presume or least I should beleeve and have no ground for my faith J. It is not presumption for thee to do what I command thee but it is obedience and is not my word of promise a sufficient ground for thy faith 1 Ioh. 3.23 Joh. 5.24 P. Doest thou then Lord command me to beleeve J. Yes feare not beleeve on me and thou shalt be saved Lu. 8.50 with Act. 16.31 P. But Lord though thou commandest me yet I have no power to beleeve J. I will write my law in thy heart and will inable and give thee power to beleeve Heb. 8.10 Mat. 12.21 P. Lord if thou wilt also give me power to beleeve I will acknowledge I am nothing but what I am in thee and that I have nothing but what I have received from thee J. Doest thou not beleeve P. Oh yes now Lord I do beleeve Ioh. 9.38 J. This is the worke and gift of God that thou dost beleeve for flesh and blood hath not wrought this in thee Ioh. 6.29 Eph. 2.8 P. Oh Lord I do acknowledge it to be thy worke but I am afraid I shall loose this faith againe J. I that am the Authour of thy faith will also finish it be therefore of good cheare for thou art one of my Fathers children and of my Saints and my spirit shall abide in thee for ever Heb. 12.2 Iohn 1.12 Iohn 4.14 Iohn 7.38 39. P. Lord I have sinned against thy father and against thee and I am unworthy to bee called either his Son or thy Servant Luk. 15.21 J. Sonne thy sins are forgiven thee sinne no more Luke 5.23 Iohn 8 11. P. Lord I am afraid I shall sinne againe though I desire and resolve never to do it But what Lord if I should sinne against my will J. Thou canst not sinne willingly and wilfully for my seede of grace will remain in thee and if thou sinnest through weaknesse and frailty I will be an Advocate and propitiation for thy sinnes 1 Ioh. 3.9 1 Ioh. 2.12 P. Is it then thy will Lord that I should have forgivenesse of my sins and doubt no more J. Yes sure for these things have I spoken that thou shouldest have a full assurance and doubt no more P. But what if Sathan when he sees me sinne will tempt me to doubt again J. Say unto him that I am faithfull and just to forgive thee thy sinnes and that my blood cleanseth thee from all sin 1 Ioh. 17. P. But Lord wilt not thou have me to confesse my sinnes J. Yes I will have thee confesse them be sorry for them and forsake them 1 Ioh. 1.9 Prov. 28.13 P. But Lord is it thy minde that I should alwayes be sorrowfull J. No but it is my mind rather that thou shouldest always rejoyce and have strong consolation Phil. 4.4 Heb. 6.18 P. Oh Lord I cannot chuse but cry and mourn and be ashamed and hate my selfe for all my former wickednesse and ungodlinesse Ezek. 16.61 J. Thou maiest do that and yet hold fast thy confidence for the spirit of mourning and the spirit of grace and adoption may be in thy heart at once and the one not destroy the other Zac. 12.10 P. Lord how is that J. Thou maist mourne at the sight of thy sins as they were comitted against me and for thy denying selling and crucifying me and yet thou maiest beleeve because I have said so that they are all pardoned As Josephs brethren cryed and complained for their guiltinesse in selling him yet they were glad that he was alive and could helpe them in their distresse Gen. 42.21 22. P. Now Lord thou hast taught me what I should do in respect of my selfe but now Lord I would do something for thee J. Come then and follow me Mat. 9.9 And he arose and followed him The second Conference between Christ and a Pharisee Pharisee THen one of the Pharisees came to him and asked him what shal I do to work the work of God Joh. 6.28 Jesus This is the worke of God that thou beleeve in him viz. me whom he hath sent Joh. 6.29 Ph But Master what good thing shall I do that I may have eternall life Mat. 19.16 J. If thou wilt be saved by doing then keep the Commandements Ph I have kept them all from my youth Mat. 19.20 J. Then thou art no sinner Ph Yes we are all sinners but I thanke God I am not as other men are Extortioners Unjust Adulterers or even as this Publican Luke 18.11 J. Why what doest thou more than this Publican Ph I fast twice in the weeke and give tithes of all that I possesse and concerning the Law I live blamelesse Luk. 18.12 Phil 3.6 J. Hast thou never read that they which followed after the Law of Righteousnesse have not attained to the Law of Righteousnesse Rom. 9.31 Ph No I never observed that but I remember another text where God saith I gave them my Statutes and shewed them my Judgements which if a man do he shall live in them Ezek. 20.11 J. Doest thou then think to go to heaven by doing Ph Not by doing onely but by doing good and departing from evill J. But doth not the Law say cursed is he that observeth not all things that are written in the words of the Law to do them Deut 27.26 Ph Yes that is whosoever breaks the Law is accursed unlesse hee repents for it J. The Law doth not say unlesse men repent for breaking it they are accursed but it says absolutely they are cursed and I say whosoever keepeth the whole law and yet offendeth in one point he is guilty of all Gal. 3.10 Jam 2.10 Mat 5.19 Ph I say so too that except men keep the law of Moses they (a) Acts 15.1.24 cannot be saved and whosoever (b) Joh. 7 49 know not and keepe not the Law they are accursed J. Doest thou know the Law Ph Yes I know the Law for I am instructed daily out of the Law by our (c) Zeph. 3.4 Doctors of the Law and holy Priests J The Priests have done violence to the Law and they that (d) Jer. 2.8 handle the Law know not the Lord. Ph Jehovah hath said that the Law shal not perish from the Priests for the Priests lips is to keep knowledge and we are to seek the Law at his mouth Jer 18.18 Mal 2.7 J. God hath said also that the Law shall (e) Ez. 7.16 perish from the Priests and that they (f) Jer. 31.4 shall not every man teach his neighbour any more for all shall know the Lord from the least to the greatest Ph I perceive thou goest about to destroy the Law J Thinke not so for I am not come to destroy the Law but to fulfill it Mat 5.17 Luke 16.17 Ph I Sir I like that that wee should fulfill the Law for Moses gave us the Law that wee should performe it J Yes Moses gave you the Law but (a) Joh. 7.19 none of you keepeth it but (b) Mal.
upon winde and provoked mee to anger most bitterly yet my bowells did still worke toward Ephraim that I could not destroy him Hos 8.8 and 12.1.14 with 11.8 Bel But I increased in sin and the more mercies I received the more my heart was exalted Ch Even so did Ephraim sin more and more and according as hee was filled so his heart was exalted Hos 13.2 6. Bel But Lord what didst thou do to Ephraim Ch I drew them with the cords of a man and with bands of love and I was as the dew unto them Heb. 11.4 and 14.5 Bel Oh but I have forsaken the Lord and backeslided from thee Ch So did Israel and Judah Jer. 2.13 and 3.6 and 4.16 Bel But Lord I find that my heart is bent to continuall backesliding yea my backeslidings are encreased Ch So were * Hos 11.7 Ier. 5.6 they yet I healed their backslidings so will I heale thine also Hos 14.4 Jer. 3.14.22 Bel But I fell into grosse sinnes that hath dishonoured thee and caused thine enemies to blaspheme Ch So did my servant David 2 Sam. 12.14 and other of my Saints Bel I but then he did mourne and repent greatly for his sins but I cannot do so for I find my heart as hard as an Adamant Ch So my people Israels hearts formerly were as hard as a Rocke Adamant and Flint Jer. 5.3 Ezek. 3.9 Bel Oh but I have been long yea ever troubled with this hardnesse of heart Ch Though thou hast yet I wil take the stony heart out of thy flesh and I wil give thee a heart of flesh Eze. 36.26 Bel But I cannot repent mee of the hardnesse of my heart Ch What though yet I am exalted to give repentance unto thee Act. 5.31 Bel Oh but I doe not find that I am sensible enough of my sin for if I were I should mourne and be ashamed for all the wickednesse which I have committed against thee Ch When thou doest see mee whom thou hast pierced and when thou seest that I am pacified towards thee then thou shalt mourn loath thy selfe and bee ashamed for all thy sinnes and abominations which thou hast committed against me Rev. 1.7 Ezek. 6.9 16.63 B. But Lord I am a very great sinner and I would faine see the nature and number of my sins that I might truly repent me of them and be humbled for them C. If thou didst se all thy sins with their nature number and aggravations thou couldst never look upon them Gen. 4.13 Mar. 27.3 4 5. but with despaire as Cain and Iudas And it is not so much the sight of sin as the sight of my Love Grace Goodnesse and Glory that will lead thee to repentance and humble thee for thy sins Luk. 7.42.47 Zach. 12 10. Rom. 2.4 Esa 6.5 B. Oh Lord I know I am as wicked a sinner and as ungodly a wretch as ever lived but though I know this yet methinks I am not broken with the sence thereof I cannot weep nor shed tears for my sins Oh no! I go many times to prayer and to heare Sermons and there is no more working nor relenting upon my soule then if J were a dead stock or stone C. Oh my deare soule do not thou belye thy selfe for I have heard many a sorrowfull sigh comming from thy heart and I have seene many a teare drop from thine Eyes Ezek. 9.4 Psal 34.17 Zack 12.11 Heb. 5.7 and I will yet poure out more of the Spirit of mourning upon thee But what if thou didst not finde these things in thy selfe yet I have offered up strong cries and teares unto my Father for thee B. Oh Lord that I had but faith to beleeve that for my selfe C. Have faith in me and be not faithlesse but beleeving Mar. 11.22 Ioh. 20.27 B. Lord I find so much Atheisme and unbeliefe in my heart that I have often times questionings in my selfe concerning God and concerning the Scriptures and word of God C. These are the temptations and suggestions of Satan and my own Disciples were and are troubled with them Luk. 24.25 B. Oh Lord J am troubled with a thousand temptations Yet feare not my loving and deare Child for though thou hast divers temptations Jam. 1.2 1 Cor. 10.13 Heb. 2.18 2 Pet. 2.9 yet it is that which my best Saints have had and I will not suffer thee th be tempted above what thou art able but I will succour thee in thy temptations and I will make away that thou shalt escape and be deliver out of temptation B. But I think that no Saint hath such temptations as mine for sometimes I am tempted to kill my selfe and sometimes to kill others insomuch that J cannot look upon any weapon waters or the like but I am ready to do my selfe away therewith C. Satan tempted me to cast my selfe of the Pinacle of the Temple and he also tempted many of my deare Children to destroy themselves but do not thou hearken to the Accuser for he doth accuse thee to me and me to thee but rather say unto him Mar. 4.5 Rev. 12.10 Job 12.31 Satan it is written my Lord Jesus hath overcome thee and I hope through his bloud and through his might and spirit to overcome thee likewise say also my God hath commanded me not to kill another Exod. 20.13 Act. 16.28 Job 13.15 nor to doe hurt or violence to my selfe therefore get thee behind me thou lier murtherer and Enemy for I will put my trust in Christ though he kill me and I will endeavour to live to serve him though he should afterwards damne me B. Though I do sometimes resolve against Satans temptations and labour to resist them yet I find my temptations are renewed and I am not able to withstand them for they come in as a floud upon me C. I that say unto the proud waves hitherto shalt thou come but no further I will by my spirit put the Enemy Satan to flight when he comes in like a floud against thee Job 38.11 Se Esa 59.19 marg B. But Lord I find I am not only troubled with feare and sad temptations but also with strong and powerfull corruptions C. I will subdue all thy iniquities and thy sins shall not have dominion ouer thee Mich. 7.19 Rom. 6.14 B. Oh but this doth much trouble me that I do not find any love in my heart to thee Deut. 30.6 1 Joh. 4.19 C. What though thou dost not yet I will circumcise thy heart and thou shalt love me and when thou apprehendest my love to thee thou wilt love me againe B. I have sinned Lord against thy mercies and abased thy love yea loved my sins more then thee therefore I cannot think that ever thou wilt look upon me with any love or delight C. So did my servant David 2 Sam. 12.8 9. Hos 2.5 14.4 2.9 and my people Jsrael doe yet as I loved them so will I love thee freely and betroth thee to me
in loving kindnesse and mercy B. But Lord I have not only sin'd against thy mercies but against thy corrections and chastisements also C. So did my people Israel formerly doe Esa 57.17 18. for when I smote them they went on frowardly in the way of their evill heart but I lead them and restor'd comforts to them B. I bui my condition is worse the n all that for I have been long unde r the means of grace and yet I am altogether fruitlesse and like the barren Fig-tree C Thou troubled soule in me is thy fruit found Joh. 15.5 Psal 92.12 13 14. and I will purge thee and thou shalt bring forth fruit abundantly for they that are planted in my house shall flourish and be fat and like a green Olive Tree B. I Lord its true if J were a branch in thee and a true member of thy house then I could beleeve these promises of thine alas I am neither of both but separated from thee and thy people C. Do not say that thou art none of mine for I have bought thee with my blond and do not speak that thou art separated from my people Esa 56.3.5 for I will give thee in mine house and within my walls a place and a name better then the name of Sons and Daughters B. Sure if I were not an out-cast and a Reprobate I should not be thus as I am in a wildernesse condition C Israel was accounted an out-cast and she cried out Jer. 30.16.17 22. yet I was then a God to her and she a people to me B. Oh if I were but one of thine I should then count my selfe the happiest in all the world C. Feare not my Spouse for I am thy Husband and thy Father B. If I were one of thy Children thou wouldst not hide thy selfe from me as thou dost C. I have hid my selfe and my face from some of my Prophets and people of old and yet it was in love to them and so it is to thee Psal 88.14 Esa 8.17 64.7 B. But thou hast hid thy selfe from me and thou seemest also to be angry with me Esa 54.5 Jer. 31.9 C. Fury is not in me towards thee and though I be angry yet my anger is but for a moment Esa 27.4 54.8 B. Yet Lord thou hast been angry with me a long time for thou hast for gotten me C. Zion did say so the Lord hath forsaken me and my Lord hath forgotten me yet I had not forgot her for she was graven upon the palmes of my hands Esa 49.14 15. Ier. 51.5 B. But Lord if thou had'st not forgotten me thou would'st never have left me in such a wildernesse and barren condition as I am in C. I have allured thee into the wildernesse that I might speak comfortably unto thee Hos 2.14 B. I have been may years in trouble and terrours and wanting peace in my soule which could not possibly have been if I had truly beleeved in thee C. But now will I speak peace unto thee and I will guide thee into the way of peace Psal 85.8 Luk. 1.79 B. How Lord wilt thou speak peace unto me i. e. The Prea chers Lips that preacht peace and guide me into the way of peace C. I will create the fruit of the lips Peace Peace and my spirit shall be in thee and his fruit shall be peace to thy soule Esa 57 19. 55.12 B. But Lord thy word saith there is no peace to the wicked C. No not to a man that will persist in his wicked way and doth not nor will not beleeve in me but thou art one of those that I bore the chastizement of thy peace and one of the Children of peace Esa 53.5 54.13 B. But Lord how can I have peace seeing a man cannot have peace before and without he does beleeve C. Thou shalt have faith and peace and I will give peace through beleeving 2. Thes 3.16.6 B. But Lord then J must know that I am one of thine C. Thou shalt know that I am the Lord thy God and that thou art one of my people Ezek. 34.30 B. Oh how shall I know that C. My spirit shall beare witnesse with thy spirit that thou art my Child Rom. 8.16 B. But how shall I know that it is thy spirit that beareth this witnesse and that it is not the spirit of delusion C. Thou maist know that by its power in working in thy heart which no other spirit can work alike as also by the earnest and fruits there of 2 Cor. 5.5 7.22 Gal. 5.22 23. B. Lord what else shall I beleeve besides being one of thine C. Dost thou beleeve that B. Yes Lord J do beleeve that thou art Iesus the Son of God and the Saviour of the world Act. 8 37. Joh. 6.69 11.27 C. But dost thou beleeve that I am thy Saviour B. Lord I do beleeve that there is no other way to be saved but only by thee Act. 4.12 C. But dost thou beleeve that thou shalt be saved by me B. Lord I do beleeve help my unbeliefe Mark 9.24 C. To thee it is given to beleeve Phil. 1.29 B. Now Lord I doe beleeve C. What dost thou now beleeve B. I beleeve that thou loved'st me and did'st give thy selfe for me and that thou art my Lord and my God and that I am justified and shall be saved by grace Gal. 2.20 Joh. 20.28 Act. 15.11 C. How cam'st thou tobeleeve this B. Lord it is by thy gift and work that J do beleeve it Eph. 2.8 Heb 12.2 C. Well now thou dost beleeve what wilt thou do B. Lord what wilt thou have me to do Act. 9.6 C. If thou love me keep my words Ioh. 14.23 B. What are those words of thine C. Search the Scriptures for they are able to make thee perfect and wise unto salvation and to furnish thee for every good work Ioh. 5.39.2 Tim. 3.16.17 B. But Lord how shall I understand thy word C. I will make known my words unto thee Pro. 1.23 B. But Lord is there no danger of my departing and falling away from thee now I do beleeve C. No the Mountaines shall depart and the Hills be removed but my loving kindnesse shall not depart from thee Esa 54.10 Ier. 32.40 B. Lord I will keep thy precepts with my whole heart Psal 119 69. C. I have redeemed thee that thou should'st serve me without feare in Holinesse and Righteousnesse all the dayes of thy life Luk. 1.69 B. Come ye Children and I will declare what my Lord hath don for my soule My SOVLE shall make her boasts of the LORD the humble shall be are this and be glad and magnifie the LORD with me and let us Exalt his Name together Psal 34.11.2 3. FINIS
of them Jesus Poore Publican What makes thee draw near to mee Publican Because they say Lord that thou art a friend of Publicans and Sinners Matth. 11.19 J. So I am and thou art welcome my beloved friend sit downe therefore with me and my Disciples Mat. 9.10 P. Good Master though I am unworthy to come into thy presence yet through thy leave I le sit here at thy feet to heare thy gracious words Mar. 7.25 Luke 10.39 Joh. 12.3 J. How knowest thou that my words are gracious P. Lord I have heard thee say that Publicans and Harlots shall enter into the King dome of heaven before the Pharisees which thinke themselves far better then us Mat. 21.31 Luke 18.11.12 J. And what say the Pharisees to that P. They murmure among themselves and say This man receiveth sinners and eateth with them Luke 15.2 J. Didst thou ever heare me preach besides that time P. Yes once besides and it was the best and comfortablest Sermon that ever I heard J. Dost thou remember any of it P. Yes though I have a bad memory yet I remember thou didst say If a man had a hundred sheep and did lose one of them he would leave the ninety and nine in the wildernesse and goe after that which was lost untill he finde it and when he had found it he layeth it on his shoulders rejoycing and when he commeth home he calleth together his friends and neighbours saying unto them rejoyce with me for I have found my sheep that was lost J. Is that all thou dost remember P. No I remember somewhat more that thou didst speake of a woman that had ten pieces of silver and when she had lost one piece she sought for it till she had found it and then called her neighbours together to rejoyce with her Also thou spakest of a man that had two sonnes the one that lived still at home and was obedient to his father the other that went away from his father and spent his fathers means among harlots till he came to poverty and yet when he returned to his father his father did receive him willingly and made him great welcome and entertainment J. Well done my friend thou hast well remembred but dost thou know why I spake these comparisons P. No Sir I doe not well know that J. It was to comfort and encourage the Publicans and great sinners that did heare me and to silence the Jewes that did murmure because they came to beare me and because I received them P. It is true Lord there were many of us there then but we did not know what thou didst mean by the lost sheep the lost piece and the wicked son J. I did mean thy Country-men and companions the Publicans Harlots and Sinners that are in a lost condition because of your sinnes and wickednesse in the eyes of others as the Pharisees quite lost and adjudged to perish for ever P. But who was it Lord that did seeke for the lost sheep and the lost piece of silver J. It was I who am the Saviour of sinners and the Shepherd of the sheep that am come to seeke and to save that which is lost Luke 19 10. Matth. 18.11 P. Lord I am one of those that are lost what shall I doe to be saved Acts 16.31 J. I am the way and the doore if any man enter in he shall be saved and whosoever beleeveth on me shall not perish but have everlasting life Joh. 14.6 10.9 3.15.16 P. Lord canst thou save such a sinner as I am J. Yes I have power to save and power to destroy but I came not to destroy * Greek 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the soules of men mens lives but to save them Jam. 4.12 Luk. 9.56 P. And art thou willing Lord that I should be saved J. Yes I am willing that all should be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth 1 Tim. 2.5 P. But Lord I am a wicked and a sinfull man Luk. 5.8 J. I know deare soule thou art so But I came not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance Matth. 9.13 P. But Lord I am not an ordinary but an extraordinary sinner J. Notwithstanding poore man hearken for thy comfort There was a certaine Creditor that had two debtors the one ought five hundred pence and the other fifty and when they had nothing to pay be frankly forgave them both Luk. 7.41.42 P. But Lord I am a greater sinner then either of them both for I have nothing but sinned all my life time J. What though I am come to deliver those that were all their life time subject to * Or the bondage of sin bondage Heb. 2.15 P. Lord be mercifull to me being a sinner for I thinke there is not a greater sinner upon earth then I am Luke 18.13 J. I am mercifull and I will bee mercifull and will pardon thy sins Jer. 3.12 Heb. 8.12 P. Lord I am such a sinner I deserve no pardon for I have wearied thee with my sins J. Though thou dost not deserve pardon and though thou hast wearied me with thy sins yet I will pardon thine iniquities for my owne names sake Esa 43.25 P. Lord I doe thinke my sinnes are so great that it is impossible for them to be pardoned J. Doe not thinke or say so for all things are possible to him that beleeveth Mark 9.23 P. But my sins are so red I think all the water in the sea cannot wash them away J. Though thy sins be as scarlet they shal be as white as snow and though they be red like crimson they shall be as wooll if thou wilt turne to me from them for my bloud can cleanse thee from all sin Esa 1.18 1 Ioh. 1.7 P. But Lord if I should turne to thee from them yet they are written downe and thou wilt not blot them out Ier. 18.23 J. I am be that blotteth out thy transgressions yea have blotted out as a thicke cloud thy transgressions and as a cloud thy sins returne therefore unto me for I have redeemed thee Esa 43.25 44.22 P. But if I should returne unto thee yet when I sinne againe thou wilt remember my sins J. No I will pardon thee and thy sins and iniquities will I remember no more Heb. 10.17 P. Oh Lord I am the childe of wicked parents and thou ha said thou wilt visit the sins of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generation J. If a wicked father begets a son that seeth all his fathers sins which he hath done and considereth and doth not such like that sonne shall not beare the iniquity of the father Ezek. 18.14.20 Ezek. 16.3 to the 13. P. But Lord were there any wicked parents that had good children J. Yes many as wicked (a) 2 Kin. 16.20 with 2 Kin. 18.3 Ahaz had good Hezekiah So (b) 2 King 21 21 22. with 2 Kin. 22.2 Idolatrous Amon zealous Iosiah and ungodly Saul had godly Ionathan P.
Lord what if I be a Bastard and the childe of whoredome J. That doth not hinder thee neither to be saved for my servant (c) Jud. 11.1 with Heb. 11.32 Jepthah was a Bastard so was my servant Phares who is reckoned in my owne Genealogie Compare Gen. 38.18 29 Ruth 4.12 with Mat. 1.3 P. But Lord is there not such a Scripture that a Bastard shall not enter into thy Congregation untill the tenth Generation J. Yes there is such a (d) Deu. 23.2 Scripture and that should make people shun the sin of whoredome but that doth not exclude men that are borne Bastards after the flesh if they be borne againe of the Spirit either out of my Church on Earth now in the dayes of the Gospell or yet out of Heaven P. But what Lord if my father was a Bastard J. Neither doth that binder for Zarah the brother of Phares who was a Bastard begot my two wise and godly servants Ethan and Heman compare Gen. 38.30 1 Chron. 26. with Psal 88. and Psal 89. the titles of both being of Heman and Ethan P. Oh Lord I am a very old sinner and have one foot already in the grave and I feare it is too late for me now to be called J. No it is not too late for I call some at the ninth hour yea some at the (e) Which is but one houre before night or a little before Death eleventh houre And I will poure out of my Spirit upon old men in these Gospel daies Mat. 20.6.9 Joel 2.28 with Act. 2.17 P. But Lord I have committed such great and hainous sins both by speaking and doing that I am afraid it is in vaine for me to seek mercy J. Though thou hast spoken and done evill things as much as thou couldest yet returne unto me and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon thee for I am mercifull Jer. 3.5 P. How shall I looke upon thee Gracious Lord for I have multiplied sins against thee J. As thou hast multiplied sins so will I (f) Or will abundantly pardon multiply pardons if thou wilt returne unto me the Lord Esa 55.7 P. Oh but Lord I scarce think that any so wicked as my selfe were saved for I was an Idolater an Adulterer a Thiefe a Drunkard and what not that was wicked J. Such were many of my servants that are now in heaven but I according to my owne kindnesse and pitty to them saved them by washing sanctifying and justifying them by my owne (g) Or power Name Blood and Spirit 1 Cor. 9.6 9 10 11. Tit. 3.3 4 5 6 7. P. Oh but mercifull Saviour I was a Ring-leader of others into sinne and I enticed and drew many into wickednesse and therefore my case is far worse then others J. As thou wast a Ring-leader and Enticer of others into sin so I can make thee a guide and leader of others into and in the way of righteousnesse as I made thy Country-man Levi and others P. But that which makes me fear most is because I was a Blasphemer Reviler and Persecutor of thy people yea many of thy Saints did I shut up in Prison J. Yet thou shalt have mercy because thou didst it ignorantly through unbeliefe 1 Tim. 1.13 P. Oh but Lord I finde my heart is hardened through the deceitfulnesse and custome of sinne that I cannot hope it will ever be otherwise J. I can and will take the stony heart out of thy flesh and I will give thee a heart of flesh Eze. 36.26 P. Lord wilt thou doe all for mee J. I must do all for thee for without mee thou canst doe nothing Phil. 2.13 Joh. 15.5 P. Lord what then shall I do J. Before I teach thee what thou must doe I will first shew thee what I have done and suffered for thee P. Good Master I desire to know that J 1. I left my own glory and came into the world to save thee and such sinners as thou art John 17.5 1 Tim 1.15 2. Though I was the onely Son of my Father and in his own forme and equall to him yet I tooke upon mee the forme of a servant for thee and thy brethrens sake Joh. 1.14 Phil. 2.6 7 8. 3. Though I was Heire of all things and Possessour of heaven and earth yet I became poore and hungry that thou mightest be made rich Heb. 1.2 Gen. 14.19 and 2 Cor. 8.9 4. Though I deserved honour and glory yet I was reviled threamed and persecuted by my owne creatures and all for my good will to thee Heb. 2.9 1 Pet. 2.23 5. Though I had no sinne yet I was made sin that thou poore sinner mightest escape sin 1 Pet. 1.19 and 2.22 2 Cor. 1.21 6. Though I was a Law-giver and Law-maker yet I became under the curse of my own Law that I might redeem thee from that curse Esa 33.22 Gal. 3.13 7. When I had power over mine own life and no man could take it from mee yet I laid it downe for thee that thou mightest have life Joh. 10.18 Rom. 5.6.9 1 Ioh. 3.16 8. Though I was my fathers delight and an object of his love from everlasting yet I became an object of his wrath for my love to thee Prov. 8.30 Psa 88.16 102.10 9. When thou wast an enemy and stranger to God my father I made peace betweene him and thee and reconciled thee to him by my death and jufferings Rom. 5.10 Col. 1.20 21. Eph. 2.12 13. 10. When thou wert a slave to the Devil and a fire-brand of hel I did rescue thee from the power of the one and redeem thee from the plague and punishment of the other 2 Tim. 2.25 Amos 4.11 Heb. 2.14 1 Thes 1.10 P. Oh Lord I did not deserve any of this from thee J. True thou didst not deserve it but yet I did it freely and out of my love to thee Rom. 3.24 Eph. 5.2 P. Are all my sins Lord satisfied for and done away by thy death J. Yes they are perfectly satisfied for and absolutely don away out of my fathers sight never to be imputed again to thee 2 Cor. 5.19 P. And is there nothing now in the way that hinders me to bee saved J. No there is nothing for I have taken all things out of the way that hindred thee to be saved Col. 2.14 P. And am I to do nothing to be saved J. No nothing at all towards thy owne salvation for I have bought thee from death and purchased thee life and salvation 1 Cor. 6.20 1 Pet. 1.18 19. Eph. 1.14 P. Shall I then be saved Lord J. Yes if thou wilt beleeve and trust wholly and onely upon me and upon my righteousnesse and merits thou shalt bee saved Joh. 3.36 Rom. 9.33 and Ro. 10.9.11 P. Lord I would beleeve but I partly am afraid to beleeve and partly I am so weak I cannot beleeve J. Thou poor fearefull heart feare not but be strong Esa 35.4 But tell me why thou art afraid P. Least I should
many thousand times more uxworthy am I a wretched and wicked sinner Ch It is true neither they nor thou As the Prodigalls Father did his son Lu. 15.21 22. could be worthy of your selves but yet I am willing to account you worthy Luk. 20.35 and 21.36 Rev. 3.4 Bel. But Lord if there were any thing that were good in me it might a little incourage me to come unto thee but I find nothing but evill in me Ch Dost thou not know that without me thou canst (e) Ioh 15.5 doe nothing and that a man can (f) Joh 3.27 receive nothing except it bee given him from heaven Why then dost thou stay away from me who must (g) Esa 26.12.2 12. worke all thy workes in thee And 2. Because thou seest nothing but evill in thee thou shouldst the rather come unto me who am the (h) Zac. 13.1 Fountaine wherein thy unclean soule must be washed and unlesse I (i) Eze. 36.25 1.9 wash thee thou canst not bee cleane nor have any (k) Joh. 13.8 part in me Bel True Lord thou art the Fountaine and wel-spring of life and it is thy blood and nothing else that can wash away my sins but how can I come near to thee who am so wicked that for ought I know have counted thy blood an (l) Heb. 10.29 unholy thing Ch Thou poor Ac. 2.36.41 dear and doubting soule what if thou hadst had a hand in crucifying mee as the Jewes had yet cannot I forgive thee as I did many of them But thou hast not accounted my blood an unholy thing for thou still desirest to have thy sins washed away by it Bel What the Iewes did they did ignorantly but I have sinned against knowledge which makes my sins worse then theirs Ch If thou hast finned against knowledge yet thou hast not sinned so but that thou maist be forgiven For my deare Disciple Peter sinned against knowledge when hee denied with an oath that hee knew me not Mat. 26.72 Bel. Oh but yet my sinnes are worse then his for his sin was but one sin and that a suddaine and short sin but I have sinned many sinnes and continued long in them Ch So did my beloved servant David who was a man according to my owne heart commit severall sinnes together as Murther Whoredome c. and continued a while too in his sinnes Bel. Oh but Lord those servants of thine though they sinned against thee yet they expressed a great deale of sence of their sins and sorrow for them but I can neither be sensible of nor sorrowfull for mine Ch Oh sweet soule thou mistakest and forgettest thy selfe for thou dost often confesse thy sinnes before me with sence shame and sorrow And I hear thee daily bemoaning and complaining and saying I have (n) Iob 7.20 Psal 51.4 Lam. 5.16 sinned against the Lord woe is me for I am undone Bel Oh good Lord it is not without cause that I cry wo is me I am undone for I thinke there is no soule in such a dangerous and desperate condition as mine is in Ch Why doest thou thinke and say so Bel. Because I have sinned that unpardonable sin against thy spirit Ch Oh thou poor and precious soule thou dost but thinke so and feare so But tell mee how canst thou sin that sin against my Spirit and yet pray for more of my Spirit and so much prize my Spirit as thou dost Bel Oh Lord I have often grieved and quenched thy Spirit and is not this to commit that unpardonable sin Ch My owne deare and loving children may and doe sometimes grieve my spirit by sinning and quench the gracious motions of it and yet doe not sin that unpardonable sinne Eph. 4.30 1 Thes 5.19 Esay 63.10 Bel Oh but I can thinke no lesse but that I have committed that sin for I have had hard cruell and desperate thoughts in my heart against the Holy Spirit Ch Though my childe thou hast had such thoughts in thy heart yet thou hast not spoken evill of my Spirit as the Jewes did which is the sin of blasphemy and that unpardonable sinne Mat. 12.24 28 31. Mark 3.22 to 30. Bel Lord I am not sure but that I have spoken evill words of thy spirit for I know I have many times uttered vile bitter and cursed words Ch Notwithstanding thou didest through the violence of thy temptations and in the bitternesse of thy Soule speake such words as my servants Job Iob 3.1 to 13 10 18 23.15 16. Ps 31.22 116.11 Ier 20.14 c. Ionah 4.3 4 9. Mat. 26 72 74 David Jeremy Jonah and Peter did yet thou hast not done despight nor sinned maliciously and willfully against my Spirit of grace as Reprobates doe Heb. 10.29 Bel. Oh I have been and still am very wilfull and have often sinned wilfully and thou sayest in thy word that if any sinne wilfully after they receive the knowledge of the truth there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins Heb. 10.26 Ch Thou deare soule have not I heard thee often in prayer complaining of and bewailing thy sins and beging earnestly for power against them therefore it is rather against thy will then wilfully that thou dost sinne Bel. Oh but I finde sinnes in power in my soule which if I were a Saint they would not be so Ch My servant Paul found sinne so strong in him that he confessed he was carnall and sold under sin and that he found a law in his members Sin was in power in Paul when it could carry him captive warring against the law of his minde and bringing him into captivity to the law of sinne Rom. 14.23 Bel. Oh but neither Paul nor any other Saint hath sinned presumptuously as I have done Ch. My servant David prayed that hee might bee kept from presumptuous sins for he was subject thereunto Psa 19.13 It is probable that David sined presumptuously in killing Vriah and so are the best of my Saints Bel. But Lord I have rebelled against thee Ch So did my servants of * Is 1.2 63.20 old but I have received * Ps 68.18 gifts for the Rebillious and to me belongs mercies and forgivenesse though thou hast rebelled against me Dan. 9.9 Bel Oh but my Rebellion is the worst Rebellion of all for I have rebelled against the light I have professed thee and yet I have belyed thee and made an hypocriticall profession I seemed like Judas to be thy friend whilst in my heart I did not love thee Ch The house of Israel and the house of Judah dealt treacherously against me the Lord and belied me and Ephraim my deare sonne compassed me about with lies yet was I gracious to them Jer. 5.11.12 Hos 11.12 with Jer. 23.6 and 31.20 Bel. But Lord Ephraim was never so wicked as I am and guilty of such Lukewarmnesse Hypocrisie and Backesliding as I am guilty of Ch Yea Ephraim was as a cake not turned And Ephraim fed