was this First M. William Brettergh M. William Fox M. Edward Aspinwall M. Iohn Brettergh Mistris Maud Brettergh Mistris Scholastica Fox William Woodward Elizabeth Challoner the seueritie of Gods iustice and the greatnes of her sins began to come into her mind which much afflicted her and shée would often speake of it Then she accused her selfe of pride that shée had delighted too much in her selfe and her beautie Afterwards she thought shee had no faith but was full of hypocrisie and had not imbraced Religion so earnestlie nor glorified God so worthilie especially with her tongue which oft shée repeated nor loued him so sincerely as shée ought to haue done Sometime she would cast her Bible from her and say It was indeed the booke of life but she had read the same vnprofitablie and therefore feared it was become to her the booke of death Sometimes she would say her sinnes had made her a pray to Satan a spectacle to the world a disgrace to religion and a shame to her husband kinred and all true Christians and here shee would weepe bitterly Sometime the originall corruption wherein she was borne troubled her and the sinnes of her parents and the common parents of all the eaters of the forbidden fruit as if that had made her vnworthie of God and were then laid to her charge Many times shee accused her selfe of impatience be wailing the want of feeling Gods spirit and making doubt of her election and such like infirmities She wished that she had neuer béen borne or that she had been made any other creature rather then a woman She cried out oftentimes Woe woe woe c. a weake a wofull a wretched a forsaken woman and such like pitifull complaints against her selfe with teares continually trickling from her eies Shée complained of grieuous thirst such as all the water in the sea could not quench and yet when drinke was giuen her sometimes refused it sometimes tooke a very little of it sweate burst out vpon her excéedingly and sometimes her body borned extreamely So it seemed the sorrowes of death hemmed her in and the griefes of hell laid hold vpon her Sometimes 〈◊〉 very 〈…〉 prayer and once when she should haue said Deade vs not into tentation she made a stop saying I may not pray I may not pray being interrupted as she said by Satan and so shewed much discomfort howbeit she was not left till she could both pray ane make confession of her faith with speciall application to her selfe Besides these fierie darts of Satan shee was once or twice troubled with vaine speeches as of her child the killing of her husbands cattell that she thought she saw a fire by her c. But euery one saw that these things proceeded of weakenesse emptinesse of her head and want of sleepe which her disease would not affoord her These fits though they were for the time grieuous to her selfe and discomfortable to her friends yet were they neither long nor continual but in the very middest of them would she oftentimes giue testimonie of her faith striuing and fighting against her tentations Many times when the standers by iudged her afflictions at the sharpest would she call vpon God lifting vp her eies and hands to heauen and desire him to giue her strength against her tentations Many times with a chearefull countenance she would defire those that were by not to faint nor giue her ouer but constantly to pray and helpe her against the tempter Once in the middest of her tentation being demanded by Master William Foxe William Fox whether she did beleeue the promises of God or no and whether she could pray she answered O that I could I would willingly Marke 9.24 but he will not let me Lord I beleeue helpe my vnbeliefe which she pronounced with a still low voice And when he replied that if she had a desire to pray and beleeue shée did pray and beleeue and that so effectuallie that hell gates should not ouercome her according to that of the Apostle God accepteth it according to that a man hath 2. Cor. 8.12 not according to that a man hath not she was much comforted thereby Once after a great conflict with Satan she said Satan reaso not with me William Brettergh I am but a weake woman if thou haue any thing to say say it to my Christ he is my aduocate my strength and my redeemer and he shall pleade for me Sometimes when she was afflicted with the accusation of her sins and want of féeling Gods mercy shee would with many a pitifull sob and much wéeping pray to the Lord Iesus Christ to help and comfort her Iohn Brettergh a poore wofull distressed woman Edward Aspinwall and request others to pray for hâ—â— And when she was moued to make confession of her faith she would do it oftentimes saying the Apostles Creed and concluding the same with words of application to her selfe I beléeue the remission of my sins the resurrection of my body and eternall life to me Amen And hauing done she would pray God to confirme her in that faith euer concluding with the Lords Prayer as deuoutly and reuerontly as any that were present A Christian friend who by his daily attendance on her discharged the duty of a faithfull Christian William Woodward standing by told her that no tentation had befallen her but that which appertained to the child of God and that God is faithfull and true and had promised to giue an issue with the tentation whereat she expressed great comfort Master Edward Aspinwal a faithful professor of the truth and a true Israelite was much with her in the time of her sicknes and ministred much heauenly instruction vnto her and comforted her at all times with apt places of Scripture méeting with her tentations and so put the sword of the spirit into her hand He propounded to her the most plentifull comforts of God vnto his Church in the 40.41.42 and 43. Chapters of Isaiah vttered in such spéeches and phrases Esa 40.1.2.28.29.30.31 as might most fitlie answere her discomforts Also he directed her to consider the Passion and Práyer of our Sauiour Christ for all his Esa 41.8.9.10.13.14.17.18 Isa 42.1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.13.14 15.16 Esa 43.1.2.5.25 Matth. 11.28 Iohn 17. Matth. 26. Luk. 22.23 But specially did he often inculcate that swéete inuitation of our Sauiour Come vnto me all you that trauell and be heauie laden I will ease you But the difficultie she had sometimes to apply these generals vnto her own soule in particular made the case more ful of anguish to her self and feareful and lamentable to the standers by Albeit she acknowledged Gods Maiesty mercy faithfulnesse and truth yet still complained she of her owne weaknes and vnworthines and could hardly appropriate each thing to her selfe To help her some what herein for properly otherwise it is the peculiar work of the holy spirit of God to perswade the hart and soule of her
God thereby to chasten his children and preuent some sinne which he saw vs like to fall into It is good in respect of Gods Church that the weake may be confirmed in the truth and that Papistrie may bée disgraced when the world shall sée such wickednesse flow from it It is good in God that so the wicked may be without excuse at the day of iudgement when their conscience shall tell them that howsoeuer God suffers them to doe such villanie for some iust cause knowne to himselfe yet they commit it onely of malice and reuenge Oftentimes also in these vexations she would haue said the mercies of God are infinite who doth not onely by his word but also by his iustice make vs fit for his kingdome Little doe our enemies know what good by these things they doe vnto vs and what wracke they bring to their owne kingdome while they set foorth the wickednesse thereof Many times shee would pray that God would forgiue them which had done them this hurt and send them repentance and she would call vpon her husband that he would doe the like Matth. 5.44 and blesse them that cursed him And for feare lest her husband should faile in that point through infirmitie and weakenesse Iohn 1.5 as it is said of Iob who offered sacrifice for his sonnes lest peraduenture they should sinne and blaspheme God in their hearts so she neuer failed but daily prayed vnto the Lord to sanctifie her husbands thoughts and direct his hearts right onelie to seeke Gods glorie without either desire of reuenge or satisfying his owne affections So humble was her spirit so carefull to auoid and preuent 〈…〉 and others and so mild of nature that 〈…〉 â—â—â—nesse softened the malicious heart of Esau his brother Gen. 33.3.4 1. Sam. 24. 17.18 〈◊〉 Dauid by his kindnesse in the caue changed the fuâ—â—e of Saul into wéeping and confessing that Dauid was more righteous then he so she by her meekenesse humilitie and vnspotted carriage in the world forced some of the aduersaries to Religion to speake well of her For her life she was well reported of all that knew her Pitifull and bountifull was shee to the poore and slacked no opportunitie to doe good wherein shee could but constantly held her course and kept her times of praying reading and meditating wherein she had plentifull gifts and continuallie vsed the same at such times as were fitting for her state sex and calling At the exercises of Religion as prayer and instruction in her familie she would not be wanting besides priuate prayer and meditation which she omitted not but vsed daily both in her chamber Genes 24.63 as also abroad secretlie and solitarilie in the orchard garden or fields as Isaacks manner was In reading the Scriptures shée vsed euermore to taske her selfe eight chapters a day at the least and for the time which she saw euill or idlie spent without doing some good she vsed to call the time of tentation Many times also she would reade some godly writer or expositor of Scripture or in the booke of Martyrs and was seene to weepe most bitterly when either she had read of that which touched her affections neere or of the cruell martyrdome which the deare children of God were put vnto by the cruell and wicked tyrants of former daies For Poperie she saw it so grosse and foolish Exod. 23.13 Psalm 16.4 Ephes 5.3 Iudg. 6.31.32 Eccl. 4.25.28 that shee would not once name it except it were to argue against it but neuer for it so zealous was she of Gods glorie and loued the truth so intirely that she would not once open her mouth to plead for Baal Sin aboue all things was batefull vnto her for there at shée would haue grieued as well when she had seene it in others as in her selfe One or two examples I cannot omit wherein shée bewraied a worthie spirit sanctified by the spirit of God and prepared for all the assaults of Satan On a time as her husband and 〈◊〉 were riding toward the Church he was angry with his 〈…〉 husband â—â—â—â—th she I feare your heart is not right toward 〈◊〉 that can be thus angrie for a trifle And weeping she said further you must pray against this your affection and alwaies be sure your anger be of God for else how dare you appeare this day before his Minister and offer vp your prayers in the publike congregation of the Saints of God Another time a tenant of her husbands being behind with his rent shée desired him to beare yet with him a quarter of a yeere which hee did and when the man brought his money with teares shee said to her husband I feare you doe not well to take it of him though it bee your right for I doubt he is not well able to pay it and then you oppresse the poore So great a compassion had she of other mens wants that all things being duly considered and rightly weighed me thinks I may say of her as Paul said of Timothie I know none like minded Thus after she was married Phil. 2.20 she continued in the things shee had learned and held her profession with such sinceritie that the common enemies to our religion the very Papists had nothing to say against her but confessed her life was vnreproueable And as for the godly that knew her they alwaies acknowledged that modestie and vertuous carriage in her ioyned with knowledge and practise of all the duties of religion that they had iust cause to report of her as of a sound and faithfull professor of the Gospell Two yéeres and somewhat more she liued with her husband till about Whitsontide it pleased God to send her that sicknes whereof on Whitsonday she died Her sicknesse tooke her in the manner of a hot burning Ague which made her according to the nature of such diseases now and then to talke somewhat idlâ— and through the tempters subtiltie which abused the infirmitie of her body to that end as hée oftentimes vseth to doe in many from idle words to descend into a heauie conflict with the infirmitie of her owne spirit from the which yet the Lord presently and wonderfully deliuered her giuing so ioyfull an issue to the tentation that she might well vse the words of the Prophet as afterwards she did For a moment O Lord Esa 54.8 May 23. thou diddest hide thy face from me for a little season but with euerlasting mercie thou haddest compassion on me On Saturday seuen-night before Whitsunday what time she sickned she began to feele some little infirmitie and 〈…〉 then she had wont to shew but she so â—â—â—â—uer came 〈…〉 Monday night it increased vpon her May 25. and the assault of the enemie began to be sharpe and so continued till the next day at afternoone what time God deliuered her and sent her peace and comfort of conscience and so increased the same in her continually til she died The manner of her affliction
O praise the Lord for his mercies for hee hath brought me out of darkenes Esa 27.1 Psalm 103.1.2.3.4 and the shadow of death hee hath deliuered my soule from the snare of the hunter and hath taken me out of the den of Lions euen from the iawes of Leuiathan that piercing and crooked serpent and hath set me in a place of rest and sweete refreshing Oh praise the Lord O my soule all that is within me praise his holy name my soule praise thou the Lord and forget not all his benefits which forgiueth all thine iniquities and healeth all thine infirmities which hath redeemed thy life from the graue and crowneth thee with mercie and compassion This she often repeated And then againe remembring the 21. and 22. verses of the 17. of Iohn shee said O my sweete Sauiour shall I be one with thee as thou art one with thy Father And wilt thou glorifie mee with that glorie which thou haddest with the father before the world was And dost thou so loue mee which am but dust and ashes to make me partaker of glorie with Christ What am I poore wretch that thou art so mindfull of me Psal 144.3 Psal 8.4 Oh how wonderfull how wonderfull how wonderfull is thy loue Oh thy loue is vnspeakeable that hast dealt so gratiouslie with me Oh I feele thy mercies and oh that my tongue and heart were able to sound forth thy praises as I ought and as I willingly would doe Oh that you all would helpe me to praise the holie one of Israel the God of all consolations And thus for the space of fiue houres together at the least shée continued praising and lauding the Lord with such a gladsome and heauenly countenance testifying such inward ioy from a comfortable feeling of the mercies of God in her soule and vsing such swéete sentences and sugred phrases of perfect and holy eloquence as the truth thereof if it could haue been taken were admirable continuing so many houres together some part whereof was this Oh my Lord oh my God blessed bee thy name for euermore which hast shewed me the path of life Esa 54.8 Thou didst O Lord hide thy face from me for a little season but with euerlasting mercie thou hast had compassion on me And now blessed Lord thy comfortable presence is come yea Lord thou hast had respect vnto thy handmaid and art come with fulnes of ioy and abundance of consolations O blessed be thy name O Lord my God Then shée repeated part of the 16. Psalme saying The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance wherefore my heart is glad Psal 16.59.11 and my tongue reioyceth Thou wilt shew me the path of life In thy presence is fulnes of ioy and at thy right hand there are pleasures for euermore Oh that I could therefore praise the Lord as hee is worthie to be praised I will sing to the Lord I will sing to the praise of the God of Israel come come saith she and helpe me Iudges 5.3 O helpe me to praise the Lord. And with that she began to sing the third Psalme and continued to the end of the Psalme as perfectly and with as sweete a voice as euer she had before in her health and concluded with the 49. verse of the 106. Psalme The Lord the God of Israel be blest for euermore Let all the people say Amen praise ye the Lord therefore And after this she said O praise the Lord for hee hath filled me with ioy and gladnes of heart and brought me from the gates of hell and of death repeating that of the 16. Psalme Psal 16.6 My line is fallen vnto me in a pleasant place yea I haue a faire heritage for the Lord is the portion of mine inheritance The place where I now am is sweete and pleasant Oh how pleasant is the sweete perfume of the place where I lie Exod. 30.23 It is sweeter then Aarons composed perfume of principall spices how comfortable is the sweetnes I feele Reuel 8.4 It is like that odour that proceeds from the golden censor that delights my soule The taste is precious doe you not feele it Oh so sweete it is yea sweeter then myrrhe the hony or the hony combe Let me therefore sing againe and againe vnto my Lord and my God Then she did sing the nineteenth Psalme beginning at the seuenth verse How perfect is the law of God c. and so on to the end of the same And after that spirituall reioycing in singing of Psalmes she then prayed vnto God faithfully and praised the Lord againe ioyfully And being still full of these and such like heauenly consolacions she did sing againe most hearthly vnto the praise of God the 136. Psalme Praise yee the Lord for hee is good for his mercie endureth for euer c. In which Psalme for his mercie endureth for euer is 26. times repeated A Christian friend comming in at the same time Master William Fox which was about sixe of the clocke in the euening maruelling to see her exceeding ioyes and heauenly harmonie wherein she continued with such words and phrases that were so spirituall prayed for the continuance of the same vnto the end William Brettâ—â—gh William Fox William Woodward whereupon shee then hurst out relating further of her ioyes saying Oh the ioyes the ioyes the ioyes that I feele in my soule oh they be wonderfull they bee wonderfull they bee wonderfull And after that shee prayed for increase of faith and that God would strengthen her against tentations with continuall crauing of cemission of sins euer meditating of heauenly matters as by her sudden and often breaking out into heauenly speeches and praises did appeare for the same euening she lying still and silent for a while William Fox one prayed her to remember the Lord Iesus and that shee would in her heart pray for constancie in her ioyfull course whereupon shee answered with a delightsome and cheerefull countenance and comfortable voyce Psal 27.1.3 Oh said she so I doe for the Lord is my light and my saluation whom then shall I feare Though an host pitch against me yet my heart shall not bee afraid for the Lord hath said Deut. 4.31 I will not leaue thee nor forsake thee Indeed I should vtterly haue fainted Psal 27.13 Psal 108.1 but that I beleeued to see the goodnesse of the Lord in the land of the liuing And now my heart is readie my heart is readie and prepared yea it panteth after thee O God as the Hart brayeth after the riuers of water Psal 42.1.2 so panteth my soule after thee O God my soule thirsteth for God euen for the liuing God When Lord William Brettergh when shall I come and appeare before thy presence c. Saying then further Lord sith it hath pleased thee to prepare my heart whether to life or death thy will bee done dispose of me to thine owne glorie I am thine Lord work