they loved Saints as Saints and oh that Saints were in such a frame as to eye Saintship more and to love one another because of that heavenly relation they are in having one Father and one Saviour I onely briefly mention some things concerning the time of my spirits first step into dissertion and I cannot but warn Christs babes nay though they be young men that is such as are grown from their time of infancy to riper years yet those that are more strong in the faith that have got higher then an Infant in spirituality even these may be cautioned to take heed that they look not more upon externals then upon internals Saints fetch all your comforts from your Saviours bosom still eye that which is from everlasting to everlasting it s a very secure centering in Jesus we are still in hazzard of losing our spirits when they take a rambling from Mountains to Hills sometimes they fall into a deep valley ere they are aware and when they are down many again find it a long time ere they can get up HItherto you have had an account of the Proceedings of God with her from the beginning of his Works in her in various dispensations of Free-Grace through Light and Darkness Liberty and Bondage wherein the deep and more discerning Generation of Christians may discover the beginnings and growing up of the child Jesus in her unto greater measures of Wisdom and Power then are common to most Saints and withall some hints from God of the pleasure of his will to magnifie the Wonders and Powers of his Spirit by her in some notable and transcending way where God begins to break down the Walls of flesh in a Creature in such a rending way upon those ruines he raiseth up a foundation of Heaven and of Glory to be admired In the deeps do men behold the wonders of the Lord and be lays the foundation of his Chambers in the depths Here followeth a Relation how the Glory of God appeared in her in a time of sore sickness when to all appearance she was nigh unto death shewing the precious and Powerfull faith that wrought in her and the mighty witness of God to the truth of her faith in a Glorious Effect of his Power demonstrated upon her in a visible way whereby god would seem as by a visible Sign to manifest that the Invisible God dwells in her and would put to silence the Ignorance Pride and Rage of flesh against the Presence and Power of God in her And whereby she seems to be set forth of God as an Example to all them that believe of a Faith and Power with God that is to be attained beyond what most have yet received the enjoyment of The Mysterie of Faith with Power in the heights and depths of it being yet very little understood and less enjoyed by the Lords dearest Children For whose sake this is come forth at length after some years Concealment and the rather in such a day as this wherein the Saints are called to put on again the Faith once delivered whereby they overcame all things both within and without and all things became subject unto them The account hereof follows as it was delivered to us in her own Words and Writings IT being the desire of all the Saints and of all that wish well to Sion to hear of the experiences each of other that they have in the pourings out of the Spirit which God hath said he will pour out in the latter days upon all flesh his Sons and his Daughters shall Prophesie many promises we have in the like nature And faith Christ those that believe as the Scripture hath said out of their belly shall flow Rivers of living Waters this spake he of the Spirit which should be given after his Ascention to the Father therefore the Saints are to expect it and the more the Spirit appears the greater will be the rage of Antichrist but the greater their Tribulations are the nearer will be their time of deliverance and Christ encourages Saints to list up their heads for their Redemption draweth nigh And Christ tells believers it is not only given them to believe but to suffer and the Apostle bids us not think it strange concerning fiery Tryals for such things we must meet withall before we enter into Glory even that glory promised the Saints in this life Now Saints the dropings and glimmerings of the Spirit begin to appear the day begins to dawn the day-star shall appear in its brightness so that it shall be said to the Saints arise and shine for your light is come and the glory of the Lord is risen upon you then shall the Saints be of one mind and one heart and shall not need to teach one another Saying know the Lord for they shall all be taught of God from the least to the greatest and then shall light break forth as at noon day Surely then believers shall be more frequent in calling to each other to tell what God hath done for their souls as I the most unworthy servant of the Lord Jesus am engaged to declare what God hath lately done for me putting forth his Power both for the removing of the distemper from soul and body which now I shall relate to the praise and glory of Free-Grace And I doubt not but that it will be to the joy of all the Saints for unto them I call to magnifie the Lord with me and that we may exalt his name together for it should be the delight of Saints to set up God and not self because what they are or have is all by Grace so that the Psalmist saith Not unto us but unto thy name be the praise this O friends this makes me to abhor my self in dust and ashes because I have seen the Lord more then in an ordinary manner So that I cannot but speak the things which I have seen and heard from the holy Spirit and this may be sufficient to draw out your attentions and serious considerations to that experience I am about to speak through the strength of the Spirit which bears witness to what I speak to be truth which Spirit shall lead into all truth Saints let me tell you or the Spirit making use of me to tell you that though a Cloud and Darkness may for a time cover your Spirits after you are Called and Justified and Sanctified by the holy Spirit in believing for the Tryal of your faith which is much more precious then Gold or Silver for certainly when God seems to be at a distance from the soul in respect of Communion so that God seems to be afar off and yet the soul made one Spirit with the Lord Jesus And this was my condition that though I could own God as my Father and had the Spirit of Adoption whereby I could cry Abba Father and faith given to believe the pardon of all my sins past present and to come even then my Spirits were ready to crack in
clouds At another season when I have shut my eyes immediatly they have been unclosed and my Saviour presenting his speech to me that he said to his Disciples when he was to depart from them and that was this Verily verily I say unto you I will drink no more of the fruit of this Vine till I drink it new in my Fathers Kingdom This came in in such a mysterie that I was not able to understand it but it was discovered a little thus That the spirit was held out in an embleme of wine when as Christ was upon the earth but it shall after his Ascention break forth in a new and far more glorious manner like new wine more sweet and perspicuous so that it was made forth to me to be meant the pourings forth of the Spirit Now I shall tell you Saints of more illustrations and interpretations given in from the sight of hearbs and flowers as that of the sweet Bryar why sweet and yet thorny we see the most sweetest enjoyment that this world can present to the creature hath a thorn accompanying it and likewise Christ is a very sweet fragrant smell to his friends but to his enemies a thorn and concerning flowers this was given in the variety of smells proceeding from them and the variety of colours in which was held forth the variety of beauties and sweetness flowing from my Saviour one thing I minded in the marigold it being brought before my eyes I saw pleasures and honours and the greatest preferments here guilded outsides but black in the middle so I saw the Lord Jesus glory to the Saints but black to the wicked even as the marygold appears like gold in the middle black and so likewise concerning spice A few nutmegs being presented from a friend to me thus much was hinted forth mercy and love coming from the friend of friends not single but double mercies and this was presented also from the hardness of it being stony so Christ is the corner stone and as the nutmeg is barky without and gives but little smell till it be grated and then the smell is very fragrant and the oylness of it appears so Christ when he is grated upon the spirits that is when he is made known unto the soul by the spirit Oh what sweet fragrant smell comes into every faculty of the soul And the spirit that holy oyl or unction drops down upon the whole man even as there is a discovery of the oyl in the nutmeg when it is grated Truly Saints did you but feel in the reading of this that sweet odour that I found in my spirits you could not but praise with me And when I saw the fruits of the earth many instructions were given in as in the sight of Cherries I saw the blood of my Saviour and such fruits which was firm in the outside yet hollow and a stone in the middle of them so all things here below are hollow though they appear firm Isa 40. Last the erring spirit shall come to understand and the murmuring spirit shall learn doctrine The Lord made this Scripture very sweet to me and I was incouraged to comfort drooping Saints to cast their souls upon Jesus Christ who calls to the weary and heavy laden to come to him that is to believe in him whom the father hath sent And I also was filled with such a spirit of boldness as it is written the righteous are as bold as a Lion so that whereas I am of a fearful spirit by nature yet God then carryed me forth to speak abundantly to all that came to me whether they were of high or low degree And such relentings of spirit was in me towards backsliders that I desired to weep tears of blood if it had been possible to have gained them Oh friends how did I thirst after the welâ—are of every one that they that told me they lived in the spirit I told â—hem how sweet a thing walking in the spirit wâ—s which will teach to intreat when we are reviled and to be of a lamblike spirit when enemies reproach that so we might imitate that lamb which took away sin and sure had not the spirit of God gone along with exhortations they would not have took so much effect upon many spirits I think hardly any came but they went away affected both young and old such was the love of God thus to break forth which had I the tongue of Angels I could not express I desire it may shine forth in all my actions for truly the work of God is marvellous in my eyes and that Scripture of Christ telling his Disciples that they should set upon twelve thrones Judging the twelve Tribes of Israel by that word twelve thrones was much set forth to me the great dignity of the Saints The Lord acquaint us more with the Spirit in the letter then shall we be able to understand every truth and the erring spirit shall come to understand and the murmuring spirit shall learn doctrine as God much perswaded me that that spirit of formality which hath lain so long upon the Saints should be taken off and the Lord gave me faith to believe for the Saints and me thinks I see them groaning after the pourings forth of the spirit and surely the time shall not be long ere the Lord will satisfie the groaning soul and answer the expectations of the Saints for as in God are hid treasures of wisdom and knowledge so every treasure shall be opened to the Saints in the appointed time therefore the Saints shall wait for it Many times God appeared in visions of glory to me as I lay wrapt up in the spirit I beheld a glorious star shining exceeding bright and the bright morning star the Lord Jesus was much presented into my thoughts and concerning Fzekiels vision he saw by the River Chebar it is said he saw visions of God which word being brought immediatly from God to me it was very sweet this was given into me that when Saints are in affliction in respect of their outward man though they be in great straits yet nothing can deprive them of the breakings forth of their God nay then when the creature is at a low ebb in the outward man the Lord is pleased to visit the creature with a full Sea of glory and saith to the Saints be you open ye everlasting gates that the King of glory may enter in Oh how sweet this Scripture was spoken in the spirit to me I can but hint things forth and speak partly of what I found Saints I question not but in your own experiences what hath been declared will be more cleared to you by the spirit though I am able to declare them but stammeringly yet these things came plaâ—nly into my spirits and with a mighty fulness that I could evidently say these are the appearances of an infinite God and no delusion praised be the most high my mouth was full of praises and begged of all that
terrors and perplexities and sore plunges I could make a large rehearsall I could tell you much of the sad apprehensions I had of my eternall condition which I have but as it were given you a little hint of my condition in the time of my bonds but my desire now is rather to tell you of my freedom unto which I hasten though I know that these mourning experiences may be of great use to the sorrowfull and troubled spirit that lyeth languishing for want of the light of assurance which God doth see good for a time to conceal from his beloveds that he hath loved with an eternall love which in time be draweth with loving kindness Therfore let not any poor soul despair there is free grace enough an ocean to swallow up not my sins onely but many more a fountain open for all manner of sins be they never so great poor souls you cannot out-sin mercy your sins are finite but grace is infinite do not think that any sin can shut thee out of divine love if it could it would have shut me out for certain I am that no heart could be more desperatly wicked then mine no ones sins could be of a more scarlet dye then mine strong unbelief continually departing from the living God as full of heart hypocrisie as I could hold Oh let sinners admire free grace with me that hath freed me from as stony as seared benummed sensless a condition as any could or can be in hearing or reading or Saints speaking to me was as to one deaf I still concluded my condition to be like theirs the Scripture speaks of that were given up by the Lord to blindness of mind and hardness of heart I thought confidently God had given me to know that I should perish for ever but Gods thoughts at length appeared higher then mine as the Heavens are higher then the Earth and when my Spirit had thus been upon the rack for a season and tossed up and down with the waves of a continual accusing troubled conscience And none spake any word that did in the least measure revive me till that voice sounded that I could not contradict but I did withstand it and repulse it as long as I could and when it spake as a stil small voice I rejected it a week before I felt heard and saw that glorious light and power sounded into my spirit which caused an eccho or answer from my spirit in believing the testimony of the Spirit but that small voice made such a report in my soul which made me to listen it was such a speaking that I had not heard before therefore it was very strange to me the word I had was this Christ is thine and thou art his and no word was spoken to my spirit for six or seven days but this it followed me where ever I went sometimes as I have been going along the streets I have looked behind me thinking I had heard some locall voice a voice without me but sure it was because I was unacquainted with the voice of the Spirit speaking in or to the soul I oft-times turned back when I have been going along the streets to see who it was that spake taking that for visible which was invisible I did not know that I had read such a word in the Scripture that the Spirit spake to me but before my heart was brought over to believing the same power that raised Christ from the grave appeared in destroying that strong unbelief that made me depart from the living God and as in the fulness of time Almighty power brought Christ into the world and into the grave it raised Christ also out of the grave this same power was a hand by Divine appointment leading me through varieties of inward bitter desolations untill it brought me not onely to the gates but into a heaven of sweet consolation Now I shall by the assistance of the Spirit tell the time when my heart was brought to believe the pardon of my sins past present and to come by an act of grave through the blood of the Lord Jesus which I clearly saw by the light of the Spirit bearing witness to my Spirit that Christ was mine and I was his The time the year 1642. the day the first of the first moneth called January it being the first day of the week commonly called the Sabbath day which was indeed a Lords day to my soul While Mr. John Simpson was preaching from that Scripture in the 8 of the Romans the words are these Now if any man have not the spirit of Christ be is none of his Many Sermons he preached from this Scripture and he had shewed that the Spirit might be in that soul that was very dark and much confused in its apprehensions of Christ as he proved from John 14.5 6 7. Thomas faith unto Christ Lord we know not whâ—ther thou goest and how should we know the way Christ in the 4. verse told them they knew whither he went and the way they knew and he tells them that they had known the Father and seen him and yet they said they knew not so that the Disciples of Christ had sometimes a confused knowledge of the Father and yet they had both seen and known so that from thence was proved that many poor souls might have the Spirit as was instanced in many particulars that the Spirit might be in the soul though it could not make it out through that exceeding hurry the soul lay in being still in a confusion its darkness being not dispelled by the glorious manifestation of the light of the spirit sealing it up to the day of Redemption My Spirit was under much trembling for fear it should still be said that I had none of the Spirit which often was a terrible sound within me which I still dreaded and my spirit cryed out to the Lord when this Sermon before mentioned upon that 8. of the Romans was almost ended I said Lord I have the Spirit in this confused manner as I found a witness within me that I had the Spirit in those particulars that were declared but my spirit strongly run out to the Lord for a clear manifestation of his love in Christ and suddenly my soul was filled with joy unspeakable and full of glory in believing the spirit witnessing in that word Christ is thy wel-beloved and thou art his my soul was now full of joy as it could hold now I saw all my sins laid upon Jesus Christ and when he was sacrificed all my sins were sacrificed with him oh what triumphing and songs of Hallelujah were in my spirit I knew not where I was nor how to get out of the place where I sat I apprehended nothing but a clothing of glory over my whole man I never beheld Saints as I did then I saw their faces like the face of Angels Oh what Angelicall creatures did they appear before me full of shining brightness oh what a heart inflamed now was mine filled
the apprehension of my self the greatest of sinners though brought up in the most strictest ways of God according to that light even from my Cradle never given to any licentious ways as I could say much to this purpose when I came to look on God as a consuming fire But I shall forbear to set forth the dealings of God with me before and after Conversion and in Conversion which my Conversion was four years ago wanting about a Quarter of a year and for a year I may say I lived in the Regions of Heaven being always rejoycing and praysing God but since that many Clouds of Darkness hath passed over my Spirits But to speak of the late dealings of God with me about half a year before my sickness my Spirits groaned after the pourings forth of the Spirit that so there might be a greater perfection break forth in my words thoughts and actions The Word perfect did much seize upon my spirits but the more I sought for it the further off it went to my apprehension God was at a distance from me yet in the greatest darkness I had the light of Union but my soul breathed after Communion with my God that though when I was among the Saints Enlargements were given in Yet when I was separated from them and thinking to have Communion with God alone my mouth hath been stopped and my spirits in a Prison not able to speak to God because God spake not to me For the Creature cannot speak till God speaks but I still thirsted and my soul panted as the Hart after the water brooks And the nearer the time of light grew the thicker I apprehended the Cloud But praised be my Father that hath wrought a deliverance in me for me a stregthening of the Inward man in decaying of the Outward I cannot but say a sickness but it was no more then a bodily weakness and though a great weakness and extream pain took hold of my body all pain and distemper was removed from my spirits in a moment The beginning of my distemper of body was about the seventeenth of June 1646. And from that time it waxed more and more upon me but I strove against it as long as I could and went abroad till the latter end of the forenamed moneth about the twenty eighth day I took my Chamber the feverish distemper growing still stronger and the beginning of July which is so called on the first day of that moneth which was the fourth day of the week in the morning I had thoughts to go forth thinking the Feaver had been wearing away but on a suddain that morning a great extremity of pain seized on my body that as soon as I was out of my bed I was fain to lye down again and it was in much pains and great heaviness of spirit and a rending of heart so that I watered my Couch with my tears and I lay very heavy in spirit all that day and much pained in body and by that time night came my strength of body was quite taken from me so that I could not help my self but friends were fain to help me into bed and assoon as I was laid I felt the knot unknit and the heaviness of my spirits removed and darkness expelled and Sathan fled and corruptions mortified and all distempers of spirit disbanded that now instead of a Chaos of Confusion a Fabrick of Glory was set before me And my spirit was so drawn forth in a view of God so much glory was presented before me such Visions of the Eternal God that tongue is not able to express the Raptures were so great that I was not sensible of a body whether in the body or out of the body God knows But these discoveries were as coals of fire within me which could not be kept in and these pourings forth of love had in them such a heat that it melted my frozen spirits which caused my eyes to drop tears that though in the morning my spirits were rended at evening the Son of Righteousness arose with healing in his wings and uttering his Voice telling me he was my beloved that would not leave me and thus renewing of my former Evidences I had from Scripture when the power of God enabled me to believe for my free Justification in the Lord Jesus and also giving in immediately from himself in Scripture Language as thus I am thy father that hath pardoned thy iniquity for my own names sake and I will never remember thy sins against thee any more for I thy God change not but rest in my love and rejoyce over thee with joy and singing as it is written And thus the Lord told me that though I had been as an untamed Heifer like Ephraim in my thoughts and words yet his bowels of love were not straitned towards me but he looked on me as one of his beloved ones in the Lord Jesus This speech from God came with a mighty lustre beyond what I am able to express and that Scripture mixed with it Hos 14 I have healed thy back-slidings and loved thee freely and I lay not this weakness on thy body to upbraid thee because thou hast lived so long in the flesh and walked so little in the spirit but this weakness on thy body is that the power of thy God may be made manifest And I saith the Lord wil teach and instruct thee and inform and reform thee by this my visitation which is in my love to thee and the Lord was pleased to tell me the reason why my reproofs took so little effect on the Saints that it was because I did not tell them of their faults in a way of love and in the meekness of my Saviour and he sweetly informed me and told me for the future how I should speak to the Saints and God â—lrried me out all the time of my sickness to speak suitable unto persons according to each conditions And thus God came in the first night the flood of Divine excellency shined down mightily that some Saints standing by me could not but conclude that certainly I was going out of the body thinking that ere long I should be in enjoyment of what I saw expresly flow from the Spirit which to them it appeared so glorious that they were amazed that stood by me and that night I still continued speaking or rather the spirit in me And the next day I was desirous to be out of the body I longed to be dissolved and while I continued pleading with God to be out of the body entreating to go hence that so I might be swallowed up in glory lest continuing in the body I should act in the flesh and so dishonour my loving father and in the midst of this and many other requests to God this Scriprure was presented Hosea 6.2 which voice was from God my thoughts not being on it nor none speaking of it but God alone it came thus after two daies I will revive thee and the third day
have but spoke a little of that I have been tyred so that I told them to speak of my body was but lost time but if they would hear of Divine things I was free from them I moved in the right sphear and was in my center it was my delight to tell of the unfoldings of God for as I told them it was my desire to spend and to be spent for the Lord Jesus and when they desired me to take to creatures I answered them I would but I could not they wished me to take the advice of the Physician I told them I had not faith to make use of him and whatever is not of faith is sin and besides I told them I could not get down any thing my stomack was so weak and closed up many arguments they brought to me but God gave in answers to all of them but after thus speaking they were about to go away and not to praise and pray with me but there was such an earnestness stirred up within me to entreat prayer that I never desired any with that eagerness and fervency of spirit to pray as I did Mr. Greenhil though he told me he would but that it would weaken my Tabernacle and he said the waters many times arise so high that they wash down the banks yet I could not let him go till he had joyned in praises with me and prayer for me and to me it appeared such a prayer of faith that I never heard him pray so and when the Spirit breathed in him for my recovery he said Lord strengthen thine hand-maids perswasion no sooner were these words gone forth which I am sure was from the Spirit and it was the purpose of God at that time to seal to that which was before spoken therefore God so stirred me up so to desire prayer because that was the time of Gods intentions to give me a farther testimony and as the words before mentioned came forth it was stampt upon my spirits in much glory and majesty in these words it is finished be it according unto thy faith then I was confident without staggering that I should recover though I saw no probability in body for that continued still weaker and like earth even the Sent of a dead carcase but God carried me up abundantly in believing that after this I said Friends now I dare not question any more because it is the voice of my God that hath spoken it and no delusion therefore I said I am not afraid to tell the whole world if I could see them that God would raise me up at the time that though the stript me of my strength of body he would restore it to me again even at that night as I said before God making it out to me by Scripture and after sealing it to me But to tell you how I was that night after Mr. Greenhil was gone about the ninth hour that night an extream pain seized on me and my throat was very sore and a swelling in my mouth which even stopt my breath and Satan violently seized on me tempting me strongly that my breath that night might be stopt and I might have a quincy in my throat and death take me away suddenly and then what will become of thy faith No sooner came this attempt though very strongly yet stronger was he that was within me then he that is of the world and God gave me a word to say to Satan immediatly which was this avoid Satan God is true and thou art a lyer it is the voice of my God I have heard and I know it is true and ere morning my throat and mouth was healed then I saw the love and power of God in that but the Fever continued very much burning my body outwardly like a clod of earth cold and yet in great sweats that I have been as in a reaking bath when I have done speaking that I have been removed from one side of the bed to the other yet nothing troubled me neither cold nor heat and it was a time of extream heat to others they could not tell how to endure it it was so faint a time yet I complained of nothing the carryings up of God were such that when company was restrained from me through the tender love of my friends yet I could not but utter my voice such a mighty spirit of prayer was poured on me in my weakness that when none were with me I could not keep silence what the Spirit spake in me as David saies so may I that when I thought to be silent I could not my spirits rejoyced exceedingly to be speaking of what I saw and heard and as I often said O Saints that you did but feel see and tast with me what unutterable joy would you have I could wish you all as I am except my weakness and if I could speak to you as it was spoken to me I told them it would appear far more glorious but it come from men at second hand which is as water running through the channel but it came to me as water out of a fountain that is from one it came not so swiftly into me now it came so fast from me to the astonishment of friends that one so weak not able to sit up in my bed a quarter of an hour but in great pain though they put pillows to keep me up and this was after God had sealed to his own word that I should recover for then I could have waited if it had been never so long and in never such great torture as I told the Saints now I could lye upon a Rock till the time of deliverance come had God set a longer time I could have been content it was such delight to me to wait after the Sealing For still when the tempter would tell me when I laid my eyes together I should be struck dead and when I said I should recover the Devil told me I should not but death should deprive me of my confidence yet no attempts startled me or weakned my faith in the least measure for God was still at hand to deliver Many times Sathan strove to shatter my confidence but as my Saviour prayed for me when he was here upon the earth in praying for all that should believe so he was ready to rescue me upon all occasions both night and day praised be his holy name which told me he would not fail my expectations but according as he had given me faith to believe it should be to me and still my Saviour encouraged me to believe and I should see his glory And the day after Mr. Greenhill was gone Mr. Simpson came he was with me the fourth day after I kept my bed and I told him how greatly God had appeared to me for which I desire to praise the great God and after this Trumpeter in Israel for I could not but give him that title so soon as I saw him come into the Chamber and assoon as he had
may be pleased and this was their envy because I saw their downfal and told of it they could not abide me but that which made them cry out was their Diana Tythe this gain brought to them by the Rulers makes them cry up the fourth Monarchy not that they care for them but it s theirs that they are greedy after and that maketh the Priest take false oaths or do any thing to ingratiate with the Rulers that so they may put into their mouths but their time will not be long I am confident for their horn groweth blunt pointed it will ere long be broken to pieces it cannot last many years for woe and great fury is against them being the greatest enemies Christ hath in England and they make the poor Countries drunk with their Fornication Oh therefore lament and mourn and pray down this abomination and bless God that you are come off from the Adulterers function and take heed of medling with a hoof of that beast any more I believe you never saw nor felt that horn as I have done since I came from London but if as to my hurt the pushing had been I would have been silent I am sure I should but seeing its against the Priestly office and prophetical and Kingly cower of King Jesus I must declare for him and while I have tongue and breath it shall go forth for the fifth Monarchy-Laws teaching and practice Oh let not life be more valued then it shall we think too much for the chiefest of ten thousands God forbid My dear Brothers and Sisters your beloved wives I beg leave to encourage you and to comfort you with my comfortable enjoyments being perswaded they are for your sakes And oh that you may be strengthned thereby hearing of a poor Shrub one of a timerous fearful cowardly nature and in her own concernments no whit valorous the Lord knoweth but as for the Lords concernments I see fierce Rulers and reviling Priests and mocking rude multitude and Swords and Guns do not nor hath not so much as caused the least damp to arise in me but I praise that such a vile unworthy Creature as I should have so much honor inferr'd upon me I never was sure so much in self-loathing and abhorring as now If that the Trial of faith be so precious what is faith it self but what is that object then for whom it s tryed I pray rest on him and abide faithful to the end for I know he will Crown you with Deliverance and Conquest Fight under his Banners he will not forsake you wait for you shall not be ashamed you shall see the end of your faith and your tongue shall say let the Lord be magnified Praise ye the Lord for me and Pray for me a poor silly Creature in whom the Lord is seen I have nothing to glory in save in infirmities Pray that I may not be proud of sufferings I have a base heart but the Lord through Grace maketh me for the present more then a Conqueror Pray that I may continue I dare not say if all deny Christ I will not Yet through his strength I shall not love my life to the death and I have believed therefore have I spoken and I believe and therefore speak and the Lord our God increase our Faiâ—h Amen so be it saith your sister in the Faith and Fellowship of the Gospel Anna Trapnel For the Lords Prisoner at Windsor Castle From the same Lords Prisoner at Plimouth Fort who is to be sent by Sea I do not know when But I am to be conveyed to Portchmouth and the Order saith to the Council and so to be dealt with according to Justice but I know not what their Justice is But I am sure their true Justice shall make them know what it is in due time I am no fearful nor careful as to what they may say and do The Lord and his Council is on my side that shall be my defence for ever To the Church sometimes meeting at All-hallows the Great in Thames-street In LONDON My Dear BRothers and Sisters Grace Mercy and Peace I am perswaded are your companions And it s no small joy to me Neither is it a little matter in my esteem to be taken in and reckoned one of your companions in the sweet and lovely Fellowship of the Gospel And that upon that noble account of Union and Communion with Christ Which Principle you do well to look unto that nothing take it away from you For sure it is a Crown worth the prizing And will and doth make you as a Beakon on a Hill lighted And if this Crown be let go then Antichrists rigid thorny Crown will be advanced by you and I you will put your selves out of a capacity of doing and receiving that good which I am sure this Gospel Principle affords and honors you with But of that I need say no more for I know you are taught of God and being so I know you are not unwilling to be put in mind by your unworthy sister whom I am sure hath a dear honored honouring respectfull love to you in her heart and where-ever she goeth And saying often to the Lord what am I that thou shouldest put me among those children I am melted by loves flame and in the suns thaw and heat I through Grace now write unto you my beloved friends that though your unworthy sister be in a Prison here at Plimouth Fort it s for the matters and concernments of King Jesus Therefore I am perswaded it will be no blemish to your dear Fellowship the which I prize more then my liberty or life If I know my own heart Sure I have cause to bless God for your Prayers for I know I have much benefit thereby Not now only but ever since I saw you O my friends Pray Pray Pray still for her which never ceaseth Praying for you even when my bodily senses sleepeth my Spirit hath Communion with you and for you I never had so many smiles and such constant intimate familiarity with God as since my outward imprisonment O that you were all as I am except my bonds for its a condition worth the high esteem of you all But shall I boast of Visions and Revelations and Faith wound up very high I will not hereof boast But of free Grace I will think and speak and praise and give thanks and let me herein engage you also and Christs love to his friends I beseech you for his sake do not be silent hold not your peace day nor night till Jerusalem be made the praise of the whole earth You have a prise put into your hands lay hold O do not let it go They that draw back the Lord will have no pleasure in He cannot abide tottering frames of spirit He no way approves of a setting the hand to the Plow and falling back again to a lazy idle state they are not like to attain to that stature Scripture speaks of which is better
A LEGACY FOR SAINTS BEING SEVERAL EXPERIENCES of the dealings of God with Anna Trapnel In and after her Conversion written some years since with her own hand and now coming to the sight of some friends they have judged them worthy of publike view Together with some Letters of a latter date sent to the Congregation with whom she walks in the fellowship of the Gosspel and to some other FRIENDS London Printed for T. Brewster at the three Bibles in Pauls Church-yard near London-House 1654. To all that fear the Lord under what form soever who have fellowship with the Father and his Son Jesus Christ The Church of God usually meeting in Great Al-Hallows London whereof Mr. John Simpson is Teacher sendeth greeting SOme Experiences of Anna Trapnell our deaâ— Sister now Prisoner in Bridewel coming to our hands we have perused and considered And although the various and wonderful dealings of God with her soul known to many of us for divers years last past are not herein mentioned as she intended but was prevented by her present troubles nevertheless by our own hearts we judge this small Legacy will be of much price and use to the Lords people And seeing the malice of Satan and hard measure from men have endeavoured to bury her both name profession and if possible spirit in her whilest she yet lives and â—e think leans on her Lords bosom Therefore is this Legacy now administred which otherwise had waited the death of the Testatrâ—x as she fully purposed All we conceive necessary to be said by us concerning the Legacy it self is onely to give our Testimony so far as we have knowledge as our duty to God and to his hand-maid obligeth us to the reality of the Experiences therein mentioned whereof divers of us have been eye and ear witnesses and were with our Sister at several seasons when she was under those particular dealings of God We purposely forbear to enlarge our commendations because we apprehend this kinde of Subject is always best commended by that presence and efficacy of God which he pleaseth to afford and also because we would not in the least degree infringe your liberty to tast and try what spirit and excellency is in it and so to judge freely yet with seriousness as having to do with God therein what entertainment and esteem it deserves we are also engaged by our duty to give you some account of the person by whom this Lagacy is bequeathed who is indeed under much reproach and misrepresentation among all sorts of people and we apprehend we might without offence say made a spectacle to the whole Land being rendred a Contemner of Scriptures of Ordinances and of late as one of a vile Conversation For her present imprisonment at Bridewel if it were not so intended cannot but suggest extream scandal and viciousness touching her to all that hear thereof though we that know her and the cause for which she is laid there are not ashamed of her or it and hope we never shall be which is all we shall now say to that Onely give us leave briefly to impart for your satisfaction what we have known of her for we have had communion with her in the light love spirit and ordinances of the Gospel divers years and to this day also so far as we can obtain it for the restraint she is now under and are able to say in opposition to what she is aspersed with That 1. She hath the Scriptures in very great regard as that holy word which hath flowed from God by men who had extraordinary inspiration and ability to give it forth according to what hath been apprehended among the most sober and spiritual Saints from time to time concerning the same with the excellency whereof she professeth her self much ravished making it her business to study and to live in the power and spirit of them whose profession and principles having suffered many assaults and temptations herein she remains exceedingly confirmed in her perswasions of and love to the truth holiness authority and precious usefulness of the Scriptures 2. She is for the spiritual exercise of all the ordinances of God to the uttermost degree of light she enjoys against Ranters profane Notionists and all sorts of men of scornful opinions to the contrary for which we have not onely her word but her practice with us which doth best express any ones principle And touching the Ministry because in relation thereunto also a very hard sentence is past upon her there is this to be offered in vindication of her that her principle is plain and firm for it and that she doth much love and reverence own all Ministers that enter in by the door and have the true unction her dissatisfaction is onely to that standing and institution which hath been by Bishops it being derived from Rome or such as are evidently after that pattern and that also without the least prejudice to the grace of God in any 3. Her conversation for any thing that ever came to our knowledge we must testifie hath been very beautiful and unblameable exceeding unworthy of those black mouths which have been opened against it and of those injurious hands she hath fallen into We might say much of her tender conscience her sweet meek sober exemplary temper and impartial love to all Saints and also her freedom and desire to have communion with them upon that old large and universal principle of Saintship and union with Christ wherein we know her to be very excellent as some letters of her own which we have thought our duty to make publike will more effectually declare then we are able This short Testimony we have thought fit to send abroad with this Legacy and Letters of our dear Sister for the exoneration of our duty to God to her and to your souls which we would not have indisposed by any hard thoughts that reports may beget concerning the person whose it is to reâ—p the fruit and refreshment which our god blessing may redound thereby Dated the 9. of the 5. moneth 1654. Signed in the name and by appointment of the congregation in the absence of our Teacher by Iohn Proud Elder Caleb Ingold Decon Reader thou art desired before thou readest this small Legacy to take notice of these few faults and mend them which by reason of the difficulty of the Copy being old written and torn have escaped the Press AS in page 15. line 6. for Aninomian read Antinomian p. 24. l. 19. r. the soul is made p. 30. l. 1. for from r. for p. 31. l. 31. for men r. me p. 33. l. 27. for 3 Joh. r. 1. p. 35. l. 8. for words r. worlds p. 38. l. 31. for the 40. of Isa r. 29. p. 41. l. 2. for Ioh 1. 14. r. 14. and 1â— A LEGACY FOR SAINTS SOme experiences of the workings of God in legall convictions and in the time of childhood First When a child then the Lord awed my Spirit and for the
least trespass my heart was smitten and though my godly mother did not see me offend that she might reprove me which she was ready to do being tender of the honour of her beloved Saviour even for the least secret sin that the world calls a trifle though I thought it nothing yet still the all-seeing eye watched my ways and he called to me though I knew him not yet he kept meâ— and his banner over me was love and though my nature was as corrupt as any a child of wrath as well as others and forward to do evill and backward to that which is good yet still I was under the awaking of Jehovah Further when I was about 14. years of age I began to be very eager and forward to hear and pray though in a very formall manner Thus I went on some years and then I rose to a higher pitch to a more spâ—rituâ—l condition as I thought and I followed after that Ministry that was most pressed after by the strictest Professors and I â—an with great violence having a great zeal though not according to knowledge and I appeared a very high grown Christian in the thoughts of many I had great parts in prayer great inlargements and in discouâ—sing and repeating of Sermons I was very forward and did it with great delight and affection and much trembling of spirit was upon me but I was in all this very legall and yet more legall providence ordered that I should hear Mr. Peters speak from those words in the 26. of Isaiah the 20. verse Come my people enter thou into thy chambers and shut thy doors about thee hide thy self as it were for a little moment until the indignation be overpast From these words he opened the marriage Covenant that is between God and his Spouse from that word Come he shewed the sweet compellation of God to his Covenanted people then I was convinced of the excellency of that condition to be in Covenant and to know it upon good grounds which I was very ignorant of and though I thought my self in a very good condition before yet now it seized upon my spirit that surely I was not in the Covenant and if I were I should know it and I still cryed out oh what shall I do to know it without the knowledge of God to be my God I am undone my spirit is filled with horror and the terrors of the Law exceedingly oppressed me and I ran from Minister to Minister from Sermon to Sermon but I could find no rest I could not be contented to hear once or twice in the week but I must hear from the first day to the last and thought that not enough neither and if I had not shed some tears in a Sermon I then went home full of horror concluding my self to be that stony ground Christ spake of in the parable of the sower I apprehended Divine displeasure against me leaving me in a feared condition giving me over to blindness of mind and hardness of heart for ever and when I have been hindred from hearing a Sermon which I desired to hear I have concluded that I might have received Christ in that Sermon which being shut out from I was shut out from Christ that being the time that Christ should have been tendred to me the which I mist and so should be without Christ for ever Such bondage I was under that had I neglected a duty or an opportunity of hearing though a lawfull occasion hindred and I could not be said to neglect yet it sorely seized upon me that I had And I was damn'd one set a part for destruction and I was strongly tempted to destroy my self which had not divine power prevented I had been a murderer of my own life and of their lives that I loved most intirely I have been waked in the night by the devill for this very purpose and directed where to have the knife and what knife I should take these assaults followed me not seldom but very often which made my poor soul and body exceedingly to tremble I was exceedingly hurried to duty to Ordinances so that I could not sleep in my bed was carried one while to draw forth a good condition from marks and signs and if they were not in view then my joy and comfort was gone and my spirit was full of horror love to the godly I thought had been an infallible sign to witness my good condition and my thoughts much dwelt upon those words I Joh 3.14 We know that we have passed from death unto life because we love the brethren Now then I came to examine my love and to compare it to that love which was among the Saints spoken of in Scripture which was not a first evidence neither This prop I was quite taken off from I was now as a cripple when his crutches are taken from him he falls so my spirit was laid flat on the ground and I was convinced that it was the Spirit alone that witnesseth to the creature its good condition and all witnesses were nothing if the Spirit did not witness I was as if I had never heard of a Spirit though I had profest much some years before but because I went about to establish a righteousness of my own as it were by the works of the Law therefore I was left in the dark concerning the righteousness of the Lord Jesus which I thought I had not denyed and if any that were Gospel enlightned Saints had said to me you rest in your good works and expect to be saved some other way then alone by Jesus Christ I looked upon them as doing me great wrong and speaking very false I thought and I would say so to them I am not so ignorant to look upon my works as any thing but I was made to acknowledge afterward that I had let up my own works in the room of Christ and the Lord stript me at last of all gifts and inlargements in duty and I was striken dumb or else fast asleep when I have set my self to pray and it was indeed self that the Lord struck dumb though I then beheld it not but was sore wounded being perswaded that I was for ever shut out from the presence of God which weight I could hardly bear it was so burdensom that I still cryed out what shall I do and all my prayer that was left me was this Give me Christ or else I die Now nothing but a Christ would serve my turn before it I could have had tears or any relentings for sin or inlargements in duty I was well enough but the onely wise God knew it was best for me to be deprived of these which I so much builded upon and made idols of I was as much troubled as Micah was when Israel carried away his God I am perswaded that bare Professors are the greatest Papists in the world spirituall idolatry is the worst and my experience teacheth me that one may be a great worshipper
I will raise thee up and thou shalt live in my sight and with a full perswasion that I should recover but I said Lord this Scripture holds out my resurrection or the restoring of the Jews I was answered it was to manifest my recovery but this departed from me and the glory of God shined exceeding bright and through the sweet odour of the savour of the spirit which Scripture compares to ointment which mightily drew out my love to my Saviour and to the Saints debasing and loathing my self and my love was drawn out to the greatest persecutors of our times I could have lain under their feet to have done them good and many Scriptures were presented and a three-fold interpretation given on them Scriptures never appeared so sweet to me as they did then and as many as the spirit brings to my remembrance I shall relate Further on the Lords day after so indeed it was to me a Lords day in the fore-noon as I lay in the strength of the fever burning very much within but without like a clod and my stomack being shut up not able to take the creatures nor to hear them spoken of my stomack was so weak that all that fortnight I lay and took nothing but small beer a little juice of cherries or conserve of currants I took a little sometimes for cooling of me I did so burn in my throat and stomack I remained thus like a dead carcase in respect of bodily strength but filled with the spirit and as I lay on the said Lords day this Scripture came in with a very great strength in the middest of Divine contemplation it was spoken this second time after two daies I will revive thee then I was drawn forth to ask of God his mind to his hand-maid from that Scripture and my request was thus answered one day with me saith the Lord is as a thousand and a thousand as one day but then I said Lord reveal the meaning of two daies and it was presently given in the two daâ—es are two weeks after two weeks I will recover thee a perswasion came in with great confidence in believing that at that season God unloosed the bands of my spirit he would unloose the weakness of my body though contrary to reason it was even that night two weeks that my soul was set at liberty that my body should be healed and God spake thus to me did I not tell thee I would work a wonder in Israel and did I not say unto thee if thou wouldst believe thou shalt see the glory of thy God these Scripture languages were spoken to me in the spirit encouraging me to believe though the body should grow weaker as it did afterward and after the second appearing of God I desired rather to be out of the body then in it and when I breathed forth to God how I should live in the body it was answered me to the glory of thy God is not my grace sufficient for thee and art thou afraid to live in the body for fear of the strength of corruptions Sin shall not have dominion over thee for thou art not under the Law but under Grace and through the strength of thy Saviour thou shalt be able to conquer all thy enemies and get the victory over the greatest Giant-corruption and temptation therefore be not faithless but believing it is for my glory thy recovery then I said Lord do with me what thou wilt if thou beest glorified in it whatsoever thy servant suffers it matters not when the Lord told me of that glory he would have in my recovery my spirit was satisfied in urging it to God any more to take me out of the body Now I looked for a further unfolding of God in this thing now I knew it should be further sealed to me but I knew not the time when God would seal it to me so that when my friends desired me to settle things concerning outward affairs nothing but death being expected and feared by them and to my own sence and feeling and yet believed otherwise and I desired my friends to wait a while for I told them I believed a recovery and â— told them upon what grounds but I bid them be silent for if God had a purpose to take me hence he would reveal it to me but I told them surely I should be raised here by a mighty power for I knew it must be a great power to raise up one so dead in the body that could not rise out of my bed all that fortnight but as five lifted me out one night and I was so extream earthy even as lead that they had much ado to lift me into bed again and I slept not but talked night and day the pourings forth of the spirit was such when I did slumber and that was but little but then I felt my pain and weakness very much now the greatest extremity did not affright me though sometimes my bones hath been shaken in my flesh my joints unloosed and sometimes great pains as if my bones had been pulled asunder such torture hath seized upon me and sick fits that the parties which watched by me hath bowed me double to keep breath in me when I have been cold and my breath cold within me and to sence a breathing out my last breath so that my friend that watched with me desired to call other friends but I intreated her to wait much ado I had to speak yet at that instant God told me my breath should be given me and the vitals of my spirits restored that were sinking the Lord gave me faith to believe and I found at that time the power of the most high And the next day about the same hour I had an extream fit of shaking to the amazement of those that stood by and I desired a friend to raise me up in the bed and as she held me she askt me why I shook so I told her the earthly Tabernacle must be shaken and God would lay it lower before he restored it that so his power may be made manifest which he spake of at the beginning of my weakness and this extremity came on me after the second perswasion given me by my God from that Scripture spoken of which came to me on the first day of the week On the third day of the week the Lord sent me Mr. Greenhil Minister of Gods word who assoon as I beheld I could not but say behold the man of God such joy was in my spirits which I could not but utter forth when I saw the Saints I was mightily filled with rejoycing and after I had declared those Revelations given into my spirit to this Minister of God and other Saints that were then by and the Spirit came with such a mighty gale upon me that though I desired to be slow to speak and swift to hear yet then I could not when they desired me to tel them of the distemper of my body when I
praised and was gone I was troubled that he did not more question me and bring arguments against me for trial I know true gold is made more manifest by the touchstone and it is more purified in the Furnace and appears from dross But to tell you of the second coming of this Embassador of Christ now I beheld the Spirit of God moving in him to speak in a soul-searching manner though he told me I might be deluded and also telling me that many had been deluded and he therefore Exhorted me to have a care that I believed upon good grounds and told me I might make use of the means and partake of the creatures and to look up to God to give me sleep many Exhortations and Examinations he used to me which I much rejoyced in for my faith was the more confirmed and while I was upon the Tryal God came in with a mighty strength telling me that I was not deluded but he would raise me without means by his mighty power as he did Lazarus out of the grave at my first sickening I did use the means I took things but they did me no good I was the more tortured and felt my self the worse because God came not in the means it took no Effect God had a further work to shew to his people And the Lord bid me tell these things in Gath and publish them in Ashkelon fear not saith God to tell it to the greatest Monarch of the world if thou beest called to it For I thy God am with thee And I saith the Lord will strengthen thee in all difficulties that thou shalt meet withall But now I shall tell you Saints how God presented himself to me in many similitudes which I never heard mentioned before by any they were brought immediately from God and Scripture presented that I never took notice of before and God sweetly interpreted them to my spirit God first filled me with contemplation about the Trinity which was sweeter then the hony and the honycomb to my spiritual pallat it came in such a Majesty to me that I am not able to set it forth it swallowed up my spirits But in desiring to declare it to the Saints this similitude of a Tree was set before me God the root his Son Christ the Tree the Spirit the Sap and as the Root and Tree and Sap are but one in a natural sence for the Sap and Tree looked on in the Root there is but one substance which lies hid till such time as it puts forth it self in a Tree and then the Tree appears but it is covered with a Bark or Rinde and the Sap is discovered running from the Root through the Tree into the Branches which Sap is not so discovered as when the bark is peeled off the Tree yet then it cannot be discerned in the nature of it So the Father Son and Spirit are one in that glorious essential incomprehensible Being making themselves forth in thee 3 Joh. 5.7 God lies hid in the Root man is not capable to know what he is no more then man is capable to know what sweetness is in the Root of a Tree while it lies hid till it appear in the Tree and Sap so when this one God appears in the Tree the Lord Jesus then his sweetness begins to break forth and is made forth more by the Sap the Spirit But I desired the Lord to shew me this similitude by Scripture in which he opened the Trinity by way of Root Tree and Sap God is said to be love and he that dwelleth in God dwelleth in love So that from this God appeared as the Root of mans happiness being infolded in the first person in Trinity from Eternity by this Root which the Scripture calls love the first glorious person in Trinity appearing in the second person the Tree But how is he called a Tree in Scripture It was presently presented before me that he was that Tree spoken of in Paradise that Tree of life Gen. 2. But how may the spirit be called sap from Scripture Thus it is called a holy anoynting it is compared to Oyle To the Oyntment Psal 133.2 which was upon Arons head and ran down upon his beard and so to the skirts of his garment And from the word Oyl or Oyntment so the third glorious person in Trinity is likened unto sap and thus it appeared to me that as the sap runs from the Root through the Tree into the branches so the Spirit the holy Oyle runs from out of the Root which is the Father through the Tree which is the Son into the Branches For so the Saints are called in Scripture Branches of the Vine Christ Jesus and as the Sap drops into the branches and twigs of a Tree which causes them to live and appear green and the efficacy of this Sap produces fruit it is very Vertual it descends of its vertue into the leavs which else would wither as for instance in the fall of the leaf when the Sap returns into the Root the leaves wither and fail And as there is a Vertual Union of the Root Tree and Sap and Branches and Fruit and Leaves so there is a glorious Union and Congruity that the Saints have in the holy Trinity their life is in the Root and it appears in the Tree and manifested by the Sap to the Branches the Elect appear dead till the Spirit which is the sap quickneth them and no fruit is brought forth though they may have a profession yet it is but as dead leaves which falls and crumbles to dust So that from the spirit slows sweet waters it produces sound fruit it makes also professors green and lively and as when the bark is pilled of the Tree the Sap is more discerned so when the humanity of Christ is taken from the Saints view then the spirit was more discerned Therefore says Christ it is expedient that I go away that so you may have a fuller sight of the Spirit He that believes as the Scripture hath said Out of his belly shall flow rivers of living waters this spake he of the spirit which those should receive that believed that was not yet given because Christ was not yet glorified this Scripture appeared very glorious to me and I set the efficacy of it on my spirits and God told me that the time was not yet far off ere he would pour out his Spirit upon his Children and take away that skin of formality that hath lain so long upon their sights and that drowsiness or sleepiness of spirit that hath seized upon them and baptize them with the holy Spirit which should break forth as fire among them so that they shall be filled with the Song of the Lamb and they shall behold their King of Salem which is King of peace riding on his white horse of Triumph Conquering and to Conquer The Saints shall overcome by the Lamb by the word of his testimony Thus mightily God came into my spirits which was
exceeding sweet to me which caused me to Exhort the Saints to study the Trinity more of which one thought is more worth then ten thousand words And further I shall tell you Saints in other Scriptures how God did present himsef as concerning Jacobs ladder as it is written In his sleep he saw a Vision a Ladder set upon the earth the top of it reached to heaven and he beheld the Angels of God Ascending and Descending on it and behold the Lord stood above it and this Mysterie was held forth in it the Ladder signifies Christ a Saviour the top reaching to heaven and from those words the Lord stood above it and it reached to the earth in that the humane nature of Christ was presented the Divine nature assumeing to it self flesh and whereas it is said the Angels of God Ascended and Descended on it in that was held forth the sweet recourse the Saints have in Jesus Christ in his Death in his Resurrection and Ascention to glory This appeared very sweet to me but I cannot set forth things so fully as they came in and God in the night set before me Sampsons Riddle of the Lyon and the hony out of the eater came forth meat and out of the strong came sweetness By Lyon is meant Christ who is called in Scripture the Lyon of the Tribe of Juda and by Honey is meant that sweetness that lies wrapt up in Jesus Christ considered as a Lyon yet full of sweetness And as it is said out of the eater come forth meat Christ is that eater which eats up the spirits as David said the Zeal of thine house hath eaten me up and the word might set out that vertue which comes from the Lord Jesus which is the bread of life in which we have life for ever and out of the strong came sweetness that is out of the Lyon of the Tribe of Juda flows all our sweetness and raptures of joy and as Sampson told them Except they had plowed with his Heyfer they could not have found out his Riddle So the great God spake to me in the whisperings of his Spirit and said in believing in my son Christ which is typed out by an Heyfer and Plowing may signifie believing that in believing in thy Saviour thou shalt understand my secrets God I may say spoke to me as a man speaks to his friend but in a far more transcendent manner and Ionathan spoken of in the 1 Sam. 14. it came thus to me that though he was so faint that he climbed on his hands and feet and his eyes were dim with faintness and no sooner had he taken of the hony that dropt out of the rock but his eyes were enlightned so as soon as there is a distilling from that rock Christ upon the spirits then it tastes such sweetness which strengthens the fainting spirits and this was that which made me say oh come Saints taste and see did you but know what I feel you would admire with me oh how strong am I in the Lord and in the power of his might When I have closed my eyes thinking to sleep they have on a sudden been forced open and upon the Sun shining in the room this was declared to me seest thou how the Sun shines in beams and streams accompanied with shadows and I said Lord why doth it not shine as in the body of it why doth it not shine so on the Earth as in the Firmament It was answered me should it shine on the Earth as it is in the Firmament it would suddenly burn up all things on the earth no fruits of the earth nor any creature could live or breathe and therefore that it might be for the comfort of the fruits of the earth and of all creatures it was spread forth in the beams and streams of it so the Lord said to me should I thy God dwell in thee as I am in my essentiall glory thou couldst not breathe in the body but immediatly thou wouldst dye in the body it could not bear such a weight of glory therefore I shine on thee on beams and streams of glory which produces those effects spoken of in Scripture I was filled with joy now I knew not wherefore God spake this to me till a while after I was going to speak of it and this voice came to me This was brought to thee for the rectifying of thy Judgement the erring spirit shall come to understand Isa 29. last now I considered how I had erred in that I had held forth before I sickned that God dwelt essentially in his Saints when I considered in Scripture where it is said God in us and likewise when I viewed Gal. 5. which holds out the fruits and operations of the spirit I was at a loss in my spirits concerning this nor could not make it out nor be convinced by any till God satisfied me and so in many other things none could give me light till the light of lights came and then my spirit was full of praises Another time when I laid my self to sleep something as it were pulled me by the shoulder with this voice it is better for thee to wake I will shew thee thy Saviour in the Mount then was set before me Jesus taking up Peter and Iohn into the Mount and his transfiguration before them which to me shined forth very glorious that I said as the disciples said Lord it is good to be here and that of Moses and Elias appearing in that was presented to me the glory of the Law of Moses and from Elias was discovered the glory of the Prophets and both these glories meeting in the glory of Jesus Christ Oh how this did enamour the spirits of the Disciples and herein they manifested the strength of their delight in saying And let us build here three Tabernacles one for thee one for Moses and one for Elias it was with them as it is with a man that delights and affects a place he desires to take up his abode there so the Disciples would fain have been continually beholding that glory but while he yet spake a bright cloud overshadowed them and behold a voice out of the cloud saying This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased hear you him The soul wrapt up in the glorious discovery of the brightness of God would fain be always in that condition but that God seeth it good to draw a cloud to overshadow them a cloud but not a thick black one but a bright one which noted thus much That let the greatest discovery of glory which caused the face to shine be withdrawn God doth not leave his without glory though in a cloud yet there appears brightness and a sweet voice telling the Saints that they shall hear and see that invisible glory sounded forth in the Son by that word hear ye him now we see him as in a glass but we shall see him as he is when we shall be lifted up for ever above all
came nigh me to praise that had the spirit of praises and still I was entreating the Saints to speak sweetly and gently to all persons that they might appear to be the sheep of the great shepheard Christ I told them how it bâ—came Saints to be of a meek spirit and I was not ashamed to confess that I was by nature of a contentious perverse spirit which I now loathed and every proud thought was an abomination to me and I told the Saints they were to look up for strength to walk as people of another Nation that it might be said they are the people of the living God who have the mark of God in all their actions Now friends I shall tell you once concerning my raising from weakness to strength from pain to ease and that both to the amazement of my self and those that were present with me but oh that I might never forget to praise the Lord not only in word but in my holy conversation in all these discoveries that have been related my body still grew weaker and weaker and the Sent of dead souls turned out of the grave was still in my nostrils and my body like unto a clod of earth and pain working up to my heart the day before my recovery one Captain Harris prayed by me and in that prayer I was mightily strengthened in believing and could not but say Lord why may not I be raised now And answer was suddenly darteâ— into my spirit I the Lord can raise thee now but thou shalt be raised at that time that thy God hath given thee to believe Oh how sweet was this answer in my Spirits that though I had a desire then to arise and I strove to list up my self yet I could not for the Lord told me his time was not yet and untill the day of deliverance came I was not onely weak and sick in body but my spirits were very dead not activity or liveliness in them all the forenoon but in the afternoon this Scripture was handed by my father to me why is thy soul troubled why is thy spirit sad within thee Believe in God believe also in me John 14.1 in this I was mightily refresht and my spirits quickned and faith much strengthened not that unbelief did seize upon me at any time after God had sealed these things upon my spirit though Satan told me that at that instant I believed I should recover my breath should be taken out of my body now it did not fear me God still perswading me that his power should be made manifest but I still grew to the earth my body waxt very cold and in clamy sweats that those that had been present with persons when their breath departed from them they could not imitate or liken me to any other but a dying person to my own feeling and sence my hands were dead and the rest of my body very liveless my breath to my own sence was even departing from me this was about six or seven a clock that night then I was raised and suddenly God poured a mighty spirit of prayer upon me that I felt my breath which was taking leave of my body heated and I pleaded with God in believing for the accomplishment of his promise and Abraham was set before me his faith strong though he saw no sacrifice he believed God would raise an Isaac out of the ashes so God carried my spirits up contrary unto sence and when the spirit of prayer was off me then god instructed me what to say to the Saints that stood by quivering and fearing not being able to see this accomplished by the eye of faith it being very contrary unto sence and when the spirit making use of me had done incouraging the Saints telling them they should surely see the work of the Lord and after thus speaking I fell in a trance in which I saw the glory of my Saviour exceedingly but I cannot speak what I saw and this lasted about a quarter of an hour and when it began to wear away this voice was given into my Spirits I say arise walk and praise me set forth my glory this came with a mighty strength that I felt strength given into my limbs that were deadest first revived and a song of Hallelujah sounded into my spirits saying now sing praise unto the great God and to the Lamb that sits upon the throne and great joy came into my spirits from the holy Spirit and no sooner did God say arise walk but I was lifted up by the power of the most high God from my bed and I called for my clothes all pain was ceased the Fever left me and I put on my clothes and as soon as I came out of my bed death pangs seized extraordinarily upon me my heart strings were ready to crack and I was even sinking a swiming in my head being very great also and my spirit suddenly was drawn forth to say Lord wilt thou now nullifie the work and shall thy hand maid now be deserted and the Lord answered me am not I thy strength and I found strength immediatly and could walk about the room without fainting or any body to help me and my stomack was opened that I could let down broth which before I could not and I continued up till midnight praising God with the Saints and after I was laid in my bed I could not shut my eyes to sleep all that night to think that on such a sudden so great an alteration should be made that I could lye down free from all pain and distemper that I felt before and so I grew still every day more strength was given in to me on the fourth day at night thus God appeared and on the first day of the week after which is called the Sabbath day I went abroad to the praise and glory of my father which hath ever since continued my health and I minded thus much in Gods raising of me he doubled his power in recovering me once and again when I began to faint and also the week following God told me I should have my perfect strength which week was the third day instanced in Hosea 6. And thus Saints having an incouragement from the Spirit of Truth to set before your view some of the experiences God hath given into me through his own free love but a creature-capacity cannot contain all the incomings of God I had while I lay in my sickness but being very much importuned by some friends I have fulfilled their desires through the assistance of God in setting forth as much as was brought to my remembrance I being a weak worthless creature a babe in Christ which makes his power the more manifest And now Saints I intreat your prayers continually for me HEre is further added a short discourse written eight years ago weighty and precious for that it pierceth through the veil searcheth into the inside of things and giveth some hint of things now looked for by many but then more
under Captain Fox which is Governour of Pendennis-castle who coming to visit my friend where I am this Ensign Randal inviting me to his house as he did the other friends Fox hearing of it put him out of his place this man hath an excellent humble spirit and of a very good report I give you to understand these several pushings of the horn that so you may not onely have life in your wrestlings but might have it more abundantly striving together in prayer for the day of the Lord Man the devil and Anti-christ hath their day now the Lord make you all sensible of the blaspeming of the Lords coming and raign truly it often makes me tremble to hear and see Christ derided and scoffed at by men that are great Rabbies professors indeed but of the largest kind such as dare lye and revile those that are not of their opinion my beloved brothers and sisters I am bound always to bless God for you and your tender care and dear love to me doth much work up my affections for you and draweth out my whole heart to serve you any way And I knowing the workings of your desires after my welfare the which to understand will be well pleasing to you therefore I need not crave acceptance The Lord whom I serve hath from a child kept me and still doth keep me as a Rememberer of him in his wayes as well as rejoycing and working righteousness and he meets me in all these according to his promise praise free grace for me I intreat prayer and praises abundantly to him whose spirit and eye guided and counselled me hither and is still my safety you would admire divine love with and for me if you knew the lettings down of all might that hath been in me and on my behalf the which is too large to give you an account of by writing but in this little â—ast given to you I know it will satisfie for the present I found the benefit of your prayers this time twelve moneth I being in Satans sore enthraldom which was as a Lion and a Bear to me I shall never forget your labour of love for me then and seeing you were prevaileâ—s then which was manifest even this moneth deliverance was wrought for you unworthy sister but I will bless God for the worthiness of a Christ crucified for me who manifested himself as a safety and Saviour to the utmost now the Lord tryeth my faith by suffering the uncircumcised Philistime to war against me and this storm calls forth prayer afresh for me though this is but a small encounter to the other because my stroke I cryed out was heavier then my groaning and I could not find nor see God any where nor in any thing as a God of love but now mercy and goodness follows me day and night and blessed be his name he is an open treasure-house and much treasure he conveyeth pray that I may walk worthy of his Kingdom and glory Truly my dear brothers sisters the joy of the Lord is my strength he thinketh nothing too dear nor too much for those that are sealed to the day of Redemption we are beholding to Christ who becomes all in all I see every day much leanness barrenness and unfruitfulness in me that is in my flesh there is still strugling and fighting and warring but through faith in Christ I am an overcomer and I am not foyled but the more I see of brightness the more I am filled with self abhorrency and loathing my own ways thoughts Dear friends I intreat an exhortation and advice from you it will much add to my joy I hope I need not use any motive to stir up and draw out your love towards me for I having found it ready to serve me upon the greatest occasion I will not doubt of it now though I am so remote I know many waters cannot quench love and therefore before I take leave of you for this time I shall desire that you with my own soul may be more in the practice of love provoknig one another unto that love and unity which is a perfect bond and fulfiller of the Law it beareth and forbeareth it envieth not it takes up no evil reports against any of the flock it judgeth not rashly it seeketh not her own it surely praiseth for another members enjoyment as for its own Seeing all members make but one body let the same mind be in us which dwelt in Christ Jesus this is the earnest desire of her which prayeth for you without ceasing and salutes the whole Church and rests Your unworthy Sister in the fellowship of the Gospel ANNA TRAPNEL From Tregasow at Captain Langdons near Trurow this 15. of the 2. moneth 1654. A Letter to a Friend Dear Sir I Waited for a fit opportunity and matter still more fuller to present you with and truly matter is so much that now I cannot by writing give an account the Lord hath been a very tender father and hath and doth give me many expressions thereof his provision is much and of the best continually I may say he is more and better to me then my desires for they are scanty but he is fulness and ever since I saw you I have had Rivers of pleasures spiritual kindnesses unutterable but have I any thing to boast in save in Free grace No surely O of Divine love will I make mention who is the same yesterday as to day and so will be for ever it alters not and I find it so but however if I did not yet it hath not so much as a shadow of change in it but the Lord is a never failing portion and I every day have new experience thereof I may well use that admiring speech of Paul Oh the heighht and depth both of the wisdom and knowledge of God his ways are past finding out yet untrodden paths hath wisdom brought out but to whom even to fools and low base vilde nothings and this the wise learned rich knowing ones cannot bear True Scripture language cannot be born in these days the people of this generation vote it down and the cry is amongst all sorts especially the Clergy and that of the refined sort too that cryes away with Christs raign and Subjects we will have our Barrabasses live And shall not hearing and seâ—ing Christ so despised cause us to say with them under the Altar that so many years ago cryed out Come Lord Jesus come quickly Oh now is a time to beg God to work now his Law of the Spirit is so made void and that by those that are frequent in forms and much they plead for them but the power is hated as their actions witness which are sufficient Judges but what can be said to these things God is for the work of the day who shall then frustrate Dear Sir I shall now acquaint you with the tumultuous waves and high billows that rise up in these parts I said when Satan was letting out the noise
then worldly state and dying pomp and withering prosperity and fading gallantry What will they do who takes up spends and wasts away that time which sure is precious Dear friends you probably may hear divers reports concerning me from that false evil spirits raising in these parts and sending their Rumerous sound into those Eastern parts which I know hath grieved many of you though as to the harboring of Reports against me whereby to be prejudiced concerning the work of the Lord in me and magnified by me I am perswaded you will not receive any thing of such like nature which hath the Spawn of Satan in it But I would not vindicate my self were it not for truths sake But however I leave my own particular with the truth who will vindicate it self and me too at the conclusion For the which I am made willing by Divine strength to wait and not compulsively but willingly For I know him in whom I trust will stand by me And indeed he is always with me against enemies within and without what I have suffered since I saw you For the Lord thereby he is still putting on more of that cloathing of humility which my soul exceedingly desires and pray friends do you beg this for me too and that I may not be proud of Sufferings Methinks they are high honors I sure am unworthy to be so honored but O how beholding am I to Christ and his worthiness and to that I look and I know he keepeth me else I should soon depart from him and his ways I stand not one moment but by Omnipotent power And of this he maketh me largely to experience I may admire his love Many ways it hath let out its imbraces I will not fear what men can do unto me for I am not ready to be bound but to dye I speak not a Pauls word but the Lord knows I speak from seeing hearing tasting and feeling that which maketh my heart live And I know that Christ lives in me and the life that I live is by the faith of the Son of God who dyed and gave himself for me and the knowledge of this makes souls active for him not only to honor him in prosperity but to glorifie him in the fires And if any be cast into Prison by Satan either inwardly or outwardly if it be for Christ they shall have great joy and though I could not count it all joy when I was in Satans horrible Pit Yet for that sorrow occasioned by him I have had abundance of joy and can and do account it a choice pearl in my Crown that I am now Crowned with which is freely given to me not only to believe but to suffer and truly this second Prison of Satans is a joyfull one not onely to me but to many spectators My dear brothers and sisters you mourned while I was in that last years Prison But I beseech you rejoyce and be glad that your unworthy sister hath liberty and enlargement in a Prison I should rejoyce to see your faces and enjoy that sweet Communion in Gods Sanctuary but though absent in body I am sure I am not so in Spirit and the thoughts of this affords me great contentment For I cannot say woe is me because I am not in Mesech neither am I an inhabitant in the Tents of Kedar For the Lord is a Sanctuary here as well as in the West and I know if he carry me West East North or South he will not let me fall But if my self or Creature carry me I durst not be so confident My dear friends bear with my boldness for Christ I am sure I have a bashfull nature and as to my own matters I am not forward Do I herein justifie my self I do not but I praise the Lord and our Father that keepeth me whatsoever any besmearings are he washing open Fountain washeth away And I see all thing working for good though I come very short of my duty to God-ward and indeed I may cry O my barrenness and unâ—â—uâ—fulness and that truly for I tail much the expectation of so many showers of mercy in that I am so little in bringing forth fruit But I can say mâ— desires are large Pray then O pray to our Father to fulfill such desires which is aâ—ter much Sanctifie that I may glorifie him in Soul Body and Spirit they being the Lords I would not be my own nor for my own things I would be and be for the Lord intreat that I may hold out to the end notwithstanding all rage or rages I shall give you a fuller account of my demeanor when the Lord brings me to see you which sure I shall do though many seek my life They that loose their life for King Jesus sake shall take it up again and they that cowardly seeks to save it shall loose it I sent you a Letter from the West in one to brother Gardner wherein I desired your Counsel and Exhortation but I have no Answer I believe you do not forget me Yet I am grieved you do not write to me now in my bonds But I am perswaded they are made easie through your Prayer if I any way offend you tell me that I may do so no more but if any are not perswaded concerning the extraordinary dispensation that hath been and is still upon me I am sorry that any should be offended at such Soul-ravishing Sin-subduing Creature-Crucifying Christ-Exalting Ordinance Loving Enjoyments If any of these be not prized and endeavoured after by me then chide me O spare not to reprove me for in many things I offend But my dear friends if Christs eye ravisheth I must sing If he open the mouth it will Pray if the Spirit say come the Brid saith so to and they that hear utter come Lord Jesus come quickly I am taking my Voyage Time and Tyde will not tarry I take my leave Pray for my journey from Portchmouth and for courage to bring me to the Council I have much at the present I bless God Farewell my dear friends I Rest Your Engaged sister in the Spirit and Faith and Fellowship of the Gospel Anna Trapnel Who desires not to be her own but the Lords and his Peoples For Whole Sion she suffers with whole Sion she shall Reign Though unworthy From Plimouth Fort in haste going strait with Captain Kendal a States Ship to Portchmouth This 8 of the 3 Moneth 1654. FINIS