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A53309 The first part of the last wil & testament of Philip, Earle of Pembrooke and Montgomery, Lord of Saint Quintin, &c., now Knight of Berk-shire dictated by his own mouth and took by Mr. Michael Oldsworth, sometime his Lps secretary, and faithfully engrossed : together with all his Lps penitent considerations, (delivered in most patheticall expressions) upon every particular of his goods, catttels [sic], chattels, moveable and inmoveable, that are designed in legacy to sundry particular persons of most eminent and remarkable quality : the second part to the same tune, will speedily be exhibited to publique view, as soon as it can be possibly transcribed by his Lps most devoted honour / Mercurius Elencticus. Mercurius Elenticus.; Oldisworth, Michael, 1591-1654? 1649 (1649) Wing O255A; ESTC R5963 5,661 8

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The first part of the last WIL TESTAMENT OF PHILIP Earle of Pembrooke and Montgomery Lord of Saint Quintin c. NOW KNIGHT of BERK-SHIRE Dictated by his own mouth and took by Mr. Michael Oldsworth sometime his L ds Secretary and faithfully engrossed together with all his L ds penitent considerations delivered in most patheticall expressions upon every particular of his Goods Catttels Chattels moveable and inmoveable that are designed in Legacy to sundry particular persons of most eminent and remarkable quality The second part to the same tune will speedily be exhibited to publique view as soon as it can be possibly Transcribed By his L ds most Devoted Honour Mercurius Elencticus Printed in the Year 1649. To the Reader Reader MY Lord desiring to discover his Charitable and zealous intentions to the world more for president then ostentation and at his last gaspe resolving to breath forth some pithy sentences fit to be committed to posterity instead of proverbs that might speake him to eternity as full of wisdom as worthinesse and honour I here tender thee by his Lordships appointment the First part of his last Will and Testament pray make much of this till the rest is delivered to thee under his owne Hand and Seale In the mean time weigh but each word with heed You 'le thinke his Lordship meanes to dye indeed For by these gifts I find he trusts to merit All th' heaven that e're 's capacity'le inherit Nay in pure love he is resolv'd to show The Parliament the way they all must goe If he live longer 't will but vex the Devil That such a foole should outwork him in evill Nay if he lives but to review this Will The kindnesse on 't his very heart will kill I hope his Elegie and Epitaph After the second part on 's Will shall make you laugh And when we know his qualities and riches I le gage my braine-pan you 'le be-pisse your Breeches The first part of the last WILL TESTAMENT OF PHILIP Earle of Pembrook Montgomery c. I Philip Herbert of the Tilte-yard in the County of Saint James's Parke lying very sick and weak Here Mr. Oldsworth stop'd him My Lord quoth he you should have begun in the Name of God Damme you Rogue why do you Interupt me is' t not too late to begin with him now I han't spoke with him ne're since I used to sing Psalmes in the Kings Chappel some eight years agoe and dost thinke he has not other things to think on besides my businesse I ne're medled with his Will and why should he have any hand in mine Mr. Speaker knows I have more mind to make him my Executor or the Devil take me else I promised him so when he got me into the House of Commons and besides Mr. Speaker has reason to love me better then he because he knows me better the Parliament would count me a Cockscomb to forsake them at last cast and give my Meanes to one that I shall never see for ought I know Mihill I thought th' hadst had more wit then to perswade me to any thing but what I am bound to by Act of Parliament and I am sure there 's ne're a such a word in any of them by my consent or ever shall be therefore pray hold your tongue and let me speake my own purpose and do you write it down right or wrong when you lye a dying as I do if you 'le teach me to Write I le do your will to your mind But yet in perfect health and memory do make and pox confound these hard words prostitute this my last Will and Testament and hereby doe invoke and make voide all other Gifts the Devil a one I remember Grants Conveyances and mine were never cleanly ones for when I jugled my self out of one House intoth ' tother all the Towne tooke notice of my shuffling under board Wils and Testaments whatsoever Oldsw ●●●me● my Lord you must say Former Wils ●emb Why did I ever lye a dying a●●●e you foole you won't one Will serve turn you woo'd have me hang'd for making a new Letanie of repealed wils and Testaments woo'd ye Imprimis I give and bequeath my best pack of dogs Oldsw My Lord do you remember what to do with your soul and body first Pemb. Vengeance dam ye for a confounded Cur I could find in my heart to dash a pispot in your ugly face so ye'd serve me an I were at praiers but I 'le see ye hang'd before I 'le try ye Can I tel who shal have my body or soul either Have I been Master of my self e're since I was born Did not I pawn my soul and salvation too long since to the King though I ne're hop'd to redeem it when I was made his turn key And did not the Parliament get it out on 's cluches into their paws e're they would make me their Potter to carry Packets of Propositions to and again They may do what they wil with 't for my part I ne're made much use on 't because I ne're knew wel what it was For my body I mean to keep it my self as long as I can I 'le give every thing else away to the Devil himself rather then part with my Carcasse I 'me sure my Confectionarie's Bill t'other day came to 100 l. and I 'de fain fatten my kidneys with those sweet meats before I die for fear they grow mouldy I have no mind to feed upon gravel yet an' my conscience the pigmies do and that makes them such dwarfs I 'de rather go to hel or purgatory where there 's room enough for a coach and six horses to turn then be mew'd up under ground where a man cannot swing and Cat but prethee hold thy tongue and let 's mind our businesse for I shan't die in quiet til I see my dogs provided for My best pack of dogs to Oliver Cromwel for he keeps bloud hounds so wel flesh'd and fierce they 're able to tear out the Devils throat I wonder what he feeds with them now ox livers are so dear Item I bequeath two couple of my best spaniels to my Lord of Denbigh for hee 'l stand gazing like a moap'd Buzzard and gape wide enough for a Hawk to shit in 's mouth whil'st a Partridge is upon replinie stoo bird stoo bird O 't is gallant game I wonder whether there be any Haws in Hel an' I thought there were not I 'de send half a score thither a mewing by Tom my Faulkner against I come I shall ne're endure to be idle there Oldsm You left at There my Lord. There rogue what shall I do without thee there Thou must needs make me a speech to carry I' my pocket I 'le con't by the way they say the Devil 's a good Scholar he hope Harry Martin to answer the Scots papers and make the Declaration of Non-Addresses to His Majestie They say his Secretarie pen'd that pithy Oration that Bradshaw made before the