me proud To have it thought not said I am alow'd To have the favour of your common rooms Which never is deni'd to meanest Grooms We may have businesse businesse we have had Which none shall know unlesse you make me mad If I in any thing fair Soul do glory It is in this No man can write my story For to my self my self shall still be true And I my self must blast by blasting you Sleep then in peace the world may know my face But nothing know that tends to your Disgrace A just Complaint to his Iust as Honourable Patrones against a Sorcerer that by his Inchantments depraves her humblest Servant of her Grace Madam THere is a seeming Saint that haunts your table Who by his Sorcery and Spells is able To make the staidest man to Bedlam run His company blest Lady timely shun He is a great Magician I 'l maintain it Or else I had enjoy'd a peaceful brain yet My senses had been at mine own disposing But Madam simple as I was reposing In him great trust and confidence I went The other day when he came out of Kent Boldly unto his Chamber when Heav'n knows I little thought he had been one of those That studied as the people call it well That foul Black Art taught by a Childe of Hell I held him for a good plain dealing man But out alas simple Fool that I am He was too cunning for my shallow brain I know not how or where he laid his train But suddainly your Servant was suppris'd And by his Spells and Charms so vassalis'd That as you may perceive by these my Rimes I am stark staring mad at certain times Nor shall it be amiss your patience had To tell your Honour how I first fell mad One night and 't is most true night 's still the Baud To Conjurors and such as practice fraud This cunning man this great Magician sent To call me to a supper whether I went Fearless Heav'n knows and when I came he had For he is curious too a Table clad With Linen white as is the Mountain Snow So clean as I complain'd they foul'd it so For Fowl of every sort on this same cloth He caus'd his Servants set some swome in broth Some dabled in such sauces as might make The heavyest Fowler swim such Fowl to take And rather venture drowning in that Flood Then lose the Fowl that was so fat and good There wanted not Anchovies and grand saliets In fine things were prepar'd to please our pallets But then before my Ears he would take up This subtill man calls for a swelling Cup Of unctious wine wine proud of its own wealth But prouder far when 't was baptiz'd your health Here is quoth he and then his Beaver cast On ground health to those Souls I came from last Health to the fairest sweetest chastest soul That ere was mentioned in such a Bowl The blest Honora Goddess of Sommerhill He drinks it off and bids his servants fill Untill the blushing grape was seen to swim Like a high tide above the silver brim Of that blest cup for blest quoth he it is Whilst it contains so blest a health as this I sillie wretch pledg'd him without least fear Of any poyson could be mingled there That done his silver head aloft he rayses As he were proud to speak Honoras praises And like a cunning Orator goes on Mildly till he had gain'd attention First he was sorry tâ—at I did not know you O that I had but wit his art to shew you And then he wishes by some happie waie Your honour might know me then he did play As skillfull Fishers do with wanton trout Tickling me genâ—ly and at last brake out Your daring Muse quoth he that flyes at game Compar'd with her not worthy is of name I would invite to Sommerhill since there Such quarry is such ayr so pure so cleer As you may at one flight much glory gain And thence he rais'd up to a lofty strain Madam of your unparralel'd deserts Swears that you are the Mistres of all hearts And gives a reason why you must be foe Then reckons all the graces that can flow From God or nature and then he beats his breast Angrie he could not as he would digest What he conceiv'd into such lively phrases As might ornate and beautifie your praises Then calls for wine and still sweetens the same With blest with faire with chast Honoras name Thus first he rais'd my heavie leaden braines Next wilde fire throwes into my frozen veins And still as he perceiv'd my heart to sink He rous'd it with your praises clad with drink Thus he the cunning Gipsie Madam acted Till with your fair fames love I grew distracted On him then best of Ladies lay all crimes That can be found in these my frantick rimes â— need not name him Madam guilt alone 〈◊〉 time will make himself make known â—or if you marke him like a polliticion The better to avaid sharp-ey'd suspition This man will be the first that will appear â—o speak my praises in your honours ear â—hich if he doe heaven pardon that offence â—â—nce I to merit plead my innocence â—y accusations done and now againe â—e thinks a certain tickling in my brain â—akes me break loose new spirits do possess me â—nd to the Court again I must address me 〈◊〉 best of Ladies do not scorne to grace â—y humble Muse in her wits wild goose chase To the truly honourable the Lord Paulet Marquess 〈◊〉 Winchester My noble Lord OFt have I blest that night that hour in whicâ— You two one pair of sheets joy'd to enrich As then you marshal'd were great Lord by thoâ—â— Your Virgin Bride that nuptiall night had choseâ— Those Ceremonies to prepare so now The selfe same Herauldries proud to allow Your faire Bride first with her chast limbs to bleâ—â— Those sheets which witnes'd that great happinesâ— Your chast wife now most honoured Lord as 〈◊〉 In your Bed now I marshall with my pen Can your best wishes noble Lord aspire To greater happiness then to ly by her Had Phaeton seen her in his height of pride Blushing to see a man ly by her side Ambition had his blood to Ivory turn'd And by the sun his wings had ne'er been burn'd Noe he had shun'd those flames that melt the skieâ— And sing'd his feathers in her brighter eyes If then high heaven can add to what you havâ— Let it be done so prayes your unknowne slavâ— To the same noble Lord again WIthin a Savage Rock there once did grow As fair a diamond as the world could show This rich rocks head though many lords did crave it Set it in gold and to your Lordship gave it And happily for some few years you wore it Till sullen nature forc't you to restore it For 't was her master piece and she resolv'd To keepe it by her till the world dissolv'd One only spark Heav'n caus'd her leave behinde That still that Iewell might
keep thee that thou wert wont to keep For thy revenews and thy penny rents Are all forestall'd by Cittizens extents Then as I said good unthrift let it be Thou once kept house now let the house keep thee To a great Lord that upbraided his Servant with Poverty YOur Lordship did object upon a time My poverty against me as a crime You blamed me that I borrowed had of those Who to your knowledge were my greatest foes It had been nobly done Sir to relieve me Rather then with my wants and Foes to grieve me But in distress give me a foe that lends Before a thousand faithless fruitless friends To his reconciled Enemy YOu were my enemy so went the cry But your late actions hath given that the ly You are my freind profest nay you have sworne it And but I know it reall I should scorne it Let all back-biters then henceforth be Mute Freinds by their workes are knowne as trees by fruit He that shall speak me faire and loves me not Calls for the reckoning up but payes no shot Give me the man that smoothly steals away Uses few words but leaves me nought to pay Let those that envie this our frendship know That I much more to you then them do owe For you have paid my scores so used me better Then such as scorn'd me 'cause I was a debter Thus by your actions I shall ever prize you Who calls you then my foe I swear belies you Upon a Fool that was angry at his evil Fortune GRaccus at fortune rayls and oft imparts Unto his private friends some evil chance Still wondering that a man of his deserts That fickle whore so slowly should advance Indeed since fortune favours fools so much All wonder may that thy ill fortune 's such Vpon a Fellow that fear'd he should run mad for his Mistresse RAlph is love sick and thinks he shall run mad And loose his wits a thing Ralph never had Take comfort man if that be all thou fearest A groat will pay the loss when wits at dearest Vpon a Highway Thief DIck had two words that did maintain him ever The one was stand the other was deliver But Dick's in Newgate and I fear will never Be blest again with that sweet word deliver Of one that was burnt in the Hand THat fellow there as simply as he stands Hath all the law by rote at 's fingers ends Nay answers one he hath it in his hands For at last Sessions had he not found friends He had been hang'd if out he have not bit it The law 's there to be read as Deverax writ it Vpon a Ladies Tailor turnd out of service having been long her Favourite WHat Monsieur Nit my Ladies Taylor here That she maintain'd for trimming her old gear I heard why you were out of favour put A sour Nitships yard she found was lately cut Then blame her not she had just cause of Ire A childe once burnt you know will fear the fier Then she that hath so oftentimes been served Hath in her old age cause to be afeard Vpon his unkinde Kinred IN kinsman friend of old was comprehended Give me one friend and hang up all my kindred A Gardner and his Wife A Gardners wife that long had barren been Her husband one night thus did make his mone Sure wife quoth he 't is for some deadly sin That this our work 'mongst all the rest alone Is fruitless here 's labor but no increasing Husband quoth she this ground doth want much dressing With that the man a far fetcht sigh sent forth And swore it had more dressing then t was worth A peremptory Gold-smiths Wife A Goldsmiths wife most boldly oft required Of her good man a hundred pound in gold For what use to know humbly he desired For my pleasure quoth she strait down t was tould Take it said he my onely dearest Dear And thus she serves him twice or thrice a year Though he do oft thus for her pleasure pay Yet that he is a Wittall who can say A Courteous Chambermaid DOll often did protest and deeply too Her sought for Maydenhead she would not loose At last her Ladies Son did Doll pursue And wood so well she could not him refuse How now quoth he how can you salve your Vow Why that 's not lost quoth she that 's given to you To one that entreated the Author to write some Verses to a Book that he had going to the Press I Was intreated by a scambling Knight Something in praise of his new book to write I that am ready at each Suiters whistle As others did provided an Epistle But 'cause I did not prayse his work enough He left it out which I took much in snuff But let it pass it hath given me a schoolling I 'l henceforth sooth up woodcocks in their fooling The Author upon his Epigrams MY Epigrams by hundreds I send forth And give them too for nought that 's just their worth If in mouths of gift horses few men look Vouchsafe but so much justice to this book For rather then I 'le sell paper and Inck I'lâ— be a night man though the office stinck To the truly Honourable and antiently Noble Benefactor the Lord Dunkelly Vicecount Tunbridg Vpon the Authors obligations to him An Epigram I Am your Lordships debtor yet who looks I fear will scarcely finde me in your books My name I doe suspect is clearly lost And I for want of payment out am crost Yet my ambition 's still great Lord to mount High in your books I mean of good account In other books where ere I find my name I wish their libraries were all in flame A tradesmans book is worse to me by far Then the black book where psalms of mercie are To read is not enough my life to save Iudgment or satisfaction they must have Their books condemn me yours would me acquit Let me be blotted there in yours fair writ Their great accounts my greatest sorrow is The greater your account the more my bliss Then know your honour cannot please me better Then write me down at large your thankfull debtor To the most deservedly beloved and honoured the the Lady Viscountess Tunbridge Madam WHere should I place your honour if not heer Since 't is as all men know your proper sphear You doe not in your orb so sweetly move Wanting his presence you so dearly love Therefore my judgment humbly thought it meet To place you thus together in one sheet And may those powers that govern death and fate So ty so binde and so conglutinate The holy bonds that hold you now together That neither may lament the loss of either May death and time and fate want power to force Either a separation or devorce Betwixt you and let every new year bring To both your bloods to both your loves a spring May you grow old in nothing but in seeing Your Childrens Childrens Children still in being My orisons are done and Madam now I
flattery hence Such is your now known vertues excellence Like a rich diamond by your own power alone The breath of venom'd tongues i' th ayr is thrown Foule mouth'd detraction you have now struck dumb Envie is silent for the time to come Let me with pardon then great Sir declare How much in these your honours I have share Your now approved goodness to my glory Confirme what I foretold of your Worths story You have most honoured Lord to my great fame Gain'd me from all good men a Prophets name And though my modest joyes were long since born Yet they but learn'd to speak this very morn And with the croud that to your Altar brings Iewells or plate for this dayes offerings I humbly pray they may without offence Supply the place of Mirrh and frankinsence Upon the Altar of your favour throw Those Zealous wishes which from my heart flow As the sun this morn set forth And increases in his growth As it by degrees doth mount In our lengthening dayes account Certain minutes every hower And each day augments his power Even so I humbly heaven desire Your spring honours may aspire Untill they overlook the tops Of all your wishes and your hopes When thus the height of bliss is won Then let them like Ioshua's Sun Not for howers but for ever Stick and thence retire never And may no age an Ecclips see In you or your posteritie Thus he humbly prayes that stands With patience waiting your commands The Second Coppie Vpon reading the former verses his Lordship waâ— pleased to command Mr. Titchborne to goe with the Author to Mr. Atturney Generall to pray in his Lordships name a speedy dispatch of business which the Author had with him at their returne these were made iâ— the presence of Mr. Titchborne and by him sent to hiâ— Lordship to shew that he studied not but wrote freelâ— and wantonly making it a pleasure and no trouble Great Sir I Borrowed Neptun's Trident for an hower Gave it an Indian charge him by that power To dive into each wealthy Chanel where The rich orientall Pearls engendred were He wing'd his feet with Fins seemed to strive With nimble Zeal the Dolphin to out-dive He went and came as swift as wish or thought And tould me Neptunes store house he had sought That he the high archt Rock had undermin'd And searcht the Mer-Mayds Cabinet to finde A Pearl which both in beauty and in wealth Might equal what was once drunke at a health When that ambitious Queen had at a feast The great Mark Anthonie for her cheif guest But all was empty and his labour lost Great Britans Merchants had them all ingrost And they within your Temple should appeare This day to wellcom in this new born year A Negro then I entertain'd that knew Where the unpolisht sun burnt Diamond grew I baith'd his feet in hot and quick desire And sent him to those Rocks that do aspire In their ambitious growth to check the Sun He mad 's return as soon as thought upon Gave me the answer that I had before Great Brittains Merchants had ingrost the store A light heeld Fancie I did then bestride And in conceit upon a cloud did ride Whose long wing dar'd the winds unto a chace And beat the nimble Swallowes in their pace The Persian Looms the wealthy Indian shore For hangings Carpets and for golden Oare I did survey and found it was most true All that was good had been brought thence for you With that my griefs great weight did quickly break The cloud I rode on and I did awake For all this while I was but in a dream Begot the day before by an extream Desire to offer some such sacrifice The which for â—arity might catch your eyes Sleep banisht thus a bright ey'd waxen taper Presented to my view Pen Inck and paper My Muse came dropping in as she had gone That morn to bath her self in Hellicon She forc't me write these humble lines which may Quoth she out live the offerings made this day For Jewells Hangings Plate all fortunes treasure Are but times slaves and vanish at his pleasure Two things alone Immortalize great men And that is Children and a fruitfull pen The first heavens hath provided and you may Create the second if you please this day And from the first of this new years good dayes A Poet make to singe your vertuous praise A great Lady presented the said Lord Treasurer with a silver skreene having these following verses ingraven about it made by this Author at her request YOur vertues like this silver skreen Are known to enterpose between The flameing Eyes of envious fools Till your clear fame their Fier cools Sit then securely take your rest And with this Motto dare their Test Detractions sparks no more dare fly But like these Coals shall wast and dye The same Lady presented his Majestie the Queens Picture in a Square table wrought with a needle so artificially as the most Skilfull Painter could not have better'd it and at the 4 corners were the names of his Majesties fower kingdomes with these verses made by the same Author SHe whose ambitious Genius watching lies With ardent Zeal to catch your sacred Eyes Discovered hath the blessed object where Those stars doe move as in their proper sphere On that she humbly fixt her loyal heart Untill her soul had taught her hands the art By which that objects sweet Idea thus Was made to feast those eyes that govern us If then this zelous offering finde but grace Your fower Kingdoms next you shall give place Unto the Prince Princess Duke and the other Expected fourth Modell their third Brother And thus by Hierogliphicks she aspires To teach her hands to speak her hearts desires Mrs. Sanderson her Majesties Laundress presented a Celler of empty glasses to her Majestie Madam THese little glasses had been sil'd with Iuice Prest from the fruits that grow in Parradice The tree of Life I would have squeez'd and thence My humble Zeal had brought the quintessence Of that as yet untouched fruit and here Have tendered it to welcome in this yeare But gratious Mistres know that I have been At every gate courting each Cherubin Tould them to whom I humbly would present it They prai'd my pardon vow'd they durst not ventur'â— Your Majestie before all creatures living A bottle should have had of their own giving But 't was decreed for Womans first offence No Aqua-vitae should be brought from thence Accept then gratious Madam what I give And if my humble prayers can make you live You shall Immortall be 〈◊〉 â—â—at denyed Since none are so but those that 's deified I shall impâ—â—â—â—ne heaven with my best breath You may transported be and ne'er see death That all the world may know as we believe You are derived from heaven not from Eve Iohn Eliot Finis An Elogie On the Lady Jane Paulet Marchioness of Winchester daughter to the right honorable the Lord Savage of Rock-savage I
be kept in minde You that had found how nature ever locks Her chiefe Treasure either in hills or rocks Knew well the waie your losses to recover For had you search't the spatious world all over To Summer hill aâ—t last you must repair To finde a Iewell full as rich and faire As was that diamond you restor'd to nature You once againe are rich in such a creature As all mankinde how rich so ' e're they be In her may envie your felicity Live envi'd ever noble Lord till Fate The earths whole Fabricke shake and ruinate So heartily and humbly prayes each one To whome bold speaking fame hath made you known To the far fam'd Lady and Mistres of untainted vertue the truly and nobly noble Ladie Dorathy Sherly honoured by being Sister to the most deservedly honourable Earl of Essex Madam NOe matter though you know me not I trust To common Fame she speaks you nobly just Shee doth proclaim your honour such a prize As men would see 't though to their loss of eyes You love the best Honora that aproves What wise men say goodness still goodness loves You are her Sister and your purest blood Sprung from one fountain that concludes you good Be constant to that googness let nought awe you Millions there are that love you who ne'er saw you Amongst those many let me boldly say Madam I honour you a noble way And love you as I love those unseen faces That on the throne of glory take their places And though you know me not scorne not to sit To read then write me what you please but Parasit Let me but in your books fair Saint be found And I with joy and honour then am crown'd A Satyr Vpon a miraculous Marriage made between a Brave Young Viscount and an unworthy Old Viscounts Widow Dâ—d thy strong potions then old rotten Punk So work on Hymen as to make him drunk Wâ—ence comes that drug what Fiend what Fate Perfum'd his brain so to inebâ—iate For doubtless had that God but sober been He ne'er had matcht such vertue to such sin Or did she pawn her soul to some old Witch To get a Lord to cure her hot salt Itch They must be Bawds and Sorcerers that had A hand in such a Crime so foul so bad For sure thy painted Face thy sugred words Could not betray him to thy tub of turds Nor was it out of hope to finde a Mine Within that Dunghill that foul sink of thine For but to mix Mans seed with that thy ordure Were worse then Sodomy much worse then murder What can I call thy common hackney womb But an old beastly painted new ston'd Tombe Barren as is a Grave leprous within As Iudas soul so foul so full of sin So that in my opinion he destroyes Nature it self that digs for Girls or Boyes Out of what mud O Lord what charms what spell What strange Inchantments did she get from Hell That caus'd thee lay thy youth thy blood at stakes In Pledge against a Bog a sink a Jakes Whose throat is like a Tunnel to a vault Nor are her rotten Lungs alone in fault For from her foul corrupted Brain their flowes A deadly poison through her pocky Nose Such as the Night-mans Cart or common Sewer Yields none so loathsome nothing so impure Each Bone she hath is like an Asses hoof So us'd to poyson it is poison proof And if she have a Tooth that justly may Be call'd her own I dare be bold to say That Tooth shall cost her Lord each day a peece In Storax Civet and in Ambergreece Besides the Ulcers in her rotten Gums Not to be qualifi'd with best perfumes Yet with this charge though great it will appear That Mouth holds something nothing can make cleer For if she finde that scoulding may prevail Her tongue soon turns as Monstrous as her Tail And if some difference be this this the worse is Her Tail but monethly shall produce foul courses But that her mouth each minute shall afford Base Excrements that shall out stink a Turd I have disgrest brave Lord but more will come To my promis'd Epithalamium My hearty wishes to your nuptial Bed And wish that to your Bride they might be read May all those sheets wherein you two shall lye Prove Barren as are those in which men dye And may your Lordship want the power to turne To quench her flames of Lust but let them burne Till they consume the nest where they were bred Yet still a jealous eye cast towards her bed Lest her adulterous thoughts to action grow And make you harvest seed you did not sowe A grisly beast such as all others scorn'd A thing with Goatish beard a head well horn'd Your lustful Bride found out and him maintain'd To do that drudgery a Groom disdain'd Be careful then be vigilant and wise He that hath such a Wife needs many eyes An old cunning well experienc't whore Will through the key hole of a double door Let in Adultries Still I do digresse An Epithalamium I do cease This Satyr should have been but my Muse ranges And like your Lordships Bride is full of changes Yet do I not transgress 'gainst all the Laws Of an Epithalamium because Your Lordship shall in time discover this My Muse unto the Bridegroom wishes bliss O may you Sir and quickly too invite This Pen your lewd Brides Epitaph to write Mean while so long as she on earth hath dwelling So long I wish you loose the use of smelling May your desires in their conceptions dye Such as shall tend to Love or Lechery That you may treasure up a stock so great As when you vent it may allay the heat Of seventeen yeers in her that Heav'n shall please To send you in the place of this disease Till when let sleep and pleasing dreams betray The sullen night unto the chearful day And early bring the Sun to let you see Her Morning ugly foul deformity And then with sad relenting may you rise And from that monster thenceforth blesse your eyes May you be deaf unto her cunning Charms And when she throwes her self into your Arms May then the nimble sense of seeing leave you Lest with her false imbraces she deceive you And lastly may you still distrust those things She to your touching smelling seeing brings May all your senses disaffected be Till from that hidious Monster you get free Vpon a Coller and Garter imprisoned in a Brokers Box O Men of might what have you now to brag on â—hall I believe your George e're kild a dragon When in six Months he cannot break the Lock Of an usurious Brokers little Box When thus I find him lodg'd in Long-Lane quarter And by his side a Coller and a Garter As two most faithful Squiers waiting on For the blest day of sweet Redemption Shall I believe that he a Saint can be No your vain boasting ne'er shall couzen me For if an Almanack I buy this year And finde it writ