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ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A57009	The works of F. Rabelais, M.D., or, The lives, heroic deeds and sayings of Gargantua and Pantagruel with a large account of the life and works of the author, particularly an explanation of the most difficult passages in them never before publish'd in any language / done out of French by Sir Tho. Urchard, Kt., and others.	Rabelais, François, ca. 1490-1553?; Urquhart, Thomas, Sir, 1611-1660.	1694 (1694)	Wing R104; ESTC R29255	455,145	1,095

it presently fall to railing and reviling adding after a whole Litany of comical though defamatory Epithetes that course unraung'd Bread or some of the great brown Houshold Loaf was good enough for such Shepherds meaning that the gross Notions of Transubstantiation ought ●o satisfie the Vulgar The Shepherds reply modestly enough and say that the others us'd formerly to let them have Cakes by which must be understood the times that preceded the Doctrin of Transubstantion Then Marquet one of the Cake-Merchants treacherously invites Forgier to come to him for Cakes but instead of them only gives him a swindging Lash with his Whip over-thwart the Legs whereupon he is rewarded by the other with a broken Pate and falls down from his Mare more like a dead then like a living Man wholly unfit to strike another blow These two Combatants are the Controverstists of both parties the Papist immediately begins to rail and abuse his Adversary The Lutheran confounds him in his replys and for a blow with a Whip treacherously given very fairly disables his Enemy This is the Judgment that Rabelais a Man of Wit and Learning impartially passes on the Writers of both Parties If any would seek a greater Mystery in that Grand Debate as Rabelais calls it which term I believe he would hardly have used for a real Fight let them imagin that he there describes the Conference at Reinburgh where Melancthon Bucer and Pistorius debated of Religion against Eccius Iulius Pflug and Iohn Gropper and handled them much as Forgier did Marquet But this Exploit of Forgier being inconsiderable if compared to those of Fryar Ihon des Entomeures or of the Funnels as some corruptly call him we should endeavour to discover who is that brave Monk that makes such rare Work with those that took away the Grapes of the Vineyard By the pretended Key which I think fit to give you after this since it will hardly make up a Page we are told that our Fryar Ihon is the Cardinal of Lorraine Brother to the Duke of Guise but that Conjecture is certainly groundless for though the Princes of his House were generally very brave yet that Cardinal never affected to show his Courage in martial Atchievements and was never seen to girt himself for War or to fight for the Cause which he most espoused besides had he been to have fought it would have been for Picrochole It would be more reasonable to believe that Fryar Ihon is Odet de Coligny Cardinal de Chastillon Archbishop of Tholouse Bishop and Earl of Beauuais Abbot of St. Benign of Dijon of Fleury of Ferrieres and of Vaux de Cernay For that Prelate was a Man of Courage no ways inferior to his Younger Brothers the Admiral and the Lord d' Andelot Besides he was an Enemy to Spain and a Friend to Navarre then he was a Protestant and helped his Brothers doing great Service to those of his Party and was married to Elizabeth de Hauteville Dame de Thoré a Lady of great Quality Pope Pius IV. in a private Consistory deprived him for adhering to his Brothers but he neither valued the Pope nor his Censures he died in England in 1571 and lies interr'd in Canterbury Cathedral having been made a Cardinal by Clement VII at his and Francis I.'s Interview at Marseilles in 1533. I own that what he did for the Protestant Cause was chiefly after the Death of Rabelais and that some have represented him as a Man wholly given to his Ease but Rabelais whose best Friend he was knew his Inclinations even when he composed this Work which made him dedicate the Fourth part of it to him And 't is chiefly to that brave Cardinal that we are obliged for that Book and the last of this mysterious History since without the King's Protection which he obtained for Rabelais he had resolved to write no more as I have already observed And for his being addicted to his Pleasures that exactly answers the Name of his Abbey of Theleme of which those that are Members do what they please according to their only Rule Do what thou wilt and to the Name of the Abbey 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Volontas Perhaps Rabelais had also a regard to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 which often signifies a Nuptial Chamber to shew that our valiant Monk was married thus the Description of the Abbey shows us a model of a Society free from all the Tyes of others yet more honest by the innate Vertues of its Members therefore its Inscription excludes all Monks and Fryars inviting in all those that expound the holy Gospel faithfully though others murmur against them Indeed I must confess that he makes his Fryar swear very much but this was to expose that Vice which as well as many others reigned among Ecclesiastics in his Age. Besides the Cardinal had been a Souldier and the Men of that Profession were doubtless not more reserv'd then than they are now I will give an instance of it that falls naturally into this Subject and is the more proper being of one who was also a Cardinal a Bishop a Lord an Abbot Married a Soldier a Friend to the House of Navarre engaged in its Wars and who perhaps may come in for his share of Friar Ihon. I speak this of Caesar Borgia the Son of Pope Alexander VI. who having made his escape out of Prison at Medina del Campo came in 1506 to his Brother in Law Iohn d' Albret King of Navarre Being Bishop of Pampeluna its Capital he resign'd it as well as his Cardinal's Cap and other Benefices to lead a Military Life and after many Engagements in other Countries was killed being with King Iohn at the Siege of the Castle of Viane which held for Lewis de Beaumont Earl of Lerins Constable of Navarre who had rebelled against King Iohn That Earl having thrown a Convoy into the Castle Caesar Borgia who desir'd to fight him at the Head of his Men cryed Où est où est ce C●mtereau Ie jure Dieu qu'aujourd'huy ●e le feray mourir ou le prendray prisonier Ie ne cesseray ●usques á ce qu'il soit entierement destruit ne pardonneray ny sauveray la vie à aucun des siens Tout passera par l' epeé jusques aux chiens aux chats That is Where is where is this petty Earl By G I will this day kill or take him I will not rest till I have wholly destroyed him Nor will I spare one Creature that is his all to the very Dogs and Cats shall die by the Sword It cannot be supposed that Rabelais drew his Friar Ihon by this Man but 't is not unlikely that he had a mind to bring him in by giving some of his Qualifications to his Monk for there is no doubt that our Author made his Characters double as much as he could as it were stowing three and perhaps five in the place of one for want of Room not altogether like an Actor who

ran to a Iudge who having heard the Information immediately sent to secure Rabelais the Dauphin having been Poysoned some time before so the Doctor with his Powder was seiz'd and being examined by the Iudge gave no answer to the Accusation safe that he told the young Merchant that he had never thought him fit to keep a Secret and only desired them to secure what was in the Papers and send him to the King for he had strange things to say to him Accordingly he is carefully sent to Paris and handsomly treated by the way on free Cost as are all the King 's Prisoners and being come to Paris was immediately brought before the King who knowing him asked him what he had done to be brought in that Condition and where he had left the Cardinal Du Bellay Vpon this the Judge made his Report shew'd the Bills with the Powder and the Informations which he had drawn Rabelais on his side told his Case took some of all the Powders before the King which being found to be only harmless Wood Ashes pleaded for Rabelais so effectually that the business ended in Mirth and the poor Iudge was only laugh'd at for his Pains Though this Story be Printed before many Editions of Rabelais somewhat otherwise than I here give it I would not any more be answerable for its Truth than for that of many more which Tradition ascribes to him When a Man has once been very famous for Iests and merry Adventures he is made to adopt all the Iests that want a Father and many times such as are unworthy of him For this Reason I will omit many Stories which some indeed relate of Rabelais but which few can assure or believe to be true Yet since the witty Sayings merry Triflings and the Accounts of the indifferent Actions of Great Men have found not only their Historians but their Readers from Tully's Puns to the false Witticisms insipid Drolling and empty insignificant Remarks that make up the greatest part of the Scaligeriana and some others of those unequal Collections of Weeds and Flowers whose Titles end in ana we may with greater Reason relate the Iests of Rabelais whose Life as well as his Writings have been thought a continual Iest and this would not s●em to be the Life of Rabelais did not some Comical Stories make a part of it Neither were his Iests sometimes less productive of Good than the deep Earnest of others Of which the Vniversity of Montpellier furnishes us with an Instance None being admitted to the Degree of Doctor of Physic there who has not first put on the Gown and Cap of Dr. Rabelais which are preserved in the Castle of Mo●ac in that City The Cause of this uncommon Veneration for the Memory of that Learned Man is said to be this Some Scholars having occasioned an extraordinary Disorder in that City Anthony Du Prat Cardinal Archbishop of Sens then Lord Chancellor of France upon Complaint made of it caused the Vniversity to be depriv'd of part of its Privileges Vpon this none was thought fitter to be sent to Paris to sollicit their Restitution than our Doctor who by his Wit Learning and Eloquence as also by the Friends which they had purchased him at Court seem'd made to obtain any thing When he came to Paris about it the Difficulty lay in gaining Audience of the Chancellor who was so incensed that he refused to hear any thing in Behalf of the Vniversity of Montpellier So Rabelais having vainly tried to be admitted at last put on his Red Gown and Doctor 's Cap and thus Accoutred came to the Chancellor's Palace on St. Austin's Key but the Porter and some other Servants mistook him for a Mad-man So Rabelais having in a peremptory Tone been ask'd there who he was let his impertinent Querist know that he was the Gentleman who usually had the Honour to flea He-Calves and that if he had a mind to be first flead he had best make haste and strip immediately Then being ask'd some other Questions he answer'd in Latin which the other understanding not one of the Chancellor's Officers that could speak that Tongue was brought who addressing himself to our Doctor in Latin was answered by him in Greek which the other understanding as little as the first did Latin a third was fetch'd who could speak Greek but he no sooner spoke in that Language to Rabelais but that he was answered in Hebrew and one who understood Hebrew being with much Difficulty procur'd Rabelais spoke to him in Syriac Thus having exhausted all the Learning of the Family the Chancellor who was told that there was a merry Fool at his Gate who had out-done every-one not only in Languages but in smartness of Repartees desired that he might be brought in 'T was a little before Dinner Then Rabelais shifting the Farcical Scene into one more serious addrest himself to the Chancellor with much Respect and having first made his Excuse for his forc'd Buffoonry in a most Eloquent and Learned Speech so effectually pleaded the Cause of his Vniversity that the Chancellor at once ravish'd and perswaded not only promised the Restitution of the Abolish'd Privileges but made the Doctor sit down at Table with him as a particular Mark of his Esteem Much about that time hearing with what Facility for the sake of a small Sum of Money the Faculty of Orange some say Orleans admitted Ignorant Pretenders as Doctors of Physic not only without examining but even without seeing them Rabelais sent the usual Fees and had one received Doctor there unseen by the Name of Doctor Johannes Caballus and let the wise Professors and the World know afterwards what a worthy Member they had admitted into their Body since that very Doctor was his Horse Jack or as some say his Mule For if there are various Lections there may well be also various Traditions of the same Passage Though I know that it as little becomes a Chast Historian to launch into large Digressions as to advance Things without good Authorities I cannot forbear mentioning something very particular concerning that very Numerical Doctor I mean Joannes Caballus And that I may not be thought to relate Stories without Authorities I will make bold to quote that of a Book written Stylo maximè Rabelaesano viz. Le Moyen de Parvenir I remember to have read the Story in a less Apocriphal Author but Time hath blotted his Name out of my Memory Rabelais being at Paris and more careful of himself than of his Mule had trusted it to the Care of a Printer's Men desiring them at least not to let it want Water But having perhaps forgot to make them drink they also easily though uncharitably forgot the Brute At three days end the Creature having drank as little Water as its Master a young unlucky Boy took a Fancy to get on its back even like the Miller's Daughter without a Saddle another Truand Scholar begg'd to get behind him so did a third and

Cardinalised with boyling Gods Fish said the Monk the Porter of our Abbey then hath not his head well-boyled for his Eyes are as red as a mazer made of an Alder-tree The thigh of this Leveret is good for those that have the Gout Some natural Philosophy ha ha what is the reason that the Thighs of a Gentlewoman are always fresh and cool This Problem said Gargantua is neither in Aristotle in Alexander Aphrodiseus nor in Plutarch There are three Causes said the Monk by which that place is naturally refreshed Primò because the water runs all along it Secundò because it is a shady place obscure and dark upon which the Sun never shines And thirdly because it is continually blown upon and aired by a reverberation from the back-door by the fan of the smock and flipflap of the Codpiece And lusty my Lads some bousing liquor Page so Crack crack crack O what a good God have we that gives us this excellent Juice I call him to witness if I had been in the time of Iesus Christ I would have kept him from being taken by the Iews in the Garden of Olivet and the Devil fail me if I should have failed to cut off the hams of these Gentlemen Apostles who ran away so basely after they had well supped and left their good Master in the lurch I hate that Man worse then poison that offers to run away when he should fight and lay stoutly about him Oh that I were but King of France for fourscore or an hundred years by G I should whip like curtail-dogs these run-aways of Pavie A plague take them why did they not chuse rather to die there than to leave their good Prince in that pinch and necessity Is it not better and more honourable to perish in fighting valiantly than to live in disgrace by a cowardly running away We are like to eat no great store of goslings this year therefore friend reach me some of that rosted pig there Diavolo is there no more must no more sweet Wine Germinavit radix Iesse I renounce my Life I die for thirst This Wine is none of the worst what Wine drink you at Paris I give my self to the Devil if I did not once keep open house at Paris for all commers six Months together Do you know Friar Claude of the high kildrekins Oh the good Fellow that he is but what Fly hath stung him of late he is become so hard a Student for my part I study not at all In our Abbey we never study for fear of the mumps Our late Abbot was wont to say that it is a monstrous thing to see a learned Monk by G Master my friend Magis Magnos clericos non sunt magis magnos sapientes You never saw so many hares as there are this Year I could not any where come by a goshawk nor tassel of falcon my Lord Beloniere promised me a Lanner but he wrote to me not long ago that he was become pursie The Patridges will so multiply henceforth that they will go near to eat up our ears I take no delight in the stalking-horse for I catch such cold that I am like to founder my self at that sport if I do not run toil travel and trot about I am not well at ease True it is that in Leaping over Hedges and Bushes my Frock leaves always some of its Wool behind it I have recovered a dainty grey-Hound I give him to the Devil if he suffer a hare to escape him A groom was leading him to my Lord Hunt-little and I robbed him of him did I ill No Friar Ihon said Gymnast no by all the devils that are no. So said the Monk do I attest these same devils so long as they last vertue G what could that gowty Limpard have done with so fine a Dog by the body of G he is better pleased when one presents him with a good yoke of Oxen. How now said Ponocrates you swear Friar Ihon It is only said the Monk but to grace and adorn my speech they are colours of a Ciceronian Rhetoric CHAP. XL. Why Monks are the out-casts of the world and wherefore some have bigger noses then others BY the faith of a Christian said Eudemon I am highly transported when I consider what an honest Fellow this Monk is for he makes us all merry How is it then that they exclude the Monks from all good Companies calling them feast-troublers as the Bees drive away the drones from their Hives Ignavum fucos pecus said Maro á presepibus arcent Here-unto answer'd Gargantua there is nothing so true as that the Frock and Cowle draw to them the Opprobries Injuries and Maledictions of the World just as the Wind call'd Cecias attracts the Clouds the peremptory reason is because they eat the Turd of the World that is to say they feed upon the Sins of the people And as a noysom thing they are cast in●o the Privies that is the Convents and Abbyes separated from civil conversation as the Privies and Retreats of a House are but if you conceive how an Ape in a family is always mocked and provokingly incensed you shall easily apprehend how Monks are shunned of all Men both young and old the Ape keeps not the House as a Dog doth He draws not in the Plow as the Oxe he yields neither Milk nor Wool as the Sheep he carrieth no burthen as a Horse doth that which he doth is only to conskit spoil and defile all which is the cause wherefore he hath of all men mocks frumperies and bastonadoes After the same manner a Monk I mean those little idle lazie Monks do not labour and work as do the Peasant and Artificer doth not ward and defend the Countrey as doth the Souldier cureth not the sick and diseased as the Physician doth doth neither preach nor teach as do the Evangelical Doctors and Schoolmasters doth not import commodities and things necessary for the Common-wealth as the Merchant doth therefore ●s it that by and of all Men they are hooted at hated and abhorred Yea but said Grangousier they pray to God for us Nothing less answered Gargantua True it is with a tingle tangle jangling of bells they trouble and disquiet all their neighbours about them Right said the Monk a Mass a Matine a Vesper well rung and half said They mumble out great store of Legends and Psalms by them not at all understood they say many Pa●enotres interlarded with ave-maries without thinking upon or apprehending the meaning of what it is they say which truly I call mocking of God and not Prayers But so help them God as they Pray for us and not for being afraid to lose their Victuals their Manchots and good fat Pottage All true Christians of all estates and conditions in all Places and at all times send up their Prayers to God and the Spirit prayeth and intercedeth for them and God is gracious to them Now such a one is our good Friar Ihon therefore every Man

Censure Eternal Excommunication The Prohibition was no sooner made but that they did all of them boyl with a most ardent desire to know and see what kind of thing it was that was within it they thought long already that the Pope was not gone to the end they might joyntly with the more leisure and ease apply themselves to the Box-opening Curiosity The Holy Father after he had given them his Benediction retired and withdrew himself to the Pontifical Lodgings of his own Palace but he was hardly gone three Steps from without the Gates of their Cloyster when the good Ladies throngingly and as in a hudled Crowd pressing hard on the Backs of one another ran thrusting and shoving who should be first at the setting open of the forbidden Box and descrying of the Quod latitat within On the very next day thereafter the Pope made them another Visit of a full design purpose and intention as they imagined to dispatch the Grant of their sought and wished-for Indulgence but before he would enter into any Chat or Communing with them he commanded the Casket to be brought unto him it was done so accordingly but by your leave the Bird was no more there Then was it that the Pope did represent to their Maternities how hard a matter and difficult it was for them to keep Secrets revealed to them in Confession unmanifested to the Ears of others seeing for the space of Four and twenty hours they were not able to lay up in secret a Box which he had highly recommended to their Discretion Charge and Custody Welcome in good Faith my dear Master welcome It did me good to hear you talk the Lord be praised for all I do not remember to have seen you before now since the last tim● that you acted at Monpelliers with our ancient Friends Anthony Saporra Guy Bourguyer Balthasar Noyer Tolly Ihon Quentin Francis Robinet Ihon Perdrier and Francis Rabelais the Moral Comedy of him who had espoused and married a Dumb Wife I was there quoth Epistemon the good honest Man her Husband was very earnestly urgent to have the Fillet of her Tongue untied and would needs have her speak by any means at his desire some pains were taken on her and partly by the industry of the Physitian other part by the expertness of the Surgeon the Encyliglotte which she had under her Tongue being cut she spoke and spoke again yea within few hours she spoke so loud so much so fiercely and so long that her poor Husband returned to the same Physitian for a Recipe to make her hold her Peace There are quoth the Physician many proper Remedies in our Art to make dumb Women speak but there are none that ever I could learn therein to make them silent The only Cure which I have found out is their Husband's Deafness The Wretch became within few Weeks thereafter by Vertue of some Drugs Charms or Enchantments which the Physician had prescribed unto him so deaf that he could not have heard the Thundring of Nineteen hundred Canons at a Salve His Wife perceiving that indeed he was as deaf as a Door-nail and that her Scolding was but in vain sith that he heard her not she grew stark mad Some time after the Doctor asked for his Fee of the Husband who answered That truly he was deaf and so was not able to understand what the tenure of his Demand might be Whereupon the Leech bedusted him with a little I know not what sort of Powder which rendred him a Fool immediately so great was the stultificating Vertue of that strange kind of pulverized Dose Then did this Fool of a Husband and his mad Wife joyn together falling on the Doctor and the Surgeon did so scratch bethwack and bang them that they were left half dead upon the place so furious were the Blows which they received I never in my Life-time laughed so much as at the acting of that Buffoonry Let us come to where we left off quoth Panurge your Words being translated from the Clapper-dudgions to plain English do signifie that it is not very inexpedient that I marry and that I should not care for being a Cuckold You have there hit the Nail on the Head I believe Master Doctor that on the Day of my Marriage you will be so much taken up with your Patients or otherways so seriously employed that we shall not enjoy your Company Sir I will heartily excuse your absence Stercus urina medici sunt prandia prima Ex aliis paleas ex ist is collige grana You are mistaken quoth Rondibilis in the Second Verse of our Distich for it ought to run thus Nobis sunt signa vobis sunt prandia digna If my Wife at any time prove to be unwell and ill at ease I will look upon the Water which she shall have made in an Urinal-glass quoth Rondibilis grope her Pulse and see the disposition of her Hypogaster together with her Umbilicary Parts According to the Prescript Rule of Hippocrates 2. Aph. 35. before I proceed any further in the Cure of her Distemper No no quoth Panurge that will be but to little purpose such a Feat is for the Practice of us that are Lawyers who have the Rubrick De Ventre inspiciendo Do not therefore trouble your self about it Master Doctor I will provide for her a Plaister of warm Guts Do not neglect your more urgent occasions other-where for coming to my Wedding I will send you some supply of Victuals to your own House without putting you to the trouble of coming abroad and you shall always be my special Friend With this approaching somewhat nearer to him he clapp'd into his Hand without the speaking of so much as one word four Rose Nobles Rondibilis did shut his Fist upon them right kindly yet as if it had displeased him to make acceptance of such Golden Presents he in a start as if he had been wroth said He he he he he th●●e was no need of any thing I 〈…〉 nevertheless From wicked Folks I never get enough and I from honest People refuse nothing I shall be always Sir at your Command Provided that I pay you well quoth Panurge That quoth Rondibilis is understood CHAP. XXXV How the Philosopher Trouillogan handleth the difficulty of Marriage AS this Discourse was ended Pantagruel said to the Philosopher Trouillogan Our loyal honest true and trusty Friend the Lamp from hand to hand is come to you it falleth to your turn to give an Answer Should Panurge pray you marry yea or no He should do both quoth Trouillogan What say you asked Panurge That which you have heard answered Trouillogan What have I heard replied Panurge That which I have said replied Trouillogan Ha ha ha are we come to that pass quoth Panurge Let it go nevertheless I do not value it at a rush seeing we can make no better of the Game But howsoever tell me Should I marry or no Neither the one nor the other answered