nearer to God whereas false flashes leave the soul loose Again for the continuance of this blessed testimony in the soul I do find that an holy humble constant waiting on God and Communion with him in his ordinances joyned with a constant care and endeavour to walk with him in uprightness in all the duties of my particular calling and relations are blessed means to keep up and increase this assurance but the neglect or remisse usage of these doth diminish the oyl of this blessed Lamp and unsanctified liberty so far grieves the holy Spirit as to suspend this Testimony for a time What the nature of this witness of the Spirit was he said as it is in the precedent letter that it was better felt then expressed only being once asked about it he answered It was a secret overpowering that I am his and he is mine I am my well-beloveds and my well-beloved is mine He was wont to observe that the most likely means to attain assurance was to propound spiritual ends to our selves in the desiring of it not to desire it meerly that we might be at quiet and free from trouble in our Consciences but principally to desire it for this end that by the knowledge and apprehension of Gods love to us we might be inabled to give the Lord the glory of his own grace and be carried out to higher pitches in obedience In his discourse with some friends he had such a passage There may be a great deal of selfishness in seeking Peace I find it best when I am come to the greatest heights of peace to study my duty what it is that God would have me do and to follow him there otherwise I meet with a Cloud His manner was as hath been partly hinted before to make up his accounts every day and the method that he used in his meditation was to consider what God had done for him in the day and what his carriage had been towards God and he would say when he considered what Gods carriage had been to him there he saw that God had been doing him good in a constant tenor but then when he reflected upon himself there he saw many failings and he said there was so action done by him that was ever no good but there was some cireumstance or other that he saw himself imperfect and defective in and it was a remarkable speech of his I have accounted it a greatpitch when the Lord hath shewed me some defects in my best actions that I may go clean out of self unto Christ By this daily and constant exercise of his in reviewing his life and actions every day he kept and maintained much Peace of Conscience and this was one of the great things that God did for him that usually at the close of every day after the casting up of his accounts humble and fervent prayer the Lord made it out to him as he himself expressed it that All was pardoned In this way was he carried on until at last he arrived to as great an habitual perswasion and as constant an apprehension of the love of God as any hath been known to have attained in this latter age so that he walked in the light of Gods countenance from day to day and his way was to study and contemplate the love of God towards him in every thing and much of his Prayers ran this way that his faith might be strengthned to see and behold the love of God in all the passages of his life that so he might as Abraham did give the Lord glory by believing Therefore he would often expres himself in Prayer after this sort Oh that we might behold thy infinite and eternal love constantly so far as finite creatures are capable that the apprehensions of thy love might draw us up again to love thee And he would say We are apt to take notice of some of the greater and more remarkable passages of the love of God as if the Lord gave us some great deliverance or gave us some signal answer of Prayer or bestowed upon us some special blessing which we had much desired but our Heavenly father did not only do us good in these great things but he was still doing us good in a constant tenor even in the least things And as the Lord did much for him in this kind His fear of loosing assurance so he was very jealous of loosing this blessed priviledge viz. the sense that he had of the love of God and the light of his countenance which he walked in There were two things he said that he mainly desired of God the one was that having been a Professor of Religion so long he might be kept from scandalous sins The other was that God would not hide his face from him for he said he was a man of a low Spirit and without Gods presence he could not subsist and therefore said he I saw it necessary to be kept under affliction that I might be humble for God would not reveal himself to proud souls Besides this habitual peace and assurance which he enjoyed His Comforts he had many particular comforts from the Lord at several times and upon several occasions He said there was great familiarity between God his people after they had walked much with him When he lay down to rest at night he had usually that promise spoken over to him Fear not Abraham I am thy shield and thy exceeding great and rich reward When he had been desiring such pitches of holiness he had often such hints as these are I will satisfie thee When he was under any special afflictions he had some special comforts and supports from God When the Lord took away his first wise he was troubled in himself about the disposing of his children then the Lord comforted him thus They are thine but for a time but they are mine for ever and this he said satisfied him Another time having been exercised with a fit of the stone he wrote to a near Relation thus These are to let you know how fatherly God dealeth with us though afflicted yet not forsaken that which sweetens all my afflictions is that inward peace which the Lord is pleased to give me in all my outward pain Many more instances of this kind might be produced The Answers he had to prayer When he was in any special strait or difficulty and needed counsel and direction what course to take the Lord did always first or last after earnest seeking of him make out his way unto him He never sought God in any great affair or extraordinary concernment but he had some answer or other from him he was sure always to have this general answer that God would do him good and that he would order things in the best way The Discoveries he had from God conceruing future events of Providence Psal 25. Gen. 18.17 and often times he had more particular intimations of the mind of God The Lord did also
many a time give him secret hints before-hand of what he was about to do as afterward came to pass according to the tenor of these Scriptures the secret of the Lord is with them that fear him And shall I hide from Abraham the thing that I do When any great thing was approaching relating to himself his family or the Church he had usually some warning and intimation from God beforehand concerning it one time he was observed to be very sad and in his discourse he would say that God had seemed to intimate to him as if so be that he intended to make some change in his family whether this intimation were for trial or no and the Lord intended to moderate him to these earthly comforts or whether the Lord intended indeed to take away some one of his Family either himself or some other he said he would not determine however he made this use of it to set himself and his family in order not long after the Lord took away a near Relation which proved a great affliction to him and long before his own change he had many clear intimations of it and other instances might be given and some that were more rare and extraordinary but that it may not be so meet to mention things of this nature forasmuch as some possibly might make an ill use of them For indeed this we may say of him although the Lord did many extraordinary things for him and things that were not usual or common yet he did not expect them neither did he as Luther somewhere speaks of himself indent with the Lord that he should give them unto him much less would he boast of things of this nature to others He was content with the plain naked word he was a great magnifier of it there all his study and delight lay as will appear more hereafter and although he met with many extraordinary things in his own experience yet he spake of them very sparingly and to a very few And this he did as he said partly to avoid the occasion of Spiritual Pride in himself partly least weaker Christians should be discouraged who had not attained to what the Lord had done for him and partly that such who never knew what belonged to such things might not make a scoff of them when they heard them He was a man much in Prayer and Meditation His Excellency 〈◊〉 Meditation as for Meditation the Lord gave him a singular Ability that way and this made him a wise Man and a wise Christian he would seldom give an answer in any serious matter but he would first pause a while and he would say he should account it a great happiness if when ever he were to speak in any serious matter he might have the liberty or could remember with himself to muse for a little space He was much delighted in a saying of Dr. Prestons and did often mention it that the greatest Musers were the best Artists He was so much taken up in Meditation that he often found himself spent by it and he would say that Meditation was a spending thing Before he rose in the morning he would sometimes lie meditating an hour or two together If he were riding or walking if he were not ingaged in company and discourse with others he would still be in some contemplation or other If he were going about some worldly affair he would first contrive his worldly business and then he thought he might be at the more liberty and would reserve the rest of the time that he had free for Meditation of some Divine matter He seldom prayed in secret but he used some meditation before and it was a memorable speech of his that he preferred a short Prayer after long Meditation before a long Prayer without Meditation When ever he had heard a Sermon he spent a considerable time in meditating of what he had heard And he would say if he might be in such places where he might have opportunities to hear more frequently he should not like it so well to hear much unless he could have liberty to digest it by Meditation In meditating of the things he heard he would diligently look into all the texts that were quoted in the Sermon and for this purpose would often mention that famous instance of the men of Berea whom the Holy Ghost taketh notice of to be more Noble than those of Thessalonica Acts. 1.11 for this very cause because they searched the Scriptures daily whether those things were so This way of Meditation helped him greatly insomuch that by a diligent inquiry into the Scriptures that were quoted and musing upon what he had heard he was carried much farther sometimes then what the Preacher himself touched upon and when he came to repeat the Sermons in his family according as his manner was to repeat most of the Sermons which he had heard His way in repeating Sermons he always repeated both the Sermons on the Lords day and that on the Lecture day and many others which he heard occasionally having Meditated on them before-hand he would clear up those points that had most difficulty in them or had been more darkly delivered and if the Preacher had been of meaner parts and guifts and the things which had been delivered might not seem so useful he would so explain and illustrate that which others apprehended the Preacher defective in as that the Sermon was always rendred profitable in his repetition of it After the repetition of the Sermons on the Lords days he was wont to call his children and servants to an account of what they had learned and could remember of the things that had been taught them When he found any that had been careless in treasuring up the good word which they had heard he would reprove them and admonish them for their negligence and shew them the danger that they were in by neglecting or not profiting by the means of grace When he found any that were more forward and apt to remember the things which had been taught them he would commend and incourage them and he would often inculcate that speech of our Saviour To him that hath shall more be given but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath And although he was a man of great Authority and when there was occasion would speak with mighty Authority yet when he came to discourse with his children and servants about the things they had learned he would express a great deal of familiarity condescending in a familiar way to the meanest of their capacities and thereby insinuating himself into their affections begetting a love in them to the word and taking opportunity thereby to make things more plain and easie to their understandings He was much and often in Prayer His frequency in Prayer besides his exercises in secret and in the family of which we shall speak hereafter He oftentimes prayed with his yokefellow alone and if any
great occasion had fallen out in the day he would still retire himself to ask counsel and a blessing from the Lord Once every month he always kept a private day by himself besides what he did upon particular occasions to seek the Lord by fasting and Prayer the better to prepare himself for the Lords-Supper and then also he had much upon his heart the concernments of the Church And if ever any affliction befel him or his family or any of his relations his constant course was to seek the Lord in an extraordinary manner So likewise if there were any great business he was to undertake or any more eminent strait wherein he needed Divine counsel providence and protection he still set apart some time to seek God in a more then ordinary manner and his success was answerable for he had always some gracious return or other Besides the set times of Prayer which he observed he was full of occasional ejaculations He was seldom known to be out of a spiritual frame and in that frame his heart was darting up one holy ejaculation or other He was most punctual in keeping his times and seasons for Prayer reading and Meditation Whatever his worldly businesses were which were sometimes many and weighty he was very loth to abridge himself in his wonted course for these exercises and if he were necessitated at any time to be shorter he would be sure to redeem the next opportunity to regain what he had been deprived of He was wont to say when he did hasten over holy duties out of an over eager desire to follow his worldly business he did many times meet with a cross in his business but when he did take his ordinary time God did make his other business to succeed the better or else his mind was brought to submit to the will of God He was seldom known to pray himself His great Affection in holy duties or to join with others in Prayer but his heart was much affected and carried out with much holy zeal and fervency In his old age his heart would melt frequently and he would often be dissolved into tears and his affections seemed to be as green and vigorous as the affections of young Converts use to be When he joined with others he was far from an oscitant and careless carriage His behaviour was so reverent and mixed with so much affection as that the Minister under whose Ministry he sate would profess he found himself very much helped and quickned by the observance of his affection If at any time he found the least decay or deadness coming upon him that was his greatest trouble and far more then any outward affliction In one of his letters he expressed himself thus having spoken before in his letter of a bodily distemper that lay upon him he goes on thus That which troubleth me now is the distemper of my Spirit because I find my self less lively in holy things and more unactive then formerly Yesterday blessed be God I found some reviving When he awoke in the morning His private Exercises in the morning if it were before the ordinary time he was wont to rise his manner was to spend some time in meditation and the subject of his Meditation for the most part was somewhat of the great work of Redemption and he imployed his thoughts principally to meditate on the eternal sacrifice of the Lord Jesus which was offered up to the Father for the taking away of the sins of his people and according to this his own practise he would counsel his children every Morning to take a turn at the Cross of Christ and to think of his sufferings and that would be a means to make them love Christ the more When he was rising and dressing himself in the morning he would let fall some holy instructions or other on them that were about him After he was ready his first work was to retire himself into his closet where he spent a considerable time in reading Meditation and Prayer His daily practise was to read every morning some part of the Scriptures with some commentarie thereupon and after that to meditate on what he had read and being much taken with the Spirituality and Judiciousness of Calvins expositions he made the greatest use of him to help him in the understanding of the Scriptures After he had thus finished his private exercise of Prayer and Meditation on the word he had read His morning exercises in the Family he was wont to call together his family and communicate unto them what he had learned from his own meditation and the expositions of godly Divines on the word that he had read and what ever his worldly occasions had been he would scarce ever omit this exercise with his family but every morning would open some portion of the Scripture to them and give them some holy exhortation from it and this was his practise for 20 or 30 years together Such was his modesty and humility in the managing of this work that although he was of a great Judgment himself of long experience and had a deep insight into the things of God yet he would say he would not take upon him to interpret the meaning of such or such a text but he would acquaint them what he had learned from godly Divines By this constant course of reading and daily perusing the expositions of Divines joyned together with his own Meditation he became a man expert and mighty in the Scriptures So that when he came to speak to his family he would open the Scriptures with much clearness and solidity and the Lord endued him with a wonderful ability to make things plain and familiar to the capacity of the meanest And when he came to make applications of things to those of his own family he would be sure to consider what every ones condition did require those whom he feared to be still in the state of nature he would lay open to them the danger of their condition and what a sad thing it was for them to remain out of Christ and what ever the matter was he had been speaking of his exhortation would be sure always to center in this to press them to look after Christ in whom the Father had laid up all grace and from whom they must expect to receive all grace His exhortations were set on with a wonderful strange authority there was so great a presence of God with him that many besides those of his own family who came occasionally to be in his house will have cause to bless God for him to eternity After he had spent a quarter of an hour or a little more in this way of exhortation he would close up the mornings exercise with prayer in which he would not be long but his prayer was so substantial that he would comprehend the whole of Religion and as it were a body of Divinity in a short Prayer His prayer seemed to be nothing but digested meditation
others that belonged to Gods election that were yet uncalled in in all his exercises in his family his main drift lay that way he would still be speaking somewhat that might make them see their need of Christ and the main thing he would press upon them was that they would labour to get into Christ and to make sure of Christ He was very tender and compassionate to them that were under temtation and distress of Conscience His Compassion toward such who were under temptation several that were under trouble of mind did resort to him and some did abide in his family for a season the better to enjoy the benefit of his prayers and counsells and the Lord was pleased so far to hear his prayers and to bless what he spake to them as they went away with more Peace and satisfaction His own temptations And as he bare a tender respect to others in their temptations so he was not without his own temptations it is true his assurance touching his estate that remained firm and unshaken Once indeed he said in a sickness he had a very strong assault from the Enemy but it was but short the temptation was that he was an Hypocrite and all that he had done was in Hypocrysie hereupon the Lord put it into his heart that suppose it were so yet now he should cast himself upon the grace of God in Christ and immediately the temptation vanished but though he had not many assaults of this kind yet he was not without his other temptations The great temptation that he complained of in his elder years was Infidelity A year or two before his death he complained to a near Relation that he had been troubled with temptations that were very grievous and bitter to him and the temptation was whether there was such a one as Christ or no and whether there had been such actions done by him the next morning after the temptation had been upon him these words were dropped into him I was Crucified for thee I have shed my blood for thee this brake and melted his heart exceedingly that when his temptation was of so grievous a nature that the Lord should so condescend unto him and when he spake of it he spake of it with Tears He had also several other Conflicts insomuch that he once break out into this expression Oh it is hardkeeping up until we come to heaven it is hard fighting Another passage he had to this purpose Before we receive the Crown we must strive and finish our course temptations will arise but blessed is the man that endureth temptation for when he is tried he shall receive the Crown of Life He said he had been ten years striving against one corruption and at last the Lord brake the neck of it Another time he said I have been striving against the height of my Spirit these forty years His Afflictions And as he had his inward conflicts so he was seldom without some outward trial or affliction He said it was one of his exercises every morning to expect what God might try him with in the day either afflictions or temptations and he had another passage to the same purpose I thought I had undergone many trials so that now I might hope to be quiet but still the Lord provided some new In a Letter of his to a near Relation he said that his life it was made up of mixtures of incouragements and difficulties In the same letter he adds I do think it may be much conducing to the glory of God and to our advantage if we still expect such mixtures knowing that we are thereunto appointed and that so we may in every days success intreat the Lord for grace suitable to our infirmities and necessities whereas if we should limit the almighty to have our wills satisfied we may displease him and create crosses to our selves And as he was seldom without some exercise of affliction or other The benefit he had by affliction so his afflictions were of singular use to him he said when ever he was out of the way the Lord shewed him clearly that he was so and that this or that was not right and usually he did it by affliction and this was one of his experiences which was remarkable he said he never had any Chastisement in all his life but the Lord had shewed him some miscarriage by it His afflictions made him pray much and that was his constant course when any great trial or affliction befell him to set a part some time to seek God in an extraordinary manner His great prayer when he was under affliction was that he might be made partaker of Gods Holiness by it When his family had been visited with the smal-pox he said he had been mightily stirred up to pray that this Visitation might end in the Reformation of the family and that they might set to the work of God with all their might and this was usually the fruit of all his afflictions to quicken him to more activity in the ways of God When one of his relations had been sick he wrote thus to him Truly I perceive the Lords mind is to wean us from the world and from self now the Lord accomplish the good pleasure of his will in us to the utmost that we may cleave unto him wholly and fully by the wisdome and strength of the Lord Jesus in us be not dismaid at your afflictions God will turn them to good A few years before his death the Lord was pleased to try him by suffering his house to be on fire this fire happened on a Saturday night about ten of the Clock in the night his family being the most of them in bed and himself asleep Being awakened out of sleep by some that first descried the danger and called upon him to arise for his preservation the first thing that the Lord put into his thoughts was that in the midst of Judgment he would remember Mercy and the Lord was pleased to answer his prayer eminently for only his out-houses were consumed and his dwelling house was preserved which yet was joyning with the other and in an apparent danger but that the providence of God was wonderfully sEen in its preservation many of his friends and neighbours and of the poor people of the town came to his assistance in this time of distress and though all his goods were removed out of the house and those which were poor and necessitous might have taken several things yet such was the love and reverence which the people of the place did generally bear to him and the experience they had of his Charity and readiness to do them good that there was not one that had a heart or an hand to take any thing that was his but all his goods that were carried forth were preserved intire without so much as the loss of any one thing but this did not comfort him so much as that the fire was quenched
so seasonably and things so soon set in order by the help of his friends as that he and his family had the liberty to attend upon the Ordinances the next day and to keep the Sabbath according to his wonted manner This affliction of the fire he attributed to the neglect of a duty in not putting away a servant whom he had often admonished but was not reformed having had thoughts and resolutions often of putting him away but being slack in performing his duty herein he conceived that this was the reason why the Lord so corrected him Another time when the Lord had made some breach upon his estate and he had suffered a considerable loss he said the Lord had shewed him that if he leaned too much upon these things he would take away all At another time he speaking concerning afflictions in the general he had this expression for mine own part I do acknowledg to the glory of God that our only wise God and heavenly father hath taken the best course with me Oh how lazy had I been and worldly if the Lord had not hedged up my way but blessed be God that will not suffer me to live after the flesh He was very apprehensive of the least mercy and a curious observer of every passage of Providence His observing God in all his Providences When his house had been in danger of being set on fire at another time and writing of it to a near Relation he expressed himself thus the Lord make us really thankful and teach us to render for all mercies and deliverances especially for that great deliverance from wrath to come and for the hope of eternal life which God that cannot lye hath promised Much of his walking with God lay in this he was very curious to observe the least check or rebuke from providence in every thing that befell him and if he met with the least cross he would presently go and humble himself before the Lord and pray that he might understand his meaning in it His great Scope and design was The Constant design he had to glorifie God that he might glorifie God in the whole course of his conversation he studiously watched and observed all opportunities for that end and his great prayer was that where ever he came he might either do good or receive good And he would pray that we might not only glorifie God but that we might glorifie him intentionally And as this was his prayer so all that conversed with him did easily perceive that this was his design he did not speak of the things of God customarily and because others did but if opportunity were not offered he would seek it to fasten some good discourse upon those that were in company with him before he parted from them The Minister that preached at his Funeral had this passage concerning him The general Bent and Biass of his Spirit was toward God and toward his name the very quintesence of his Spirit was carried that way and that intensively and constantly I did never observe in him that ever he intended any thing more or minded any thing so much as the glory of God did you converse with him about worldly affairs he would reduce you by little and little to some heavenly discourse there would all the lines of his Circumference center His humility indeed and modesty was great if he were in the company of godly Ministers or others that he took to be his superiours he would first wait to see whether they would speak any thing for edification if he perceived them to be silent or more slack he would endeavour to ingage them in good discourse or else before they parted would set it on foot himself And if he had been long in company with others and nothing had been spoken to edification if was a great trouble to him When he spake of the things of God he spake of them with great Majesty and Authority he was seldom known to speak of the things of God but the weight of the things he spake of was upon his Spirit and he spake as a man that had his heart wholly taken up in them Religion and the things of God were become as it were natural to him and look what vehemency of Spirit and intention of affections others do discover in the prosecution of their other affairs the same did he manifest in the ways of God his heart was still affected when he spake of the things of God and as he was affected himself so he did for the most part affect others When he spake by way of counsel or reproof to any he would choose as much as might be to speak in the words of Scripture that so as he said they might rather hear God speaking then hear him speaking and so consequently what was spoken might carry the more authority in managing of reproofs he would use great wisdome and compassion his great care was to order his reproofs so that it might appear he did no way aim at the disgrace of the person that was reproved but only at his reformation and his Souls good And as he was a faithful reprover of others so he loved reproof himself he often said he had met but with one in all his life that would be so faithful a friend as to tell him of what he apprehended to be amiss in him and he loved him the better for it all his life He was very eminent for his Heavenly mindedness and his Heavenly affections His Heavenly mindedness that our conversation might be in heaven whilst our dweling place was here on earth And as he prayed so he lived he said Methinks I look upon all the things of this world as Pictures of things in the other world At another time he had a speech to this purpose Surely if God shall be all in all hereafter the less we have to do with the creature here more then needs we must the more like we are to that life Another time he said I am ashamed very much sometimes that I should delight in the creature so much and delight in God no more One time when some of his children were coming to visit him fearing out of his godly jealousie lest they might be transported too much with a meer natural and carnal joy and not make that heavenly and spiritual improvement of their meeting he writes thus to them before their comming When Moses and Elias appeared in glory at the glorious transfiguration of Christ in the Mount the talk they had as St. Luke saith was touching the decease of Christ which he should accomplish at Jerusalem and we among other things may thence also learn that it is an heaven-like disposition in midst of all our earthly enjoyments to think and talk of our departure hence And as I write this to you so I speak of it here that both you and we may mingle our meeting here on earth with such thoughts and discourse as may mitigate the present
bitterness of any afflicting providence and may contain our Spirits in an even temper by the expectation of that uninterrupted and eternal joy that we hope one day to enter into when we shall meet never more to be separaced In another of his letters he expressed himself thus We have but an inch of time on earth and then we enter into eternity Oh then let us pray continually effectually fervently that our way may be right and our hearts upright to the finishing of all his wills in duty according to our relations unto all well pleasing He was a man of a very tender Conscience The Tuederness of his Conscience sensible of the least slip and failing and though none was ever known to be more Charitable to others and to make a more Charitable construction of what was done by others yet none was ever more severe against himself or more curious to espy the least sinful defect or irregularity in himself when he perceived the ebullitions of pride self-love covetousness infidelity When he saw the least mixture of carnal and self-ends in his good actions When he observed how prone he was to be byased by man-fearing and man-pleasing as he expressed it from his dutiy This was an inexpressible trouble to him and he would bewail these things with more bitterness then many are wont to do their grosser sins If he had at any time unawares and of a sudden spoken although others it may be apprehended it was not so an uncomely word as he thought unsuitable to the gravity which he conceived became him as a Christian he would bewail it greatly and could never be at rest in himself till he had prayed the persons that he supposed might take offence would pass it by He would be often complaining of his infirmities it was rare to hear him speaking of his comforts or spiritual joys but he would be very frequent in discovering what he found amiss in himself and many things that are very much sleighted by others were curiously observed by him In one of his letters he expresseth himself thus My unthankfulness besides my other sinful infirmities grieveth me sore and I am jealous of myself least the fear of the Rod do trouble me more then my grief for sin In another letter he hath this passage I have found and do find a great difficulty as in other things so in this of health to keep that narrow way of the Lord for I find by woful experience that I am often slipping out either by too much indulgence or too much severity which may rather be termed cruelty the Lord make us wise to avoid both these extreames His great care was to keep himself not only from such things as were in themselves sinful and unlawful but to abstain from all appearance of evil and to cut off occasion of offence from those that might seek it or be apt to take it He said he had found by many years experience that the great difficulty that lay upon the Saints it was in the use of things lawful and indifferent and he said he had often been unawares overtaken this way sometime by the leading aside of his own corrupt nature which was ever willing to take the largesT size and sometime by the mistaking of others who had misapprehended his intentions and made an evil construction of his actions yet God hereby had made him more wise and circumspect Hereupon he would advise to forbear a lawful recreation at some time and place rather then by the use of our Christian liberty occasion the censures of any that were loose and large walking though unjustly raised Another thing wherein the eminency of the grace of God in him appeared His Eminency in self Resignation was the Resignation of himself and all he had to the will of God the nature of grace is very much seen in this which we will as God wills and our wills do follow and not anticipate the Divine and uncreated will this holy man attained a great excellency in this kind it was his great exercise to pray up his will into a one-ness with the will of God he observed it was very incident to our natures to desire to bring down Gods will to ours but it was much better for us to pray up our wills into his when any difficulty lay before him and his natural affections and inclinations would have carried him such a way His first work was not to pray so much that he might obtain that which nature would desire but that this will might be brought up to the will of God and that his Spirit might be brought to an holy indifferency and the Lord did eminently answer him herein for before the issue of providence was discovered his will was usually brought up to the will of God and in several great Cases and emergencies in his life wherein he was much concerned he hath been known to say Touching the issue and success of such a business I have received power through grace to acquiess in the will of God when it is manifest And as it was his great exercise to be much in self-resignation so he made it his endeavour to resign all he had unto the Lords dispose After he had heard of the welfare of some of his Children he thus expressed himself And now what thanks can I render to God for you all only I desire to give you all up to God that hath given you to me for a time His advice also to his Children was to follow his example herein and to give up their nearest comforts to the Lord daily His great desire was to be spiritual in all he did His uprightness and that grace and not nature or fleshly wisdom might sway him in every thing When a near Relation desired his advice and connsel in a business of concernment before he came to give his advice he said Oh that I might be wholly spiritual that no carnal respects might blind mine eyes and this was his constant course when ever he was ingaged in any difficulty or to manage any business wherein he might be much concerned as to the issue of it his first care wes to mind his duty and to study which way grace would teach him to act and his great care was that grace might have the principal sway in all his actions that so it might appear to himself and others that not his natural affections or the principles of fleshly wisdom and carnal policy but grace and the word of God had led him forth to what he did He was wont to say that Duty was ours but the issues and successes of things belonged to God we should therefore study what our own duty was and leave the issue and successes of of things to God When one had desired his advice in a business of importance and great difficulty he wrote thus This one thing let us with incessant importunity crave of the Lord that in this as in all other things he
expected from Christ alone And as he was eminent for his living by faith on the Person of Christ His living by Faith on the promises so likewise he was eminent for his living by faith on the Promises and resting upon the Lord in all his straits when he could but take sanctuary in some promise and find out some word of God for his faith to rest upon he thought himself secure he was delighted in the mentioning of that passage of Abraham that Abraham gave God glory by believing he thought that the highest way of honouring God it was by trusting of him on his naked word and promise It is true he was often assaulted by temptations of infidelity as hath been hinted before but these were but occasions to make him pray more fervently and his Faith got the deeper root in the conclusion the main stream of his prayers in his older years ran this way that he might not stagger at the promise through unbelief that he might be established in Faith and that his Faith might not fail and the Lord heard him herein for his Faith held out in its strength to the very last as will appear when we come to relate the passages of his death When ever he was in any strait or difficulty and knew not which way to turn the Lord bare up his heart in believing that he would make out his way at last and provide for him some way or other One time having complained to a near Relation of some touches of the stone and other infirmities that he laboured under he added But the Lord Supports me in whom I trust also that he will support me When he told his friends that he endeavoured to answer their desires in praying for them he would say he did indeed pray for them daily but it was with much weakness and infirmity yet said he our trust is of acceptance in the Lord Jesus which sitteth at the right hand of the Father and maketh request for us But that which was the Crown and Ornament of his other graces His singular Humility was his singular humility As his grace and experience was extraordinary so he had a more then ordinary measure of humility No expression was more familiar with him then that of the Apostle accounting himself the chief of Sinners There was no corruption that he did oppose or set himself against more then Spiritual Pride He would often mention that passage of St. Peter God resisteth the proud but giveth grace to the humble when ever he begged any other grace from God he would still beg humility as that which must prepare him and make him capable of receiving that grace His expressions in prayer were such as these empty us of self that we may be full with thy fullness that we may receive more grace make us more humble And as he was most watchful against Spiritual pride in himself so he would warn and admonish others especially to watch against this corruption Watch said he against that stratagem of Satan wherewith he usually assaulteth Souls in the growth of Spiritual guifts which is to puff them up Another time he spake to this purpose As he said fight not against smal nor great but only against the King of Israel so say I above all fight against self and pride Writing to a near Relation he had this expression Truly I find in every days success the Ebullition of that remainder of Pride in me and I rejoyce at your sensibility of it and I have you in remembrance as to this very thing I think I may say daily But as this holy man was most sensible of the stirring of Pride in himself so by his long and daily praying and striving against it he got so great a victory over it that others that beheld him never saw greater demonstrations of humility then in him He was never known to boast of his own excellencies but he would often spake of his infirmities that so as he said God might have the more glory and himself shame When he speak for God or in the cause of God he would spake with as great Majesty and authority as ever any of so private a capacity as he was was known to do when he spake of any thing relating to himself he would still abase himself and manifest the greatest lowliness of mind and self-denial and he loved not that others should think too highly of him To one that had a great esteem of him for that grace of God that did so eminently appear in him he wrote thus Think of me no otherwise then you see only I hope I have obtained mercy to be faithful He was very curious in this to arrogate nothing to himself The Love he had to the glory of God his great care was to put off all from himself and to attribute all to the free grace of God as St. Pauls expression was not I but the grace of God in me So when he was carried out to any special or eminent exercise of grace he would still express himself to this sort I have received grace to do this or that duty or to believe this or that particular promise And it was one of his familiar sayings let us remember to expect all from him and ascribe all to him When he had heard of the grace of God in others he would rejoyce much in it and in this he had a peculiar excellency he was never observed to envy the gifts or grace of any but rejoyced exceedingly to hear of the graces of others and blessed the Lord for the grace bestowed upon others as well as that which was given to himself He loved Holiness for Holiness sake and therefore when he saw it in any he rejoyced in it as much as if it had been in himself When he had heard of the grace of God bestown upon some he said blessed be the Lord for ever and ever who are we that we should be able to will any thing after this sort the Lord keep it in the purpose of our hearts for ever and prepare our hearts to him The great thing which he begged of God for himself and his nearest Relations was that God would make use of him and them some way to be serviceable to him whilst they lived and he said one thing more have I begged of God and shall beg that both me and you and all that receive the benefit may look up and give God alone all the glory Herein lay the perfection of his grace and that wherein he came nearest to the holiness of the Saints in heaven that although he desired to be most serviceable and to be carried forth in the highest way of exercising grace yet when all was done he desired not that he might be eyed or looked upon the more but his great desire was that all that was done by him might be seen to be of God and that he might be admired the more Writing to a near Relation he had this
passage I pray that God will make use of my self and you in such a way as that God alone may be seen and we not taken notice of at all that he may have the glory and we may not be seen It was a mighty rejoycing to him to see Religion honoured and to hear of any passage of providence that made for the credit or honour of Religion When there was an old disciple an ancient Christian that had professed Religion many years dyed and had held out in his profession to the end without any stain upon his conversation he seemed to be transported with an extraordinary joy and could hardly speak of it without tears Oh said he such a one hath left no stain behind him He was constantly affected with a great sense of Gods dispensations towards the Land The great Sense he had of Gods Dispensations towards the Land if there were any signs of Gods displeasure and the Judgments of God seemed to be approaching or else the Land lay under Judgments at the present his manner still was to humble himself in a more then ordinary manner and to stir up himself to pray with more fervency And he was wont to say he loved to look above the Instruments and the second Causes and to transact all things between God and him and to consider what it was that God aimed at in every dispensation In the time of the late troubles he wrote to a near Relation to this effect We had here with us as loud Thunder as I remember ever to have heard our house in which I was did shake the Lightning also then was extraordinary such as I never saw in all my life I stood to behold how it came forth at the breaking of the Clouds and I saw and so did many others with me that out of the midst of the Lightning there came forth divers times the likeness of fresh burning coales of fire so redand sparkling as any hot Iron can be when it is heated to the utmost in the Smiths Forge These Signs from heaven with the Sword drawn out on earth among us do seem to speak alowd that our provocations are very great Joyn with us to intreat the Lord for pardon and reformation Stir up your godly friends to do the like It may be the Lord will hear and spare because he warns or it may be such seekers may be hid or marked out from the common destruction or if the outward man perish sure I am the soul shall find mercy that seeks the Lord in truth He will in no wise cast out such a Soul In another Letter he wrote thus at such a time fell abundance of rain and the waters were so high as hath been seldom seen many mens harvest is yet behind and great loss likely to ensue our heavenly Father shakes the rod of Famine as he hath of the Sword Oh let us pray that grace may turn all of us that are his from our Iniquities In another letter speaking concerning the troubles and publick distractions that were in the land he expressed himself thus Methinks the voice of the Gospel considered with the uncertainty of all things here below doth seem to put us most seriously to resolve upon the setting of our affections on things above I hope it is our resolution with yours But yet I think we and you need more firmness in resolution else why should our wise heavenly Father hold us at such uncertainties if he did not see this to be best for us In another letter speaking of the publick troubles he had this expression I believe that one end of our troubles may be to keep us up in a fervent frame of praying that we may pray up our selves more and more into that heaven-like conversation in which the ancient Saints have been inabled to out-live their troubles and so I trust shall we These few instances amongst many more that might be produced are brought to shew how sensible he was of Gods dispensations towards the Land and of publick Judgments and what his carriage was under them He was a man of a sound Judgment His soundness in the Faith and most stable in the Faith insomuch that though he had been a professor of Religion for many years and lived in such a time wherein so many opinions sprang up he never took up much less was fond of any private particular or novel opinion but he always preferred the old Divinity as he call'd it and liked that doctrine best which he knew to be held and maintained by the generality of godly sober and Orthodox Diviner Where he perceived any were led aside into any erroneous or corrupt principle by the subtilty of Satan and their own weak Judgment he would pray with great compassion and tendernss for their reduction and recovery and herein he was veryeminent instead of censuring others or quarreling with them about their opinions he did Conscientiously set himself to pray for them and as he had opportunity would endeavour in the Spirit of meekness by setting before them the clearest and plainest texts of Scripture that were opposite to their opinions to inform them in the truth And being sensible how much the work of Christ was hindered by the falling away of many that had newly taken up the profession of Religion to vain opinions his prayers ran much that way that the Lord would please to reduce wandring Souls and he would exhort others to do the like Oh says he let us be earnest with our God to stablish us and ours and all his people in the truth of the Gospel His Charity His Charity towards others was exceeding exemplary where he saw any thing of Christ or sincerity though mixed with some errors in Judgment and accompanied with other infirmities his Charity would pass over those defects and imbrace that of the grace of God which he apprehended to be in them He always loved to make the best construction of the actions of others and if the action of an other could possibly admit of a good interpretation he would be sure to construe it in that sense It was a rule with him never to speak of the faults and failings of others behind their backs except it were in these two cases either that it might some way or other tend to the persons reformation or else to warn others to take heed of such a one that might do them a mischief And as he laid a Law upon himself never to speak of the failings of others for discourse sake but only upon a weighty occasion and for a good end so he could not patiently endure to hear an evil report concerning others and it was the most unpleasing discourse to him to hear the infirmities of others blazoned without a cause He was most ready to distribute to the necessities of such as were in want to his power and many times beyond his power His house was free and open at all times for the entertainment of godly
yet hath he pardoned me and will ere long receive me to be with Christ which is best of all Pray for me that I may give God his due glory by believing and by holy submission and conformity to his will in life and death Blessed be God I have in my weak measure set my house in order c. As long as ever he was able His unweariedness in the Lords work to the last he continued praying with his family and speaking to them something out of the word and when he found his spirits so low and so much spent that he was not able to do as much as he had done formerly he said it was the grief of his Soul that he could do no more for them His whole carriage during his sickness and at his death His exemplary carrage at his death it was suitable to his life as he had lived exemplarily so he died exemplarily The whole of his carriage at his death was as one who was an eye witness of it and was a judicious person expressed it as if it had been a studied peece his great care was that grace might be seen to act him at his death as his chief care had been to express it in his Life He was naturally a man of a timerous and fearful Spirit but when he came to die the grace of God had so elevated him above his natural temper that he was not only willing to die but he triumphed over death and was no more concerned about it then only that grace might act him at his death as it had done in his life He delighted not to speak much in the time of his sickness but for the most part his time was taken up in a continued Meditation yet something he spake to all that came to visit him and that which he spake it was usually comprized in some short sentence or other His Dying Speeches and Counsels His most usual word to all that came to him was this make sure of Christ remember that one necessary thing At one time when some of the younger sort were come about him he said make sure of Christ and for incouragement I tell you that Religion is no vain thing it is no notion it is a reality I tell you so from mine own experience Another time perceiving some young ones to be talking one to another in a familiar manner he said he knew not what thy were talking about but commended their love only they should be sure to speak something for the edifying one of another and they should have their speeck seasoned with the salt of the word for the Lord he hearkned and heard and there was a Book of remembrance written for them that feared him and thought upon his name At another time when there was a person of Quality came to visit him he said hold on as you have begun make sure of Christ if I had as much gold as would reach up to the sky it would do me no good my interest in Christ is all my happiness Another time his wife and children coming about him he said I hope you have made choice of Christ and he exhorted them to cleave to him withall he added they shyould be diligent in the use of all the means but when all was done they should be sure to depend upon Christ and he added farther take heed of the world for that is your greatest Enemy I have found it to be so And to his children in particular he said deny your selves sinful-self self-pleasure and self\profit and the delights of the world and seek your All in Christ and in him you shall find All-sufficiency When some good people who were wont to meet together to pray and to build up one another in the ways of God came to visit him he said continue in prayer hold on I am confident it is the way of God you are in To the Minister of the place that came to visit him often in his sickness he said Preach to win souls let all your preaching be to win souls And to his own Son a little before his death he wrote to this purpose my Son take heed to the Ministry that thou hast received in the Lord that thou fulfil it this will tend to the glory of God the good of souls and to thine account in the day of Christ the great Shepherd of the sheep During the time of his sickness some of his Christian friends kept a Fast for him as also in relation to publick concernments and some being going from him to that exercise he said Pray for me but especially for the Church of God All the time of his sickness he had not the least cloud upon his Spirit The inward Peace and spiritual Comforts which he had in his Sickness neither was Satan permitted in the least to disturb his peace when a Minister that came to visit him asked him whether he had any temptations he answered No blessed be the Lord the had none so that although all his life time he had been full of conflicts yet when he came to die he had the most perfect serenity after he had been sick some weeks he wrote thus to a near Relation I yet live thorough merey and do continue weak but God dealeth very gently with me for my outward afflictions are tolerable and his inward consolations are full of grace and heavenly sweetness These comforts abode and continued with him to the very last for at several times in his sickness and the same day that he died he was heard to say he hath left with me the Comforter and when about an hour before he died his natural Spirits being almost spent he brake forth into this expression my grief is great one of his Relations standing by said to him you do not mean in respect of your spiritual estate Mr. Rowe replied with a little seeming displeasure No no he hath and doth and will support by his eternal Spirit Thus the Lord was pleased to answer him in that which had been his great desire for a long time which was that his Faith might not fail and that he might be kept up in the Faith to the last The night beFore he died he had this expression I have waited upon God for my salvation and blessed be God I shall not be disappointed As his manner was in his life time His Constancy in self-denial so it was observed by those that were most about him at his death He was much in the acknowledgment of his own nothingness and vileness and much in magnifying the free grace mercy of God towards him The Minister that preached at his Funeral had this passage concerning him He was much in self denial even to the last looking on all that he had done as nothing as dross and dung in comparison of Christ At one time when his wife came to him and said she prayed that she might follow his steps he replied Follow Christ follow
Christ he hath given you an example Blessed be God for friends but blessed be God for Jesus Christ who hath saved us from wrath to come His great desire was to be perfectly resigned up to the will of God His Constancy in self-resignation and therefore his great request to his friends when they came to visit him was this Pray me up into the will of God and to some of his near Relations during the time of his sickness he wrote thus Pray for me and your selves that we may be taught and made able by the Spirit of Christ in us to resign and conform to our Fathers good will that when Gods time is come I may depart in peace unto that longed for everlasting Rest which the Lord Jesus hath purchased for me and to which he will bring me even so Amen And in another letter he wrote thus I desire your prayers for me whilst I live that I may abide stedfast in the Faith of the Lord Jesus whose I am and by whom alone I expect salvation and that I may by Faith in the Lord Jesus His Soliloquies have power from him by his Spirit to submit and conform to his will both in life and death In the time of his sicknes he was full of holy ejaculations and Soliloquies He had often that passage of Hezekiah I am oppressed Lord undertake for me And that passage of David in the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my Soul He would often cause the 16. Psalm and the 26. of Isaiah the six first verses to be read to him and speaking to himself alone he would often repeat these words Isa 12.2 The Lord Jehovah is my Strength and my Song he also is become my salvation Sometimes he would say Come Lord Jesus and then he would answer himself Yea he doth come he comes leaping over the Mountains and skipping over the Hills The great thing which comforted him was to think he should be immediately with the Lord as soon as his race was at an end When a Christian friend that came to visit him used such an expression in discourse as this that the Bodies of the Saints should rest in their Graves as in a bed of Down Yea but says he this day thou shalt be with me in Paradise Intimating thus much that though it were matter of joy to him to think that his body should rest in Peace until the general Resurrection yet his greatest comfort lay in this to think that at the instant of dissolution his soul should go to the immediate sight of God This appeared in the many ardent breathings which he had in such expressions as these Come Lord Jesus Oh how doth my soul thirst for God And again he would say Go forth my soul to meet thy God He was not only willing to die but he longed to be dissolved and to be with Christ The last Sabbath but one before his death he said Oh what a blessed Sabbath would this be if this might be my entrance into my everlasting Sabbath At another time he said Why should we not be willing to die Christ came from heaven to earth to free us from sin and misery and why should not we be willing Gilberts Works Burroughs Gospel reconciliation His Earthly-mindedness Sympson of Unbelief Howsers Sermon preached in Jamaica In octavo and 12o. Strongs Will of God subjected to the Will of man Geerings arrignment of Pride Durants Counsel and Comfort for dejected souls Harrisons Spiritual Pleadings Lawsons Examination of Hobbs Hobbs Creed examined by T. Teneson Sr. Henry Wottons Remains with many additions Haughtons Rise Growth and Fall of Antichrist Perkins Catechism Sydenham for Infant Baptism Swaffeilds Saints Failings Wollebius Compendium Latine Sangers word of Faith Harris's threesold State of man An answer to Biddles Catechism History of the Spanish Inquisition Mr. Vines Saints neerness to God Heavenly-mindedness and Earthly-mindedness in two parts with an Appendix concerning laying hold on eternal life by John Rowe Minister of Gods word The Worm that dyeth not or Hell torments in the certainty and eternity of them plainly discovered in several Sermons preached on Mark the 9th the 48. v. by that painful and laborious Minister of the Gospel William Strong His own notes Published by Dr. Manton and Mr. Rowe The Fountain of life opened or a display of Christ in his essential and Mediatorial glory wherein the Impetration of our redemption by Jesus Christ is orderly unfolded as it was begun carried on and finished by his Covenant transaction Mysterious incarnation solemn call and Dedication belssed offices deep abasement and Supereminent advancement c. By John Flavel Preacher of the Gosspel of Jesus Christ at Dartmouth in Devon Newly Reprinted Christs power over Bodily diseases by Edward Lawrence Redemption of time by William Wheatly with a Preface of Mr. Richard Baxter FINIS