Kingdom of God John 3.3 and Mat. 18.3 Except ye be converted and become as little children ye shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven And become as little children that is we must be kind and loving one to another and tender hearted and we should be humble and lowly in heart have mean and low thoughts of our selves and forget injuries and pass by wrong done to us by others we should forgive our enemies as we hope for forgiveness from God Now we should examine our own hearts Psal 4.4 Commune with your own heart upon your bed 1 Cor. 11.28 Whether ever there hath been a real change wrought upon your souls or no If the bent of your souls be after sin and the pleasing of your flesh more than for the pleasing of God If your hearts be set upon carnal things to gratifie self and to fulfil the lust of your flesh and to love this world more than to love God then your case is very sad but if your great care be to please God and to eschew evil to avoid sin and to save your souls then you are the people of God Do you study so to walk as to approve your hearts to God is your great comfort in God is he your portion and treasure and if your greatest comfort be in the enjoyment of God then you are his peculiar people It is not the forsaking of some sins that doth make the change in the heart There are many that do forsake some sins such as may disgrace them before men but they love all sin in their hearts why they are as wicked as any neither is the forsaking of sin in time of affliction onely the changing of the heart but the hating of all sin the least sin the most secret sin the striving against it and the forsaking of it is a sign that there is a change wrought in the Soul We should consider the great love of the Great Almighty God towards us poor miserable sinners that when we were in a lost condition and could no way help our selves then he sent his beloved Son into the world to deliver us from our sins and to give unto us eternal life John 3.16 and we should consider the great love of the Lord Jesus Christ towards us He came down from Heaven from the Glory of his Father and took upon him the nature of man he satisfied Gods Justice in his suffering for our sins he suffered a most shameful painful and cursed death even the death of the cross for sinners all that should believe in his name O now that people would but lay hold on the Lord Jesus Christ for life and for salvation He is the onely way the truth and the life Joh. 14.6 They that have an interest in the Lord Jesus Christ shall have eternal life And then as for all such if they are sure of nothing here in this world yet they are richer than if they had all this world to their command without him What shall it profit any man if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul Mat. 16.26 O it is the great desire of my Soul that people would but turn from their sins and give up themselves unto the Lord Jesus Christ and receive him by faith into their Souls there was never one Soul that came unto him and stedfastly believed on him that ever he cast away but they have all eternal life it doth grieve his heart when sinners will not come unto him that they may have life John 5.40 We may see how he was greived because of the people of Jerusalem that they had out-lived the day of their visitation Luk. 19.41 42. And when he was come near he beheld the City and wept over it saying If thou hadst known even thou at least in this thy day the things that belong unto thy peace but now they are hid from thine eyes We should take care that our hearts be not hardned through the deceitfulness of Sin Heb. 3.13 We should pray to God that he would keep us from a seared conscience and from a hardened heart and that he would make us truly sensible of our sins that we may be humbled and that our hearts may be broken for sin that we may have a godly sorrow upon our hearts such as worketh repentance unto salvation never to be repented of 2 Cor. 7.10 It doth greatly concern us to know whether we are of the number of those that shall be saved We know not how soon we shall dye and depart out of this world and if we dye without an interest in the Lord Jesus Christ it will be miserable with us to all eternity we have all of us precious and immortal souls within our bodies which must be either saved or damned must go either to Heaven and be glorified with God to all eternity or go to Hell and be tormented with Devils to all eternity There is none can express the delight and comfort that the Saints in Heaven do enjoy they shall have everlasting rest and peace Isa 57.2 and continual joy in the Lord Mat. 25.21 They shall have a kingdom Luk. 12.32 and a Crown of life which the Lord hath promised to them that love him Jam. 1.12 None here can tell their blessed state as it is written Eye hath not seen nor ear heard neitherr have entred into the heart of man the things which God hath prepared for them that love him 1 Cor. 2.9 They shall be glorified with God and Christ to all eternity And then on the other way there is none of us that doth know nor can conceive what it is to be damned O what a dreadful thing damnation is it is to be banished for ever from the presence of the glorious God and to be tormented with Devils to all eternity 2 Thes 1.9 Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his power It is eternal banishment and separation from God Christ Angels Saints Heaven This is the punishment of loss and the worst of Hell Mat. 25.41 Then shall he say unto them on the left hand depart from me ye cursed into everlasting fire prepared for the Devil and his Angels O terrible terrible to be doom'd and sentenc'd to lie under the wrath and hatred of the insinitely great and dreadful God for ever and ever so long as God shall live whose being is to eternity so long as there is a Devil to torment or to be tormented shall their plagues last O that people would consider now while they are here in this world and prepare for death To one of these two places their souls must for ever be O that the thoughts of Heaven and the Torments of Hell would cause people to consider and prepare that they might come safe to this Heaven and escape this Hell Oh it doth greatly grieve me when I do seriously think of it of the great number of those which shall be damned and
pain full seven weeks The first day whereof in the Morning she delivered this following Speech The foregoing night had been very trouble some with her she having had little o no rest very much sickness whereupon she had a desire to see her Parents faces once more together they being called came forthwith into her Chamber her Brothers and Sisters after a little while came in likewise Her Father asked her how she did She answered I have had this Night many sweats and colds and have been very weak and in much pain but yet it hath been a very good night with me for therein I have had many comfortable refreshing thoughts Her Father replyed that in Heaven there are no sweats or colds no sickness or weakness Whereupon she began to speak at first very sparingly with long stops and pauses through weakness of body and stoppage of breath but after a little while she spake wonderfully quick and fast faster than ordinarily when in health Thus she began When Shimei cursed Dovid some that were nigh would have gone and taken off his life but David replied let him curse the Lord hath bid him David was a great and noble person and Shimei was a wicked man and should David so noble a Person take it so patiently as to say let him curse And I am a little piece of dust not so much as this pointing at her singers end yea not so much as this holding up the utmost corner of a linnen cloth yea I am nothing nothing nothing to thee Lord and shall the Lord from himself thus visit me and shall not I bear it patiently that have deserved infinitely infinitely infinitely more Let the Lord do to me and with me what pleaseth him Here a little stop afterward thus My Dear Parents you must not suffer your inferior part meaning the Flesh corruption and Carnal Affections as afterward she expressed her self you must not suffer your inferior part to rise up and prevail over the higher and spiritual part You must not murmur or repine whatsoever befals me Know that there is nothing comes to pass by Fortune or Chance Gods will cannot be altered or changed in the least His Will is Holy Just and Good and howsoever it be with me it is according to the Good Will of God Then she called for some cordial and her Father stept a little out of her presence When he was come again she thus spake Have you been with the Father There hath been and there is one with the Father meaning Jesus Christ our Intercessor as afterward she expressed her self for me and tho I am filthy dust yet the Goodness of the Father hath followed me all the days of my life and it is the Lords mercy that you and I and all others are not consumed I see that his compassions fail not The Lord doth not grieve or afflict the Children of men willingly and tho he afflict yet he will not cast off and the Lord is breathing in more breath to make me ready a living Soul for himself I have lived twenty years as I take it from your selves but I have been a sinful piece of dust yet there is enough in him to make me white again I am in a weak house but I wait for a house in Heaven whose Builder and Maker is God I desire my dear Parents and dear Sisters that my words may be in sincerity and may take deep root in you through the Spirit of God Then she took a little Liquor after which she proceeded thus I desire that the words I speak may be with a sanctified Spirit and pure conscience I have lived in the world and have been so * Tho she thus speak of her self yet she was a very lowly and humble maid high I would not be contented with this and that but did still look higher but that was vanity Now I see it is better to live in the Courts of the Lord than in the Tents of wickedness tho it were ten thousand years Now I desire you my dear Parents and Sisters I do not know how long I shall live neither doth any man know his time but if you live to see such a time that this my weak Tabernacle lie before you you would not be moved at it but say good is the will of the Lord in all his doings I am sorry that I should bestow so much of the breath that the Lord hath given me in vain words but there is enough in Jesus Christ to make it up again I rejoice to see you my dear Parents and Sisters but I should rejoice more to see you in our Fathers house If we do well here it will be well with us in our Fathers house and howsoever it be with me now I hope it will be well with me when this Tabernable is dissolved I have desired sometimes to live in some Town or City but the Lord in his Providence hindred it and it was to fit me for his heavenly City I am sorry for nothing that ever I have done but what hath not been agreeing to the good will of God Concerning my being next to God who was the first Author and chief Giver thereof I received it from you my Parents and I do return hearty thanks to God and also to you and as for my being so for my maintenance I give thanks to God and to you unfeigned thanks I am sorry for the dishonour the great great great dishonour I have done against the Great God and next for the dishonour to you My Sisters I desire you to mind the things of the eternal Spirit if you neglect now while here you will lose it for ever and if you do not find your selves striving against sin now you will not find the benefit hereafter Here a little pause afterward thus This Night hath been a painful one but yet a sweet night to me the sweetest that ever I have enjoyed I have had many sweet inward refreshings in it I have sometime thought to speak of spiritual things but could not the flesh hath hindred but now I will keep the flesh under I have heard my Saviour say you must not think what you shall speak and now I find it so He Christ is my Saviour You were talking last night of Mr. * A Godly Ministor who departed this life a little before this i me Whiddon and I think as I believed that he was a good man I have some time grieved and stranged at it that God takes away such †He being as to his age in the best of his time men but then I thought as men gather their fruit and as you that have but a little do by your †It being the time of Gathering in such fruit apples you gather them in for store and use hereafter and you take some delight therein and you may do so so the Father when he hath made his servants ripe then he gathers them to himself for store for eternity and he
the small company in comparison of them that shall be saved Mat. 7.13 14. I am a poor weak Creature and it hath pleased the great God to cause distempers and weakness and sickness to light on my body These two years and †This was written at least a year and half before she died and she sickly two years and a quarter before she wrote it quarter I never having a days health in this time but very much distemper and infirmity on my body Many times I have thought that the Lord had sent the Messenger of Death to take me at that time out of this present life but by his good hand my life is lengthened unto this present hour Beside all this I have had great trouble and perplexity in Spirit and mind which none but God doth know of which I could never have stood under had not the Lord wonderfully supported me and born me up under it by his mighty hand Now I desire not so much the restoring of my body for I do think I shall never have the enjoyment of health more in this world tho it is not impossible with God But if it were the Lords Will that I should have health again I do hope by his help and assistance to improve it to his praise and glory Tho I have a sinful and corrupt heart within me yet the Lord is mighty to save and help and succor those that trust that put their trust in him Now the Will of the Lord must be done and I desire that the Lord would lay no more on me than he would enable me to bear with patience and that he would comfort me under his afflicting hand and that all sin and guilt cleaving to me may be fully expiated and discharged through the blood of Christ and that the Lord would give me assurance of his love through Jesus Christ tho I am a sinful creature That I may have true and saving faith to lay hold on the Lord Jesus Christ for Salvation that I may never fall away from him If the Lord should leave me to my self then I shall perish eternally but I trust in the Lord and hope that he will pour down his rich and precious mercies on me for Jesus Christs sake that my soul may be truly and perfectly sanctified by his holy Spirit and that I may never be lead aside by the devices of Satan and the corruption of my heart and the deceitfulness of this world but that my soul may be stablished in righteousness and confirmed in the end that I may be blameless in the day of the Lord Jesus Christ that I may have a sure interest in the Lord Jesus then I shall be happy to all eternity O my desire is that however the Lord be pleased to deal with my body that it may go well with my Soul to eternity and that I may have the enjoyment of God through Christ for there is nothing else can give real comfort to any Soul I hope that the Lord hath begun a good work in me and that he will make it perfect in the end and that he will sanctifie his dealings towards me that it may be for his glory and my eternal comfort and I desire that my will may be throughly resigned up into the will of God either for life or death and that I may have much of Gods presence with me and may always have good thoughts of him and of his dealings towards me in all that he doth or shall lay upon me and that I may improve all his mercies for his glory and my eternal comfort and that when he is pleased to put an end to this temporal life that my Soul may be fitted for Spiritual and eternal life in Jesus Christ O now that people would seriously think what shall become of their Souls considering how great the multitude is that go in the broad way that leadeth to destruction and how few there be that enter in at the strait gate that leadeth unto life as Mat. 7.13 14. We have but a little time to live here in this world and that is of very great concernment that we should make a good improvement of it eternity doth depend upon it as we live here so it will be with us to eternity we are now brought upon the Stage of this world here to act our parts for a whole eternity if we make not a wise choice now we are undone for ever What our present choice is such must our everlasting condition be Luk. 10.42 Luk. 16.25 Now is your time to repent of your sins and to make peace with God it cannot be done after death now is the time that Christ is offered unto you and if you will not receive him now you shall never have any part in him hereafter now is the day of Salvation 2 Cor. 6.2 Now is the time you may be accepted of by God and therefore do not stop the mouth of Conscience for if you do it will be the greatest Witness against you hereafter then it will tare and lash you and be a continual torment For their worm shall not die neither shall their fire be quenched Isa 66.24 If you now refuse the calls of God your conscience will continually accuse you hereafter therefore have a care do not refuse to hearken to Gods call for it you refuse now you shall never have any calls nor invitations from God hereafter Have you any business any concern of greater importance to you than the concern of your souls and eternity If you are to appear before some earthly Judg especially if it be about a matter that concerns your life O how thoughtful are you to have all things ready and in order in reference thereunto and should not you be as thoughtful and as careful to make all ready and to set all right in order to your appearing before the Judg of all the earth and that about a matter which concerns the life of your souls about a matter of eternal life or death Well what shall I say Will you set about this great business this great concern Or is it all one with you whether you live or die are saved or damned to all eternity Oh that people would consider how near they are to eternity How near we are to our everlasting habitation You are all going down amain the stream of time into the great ocean and you will shortly come thither There is not a step you step nor a breath you draw nor a word you speak nor a moment of time you live but hath an influence upon eternity Oh now that unconverted sinners would set about this great work to prepare for their souls and eternity before they go hence and be no more in this world Sinners will you set about this great business Your work is wholly yet to do tho it may be your day far spent your glass is almost run your sun near setting and all your work to do Oh 't is high time for
you to awake out of your sleep unless you mean to sleep the sleep of eternal death These golden sands running will quickly be gone a short race will soon be run O what a nothing is our life as one may say a span a dream a wind a shadow a vapour a post swifter than a post Job 7.6 You are all going to your long and last home to the house of eternity Every man goeth to his long home Eccles 12.5 How doth he go He goeth swiftly always in motion night and day sleeping and waking labouring or loitering this post hastens time and tide stays not Man doth not discern or perceive how his precious time doth fly from him And we know not how soon all our precious time will be gone from us we know not how soon our souls shall be separated from our bodies We know not how soon we shall pass into eternity And Oh that people would consider which of the two eternities they are going towards Oh that they would deeply and seriously consider that there is one place for the sheep and another for the goats one place for the righteous and another for the ungodly one place for believers and another for unbelievers An eternal night or eternal day eternal pains or eternal pleasure eternal happiness or eternal misery eternal life or eternal death eternal Heaven or eternal Hell Oh that my dear Brethren and Sisters would truly and sincerely seek after the welfare of their precious and immortal Souls now while it is time My dear Brethren and Sisters I have many times had great fears and cares about your precious Souls as you are nearest related to me so you are nearest to my heart I could desire that all men would turn from their sins and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and close with him that so they may have life and salvation by him but my greatest desire is for you my hearts desire and prayer to God for you is that you might be saved My dear Brothers and Sisters great is the misery of an unregenerate estate without regeneration repentance conversion and holiness none can be saved and see God as in John 3.3 5. and Luk. 13.3 5. Except ye repent ye shall all likewise perish And Heb. 12.14 Without holiness there is none shall see the Lord and a carnale state is an estate of death Rom. 8.6 And if ye live after the flesh ye shall die ver 13. And the Apostle saith love not the world neither the things that are in the world for if any man love the world the love of the Father is not in him 1 John 2.15 Know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God Whoseever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God Jam. 4.4 Now if any man be in Christ he is a new creature old things are past away behold all things are become new 2 Cor. 15.17 and as many as are led by the Spirit of God they are the Sons of God Rom. 8.14 Oh that you would consider and meditate upon these and such like Texts of Scripture and try your selves thereby how it is with you Mr. Joseph Alleins book of conversion might prove a great help with the Lords assistance and blessing and there are many other good books that might prove a help to you herein which the Lord direct you unto and that you may read and consider and lay it to heart and that you would search narrowly into your own hearts and the Lord of Heaven grant that his heavenly and spiritual blessing may rest upon you all I have many times desired the Lord for you that he would cause you to see the great evil of sin and to close savingly with Christ and receive him upon his own terms and that you may be regenerated and born again that you may be truly converted unto God that you may receive forgiveness of sins and that your souls may be truly sanctified that you may all be redeemed by the Blood of Christ and may be justified by faith in him and that the Lord would sanctifie his dealings towards you that it may be for his glory and your good and that you may live to the praise and glory of God and be comforted in him to all eternity Oh now that you would give up your selves to God resign up your selves in Covenant to him through Jesus Christ for ever to be his to walk in his wayes to be guided by his laws to be ruled and directed by him at all times that you might never depart from him Oh that you would truly prepare for death and eternity Make a true preparation for death and then you will be in a well set way to live for till people are prepared for death they are not well fit to live Oh now you should give up your selves to God by prayer pray heartily to God that he would come in with converting and sanctifying Grace into your souls Draw nigh to God and he will draw nigh to you Jam. 4.8 The Lord is very near to them that call upon him intruth and will never leave nor forsake such as put their trust in him He that neglects prayer is an unsanctified sinner they that neglect prayer cannot expect the blessing of God on either soul or body All they that are the adopted children of God they have the spirit of prayer in them whosoever is born of God can in some measure express himself to God and cry unto him for pardon of sin for grace for peace of conscience with earnestness and confidence in God Rom. 8.15 For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear but ye have received the spirit of adoption whereby we cry Abba Father Now this spirit of bondage and fear it is the Spirit of God there is a spirit of bondage once in all they that are the true people of God working fear in them and afterwards it doth become a spirit of adoption unto them First the Spirit of God doth convince people of their sins it shews them the evil of sin and so brings them in fear and bondage about their sins and afterwards the Spirit of God doth comfort their Souls people must be convinced before they be converted they must be sensible of their sins and pricked to the heart before they will ask what they must do to be saved Act. 2.37 And then afterwards the Spirit of God doth come in with comfort to their souls then the Spirit of God causeth them to cry Abba Father that is to make their request to God as to a Father Prayer is a duty that doth lie upon all people and God doth accept weak prayers from his children if they be sincere There are many Hypocrites that can make better prayers that can express themselves in prayer better than many of Gods chosen ones but God doth reject them because they are not sincere Prov. 15.8 The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the
Lord but the prayer of the upright is his delight We must pray with fervency and with reverence and confidence with fervency that is with the earnest defires of our hearts crying Abba Father with reverence that is we must reverence and honour God in our hearts Mal. 1.6 and Psal 89.7 And with considence that is we must trust wholly in God through Christ Heb. 10.22 Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith Mar. 11.24 We must desire the Lord that he would enable and help and assist us to pray aright and acceptably unto him Rom. 8.26 The Spirit helpeth our infirmities for we cannot pray as we ought It is against the light of nature against reason for people to neglect to pray unto the God that made them and that giveth them all their good things If you cannot well pray of your selves the Lord will help you to do it if you be earnest and willing if you be sensible of your sins you will not want words in confession if you be sensible of your wants you will not lack expressions to make them known The Scriptures will furnish you with expressions and matter if you read and study and mind them if you can groan and cry for Christ and Grace the Lord will hear and help you We have all great need to pray to God for pardon of our sins for we are often defiled with sin and we have often need to pray to God for the pardon and purging away of our sins and for the sanctifying of our Souls and it is a great priviledge that we have a God and Father to pray unto and that will hear us when we call upon him Now we should lay aside every weight and the sin which doth so easily beset us Heb. 12.1 Sin will quickly beset us if we have not a special care to resist and strive against it And we must resolve upon sufferings for Christ if called thereunto He that endureth to the end the same shall be saved Mat. 24.13 All that will live godly in Christ Jesus must suffer persecution and tho affliction be heavy yet it will work a far more exceeding and eternal weight of Glory 2 Cor. 4.17 Rev. 3.21 Joh. 16.33 Rom. 8.17 18. If we suffer with him we shall be glorified with him And we must persevere and hold out in the ways of God unto our lives end we must be stedfast and unmoveable and ever abounding in the work of the Lord knowing that our labour is not in vain in the Lord. I would have enlarged more but am prevented for want of * It being on a single sheet thick and close written on both sides space My dear Brothers and Sisters I commend you to God and to the word of his Grace which is able to convert and build you up and give you an inheritance among them that are sanctified Now the God of peace that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus that Great Shepherd of the Sheep through the Blood of the everlasting Covenant make you perfect in every good work to do his will working in you that which is well pleasing in his sight through Jesus Christ to whom be Glory for ever and ever Amen Heb. 13.20 21. I desire that what I have here written may tend to the Glory of God and your souls good and comfort Your Affectionate Sister Damaris Pearse 1678. Some of her expressions in her last Sickness Some of the pious expressions of Damaris Pearse occasionally uttered after she was confined to her bed many of them spoken when she was in so very great pain that it was difficult for her to speak intelligibly with some observations on them and concerning her worth minding FOR some few days after she kept her bed she would often breathe out O spare me a little before I go hence and be no more The two first days she had two or three extreme sharp †Paroxisms fits or agonies so sharp that the like were never seen by any then present She had some sence of their approach for immediately before they came she would have all in the room to pray to God for her that that bitter crp might pass and so again and again every time after the first †Paroxisme fit was past she said This is not the last I shall have more but none so bad as that that is past and so it was and these †Paroxisms fits on her continued just so long as there was then * It may be Satan the grand enemie of prayer was permitted then more than at other times to have some agency therein to make disturbance and to shorten that exercise and to disswade and discourage from the like afterwards praying for her And in regard she used one phrase every time she would have others pray for her which was that that bitter cup might pass one that stood by asked her what she meant thereby she replied The Cup of Gods Wrath which in that agony she apprehended and felt in her Soul And a few days after she again declared that it was not to be expressed what therein she suffered that she felt the very wrath of God but even therein the Lord said she upheld me and since hath given me a Prospest and a view of the Glory of Heaven And some time after she kept her bed speaking of the many experiences that she had had sometimes how sad it had been with her when under apprehension of Gods displeasure for sin but within a short while after God did refresh and comfort her even with unspeakeable joy but never so much at any one time as since confined to her bed She would often advise those that visited her and those that watcht by her in their health to mind their latter end and to prapare for it and eternity which they were as she said hastning and nigh unto and sent such messages to some others that had enquired for her whom she had not seen a long time as by a near †M. C. Relation to those at her home go said she tell all the wicked ones in your house that they prepared for a long eternity often repeating it and chargingher so to do The like she charged another * I. P. neighbour then present to tell a near †V. T. P. Relation and his Family And the same charge she gave a †M. W. third to tell another †V. I. W. Relation and his family yea she charged all almost that came into her presence to mind eternity and to keep good consciences and to consider how time was hastning away making improvement of every thing she saw or heard and desired others to do the like and all to stir up to prepare for eternity She would be speaking either some sentence of Scripture or some other good words that were very suitable to such as were present or suitable to what was mentioned occasionally in her hearing urging to do
good to repent and to prepare for death To one that is a rich Heiress she spake somewhat long unto Thus Those that are rich said she have a great priviledg for the advantage of ther Souls and to do good before others that are poor but yet said she the poorest person that is tho he have not clothes to his back if he have Grace is in a thousand times better condition than the richest man that lives for God hath chosen the poor of this world rich in faith Heirs of the Kingdom whereas you know that the rich man in the Gospel when his goods increased he inlarged his barns and he thought he had laid up for many years and thereupon bid his Soul take its ease saying eat drink and be merry but God said unto him Thou fool This night thy Soul shall be required of thee then whose shall these things be which thou hast provided He thought himself rich but God accounted him a miserable fool O that such would remember what Christ said when he beheld Jerusalem and wept over it O that thou hadst known even thou at least in this day the things which belong unto thy peace O that such would mind this before peace be hid from their eyes For then it will be sad with them notwithstanding all their riches with much more spoken then to the like purpose To * F. P. one that visited her at her farewell she spake thus Remember you must shortly appear before the Great Judge of all the world Once when several young †I and V. A and T. O and I. VV folk that were related visited her After some little discourse she held up her arm which was then very lean and small her flesh being much wasted This said she was once full and prosperous look upon it and while your bones are full of marrow and you have strength improve it for God and prepare for eternity Much more she spake unto them To others she said There is a pretty little Text thus she often called it before she exprest it afterward she said It is this Take ye heed watch and pray for ye know not when the time is Is it not a very good one and will you remember it Concerning her improving of what she heard and saw Once hearing a little Sister sent down on an errand and bid make haste said she Why so hasty with the little one but yet remember not slothful in business fervent in Spirit serving the Lord chiefly mind this latter and yet forget not the former Another time hearing one of the little ones in a morning mentioning meat and bread O said she The living bread is he on high That down from Heaven came And he shall live and never die That eateth of the same Next of her improvement of the shining of the Sun and its Shadow passing round the Bed-post in the forenoon on one side in the afternoon on the other side thereof O said she look and consider how the shadow that a few hours since was on that side the bed now is on this side it should mind you how time hastens away So by the motion of the Clock altho the striking weight was taken off many moneths before she kept her bed she not being able to bear the noise thereof every motion therof said she should mind us how time passeth yea every breath you draw you have one breath less to draw and one breath nearer eternity than before O mind these things and learn thereby to prepare for eternity And so concerning her own sickness and pain some weeks after she kept bed she would often speak it with abundance of confidence when in extremity of pain that it was not for her own sake that she was continued so long in such torturing pain but for your sakes said she to those then present and for the sake of all that visit me and all round about that know me or that shall hereafter hear of me and of my sickness that you and they all may by me be warned to make preparation for eternity while in your health and strength before sickness and pain seize on you for then it is no sit time or case to prepare for death and eternity how unsit am I now to prepare for death and eternity were it not done before Of such like improvements made by her you may have more anon Being heard often say I hope in God and I trust in God and the Lord is my Portion saith my Soul therefore will I hope in him and sometimes the same as in the Hymn Thus The Lords my Portion saith my Soul Therefore my hopes on him shall roul Whereupon one asked her if she knew how long since it was that she set her heart wholly to seek and serve the Lord There was no reply then from her she not being able to speak for so it was with her sometimes near a whole day together but a while after tho with much difficulty she spake saying As near as I can remember it was about four years and half since that I really and heartily in a solemn Covenant gave my self to God and about three quarters of a year afterwards I renewed and confirmed it before many others meaning at the Lords Supper as she afterwards more fully expressed her self She would much bemoan and lament her unserviceableness to God when sick on her bed after this manner Here I lie idle and can do nothing for God I cannot pray or read or do any thing for God but said she as it was said to Samuel when sent to anoint one of Jesses sons Man looketh on the outward appearance but the Lord looketh on the heart and the Lord saith My Son give me thy heart The heart the Lord requireth and the heart the Lord accepteth and I have given up my heart wholly to the Lord and to him onely and the Lord hath accepted of it Concerning her endowments and attainments besides her great shill in and her ingenious dexterity ready invention quick dispatch and curious putting out of hand the choicest sort of needleworks and most other kinds of fine works such as young women often are exercised in whether with silk thread or other materials so great variety and plenty and so excellently done as is scarce credible of one so young as when by her made and finished and as in these so she was skilled in writing right spelling reading and of good understanding and all learnt by little instruction But besides all these Of her Gifts and Graces she was richly endowed with choice gifts and graces as to instance in some She was endowed with an excellent retentive Memory 1. Of her Memory as appeared not only by the many score Chapters and Psalms both reading and singing and spiritual Hymns and other Verses that she had read and heard and retained in her memory but chiefly in this while in health it was for several years her constant practise Lords dayes to
hear but not write and tho three miles distant from where she lived and she still walkt it when very young which made her weary at night yet next day she did in a very legible hand write most part of both Sermons that she had heard the day before both matter and method as delivered of which there are great multitudes left From this store house of her Memory as strength permitted and occasion was offered she spake many choice sentences of Scripture and now and then a verse or two of Psalms or Hymns in which while in health she much delighted and did even abound in but after on her bed not able to speak passing one or two at a time She would often breathe forth this ' Farewel vain world as thou hast been to me ' Dust and a Shadow those I leave with thee She likewise spake these following at several times ' Muse oft upon thy latter end ' The thoughts of death will make thee mend ' Account'st thou death a dreadful thing ' Which hath by Christ now lost its sting ' Glad are the Saints dissolv'd to be 'To live with Christ his face to see ' Vanquished death I wish were nigh ' It ends a Christians misery ' Exceeding welcome death 's to me ' Death will I meet I will not flee ' Quiet thy self thy day of death ' Excels that hour thou first tookst breath ' That deadly foe last foe of all ' At last shall have a deadly fall Presently after she spake this verse she smiled and said It shortly shall be so with reference to me Another time thus ' Each morning brings a fresh record ' Great is thy faithfulness O Lord. ' Rouze up thy sluggish Soul O man ' When first awake thou art ' O then let God and his concerns ' Be next unto thy heart Great noise was a great disturbance to her which yet was her lot many times to hear and suffer and O that it might not be laid to the charge of those that wilfully caused it Once upon such an occasion she ceased from what she was speaking I shall omit the circumstances which made that which she forthwith said the more suitable it was thus ' He well may quake and fear to die ' That in his filthy sins doth lie Once speaking of the misery of mankind by nature and of the blessedness of those whose sin is pardoned she said thus ' I do confess that I receiv'd ' My very shape in sin ' In it my mother me conceiv'd ' And brought me forth therein ' O blessed is the man to whom ' Are freely pardoned ' All the transgressions he hath done ' Whose Sin is covered To some that stood by she said ' Think upon God and thy poor soul ' And Christs appearance when ' The Graves must open dead must rise ' And whose shalt thou be then Yea to every word she heard or action she saw she would have either a verse or sentence of Scripture suitable Once being troubled at the idle talk of one present that after many requests would not desist she thus said He that being often reproved hardneth his heart shall suddenly be destroyed and that without remedy Another time when a person of quality visited her her head-clothes not having been righted for some time because of her weakness some of her hair was come out whereupon as she was able with her hand she said it aside but said she God hath not respect to the outward dress and adorning but to that which is on the hidden man of the heart She had great Zeal for God Of her hatred of sin and hatred against sin as appeared by several expressions One time hearing a little sister cry out O Lord she was exceedingly grieved that Gods name was taken in vain Another time the binder of her Issue being loosed on a Lords day evening assoon as it was known one that was with her righted and new bound it but was longer about it than she was willing whereupon she was much troubled that being so near eterniey any part of the †* Not that she was against the works of mercy on the Lords day but she then apprehended her self at the very point of her departure and did so wholly fix her thoughts on God and Christ that she wouldnvt therein be interrupteed yet she a little revived again and lived a few weehs afterward Lords day tho it was then almost gone should be spent about her flesh and said she I repent it heartily and do you pray that God would pardon it She would often beg of her sisters and mostly of her that most attended her to take heed of sin and of evil company and would have her promise no more to keep company with such an one naming one for said she she hath been and I fear yet is exceedingly wicked therefore beware of her company And likewise take heed of some others that you know for as Paul said Grievous wolves shall enter in among you not sparing the stock so now of and from among your selves that is of those that are near you shall some arise speaking perverse things to draw away others after them therefore watch Another time hearing of some great disorder of others and indeed it was so bad as is not fit to be mentioned among Christians O said she I am grieved and troubled for them at my very heart because of their sin and wickedness and provocation of the holy God Mine eyes are ready to run down rivers of tears because men keep not thy law but I can do them no good At another time thus O it grieveth it exceedingly grieveth me to think how many souls will be damned how many will be turned on the left hand among the goats that now will not be reclaimed but I must quiet my self for I am not in a capacity to help them Before she was sick she had a great detestation of sin and would much grieve for such as she saw and heard of but much more afterwards Concerning her knowledg in Scripture and in the things of God it was much for one of her sex so young and yet her self-denial humility and self-abasement was even wonderful As for her knowledg Of her Knowledg it is evident by what may be collected from the whole of what she spake and wrote that it was great both in Scripture and by experience not only in the letter and text of Scripture but also in the sense thereof When she had any ease she would run over continuing the space of two or three hours together either the History of some whole book in the Bible or some eminent story or transaction contained therein and hint at some notable observations by the way Once she talked long concerning the Israelites bondage in Egypt and miraculous deliverance from thence and their passage thorow the Red-Sea and preservation and supportment in the wilderness and safe conduct into Canaan As she proceeded besides other hints