Write ye this man and this woman childless the punishment had not been so great as to be afflicted with wicked children such parents may say with our Saviour in another case Luke 23.29 Blessed are the barren and the wombs that never bare and the paps which never gave suck As it 's better to have no herbs in your gardens than to have only stinking-weeds that cumber the ground and better to have no beasts in your ground than a company of foxes and wolves so it 's better to have no children than to have only such who are the continual shame and plague and torment of their parents 2. It 's a greater misery than to have diseased or deformed children This indeed is a sore affliction to be the parents of sick or blind or lame or monstrous children because such children are naturally disabled to do that service to God and their generation and their parents which otherwise they might do but this is not so grievous as to have wicked children for they that are most diseased and uncomely are often called to be the blessed and glorious children and heirs of God and the amiable and beautiful bride and spouse of Christ when all wicked children are the filthy and loathsome children of the devil 3. This is more grievous than the death of children I know it's matter of deep sorrow when parents may say with the tender Patriarch Gen. 42.36 Joseph is not and Simeon is not My son is dead and is not and my dear daughter is dead and is not but this sorrow is not lasting the impression of it usually doth and should wear off but wicked children are constant troubles to their parents and cause them to say with the Psalmist Psal 31.10 My days are spent with grief and my years with sighing 4. This calamity is greater than persecution from wicked men though that be also very grievous insomuch that Paul a man of a great spirit was so affected herewith that he solemnly beseecheth the Roman Christians Rom. 15.30 For the Lord Jesus sake and for the love of the Spirit that they would strive together with him in prayer to God for him to deliver him from persecutingmen it is a sad case to be smitten and wounded in our names by lying and slanderous tongues David and Christ in him tells us Psal 69.20 That reproach hath broken his heart It is sad for the jewels of God to be accounted and used as the sink and jakes of the world and to have our estates wasted and spoyl'd and to be expos'd to beggery and want and to be drag'd from our healthful and pleasant habitations and families and to be cast among rogues and thieves into nasty and loathsome prisons and to have our innocent and precious blood shed by barbarous men but all this is not so grievous as to be tormented by wicked children for in that case we are distressed by the sins of our enemies and if so as David speaks Psal 55.12 We could have born it But in this case we are afflicted by the sins of our own children and may say with David when he was reviled by Shimei 2 Sam. 16.11 Behold my son which came forth of my bowels seeketh my life how much more may this Benjamite It is a far greater torment to have the children of our own bowels tear and break our hearts than to be destroy'd by merciless enemies Fourthly The greatness of this calamity is seen in that it causeth these good parents to do all their work with sorrow I shall instance in three sorts of Works which they do in the bitterness of their Souls 1. Natural 2. Civil 3. Religious Works He that hath a wicked child on his heart doth all these with a sad heart 1. Natural Works these they do with sorrow They are fed with the bread of tears and drink their tears in great measure as the Psalmist speaks in another case Psal 80.5 And as it 's said in the prayer of the afflicted Psal 102.9 They eat ashes like bread and mingle their drink with weeping 2. They do their Civil Works with grief this makes them labour with sorrow in their particular callings it was Solomons trouble to think that a fool should have the rule of his labour wherein he laboured and shewed himself wise under the Sun Eccles 2.18 19 20. And this sad case is often observ'd that the same estates which were the fruit of the wise and good parents prayers and diligence are consum'd upon the childrens lusts and that the good creatures which were a blessing to the parents and wherewith they did honour God and feed Christ in his members do prove a curse to their children and weapons in their hands wherewith they sight against God and his people 3. This also causeth them to do their Religious Works in grief and sorrow I shall only instance in two particulars 1. This makes them instruct these poor ungodly children with sorrow It is a doleful case when men can have their dogs to come at their whistle and their horses to yield to the bridle and their oxen to submit to the yoke but their unruly children will not be subject to the holy government of their parents they can readily learn filthy words and wicked actions from their ungodly School-fellows or Fellow-apprentices or debauch'd companions but they will not hear the instruction of their father nor obey the law of their mother 2. This causeth them to pray for such children with sorrow for according as is the spiritual state of the children so are their holy parents affected in prayer to God for them when they can in prayer call upon God as the Father of their children and can present their children to God as such who are born of God and adopted of him and can beg mercy for them who are the vessels of mercy then they do as the Apostle for the Philippians Chap. 1.4 In every prayer make request for them with joy but when children are manifestly wicked and their good parents must in prayer to God call them what they are and must say Lord my poor children are children of the devil children of disobedience children of thy wrath lying swearing covetous drunken unclean stubborn children Oh pity pardon save convert them they pray for them but they pray in the sorrow and anguish of their souls Fifthly I come to shew how wicked children embitter all the comforts of their good parents so that as Solomon tells us Prov. 17.21 A father of a fool hath no joy I shall exemplifie this in four particulars 1. The good parents cannot be so comfortable and delightful to one another as they would be when both are in bitterness for their wicked children the husband cannot be such a comfort to his wife when he is almost in continual anger and sorrow for his wicked child nor the wife such a delight to her husband when her heart is bleeding for her ungodly child for if they have no joy in themselves as
3. I shall give you several instances for the confirmation of it 1. I shall only give you two main Characters of godly Parents First They are conscienciously careful for their preservation Secondly For the Eternal happiness and salvation of their Children 1. They are conscienciously careful for the preservation of the natural lives of their Children as trees support and feed the branches that grow out of themselves And as it 's natural to the brutes to defend and keep their own young so nature it self teacheth and inclineth Parents to defend and preserve and provide for the fruit of their own bodies and for this end to supply them with food raiment and physick and to fit them for callings and seasonably to provide for them meet yokefellows and every way to take care that they neither perish or be made miserable but godly Parents in whom natural affections are sanctified and improved by Grace do all these out of a principle of Godliness as persons who have to do with God herein they do it in a sense of their dependance on God and pray for daily bread to feed their Children and are thankful when they feel it come warm from their Father in Heaven they do it in obedience and faithfulness to God and with a design that their Children may live to be born of God and to be a blessing to this world and be blessed in the other world As for those unnatural monsters who feed their lusts with that which should maintain their Children they are so far from being Godly Parents that they are worse than Infidels in not providing for their Families and are like the Devil who as I said is a Murderer of his own Children 2. They are conscienciously careful for the Eternal happiness and salvation of their Children for their natural affections being now sanctified do work in them for the spiritual good and happiness of their Children Prov. 4.3 4 5. I was my fathers son tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother Solomon was his fathers and mothers darling their love did run out exceedingly upon this son and he tells us which way their love and kindness was express'd he taught me also and said unto me Get wisdom get understanding He tells us also how the affections of his good mother did work Prov. 31.2 3. What my son and what the son of my womb and what the son of my vows The son of her womb was the son of her vows whom she had devoted to God those Parents who have known both states the state of Wrath and the state of Grace and have experimentally felt what it is to pass from death to life and from the kingdom of Satan into the kingdom of God cannot but desire that the same change be wrought upon their children And as they who love themselves with a holy love do take God for their eternal life and happiness and Christ for their Redeemer to redeem them from all evil and to bring them to this happiness and the Spirit for their Sanctifier to fit them for this happiness So they that love their children with this holy Love will desire and endeavour that they be partakers with them of the same happiness 2. I proceed to give you three Characters of ungodly Children 1. They are such Children as will not be subject to the authority of their Parents The reverence of Children to their Parents is so incorporated into the whole body of Religion that all Religion is in vain without it this fully appears Levit. 19.3 Ye shall fear every man his mother and his father and keep my sabbaths I am the Lord your God Observe this duty is here joyn'd with keeping the Lords Sabbaths wherein Religion did always very much consist but it 's often seen that disobedient children are great prophaners of the Lords-day they are always bad but usually worst on that day and some of them may remember that their first breaking out into scandalous sins was on the Lords-day We are here further taught That this duty of Reverence to Parents is joyn'd with all Religion to God for saith God in effect it 's in vain for any to pretend to call me their Lord and their God if they do not fear their Parents and theresore wicked children are numbred among the most flagitious and worst sinners Ezek. 22.7 In thee have they set light by father and mother they villified and despised them and made nothing of them such break all the bonds of Religion and many hasten through a shameful and untimely death into a dreadful and tormenting eternity whose wickedness first began in scorning and despising their Parents 2. They are such children as will not obey the Commands of their Parents The godly Commands of Parents are the means which God hath appointed and doth often bless to make the children godly Gen. 18.19 I know Abraham that he will command his children and his houshold after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord to do justice and judgment and God commands all children to obey all the holy and lawful commands of their parents Ephes 6.1 Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right It 's the parents right that their children should obey them and it 's Gods right that they should obey them in the Lord and this saith the Apostle Col. 3.21 is well-pleasing to the Lord so that those children do neither fear provoking God nor care to please him who will not obey their parents and so are children of their parents sorrow and of Gods wrath 3. They are such children as are unthankful to their parents the Apostle tells us 1 Tim. 5.4 That it is good and acceptable before God for children to requite their parents and they have great things for which they should labour to requite their godly parents viz. for all their care and cost and pains to keep them alive and for all their diligence and faithfulness in endeavouring to make them blessed and all the requital which the poor parents desire is that their children would but love and obey God and not damn themselves but these ungodly children are so far from requiting them that like so many Dogs and Lyons they tear in pieces the hearts and bowels of their tender parents 3. I now come to confirm this That it 's ordinary for godly parents to have ungodly children and for this end I shall first give you some instances recorded in Scripture 2dly I shall instance in several cases wherein this is verified 1. I shall only give you four instances recorded in Scripture for the confirmation hereof 1. Instance is in Adam and Eve these were both godly parents and therefore in that first Evangelical promise Gen. 3.15 we have notice of the two great parties in the world the one was the Woman and her seed and the other the Serpent and his seed and of the enmity betwixt them and though there is only mention made of the woman yet the man
godly Ministers in all ages have groan'd under this sad calamity Eli was a holy Priest of God but his two sons were Devils incarnate monsters of men scandalous sacrilegious and adulterous sons of Belial as appears 1 Sam. 2. And this is no rare thing that the Prayers Studies Sermons Examples of many good Ministers are often made successful to bring others to Heaven when they can by no means restrain their own children from running to Hell and their own children make them do the work of their Ministry with grief when often the children of drunkards worldlings and whoremongers will be their crown and glory in the day of the Lord Jesus 3. This is often true when both parents are godly indeed when either father or mother is wicked no marvel if the children be hardned in their sins by their examples but it 's usually seen that when children have both the instruction of the father and also the law of the mother and when they cry to all the Ministers and Christians about them to help them by their prayers and counsels to save their children yet all prevail not but the holy father and mother can scarce keep one anothers hearts from being broken by their stubborn and disobedient children 4. The children of godly parents often prove wicked when God doth sanctifie and bless and save the children of ungodly parents we see sometimes trees of righteousness growing in the families of the wicked when briars and thorns grow up in the families of the righteous We read Matth. 1. that Ahaz a very wicked king begat holy Hezekiah and good Hezekiah begat Manasseh who was an Idolater of the highest rate a Witch and such a bloody murderer that the Chronicle of his reign tells us 2 Kings 21.16 He shed innocent blood very much till he had filled Jerusalem from one end to the other though afterwards he is set forth to be the greatest pattern of the grace of God in the Old Testament as Paul is in the New Testament It is no new sight to see children of the best Saints in the way to Hell and children of Atheists and Persecutors in the way to Heaven Nay though some parents do persecute their own children for loving and fearing God yet they cannot debauch them when all endeavours of godly parents will not prevail to make their children hate sin and love God and this is one of the saddest instances of that great mystery of Providence mentioned Eccles 8.14 There he just men to whom it happeneth according to the work of the wicked again there be wicked men to whom it happeneth according to the work of the righteous 2. Head It is a very great calamity to godly parents to have wicked and ungodly children A foolish son saith the text is a grief to his father and bitterness to her that bare him To the same purpose is that Prov. 17.21 He that begetteth a fool doth it to his sorrow and the father of a fool hath no joy a foolish son damps all his joy and Prov. 19.13 A foolish son is the calamity of his father I shall set forth the greatness of this trouble by these Eight particulars 1. By the matter of these parents grief 2. By the passions that this calamity doth move and affect 3. By comparing this with other afflictions and shewing how this exceeds them 4. By shewing that this makes these parents do all their work with grief and sorrow 5. By shewing that this embitters all their other comforts 6. By the sad concommitants of it 7. By the several aggravations of it 8. By instancing in some cases wherein this calamity is more grievous First The matter of these parents grief is very sad as appears in these seven things 1. That their children are so defiled and debauched with sin which is so loathsome to these holy parents it vexed the righteous soul of Lot to see and hear the filthy conversation of the beastly Sodomites how grievous then must it be to these godly parents to see and hear the filthiness of their own dear children it is a grievous thing to a man that loves God and Godliness and Souls to see a drunkard staggering in the streets or to hear any man blaspheming and reproaching his Maker and Redeemer but none can tell but those that feel it what a sad spectacle it is to sober and godly parents to see their own children drunk or how it torments them to hear their own children lying and blaspheming God and his Saints 2. That their children are the children of the Devil and under the power of Satan and ridden by him and carried captive by him at his will it was a lamentable case of that good Mother who came to Christ saying Matth. 15.22 Have mercy upon me O Lord thou son of David my daughter is grievously vexed with a devil yet this was not her daughters sin but only her great affliction but how doleful is it to these parents who have renounced the devil themselves and live in continual warfare with him to see the hearts and mouths and lives of the children whom they have devoted to God fill'd and possess'd with the devil whose children they are and whose lusts they will do if the devil tempt the parents their own graces will resist and overcome his temptations but they cannot secure their children from being overcome and from falling into the condemnation of the devil but with sad hearts do see the Lyon of Hell running away with the lambs of their flock and cannot recover them 3. That their children are under the wrath and curse of God it did sadly affect the father of that lunatick son mentioned Matth. 17.15 to see his son fall oft into the fire and oft into the water How would he screech at such a sight and cry Ah my dear child will be burnt my child will be drown'd but much more terrible is it to these parents who know the terrors of the Lord to know that their children have cut off the entail of the Covenant of Grace and are every moment ready to fall into the hands of the living God! when such parents are with faith reading the curses of Gods Law how doth it cut them to the heart to think that they are then reading their childrens doom 4. That their children are under those black characters which are given in Scripture to ungodly men for the faith of these parents makes all persons have that name in their hearts which they have in the Word And as God is no respecter of persons so Faith so far as it prevails respecteth not the persons of any no not of a mans own children but because they are more under their notice and observation than others and because they are more concern'd for them therefore the deeper impressions do these characters make on their hearts so that this is the misery of these parents that whilest they look on persons through the glass of the Scriptures and see many to be the
Observe what sins your children are most prone unto and labour to fill them with revenge and hatred against those sins If your child have a foot or hand gangren'd ye will cut off the incurable member rather than bury your child so ye should do what ye can to pull out the right eye and to cut off the right hand and the right foot of sin in your children rather than suffer their bodies and souls to be cast into Hell As ye should especially kill those sins in your selves which your natures are most inclin'd unto so ye should do by your children who are so great a part of your selves we are taught Prov. 20.11 That even a child is known by his doing whether his work be pure or whether it be right Parents may much discern by the manners and ways of their children in their childhood what they are like to prove in their riper years and therefore they must observe them that they may encourage them in the good and discourage them in the evil which they then appear to be most bent unto 3. Chuse to place your children in families of holiness and prayer ye will not plant your trees among briars and thorns much less should ye chuse to place your children to serve those who will not serve God 4. Give them due correction this hath God commanded to kill their sins and to save their souls Prov. 23.13 14. Withhold not correction from the child for if thou beatest him with the rod he shall not dye thou shalt beat him with the rod and shalt deliver his soul from hell It is better thy child be whipt than damn'd and let not thy childs weeping and crying under the rod move thee to withhold due correction Prov. 19.18 Chasten thy son and let not thy soul spare for his crying If your childs bone be out of joint ye will have it set though he cry and bawl under the hand of the Surgeon and will say It 's better he cry now than be lame so long as he lives so it is better your children cry now under the rod of their father than that they should weep and wail for ever under the wrath of the infinite God and therefore that ye may perform this duty take these five Directions 1. Do not allow your servants to correct your children for correction is an act of authority and therefore cannot belong to those who are meerly your servants I would not have parents to permit their children to despise and abuse their servants but for parents to suffer their servants to correct their children is the way to make their children stubborn their servants proud and themselves contemptible in the eyes of both 2. Convince them that it is your duty to correct them for their sins and therefore it is adviseable that you make them get those Scriptures without book which bind you to correct them also some of those Scriptures which condemn the sins which you correct them for that their consciences may justifie you in doing your duty and that they may be more afraid of sin than the rod and of provoking God than offending you 3. Correct them betimes Prov. 13.24 and Prov. 19.18 Chasten thy son while there is hope Use the rod wisely to them before they become scourges and scorpions to you 4. Labour to be in a good frame when you correct them that love and prudence and meekness and not rage and fury may govern the rod and do not exercise too much severity towards them that ye may not provoke them to wrath lest the wrath of the children prove the grief of the parents 5. Pray to God for a blessing upon your correcting them that it may be effectual to drive out that foolishness which is bound up in their hearts Lastly Be good examples to your children let them not see you in any sin for that may infect them and make them despise you but let them always see you shining in the Image of God and that is the way to make them honour and obey you in the Lord live so that ye may say to them as Paul to the Philippians Chap. 4.9 Those things which ye have both learned and received and heard and seen in us do and the God of love and peace shall be with you 2dly I proceed to direct those parents who are under this calamity how to bear it 8 Directions 1. Abhor it as a great sin to faint under this affliction that is either to be disabled for thy duty or to sink in thy comforts for it 's a sign that thou didst place too much of thy happiness in thy children if their wickedness make thee faint under this calamity I shall only plead with thee as Joab did with David when he made that bitter lamentation for his son Absolom 2 Sam. 19.6 Thou hast declared this day that thou regardest neither princes nor servants So I say to thee thou hereby declarest that thou regardest not God and Christ if thy soul faint under the burden of a disobedient child 2. Consider what I have proved that this is an affliction which ordinarily befalls Gods dearest children ye must not think of this as if ye were the first godly parents of ungodly children or as if herein some strange thing happened unto you I confess where a calamity seems singular or extraordinary it is more apt to overwhelm the afflicted because they will be then apt to think that there is some extraordinary displeasure in God against them and to say with the Church Lam. 4.12 Behold and see if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow wherewith the Lord hath afflicted me in the day of his fierce anger But this affliction is ordinary and is consistent with the saving and distinguishing grace of God to them and is a rod that hath usually lain on the lot of the righteous 3. Consider that there might have befal'n thee greater miseries than this I shall instance in three greater Evils which would have made thee more miserable 1. Thou mightest have been a wicked an ungodly wretch thy self and for the great Jehovah to have curs'd and damn'd thee for ever would have made thee unspeakably more miserable than to be tormented a while with a wicked child 2. Thou mightest have had an ungodly yoke-fellow to be as rottenness in thy bones Solomon seems to speak of a troublesome yoke-fellow as more grievous than a wicked child Prov. 19.13 A foolish son is the calamity of his father and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping This is like the constant dropping of rain into a house which rots the building spoyls the goods and ruins both house and inhabitants and forasmuch as thy yoke-fellow is nearer and ought to be dearer to thee than thy child to be afflicted therein is a greater calamity 3. God might have left all your children to perish in their sins but if ye have but one godly child your joy in that should much abate your sorrow
Ye deny his Power in daring to war against him and like those hectoring Atheists Job 15.25 26. Ye stretch out your hands against God and strengthen your selves against the Almighty ye run upon him even on his neck upon the thick bosses of his buckler as if ye were able to fight God and overcome the Almighty Ye deny his Holiness and think that God is altogether such a one as your selves Psal 50.21 And that ye may not be terrified by your enmity and unlikeness to him ye will please your selves in fancying that God is like you as if ye must rather be a pattern to him than he be a pattern to you and so ye will perswade your selves that he is the God of Atheists and Whoremongers and Drunkards and Lyars and Thieves and not the holy God of a holy people Ye deny the Truth of God one of the greatest and best truths that ever God spake to man is that 1 Joh. 5.11 God hath given to us eternal life and this life is in his Son and yet herein ye would make him a liar in not believing this solemn record which he gave of Christ a liar is one of the worst characters of the devil and this ye give to the true and holy God These things I write as it were upon the brazen faces of all ungodly and disobedient children 2. Ye break the Covenant in refusing to take God for your God and happiness the greatest promise that ever God made to man is that Hebr. 8.10 I will be to you a God but this signifies nothing to you ye will not accept of him for your chief honour and treasure and joy it is no honour to you to have the great Jehovah for your Fâ—ther ye see no good in him and account not your selves the better for him and if ye lose him ye think ye lose nothing ye neither love nor desire him nor take any delight or pleasure in him 3. Ye have broken the Covenant in renouncing God the Father Son and Holy Ghost in whose Name ye were baptized your lives declare that ye had rather have the love of a debauch'd companion than the love of the Father of Jesus Christ ye despise the Lord Jesus and account the great price of redemption to be worth nothing and would rather keep your sins than be saved from them ye defie the wrath of God and scorn that the Mediator should make your peace with him ye resist the Holy Spirit and would rather be made filthy and wicked and be taught to lye and swear and steal than that the Spirit should teach you to love and serve and delight in God 4. Ye have broken the Covenant in taking part with the devil and the world and sin against the Father Son and Holy Ghost and this ye have done two ways 1. In believing the promises of the devil the world and sin and in not believing the promises of God the devil the world and sin are the three great cheats of mankind and they deceive men by making seemingly great and high promises and by these they have prevail'd with man to break both the Covenant of Works and the Covenant of Grace the devil tempted our first parents not to believe that word of God which he gave them to deter and keep them from sin which word is written Gen. 2.17 In the day thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely dye the devil tempted them to look on that word as a lye and makes them that great promise Genes 3.4 5. wherein he promiseth them that if they eat the forbidden fruit they shall not only be safe from all evil saying Ye shall not surely dye but that they shall also be preferr'd to greater happiness than God had then placed them in for saith he your eyes shall be opened and ye shall be as gods knowing good and evil and by believing this promise of the devil they brake the Covenant of Life and brought that deluge of sin and misery which came upon all mankind and since he prevail'd with men not to believe the word of God which he spake to keep them from sin and destruction now his work is to tempt them to make God a lyar in the word which he hath spoken to save them from sin and ruine by Jesus Christ and this is the word of the Covenant of Grace which promiseth eternal life and salvation to all that believe in Christ and repent of their sins and live the lives of new creatures according to the rules of the Gospel but the devil tempts men to break this Covenant by promising them life and all happiness in a course of sin and these wicked children believe the devil herein and bless themselves in their sins saying with those bold ranters Deut. 29.19 We shall have peace though we walk in the imagination of our own hearts to add drunkenness to thirst and thus ye break your Covenant with God and make a Covenant with Death and Hell 2. In obeying the devil the world and sin and in disobeying God ye call God your Father in heaven but ye do the lusts of the Devil your father in hell ye walk according to the course of this world Ephes 2.2 and are the servants of sin Rom. 6.20 and ye hate and fight against God your Maker and Redeemer and were it possible for you ye would every day kill him who only hath immortality And thus like a company of renegado's ye live as if ye were baptized in the name of the devil the world and the flesh to renounce the Father Son and Holy Ghost Secondly Ye have broken the Bonds of your duty to the Church of God ye were born members of the Church and subjects of the Kingdom of Jesus Christ and by baptism were solemnly admitted into that great and holy and victorious and blessed society Hebr. 12.22 23. Mount Sion the City of the living God the heavenly Jerusalem the general assembly and Church of the first-born written in heaven but ye have forsaken this Church and turn'd your selves out of the family and house of the living God and are become of the same party with the devil and his seed and have laboured to fill the world with sin and the kingdom of Satan and ye would have Jesus Christ to have no Name or Kingdom or Ministers or Ordinances or People in the world Thirdly Ye have broken the Bonds of your duty to your parents This appears in that those black characters already given of wicked children are found on you whereunto I shall add this one which includes all the particulars of your disobedience which can be mention'd namely Ye do not love your parents for love worketh no evil unto but always willeth and seeketh the good of the beloved Love ever inclines persons to please them whom they love and to love and delight in their company and causeth such looks and words and behaviour as are expressions of love how pleasant hath it been sometimes to me to see as it were