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lord_n according_a apprehension_n great_a 58 3 2.1235 3 false
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A85674 An historical anatomy of Christian melancholy, sympathetically set forth, in a threefold state of the soul. 1 Endued with grace, 2 ensnared in sin, 3 troubled in conscience. With a concluding meditation on the fourth verse of the ninth chapter of Saint John. / By Edmund Gregory, sometimes Bachelour of Arts in Trin. Coll. Oxon. Gregory, Edmund, b. 1615 or 16.; Marshall, William, fl. 1617-1650, engraver. 1646 (1646) Wing G1885; Thomason E1145_1; ESTC R40271 96,908 160

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new_a birth_n of_o the_o soul_n and_o that_o which_o we_o have_v great_a cause_n to_o rejoice_v of_o for_o you_o must_v understand_v it_o please_v god_n different_o to_o dispose_v of_o the_o final_a period_n and_o conclusion_n of_o this_o our_o trouble_n according_a to_o his_o most_o bless_a will_n and_o purpose_n give_v some_o of_o we_o much_o more_o joy_n in_o the_o end_n of_o it_o then_o some_o as_o also_o in_o some_o of_o we_o continue_v it_o like_o a_o ache_n in_o the_o limb_n ever_o now_o and_o then_o to_o mind_v we_o until_o our_o die_a day_n and_o some_o of_o we_o again_o after_o a_o while_o never_o feel_v it_o any_o more_o o_o lord_n what_o reward_n of_o thanks_o can_v we_o give_v unto_o thy_o mercy_n that_o have_v do_v so_o great_a thing_n for_o we_o whereof_o we_o now_o rejoice_v very_o no_o tongue_n can_v speak_v no_o finite_a understanding_n can_v comprehend_v it_o have_v never_o enter_v into_o the_o apprehension_n of_o either_o man_n or_o angel_n the_o infinite_a 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speculation_n of_o god_n of_o christ_n of_o eternity_n of_o the_o world_n to_o come_v etc._n etc._n the_o private_a leisure_n and_o holy_a silence_n of_o the_o mind_n fro●_n outward_a thing_n give_v such_o advantage_n to_o the_o soul_n to_o flee_v upward_o that_o for_o the_o present_a we_o be_v even_o deify_v with_o these_o glorious_a object_n and_o be_v become_v saintlike_a in_o our_o thought_n but_o when_o it_o come_v down_o again_o to_o the_o practic_a part_n for_o the_o conversation_n of_o ourlive_n when_o these_o speculation_n be_v to_o be_v actuate_v into_o a_o good_a behaviour_n lo_o than_o it_o prove_v that_o there_o be_v nothing_o at_o all_o in_o we_o of_o saint_n no_o not_o scarce_o of_o man_n or_o at_o leastwise_o of_o very_o weak_a and_o frail_a man_n then_o all_o that_o we_o can_v do_v be_v but_o to_o desire_v to_o keep_v ourselves_o from_o sin_n or_o to_o be_v unwilling_a to_o enter_v into_o temptation_n that_o that_o for_o the_o most_o part_n be_v the_o further_a we_o do_v proceed_v but_o to_o withstand_v and_o vanquish_v or_o put_v off_o sin_n be_v we_o seldom_o able_a in_o the_o le●st_a degree_n and_o therefore_o we_o may_v well_o a●k_v the_o question_n with_o saint_n paul_n who_o shall_v deliver_v we_o from_o this_o body_n of_o fin_n since_o the_o high_a period_n of_o strength_n tha●_n we_o do_v here_o attain_v unto_o be_v able_a to_o do_v little_a even_o so_o little_a that_o i_o may_v just_o say_v it_o be_v but_o as_o the_o shadow_n of_o something_o rather_o then_o anything_o and_o indeed_o altogether_o as_o it_o be_v nothing_o in_o reality_n though_o something_o in_o intention_n well_o now_o be_v in_o the_o state_n of_o repentance_n we_o can_v careful_o
all_o the_o day_n of_o my_o life_n and_o i_o will_v dwell_v in_o the_o house_n of_o the_o lord_n for_o ever_o so_o there_o be_v also_o another_o time_n when_o he_o say_v there_o be_v no_o health_n in_o my_o flesh_n because_o of_o thy_o displeasure_n neither_o be_v there_o any_o rest_n in_o my_o bone_n by_o reason_n of_o my_o sin_n my_o wound_n stink_n and_o be_v corrupt_a through_o my_o foolishness_n etc._n etc._n sin_n make_v such_o deep_a wound_n in_o the_o soul_n that_o if_o we_o foolish_o neglect_v to_o dress_v they_o often_o and_o tent_n they_o thorough_o they_o quick_o fester_v inward_o and_o prove_v dangerous_a and_o therefore_o just_o eonsider_v this_o dangerousnesse_n in_o the_o state_n of_o the_o soul_n to_o be_v usual_a among_o man_n and_o special_o in_o david_n that_o holy_a man_n that_o more_o than_o ordinary_a man_n even_o that_o man_n make_v aftet_fw-la god_n own_o heart_n as_o also_o remember_v the_o solicitous_a heed_n and_o care_n of_o that_o more_o excellent_a vessel_n of_o holiness_n s._n paul_n over_o himself_o in_o the_o word_n of_o he_o in_o the_o nine_o to_o the_o corinthian_n the_o 27._o verse_n lest_o that_o by_o any_o mean_n when_o i_o bave_v preach_v unto_o other_o i_o myself_o shall_v be_v a_o castaway_n it_o make_v we_o always_o methinks_v nor_o without_o cause_n to_o stand_v in_o fear_n of_o our_o spiritual_a condition_n not_o dare_v in_o our_o best_a comfort_n so_o to_o set_v ourselves_o at_o rest_n as_o though_o we_o be_v whole_o out_o of_o the_o reach_n of_o unhappiness_n the_o often_o trial_n of_o our_o patience_n our_o wise_o consider_v experience_n in_o heavenly_a thing_n together_o with_o the_o comfort_n of_o the_o scripture_n according_a to_o saint_n paul_n in_o his_o five_o and_o fifteen_o chapter_n to_o the_o roman_n may_v give_v we_o a_o strong_a and_o confident_a hope_n that_o we_o shall_v not_o enter_v into_o condemnation_n but_o through_o his_o mercy_n be_v save_v in_o the_o day_n of_o the_o lord_n for_o we_o be_v bold_o persuade_v that_o we_o be_v in_o god_n favour_n and_o persuade_v too_o i_o say_v persuade_v that_o neither_o life_n nor_o death_n nor_o angel_n nor_o any_o other_o creature_n shall_v be_v able_a to_o separate_v we_o from_o the_o love_n of_o god_n which_o be_v in_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o yet_o for_o all_o that_o we_o know_v we_o be_v now_o but_o on_o the_o sea_n not_o in_o the_o haven_n the_o sea_n of_o danger_n not_o the_o haven_n of_o perfect_a safety_n we_o can_v therefore_o be_v high_a mind_v in_o our_o thought_n but_o fear_v fear_v and_o careful_o take_v heed_n lest_o we_o fall_v special_o when_o as_o we_o be_v conscious_a to_o ourselves_o of_o a_o nature_n which_o be_v so_o weak_a so_o apt_a and_o ready_a to_o fall_v into_o the_o great_a and_o most_o dangerous_a sin_n o_o lord_n and_o most_o merciful_a father_n there_o be_v nothing_o perfect_a in_o this_o life_n here_o we_o have_v some_o joy_n and_o some_o sorrow_n some_o assurance_n some_o fear_n some_o knowledge_n some_o ignorance_n mingle_v together_o for_o now_o we_o know_v but_o not_o in_o part_n say_v the_o apostle_n hereafter_o we_o shall_v know_v to_o the_o full_a now_o our_o soul_n be_v only_o persuade_v of_o her_o future_a state_n she_o take_v some_o remote_a glimpse_n as_o it_o be_v of_o her_o salvation_n but_o no_o full_a sight_n thereof_o for_o we_o be_v save_v by_o hope_n say_v saint_n paul_n but_o hope_v that_o be_v see_v be_v not_o hope_n for_o what_o a_o man_n see_v why_o do_v he_o yet_o hope_v for_o hereafter_o when_o she_o have_v finish_v her_o course_n and_o fulfil_v her_o day_n she_o shall_v full_o know_v and_o be_v resolve_v in_o the_o matter_n &_o as_o we_o hope_v to_o be_v thorough_o satisfy_v with_o the_o everlasting_a enjoyment_n &_o therefore_o for_o the_o present_a condition_n of_o this_o our_o life_n we_o may_v take_v up_o that_o expression_n of_o the_o poet_n ante_fw-la obitum_fw-la nemo_fw-la supremaque_fw-la funcra_fw-la faelix_fw-la none_o be_v call_v happy_a right_o may_v before_o his_o last_o and_o die_a day_n you_o pious_a and_o devout_a soul_n that_o be_v now_o in_o the_o state_n of_o grace_n bless_v o_o bless_v the_o lord_n your_o god_n and_o magnify_v his_o name_n with_o all_o humility_n for_o what_o be_v it_o that_o all_o of_o we_o be_v not_o damnable_a wretch_n and_o most_o unhappy_a miscreant_n but_o only_o his_o mercy_n what_o have_v we_o at_o all_o that_o we_o have_v not_o receive_v o_o let_v we_o then_o take_v heed_n take_v heed_n i_o say_v lest_o our_o heart_n be_v harden_v with_o stubborness_n and_o self_n opinion_n have_v not_o the_o potter_n power_n over_o his_o clay_n may_v not_o the_o spiritual_a husbandman_n break_v off_o the_o olive_n branch_n and_o graft_v they_o in_o at_o his_o pleasure_n o_o the_o depth_n of_o the_o riches_n both_o of_o the_o wisdom_n and_o knowledge_n of_o god_n how_o unsearchable_a be_v all_o his_o judgement_n and_o his_o way_n past_o find_v out_o for_o who_o have_v know_v the_o mind_n of_o the_o lord_n or_o who_o have_v be_v his_o counsellor_n and_o thus_o have_v we_o brief_o dispatch_v the_o first_o and_o better_a part_n of_o our_o business_n i_o mean_v this_o history_n of_o the_o soul_n endue_v with_o grace_n now_o than_o our_o thought_n must_v leave_v their_o eagle_n slight_a and_o down_o a_o while_n top_n addle_n in_o the_o dirt_n behold_v and_o see_v what_o policy_n and_o might_n the_o devil_n can_v show_v forth_o to_o do_v we_o hurt_v when_o god_n le_fw-fr we_o loose_v this_o roar_a lion_n o_o what_o destruction_n do_v he_o bring_v upon_o we_o how_o strong_o and_o cunning_o do_v he_o hold_v fast_o our_o soul_n in_o sin_n how_o intricate_o be_v we_o entangle_v by_o his_o snare_n that_o we_o can_v get_v out_o the_o heart_n say_v jeremy_n be_v deceitful_a above_o all_o thing_n and_o desperate_o wicked_a who_o can_v know_v it_o indeed_o it_o be_v a_o most_o hard_a matter_n to_o find_v out_o all_o the_o strength_n and_o subtlety_n of_o sin_n in_o a_o wicked_a soul_n for_o the_o devil_n when_o he_o get_v possession_n special_o in_o a_o more_o melancholy_a heart_n like_o a_o wont_a make_v his_o work_n few_o above_o ground_n but_o have_v many_o secret_a passage_n and_o maeander_n under_o the_o close_o contrive_v cranny_n whereof_o although_o we_o can_v full_o search_v and_o track_n out_o yet_o god_n willing_a we_o shall_v the_o more_o open_a and_o principal_a course_n in_o this_o ensue_a part._n of_o the_o soul_n ensnare_v in_o sin_n nemo_n repent_v fuit_fw-la turpissimus_fw-la sin_n creep_v on_o by_o degree_n but_o woe_n be_v we_o to_o what_o a_o exceed_a height_n and_o to_o what_o intolerable_a a_o increase_n be_v it_o able_a to_o grow_v grow_v i_o say_v heavy_a than_o the_o sand_n of_o the_o sea_n in_o weight_n and_o more_o in_o number_n even_o sufficient_a to_o fill_v whole_a volume_n for_o who_o be_v able_a to_o find_v out_o all_o his_o iniquity_n or_o reckon_v up_o his_o sin_n who_o know_v say_v david_n how_o often_o he_o offend_v sin_n in_o a_o wicked_a soul_n be_v so_o unmerciful_a a_o thing_n that_o it_o have_v no_o limit_n nor_o bound_n of_o extent_n it_o be_v that_o overflow_a flood_n in_o the_o scripture_n which_o drown_v the_o old_a inhabitant_n of_o the_o earth_n it_o be_v that_o rage_a sulphurous_a fire_n which_o burn_v up_o the_o city_n of_o the_o ungodly_a or_o if_o you_o will_v that_o phaeton_n fire_n among_o the_o poet_n which_o inflame_v the_o whole_a world_n for_o no_o soon_o do_v we_o let_v at_o liberty_n our_o affection_n from_o the_o yoke_n of_o discipline_n and_o good_a order_n from_o that_o narrow_a path_n and_o rule_v of_o virtue_n in_o cujus_fw-la medio_fw-la tutissimus_fw-la ibis_fw-la o_o man_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o which_o thou_o safe_o may_v go_v but_o present_o we_o act_v out_o the_o true_a moral_a of_o phaeton_n fable_n phaeton_n let_v loose_v the_o reins_n to_o his_o frolic_a horse_n and_o they_o carry_v he_o as_o the_o fiction_n go_v to_o the_o fire_n of_o the_o world_n and_o his_o own_o destruction_n we_o do_v but_o let_v go_v the_o reins_n to_o our_o will_n and_o affection_n and_o they_o carry_v we_o likewise_o headlong_o to_o our_o unavoidable_a destruction_n and_o to_o the_o set_n on_o fire_n of_o this_o microcosm_n this_o little_a world_n of_o we_o here_o we_o may_v well_o note_v that_o religio_fw-la a_o religando_fw-la veer_fw-la dicta_fw-la est_fw-la religion_n be_v true_o so_o call_v from_o tie_v back_o the_o affection_n and_o therefore_o now_o when_o once_o conscience_n do_v thus_o let_v slip_v the_o reins_n of_o discipline_n and_o its_o due_a care_n of_o the_o soul_n our_o little_a world_n as_o i_o say_v be_v all_o on_o fi●e_n our_o thought_n desire_n and_o affection_n be_v as_o it_o be_v without_o god_n and_o his_o fear_n
aegistus_n quare_fw-la sit_fw-la factus_fw-la adulter_fw-la in_o promptu_fw-la causa_fw-la est_fw-la desidiosus_fw-la erat_fw-la if_o you_o demand_v aegistus_n why_o he_o do_v commit_v adultery_n the_o cause_n be_v easy_a to_o be_v see_v because_o he_o have_v so_o idle_a be_v and_o as_o it_o hatch_v all_o sin_n in_o the_o soul_n so_o of_o all_o other_o be_v it_o the_o most_o kindly_a nurse_n of_o lust_n and_o fleshly_a desire_n in_o our_o melancholy_a nature_n how_o do_v the_o fancy_n hereby_o become_v pollute_v and_o most_o gross_o defile_v with_o all_o kind_n of_o baseness_n and_o obscenity_n what_o invention_n do_v it_o frame_v for_o the_o provocation_n of_o lust_n how_o close_o do_v it_o make_v we_o hug_v the_o amorous_a conceit_n of_o our_o enslave_v fancy_n nay_o how_o do_v we_o many_o time_n hereby_o so_o deep_o infect_v our_o thought_n with_o this_o kind_n of_o viciousness_n that_o like_o lime_n twig_n they_o be_v ready_a to_o catch_v hold_n on_o every_o object_n convert_v it_o to_o some_o libidinous_a and_o wanton_a motion_n the_o which_o perchance_o sometime_o do_v cling_v so_o fast_o unto_o we_o that_o we_o can_v scarce_o draw_v off_o again_o our_o imagination_n from_o it_o again_o idleness_n and_o luxury_n the_o excess_n of_o eat_v and_o drink_v either_o in_o quantity_n or_o quality_n i_o say_v fullness_n of_o bread_n and_o abundance_n of_o idleness_n be_v constant_a companion_n together_o we_o that_o be_v idle_a must_v needs_o be_v luxurious_a one_o way_n or_o other_o and_o if_o saint_n paul_n say_v that_o the_o idle_a person_n be_v not_o worthy_a to_o eat_v or_o drink_v at_o all_o how_o often_o and_o how_o much_o do_v we_o sin_n when_o as_o the_o vanity_n of_o our_o idle_a soul_n cause_v we_o to_o waste_v so_o much_o in_o superfluity_n who_o be_v not_o worthy_a of_o sufficiency_n o_o alas_o so_o we_o live_v many_o time_n as_o if_o we_o be_v create_v for_o nothing_o else_o but_o to_o eat_v and_o drink_v sure_o this_o be_v not_o the_o least_o if_o not_o the_o great_a of_o our_o sin_n for_o if_o abstinence_n be_v the_o chief_a help_n to_o mortify_v the_o flesh_n certain_o luxury_n be_v the_o chief_a mean_n to_o quench_v all_o goodness_n of_o the_o spirit_n and_o therefore_o see_v in_o the_o gospel_n the_o devil_n desire_v to_o enter_v into_o the_o swine_n we_o hear_v of_o no_o other_o creature_n that_o at_o any_o time_n they_o desire_v to_o enter_v into_o but_o only_o i_o say_v into_o the_o gluttonous_a swine_n that_o of_o all_o other_o creature_n be_v most_o unclean_o addict_v to_o its_o belly_n so_o fit_a a_o habitation_n be_v the_o gluttonous_a and_o luxurious_a soul_n for_o nothing_o but_o devil_n but_o sin_n and_o uncleanness_n but_o further_a with_o the_o story_n our_o whole_a man_n be_v so_o utter_o disframe_v and_o disjoint_v with_o sin_n that_o there_o be_v no_o part_n but_o be_v out_o of_o order_n when_o we_o serious_o reflect_v on_o ourselves_o and_o our_o so_o great_a imperfection_n we_o can_v but_o fetch_v from_o within_o we_o many_o a_o deep_a sigh_n to_o grieve_v at_o this_o our_o so_o great_a untowardness_n think_v thus_o how_o much_o be_v we_o now_o behind_o the_o condition_n o●_n the_o righteous_a how_o miserable_o do_v we_o misspend_v our_o time_n in_o be_v vassal_n unto_o satan_n and_o work_v our_o own_o damnation_n who_o may_v in_o this_o time_n so_o ill_o waste_v have_v as_o well_o make_v a_o good_a progress_n towards_o heaven_n and_o attain_v unto_o much_o comfort_n and_o proficiency_n in_o religion_n o_o ●ow_o do_v we_o want_v that_o light_n of_o understanding_n and_o retention_n of_o memory_n in_o good_a thing_n which_o we_o ought_v to_o have_v how_o void_a be_v we_o of_o devotion_n to_o godward_o that_o charitablenesse_n of_o affection_n towards_o our_o brethren_n which_o we_o observe_v in_o other_o that_o patience_n and_o cheerfulness_n in_o trouble_n that_o manly_a constancy_n in_o rule_v the_o motion_n of_o the_o soul_n as_o grief_n fear_n hope_v and_o the_o like_a o_o we_o alone_a we_o be_v in_o each_o degree_n so_o frail_a with_o sin_n there_o be_v none_o so_o frail_a as_o we_o for_o behold_v we_o be_v so_o craze_v and_o weaken_v in_o all_o the_o strength_n and_o constancy_n of_o our_o mind_n through_o sin_n that_o every_o passion_n be_v able_a to_o overturn_v we_o either_o we_o be_v too_o much_o in_o fear_n of_o the_o roar_a wave_n of_o calamity_n in_o this_o world_n or_o too_o much_o in_o love_n with_o the_o please_a vanity_n thereof_o either_o we_o be_v too_o hot_a with_o the_o joy_n of_o prosperity_n or_o too_o cold_a with_o the_o grief_n of_o adversity_n overjoy_v with_o the_o tickle_a exaltation_n of_o the_o one_o or_o faint-hearted_o deject_v and_o cast_v down_o with_o the_o other_o but_o of_o these_o two_o special_o ought_v we_o to_o be_v careful_a and_o take_v good_a heed_n there_o be_v always_o as_o we_o may_v find_v a_o more_o principal_a danger_n in_o the_o joy_n of_o prosperity_n for_o say_v moses_n deut._n 6_o when_o thou_o have_v eat_v and_o be_v full_a then_o beware_v lest_o thou_o forget_v the_o lord_n etc._n etc._n narrow_a vessel_n be_v quick_o overfill_v then_o then_o i_o say_v in_o our_o prosperity_n do_v we_o feel_v ourselves_o ready_a to_o run_v over_o the_o capacity_n of_o moderation_n apt_a to_o grow_v lawless_a with_o unlimited_a pride_n and_o to_o forget_v our_o reverence_n to_o that_o god_n which_o have_v create_v we_o and_o always_o do_v so_o great_a thing_n for_o we_o and_o therefore_o it_o be_v that_o david_n say_v it_o be_v good_a for_o i_o that_o i_o have_v be_v in_o trouble_n happy_a be_v the_o man_n that_o be_v always_o ballast_v with_o such_o a_o constant_a steadfastness_n of_o mind_n that_o let_v the_o wind_n blow_v which_o way_n it_o will_v can_v carry_v his_o affection_n with_o a_o upright_a settle_a and_o indifferent_a moderation_n can_v hold_v he_o fast_o by_o god_n in_o all_o change_n of_o this_o life_n patient_o hope_v in_o he_o in_o adversity_n humble_o rejoice_v in_o he_o in_o prosperity_n so_o to_o rule_v himself_o with_o saint_n paul_n resolvednesse_n of_o mind_n phil._n 4_o at_o all_o time_n and_o in_o whatsoever_o state_n he_o be_v as_o therewith_o to_o be_v content_a with_o satiety_n and_o yet_o not_o drunken_a with_o excess_n see_v the_o folly_n of_o a_o sinner_n and_o strange_a besotted_a ignorance_n of_o our_o thought_n behold_v we_o fear_v the_o face_n of_o man_n poor_a sinful_a man_n when_o of_o the_o god_n of_o heaven_n we_o little_o scan_v though_o we_o have_v not_o much_o care_n of_o it_o that_o our_o fault_n be_v all_o naked_a in_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n that_o the_o searcher_n of_o heart_n know_v the_o depth_n of_o they_o and_o that_o they_o lie_v open_a plain_n enough_o before_o our_o conscience_n yet_o by_o no_o mean_n we_o will_v that_o man_n shall_v know_v so_o much_o of_o we_o no_o let_v self-loving_a nature_n alone_o to_o be_v sure_a to_o take_v heed_n of_o this_o that_o no_o body_n know_v it_o but_o ourselves_o oh_o we_o may_v in_o no_o wise_n bewray_v our_o infirmity_n in_o any_o particular_n what_o vain_a figleaf_n of_o poor_a shift_n and_o excuse_n do_v we_o so_o we_o together_o to_o cover_v we_o with_o rather_o than_o we_o will_v be_v guilty_a in_o the_o sight_n of_o man_n we_o shall_v choose_v rather_o many_o time_n to_o make_v two_o sin_n of_o one_o then_o discredit_v ourselves_o by_o confession_n as_o thus_o perchance_o when_o we_o be_v reprove_v for_o our_o untowardness_n reprehend_v for_o our_o vice_n or_o any_o thing_n else_o be_v speak_v which_o be_v harsh_a unto_o we_o present_o be_v our_o headstrong_a and_o self-accusing_a nature_n all_o on_o fire_n with_o spitesul_n scorn_n and_o ill-will_n against_o it_o either_o move_v with_o so_o much_o distemper_n as_o malicious_o to_o revile_v the_o party_n or_o else_o so_o deep_o sting_v with_o inward_a unquietness_n as_o unsober_o to_o depart_v the_o place_n not_o abide_v to_o hear_v it_o any_o long_o such_o be_v our_o impatient_a desire_n of_o credit_n our_o self-justifying_a honour_n on_o our_o own_o part_n but_o on_o the_o other_o side_n to_o hear_v the_o dispraise_n and_o reproof_n of_o other_o to_o hear_v their_o credit_n break_v by_o the_o tongue_n of_o envy_n that_o methinks_v be_v a_o contentment_n and_o recreation_n to_o we_o or_o special_o when_o we_o meet_v with_o they_o who_o be_v incline_v to_o speak_v against_o such_o party_n that_o be_v out_o of_o our_o like_n than_o it_o be_v meat_n and_o drink_n to_o we_o to_o say_v amen_o and_o join_v with_o they_o in_o the_o like_o malevolent_a and_o disgraceful_a speech_n we_o be_v i_o say_v most_o impatient_a of_o reproof_n special_o if_o it_o be_v lay_v either_o sharp_a and_o close_o unto_o we_o or_o tedious_a and_o over_o urgent_a and_o true_o though_o reproof_n ought_v humble_o to_o be_v take_v as_o
manacle_n of_o unrighteousness_n which_o do_v so_o strong_o tie_v we_o unto_o unhappiness_n a_o misery_n certain_o full_a of_o all_o misery_n to_o be_v so_o far_o involve_v therein_o that_o we_o can_v see_v no_o probability_n to_o get_v out_o and_o yet_o lo_o this_o be_v not_o the_o utmost_a it_o do_v not_o rest_v here_o we_o must_v yet_o ●urther_o entertain_v a_o great_a unhappiness_n for_o now_o behold_v a_o far_o more_o grievous_a and_o worse_a thing_n for_o the_o present_a hereby_o happen_v unto_o we_o god_n judgement_n the_o usual_a consequence_n of_o continuance_n in_o fin_n prepare_v after_o so_o long_a forbearance_n to_o lay_v siege_n unto_o our_o conscience_n and_o the_o messenger_n of_o satan_n like_o a_o trumpeter_n be_v send_v in_o to_o summon_v we_o beforehand_o for_o behold_v hideous_a and_o dismay_v thought_n begin_v to_o slip_v into_o our_o mind_n exceed_o to_o terrify_v and_o strike_v through_o our_o unhappy_a soul_n the_o strangeness_n of_o which_o many_o time_n at_o the_o first_o come_v of_o it_o do_v so_o ghastly_a affright_n and_o startle_v we_o that_o our_o heart_n be_v ready_a to_o faint_v and_o swoon_v with_o the_o terror_n thereof_o and_o this_o this_o i_o say_v for_o the_o present_a out_o of_o our_o unadvis●dnesse_n and_o ignorance_n of_o the_o right_a understanding_n hereof_o common_o become_v a_o great_a snare_n to_o we_o to_o keep_v we_o off_o from_o repentance_n than_o all_o our_o former_a sin_n and_o distemper_n beside_o for_o when_o perchance_o we_o endeavour_v to_o settle_v our_o thought_n upon_o humiliation_n and_o be_v ready_a to_o take_v upon_o we_o the_o examination_n of_o our_o wicked_a and_o sinful_a life_n as_o lift_v up_o our_o thought_n into_o this_o meditation_n oh_o how_o the_o time_n pass_v away_o the_o daily-consuming_a torch_n of_o our_o life_n burn_v out_o apace_o and_o shall_v we_o continue_v still_o in_o this_o desolate_a and_o deplore_a condition_n without_o due_a repentance_n and_o reconciliation_n with_o god_n how_o far_o be_v be_v we_o from_o that_o glorious_a comfort_n and_o most_o happy_a state_n we_o use_v to_o enjoy_v in_o the_o time_n of_o grace_n etc._n etc._n where_o i_o say_v when_o that_o with_o serious_a sigh_n we_o in_o this_o sort_n do_v our_o own_o self_n into_o ourselves_o retort_v prepare_v ourselves_o for_o repentance_n and_o strive_v to_o humble_v our_o soul_n before_o god_n then_o forthwith_o do_v these_o hideous_a and_o dismay_v thought_n or_o the_o remembrance_n of_o they_o so_o utter_o discourage_v and_o dishearten_v we_o that_o we_o be_v fain_o to_o leave_v off_o again_o so_o soon_o as_o we_o have_v begin_v for_o whenas_o our_o thought_n shall_v be_v fill_v with_o humility_n and_o dejection_n for_o our_o sin_n then_o be_v they_o ready_a to_o swarm_v with_o nothing_o but_o vile_a and_o monstrous_a imagination_n better_o therefore_o do_v we_o judge_v it_o for_o the_o most_o part_n whilst_o that_o we_o be_v new_o acquaint_v herewith_o to_o let_v all_o alone_a then_o by_o that_o mean_n as_o we_o suppose_v to_o procure_v god_n great_a wrath_n and_o indignation_n upon_o we_o beside_o thus_o we_o be_v ready_a to_o conjecture_v with_o ourselves_o what_o hope_v or_o likelihood_n be_v there_o for_o we_o to_o obtain_v the_o favour_n of_o that_o god_n from_o who_o we_o be_v so_o dangerous_o separate_v and_o who_o again_o we_o be_v with_o such_o impiety_n of_o mind_n ready_a to_o dishonour_v and_o so_o be_v we_o beat_v off_o from_o our_o poor_a and_o weak_a endeavour_n not_o dare_v to_o approach_v his_o glorious_a name_n with_o thought_n that_o speak_v nothing_o but_o fear_n and_o shame_n well_o these_o hideous_a glance_n do_v perchance_o ever_o and_o anon_o slip_v into_o the_o imagination_n and_o be_v very_o terrible_a and_o tedious_a unto_o we_o but_o many_o time_n it_o fall_v out_o for_o a_o while_n until_o we_o either_o better_o understand_v ourselves_o herein_o or_o that_o god_n show_v forth_o his_o power_n more_o strong_o in_o we_o i_o say_v it_o fall_v out_o many_o time_n that_o the_o earnest_a employment_n of_o our_o mind_n in_o the_o fear_n care_n and_o desire_n of_o other_o thing_n do_v not_o suffer_v we_o so_o serious_o to_o tend_v for_o they_o or_o else_o do_v put_v they_o out_o of_o remembrance_n again_o notwithstanding_o ever_o and_o anon_o they_o do_v come_v into_o our_o head_n to_o disturb_v and_o terrify_v we_o most_o wonderful_o but_o special_o it_o be_v to_o be_v note_v that_o if_o at_o any_o time_n we_o go_v about_o to_o read_v or_o set_v ourselves_o diligent_o upon_o the_o work_n of_o repentance_n then_o sure_o they_o be_v abundant_o present_a with_o we_o and_o because_o they_o be_v so_o terrible_a that_o we_o can_v abide_v they_o we_o must_v therefore_o needs_o leave_v off_o whatsoever_o we_o have_v take_v in_o hand_n and_o this_o we_o may_v conceive_v to_o be_v a_o special_a policy_n of_o the_o devil_n to_o have_v they_o chief_o propose_v to_o our_o fancy_n at_o such_o time_n to_o the_o end_n if_o it_o can_v be_v so_o there_o may_v be_v no_o time_n for_o we_o to_o repent_v in_o for_o now_o methinks_v at_o length_n through_o a_o due_a self-consideration_n and_o these_o manifold_a check_v trouble_n and_o inconvenience_n which_o so_o disturb_v we_o that_o we_o can_v tell_v which_o way_n to_o turn_v for_o they_o doubtless_o i_o say_v we_o have_v great_a longing_n to_o be_v reconcile_v unto_o god_n and_o we_o will_v very_o fain_o repent_v put_v our_o strength_n real_o to_o it_o do_v not_o now_o these_o scar_n crow_n stand_v in_o the_o way_n to_o affright_v we_o and_o now_o in_o this_o though_o not_o otherwise_o we_o can_v true_o repent_v that_o we_o do_v not_o repent_v heretofore_o that_o we_o have_v not_o draw_v near_o unto_o the_o lord_n whilst_o he_o may_v be_v find_v since_o that_o in_o those_o great_a water-flood_n this_o day_n of_o trouble_n and_o temptation_n we_o can_v come_v nigh_o unto_o he_o for_o most_o deserve_o we_o that_o have_v continue_v so_o long_o in_o our_o sin_n for_o our_o own_o pleasure_n to_o content_v ourselves_o must_v yet_o continue_v a_o while_n long_o to_o content_a god_n justice_n as_o yet_o then_o for_o all_o this_o though_o the_o axe_n be_v as_o it_o be_v lay_v to_o the_o root_n of_o the_o tree_n god_n judgement_n and_o vengeance_n to_o our_o evil_a conscience_n yet_o we_o can_v leave_v off_o the_o deceitfulness_n of_o our_o soul_n our_o oppress_a policy_n the_o vanity_n of_o our_o mind_n the_o excuse_v our_o sin_n the_o swell_a and_o self-conceited_a folly_n of_o our_o heart_n and_o the_o like_a it_o be_v to_o be_v observe_v that_o according_a to_o the_o method_n in_o this_o book_n before_o premise_a most_o of_o we_o man_n have_v some_o one_o part_n or_o space_n of_o our_o life_n be_v it_o four_o or_o five_o year_n or_o whatsoever_o wherein_o sin_n have_v more_o full_a power_n over_o we_o and_o perhaps_o do_v thus_o prevail_v in_o we_o with_o a_o high_a hand_n and_o settle_a course_n and_o this_o time_n above_o all_o the_o rest_n be_v the_o time_n of_o sin_n as_o be_v so_o proper_o dispose_v for_o it_o that_o during_o the_o continuance_n thereof_o we_o can_v never_o attain_v unto_o true_a repentance_n for_o though_o that_o we_o may_v sometime_o superficial_o fallow_a up_o our_o soul_n with_o the_o sollow_a of_o humiliation_n yet_o do_v we_o not_o so_o thorough_o plough_v they_o up_o as_o to_o fit_v they_o for_o the_o due_a receive_n of_o that_o good_a seed_n which_o be_v able_a to_o fructify_v into_o newness_n of_o life_n sure_o this_o be_v not_o a_o easy_a thing_n a_o perfect_a sinner_n do_v not_o change_v his_o hue_n so_o quick_o turn_v his_o old_a life_n to_o new_a though_o we_o may_v peradventure_o many_o time_n outward_o scan_v over_o the_o duty_n of_o repentance_n yet_o do_v we_o not_o during_o this_o time_n so_o perfect_o repent_v as_o thereby_o to_o get_v a_o full_a release_n from_o the_o guilt_n of_o sin_n or_o such_o a_o comfortable_a and_o a_o discharge_n acquittance_n to_o our_o conscience_n as_o we_o ought_v to_o have_v and_o which_o make_v we_o cheerful_a and_o free_a powerful_o to_o resolve_v and_o set_v on_o towards_o amendment_n of_o life_n well_o to_o the_o matter_n i_o say_v what_o by_o one_o mean_n or_o other_o we_o be_v yet_o still_o scare_v off_o from_o the_o main_a hope_n and_o help_v of_o our_o soul_n the_o comfort_n of_o reconciliation_n so_o great_a be_v our_o sinful_a folly_n and_o unability_n unto_o good_a but_o this_o all_o this_o be_v but_o for_o a_o taste_n of_o inward_a trouble_n see_v what_o follow_v the_o hand_n of_o the_o almighty_a do_v not_o leave_v we_o so_o if_o a_o man_n will_v not_o turn_v say_v david_n psal_n 7_o god_n will_v whet_v his_o sword_n he_o have_v bend_v his_o bow_n and_o make_v it_o ready_a hitherto_o there_o be_v no_o turn_n with_o we_o nothing_o be_v able_a to_o
intolerable_a thing_n within_o he_o as_o also_o sometime_o we_o shall_v think_v thus_o that_o if_o other_o man_n do_v but_o know_v what_o vile_a imagination_n what_o monstrous_a indignity_n there_o be_v in_o our_o head_n they_o will_v sure_o be_v ready_a to_o kill_v we_o out_o of_o zeal_n to_o piety_n and_o revenge_n to_o god_n glory_n as_o not_o fit_a to_o live_v on_o earth_n who_o be_v in_o truth_n full_a of_o nothing_o but_o hell_n many_o time_n perhaps_o be_v our_o thought_n of_o such_o high_a and_o immediate_a impiety_n that_o we_o very_o look_v for_o one_o fearful_a judgement_n or_o other_o present_o to_o confound_v we_o and_o do_v even_o quake_v and_o crouch_v down_o as_o though_o some_o fierce_a thunderbolt_n of_o vengeance_n be_v already_o fall_v from_o heaven_n upon_o we_o these_o thought_n they_o be_v not_o all_o of_o they_o evil_a in_o the_o same_o degree_n some_o it_o may_v be_v be_v far_o worse_o than_o some_o as_o also_o they_o be_v not_o all_o of_o the_o same_o nature_n for_o the_o diverfity_n of_o every_o one_o constitution_n and_o the_o diversity_n or_o several_a kind_n of_o sin_n to_o which_o we_o be_v most_o addict_v do_v perchance_o much_o vary_v the_o nature_n of_o they_o yet_o most_o of_o they_o in_o the_o same_o particular_a party_n special_o at_o the_o first_o do_v ever_o point_v to_o one_o kind_n of_o end_n and_o effect_n in_o a_o while_n the_o much_o prevail_a strength_n of_o these_o thought_n have_v such_o a_o terrify_a power_n in_o we_o that_o even_o but_o one_o of_o they_o be_v sufficient_a to_o strike_v a_o heart-breaking_a passion_n of_o so_o great_a a_o tremble_a and_o distemper_n into_o we_o that_o we_o shall_v not_o be_v whole_o out_o of_o it_o again_o for_o a_o whole_a day_n after_o be_v usual_o in_o the_o mean_a space_n revolve_v in_o our_o mind_n the_o heynousnesse_n thereof_o or_o bu●ying_v our_o fancy_n with_o orhe_a trifle_a conceit_n of_o the_o like_a nature_n so_o that_o our_o mind_n be_v never_o no_o never_o free_a from_o some_o one_o cogitation_n or_o other_o which_o concern_v this_o our_o trouble_n at_o our_o first_o entr●_n into_o this_o sad_a case_n before_o we_o be_v full_o possess_v with_o the_o course_n and_o quality_n thereof_o we_o shall_v be_v apt_a thus_o to_o consider_v and_o revolve_v within_o ourselves_o o_o lord_n how_o shall_v we_o do_v to_o recogitate_v and_o examine_v over_o again_o in_o repentance_n these_o unhappy_a thought_n when_o as_o the_o very_o remote_a glimpse_n of_o they_o in_o our_o fancy_n be_v so_o too_o much_o terrible_a unto_o we_o for_o we_o do_v feel_v ourselves_o seldom_o lively_a and_o perfect_o to_o repent_v we_o of_o our_o sin_n but_o that_o in_o very_a act_n of_o repentance_n those_o thing_n which_o do_v most_o go_v against_o our_o conscience_n do_v reappear_a unto_o we_o afresh_o and_o that_o we_o do_v as_o it_o be_v real_o see_v the_o enormity_n of_o they_o i_o say_v we_o shall_v thus_o perhaps_o hoe_v and_o be_v solicitous_a how_o to_o repent_v for_o though_o we_o may_v and_o do_v now_o repent_v in_o the_o habit_n and_o intention_n of_o repentance_n i_o mean_v in_o the_o reality_n and_o sense_n of_o it_o yet_o peradventure_o we_o can_v in_o a_o right_n and_o due_o perform_v act_n thereof_o habitual_o by_o turn_v f●om_o our_o evil_a course_n but_o not_o actual_o by_o put_v in_o practice_n that_o lively_a action_n of_o the_o mind_n which_o be_v ordinary_o requisite_a and_o belong_v thereunto_o i_o say_v for_o all_o that_o our_o heart_n be_v as_o it_o be_v break_v in_o piece_n with_o these_o heavy_a trouble_n yet_o we_o can_v enjoy_v so_o feel_v a_o remorse_n in_o our_o soul_n or_o so_o kind_o dissolve_v ourselves_o into_o a_o serious_a and_o right_a humiliation_n as_o we_o desire_v and_o as_o we_o ought_v to_o do_v though_o as_o it_o seem_v to_o our_o poor_a unhappy_a soul_n the_o lord_n have_v charge_v we_o with_o so_o great_a a_o curse_n that_o mortal_a flesb_n can_v sustain_v a_o worse_a though_o i_o sa●_n we_o be_v so_o divell-like_a and_o hellish_o untoward_a in_o ourselves_o and_o though_o we_o true_o know_v and_o do_v well_o consider_v this_o our_o woeful_a condition_n yet_o can_v we_o not_o perchance_o through_o this_o great_a distemper_n of_o fancy_n can_v we_o not_o as_o i_o say_v perform_v that_o action_n of_o mind_n which_o fit_o belong_v thereunto_o be_v hold_v in_o such_o a_o strong_a incongruity_n unto_o the_o natural_a use_n of_o all_o inward_a duty_n that_o there_o yet_o appear_v in_o we_o i_o think_v no_o due_a readiness_n of_o heart_n to_o a_o bleed_a and_o true_o conscientious_a sorrow_n now_o therefore_o in_o this_o most_o evil_a case_n lest_o that_o we_o shall_v go_v down_o quick_a into_o hell_n and_o be_v swallow_v up_o with_o this_o sudden_a destruction_n we_o do_v mighty_o labour_v to_o set_v out_o all_o the_o power_n and_o strength_n that_o we_o have_v in_o strive_v to_o deject_v and_o bring_v down_o our_o outward_a soul_n to_o a_o due_a and_o more_o applyable_a sorrow_n for_o our_o sin_n for_o you_o must_v understand_v that_o the_o strongnesse_n and_o violence_n hereof_o a_o pretty_a while_n upon_o its_o first_o come_n do_v amaze_v and_o so_o much_o take_v up_o our_o thought_n with_o disturb_a terror_n and_o admiration_n that_o we_o can_v present_o apply_v ourselves_o with_o good_a and_o exact_o go_v over_o each_o particular_a of_o repentance_n to_o the_o full_a now_o then_o as_o much_o as_o it_o be_v possible_a i_o say_v to_o the_o utmost_a do_v we_o set_v ourselves_o this_o way_n to_o turn_v a_o new_a leaf_n to_o change_v the_o whole_a frame_n and_o course_n of_o our_o inner_a man_n for_o lo_o o_o lord_n there_o be_v no_o rest_n unto_o our_o soul_n by_o reason_n of_o this_o thy_o wrath_n neither_o be_v there_o yet_o any_o ease_n at_o all_o to_o our_o conscience_n by_o reason_n of_o our_o sin_n first_o then_o to_o begin_v the_o former_a policy_n delight_n and_o habit_n of_o our_o mind_n which_o we_o do_v heretofore_o serious_o embrace_v applaud_v and_o approve_v be_v now_o become_v hateful_a and_o odious_a unto_o we_o we_o can_v abide_v so_o much_o as_o the_o very_a thought_n thereof_o and_o lo_o the_o whole_a aim_n of_o our_o intention_n and_o purpose_n be_v only_o set_v to_o a_o particular_a and_o punctual_a recounting_a of_o all_o our_o sin_n past_a although_o the_o heynous●esse_n and_o multitude_n of_o they_o for_o want_v of_o due_a repentance_n so_o long_o be_v perchance_o grow_v to_o that_o pass_n that_o it_o be_v most_o irksome_a to_o we_o our_o heart_n even_o faint_a thereat_o and_o be_v very_o loath_a even_o as_o loath_a to_o meddle_v thorough_o with_o this_o scrutiny_n and_o to_o search_v it_o to_o the_o purpose_n as_o the_o grleved_a party_n be_v loath_a to_o open_v the_o plaster_n from_o his_o tender_a sore_n the_o cling_v whereof_o he_o know_v will_v tear_v away_o the_o very_a skin_n from_o the_o flesh_n so_o hard_a a_o thing_n it_o be_v for_o to_o divorce_n sin_n that_o be_v ro●ted_v with_o a_o constant_a course_n so_o difficult_a be_v the_o due_a order_n purge_v and_o examine_v of_o a_o conscience_n that_o be_v much_o overgrow_v with_o sin_n we_o do_v now_o as_o i_o say_v set_v ourselves_o to_o a_o particular_a re-capitulation_a of_o all_o our_o sin_n that_o so_o we_o may_v full_o try_v out_o and_o remove_v the_o cause_n of_o this_o our_o mis●ry_n and_o therefore_o as_o it_o be_v stop_v our_o ear_n and_o apprehension_n as_o much_o as_o possible_a from_o the_o noise_n and_o disturbance_n of_o all_o other_o thing_n we_o do_v altogether_o dive_v our_o thought_n into_o a_o most_o deep_a and_o distinct_a consideration_n and_o remembrance_n of_o all_o our_o former_a iniquity_n whereupon_o there_o may_v and_o doubtless_o will_v at_o one_o time_n or_o other_o occur_v unto_o our_o memory_n all_o even_o all_o i_o say_v and_o almost_o every_o one_o of_o the_o great_a sin_n of_o our_o whole_a life_n with_o their_o particular_a circumstance_n and_o manner_n of_o commit_v thus_o here_o deep_a melancholy_n without_o noise_n present_v of_o each_o our_o sin_n the_o sad_a and_o true_a content_n and_o then_o she_o sit_v with_o that_o accuse_a scroll_n to_o pass_v her_o judgement_n on_o the_o guilty_a soul_n judge_v deem_v and_o conclude_v sometime_o one_o to_o be_v the_o great_a of_o the_o sin_n sometime_o another_o sometime_o this_o to_o be_v the_o chief_a cause_n of_o our_o misery_n sometime_o that_o sometime_o neither_o this_o nor_o that_o in_o particular_a but_o in_o general_a the_o sinful_a course_n of_o our_o whole_a time_n but_o all_o this_o while_n ever_o now_o and_o then_o shall_v we_o be_v think_v with_o ourselves_o sure_a our_o case_n be_v so_o dangerous_a that_o never_o any_o soul_n be_v in_o the_o like_o sad_a condition_n sure_o our_o case_n be_v so_o incurable_o bad_a we_o can_v conceive_v
how_o many_o and_o how_o many_o time_n be_v it_o that_o we_o do_v pray_v god_n know_v with_o poor_a relish_n and_o devotion_n of_o mind_n force_v ourselves_o to_o pray_v when_o we_o can_v pray_v repeat_v the_o word_n when_o we_o be_v in_o such_o a_o case_n and_o so_o out_o of_o order_n in_o ourselves_o that_o we_o have_v no_o heart_n or_o affection_n of_o prayer_n i_o say_v no_o heart_n for_o obserne_v hinc_fw-la illae_fw-la lachrimae_fw-la it_o be_v the_o deadness_n and_o want_n of_o a_o heart_n that_o be_v our_o great_a unhappiness_n in_o all_o our_o distress_n and_o therefore_o good_a david_n so_o earnest_o cry_v out_o for_o a_o heart_n create_v in_o i_o a_o clean_a h●a●t_n o_o god_n o_o turn_v my_o stony_a heart_n into_o a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n etc._n etc._n to_o go_v on_o there_o be_v most_o time_n suck_v a_o untowardlinesse_n in_o our_o heart_n and_o affection_n unto_o prayer_n that_o our_o distemper_a thought_n by_o mean_n thereof_o be_v ready_a to_o turn_v every_o thing_n to_o a_o quite_o contrary_a sense_n to_o a_o vain_a perchance_o or_o ill_a conceit_n so_o that_o when_o we_o shall_v be_v most_o reverent_o serious_a in_o our_o devotion_n then_o do_v the_o twhart_a glonce_n of_o our_o fancy_n make_v as_o it_o be_v a_o foolery_n of_o it_o and_o this_o will_v make_v we_o exceed_o to_o sigh_v and_o cry_v for_o discontent_n that_o we_o shall_v be_v so_o vain_a untoward_a and_o out_o of_o all_o order_n think_v lord_n what_o shall_v we_o do_v we_o can_v help_v it_o though_o we_o be_v thus_o never_o so_o untoward_a we_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o avoid_v it_o and_o these_o word_n perchance_o we_o can_v tell_v what_o to_o do_v lord_n we_o can_v tell_v what_o to_o do_v in_o our_o great_a plunge_n of_o distress_n will_v be_v a_o usual_a expression_n with_o we_o lord_n hear_v our_o groan_n we_o wot_v not_o what_o to_o say_v we_o pray_v and_o yet_o alas_o we_o can_v pray_v of_o ourselves_o we_o be_v not_o able_a sufficient_o to_o think_v or_o comprehend_v in_o how_o bad_a a_o condition_n we_o be_v thou_o only_o that_o true_o know_v our_o misery_n be_v merciful_a unto_o we_o according_a to_o thy_o great_a mercy_n when_o we_o be_v solitary_a and_o melancholy_a private_a muse_n upon_o ourselves_o and_o our_o miserable_a condition_n there_o do_v often_o such_o quame_n of_o terror_n come_v over_o our_o mind_n and_o conscience_n with_o such_o fainty_a fit_n of_o despair_n that_o we_o be_v even_o as_o heart_n sick_a for_o the_o time_n with_o they_o the_o cogitation_n of_o divers_a thing_n reflect_v upon_o our_o conscience_n make_v our_o droop_a spirit_n many_o a_o time_n even_o ready_a to_o forsake_v the_o body_n and_o give_v it_o its_o last_o farewell_n sometime_o that_o text_n of_o the_o hebrew_n which_o say_v that_o those_o who_o after_o they_o have_v taste_v of_o the_o heavenly_a gift_n and_o the_o power_n of_o the_o world_n to_o come_v if_o they_o fall_v away_o it_o be_v impossible_a to_o renew_v they_o to_o repentance_n this_o word_n impossible_a be_v a_o hard_a say_n and_o do_v wonderful_o dismay_v we_o sometime_o that_o unpardonable_a sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n which_o shall_v never_o be_v forgive_v neither_o in_o this_o world_n nor_o in_o the_o world_n to_o come_v do_v strike_v we_o even_o as_o dead_a without_o hope_n of_o recovery_n for_o let_v that_o sin_n be_v what_o it_o will_v be_v either_o this_o or_o that_o as_o perhaps_o we_o have_v read_v and_o learn_v out_o divers_a opinion_n of_o it_o what_o it_o be_v sure_o we_o think_v the_o greathesse_n and_o heynousnesse_n of_o our_o sin_n must_v needs_o without_o question_n comprehend_v it_o nay_o if_o it_o be_v a_o sin_n of_o such_o and_o such_o a_o nature_n as_o some_o be_v of_o the_o opinion_n it_o be_v there_o be_v not_o the_o least_o doubt_n to_o be_v make_v but_o that_o we_o have_v evident_o and_o often_o commit_v it_o sometime_o that_o place_n of_o do_v despite_n to_o the_o spirit_n of_o grace_n do_v speak_v hard_o unto_o our_o conscience_n and_o sometime_o that_o where_o it_o be_v say_v of_o esau_n that_o he_o find_v no_o place_n for_o repentance_n though_o he_o seek_v it_o with_o tear_n sometime_o the_o dart_a thought_n which_o do_v so_o vehement_o terrify_v and_o distemper_v our_o mind_n make_v we_o tremble_v to_o think_v on_o that_o place_n in_o the_o apocalypse_n where_o the_o damn_a ou●_n of_o their_o rebellious_a nature_n be_v say_v to_o curse_v and_o blaspheme_v &c_n &c_n sometime_o shall_v we_o think_v on_o cain_n sin_n that_o it_o be_v no_o other_o than_o those_o sin_n be_v ourselves_o have_v commit_v even_o perchance_o in_o the_o fame_n kind_n of_o malicious_a and_o murder_a thought_n against_o our_o neighbour_n beside_o so_o many_o and_o so_o great_a sin_n of_o other_o nature_n for_o the_o which_o we_o be_v more_o worthy_a to_o be_v damn_v than_o he_o sometime_o the_o grievous_a punishment_n of_o the_o murmur_a israelite_n who_o be_v angry_a with_o god_n out_o of_o impatience_n do_v pass_v sentence_n upon_o we_o of_o the_o like_a judgement_n and_o condemnation_n sometime_o again_o the_o application_n of_o saul_n case_n will_v disquiet_v we_o the_o application_n of_o the_o house_n build_v upon_o the_o sand_n the_o application_n of_o he_o who_o last_o estate_n be_v worse_a than_o the_o first_o who_o be_v deliver_v from_o one_o devil_n there_o enter_v seven_o worse_a one_o afterward_o into_o he_o sometime_o we_o stick_v with_o great_a fear_n on_o predestination_n be_v not_o a_o little_a touch_v with_o the_o utter_a improbability_n of_o our_o be_v fore-ordained_n unto_o salvation_n who_o be_v altogether_o so_o wicked_a and_o untoward_a that_o god_n may_v as_o well_o and_o with_o as_o good_a reason_n to_o our_o judgement_n save_o the_o devil_n himself_o as_o we_o whatsoever_o we_o hear_v speak_v either_o in_o scripture_n or_o else_o how_o to_o the_o condemnation_n of_o the_o wicked_a do_v as_o justlv_n and_o fit_o i_o think_v come_v to_o our_o conscience_n as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v frame_v on_o purpose_n for_o we_o as_o also_o whatsoever_o be_v say_v to_o the_o commendation_n of_o the_o righteous_a do_v sound_a again_o even_o as_o punctual_o to_o our_o particular_a shame_n and_o confasion_z of_o face_n the_o say_n of_o st._n peter_n to_o simon_n the_o sorcerer_n do_v most_o right_o i_o think_v fit_v we_o be_v thus_o true_o in_o the_o gall_n of_o bitterness_n and_o in_o the_o bond_n of_o iniquity_n so_o hamper_v and_o snare_v in_o our_o sin_n and_o terror_n of_o conscience_n that_o by_o no_o mean_n can_v we_o get_v out_o of_o these_o fear_n and_o distraction_n what_o ere_o we_o do_v doubt_n do_v thereof_o arise_v what_o now_o we_o like_v anon_o we_o do_v despise_v as_o for_o example_n if_o we_o do_v give_v liberal_o to_o the_o poor_a intend_v to_o take_v daniel_n counsel_n in_o his_o four_o chapter_n that_o be_v to_o break_v off_o our_o iniquity_n by_o show_v mercy_n and_o so_o forth_o then_o sure_o it_o come_v into_o our_o mind_n that_o our_o action_n be_v but_o pharisaical_a or_o that_o we_o do●_n it_o without_o charity_n without_o which_o though_o we_o shall_v give_v away_o all_o our_o good_n it_o will_v as_o st._n paul_n say_v profit_v we_o nothing_o if_o we_o do_v not_o give_v liberal_o when_o as_o our_o ability_n can_v do_v it_o then_o be_v we_o just_a as_o churlish_a naball_n or_o as_o wicked_a dives_n again_o if_o we_o do_v let_v in_o the_o consideration_n of_o our_o sin_n and_o miserable_a estate_n so_o near_o and_o deep_o into_o our_o apprehension_n that_o we_o can_v endure_v it_o then_o sure_o we_o be_v like_o cain_n ready_a to_o cry_v out_o that_o our_o raisery_n be_v great_a than_o that_o we_o be_v able_a to_o bear_v if_o on_o the_o other_o side_n we_o endeavour_v to_o forget_v it_o and_o put_v it_o from_o our_o mind_n then_o do_v we_o seem_v like_o saul_n to_o drive_v away_o the_o evil_a spirit_n with_o david_n music_n if_o we_o do_v keep_v on_o our_o go_v to_o church_n and_o the_o like_a outward_a duty_n when_o as_o we_o seel_v no_o good_a motion_n within_o we_o correspondent_a thereunto_o but_o rather_o all_o untowardness_n than_o we_o be_v as_o hypocrite_n that_o make_v people_n to_o be_v mistake_v in_o we_o in_o account_v and_o deem_v we_o to_o be_v better_a the●_n we_o be_v to_o be_v something_o when_o as_o we_o be_v nothing_o if_o we_o do_v whole_o omit_v and_o neglect_v those_o duty_n as_o not_o to_o go_v to_o church_n and_o the_o like_a then_o be_v we_o profane_a atheist_n and_o not_o fit_a to_o live_v among_o christian_n such_o be_v the_o unconstant_a weakness_n and_o unquietness_n of_o our_o soul_n that_o thus_o as_o job_n in_o the_o seven_o chapter_n the_o four_o verse_n when_o we_o lie_v down_o we_o say_v when_o shall_v we_o arise_v and_o
it_o be_v so_o combustible_a a_o thing_n that_o the_o least_o spark_n be_v able_a to_o set_v it_o in_o a_o flame_n alas_o the_o brickle_z reed_n be_v bruise_v and_o crush_v into_o shiver_n it_o be_v a_o very_a little_a holdfast_n that_o it_o have_v it_o be_v as_o good_a as_o quit_v break_v off_o and_o yet_o he_o will_v not_o break_v it_o off_o it_o shall_v grow_v together_o again_o become_v firm_a and_o useful_a such_o be_v the_o exceed_a mercy_n of_o the_o lord_n to_o poor_a sinner_n even_o beyond_o all_o humane_a likelihood_n and_o capacity_n when_o man_n do_v see_v no_o hope_n or_o life_n at_o all_o our_o god_n can_v then_o revive_v we_o with_o a_o call_n and_o yet_o lo_o all_o these_o comfortable_a persuasion_n can_v do_v no_o good_a all_o this_o be_v but_o surd●_n cavere_fw-la to_o sing_v as_o it_o be_v to_o a_o dead_a man_n this_o nor_o nothing_o of_o this_o fit_v our_o disease_n it_o come_v not_o aneer_v i_o think_v unto_o our_o case_n it_o agree_v not_o with_o our_o malady_n though_o christ_n come_v into_o the_o world_n to_o save_v sinner_n and_o though_o the_o lord_n have_v give_v most_o large_a and_o merciful_a promise_n in_o the_o scripture_n for_o the_o comfort_n of_o sinner_n yet_o this_o be_v nothing_o to_o we_o this_o concern_v not_o such_o sinner_n as_o we_o such_o grievous_a such_o constant_a such_o high_o rebellious_a sinner_n if_o other_o have_v sin_v grievous_o and_o yet_o be_v save_v certain_a there_o be_v a_o far_o great_a reason_n for_o it_o in_o their_o other_o towardliness_n to_o good_a or_o the_o like_a then_o that_o we_o can_v find_v in_o ourselves_o mark_v it_o it_o be_v this_o our_o present_a untowardness_n that_o always_o put_v we_o into_o the_o great_a plunge_n of_o despair_n and_o thus_o our_o thought_n stand_v full_o possess_v with_o nothing_o else_o but_o that_o we_o be_v remediless_a wretch_n desperate_a miscreant_n and_o utter_o forsake_v of_o god_n and_o no_o marvel_n that_o through_o this_o sad_a unhappiness_n of_o mind_n that_o we_o we_o miserable_a wretched_a and_o sinful_a soul_n be_v thus_o forsake_v when_o as_o our_o bless_a saviour_n himself_o in_o that_o his_o great_a agony_n of_o trouble_n and_o distress_n of_o mind_n on_o the_o cross_n cry_v out_o my_o god_n my_o god_n why_o have_v thou_o forsake_v i_o no_o marvel_n i_o say_v that_o we_o who_o be_v the_o great_a of_o sinner_n shall_v be_v forsake_v and_o leave_v alone_o to_o sink_v into_o unmerciful_a despair_n when_o as_o he_o that_o be_v no_o sinner_n at_o all_o even_o one_o with_o god_n himself_o with_o the_o imputative_a burden_n of_o our_o sin_n cry_v out_o as_o if_o he_o have_v be_v leave_v destitute_a and_o even_o ready_a to_o yield_v under_o they_o my_o god_n my_o god_n why_o have_v thou_o forsake_v i_o but_o to_o go_v on_o o_o the_o strength_n of_o melancholy_a or_o rather_o indeed_o the_o strength_n of_o sin_n and_o a_o convict_a conscience_n in_o melancholy_a nature_n there_o be_v no_o argument_n and_o reason_n of_o the_o most_o skilful_a divine_n that_o can_v ease_v our_o heart_n or_o refresh_v our_o soul_n in_o this_o extremity_n of_o trouble_n perhaps_o moderate_a physic_n convenient_a employment_n and_o the_o constant_a company_n direction_n and_o guidance_n of_o some_o wise_a understanding_n party_n may_v be_v necessary_a outward_a help_n for_o we_o but_o very_o the_o best_a inner_a comfort_n that_o at_o any_o time_n we_o do_v gather_v though_o usual_o it_o be_v but_o little_a be_v as_o i_o have_v former_o say_v by_o those_o that_o be_v or_o have_v be_v afflict_v with_o trouble_n and_o disturbance_n of_o mind_n somewhat_o alike_o we_o in_o the_o same_o kind_n either_o by_o a_o full_a understanding_n of_o the_o event_n passage_n and_o condition_n of_o their_o trouble_n or_o else_o by_o conference_n with_o they_o if_o it_o may_v be_v and_o communicate_v our_o estate_n and_o malady_n together_o take_v it_o for_o a_o rule_n that_o that_o physician_n still_o in_o all_o disease_n fit_v the_o patient_n best_o who_o be_v own_o experience_n do_v improve_v his_o skill_n and_o it_o confirm_v with_o a_o probatum_fw-la est_fw-la the_o experience_n i_o say_v of_o other_o misery_n be_v the_o best_a satisfaction_n we_o can_v find_v in_o our_o own_o and_o true_o we_o do_v not_o meet_v with_o a_o better_a or_o more_o general_o sovereign_a salve_n in_o the_o compare_v of_o all_o our_o judgement_n &_o experience_n together_o then_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o all_o our_o grievous_a torture_n and_o distress_n of_o mind_n to_o strive_v whole_o to_o rest_v ourselves_o as_o quiet_a as_o content_v and_o as_o patient_a as_o we_o may_v and_o to_o tarry_v the_o lord_n leisure_n our_o soul_n our_o body_n and_o all_o be_v in_o thy_o hand_n o_o god_n deal_v with_o we_o as_o it_o shall_v seem_v good_a in_o thy_o eye_n if_o thou_o have_v ordain_v and_o prepare_v we_o for_o heaven_n bless_a be_v thy_o name_n if_o thou_o have_v give_v we_o over_o and_o that_o we_o be_v like_o tare_n bind_v up_o and_o fit_v for_o hell_n bless_v also_o be_v thy_o name_n it_o be_v doubtless_o for_o thy_o glory_n and_o it_o be_v but_o our_o just_a desert_n come_v life_n come_v death_n come_v heaven_n come_v he●l_o the_o will_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v do_v we_o be_v not_o able_a to_o sustain_v the_o care_n of_o ourselves_o all_o the_o strength_n of_o our_o poor_a soul_n and_o body_n be_v not_o sufficient_a to_o take_v a_o full_a charge_n or_o undergo_v care_n enough_o to_o preserve_v the_o least_o creature_n in_o the_o world_n much_o less_o of_o so_o noble_a a_o creature_n as_o be_v the_o soul_n of_o man_n since_o therefore_o we_o be_v not_o sufficient_a for_o these_o thing_n we_o must_v do_v the_o best_a we_o may_v and_o cast_v the_o rest_n of_o our_o care_n upon_o god_n humble_o resign_v over_o ourselves_o unto_o he_o that_o so_o he_o may_v bear_v that_o care_n for_o we_o which_o our_o weak_a and_o narrow_a ●ouls_n can_v bear_v for_o themselves_o sure_o we_o do_v not_o a_o little_a offend_v god_n i_o be_o very_o of_o the_o mind_n in_o be_v over_o much_o discontent_a and_o impatient_o grieve_v as_o many_o time_n we_o be_v in_o ourselves_o ●ot_n though_o in_o the_o bitterness_n of_o our_o misery_n be_v persuade_v to_o be_v content_a and_o to_o be_v resolve_v with_o more_o quietness_n of_o mind_n we_o shall_v usual_o not_o without_o reason_n plead_v for_o our_o grieve_v and_o take_v on_o so_o deep_o o_o lord_n how_o can_v we_o be_v quiet_a and_o at_o rest_n to_o sustain_v such_o a_o hell_n in_o our_o breast_n can_v we_o carry_v fiery_a coal_n in_o our_o bosom_n and_o not_o be_v burn_v therewith_o can_v our_o soul_n be_v rack_v with_o such_o torment_a anguish_n of_o impious_a thought_n and_o despair_a terror_n and_o yet_o not_o weep_v sigh_n and_o abundant_o complain_v thereof_o do_v not_o hezekiah_n in_o the_o 38._o of_o isaiah_n chatter_v like_o a_o crow_n and_o a_o swallow_n and_o mourn_v like_o a_o dove_n for_o the_o fear_n of_o cut_v off_o of_o a_o few_o momentary_a day_n and_o can_v we_o be_v sufficient_o impatient_a with_o grief_n to_o be_v cut_v off_o from_o the_o land_n of_o the_o live_n even_o all_o hope_n of_o heaven_n for_o ever_o shall_v rachel_n mourn_v for_o the_o loss_n of_o her_o child_n so_o that_o she_o will_v not_o be_v comfort_v and_o can_v we_o weep_v and_o cry_v out_o enough_o for_o the_o loss_n of_o our_o soul_n unto_o all_o eternity_n nay_o can_v we_o endure_v but_o so_o much_o as_o to_o conceive_v the_o devil_n hale_v ●erking_a and_o torment_v any_o of_o our_o dear_a friend_n either_o live_n or_o depart_v this_o life_n i_o say_v to_o see_v their_o distract_a look_n to_o hear_v their_o lamentable_a and_o intolerable_a cry_n and_o not_o to_o have_v our_o bowel_n melt_v within_o we_o and_o we_o can_v endure_v to_o see_v ourselves_o turn_v out_o from_o the_o face_n of_o god_n for_o ever_o to_o burn_v and_o fry_v most_o deserve_o with_o everlasting_a pain_n in_o hell_n fire_n o_o let_v we_o alone_o at_o the_o thought_n of_o these_o thing_n to_o pour_v out_o ourselves_o into_o ocean_n of_o tear_n and_o to_o roar_v even_o roar_v aloud_o forth_o very_a disquietness_n of_o our_o heart_n i_o say_v o_o let_v we_o howl_v cry_v out_o and_o make_v a_o moan_n able_a to_o break_v the_o very_a heart_n of_o stone_n so_o just_a cause_n have_v we_o in_o this_o case_n i_o think_v to_o forrow_v without_o measure_n nay_o more_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a then_o to_o the_o very_a death_n be_v there_o any_o cause_n of_o sorrow_n like_o this_o cause_n weep_v not_o for_o i_o that_o labour_n may_v be_v spare_v to_o weep_v for_o other_o thing_n but_o weep_v for_o ourselves_o there_o be_v cause_n enough_o that_o be_v true_o to_o be_v weep_v for_o and_o nothing_o else_o but_o