Exile for the Friendship of Relations at Norwell and Southwell I am there begging pardon for sinful Compliances as in sitting late in an Ale-house in Southwell where the Company were Healthing it about though blessed be the Lord I drank not much yet I was a bad Example in sitting and sipping with the Wicked in wasting my precious Time my Prayer therefore is that the Lord would pardon that and continue Mercies and give me a thankful Heart in and a lively sense of Divine Goodness The 20th being the Sabbath-day through Mercy I find my self in a pretty good Frame of Spirit and took particular notice in my Diary of Mr. Coats's Subject which was Come unto me all ye that labour c. I there find a Desire that the Lord would work those Truths more and more upon my Heart by his Spirit that my Sins may be pardoned and my Soul prosper The 21st Under some Dulness occasioned by slavish fear of Man which I find bewail'd that Day with this Petition That the Lord would enable me to live by Faith and that I might encourage my self in the Lord my God under all outward Discouragements whatsoever who has delivered me does deliver and I trust will deliver me his poor Creature O! that my Sins may not provoke the Lord to turn away his Face The 23d Having this Day been stating Accounts with my Wife and several others with reference to Disbursements the three Months in the Summer of my Exile and Troubles in the Year 85 though I find them extraordinary large yet thrô Grace I find my self free from those Passions that upon such Accounts I used to be prone to my experience again there recorded of God's gracious Appearances for me 26th Mercy there again taken notice of in the Lord 's delivering me from Trouble and a Petition That if it were the Lord's Will I might be preserved from entering into Bonds which I and all my Friends did believe would be very ensâ—â—ring to me there I find Sin bewailed and lay heavy upon my Conscience 27th Manifestations made of Deliverance still from danger I there bless God I am still at liberty and hear nothing from the D. of N. of entering into those Bonds he required I then heard of Dr. Temple's Execution and took notice of distinguishing Mercy that he should be taken and I left who through Man's Rage and Wrath was in danger I there bless God I was not the Man 27th I took notice of the many comfortable Sabbaths that I have enjoyed since I came home without Fear or Disturbance Cousin Billingsley preached here from these Words Commune with your own Hearts which much affected me 28th A like Account as to Mercy and I remember no actual Sin that Day 29th The like Account with my Experience that God had blessed the means I had used for the cure of a Cold that held me 8th of October 1685 This day I returned from Lincoln where I had been some time and took notice the Lord gave me a very comfortable Journey no sad Providence occurred in the Journey I am yet delivered from Enemies notwithstanding their Rage and Threatning and from the ensnaring Bonds I begg'd then of the Lord That he would continue this Mercy and give me to live a thankful holy humble and fruitful Life and pardon the particular Sins of this Day and help me against it and to perform Promises made under my Afflictions 9th I there bless God for the Mercies of that Day and beg pardon for my Sins and that the Lord will cause me to live better the next Day 10th My Sins stare me in the Face being many and great there I find my self begging that I might eye the Blood of Christ and might through Grace be interested in it being the only Sovereign Remedy for a poor Sinner yet I am preserved from ensharing Bonds and enjoy through Mercy comfortable Liberty and sit under my own Vine with delight 11th This I find a comfortable Sabbath when Mr. Coats did most sweetly call invite and encourage Sinners to come to Christ O! that I may not stand out the Lord bless the Sermon to my poor Soul and pardon my Sins 12th No actual Sin that I know of I this Day begg'd Direction from Heaven about the Oath of Allegiance I and others in my Family were called to take and next day I did take it having observed no Intimations from the Lord against it but being well satisfied about it besides I feared if I refused it would be worse with us upon the account of our Meetings which I did desire to keep up I beg the Lord would enable me to keep the Oath being taken as a sacred Thing I am yet at liberty and free from ensnaring Bonds 15th I that Day begg'd the Lord would humble me under any thing of Sin that might be in my Swearing and taking the Oath the Day before 16th This Day Mr. H. acquainted me that one did say That the Lord would lie heavy upon me that I was to give a Security by Bond of 7000 l. which would ask a great time for me to get and that I was only Capt. L's Prisoner at large Well I find this hint in my Diary that Day That I can trust my God who has delivered me and that he will deliver me still from the Fury and Rage of Men and the Effects thereof 17th This Day I had an encouraging Letter from V. L. as if the Duke had done with me which I begg'd then the Lord would grant and enable me to live up to so great a Mercy For several other days after I am blessing God for the comfortable and quiet abode in my House and petition'd that the Lord would keep me from sinning away such Mercies 20th Wasting Time the great Sin acknowledged this Day and a Petition that the Lord would please to make me more active and diligent in Soul-concerns every Day as being every Day nearer Death 22d This Day I observe from Joh. 7. 44. in my reading this Passage Some of them would have taken him but no Man laid Hands on him Upon which Mr. Baxter has this Note God binders bad Men from doing what they would do and they know not how he doth it I have had great Experience of this my self the Lord be praised 25th This Day God made a very comfortable Sabbath to me and I trust will do my Soul good by it and set home another Sermon I then heard from Mr. Cotes concerning the Ease of Christ's Yoke I am yet through Mercy continued in my Family in Peace and Safety enjoy distinguishing Mercy and Love God help me to make a right use of it and still restrain Men that they do not hurt me and enable me to give thee the Glory of that Mercy thou pleasest to give me the Comfort of 26th This Day I was at Cos R's Funeral the Lord prepare me for my Change I came from thence over a dangerous way in Safety 27th God has this Day preserved
her weakness by Asthma and Feaver increasing and prevailing upon her she had some Disturbance by Temptations from Satan that grand Adversary of Souls to question her right to Happiness c. and whether God would accept so vile a Wretch Yet blessed be the Lord through Faith and Prayer and the never-failing Mercies of a Good God she got over all baffled Satan and was filled with unspeakable Joy in the Holy Ghost The Doctor prayed with her and afterward she her self prayed a considerable time distinctly and aloud and for her then Comfort and Support many Passages of Sermons she had heard especially some from Mr. Coates on that Text Come unto me all ye that labour c. came fresh in her Memory which the Lord helped her to improve to the great Comfort and Refreshment of her Soul She was now full of Heavenly Thoughts and from the abundance of her Heart her Mouth was now speaking c. She uttered nothing but what was savoury religious and serious and being spent by great Weakness went triumphantly to Heaven upon the 29th of May 1686. The Doctor told me it was the comfortablest Night that ever he enjoyed in all his Life Here at Leicester worthy Mr. Clarke the Nonconformist waited my coming that he might accompany me to Ollercarr which he did and the Lord made him mighty useful by his Christian advice to me June 3. I got home where I found a most sad and disconsolate Family I that needed others to comfort me was fain to be their Comforter June 5 1686. This Day my Diary manifests that I was grown more calm under the Lord 's mighty Hand and the loss of a Dearest Wife but yet too full of miserable Complaints and quarrelling Thoughts against my Maker the Lord forgive me and compose me for the Duties of the Sabbath following June 6. This Day was a very comfortable Sabbath with reference to my Enjoyments but the want of my Dear Wife occasioned Floods of Tears and violent Passions the Lord pardon my tumultuous Thoughts and in the Multitude of my Thoughts within me let his Comforts more refresh my Spirit June 7. This Day my Dear Wife was Interr'd at Crich where if the Lord please so to order it I desire and intend to lie by her the Lord pardon Sins while I had her and such as I have been most guilty of since I parted with her June 8. This Day through Mercy not much quarrelling with the Lord's Dispensations more calm than I was O that I could be dumb with Silence and not open my Mouth in a fretting and repining way because the Lord has done what 's done unto me the Lord sanctify this sad Breach upon me to my Soul's Good May I remember my Sins that have provoked God and be humbled for them and return to the Lord that smiteth June 9. This Day I find my Heart better fitted and framed to bear this sad Stroke This Day was preach'd by Mr. Coats my Dear Wife's Funeral-Sermon from these words 1 Thess 4. 13. But I would not have you to be ignorant Brethren concerning them which are asleep that ye sorrow not even as others which have no hope Passion in the Sermon I was guilty of when in the Commondatory Part he was shewing what a Wife she was the Lord pardon my unbecoming Carriage to her Several days after I gave account of the Lord 's quieting my Mind under the sad Loss sustain'd June 20. This was a very comfortable Sabbath and the Lord gave me great Delight under the Droppings of the Sanctuary Mr. Coats preach'd from these words Hear the Rod and who hath appointed it O! I would fain make application to my self O that I could hear the Voice of this sad Providence and take out the Lessons of this Rod O that I may carry my self like a Christian under this mighty Hand of God! I have cause to fear I did not improve Last-Summer's Mercies as I ought and God has made this a much more uncomfortable Summer O that as ever I desire the Lord should not go on in this way I may better improve this Dispensation Several Letters I receiv'd from Friends heartily sympathizing with me in my Trouble take the Copies of some of them as follows A Letter from Mr. J. R. dated June 4 1686. Dear Sir BY a Letter I received Yesterday from Mr. Coats I perceive the Letters I sent you in Town on Monday Night were like Job's Messengers one bringing you sad the other sadder News but I hope you receiv'd the News with Job's Temper or mind viz. The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the Name of the Lord and God hath taken away the Delight of your Eyes and removed her out of sight she is in a state of Rest and you must behold her no more among the Inhabitants of the World this must needs be a pressing Affliction to lose so near so dear and so pious a Companion and that which aggravates the Affliction is that she was taken away in your Absence so suddenly and so unexpectedly But Dear Sir though God has crost your Will herein yet I hope a Tumult doth not arise your Passions and Affections are not in an uproar Why shall not God take away his own in his own time way and manner But Sir I am not to teach you God has rarely qualified you with the Graces of his Holy Spirit so that you know how to receive and how to resign a Mercy you know how to add to Faith Patience as you lately heard There is an animal Life of a Soul void of Grace accommodating it self to the Interests of the Flesh to all such things as are grateful to Sense but then there is a Spiritual Life which is a Principle enabling a Soul to bear up when God takes away our greatest Comforts such a Principle there is in you All I have to do is to sympathize with you and to pray that God would afford you more of the Assistances of his Holy Spirit that you may exert that Principle now at this time under this Loss The truth is 't is one of the most lovely Sights in the World to see a Christian acting Faith Patience Humility Submission Resignation c. in times of Affliction this makes the World say that there is something more in Religion than Talk but as I said I am not to teach you You have the teachings of the Spirit which will enable you to improve this Loss to better Gains The Lord sit us all for our last and great Change and in the midst of our private Losses let 's remember the Afflictions of Sion now sitting in the Dust So prays Your Sympathizing Friend and Humble Servant J. R. I hope you will return up again after some Days I think it will be convenient to divert your self with your Friends here some time after you have performed the last Office of Love to your Yoak-Fellow c. A Copy of a Letter from Cos M. S. dated
wherein is Rending and Tearing Work with more of himself and the Influences of his Blessed Spirit O Brother it's one of the bravest Sights in the World to see a Christian in the Exercise of Grace sutable to the Dispensation to see him acting Faith Patience Humility Submission Resignation and Divine Joy in a time of pressing Affliction This will recommend Religion to the World and convince the Men of it there 's more in it than meer Talk Heartily glad we should be if you would come for a while to London to divert your self here among good Men I hope it might be for your Advantage and do conclude it highly necessary for you a while to leave Kirkstead we all send our hearty Remembrances to you and yours the Lord fit us all for our great and last Change and in the midst of our private Losses let us remember the Affliction of Sion So prays Your sympathizing Brother and Servant G. Disney POEMS The Damneds Doom or some Meditations in Verse upon the last great Sentence at the Day of Judgment made by me Jan. 1685 upon Mr. Dunton's Paraphrase of Mat. 25. 41. Depart from me ye Cursed into everlasting Fire prepared for the Devil and his Angels Dunton's Heavenly Past-time pag. 96. HEark heark the Trumpet sounds the Court is met Christ as Chief Justice on the Bench is set Adorn'd with glorious Robes and rich Attire Not now abas'd on Earth advanced higher Guarded by Saints and Angels such as they Must all attend the Service of this Day He who when Prisoner here was forc'd to stand And at a Mortal's Bar hold up his Hand Was mock'd at spit upon reproach'd and bled Must now be Judg alone of Quick and Dead Thô here debased yet now Heaven rings With Hallelujahs to this King of Kings Jesus Call forth the Prisoners then they must appear To answer for themselves thô Crimes are clear Hear what they 'l say thô all they say alas Can never â—inder th' Sentence that must pass Sinners appear come forth your Graves arise You all are summon'd to the grand Assize You called are into the great Court-Royal And may not stay you must attend your Trial Make way for wretched Prisoners there make room They 'r going to receive their final Doom But now methinks I see those trembling Souls Gazing about to find some hiding Holes Calling to Rocks to hide them but in vain For such late Calls and Cries can nought obtain Their Hearts were hardned in a Day of Grace When God did sweetly call and give them space For to repent and now those rocky Stones Has no regard at all unto their Groans The Mountains will not fall to hide them from The Wrath of him that sitteth on the Throne O what a Sight I see the wretched State Of Fools bewailing Folly when too late From Hell and Graves they come but must not stay They are to pass Accounts and so away Now Soul and Body meets and must remain By Righteous Sentence in eternal Paâ—â— They Partners were in Sin whilst here below And must together groan in endless Wâ— The Graves do open and the Prisoners rise And now methinks I hear the dolâ—ful Cries Of those poor Sinners who on Earth took Pains To make their Souls as black and full of Stains As any could be grudging always when They were out-stripâ— in Sin by any Men Methinks I hear their Pleas and see them quaking And all the little Shifts they would be making And all because they would appear at th' Bar Of God a little better than they are The griping Vsurer now looks about To find some better Hands than his Hands 〈◊〉 Which he do's well remember heretofore Did often by Extortion wrong the Poor The Wanton dare not own his wanton Eye I must says he have better or I die Mine oft unâ—hastly upon Women gaz'd And for laseivious Looks I stand amaz'd The Lawyer would reject his gâ—lded Tongue By which be Thousands in the World did wrong He knows that he being fee'd or brib'd ne're stood To make a good Cause bad a bad Cause good The Gallant dare not own his strutting Feet Which often â—rudg'd thrâ— thick and thin to meet A dirty Whore or hectoring drunken Friend To help him vainly precious Time to spend My Feet were swift in running to do Evil I must have other Feet or go to th' Devil The Politician dares not own his Head Another he would fain have in its Stead What that contriv'd he always was pursuing And finds his wicked Brain was his undoing Some they would part with Fingers and would have E'ne any Fingers out of any 's Grave So they may miss their own which was too beâ—â— To sign Decrees against the Innocent Thieves they would part with Hands and Liars Tongues The Instruments of many grievous Wrongs Long-winded Sinners they would part with Lungs The Hypocrite too has a mind to part With his to change it for a better Heart Ill-minded Sinners now would change their Mind For any others of a better Kind And others other things would swap if then They might hereby but pass for better Men Kings would disown their Crowns and Grandure too And now appear in Rags if that woâ—ld do But O! prodigious Madness herein's shown Eâ—r every one must keep what was his own And wicked Men must see their monstrouâ— Folly Who would not whilst on Earth be strict and holy Well! are the Prisoners come then let them hear They must my Wrath and Fury ever bear Sentence Depart 〈◊〉 sed Wretches ne're return Into a Fire that must always burn Prepared for the Devil and a Crew Of wicked Wretches just like such as you Prisoner Ah dreadful Word Depart and that from thee Must needs be th' upshot of all Misery Lord let me stay but here the Sinner â—ries My clamorous Conscience and my blubbring Eyes May Tormoâ—â— be enough dear God abate Some pity shew me for my â—retch'd Estate Is such I cannot bear let Sentence be A little bated by a Sight of thee Judg. Nay Sinner â—noâ— my Presence heretofore Thou did'st noâ— like thô offer'd o're and o're Thou would not entertain me in thy Heart And now my Sentence Sinner â—â— Depart An offered Christ and Pardon thou didst slight And what can follow on 't but dismal Night Prisoner And must I now depart and undergo This dreadful heaâ—y Doom yet let me know That thoâ—â—ilâ— bless me Lord and then I caâ— Refresh my Soul with this where â—'re I am I 'm loth to go but if I must I crave That I before may Heaven's Blessing have Jesus Sinner be gone nay more I must thee tell My Curse shall go along with thee to Hell My Blessing thou despis'd for many Years And canst not have it now thô sought with Tears Thou must for ever fry and flame and rot Depart then Sinner for I know thee not Prisoner And must I be accurs'd and never see Thy blessed Face again then Lord let me Find out for an
prosper that love her I am Madam Your most obliged Friend and humble Servant G. D. A Letter to Mr. Lob at London Jan. 25 83. SIR I Receiv'd your very kind Letter and Christian Lines some time since and had return'd you my Thanks sooner had not extraordinary Business prevented I have cause to bless God for your Acquaintance and for that Christian Society I had with you whilst at London O that I could be as serviceable to you in the best things as you have been to me Poor unworthy Me who needs jogging Heavenwards It 's with us as with others a very dark and gloomy Day but Light is sown for the Righteous who shall reap if they faint not and Gladness for the upright in Heart as the Psalmist speaks O that we could be like the Doves of the Valley mourning after the Lord who seems to be departing from us The Sons of Violence with us act high our Sufferings many but O that none of these things may move us neither may we account our Lives dear to us if call'd to lay them down for the Sake of Christ and his Gospel If the Lord give us but a fixed Heart that we can trust in him we need not then be afraid of the worst times nor the saddest of Tidings but may encourage our selves in the Lord our God under the greatest Discouragements from Men whatsoever Surely the People of God have greatly provok'd God O that we may repent and return to him that smiteth God will certainly arise in the behalf and plead the Cause of his People he will work Deliverance for Sion if not in our time yet in his O that this may satisfy us And that when Foundations seem to be out of course we may with Faith and Patience look up to the Rock of Ages Dear Sir pray for us and for me in particular who need your Prayers that my Faith fail not that I may with Constancy and Courage own the good Ways of God and hold fast my Integrity the very desire of my Soul being to keep close to God I would fain win as many into Heaven's-ways and as much strengthen such Hands as hang down as such an unworthy Wretch as I may What Interest I have at the Throne of Grace I hope shall not fail to be improv'd for the Church of God and for you my dear Friend Being Sir Your hearty well-wishing Friend and Humble Servant G. D. A Letter to Mrs. Sarah Reyner one of my Charge Jan. 85. Dear Mrs. Sarah I Receiv'd yours which though the first receiv'd is not I perceive the first sent for which I thank you and have according to your Desire sent you by paying it to Mr. Charleton's Clerk 50 s. I much wonder your Sister Elizabeth would not vouchsafe me one Line since she left the Country but however do rejoice to hear upon enquiry you both do well as to this World and I would fain hope you will not be negligent in minding the Affairs of a better World nor dare be regardless of your precious and immortal Souls You are both the Children of Religious Parents have been blest with a good Education and many Prayers are I believe lodg'd in Heaven for you so that you cannot miscarry at so cheap a rate as others may who have not had your Advantages for being good O that I could prevail with you to live up to such distinguishing Mercy You have I perceive good Settlements in the World bless God for that But O! are you well setled and interested in Christ Have you made sure of a Treasure in Heaven have you laid hold on eternal Life and secured the everlasting Welfare of your precious Souls Be your worldly Accommodations never so great till this be done your Work is not half done You are in a City of great Advantages I pray attend upon the best most powerful Soul-searching and Conscience-awakening Ministry you can with the Leave of those who are your Superiâ—rs Be thorow-pac'd in the Ways of God dare not to be slighty and indifferent in the Family-Duties I hope you are priviledged withal nor to neglect Closet-Duties as Prayer Reading the Scriptures Self-Examination Meditation and the like at least Morning and Evening Shun and avoid Temptations as much as may be considering the great Corruption and Depravedness of Nature Remember your Creator in the Days of your Youth and having set your Face Heavenward look not back It will be much my Rejoycing to see you and all of you the Off-spring of most pious Relations now with God do well and if my poor Prayers and Endeavours may any ways contribute hereto they are not they have not they shall not through Grace be wanting I being Yours c. G. D. Some Passages of a Letter in answer to my Mother Disney complaining of Decay of her Sight Honoured Mother I Return you my humble Thanks for your welcom Lines and do hope that the uncertainty of my Man's last Journey to Lincoln will excuse my then Silence It troubles me much to hear of your Eyes Decaying and Dimming which as you please to observe is one Effect of old Age It 's great Mercy the Lord has given you the use of them so long but far greater that he has given you a Heart to use them to his Glory and your own and others Benefit and Advantage I fear your too much Reading in the Day-time and at all by Candle-light has and does that way prove prejudicial to you I would therefore humbly beg you to favour them as much as may be and this am consident of would you please to take up your Abode with us there 's no Eyes in my Family but would chearfully and readily be at your Service to excuse and preserve your own which I trust the Lord will yet continue to you My good Aunt Thornton I am perswaded will not be against my improving this Argument for the Enjoyment of your good Companies here most desirable to us My Eyes I can perceive are not so strong as they have been O that as our bodily Eyes dim and decay the Eye of Faith may grow more clear for certainly a Look within the Vail must be most refreshing and supporting to a gracious Soul and a renewed Mind Those indeed that see best in our Days with bodily Eyes see en'e little or nothing but what has a sad and frightful Aspect and may occasion Matter of sad Thoughts but by Faith we may look into an unseen World take a View of unseen Comforts and live upon unseen Riches and Happiness which are the most pleasant things the most certain and the most lasting The worst in this World need not nay cannot dismay us Whilst we look not at the things which are seen but at the things which are not seen for the things which are seen are temporal but the things which are not seen are eternal 2 Cor. 4. 18 c. A Letter to Mr. Whitaker Jan. 24 1683. SIR THis Day I receiv'd yours till