perceive what it was that swallowed up his heart and where his delight treasure and life was O How much do most of us who go for Christians fall short of these things and How vast a distance between his experience and ours and what reason have we to read these lines with blushing and to blot the paper with tears and to lay aside this book a while and to fall upon our faces before the Lord bemoan the cursed unsuitableness of our hearts unto God and to bewail that we do so little understand what this walking with God living by faith means O at what a rate do some Christians live and how low flat and dull are others His love to Christ and souls made him very desirous to spend and be spent in the work of the Ministry accordingly he did comply with the first loud and clear Call to preach the everlasting Gospel and though he was but about two and twenty years old yet he came to that work like one that understood what kind of employment Preaching was He was a workman that needed not to be ashamed that was throughly furnished for every good word and work one that was able to answer gainsayers one in whom the Word of God dwelt richly one full of the spirit and power one that hated sin with a perfect hatred and loved holiness with all his soul in whom Religion in its beauty did shine one that knew the terrors of the Lord and knew how to beseech sinners in Christs stead to be reconciled unto God One that was a Son of thunder and a Son of consolation In a word I may speak that of him which Paul spake of Timothy that I know none like-minded that did naturally care for souls And had he lived to have preached often O what use might such a man have been of in his generation one in whom learning and holiness did as it were strive which should excel He never preached publickly but twice and then he came to it as if he had been used to that work forty years delivering the Word of God with that power and Majesty with that tenderness and compassion with that readiness and freedom that it made his hearers almost amazed He was led into the Mysterie of the Gospel and he spoke nothing to others but what was the language of his heart and the fruit of great experience and which one might easily perceive had no small impression first upon his own spirit His first and last Sermons they were upon Communion and intimate converse with God out of Job 22. 21. A subject that few Christians under Heaven were better able to manage than himself and that scarce any could handle so feelingly as he for he did for some considerable time maintain such an intimate familiarity with God that he seemed to converse with Him as one friend doth converse with another This text he made some entrance into whilst he was here but the perfecting of his acquaintance with God was a work fitter for another world He was one that kept an exact watch over his thoughts words and actions and made a review of all that passed him at least once a day in a solemn manner He kept a Diary in which he did write down every evening what the frame of his spirit had been all the day long especially in every duty He took notice what incomes and profit he received in his spiritual traffique what returns from that far-country what answers of prayer what deadness and flatness and what observable providences did present themselves and the substance of what he had been doing and any wandrings of thoughts inordinancy in any passion which though the world could not discern he could It cannot be conceived by them which do not practise the same to what a good account did this return This made him to retain a grateful remembrance of mercy and to live in a constant admiring adoring of divine goodness this brought him to a very intimate acquaintance with his own heart this kept his spirit low and fitted him for freer communications from God this made him more lively and active this helped him to walk humbly with God this made him speak more affectionately experimentally to others of the things of God and in a word this left a sweet calm upon his spirits because he every night made even his accounts and if his sheets should prove his widing-sheet it had been all one for he could say his work was done so that death could not surprize him Could this book of his experiences and register of his actions have been read it might have contributed much to the compleating of this discourse the quickning of some and the comforting of others But these things being written in characters the world hath lost that jewel He studied the Scriptures much and they were sweeter to him than his food and he had an excellent faculty in opening the mind of God in dark places In the latter part of his life he seemed quite swallowed up with the thoughts of Christ Heaven and eternity and the neerer he came to this the more swift his motion was to it and the more unmixed his designs for it and he would much perswade others to an universal free respect to the glory of God in all things and making Religion ones business and not to mind these great things by the by CHAP. XII Ministers are not to carry on low designs HE was not a little concerned about Ministers that above all men They should take heed lest they carried on poor low designs instead of wholly-eying of the interest of God and souls He judged that to take up Preaching as a trade was altogether inconsistent with the high spirit of a true Gospel-Minister He desired that those which seemed to be devoted to the Ministry would be such first heartily to devote their All to God and then that they should indeavour to have a dear love to immortal souls He was very ready to debase himself and humbly to acknowledge what he found amiss in himself and laboured to amend himself and others This saith he I must seriously confess that I must needs reproach my self for deficiency in a Christian spiritual remembrance of you speaking to a dear friend and for a decay in a quick tender touch as of other things so of what relates to your self in the spirituality of it Not that I think not of you or of God but that my thoughts of you and spiritual things are not so frequent savoury and affectionate as they ought to be By this reflection you may easily perceive that I see further in duty than I do in practice The truth of it is I grudge that thoughts and affections should run out any whither freely but to God And what I now desire for my self I desire for you likewise that God would sweeten the fountain our natures I mean that every drop flowing from thence may savour of something of God within
Hell it self in as much as the cause doth eminently contain all and more evil than the effect This is the spiritual death whereby we are dead in sin the fruit of the first curse Thou shalt die the death The souls life in this world is its being in God and living to God and injoyment of God and the souls eternal life will be so to know God as to be formed into his likeness and to be received into a full participation of and communion with God The souls death here is its being fallen off from God and its being carried into its self and its eternal death will be an utter separation from him Now mankind being thus fallen from God Christ is sent for this very end to bring man back again to God and then man is brought unto God when he is brought out of that state of self-love into that state whereby he gives up himself wholly to God Thus the soul being quickened by the spirit of God leaveth off living to its self which was its death and lives to God which is its life Here comes in the great duty of denying of our selves for Christs sake which indeed were no duty if there were nothing in us contrary to God This then is our duty not to seek our own things before the things of God to lay Gods glory as the foundation of all our actions and if there be any thing in us contrary to that to give it no leave to stand in competition with God Now were this deeply rooted in our hearts how would contention anger wrath and heart-burning and all things of this nature cease Such influence would the taking Gods part against self have into the quiet and peace of men that it cannot be without it We see how wisely God hath ordered things that the very act of mans being off from God should be the cause of confusion war and misery and what can be more just and equal than this that God who is the author of our being should be the end of our being O then that once our minds were again reduced to this frame To live wholly to God! O that we were wrought into a through prejudice against self which stands between us and true peace I beg of you to spare some time from the world and retire into privacie where you may apply this to your own soul My prayer to God for you out of the strong yearnings of my soul towards you is that he would make this effectual to its intended end for the inward peace of your soul for your comfortable walking with God in this life and that condition wherein the wisdom of God hath placed you I writ these lines with the strength of affection I feel fear grief compassion working strongly O pity me in the midst of all these whilest I cannot call to remembrance the cause of these without a flood of tears Fulfill therefore my joy in being of one mind yea if there be any consolation in Christ if any comfort in love if any-fellowship of the spirit if any bowels of mercy fulfill ye my joy and be like-minded having the same love being of one accord of one mind Phil. 2. 1 2. I leave you to the love and mercy of God and to the working of his spirit which alone is able to put life and power into these words Which that he would do is the earnest request and servent prayer of yours John Janeway Now upon a faithful perusal of this Letter it pleased the Lord to give a meek and more complying spirit and in a great measure it wrought its intended effect The noble design of this sweet peace-maker took so far as to produce an ingenious acknowledgement and sorrowful bewailing of the want of that self-denial humility meekness and love which doth so much become our sacred profession Upon the hearing of this good news how strangely was this good man transported Upon the receipt of a letter from the former friend which gave no small satisfaction hopes that his former indeavours were not in vain And that he might drive the nail to the head he speedily backs his for former Letter with a second which speaks these words Dear Friend MY soul is inlarged towards you and my affections work within me and yet give me leave now to lay aside those weak flames of natural affection and to kindle my soul with divine love Here there is no fear of running out too far while all is in Christ and for Christ O that now I could let out the strength of my soul not as to your self but as to God! O that my heart were more inlarged that it may be comprehensive of a more full true Christian love God is altogether lovely and to be loved for himself and we are so far dark ignorant and blind as we do not see and account him most amiable O let me have such discoveries of his excellency that my heart may pant thirst and break for its earnest longings after the richest participations of him that I may for ever be swallowed up of his love O that I may love him a thousand times more than I do That I may rejoyce in him and take the sweetest complacencie delight in him alone that I could let out my affections most where I see any thing of himself any beams of the image of his holiness and that beareth the impression of his spirit Had you visited me from the dead could my affections have moved more strongly or my rejoycings have been greater than they were at the receipt of those lines which I had from you wherein so much of Christ in you and the goodness of Christ to me did appear Fulfil my joy in the Lord refresh my bowels and let not my rejoycing be in vain If it hath pleased the Lord to make the imperfect weak indeavours of his unworthy servant any way subservient to his own glory in you it is that which I account my self unworthy of desire to receive it from him as a manifestation of the riches of his free goodness to my self knowing my self to be unworthy to be his instrument in the meanest service much more in so great a one as this is Hoping and perswading my self of the effectual vvork of my former letter I am incouraged to write again both because of my promise and your expectation and the vveighty nature of the subject that I vvas then upon vvhich vvas Love True Christian love which is a thing so comly so beautiful and sweet and of such vveighty power in all actions to make them divine excellent that there is no labour lost in indeavouring to get more of it even in those in vvhom it most aboundeth The Apostle 1 Thes 4. 9 10. Though he knew that they vvere taught of God to love one another and that they did it towards all the Brethren yet even them he beseeched to abound more and more in that grace of love The former principal
and desired that she might be in travail to see Christ formed in the souls of the rest of her Children and see of the travail of her soul and meet them with joy in that great day Then He charged all his Brethren and Sisters in general as they would answer it before God that they should carry it dutiful to their dear Mother As for his eldest Brother William at whose house he lay sick his prayer vvas that he might be swallowed up of Christ and Love to souls and be more and more exemplary in his life and successful in his Ministry and finish his course vvith joy His next Brothers name vvas Andrew a Citizen of London who was with him and saw him in this triumphing state but his necessary business calling him away he could not then be by yet he vvas not forgot but he was thus blessed The God of Heaven remember my poor Brother at London The Lord make him truly rich in giving him the Pearl of great price and make him a Fellow-Citizen with the Saints and of the House-hold of God the Lord deliver him from the sins of that City may the world be kept out of his heart and Christ dwell there O that he may be as his name is a strong man and that I may meet him with Joy Then he called his next Brother whose name was James whom he hoped God had made him a spiritual Father to to whom he thus addressed himself Brother James I hope the Lord hath given thee a goodly heritage the lines are fallen to thee in pleasant places the Lord is thy portion I hope the Lord hath shewed thee the worth of a Christ Hold on dear Brother Christ Heaven and Glory are worth striving for The Lord give thee more abundance of his grace Then His next Brother Abraham was called to whom he spake to this purpose The blessing of the God of Abraham rest upon thee the Lord make thee a Father of many spiritual Children His fifth Brother was Joseph whom he blessed in this manner Let him bless thee O Joseph that blessed him that was separated from his Brothren O that his everlasting Arms may take hold on thee It is enough if yet thou mayest live in his sight My heart hath been working towards thee poor Joseph and I am not without hopes that the Arms of the Almighty will mbrace thee The God of thy Father bless thee with the blessings of Heaven above The next was his Sister Mary to whom he spoke thus Poor Sister Mary thy body is weak and thy daies will be filled with bitterness thy name is Marah the Lord sweeten all with his Grace and Peace and give thee health in thy Soul Be patient and make sure of Christ and all is well Then His other Sister whose name was Sarah was called whom he thus blessed Sister Sarah thy body is strong and healthful O that thy Soul may be so too The Lord make thee first a wise Virgin and then a Mother in Israel a pattren of Modesty Humility and Holiness Then another Brother Jacob was called whom he blessed after this manner The Lord make thee an Israelite indeed in whom there in no guile O that thou maist learn to wrestle with God and like a Prince maist prevail and not go without the blessing Then he prayed for his youngest Brother Benjamin who was then but an Infant Poor little Benjamin O that the Father of the Fatherless would take care of thee poor Child that thou which never sawest thy Father upon Earth maiest see him with joy in Heaven the Lord be thy Father and Portion maist thou prove the Son of thy Mothers right Hand and the joy of her Age O that none of us all may be found amongst the unconverted in the day of Judgment O that every one of us may appear with our Honoured Father and dear Mother before Christ with joy that they may say Lord here are we and the Children which thou hast gratiously given us O that we may live to God here and live with him hereafter And now my dear Mother Brethren and Sisters Farewel I leave you for a while and I commend you to God and to the word of his grace which is able to build you up and to give you an inheritance among all them which are sanctified And now dear Lord my work is done I have finished my Course I have fought the good Fight and henceforth there remaineth for me a Crown of Righteousness Now come dear Lord Jesus come quickly Then that Godly Minister came to give him his last visit and to do the office of an inferiour Angel to help to convey this blessed soul to Glory who was now even upon Mount Pisga and had a full sight of that goodly Land at a little distance When this Minister spake to him his heart was in a mighty flame of Love and Joy which drew tears of Joy from that pretious Minister being almost amazed to hear a man just a dying talk as if he had been with Jesus and came from the immediate presence of God ` O the smiles that were then in his Face and the unspeakable Joy that was in his Heart one might have read Grace and Glory in such a mans Countenance O the praise the triumphant praises that he put up And every one must speak praise about him or else they did make some jar in his Harmony And indeed most did as well as they could help him in praise So that I never heard nor knew more praises given to God in one Room than in his Chamber A little before he died in the Prayer or rather Praises he was so wrapped up with admiration and joy that he could scarce forbear shouting for joy In the conclusion of the Duty with abundance of Faith and fervency he said aloud Amen Amen! And now his desires shall soon be satisfied He seeth Death coming apace to do his office his jaws are loosened more and more and quiver greatly his Hands and Feet are as cold as clay and a cold sweat is upon him but O how glad was he when he felt his Spirit just agoing Never was Death more welcom to any mortal I think Though the pangs of Death where strong yet that far-more-exceeding and Eternal weight of Glory made him indure those bitter paines with much patience and courage In the extremity of his pains he desired his eldest Brother to lay him a little lower and to take away one Pillow from him that he might die with the more ease His Brother replied that he durst not for a world do any thing that might hasten his Death a moment Then he was vvell satisfied and did sweetly resign himself up vvholly to Gods disposal and after a few minutes vvith a sudden motion gathering up all his strength he gave himself a little turne on one side and in the twinkling of an eye departed to the Lord sleeping in Jesus And now blessed soul thy longings are satisfied and thou
condescension Those that believingly seek him he is not ashamed to be called their God I am sensible in some measure of your burdens and indeed that must needs be a burden that keeps the soul from pursuing its chiefest good My prayers for you are that you may have such teachings from God as may make you understand how far heavenly things are more pretious than earthly and that you may with all your might seek mind and love that which hath most of true excellency in it which hath the only ground of real comfort here and of eternal happiness hereafter CHAP. XIII His Love and Compassion to Souls HE was full of pity and compassion to souls and yet greatly grieved and ashamed that he did no more to express his sense of the worth of souls and that his bowels did no more sensibly yern over them who he had just cause to fear were in a Christless state Though there were few of his Kindred and Relations nay of his neighbours and acquaintance but he did make a personal application to either by letters or conference Yet for all this who more ready to cry out of want of love to souls and unprofitableness to others in his generation that he was no more full of compassion and that he made no better improvement of all the visits that he made in which we should not make carnal pleasure and recreation our end but the imparting receiving of some spiritual gift This made him after a considerable absence from a dear friend to groan out these complaints God by his providence hath off brought us together but to how little purpose God and our Consciences know As for my part I may justly bewail my barreness Oh that I should be of so little use where I come Oh that my tongue and heart should be still so unfruitful I am ready to hope sometimes that if it should please God in his providence to bring us again together we may be more profitable one to another And this indeed makes me more desirous of coming to you again than any thing else That I may do some good among you Oh how few study to advance the interest of Christ and the benefit of one anothers souls in their visits as they should and might do I am not able at present to order my affairs so as to come comfortably over to you but I hope e're long the Lord will give me leave to see you and be refreshed by you I desire to supply my absence by this sure token of my remembrance of you and also that I might have an opportunity for that which we ought to eye most in the injoyment of one anothers society But I have found that partly because of the narrowness of my heart not being inlarged to bring forth into act what I have greatly desired partly because of the malice of the Enemy of our souls who indeavours all that possible he can to lay stumbling blocks in our way to real union and nearer acquaintance with God and Christian communion from these and other causes it is that I have been too little beneficial to you for mercy It may be I may write that with freedom which in presence I should not have spoken I shall take occasion from your desire of my presence with you to look higher to the desires of our souls to be in conjunction and communion with the highest good who fills up all relations to our souls who is our Father our Husband our Friend our God yea our all in all But when I say He is all in all I mean more than that which we count all For every one doth confess that it is God alone that doth bless all other things to us and that it is not out of the nature of those things that we injoy that they are blessings but it is God which makes them comforts to us And thus God is to be acknowledged All in all common injoyment But besides this God is something to the soul which he is by himself and not in the mediation of the creatures where God is as a portion and lived upon as our true happiness He is not only the complement of other things but He himself is the souls sufficiency I am a little obscure I desire to be plainer I mean that through the dispensation of the Gospel God is to be lived upon delighted in and chosen before all for for this very end hath Christ appeared that he might make God approachable by man and that we who are a far off may be mad nigh There is a nearness to God which we are not only allowed but called to in the loving dispensations of the Gospel so that now we are not to be strangers any longer but friends we are to have fellowship and communion with God Why do not our hearts even leap for joy why do not our souls triumph in these discoveries of love Even because we know not the greatness of our priviledges the highness of our calling the excellency of our advancement the blessedness of this life the sweetness of these imployments the satisfaction of these injoyments the comfort of this heavenly life the delights of this communion with God We know not the things which belong to our peace and thus when God calls us to that which he sent his Son for when Christ offers us that which cost him so dear we with the greatest unworthiness the vilest ingratitude refuse slight and contemn it What think we doth it not go even to the heart of Christ and to speak after the manner of men doth it not grieve him to the soul to behold his greatest love scorned the end of his agony to be more vilely accounted of than the basest of our lusts Let us therefore according to that high calling wherewith we are called enter into a more intimate acquaintance with God and as we find our souls acting naturally towards those things which are naturally dear to us so let us strive to highten our spiritual affections We are very apt to look upon duties as burdens rather than priviledges and seasons of injoying the greatest refreshments but these apprehensions are very low and earthly O that we could at length set our selves to live a spiritual life to walk with God and out of a new nature to savour and rellish those things which are above Could we but really intensely believingly desire that which is real happiness and the Heaven of Heaven union and communion with God these desires would bring in some comfort As for me you must give me allowance to get my affections more emptied into God though it be with a diminution of love to you and blessed will that day be when all love will be fully swallowed up into God But spiritual love doth not destroy natural affections or relative obligations but perfect and rectifie them and so I may giving up my self to God be still yours CHAP. XIV His trouble at the Barrenness of Christians HE was
another because they were of different judgments and perswasions There where he saw most holiness humility and love there he let out most of his affections And he was of that holy mans mind that it were pity that the very name of division were not buried and that the time would come that we might all dearly pay for our unbrotherly nay unchristian Animosities CHAP. XVI An account of the latter part of his Life FOR the latter part of his Life he lived liked a man that was quite weary of the world and that looked upon himself as a stranger here and that lived in the constant sight of a better world He plainly declared himself but a Pilgrim that looked for a better Country a City that had foundations whose builder and maker was God His habit his language his deportment all spoke him one of another world His meditations were so intense long and frequent that they ripened him apace for Heaven but somewhat weakned his body Few Christians attain to such a holy contempt of the world and to such clear believing joyful constant apprehensions of the transcendent glories of the unseen world He made it his whole business to keep up sensible communion with God and to grow into a humble familiarity with God and to maintain it And if by reason of company or any necessary diversions this was in any measure interrupted he would complain like one out of his element till his spirit was recovered into a delightful more unmixed free intercourse with God He was never so well satisfied as when he was more immediately ingaged in what brought him nearer to God and by this he injoyed those comforts frequently which other Christians rarely meet with His graces and experiences toward his end grew to astonishment His faith got up to a full assurance his desires into a kind of injoyment and delight He was oft brought into the banqueting house and there Christs Banner over him was love and he sate down under his shadow with great delight and his Fruit was pleasant unto his tast His Eyes beheld the King in his Beauty and while he sate at his Table his spicknard did spend forth its pleasant smell he had frequent visions of Glory and this John lay in the bosom of his Master and was sure a very beloved Disciple and highly favored His Lord oft called him up to the Mount to him and let him see his excellent Glory O the sweet foretasts that he had of those pleasures that are at the right Hand of God How oft was he feasted with the feast of fat things those wines on the lees well refined and sometimes he was like a Giant refresht with new wine rejoycing to run the race that was set before him whether of doing or of suffering He was even sick of love and he could say to the poor unexperienced World O tast and see and to Christians come and I well tell you what God hath done for my Soul O what do Christians mean that they do no more labour to get their sences spiritually exercised O why do they not make Religion the very business of their lives O why is the Soul Christ and Glory thus dispised Is there nothing in communion with God Are all those comforts of Christians that follow hard after him worth nothing Is it not worth the while to make ones calling and Election sure O why do men and women jest and dally in the great matters of Eternity Little do people think what they slight when they are seldom and formal in secret duties and when they neglect that great duty of Meditation which I have through rich mercy found so sweet and refreshing O what do Christians mean that they keep at such a distance from Christ Did they but know the thousandth part of that sweetness that is in him they could not choose but follow him hard they would run and not be weary and walk and not be faint He could sensibly and experimentally commend the ways of God to the poor unexperienced world and say His ways are pleasantness and justifie wisdom and say her paths were peace He could take off those aspersions which the Devil and the atheistical frantick sots do cast upon Godliness in the power of it Here is one that could challenge all the Atheists in the world to dispute here is one could bring sensible demonstrations to prove a deity the reality and excellency of invisibles which these ignorant fools and mad men make the subject of their scorn Here is one that would not change delights with the greatest epicures living and vie pleasure with all the sensual rich gallants of the world Which of them all could in the midst of their jollity say This is the pleasure that shall last for ever Which of them can say among their Cups and Whores I can now look Death in the Face and this very Moment I can be content yea glad to leave these delights as knowing I shall injoy better And this he could do when he fared deliciously in spiritual banquets every day He could upon better reason than he did say Soul thou hast goods laid up for many years He knew full well that what he did here injoy was but a little to what he should have shortly In his presence there is fulness of joy at his right hand there are pleasures for evermore Where is the Belshazzar that would not quake in the midst of his Cups whilst he is quaffing and carouzing in bowls of the richest Wine if he should see a hand upon the Wall writing bitter things against him telling him that his joys are at an end and that this night his soul must be required of him that now he must come away and give an account of all his ungodly pleasures before the mighty God Where is the sinner that could be contented to hear the Lord roaring out of Zion whilest he is roaring in the Tavern Which of them would be glad to hear the trumpet sound and to hear that voice Arise you dead and come to judgment Which of them would rejoyce to see the Mountains quaking the Elements melting with fervent heat and the Earth consumed with flames the Lord Christ whom they despised coming in the clouds with Millions of his Saints and Angels to be avenged upon those that knew not God and obeyed not his Gospel Is not that a blessed state when a man can lift up his head with joy when others tremble with fear and sink with sorrow And this was the condition of this holy young man In the midst of all worldly comforts he longed for death the thought of the day of Judgment made all his injoyments sweeter O how did he long for the coming of Christ Whilst some have been discoursing by him of that great and terrible day of the Lord he would smile and humbly express his delight in the forethought of that approaching hour I remember once there was a great talk that one had