God and wait upon him Let me resolve never to choose a new Lord or Master Or take up with any Portion beneath God himself or any way of Hope or Salvation but by J. Christ my only Saviour neither let me forsake the way of Faith and Holiness for all the hopes and Happiness of this World if put to my choice But be always able to say Blessed be God I now can that I will return to my former Husband for then it was better with me than now I had peace and refreshment in my former ways I will return to them Lord forsake me not utterly Keep not thine Anger for ever Cast me not away from thy presence and take not thy H. Spirit from me Restore unto me the Joy of thy Salvation that my Heart may be inlarged to praise thy name and to run the way of thy Commandments XXVI Confession of Sin Humiliation and Repentance must follow upon Self-Examination Advice concerning Repentance of some particular Backsliding The great Perplexity and Distress of a Penitent Sinner represented as a Caution against returning to Folly. THat we may turn unto the Lord is the end of searching and trying our Ways Lord I have been searching my Heart and considering my ways but can find little or no good neither can I discover all that is evil in both But I find enough to make my own Heart condemn me and Thou who art greater than my Heart and knowest all things maist much more condemn me I am altogether unclean polluted and abominable If I go about to enumerate the Sins of my Thoughts Words and Actions in all the periods of my Life hitherto if I consider my Omissions of Duty and dayly Crimes by actual Commission if I reflect upon my Sins according to their respective Object as either against Thee O God and against my Neighbour and against my own Soul or Body and compare my Heart and Life with thy strict and holy Law and think in how many Instances I have transgrest every of thy Righteous Commandments I find they are more than the hairs on my head they cannot be number'd Who can tell how oft he hath offended Many of my sins make little Impression on my Memory I observe them not I remember them not but this hinders not but they may make deep Impression on my Conscience which will one day be awake and set them in order before me and they are all written in thy Book of Remembrance in order to my final Judgment All my sins are before thee but thou requirest my humble Confession of them in order to Repentance and as a part thereof that I freely acknowledg their hainous aggravations to shame and humble my self the more before thee whom I have offended and provok'd How long did I serve divers Lusts and Pleasures with the neglect and forgetfulness of God How sad a prospect may I take of the far greatest part of my Life past Especially of my younger years which have been trifl'd away in vanity and folly And since I have known the way of Truth how shamefully have I prevaricated with God I am confounded to consider how often I have despised the Commandment and rebelled against the Light against the Principles of Education and the checks of Conscience frequent warnings from God and reproofs from Others contrary to my Profession and Experience contrary to the obligation of peculiar Mercies solemn Promises Resolutions and Engagements and a nearer Relation to God than many others Which sins have more dishonor'd my Lord discredited his H. Gospel gratifi'd the Devil scandaliz'd the world and strengthen'd the hands of the ungodly than the sins of others And alas How much of my precious Time is thus gone which if duely improv'd would now afford me comfort to review How much Guilt have I contracted every Year particularly in this last I now begin another which will soon be gone as that which was concluded yesterday And shall I only advance in Age to increase the number of my sins and heighten my Account against the Day of Reckoning In Temporal and Civil Affairs Day unto Day uttereth knowledg ond Night unto Night teacheth Wisdom We are Taught by Experience many useful Lessons which we should not else have learnt to reform many Errors and mistakes to correct many rash and foolish Actions and Speeches c. And shall I not learn wisdom by the Experience of another year in what concerns my greatest my Eternal Interest Shall not the reflection on my past sins prevent my Commission of the like Especially considering how my sins are aggravated by every Mercy I have received by every Affliction I have undergone every awakening Sermon I have heard every motion of God's Spirit and every check of my own Conscience that I have resisted every offer of his Grace every warning of his Providence every invitation and call of his Word every purpose to Repent and every resolution I have made to forsake sin The greater knowledg I have had of my danger the longer time I have deliberated about it the oftner I have confess'd my sin and been sorry for it every reproof I have had from others and every promise I have made my self doth aggravate and encrease my Guilt How many Years hath God vouchsafed me to work out my Salvation but how little have I done towards it Had I died this last year how unprepar'd must I have made my Appearance before his Tribunal What opportunities of doing and receiving good have I let slip Have I not made it more my business to seem Religious than really to be so How much of the Patience of God have I abus'd refusing his calls to Repentance resisting the strivings of his Spirit smothering my Convictions and turning the Grace of God into wantonness Instead of returning gratitude for all his Love I have repeated my Transgressions after Forgiveness and gone in a circle of Repenting and Sinning even to this day Lord I am asham'd and lay my self in the dust before thee To me belongs nothing but shame and confusion of Face If God should condemn and punish me as a Rebel and a Traytor and give me the Portion of Hypocrites I cannot but own his Justice even in Hell I must do it with my flaming Tongue and Breath O Spare me for thy mercies sake Enter not into Judgment with thy servant for in thy sight shall no flesh living be justified if Thou lay Judgment to the Line and Equity to the Plummet Give me Repentance unto life never to be repented of never to be retracted again Bring me to the Blood of Jesus which cleanseth from all sin Behold the sighings of a contrite Spirit For I acknowledg my Transgressions unto thee against whom I have sinned O Lord forgive the Iniquity of my Sin. I am unworthy to lift up my Hands and Eyes towards Heaven unworthy to be called thy Son or thy Servant I am vile in mine own eyes because I have made my self vile in thine For this I
SERIOUS REFLECTIONS ON TIME AND ETERNITY With some other Subjects Moral and Divine To which is prefix'd an Introduction concerning the first Day of the Year how observed by the Jews and may best be employed by a serious Christian By JOHN SHOWER The second Edition Corrected and very much Enlarged LONDON Printed for Joseph Watts at the Angel in St. Pauls Church-yard 1689. TO THE READER THE visible Decay of Piety and Evangelical Holiness is a common subject of Complaint and hardly ever more justly than now with respect to the Generality of Churches and particular Christians All serious and considering Persons must needs reckon themselves obliged on that account both to Mourn and Fear The causes of serious Mourning are too many and too notorious to be unobserved by those who have any Knowledge of the present State of the Christian Religion in Europe even among the most Reformed The general unacquaintedness with the Mysteries of the Gospel the Reproach of the solemn Assemblies by the Corruption of its Doctrines and Worship and the dishonour cast upon its most sacred Institutions the late terrible Desolations of the Temple and Sanctuary and grievous sufferings of our Brethren in many parts of the World the shameful Apostacy of so many Thousands from the Doctrine and Worship of the Gospel and other considerations of this kind which might be named do carry with them a loud call to Humiliation and Mourning But the Practical Degeneracy of Professing Christians unto Worldliness Profaness and Sensuality doth not only afford matter of Lamentation for the present but too much ground to Fear that the bitterness of Death is not past that God 's Anger is not turned away or his Controversie ended with the Protestant Churches And after we have known so many Thousands to renounce and abjure their Religion in an Hour of Temptation and see so many more yea the far greatest part in a preparedness to Revolt on the like or lesser Trials by reason of their vicious Lives because they receive not the Truth in the Love of it what can we reasonably expect but further Tokens of Divine Displeasure And how little of any encouraging Prospect is there by the serious Reformation of Persons Families and Churches to turn away his Wrath Where are there any Symptoms of the Recovery of the Power of Godliness from whence in our Age there is so undeniable a Declension and acknowledged by all Parties that there is so How little is to be seen of any such thing among those who are most Forward and Zealous in espousing the Reformed Interest even such as would be thought of all others to be most concerned for its Preservation and have suffered not a little for it The distressed case of our Brethren cannot but move our Bowels of Compassion when we read or hear from time to time the Relation of the barbarous Proceedings of their Persecutors But the sensual wicked Lives of professedly Reformed Christians is certainly a more dreadful object to be considered and ought so to be regarded by us as the Consequences of it are much more to be feared than of the fiercest Persecution by open and avowed Enemies For the Church of Christ never lost either Truth or Holiness that way it hath rather been a considerable outward Means for the preservation and encrease of Both. Though this cannot be said but the direct Contrary concerning Protestants persecuting one another for lesser Differences The sad Effects of it have been seen and felt to that degree in weakning the common truly Christian Interest among us that now if ever there is a louder Call than ordinary to Forbearance and Forgiveness and Unity of Affection that our Divisions with a revengeful persecuting Spirit may not prove our Ruin. And whatever Expectations we may and ought to have from the unfulfilled Prophecies of God's rebuilding Sion in the latter days and destroying her Enemies which we have no reason to question but he will most gloriously effect and ought daily to pray that he would hasten it for his Names sake yet can we never hope to see any thing considerable of that kind in our Time without a great Repentance and Reformation and the more Plentiful pouring out of the H. Spirit for the healing of the Nations I therefore wish that the confident expectations of a speedy deliverance of the Church may not divert us from the present Duty we are called to as the proper appointed Means to which God hath directed us for that end Before the destruction of Jerusalem by Titus what was it that did hinder the Jews from hearkning to the Voice of God and Man for their Preservation but this Presumption that at that time their Messiah would come and save ' em And that Day of the Lord which is expected wherein he will plead the Controversie of Zion against Babylon how Glorious soever it may be in the Issue may be 't is likely it will be such as shall disappoint our vain and foolish Hopes concerning it God will throughly purge his Temple and punish the Men that are at Ease and setled on their Lees and tread down the Outer-court of false Professors Therefore all ranks and degrees of Men should be awakened to serious Repentance And are there any hopeful Beginnings of such a Thing within view Is there any thing on Foot to be observed like such a retrieving of Gospel Holiness in the Hearts and Lives of Men Doth not the Name and Thing grow more and more into Contempt every day and who can tell how far it may proceed to procure Judgment upon any particular Place or Country that is guilty of so general and provoking a Defection It concerns us therefore every one to look to himself to Repent and do our first Works and make our Peace with God that we may be found within the small number of those who shall be thought worthy to escape the almost Epidemical infection and to stand before the Son of Man. On which Account any thing that is likely to awaken Men to Consideration of the great acknowledged Principles of Religion cannot be unseasonable Yea in such a case the meanest and weakest Endeavours may be of some use The Subjects of the following Reflections are most of them of that kind necessary to be attended to by all sorts of Persons and so cannot be too often prest though in different Manners The usefulness of the subject Matter and the smalness of the Bulk are two things which are wont to recommend a Book to most Readers For which reason I may Hope this will be read by several who suffer much better because bigger books to lye by them neglected Some may possibly give it the reading as a New-years gift And whoever shall be so far perswaded by it as to set apart some Time in the beginning of the Year for Self-examination Confession of sin Repentance Thanksgiving and solemn renewal of his Covenant with God which several of these Reflections may not only excite to but
can do for me more abundantly than I can ask or think exceed my largest thoughts out-strip my highest Expectations And no man was ever disappointed who made Thee his Hope When I meet with Crosses and Wrongs Unfaithfulness Contempt Hatred and Persecution from Men I need not wonder I was never told by God it would be otherwise here Did I look for less from Creatures and expect more from God Did I reckon this World to be a state of Trial and not a place of Rest and Satisfaction My Faith and my Desires would be stronger with respect to God and Heaven and temporal Calamities and Disappointments less afflictive and vexatious And what is there O Lord in Heaven or in Earth my Soul can desire besides Thee Is there any thing desirable but as it is thine of thee and from thee And bears some Impression of thine Excellence or brings some Intimation of thy Love And what can I reasonably desire what that is worth desiring or having but thou art able to be and do and give In whom or what shall I Rejoyce but in Thee O Lord shall I solace my self in transitory Goods that slip between my Fingers and perish in the Using or relish carnal Joys which pollute and debase the Soul When I may and ought to Rejoyce in Thee at all Times as the only Source of perfect Everlasting Joy. Let me then stir up my drooping desponding unbelieving Heart to rejoyce in God who takes Pleasure in the chearful Service and Obedience of his Children who delighteth in those who delight in him Is not * Vid. Mr. Howe Of Delighting in God. Delighting in God a most essential vital part of Religion Should it not be my constant Frame Hath not God sufficiently provided that it may be so Can I say and believe that God is the Portion of my Soul that he is my God and I hope to live with him for ever and not Rejoyce Or can I consider the Grace of the new Covenant the matchless Love of Christ and the precious Promises of the Gospel and not see reason to Rejoyce Yea doth my Soul love God and endeavour to please him and is not the very Act and Exercise of holy Love mixt with unspeakable sweetness Whom is there in Heaven or in Earth or Hell that I ought to Fear but Thee Who hast a negative Voice in all the Designs of Men and Devils an hook in their Nostrils a Bridle in their Mouths to make them fulfil thy Pleasure and in every thing accomplish thy Soveraign Decree Is there any other in whom I may repose my Trust but in Thee O Lord the Rock of Ages The might of thy Power the unsearchableness of thy Wisdom the righteousness of thy Nature the stability of thy Truth the riches of thy Grace and the immutability of thy Promise are a sure foundation for my Soul to trust to and rely upon Thy word stands firm for ever and the Truth of thine ability and readiness to help in every time of need endures the same throughout all Generations At all times and in all places my soul may trust in thee and find relief And they who know thy name will do so for in the Lord Jehovah is Everlasting Kindness and Strength To answer all my doubts to supply all my wants to fill all my desires May not God take it unkindly that I trust him no more And is it not a criminal unkindness that I give him not the glory of all these Excellent Attributes which are the grounds of Trust by a constant steady intire dependance on him for all that I need I have none in Heaven but Thee O Lord as the object of my Invocation and Worship Let other Christians have recourse to new Mediators and call upon other Gods I will make mention of thy Name and of thy Righteousness only And ask of thee whatsoever I need for the sake of thy Christ my only adorable Mediator Him thou hearest alway with him thou art always well pleased I honour the holy Angels as glorious Attendants about thy Throne and bless thee for them as Ministring Spirits for the good of thy Servants but I dare not invoke or worship 'em because they are Fellow Servants On the same account I honour the memory of Departed Saints but neither invoke them or pay them religious worship That Glory thou wilt not give unto another I have no precept in Holy Scripture to direct no promise to encourage no Example to authorize the invocation of any other but Thee in whom I believe and trust Rom. 10.14 Having such a God in Heaven what can I need on Earth His Eyes behold me his Wing is over me his Hand can supply me his Grace provide for me I can want nothing that is Good unlese I should need somewhat which God the infinitely Blessed and Allsufficient God cannot bestow If thou art the Portion of my Soul all mine Enemies cannot make me miserable unless they can void Heaven of the presence of God hinder his care bind up his hand or obstruct his Love. But tho my Enemies cannot I fear my Sins may They alone can separate between God and my Soul. And considering the multitude and aggravations of them and thine unspotted Holiness and Justice I should have too much reason to fear and tremble yea and utterly despair If I had none in Heaven but Thee But thy word assures me that I have a Mediator there a faithful and a compassionate High Priest Jesus Christ the Righteous whom thou hast exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance and Remission of Sins Who lives for ever in Heaven to make Intercession till he hath brought me there to behold his Glory and partake of it That Glory O Lord thou hast reserved for Heaven in this world we only desire believe and hope to injoy it Whom have I in Heaven That is the place of Fruition What can I desire upon Earth This world is the place of Desires as the other of full Injoyment Most of that which men call Injoyment in this Life consists but in Desire Desire or Lust is all that is in the wicked world 1 John 2. c. 13. the Riches of a Covetous worldling makes him desire more and the great mystery of Intemperance is to create and increase desires and Desires of another kind are the portion of good men in this world O that I could breathe after a state of perfect Fruition in Heaven with more importunate desires Who will give me to be in Heaven with Thee On Earth I desire nothing So one version Let me O my Soul think of Heaven as such a place or state of blessed Injoyment speak of it seek it long for it prepare for it as such And let Jesus Christ who is the desire of all Nations through whom all Divine Communications are made to fallen Sinners be the great object of my present desires and love Let me desire nothing but as in him and for him that believing
implied in them What matter of rejoycing may it now give me to admit the Hope that my Blessed Saviour will say such words as these to me and bid me stand upon his Right-hand among his Sheep O what an exulting frame of Soul will such Expressions raise How shall all my Doubts and Fears and Sorrows be scatter'd in a moment and cease for ever O Glorious Day when my blessed Lord shall thus publickly acknowledge me for his own and plead my Cause against all the Accusations of Satan and the malicious Calumnies of all his Instruments when I shall be able to say of all my Sins and Sufferings as my Lord upon the Cross It is finished it is finished My warfare being accomplish'd being more than Conquerour over all through him who loved me and died for me and now is come to wipe away all tears from mine eyes as it were with the Napkin that was bound about his Head when laid in the Grave all being the fruit of his meritorious Death Then shall I have nothing more to fear or wish or beg I shall offend provoke and dishonour him no more or by my folly and scandal discredit his holy Name and Gospel but by consummate Holiness be fitted to rejoyce in his Presence and Love and celebrate his Praise for ever I shall never more lament his Absence or complain of his Anger never see a cloud on his Face or a Frown in his Look any more Now I must wait and pray struggle and strive labour and suffer desire and expect believe and hope c. but then perfect Rest and Holiness Love and Joy Vision and Fruition Bliss and Glory unutterable and everlasting shall take place All the Attributes of God all the wonderful Perfections of Christ will then be glorified in Believers and admired by them His invariable Truth will then be honoured which they trusted to and waited for for now they shall know and find they did not wait in vain They hop'd in his Word and ventur'd their Salvation upon it and now they shall receive the end of their Faith and Hope infinitely beyond what they ever expected or believed The Glory of Divine Wisdom will then appear when the Constitution Administration and Design of the Mediator's Kingdom shall be fully known in the admirable Order and Beauty of every part of it with the exact tendency of all the particulars to one Glorious End and the whole Undertaking crown'd with so blessed an Issue What is now a Mystery even to Believers themselves and hath a Veil upon it shall then no longer be so all the Riddles of God's Grace and Providence shall be plainly understood O how transporting a View must it needs be when the Glory of all the Divine Attributes which God intended to accomplish in and by Christ shall be manifest to his Redeemed Saints The whole method of our Salvation will then appear to be the fruit of unsearchable Wisdom when we shall all see the Reality and Substance and entire Scheme of all that God designed in and by him all that was typified of him and foretold concerning him in the Old Testament How will it all appear to be the manifold Wisdom of God! Ephes 3. c. 10. As in uniting Heaven and Earth together in the Person of our Mediator fulfilling the Truth of a terrible threatning in his Death and by the same way accomplishing * Vid. Mr. Charnock of the Divine Attribute Wisdom many gracious Promises satisfying Justice and at the same time shewing Mercy manifesting infinite Grace and Kindness by shedding of Blood conquering Death by dying and disarming the Law by Obedience to it c. afterwards subduing the world to the Faith of the Gospel by the foolishness of Preaching making men wise to Salvation by the knowledge of the Cross and spreading that Faith the more by all the opposition made against it c. How wonderfully will a clear View of these things discover and glorifie the Wisdom of God. But the Love and Grace of Christ the infinite Goodness and Compassion of God will then be magnified in an especial manner What but Soveraign Love in the whole Contrivance and Counsel of God about our Redemption What admirable Love and Grace in the whole management of that design What unparallel'd kindness in the accomplishment of it by the Sacrifice of the Son of God And how Glorious will this Love appear when he shall come again to give us the full Harvest of all his Purchase With what admiring Thankfulness shall Believers then contemplate the unsearchable Riches of his Grace In all the Parts and Instances of his Humiliation from his Conception to his Crucifixion and Burial in all the Evidences and Discoveries made of it from the first Promise to its Completion yea from before the Foundation of the World in the Covenant of Peace between the Father and the Son until his second Coming to Judge the World and deliver up the Kingdom to his Father How shall we then admire and adore his Powerful Grace which snatcht us as Firebrands out of everlasting Burnings that effectually shin'd into our minds by heavenly Light conquer'd the Opposition of our stubborn Wills Sanctified our carnal Hearts rescued us from the Tyranny of Satan and the Dominion of Lust giving cherishing and preserving the holy Seed of Grace and making it Spring up to Eternal Life defeating the malicious and subtil Endeavours of the Devil to destroy it inabling us to indure Tribulation and persevere to the end giving us Victory over Death conducting us through the dark Valley raising our Bodies reviving and reuniting them to our Souls and rendring them glorious like his own Body and at length rewarding our imperfect Services with Eternal Life Yea tho our best Services were mixt with Sin our holiest Duties spotted our most couragious Sufferings mixt with unbelief yet rewarded with a Blessedness that hath no alloy of Evil but all the ingredients of a Perfect Felicity and nothing to lessen and interrupt it How shall we then admire the Bounty of our Gracious Lord the Freeness Tenderness Riches and the exceeding Greatness and Glory of his Infinite Goodness and Grace to poor Believers With what Extasies of Joy and Gratitude may we imagine that our Lord will be then admired by all his Redeemed ones Saying This is He who made our Peace with God and reverst the Sentence of Damnation which we were under who bought us with the price of his most precious Blood bore the Wrath of his Father and submitted to an infamous and cursed Death for us He assumed our Nature that we might partake of his became the Son of Man that we might be made the Children of God for our sakes he became poor that we through his Poverty might become Rich He stoopt to bear the greatest Ignominy and Reproach to confer Honour on us He was for a time forsaken of his Father that we might not be so eternally He felt the stroke of his Anger against Sin that
am troubled and mourn and my Soul is grieved within me O thou Heavenly Physician of Souls from thy Pity alone I expect my cure I am miserable and undone without thy Compassion and expect no relief but from the Treasure of thy Grace I must perish and sink under the burden of Sin if thy merciful hand do not save me and lift me up I am intangled and insnar'd by the Devil and my Lusts and without thy Succour can never hope to get free O Lord forgive my Sin and heal my Soul Deliver and save me for thy Mercies sake May I not yet hope in thy Mercy Thou hast mercifully born with me hitherto thou callest me to repent thou commandest me to return and promisest to forgive those Sins which are confessed and forsaken O do not cast me out of thy Sight and Presence now I desire from the bottom of my Heart to return to thee I abhor my self in dust and ashes for my past Iniquities But alas such is the hardness of my Impenitent Heart that I am even asham'd of my humblest Repentance how much more may God despise and reject it But hast thou not given thy Blessed Son to dye for Sinners and exalted him to this very end to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance and Remission of Sins And by the word of thy Grace thou beseechest all even the Greatest Sinners to accept of mercy and art more willing to pardon than we can be to Repent 'T is thy Delight and Glory agreeable to thy Nature and declared Name as a God gracious and merciful slow to Anger and of great Kindness forgiving Iniquity Transgression and Sin. O Pardon mine Iniquity for it is great and receive an humble Penitent who implores thy Grace according to the Tenor of thy new Covenant flying to the arms of thy Mercy through the merits of Jesus Christ who is able to save to the uttermost all that come unto God by him Lord hear my Prayer and let not the mixture of my weaknesses and unworthiness turn it into Sin but graciously vouchsafe to look upon a returning Prodigal and cause me to hear the voice of Joy and Gladness that my sorrowful Heart may be comforted and my life be directed to thy Praise Lead me into the path of life that I may no longer err from the way of thy Commandments Teach me to do thy Will O God and write thy Law upon my Heart that I may never more return to Folly. I am convinc't of the Evil of Sin of thy Right to govern me of the Equity and Justice of thy Law of the sweetness and rewards of keeping thy precepts O sanctifie my Heart and make me Sound in thy Statutes that I may hate every false way and be devoted to thy Fear the remainder of my Life If there be any particular Lust or Wickedness which through the power of Temtation and the deceitfulness of Sin you have fallen into that hath wasted Conscience and rob'd you of your Peace and provok't God to write bitter things against you be sure to humble your self without delay in an especial manner for that Backsliding Confess it freely with its aggravations Consider whether it was not after some special manifestation of God's Love after some special warning some strong Conviction under or soon after some great Affliction from God or some more than ordinary kindness of his Providence c. And impress such Thoughts to humble your self the lower search into the grounds and causes of such Apostacy such as the abatement of your Watchfulness the neglect of serious closet Devotion making bold with Temptation too great compliance with vain Company venturing too far in lawful or indifferent Things toò much Confidence in your own Wisdom Strength and stedfastness not fearing sufficiently the Approaches and Beginnings of Sin or avoiding the fuel incentives and occasions of it c. Palliate and disguise nothing that may make your sin exceeding sinful lest by some little Art of the Devil you deceive your self by an half-Repentance and the Evil Spirit you think to be cast out return again with seven worse than himself and so your latter end be worse than your Beginning For if the sin be not truly hated but only cover'd over with penitential Ashes it will quickly flame out again when it meets with combustible matter and a strong blast of Temptation But if you are griev'd to the very Heart and abhor the Sin and resolve to quit it you need not doubt of God's readiness to receive you to Mercy His Spirit is yet striving with you if you are willing to Repent and return to God. He sought you and call'd you to return when you were wandring as a lost sheep in the broad way and can you think he will not be found of you if you seek him with your whole Heart Therefore renew your Repentance and beg more earnestly a Spirit of Humility Holy Fear and Watchfulness And every morning implore Divine succours against that Sin and all Temptations to it Which as much as possible you must avoid Constant and fervent Prayer after Repentance must be your refuge and your Remedy If you let fall your hands this Amalek will prevail again As soon and as far as you fail in the constancy and fervency of that Duty your Sin will get strength and successfully attempt you another Time. But by this practise God may turn Evil to work for Good make you gain by your loss stand the faster by your Falls and become stronger by the discovery of your weakness and so be better establisht for the future But take heed that you pervert not the Grace of God and encourage your self to sin again by the supposition that if you should Fall 't is but to Repent and renew your Resolutions and all will be well This is a subtle Artifice of Satan but such methinks as should take with none who have ever known by Experience what it is to Repent Who have felt the burden of Sin to be heavier than a Millstone than Luke 23. c. 30. 17. c. 2. the weight of a Mountain Who have tasted how evil and bitter a thing it is to depart from God. Who have loathed and abhorr'd themselves with deep Remorse and Sorrow and Anguish of Spirit wishing with all their Hearts that they had not sinn'd and if it were in their power would give all the world to retrieve it and would rather dye than commit that Folly again they then repented of Let those who have not their own Experience to confirm this read over and consider the case of David when he wrote the Penitential Psalms How many like him have roar'd and cried out under the sense of sin of stings and furies in their Conscience of the poison'd Arrows in their Souls and his Terrors surrounding them whereever they went from the sense of sins Malignity the apprehensions of God's Anger and the consequent Fears of his Wrath. Serious Repentance after great Transgressions is
learn'd in some measure what Sin is by the sorrows and anguish of an Hearty Repentance now I have discovered so much of the Snares and Devices of Satan whereby I have formerly been betraid now I am sensible of the dangerous and powerful influence and infection of bad Company the Treachery of fleshly Lusts the bewitching Temptations of the World and have tasted a little by my own Experience of the Pleasantness of Wisdom's Paths the Peace and Satisfaction of Devotedness to God by the present Rewards of a calm Conscience the communications of Divine Grace and the Encouragement of an Holy Hope c. and am persuaded of the Stability of his Word and the Certainty of Eternal Life to all who continue in well-doing shall I after all this ever break with God again Shall I ever cancel this Engagement violate this my Vow and falsifie so many repeated Promises and Resolutions Oh that his Power may rest upon me and his Grace work in me both to will and to do that this God may be my God for ever and my Guide unto Death Let me never reassume this Gift and Surrender of my self or defraud God of his Right and Propriety His I am and Him I will serve living wholly to Him using all I have for him being willing he should do what he list with his own and consequently dispose of me and of all that any way belongs to me as shall seem Good in his Eyes I am Thine O Lord save me Command me my work appoint me my Duty direct my Station order my Condition Let me be Thine tho imployed in the meanest service and the most laborious self-denying work Tho I should be but a Doorkeeper in thine House an Hewer of Wood or a Drawer of water Tho I must pinch the flesh and swim against the Tide and renounce what before I valued yet This God shall be my God for ever By this means when I come to Dye if God should add more years to the little number I have past besides this I have now begun I may be able to say with Upright Hezekiah Remember Lord how I have walked before Thee in mine Integrity That in the face of Death and the Grave in the view of another World and the near prospect of Eternity I may be able to Rejoyce in Hope and Say Lord Jesus Receive my Spirit Thou art my Saviour and I have waited for thy Salvation I have sought Thee with my whole Heart I have chosen thy Favour rather than Worldly Grandeur and Prosperity I have prized thy Love and endeavour'd to obey Thee as the best Expression of my own tho with many Imperfections which I bewail I have delighted more in thy Service and Presence than in the Pleasures of Sin and vanity thy Testimonies have been the Joy of my Heart I took no delight in the Company of the ungodly after I was devoted to Thee O let me not have my Portion with them in the other World Fortifie me now against the King of Terrors strengthen me in this my last Conflict enable me to triumph over Death by the Cross of Christ my victorious Redeemer and carry me through the dark valley at the divorce of Soul and Body and grant me an abundant entrance into thine heavenly Kingdom Let me be numbred among thy Chosen and my Body wait in Hope 'till the general Resurrection that I may then see thy Glory and dwell with Thee for ever I gave up my self to Thee and do not Repent my Choice acknowledg me now for Thine and do not lose that which is thy own Lord Jesus Thou hast paid my Ransom to deliver me from Satan and from Eternal Wrath oh do not now reject me and cast me off Is it not thine Office and Covenant to save those that Trust in thee Oh remembr thy Word unto thy Servant wherein thou hast caused me to Hope when I ventur'd my Salvation on thy Promise and trusted to thy Gracious Word for Eternal Life Thy Love hath already overcome the greatest impediments of my Salvation 'T is as easie now to receive me as to Love me Thou hast prepared Glory for thy Redeemed ones and hast bid me believingly to follow thee and wait for thy Salvation Thou hast begotten me to a lively hope by the Incorruptible Seed of the Word Let me not now be depriv'd of the Inheritance Can that Love that pitied me in my Blood and fetcht me from the Gates of Hell now suffer me to fall into it Oh Crown thy Grace and perfect thy Preparatory Mercy with Everlasting Mercy By voluntary Consent and Choice thou art my God and thy Presence in Heaven my ultimate Felicity I have trusted to thy Gracious Promise to prepare me for it and bring me to it O fulfil thy Word unto thy Servant wherein thou hast caused me to hope and mercifully receive my departing Soul that seeks Thee that loves Thee that breathes after Thee and desires nothing but to know Thee better and love Thee more and be more entirely conform'd to thine Image and live always in thy Blessed Presence Thou hast called me out of the World plac'd thine Image upon me enabled me to make it my Business though with many Imperfections to serve and please and honour Thee Oh Receive me to the fulness of thy Love and Grace and present me faultless before the Presence of thy Glory with exceeding Joy. Amen Holy Father be it unto me according to thy Word through the Merits and Intercession of my Alsufficient Saviour Jesus Christ the Faithful and True Witness in whom all thy Promises are Yea and Amen XXX Thanksgiving to God for his Innumerable Benefits and Mercies particularly in the Year Past with some Direction and Advice concerning it HOW precious and delightful are the Thoughts of thy Benefits O Lord how great is the sum of them Should I count them they are more in number than the Stars Shall I not observe and consider them maintain a grateful sense of them and publickly acknowledg them on all occasions that I may Bless the Lord at all Times and his Praise be continually in my mouth More especially should I conclude and begin the Year with solemn Praises to my Great Benefactor and Preserver I ought to begin and close every Day with it thereby to make the outgoings of the Morning and the Evening to rejoice in God. Every Year every Day every Hour every Moment offers me an occasion to praise Him because he is every minute gracious and hath been so ever since he gave me my Being Almost one half of my Time hath been spent in Sleep when I remember not God nor my self yet doth He who never slumbers or sleeps remember me in Mercy and watch over me for good Yea though in the other half by Day I have forgotten him in a worse sense by casting off his Fear and not remembring that his Holy Eye is upon me yet hath he not forgotten to be Gracious Therefore I will praise the name