favour to tremble at thy frown to submit to thy rod to think nothing too dear to part withall to purchase thy grace to promote thy glory Thou O Lord lovest not a cowardly Christian if I prefer any thing to thy love I am most unworthy of it that friendship is too dearly bought which cannot be enjoyed without the loss of thy favour If my brother offend me I will labour to restore him with the spirit of meekness lest whilst I study to rebuke another I become guilty my self No sin shal pass me without some shew of distast without some feeling of my Makers injury and my brothers misery If I be not moved with compassion for anothers sin I shall never be moved with contrition for mine own such comfort as I can willingly afford another I may well hope shall be graciously conferred on my self In my reproof of sin I will observe these holy cautions lest while I endeavour to become serviceable unto thee I prove injurious to my neighbour Private sins shall not have publique reprehensions neither shall publique sins be undecently reproved by me a private person Piety must not confound Charity nor Religion Policy Lord I may easily transgress even in my best intentions how grievously have I then failed in my rebellious actions when I have not feared thee with that sincerity of heart which becometh thy child when I have not loved thee for that beauty for that richness for that goodness which thou art but for those outward blessings which I enjoy from thee when I serve thee for base and by respects such and so unbeseeming my profession so far below that soul which thou hast given me that thou mayst justly now withhold thy blessings from me when I have hitherto sought but my self in thee when my thoughts have been carnall my words hypocriticall my service deceitfull To thy glory Lord and mine own deserved shame I willingly confess that I have not only sinned through the frailty of my nature but I have sinned allso with an high hand sin hath not onely surprised me at unawares but I have obeyed it in the lusts thereof with willingness with greediness with joyfulness I have not onely corrupted mine own wayes before thee by mine own sins but I have allso foolishly contracted others faults by hearing and seeing thee my God dishonored in vain and sinfull discourse in more vain and sinfull excess without shew of dislike without thought of reproof yea Lord I have added unto others sins by mine example while I have feared to reprove that which I have known to be distastfull unto thee while I have seemed to love that which hath been hatefull to mine own soul With those time-pleasing Rulers in the Gospel I have believed in thee but because of the Pharisees because of outward respects I have feared to confess thee and have loved the praise of men more than the praise of God But thou Lord who art infinitely good and ever ready to forgive whose wise and over ruling Providence is only able to produce the greatest good out of the greatest evill Pardon and pass by my many and my weak compliances of sinfuâ—l nature supply my defects accept my desires incourage my endeavours Let thy power be magnified in my weakness thy love in my willfulness thy grace in my sinfulness Suffer me not O Lord to run from thee by a base and servile fear of thy Justice O let me rather run into the bosom of thy love by a filiall fear in sweet and safe assurance of thy mercy Lord make me to see the fearfulness and ugliness of sin by the bright rayes of thy celestiall beauty O let me patiently and joyfully and thankfully endure thy sweet chastisements for it and speedily and constantly withdraw my longings from it Give me an yearning and relenting soul for grieving thy good Spirit give me O Lord that chast and blessed fear belonging onely to thy children that I may not fear thee to tremble at thee but to love thee to honor thee to delight in thee to enjoy thee Lord make me jealous of every deed of every word of every thought that may displease thee and truly penitent for all those sins by which I have so much dishonoured thee Indue me with a loyall heart to love thee truly as I ought strengthen this love with holy confidence and happy perseverance that may for ever hanish this unholy fear that so my joyfull soul may live above the reach of humane misery that I may be capable of no fear but of offending thee and that I may not onely fear thee my self but be jealous allso of thy fear in others Lord let nothing in this life withdraw me from a zealous and a constant love to thy service from a faithfull and devout indeavour to promote thy glory that so I may be ever found truly obedient unto thee my God religiously acquainted with the affairs of this life piously affected to the good of mine own soul Amen CHAP. 22. Upon the great neglect of reckoning daily with our consciences and the benefits lost thereby COnsider O my soul how venomous the nature of sin is if thou canst afford to sleep in small sins thou wilt not stick to welcom greater Sin is of an incroaching nature if thou suffer it to sleep in thy bosom it will expect to dwell there Little sins are harbingers to bigger ones if thou lodgest these those will challenge entertainment Let each evening therefore take a strict accompt of that daies action and where thou findest thy self failing pray heartily for pardon In thine entrance upon this holy course thou wilt surely find three potent oppositions Satan will tell thee that God requireth no such strictness at thy hands the World will tell thee thou hast this or that employment to consider of thine own Corruption will perswade thee that nature will abhor this discontented course that thy spirits will be too much dulled and thy life will prove uncomfortable Alass my soul these are delusions to betray thee to a greater mischief As there are degrees of Sanctification so there are of Pollution no man becometh evill in an instant from hence it is that sometimes the soul can start even at the very thought of that sin which by degrees it can digest without disturbance If holy David had accounted with his conscience after his lustfull looks on Bathsheba doubtless those fearfull sins of his had never been committed O let not any vain pretences deter thee from this task but the blessed benefits allure thee if the entrance be harsh the progress will be safe the continuance sweet the end happy By this enquiry thou shalt see thy sins those great disturbers of thy pâ—ace arraigned convicted condemned and by the mercy of thy Saviour dayly dying in thee Satan repulsed the gifts and graces of Gods holy Spirit strengthened thy mournings comforted thine infirmities susteined thy conscience quitted thy rejoycings exalted the holy Angels delighted and thy heavenly Father well
temptation if the World frown upon them they can chearfully say and faithfully believe that A small thing which the righteous hath is better than great riches of the ungodly Psal 37.16 if it smile that They then account all things but loss and dung in compare of Christ Jesus if outward blessings be present they are humble under them and thankfull for them if absent They can patiently tarry for the Lord for they know he is their help Psal 33.14 and that No good thing will he withhold from them that love him Psal 34.10 if sickness seize upon them The Lord is about their bed and about their path and spieth out all their waies their waies of sin and their waies of sorrow yea He maketh their beds in their sickness by ease to their bodies comfort to their souls if famine threaten them they have God's promise to maintain them For the eye of the Lord is upon them that fear him and upon all those that put their trust in his mercy To deliver their souls from dearth and to feed them in the time of security Psal 33.17 18. if sudden danger approach them they have heavenly succour to defend them for The Angell of the Lord tarrieth about all them that fear him to deliver them yea even Death it self is an advantage to them and therefore no waies able to affright them for Pretious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his Saints and therefore Though the Lord kill them yet will they trust in him Iob 13.15 Lord if thy mercy be thus great unto me while I am yet in my sinfull flesh how unspeakable shall I find thy love when my body is become spirituall my joy eternall From these outward enjoyments may well be derived their inward contentments but by their inward refreshments is enjoyed that incomparable inconceivable unutterable sweetness that blessed peace of God and joy in the holy Ghost which passeth all our understanding God's holy Spirit witnessing with their spirits that they are his children and most pretious in his sight and they are now fully perswaded with his blessed Apostle that Neither Death nor Life nor Angels nor Principalities nor Powers nor things present nor things to come nor height nor depth nor any other Creature shall be ever able to separate them from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord Rom. 8. 37 38. How full of solid comfort is this blessed assurance how are our souls ravished with apprehension of the sweetness of our present comforts of the fulness of our future joyes these blessed earnests of that ever blessed Spirit are the faithfull pledges of his future embraces far above the reach of Malice to disturb or Devill to destroy Hence it is that our faith is pretious our hope lively our joy glorious our lives safe our deaths blessed and from hence arise those many and those rich endowments of the Saints their zeal burning their love wonderfull their desires earnest their longings insatiate their petitions for enjoyings importunate Lord what can I desire more of thee than what I enjoy from thee I have thy mercy without me and thy mercy within me thy mercy in life and thy mercy in death thy mercy from the beginning thy mercy to the end and thy mercy without end I am even crowned and encompassed with mercy O let me now say with holy David I will allwaies give thanks unto the Lord and his praise shall be ever in my mouth Psal 34.1 Let me not onely praise thee my self but with him allso invite others to praise thee O praise the Lord with me all ye his Saints and let us magnifie his name together Psal 34.3 O tast and see how gratious the Lord is blessed is that man which putteth his trust in him Be glad O yee righteous and rejoyce in the Lord and be joyfull all yee that are true of heart Psal 32.12 And now Lord having had a tast of the sweetness of thy Saints happiness on earth I willingly forsake all to follow them I have too long been straying in the strange pastures of impiety and am now joyfully desirous to be led home to thy fold that I may feed in the green and fresh pastures of thy sacred precepts and drink freely of those waters of comfort in thy blessed promises that I may so drinle that I may never thirst but be fully satisfied with thy grace in this life with thy glory in that to come O let this evill world neither allure me to its vanities nor betray me from thy mercies but as thou hast overcome the world for me so by thy grace assisting it may be allso overcome by me Thou hast indeed told me that I shall mourn in it but my mourning shall be turned into joy and that my joy shall no man take from me Lord I believe help my unbeliefe I embrace thy cross I despise the shame for that glory which is set before me of which I have a safe assurance by the blessed earnest of thy holy Spirit in me To thee O Father Son and holy Spirit one eternall infinite incomprehensible and ever blessed Goodness be all possible praise honour and glory now and for ever Amen O thou great God who hast tender bowels of compassions and multitudes of mercies for us miserable sinners who art not easy to be provoked but ever ready to forgive who sufferest not thy whole displeasure to arise against us but even in thy very judgements remembrest mercy and art then moved with the sight of our misery have mercy upon me a great and grievous finner Lord I have sinned I have transgressed I have done foolishly in departing from thy judgements But righteousness belongeth unto thee O Lord and unto me shame and confusion of face O let thy bowels of compassions remove out thy sight my multitudes of transgressions that I may now appear before thee with a joyfull heart and happy soul Let thy words be sweeter to me than the hony and the hony comb than the vain pleasures and false profits of this life O let my chiefest joy be in thy service my greatest delight to walk in thy waies and all false waies of pollution and uncleanness let me utterly abhorr Give me that inward peace that quietness of conscience which the world cannot take from me that when I am afflicted by it I may not be condemned with it Lord let me faithfully believe and gratiously improve the constancy of thy love in the worlds great unconstancy the richness of thy mercy in this wretched ages misery O that my eye might drop without ceasing that my heart might break forth into complaints and my soul be melted into sorrows for mine own and others sins that have occasioned these heavy judgements these sad complainings of thy people Lord as I have been a great and grievous sinner amongst them so let me be a constant and a true mourner for them as thou hast beheld us sinning so now allso behold us sorrowing
that as our sins have provoked thee to anger so our tears may move thee to compassion that thy mercy may be magnified our miseries relieved our sorrows comforted O let not these bitter aggravations of thy judgements extort from us the least measure of impatience nor beget in us the least degree of distrust let us neither complain of thy justice nor despair of thy mercy but quietly and thankfully rely upon thee and in thy blessed hour enjoy a sweet inlargement by thee Lord pity the forlorn condition of thy sons and daughters in affliction repair their outward losses by thine inward graces that what is wanting to them of these earthly comforts may be abundantly supplied in thy heavenly joyes Forgive the great disturbers of the peace of this thy Sion Lord open their eyes that they may see how much they have erred from thy waies Lord sanctifie their hearts that they may speedily return unto thee and be for ever gratiously accepted of thee O that thou wouldst give us one heart and one voyce that we might serve thee without ceasing that we may be all truly humbled before thee and truly joyfull in thee Restore me for thy rich mercy sake unto that blessed union of Love which is the bond of Peace that as thou our God art one so thy distressed Church may be one thy divided people one their wishes and desires their prayers and tears their actions and endeavours one for thy glory the Churches safety and the Nations happiness That we may have peace with thee our God peace with our enemies peace with our own souls and everlasting peace with thee in thy Kingdome Amen A comfortable PRAYER to bee used at the point of death by the Visitors of the Sick O Eternall Almighty most mercifull and for ever blessed Lord God of Heaven and Earth wee thy poor and most unworthy creatures miserable and distressed sinners in all humility of heart and dejectedness of spirit are here prostrate before thee Lord we confesse that we are utterly unworthy to approach thy glorious presence Blessed God we are confounded and ashamed to lift up our sinfull eyes unto thee whose gracious goodnesse we have so much neglected whose patience and long-suffering so long abused whose anger and indignation so justly provoked whose wrath and fury so wretchedly deserved Lord we are heavy laden with the burden of our sinnes and thou alone art able to relieve us to thee therefore we addresse our sinfull souls for mercy and forgivenesse O thou that art the blessed Shepheard of our erring soules that camest into the World to seek and to save those that are lost have mercy upon us O thou that hast espoused us unto thy self and hast given us thy love have mercy upon us O thou that callest us to come unto thee and embracest us when we are come receive our prayers Lord give us prepared hearts to meet thee in this holy duty Quicken our benummed soules with holy fervencie that our devotions may ascend unto thy gracious presence Lord thou hast promised to be near unto all those which call upon thee with sincerity and faithfulnesse of heart for thy blessed promise sake we most humbly beseech thee let our humiliations be comfortable our prayers acceptable In full assurance of the sweetnesse of thy mercy towards us wee are now bold to become Petitioners unto thee for this thy sick servant whose life is drawing near unto the grave Blessâ—d Lord God it is thou that killest and makest alive that bringest down to hell and raisest up again we most meekly beseech thee therefore for thy rich and tender love sake to thine Elect to mitigate that bitter curse which thou hast layd upon us all in Adam Lord look upon his affliction and his travail and forgive him all his sinnes give him sure patience to endure with meekness whatsoever thou art pleased to inflict upon him Lord lay no more upon his feeble body than thou shalt make him able for to bear impose no more upon his wounded spirit than thou in mercy shalt support him under Forsake him not O Lord our God be not thou far from him let him remember that this chastisement of thine is common to thy dearest children that thou hidest thy face from him but for a small moment but with everlasting kindnesse thou wilt have mercy on him Lord settle and compose his thoughts for thy Kingdom let no disturbance of this life distract those blessed meditations which invite the weary soul to rest and quietnesse let him now see and joyfully beleeve that thou wilt order all these outward things to thine own glory and the good of those that have relation to him let him freely forgive all injuries on earth and heartily desire to meet his greatest enemies in heaven O let his soul be now transported with the sweetnesse of thy love and favour towards him Lord qualifie this bitter potion which thy holy providence hath alotted to him let him now remember that the sufferings of this present life are not worthy of that glory which shall be suddainly revealed in him and when the outward man is drawing nearest to its dissolution Lord Jesus strengthen and rejoyce the inward man with comfort and assured confidence of thy salvation To this end O Lord we most humbly beseech thee to illuminate his understanding that he may see the sadnesse of his own condition in himself that â—he may deny and utterly abhor himself that he may disclame all sinfull confidence in his own actions and endeavours and wholly cast himself upon the righteousnesse of him in whom alone thy wrath is fully satisfied Lord give him a serious and a true remorse of conscience for his many and his great offences Lord Jesus grant that they may not now appear unto the terror and amazement of his sinfull soul O let him now remember that it is thy precious blood which purgeth him from all iniquitie that thou O blessed Saviour art become unto him righteousnesse and holinesse and sanctification and redemption Lord comfort and assist him in this last and greatest tryall of his faith And because the sensible decay of his infirm body and the violent disturbance of his sicknesse will not suffer him to call upon thee with digestednesse of mind and quietnesse of spirit we therefore humbly pray thee to sustein and comfort him even in his greatest weaknesse and extremity Blessed God let the sorrowfull sighing of thy sick prisoner now come before thee O let thy blessed Spirit which is in him put up humble supplications to the Father for him O satisfie him with thy mercy and that soon Let those happy sighs and groans which cannot be expressed become a pleasing sacrifise of thankfulnesse to thee and a sweet savour of eternall rest to his departing soul O thou that art the God of power protect him from the fury of that roaring Lion who is now seeking to devour him O thou that art the blessed Saviour of the sinfull world compassionate his
resolutions to adhere unto thee that as thou art truly and eternally one in thine Essence and yet distinctly three in thy Persons so I may be truly and entirely one in my obedience although distinctly three in my faculties that all may be but one and that a pleasing sacrifice of praises unto thee of profit unto others of comfort to my self Forgive my misconceivings of thy sacred Essence my rash approaches to thy heavenly presence my cold careless irreligious thoughts distracted words undesent actions Lord I am sailing on the stormy sea of ignorance and misery O be thou my sure Pilot to direct me my sweet calm to refresh me my safe harbour to receive me for of thee and through thee and to thee are all things to thee be glory for ever Amen CHAP. 2. Upon the consideration of Gods Love and mans Unthankfulness A Meditation suited to the Morning Blessed God WHen I consider of the richness of the largeness of the constancy of thy love to man of mans vileness and untowardness unto thee his God I stand amazed at thy goodness and mine own unthankfulness How great and invaluable a blessinge do I enjoy in being made partaker of the glorious light of this present day how vile and unworthy am I that receive it how great and glorious art thou that givest it Thou O Lord art light inaccessible unto which no mortall eye can approach before whose glorious Majesty the blessed Angels stand amazed and I am dust and ashes yea worse Lord for dust was thy creation and therefore in its entity was good before I was dust I was not at all This not being by thee became a being this being beautifull this beauty immortall and without thee this happy being is again become far worse than not to be What can be more vain more empty than nothing ah wo is me I am now become far worse than nothing thou madst me all goodness and that goodness might have made me all blessedness but I have made my self all sin and this sin hath made me all misery there was darkness in not being but that darkness was incapable there is greater darkness in being ill for this darkness is most capable of the privation of all light of comfort in this life of the fruition of the blackness of darkness in hell for ever This Lord was my condition in nature and without thy gracious help must have been so for ever Let me now see what my condition is by Grace by which I enjoy not only the light of nature without which my life would prove uncomfortable but allso a sweet and safe assurance that thou wilt by this happy light conduct me safely to the blessed light of Glory Blessed Lord I can now look no way but to happiness I now find a true sweetness and composedness of soul a constant and courageous setledness of heart even in the very heighth of all the disturbances of Nature of all the inundations of Sin of all the fluctuations of Sorrow of all the Machinations of Satan from the sweet fountain of thy mercy arise those pretious streames of Consolation which aboundantly relieve mee in this barren wilderness I find indeed a law in my members continually rebelling against the law of my mind but I find also thy grace to bee sufficient for mee by which I am victorious here and shall be triumphant hereafter Satan may strive to winnow mee like wheat but this shall make mee the purer for thy Granary I now find a totall and a blessed change of the whole man mine affections which formerly were captivated unto sin intirely devoted to thy service my love with holy David wonderfull to thy law my hatred perfect against sin my desire eager for thy presence my fear astonishing in thine absence my delight in thy promises ravishing my joy in thy performances triumphing By these rich indowments of thine I am wrapt up above the reach of humane misery all vain and empty desires of the besotting pleasures of this life appear truly as they are but thornes and bryars to disturb the growth of my felicity how sweet is their loss for thy gain how easily how willingly how joyfully how thankfully are all these foggy mists of ignorance and error happily disperst by the bright rayes of my ensuing glory Beside these fawning enemies of Peace which flatter to unquietness I am now able to incounter with those other which affright the soul even in their first appearance and are able to deject the carnall man even to astonishment and utterly to expose him to the tyranny of sin and torture of punishment such Lord is the vast difference between the blessed ones of thy fold and those unhappy ones which stray from thee into the strange pastures of impiety No sorrow can surprize mee but for sin and even this too thou makest to increase my joy what affliction can be evil which is thy physick who art the fountain of all good if it be grievous in the tast it is joyous in the effects If I mark the happy close I must with joy confess that these bitter storms wil end in blessed calms will bring to my remembrance those grievous sinns that brought my Saviour to those bitter groanes will force mee from the sorrowes of this life to my Celestiall harbour will bring mee on my knees to see mine own vildness will inrich mee with the graces of humilitie and patience and together with them the sweet injoyments of thy blessed Spirit and if so how can I complain of want when in stead of earth I enjoy heaven Lord what can he fear that is assured of thy favour afflictions tribulations crosses sinns Satan Death hell it self shall work to mine advantage as my cross is more grievous my crown shall be more glorious where sin and Satan have been most prevailing there Grace and Goodness shall be more triumphing How truly sweet Lord is the inviolable peace of thy saints who powerfully compellest even the very rage of earth and hell to work to their advantage Lord sanctifie the trialls of this life unto my sinfull soul that by my patient sufferings with my Saviour here I may have peace with him and by him hereafter I have hitherto looked on mine inward happiness if I now cast mine eyes upon mine outward I shall there see that all these outward blessings allso are most peculiarly belonging to the Saints the wicked ones of the world are robbers and shall one day give an account of their theft children friends strangers even our very enemies are protected preserved inriched blessed for our sakes so was Joseph and his brethren for Jacob Zoar for Lot Potipher for Joseph the Centurion and souldiers for St Paul And if thou Lord wilt look so lovingly upon the children of this world for thine elect sake how gratiously wilt thou one day look upon those sonnes that shall be made partakers of thine own inheritance Who would not now bee holy seeing that in this blessed condition there is
deformed and contemptible that mine own knowledge cometh far short of mine own misery O how justly mightst thou for ever leave me to my self to eat the fruit of mine own wayes and to be filled with the falshood of mine own devices to possess sorrow and inherit shame But thou O Lord who art infinite in goodness hast manifested to my sinfull soul that when I wretchedly forsake thee thou readily forsakest all to follow me when I run from thee thou bewailest me when misery compels me to return thou joyfully receivest me thou lovingly relievest me thou then graciously acceptest of me And now O Lord when I have even wearied out thy mercy and compassion towards me thou still invitest me to come unto thee To thee therefore O thou blessed Shepheard of my soul do I devote these penitent expressions O let those tributary tears which are due to thy sufferings be now plentifully poured forth for mine own sins Lord pardon my contempt of grace and graciously enable me to entertain these happy visits of thy holy Spirit and patiently to bear these sweet chastisements of thy heavenly hand that I may have fellowship with Christ and peace with God If thou Lord for the sins of my prosperity shalt think it fit to bring upon me the miseries of adversity for the great neglect of thy gracious visits to deny mee the sweet comforts of thy blessed answers yet give me patience and sure confidence to trust stil in thy mercie that so while I am most justly debarred of my longing desires I may not be utterly deprived of thy loving favours Lord cast me not away from thy presence O leave me not unto my self lest I perish everlastingly make me to see the richness of thy love and favour towards me Quicken the motions of thy blessed Spirit in me renew my good thoughts and six them wholly upon heaven and heavenly things Lord Jesus make me joyful in them and for ever truly thankful for them Make me willing to enjoy thee and ready to abandon all things for thee Lord I now seek thee but I cannot find thee I call upon thee but thou answerest me not O kiss me with the kisses of thy mouth for thy love is better than wine Lord let thy left hand support me and thy right hand imbrace me let me be outwardly and inwardly sustained by thee my weaknss by thy power my rebellion by thine obedience my folly by thy wisdom my pollution by thy sanctification my faith by thy fruition that I may be grieved for thine absence delighted in thy presence inamored with thy beanty inriched with thy bounty inflamed with thy love adorned with thy graces comforted with thy consolation incompast with thy glory Amen CHAP. 15. Upon the consideration of Gods peculiar Providence to his Children Lord NOthing can befall me in this life without thy wife and over-ruling providence not so much as one hair of me can fail without thy allowance for even my very hairs are numbred as a Sparrow cannot fall to the ground so neither a hair from mine head without thy sacred leave And if thy blessed Providence protecteth these inferior creatures if it extend it self even unto excrements how much more safely doest thou guard the bodies how much more tenderly the soules of thine Elect Yet such is my stupidity by nature that I seldom look beyond the seond causes I usually content my self with casuals and contingencies and often judge that meerly accidentall which sweetly moves by thy commands to thine appointment and thy childrens good Thy Providence is eternall thy provision in time thou O Lord art infinitely wise and caust therefore provide infinitely well the end thou ordainest to thy self the means to thy creature good and bad are under thy protection the good for themselves the bad for others both for thy glory the one thou willest to be happy the other thou permittest to be miserable neither of them can avoyd their necessity of fate and yet thou neither inclinest the one nor inforcest the other because unto both in their originall thou gavest perfect freedome of will to chuse the good to leave the bad to inherit life or purchase death Blessed God we are all debtors in our first Parents thou mayst therefore most justly require that of us which was lent us in them They were able to pay but not willing we their wofull posterity as we are in nature are neither able nor willing But by thy grace Lord we are onely willing and not able and thou hast therefore sent thine onely Son who was both freely willing and fully able to appease thy Justice to reconcile thy Mercy to comfort us here to crown us hereafter And now Lord having given us thy Son how shalt thou not together with him allso give us all things and yet I often see thee giving of good things to the bad and bad to the good there is nothing more fiequent in this life than the afflictions of thy children nothing more common than the prosperity of the wicked they receive their good things in this life I shall enjoy mine in that to come when I shall be comforted and they tormented Thou O Lord art righteous in all they waies and holy in all thy works thou loadest them with thine outward blessings for their outward obedience thou deniest me these outward favours for mine inward advantage by the one they are left inexcusable by the other I am made more conformable my patience exercised my faith tried my love examined my humility proved all these are speciall tokens of thy mercy towards me for as grace increaseth here so shall glory hereafter Lord what can he fear that is assured of thy favour that knoweth assuredly that all these outward things shall work together for the best to his advantage If Joseph be thrown into the Pit it is to send him into Egypt if into Prison to preser him to Pharoah that so Corn may be sent into Canaan if Satan be sent to tempt Job with afflictions it is because Job shall overcome Satan by patience if holy David become a sad spectacle of humane frailty by sinning it is to make him a pattern of true piety in repenting if the bodies of the Saints be grievously martyr'd in this life it is to array them with glorious robes in that to come Lord let this teach me joyfully to entertain the saddest of events which either thy wisdome mans unrighteousness or Satans cruelty can bring upon me to be patient under them and thankfull for them to ransake my soul and search diligently there for what sin thou sendest this sorrow to bewail it abhor it forsake it and earnestly implore thy pardon for it When I am thus happily resolved I shall then have that undaunted boldnesse to say with holy Job Allthough thou killest me yet will I trust in thee with holy David Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death yet will I fear none evill for thou Lord art with me
of afflictions which either sin or Satan life or death can bring upon me scourge me launce me bruise me break me doe what thou wilt with me here so thou spare me for ever Lord allthough thou killest me yet will I trust in thee for I know assuredly that all these outward things shall work together for the best for me and that my present sufferings thou hast sent in mercy to me to humble me for sin to preserve me from shame I kisse them I embrace them and am sincerely thankfull for them Lord let me clearly see for what sin thou hast inflicted this punishment that I may bewail it abhor it forsake it implore thy pardon for it when I am thus armed I shall be able to encounter thy fiercest affliction if I am found naked the weakest will foyl me To thee O Lord whose wise and over-ruling hand disposeth all occurrences of life and sweetly guides them to the good of thy children doe I addresse my sinfull soul for mercy and protection Lord open mine eyes that I may see and believe the constancy of thy love in the mutability of mine outward condition Give me a patient and a willing heart to welcome all the changes of this present life to be humble under them to rejoyce in them and be thankfull for them Forgive the pride of heart and prodigality of hand attending on my prosperous estate my great repinings and ungodly passions incident to my declining happinesse and increasing misery As thou hast weaned me from the pleasures of this life by the rod of thine afflictions so wean me allso from the sins of this life by the staff of thy consolations that so my heart may be wholly taken off from all earthly enjoyments that I may become even as a weaned child to forgoe willingly what thou deniest me to receive quietly what thou providest for me What I want of these outward blessings supply â—nto me by thine inward comforts which are inâ—finitely better for me and shall be therefore â—ver dearer to me Lord furnish me with graces suitable to all events and able to encourage me in all afflictions Lord sanctifie this present sorrow to my sinfull soul so sweeten it by thy grace that it may bring forth in me the quiet and the happy fruits of righteousnesse Make it a sure pledge of thy fatherly affections towards me let it daily and hourely draw me nearer to thy presence let it wean me from the miseries of sin and at last bring me to the sweet fruition of eternitie Amen CHAP. 24. Upon Unchearfulness in Christianity with incouragements to avoyd it AH Lord from whence is my uncheerfulness my dulness in my Christian calling how much below that glorious hope which thou hast given me When I consider of the richness of thy love in Christ I find thee to be all in all unto me and may well wonder at mine own unthankfulness and ignorance that is stll doting on this worlds nothing and uncertainty Thou O Lord art truly and eternally good and therefore able to derive eternity of happiness Before I was created I was thine and when I was not mine own thou becamest mine thou O my Saviour who hast given me thy sâ—lf canst deny me nothing What is too good too great too glorious for that soâ—â— which thou hast redeemed at so dear a rate â—s the price of thine own blood and espoused to thine own bosom Thy creatures are at peace with me thy holy Angels attend me guard me fight for me rejoyce at my conversion thy Saints triumphant pray for me the Devils fly from me and thou O Lord by thine all-mighty power and gracious providence art ever with me thou carest for me from the cradle to the tomb Thou art about my bed and about my paths and spyest out all my waies Yea Thy mercy embraceth me on every side when I sleep I am safe when I awake joyfull in prosperity I have thy rod to afflict me in adversity thy staffe to comfort me Lord while I am in thy favour I can look no way but to happiness if I walk not answerable to it I may well fear to be deprived of it And doubtless O my soul those eyes which look so graciously upon thee in this life will behold thee with a more earnest with a more endeared love in that to come these transitory glances are but the faithfull pledges of those future embraces Those arms of mercy which now support thee in thine often failings shall then encompass thee with glory those blessed hands which now chastise thee for thy rebellions will then wipe away all tears from thine eyes and that relenting heart which sometimes is most unwillingly withdrawn from thee for thy Apostasie will then unite it self to thine for ever Lord who can be a Christian and be sad who can believe all this and not triumph in joyfull exaltation and not insult over the sorrows of this life and not contemn the joyes of this bewitching world and not resist these cloudy discontented thoughts these close assaults of Satans never-resting malice Millions of Worlds Miriads of Angels cannot restore that cursed spirit to this happiness which thou now enjoyest and yet so slightly regardest O let this teach thee to abhor his foul temptations to consider of thy worth in Christ and to raise thy self above the reach of earthly misery to love thy God faithfully to serve him cheerfully to persevere joyfully to be patient in tribulation to rejoyce in hope to pray continually to thirst after the sweetness of his grace and earnestly to long for the consummation of his glory Blessed God How unworthy am I to be called thy servant who have so long been subject to the worlds commands how undeserving of the glorious liberty of thy Sons who have so willingly been fetter'd by mine own corruptions how uncapable of thy heavenly comforts that can rejoyce in nothing but these earthly vanities Lord open mine eyes that I may see the richness of the price of my high calling in Christ Jesus and endeavour to walk worthy of it that I may earnestly desire thee joyfully embrace thee and constantly and cheerfully devote my service to thee Forgive my drowsiness my dulness my backwardness to holy duties awake my sinfull soul from sensuallity and raise it to the blessed thoughts of sweet eternity Compassionate my weakness accept my willingness forgive my sinfulness quicken my dulness correct my untowardness Lord bring me to such a blessed frame of heart that I may willingly forgo the sins and miseries of this life and frequently delight my self with contemplation of thy joyes in that to câ—me CHAP. 25. Upon Mans sinfull frailtie in the hour of Temptation with motives to make resistance I Am now in the lists with Satan and this hour to fight the Lords battail God seeth me and his holy Angels see me I have long professed my self to be Christs souldier and he hath now brought me to the field to prove me now is
therefore for if thy faith be weak yet it is living if it be languishing it will assuredly recover more strength if there be blossomes now there will be fruit hereafter these happy beginnings will have gratious proceedings blessed câ—dings Consider what thy God hath promised by his holy Prophet I will not break the bruised reed nor quench the smoking flax Isay 42.3 Let not the smarting therefore of thy conscience trouble thee remember who it is that searcheth it I have wounded thee saith God and I will heal thee I have broken thee and I will bind thee up Thou art therefore wounded that thou mayst be healed thou art therefore broken that thou mayst be bound up That sore which is insensible is ever most dangerous and that wound which smarteth most is most capable of remedy Blessed Lord I now feel to mine unspeakable comfort that thou hast wounded me with the terrours of thy Law that thou mayst heal me with the comforts of thy Gospell that I am therefore bruised with the burden of my sins that I may be ever eased by the merits of my Saviours sufferings all my imperfections are his all his righteousness is mine I may boldly chalenge it thou wilt not deny it I may safely plead it thou canst not refuse it Consider yet further O my Soul what thy blessed Saviour saith unto thee I am the resurrection and the life he that believeth in me though he were dead yet shall be live and whosever liveth and believeth in me shall never dye Ioh. 11.25 26. How canst thou doubt now O my Soul when thy Saviour biddeth thee believe and live what canst thou fear when thou hast his promise for thy safety Heaven and Earth shall pass away but not one tittle of his Word shall fail Let not the number of thy sins affright thee for it is his bloud which clenseth us from all iniquity 1 Ioh. 1.7 9. Let not the nature of thy sins amaze thee for though they were red as scarlet yet he will make them white as snow Let not the long continuance of them stagger thee for At what time soever a sinner doth repent him of his sins from the bottome of his heart I will blot them out of my remembrance saith the Lord Ezech. 18. Thy Coâ—â—cience shall not trouble thee for Being justified by faith we have peace with God Rom. 5.1 The Devill cannot hurt thee for Who shall lay any thing to the charge of Gods elect it is God that justifieth who is he that condemneth it is Christ that died yea rather that is risen again who is even at the right hand of God who allso maketh intercession for us Rom. 8.32 33. Nay which is the sum of all God himself in Iustice cannot condemn thee for There is no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh but after the spirit Rom. 8.1 his lustice is satisfied his Mercy magnified his Name be for ever glorified Lord let this teach me to rely with comfort on thy blessed promises and to walk worchy of them in my religious performances to manifest my increase of grace by my increase of goodness to fix my heart wholly upon thee to love thee to fear thee to honour thee and assuredly to rest in thee when thy grace shall enable me to delight in thy fear my sins can never perswade me to despair of thy favour my peace will be then inviolable my joy unutterable my happiness unalterable Blessed Lord God When I consider of the wretchedness of mine own corruptions in nature I am even ready to despair of thy love But when I look upon the blessedness of my condition in Christ I am then encouraged to sue to thee for mercy and forgiveness Allthough thy justice be severe against ane as I am a grievous sinner yet thy mercy is most sweet unto me in my Saviour I now tremble at thy judgements yet I rejoyce in thy promises allthough thy Law speak never so terribly thy curses be never so many thy plagues be never so grievous thy wrath never so tempestuous yet in the sweet mercy of my Saviour I am able to abide them all O Lord my God I abhor my self I accuse my self I condemn my self I am now ready with thy wrath to seize upon my sinfull soul and cast it down to everlasting misery Lord unto thee onely I appeal for mercy and forgiveness sweet Jesus accept of me and interpose thy blessed merits for me inrich my soul with thy sufferings be ever present with me and eternall comfort to me O holy and for ever blesssed Spirit thou that sanclifiest the souls of thine Elect assist and strengthen me quicken and revive my drooping saith increase my hope cherish my love foment those dying sparks by the sweet breathings of thy blessed Spirit that they may zealously break forth into a pure and fervent flame of holy affections to thy great glory and mine own eternall happiness Amen CHAP. 30. Upon the great Neglect of the duty of Prayer Lord WHen I serionsly consider how manifold and great my failings are when I think of the shortness and uncertainty of life of the solemnity of death of the eternity of happiness or misery after death and by all these of the necessity usefulness and excellency of Prayer I may well wonder that I am ever from my knees My life is all sin and had therefore need to be all sorrow the greatness and continuance of my sins have added to the greatness and continuance of my misery and there is none but thou O Lord that can relieve me there is no coming to thee but by Prayer and no Prayer powerfull with thee but that which is fervent This is â—hat eye of my affection that woundeth the heart of thy compassion this is that holy violence that taketh Heaven by force that surpriseth thy Mercy that manicles thy Justice that wrestles with thy Love and will not let thee goe without a blessing This is my strong armour to defend me my daily food to sustein me my safe repose to refresh me my sweet content for ever to delight me Blessed Lord how wonderfull is thy desire to man how graciously doest thou provide for him how daily art thou mindfull of him Thy words instruct me thy promises allure me thy graces sustein me thy sacraments strengthen me thy visits comfort me thy embraces ravish me And as if all this were not yet enough to manifest thy favour towards me so unspeakable is thy love so earnest thy desires unto me that thou hast even given me thy self to be overcome by me Lord thou art all love when I strive with thee for mercy I overcome thee by thy self how great is thy goodness how tender are thy mercies unto man for whose sake thou contendest even with thine own Essence Thou hast given thy Son to die for me and in him thy self to be overcome by me Lord let this teach me to renew my acquaintance often with thee to
with this subject thou hast just cause to suspect thy loving to fear thy enjoying it for Where thy treasure is there will thy heart be also If thou livest the life of Pleasure thou art so much worse than a beast by how much thou oughtest by reason to be better if of Action thou art so much nearer to happiness as reason is beyond sense and yet so much farther off as Grace is beyond Nature if the happy life of heavenly Meditation thou art so far above vanity as heaven is above earth as immotality above nature as glory above corruption O how sweet are those thoughts which lead me to Eternity which raise my soul above the reach of humane misery that can support me under all the heavy pressures of sin under all the grievous burdens of sorrow under all the sharp assaults of Satan that 〈◊〉 make me merry in life and triumphant in death Nothing can more truly represent me to my self and inform me that I am all earthly than the dullness and backwardness of my thoughts to be heavenly Who can ever hope to be an inhabitant of that City whose language hee cannot speak Lord when my thoughts are more zealously affected with thy heavenly joys I shall then hope to be more frequently acquainted with thy heavenly visits by my careless neglect of the one I am now justly deprived of the sweet enjoyments of the other while I am wedded to this wretched world my thoughts must needs favour of corruption But if thou Lord wilt once open mine eyes to see the glorious beauty of my heavenly home I shall then know and joyfully confesse that one hour thus spent will adde more comfort to my fool more true content to my desires than all these outward blessings and I shall then account and joyfully confess with thy Apostle that all things are but loss and dung in compare of the richness of thy love in Christ Jesus For thou O blessed Saviour art the blessed Fountain of eternall happiness the joy of my heart the triumph of my joy the comfort of my life the safety of my body the rest of my soul without thee I am far worse than nothing and with thee I enjoy all things for thou art in the Father and I in thee and thou in me and in this happy union is contained that fruition is enjoyed that for ever-blessed vision in which the souls and bodies of thy Saints eternally delight themselves O thou soveraign of my soules eternall comfort how unworthy am I to enjoy thee that have been hitherto so much unâ—indfull of thee how undeserving to behold thee in thy glory that am so daily guilty of thy great dishonour Lord raise my thoughts to immortality and fix my soul upon the love of sweet eternity let my chiefest joy be ever to contemplate thee who art my chiefest good Pardon those wretched hours that have been lost in search of outward happiness O make me to redeem them by abandoning the creature and placing mine affections wholly on the beauty of the great Creatour expatiate my sinfull soul with daily meditations of my future joyes that I may love thee more fervently fear thee more dutifully desire thee more earnestly long for thee more heartily embrace thee more faithfully and think of thee more joyfully to my lives end Amen CHAP. 33. Upon unchristianlike Dejectedness in Poverty WHY doe I excruciate my soul with apprehension of a seeming evill how unworthy am I of this life which I hold from that God whom I dare not trust will God feed me with the delicates of heaven and not give me bread will he give me full draughts of the rivers of his eternall pleasures and not afford me temporall refreshments shall my death be precious in his eyes and my life uncomfortable in mine own can there be any evill and the Lord hath not done it shall he doe it and shall I complain if poverty be evill in it self yet it is good for me the evill of sin hath drawn upon me this evill of punishment so this evill is from nature and the good from grace By this affliction I am weaned from the world and made desirous of my heavenly home I am now put in mind that my treasure being there my heart should be there allso I am now fully assured by my patience and humility under this affliction and by the quiet fruits of righteousness it daily bringeth forth in me that I am Gods child that as I am now made partaker of my Saviours sufferings so I shall be hereafter of his glory that I part with earthly contentments to enjoy heavenly comforts Lord when thou lendest me thy staff of consolation I shall be well able to endure thy rod of affliction all though my body be worse I shall then find my soul to be much better my present condition happy my future blessed In what estate soever I am I will think that best because thou Lord hast put me there if my calling be low my account will be the less if I discharge this faithfully I shall not lose my reward Thou O Lord lookest not upon my greatness but my goodness my faithfulness in thy service A pin in thy materiall Temple was as usefull as a stone if I be any thing in thy spirituall it is enough yet let me not content my self with easiness and indifferency in heavenly blessings but labour to supply mine outward wants by inward graces so shall this earthly bitterness be turned into spirituall sweetness and eternall blessedness Thou O Lord hast alotted me my portion in this life most agreeable to thy Divine Wisdome most suitable to my frail condition and why take I then thought for to morrow sufficient unto the day is the evill thereof Thou allowest me lawfull means for increasing of it thou forbiddest me repining thoughts to distrust thee in it Lord let me first seek thy Kingdome and the righteousness thereof and then I know assuredly that all things needfull for me shall be added to me O thou blessed Saviour of the world who for my sake wert willing to endure the scornfull poverty of this life to purchase my redemption teach me by thine example and for thy sake to undervalue all the glorious pomps of these enticing vanities that though my body be despised by the world my sinfull soul may be accepted with thee and both soul and body may eternally be happy where thou art Lord by how much by thy great sufferings thou wert made the vilder for me by so much by thy rich mercy let thy love be ever dearer to me O give me graces suitable to all events let not prosperity puff me up nor adversity too much deject me but for thy mercy sake let happiness in Christ be all in all unto me make me humble in the one patient in the other thankfull in either bappy in both Grant Lord that no ungodly care or sinfull sorrow may disturb me but that I may with willingness and thankfulness and
folly in our hands sinne in our mindes and shame in our actions That prayer is very rare that is not fick of some distemper that charity very pure that can admit of no mistakes and that performance very perfect that is not soyled with some filth of wickedness How willing are our thoughts to wander in our prayers how cold and careless are we in them and how remils in the performance of them where is that constancy that fervency that holy importunity of spirit that is required of us in this holy exercise which of us can truly say that throughout the whole course of his whole life hitherto he ever put up one prayer unto Almighty God that was not cumbred with distracted thoughts that needed not a present pardon I tremble at mine own and grieve at others failings O let my severest censures of my brothers sins be assured signs of my best love How far are we even the very best of us from that purity and perfection of soul which becometh this holy duty and yet how ready are we even the very worst of us to beleeve our selves sufficiently holy assuredly happy We content our selves usually with the very shels and husks and outsides of Religion with shews and shadows of devotion with customary cold prayers intermitted undigested readings careless inconsiderate meditations hypocritall pharisaical fastings popular Alms-deeds having onely the shew of godliness but denying the power thereof All these and whatsoever else are like to these are odious to God abhominable to good men and most destructive to their souls that are deluded by them When by the sweet assistance of the heavenly goodness and gentle breathings of his blessed Spirit we are drawing nearer to our haven when the aguish distempers of the soul are abated and her native and radicall heat is grown strong and vigorous when the fervencie of our zeal is a rich evidence of the liveliness of our faith of the certainty of our hope of the perfection of our charity when our affections are inflamed with Gods love and our actions aim onely at his glory when we are grown up to that happy state of grace that our consciences are pure our resolutions godly our conversations unblamable allthough wee dare not then propose these base and by respects these outward aims unto out selves yet how cunningly and closely will corruptions Real in upon us even in these very blessed acts of grace This is too truly proved too sadly experienced even by the very best of Christians Lord in thy rich mercie give us eyes to discern it hearts to avoyd it How often may we find pride in our humility lust in our desires of chastity our own private ends in our proposals of Gods publique interest when we bear a part amongst the mourners of Syon when we are cast down for some humane frailty wee presently conceive highly of our own holiness and very meanly of others in their relations unto happiness while we have sought to become better by the proposall of some strict rules to preserve chastity have we not many times become worse by poysoning those very defires by unclean thoughts and uncleaner actions How many while they have sincerely aimed at Gods glory by the holy proposall and happy performance of some reall good for the benefit of his children have been secretly surprised with the by-end of their own deserved praise Lord how readily have I now met with mine own sins to thy great glory and mine own deserved slame I willingly confess that I am guilty of all this and infinitely more than this even these very lines are witnesses against me of my secret corruptions O let this my sorrowfull confession purchase for me thy free and full remission that thou mayst have the glory I the comfort of these weak endeavours And now Lord seeing I am thus impure and sinfull in mine own eyes even in the very best of my performances how loathsome must I needs appear in thy sight who art Purity it self and canst not behold iniquity Blessed Lord as thou hast given me the light of thy Word to discover me unto my self so give me allso the sword of thy Spirit to deliver me from my self Deliver me O Lord from the evill man from mine ownsecret corruptions and unknown abominations Allthough I am unto mine own soul both ruine and destruction yet let my blessed Saviour be unto me safety and salvation Search my heart O Lord and try my reins O let no base and by-respects inhabit there to rob thee of thine honour no false and vain respects to cheat me of my present holiness and future bappiness Pardon and pass by the secret and unknown errours of my sinfull life suppress the great disturbances turbances of my corrupt affections allthough they many times prevail against me yet let thy saving grace Lord be sufficient for me Lord make me purely and entirely holy let me love holiness neither for fear of thy punishments nor for hope of thy rewards but for thy sake onely O my God who art holiness it self Let me never think my self holy enough but forget all those holy actions which are past and press hard forward towards the mark for the rich price of the high calling in Christ Jesus Lord crown my holy desires with happy performances and blessed perseverance that at the end of my race I may receive the end of my hopes the salvation of my pretious soul and that for his sake and perfect holiness by whom I trust these weak and sinfull endeavours of mine shall be gratiously accepted and faithfully rewarded Amen CHAP. 38. Upon the unruliness of the Tongue with necessary cautions to restrain it Lord THY servant David is said to be a man after thine own heart and yet I find him setting a watch before his lips that he might not offend with his congue if such a chosen vessel as he had so much need of circumspection what holy cautions had I need to use what strict rules to observe who am so far from David's purity that I am nothing else but wilfull impiety I am so far Lord from being at union with thee that I am even enmity it self against thee In vain had holy David set a watch before his lips unless he had first set a guard upon his heart where the fountain is impure the streams can never be wholsome if the heart be full of sinfull corruption the tongue will soon overflow with corrupt and sinfull communication Lord I need none other proof of this point than mine own sinfull failings how often have I provoked thee to anger and displeasure against me by that usuall but most fearfull sin of swearing of which with shame and sorrow I confess my younger years were sadly guilty since when time and experience having added more light to my mind but thou O Lord especially more grace to my heart when I would have left it to my great grief I could not and had not that thy saving and preventing grace restrained my