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A28900 A gold chain of directions, with twenty gold-linkes of love, to preserve love firm between husband and wife during their lives ... by Immanuel Bourne ... Bourne, Immanuel, 1590-1672. 1669 (1669) Wing B3853; ESTC R846 36,985 212

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an especiall Gold-link of Love to bind love fast between husband and wife The fourteenth Gold-link of Love followeth The fourteenth Direction or Gold link of Love There ought to be a mutual care of and for Education of their Children which God hath graciously given unto them as Jacob spake to his Brother Esau Gen. 33.5 That they be taught and instructed both in civil and spiritual Respects both in divine and humane Learning according to the Honour and Dignity of their Places and Calling It is King Solomon's Counsel Prov. 22.6 Teach a Child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it when he is old Especially that they be seasoned with the Catechism and first principles of the Oracles of God Heb. 5.12 and the Knowledge of God's will in the Sacred Scriptures as blessed Timothy was for which St. Paul giveth that excellent Testimony you may read 2 Tim. 3.15 That from a Child he had known the holy Scriptures which are able to make us wise unto Salvation through Faith which is in Christ Jesus This is life eternal to know God the onely true God and whom he hath sent Jesus Christ John 17.3 For this care of instructing Children and Family the Lord himself commended faithful Abraham and maketh him of his secret Counsel Shall I hide from Abraham the thing that I do And he giveth this for one Reason For I know him saith the Lord that he will Command his Children and his Houshold after him to keep the way of the Lord to do Justice and Judgment that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him and his Posterity Gen. 18.19 Again this was God's Command to his People Israel That they should teach their Children diligently the Law and Word of the Lord and thou shalt talk of them when thou art in thy House and when thou walkest by the way and when thou risest up as it is recorded Deut. 6.6 7. and this no doubt with holy reverence and devotion as desirous to reveal God's mind to their Children and Family And Children are commanded to hearken to their Parents instruction Prov. 1.8 My Son hear the Instruction of thy Father and forget not the Law of thy Mother And again Prov. 31.1 you may find the words of King Lemuel the Prophecy which his Mother taught him To conclude the Apostle St. Paul Ephes 6.1 2 3 4. presseth the duty both of Children and Parents First Children obey your Parents in all things as it is fit in the Lord and honour thy Father and Mother which is the first Commandement with promise That it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long in the Land And Fathers provoke not your Children to wrath that they be not discouraged but bring them up in the Nurture and Admonition of the Lord. Thus Children well instructed in the knowledge of God's mind may be a joy to Parents and Parents enjoy their Children as blessings from the Lord and behold them as Olive branches round about their Table to God's Glory Psal 128. and as the Pledges of their mutual Love to each other And this is an excellent Gold-link of Love to preserve and keep mutual Conjugal Love between Husband and Wife The fifteenth Direction The fifteenth Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love is That the Husband and Wife according to their duty do live together and not seperate the one from the other except with consent for a time upon most necessary occasions or that they may give themselves to Fasting and Prayer and come together again that Satan tempt them not as St. Paul directeth 1 Cor. 7.5 That so living lovingly together as heirs of the Grace of life they may be mutual Helpers to each other in these Conjugal Duties This Rule St. Peter giveth 1 Pet. 3.7 Husbands dwell with your Wives as men of Knowledge And St. Paul 1 Cor. 7.13 If a woman that believeth hath a husband that believeth not or is not a Christian yet if he please to dwell with her let her not leave him but continue that she may be a help to him for his Soul as well as for his Body and Estate When God did make the woman The Lord God said It is not good for man to be alone I will make him a help meet for him Gen. 2 18. And a good wife will be a Helper for good not a hinderance to her husband God did make the woman to be a second-self Mr. Ainsworth in Gen. 2. like him in nature knit to him in Love needful for Children helpful in all Duties present always with him and so very meer and profitable as a joyful Companion in all estates in adversity as well as in Prosperity in Sickness as well as in Health in Poverty as well as in a rich Estate This requireth cohabitation That the wife leave not the husband nor the husband forsake the wife Because this unjust and unchristian forsaking of husband or wife for light differences for any thing less then that which is a sufficient ground for a lawful Divorce by the Law of God This giveth occasion of sin abateth love and cannot expect a blessing from God yea this too often doth break off Love betwixt Husband and Wife when cohabitation doth preserve Conjugal Love and will do if they live in the fear of God and follow his Directions to the end The sixteenth Direction The sixteenth Direction or or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love to bind love fast and prevent sinful Breaches betwixt husband and wife is for both to learn that first lesson of a Christian which our Saviour taught his Disciples Math. 16.24 They must sometimes deny themselves that is their own wills and desires passions and affections bridle rash anger and over-rule their passions yea their right sometimes for quietness sake they must not be both self-willed nor both angry at once or at the same time King Solomon witnesseth That he that is stow to Anger is better then the Mighty and he that ruleth his Spirit then he that taketh a City Prov. 16.32 And a soft answer turneth away wrath but grievous words stir up anger Prov. 15.1 And again that wise man Prov. 19. Prov. 19.9 19. It is better to dwell in a Corner of the house top then with a Brawling woman in a wide House And again verse 19. It is better to dwell in the Wilderness then with a contentious and angry woman And that Kingly Preacher again Eccles 7.9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry for anger resteth in the bosome of Fools Simile It was a witty conceit of the Father who gave two Caps to his new married Son and Daughter made fit for Solomons angry Fools with this Contract that they should never put them on both at once But if the husband had put on his Cap the wife should let hers lie still not take it by any means and the same direction to
Christ JESUS Immanuel Bourne From my Study in Waltham in the County of Leicester October 20. 1668. A COPY OF THE EPISTLE OF The very Learned and Godly Doctor Wilkinson Declaring his Judgment upon this Gold Chain of Directions to preserve mutual Love between Husband and Wife Translated into English by a Friend To the Reverend and Learned my worthy Friend Master Immanuel Bourne Rector of Waltham these present Reverend Sir THe Book which in your kind Respects you delivered into my hands I have with most earnest desiring Eyes perused throughout which most happy Work as well of your Heart as Head more inwardly searching to understand seemeth to me to be a Gold-Chain indeed as much as I conceive and apprehend like another Iliade inclosed in the shell of a Nut comprehending very many things inservient for the publick good wherefore you are earnestly intreated by me that this Diatribe Discourse or Argument so very profitable and seasonable which now you have taken care to be perfected you would take care to be brought to the light as fitted for the profit of the whole Common Wealth both the Married and to be Married will owe very much unto you as opportunely admonishing every of them of their Proper Duties That I may declare my Opinion from the bottome of my Heart I most willingly professe in this little Book so pithy and full of Juyce you have on each part abundantly delivered your Faith truly worthy a Minister of the Gospel Therefore let it be far from you that by any means on your behalf it should be hindred by any further delay from being put to the Printer that the work so prosperously by you finished may enjoy the publick Light Farewel most learned and pious SIR to be honoured for your venerable gray Hairs and embrace me with your accustomed Favour A most studious worthy Respecter of you Hen. Wilkinson From Buckminster-Hall Nov. 4. 1668. Reverende Vir QUem mihi in manus pro candore tuo tradidisti Librum oculis quàm avidissimis perlustravi Quod ipsum Opus longè felicissimum tam cordis tui quam cerebri videat mihi penitius exploranti intelligere Auream esse reverâ catenam in quantum sapiam capiam Iliadem alteram quam plurima bono publico inservientia vel in nucis inclusam putamine complectentem Quocirca à me quam maximè serio exorandus es ut istam Diatribam apprime utilem tempestivam quam jamjam lima curasti donandam luce donandam è vestigio curares ut pote totius reipublica utilitati attemperatam Plurimum tibi debebunt tam Maritati quam Maritandi cum eorum unumquemque proprii officii tempestivè commonefeceris Quòd ab imo pectore emanantem animi mei expromam sententiam haud illibenter profiteor in ista scriptiùncula ut nervosa et succi plenâ fidem tuam omni ex parte te abunde liberasse Ministro dignam vere Evangelico Absit itaque ut per te quovismodo steterit vel ex tua parte ulterior Typographo iniiciatur Remora quo minus opus istud à te feliciter concinnatum luce frueretur Vale vir Doctissime juxtà ae Pientissime veneranda canitie Honorande neque ut soles amore tuo complectitor Tui quam animitus cultorem studiosissimum HEN. WILKINSON Dabam Aula-Buckminsteri Nov. 4. 1668. A Gold Chain OF DIRECTIONS WITH Twenty Gold Linkes of Love to preserve Love between Husband and Wife FIrst The first Direction or gold link of Love To preserve Conjugal Love between Husband and Wife the Spirit of God in Sacred Scripture directs That a special Care be taken in the choice of a Wife or of a Husband Beza upon that place Non ut Arabs interpres c. sed religiosè cum Dei timore So Mr. Calvin Benedictus Aretius Pareus according to the Rule of the blessed Apostle St. Paul 1 Cor. 7.39 That they marry in the Lord That is not only a Christian by Profession and not an Infidel as an Arabian Interpreter conceiveth which Mr. Beza noteth But religiously and in the fear of God as other godly and learned Divines judge That in their choice they respect a Religion for thus Marriages are Contracted more prosperously and a blessing may be expected when the married parties both fear God Such being pronounced blessed by the Holy Ghost Psal 112.1 Blessed is the man that feareth the Lord that delighteth greatly in his Commandements His seed shall be mighty upon Earth the Congregation of the upright shall be blessed Wealth and Riches shall be in his house and his righteousnesse endure for ever And again Psal 128. The same Prophet King David speaketh the same in effect inspired by the Holy Ghost 2 Pet. 1.20 21. Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord that walketh in his wayes for thou shalt eat the labour of thy hands happy shalt thou be and it shall be well with thee Thy wife shall be as the fruitful Vine by the sides of thy house thy Children like the Olive plants round about thy Table Behold that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord the Lord shall bless thee out of Zion and thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the dayes of thy life yea thou shalt see thy childrens children and peace upon Israel Thus an excellent blessing comes to them that fear God But on the contrary part when the Man or Woman is an Idolater Atheistical Prophane or Deboist without the fear of God any way wicked by Education Custome or Condition a Curse may rather be expected then a Blessing That Kingly Preacher Eccles 8.12 13. giveth this evidence That although a Sinner do evil an hundred times and his dayes be prolonged yet I know it shall be well with them that fear God which reverence before him But it shall not be well with the wicked neither shall he prolong his dayes which are as a shadow because he feareth not before God It fell out thus with the old World Gen. 6.1 2 3. c. when the Sons of God the Children of religious Parents Members of the Church did see the Daughters of Men that they were fair Gen 7.1 3. that is the Posterities of Prophane and that wicked Cain and they that were or should have been Gods Children made choice of these prophane irreligious Wives they provoked God to anger and he brought in the Flood upon the world of the Ungodly 2 Pet. 2.5 to their Destruction only religious Noah and his Family were saved alive in the Ark. Gen. 7.23 Again prophane Esau Gen. 24.63 the Son of religious Isaac by the evil choice of his Wives was a grief of mind to his aged Parents Isaac and Rebecka Gen. 26.34 35. and too many such like Marriages we read of in holy Scriptures 1 King 11.1 2 3. to have been in the World as you may find at full if you search the Sacred Records 2 Kings 8.26