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lord_n abbey_n abbot_n become_v 22 3 6.7462 4 false
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A14103 The schoolemaster, or teacher of table philosophie A most pleasant and merie companion, wel worthy to be welcomed (for a dayly gheast) not onely to all mens boorde, to guyde them with moderate [and] holsome dyet: but also into euery mans companie at all tymes, to recreate their mindes, with honest mirth and delectable deuises: to sundrie pleasant purposes of pleasure and pastyme. Gathered out of diuers, the best approued auctours: and deuided into foure pithy and pleasant treatises, as it may appeare by the contentes. Twyne, Thomas, 1543-1613.; Anguilbertus, Theobaldus. Mensa philosophica.; Turswell, Thomas, 1548-1585, attributed name. 1576 (1576) STC 24411; ESTC S111450 115,907 158

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newes The drunken Prior answeared a vengeance on this Abbey for they were woont to haue twelue dishes of meate at a dinner and this day they had but eleuen Then answeared the knight If I had but two disshes of meate in my house they would suffise me and thou wretch as thou art canst not be contented with eleuen surely I wyll geue thee the twelfth and there withall he threwe him downe in the durt There was a knight which desyred much to heare his wyues confession which she denyed hym because he hadde on neyther Surplice nor Stoale And when he had gotten them and put them on and disguised hym selfe he called her and she confessed her selfe vnto hym saying that when she was young she loued a young Gentleman and afterward a Squ●re and then a Knight and next a Foole and lastly a Priest Then the knight hearyng that in a rage cast of the Surplice and the Stoale and asked her angerly if that Priest were nowe liuing and she sayde yea requesting hym that he would reueile it to no man And after three dayes when he had sufficiently bit on the bridle and vexed him selfe she came vnto him and sayde Deare husband vnderstand that that which I sayde vnto you in my confession I spake it for the nonce and I tould you the trueth for first when I was married vnto you you were a young gentleman and afterward a Squire then were you dubbed a Knight and after that you became a foole because you coueted to vnderstand such matters of your faythfull Lady and nowe lastly you are become a Priest for you haue heard my confession Frontinus in his fyrst boke wryteth that when Scipio landed in Africa comming foorth of the ship he fell downe to the ground and because his souldiers should not be afraide Heare ye my souldiers said he I haue now taken all Africa Cap. 9. Of Squires and armour bearers and their merie iestes QVintus Curtius in his historie of Alexander the great wryteth that when Alexander fought with Darius there was a Persian who putting on the armour of a Macedonian souldier came behind Alexander and strake him on the head but his helmet was so hard that the stroke glaunced away and did him no harme Then being apprehended and brought before the king and demaunded why he had done so answeared that Darius and he had couenanted that yf he coulde kyll Alexander he should then marrie his daughter and haue part of his kyngdome Then Alexander liking well of the couenant and praysyng his aduenture suffered him to depart safe to his company A certayne Squire offered him selfe vnto a king to serue hym saying that he was very sturdie and bould On a tyme seeing raine lying vpon the kinges head he would haue beaten it of and as he was dooing the king boughed with his mouth to make him afraide Then he immediatly lyfted vp his hand and gaue him a boxe on the eare that he cast him to the ground saying wylt thou eate me vp But when the other seruants would haue apprehended him the king bid them let him alone saying I tooke him into my seruice because he promised me that he was bo●ld Two Squires were sworne fellowes concerning all their gaynes and pray whereof one went into turneament and gained much the other went not but required his my Lorde sayd the poore man yf you heare hym speake then haue I surely lost my Cowe in deede An Aduocate ●ntred into the Cisterian order and was set to kéepe sheepe In a tyme when great trouble arose in the Abbey there was none found that could geue any good counsell but he only At the length being called and required wh●rfore he medled not with the Monasterie matters answeared O brethren God geueth abrode in the worlde and the Abbot in the order of religion A certayne Earle going forth on Pilgrimage put his lawier in trust with his wyfe whyle he should be absent When the Earle was departed the Lawyer began earn●stly to sollicite her to consent to his incontinent lust whereunto because she would not agree he withdrewe from her her meate and apparrel and other necessaries apper●eyning vnto her necessarie furniture At length fearing lest she should be starued and that the people would thinke that it came through some euyll desart of hers graunted to consent vnto him and sent her handmaide to bed vnto him in her stéede And when he had taken his pleasure of her he cut her finger which the Lady hearing tred a linnen cloth about her owne finger Now when the Earle was returned and this bawdy Lawyer thought to haue shamed the Lady before her Lord she disprooued his trecherie and proued him a lyer saying Looke whose finger is cut she it is that lay with you and there withall she plucked away the cloth and shewed her finger that was whole A certayne Lawyer had taken sees of both parties in a controuersie of one a Cowe of the other an Oxe Nowe when he shoulde pleade for him that had geuen him the Oxe he was dumb and could not speake Then sayde the Client Speake Oxe and he answeared The Cowe wyll not suffer me A man of the countrey desyred an Aduocate to teache him the best woord belongyng to an Aduocate and he would geue him a certayne number of Goslinges for a reward Then sayd the Aduocate whatsoeuer is asked of thee in iudgement deny it and require a longer time to answeare although thou knowe it w●ll already N●w when the Aduocate sent his seruantes for the Goselinges the countreyman denyed them saying that he owed him none But at length confessing the det hée required a longer terme to pay him which was an whole yéere after A certein Lawier which obtained the vpper hande in all causes became a Munke and beeing made solicitour for the Abbey all matters went against him And when the Abbot was much displeased therwith hee said vnto him my Lorde bée not angry for now I dare not lie and face as I haue done béefore and therfore I loose all matters that are committed vnto mée And Aduocate béeing very sicke his friendes that were about him thought it expedient for him to receiue the Communiō ere he died Then said he I will hear iudgment whether it wer best for mée to do so or not Then said his frindes wee iudge it best But I appeale frō your sentence quod hée for you are not my iudges and so died And an old verse there is written of lawiers many a yéere agoe I haue heard some which made their mone That Lawiers friendly are to none But whether that bee true or no It is not lawfull to say so Chap. 12. Of Marchant men byers and sellers A Proper iest of a certen Marchant that would neuer come to Church nor heare sermons and beeing mooued often times by his wife therto said alwayes vnto her go thou for vs both On a night he dreamed that he