too much to them or rely too much on them The best means in the world are weak and ineffectual without Gods assistance and concurrence and they never have that his assistance or concurrence when his time is come and that it was fully come in your friends case is manifested now by the event So that if your friend had had the most excellent helps the world affords they would have avail'd nothing This consideration takes place only in your case who see what the will of God is by the issue and may not be pleaded by any whilst it remains dubious and uncertain as it generally doth in time of sickness 2. Answer Do you not unjustly charge and fault your selves for that which is not really your fault or neglect How far you are chargeable in this case will best appear by comparing the circumstances you are now in with those you were in when your Relation was only arrested by sickness and it was dubious to you what was your duty and best course to take Possibly you had observed so many to perish in Physitians hands and so many to recover without them that you judged it safer for your friend to be without those means than to be hazarded by them Or if diverse methods and courses were prescribed and perswaded to and you now see your error in preferring that which was most improper and neglecting what was more safe and probable yet as long as it did not so appear to your understanding at that time but you followed the best light you had to guide you at that time it were most unjust to charge the fault upon your selves for chusing that course that then seemed best to you whether it were so in it self or not To be angry with your selves for doing or omâ—tâ—ing what was then done or omitted according to your best discretion and judgment because you now see it by the light of the event far otherwise than you did before is to be troubled that you are but men or that you are not as God who only can foresee Issues and events and that you acted as all rational creatures are bound to do according to the best light they have at the time and season of action 3. Answer To conclude times of great affliction are ordinarily times of great temptation and it 's usual with Satan then to charge us with more sins than we are really guilty of and also to make those things seem to be sins which upon impartial examination will not be found to be so Indeed had your neglect or miscarriage been knowing and voluntary or had you really prefer'd a little money being able to give it before the life of your Relation so that you did deliberatly chuse to hazard this rather than part with that no doubt then but there had been much evil of sin mixed with your affliction and your Conscience may justly smite you for it as your sin But in the other case which is more common and I presume yours it 's a false charge and you ought not to abet the design of Satan in it Judg by the sorrow you now feel for your friend in what degree he was dear to you and what you could now be content to give to ransom his life if it could be done with money Judg I say by this how groundless the charge is that Satan now draws up against you and you are but too ready to yeild to the truth of it 8. Plea But my troubles are upon a higher score and account My child or friend is passed into Eternity and I know not how it is with its soul. Were I sure that my Relation were with Christ I should be quiet but the fears of the contrary are overwhelming O it 's terrible to think of the damnation of one so dear to me 1. Answer Admit what the objection supposes that you have real grounds to fear the eternal condition of your dear Relation yet it 's utterly unbeseeming you even in such a case as this to dispute with or repine against the Lord. I do confess it 's a sore and heavy tryal and that there is no case more sad and sinking to the spirit of a gracious person Their death is but a trifle to this but yet if you be such as fear the Lord methinks his indisputable Soveraignty over them and his distinguishing love and mercy to you should at least silence you in this matter First His indisputable Soveraignty over them Rom. 9. 20. Who art thou O man that disputest with God He speaks it in the matters of eternal election and reprobation What if the Lord will not be gracious to those that are so dear to us Is there any wrong done to them or us thereby Aarons two Sons were cut off in an act of sin by the Lords immediate hand and yet he held his peace Levit. 10. 3. God told Abraham plainly that the Covenant should not be established with Ishmael for whom he so earnestly pray'd O let Ishmael live before thee and he knew that there was no salvation out of the Covenant and yet he sits down silent under the word of the Lord. Secondly But if this do not quiet you yet methinks his distinguishing love and mercy to you should do it O what do you owe to God that root and branch had not been cast together into the fire that the Lord hath given you good hope through grace that it shall be well with you for ever Let this stop your mouth and quiet your spirit though you should have grounds for this fear 2. Answer But pray examine the grounds of your fear whether it may not proceed from the strength of your affections to the eternal welfare of your friend or from the subtilty of Satan designing hereby to over-whelm and swallow you up in sorrow as well as from just grounds and causes In two cases it 's very probable your fear may proceed only from your own affection or Satans temptation First If your Relation died young before it did any thing to destroy your hopes Or Secondly If grown and in some good degree hopeful only he did not in life or at death manifest and give evidence of grace with that clearness as you desired As to the case of Infants in general it 's none of our concern to judg their condition and as for those that sprang from Covenanted parents it becomes us to exercise Charity towards them the Scripture speaks very favourably of them And as for the more adult who have escaped the polutions of the world and made Conscience of sin and duty albeit they never manifested what you could desire they had yet in them as in young Abijah may be found some good thing towards the Lord which you never took notice of Reverence of your authority bashfulness and shamefac'dness reservedness of disposition and many other things may hide those small and weak beginnings of grace that are in children from the observations of the Parents God might see
to see one mercy left than that twenty are cut off They that know they have forfeited every mercy should be thankful that they enjoy any and patient when they loose many of their comforts Did we know God even that Soveraign Lord at whose dispose our comforts come and go who can the next moment blast all that remain and turn you into hell afterwards you would prize the mercies he yet indulges to you at an higher value Did you understand the fickle vanishing nature of the Creature what a flower what a bubble it is Oh how thankful would you be to find so many yet left in your possession Did you know the case of thousands as good yea better than you whose whole harvest of comfort in this world is but an handful to the gleanings of the comforts you still enjoy who in all their lives never were owners of such comfortable enjoyments as you now over-look surely you would not act as you do Beside What vile ingratitude is in this What! are all your remaining mercies worth nothing You have buried a child a friend Well but still you have a husband a wife other children or if not you have comfortable accommodations for your selves with health to enjoy them or if not yet you have the Ordinances of God it may be an interest in Christ and in the Covenant pardon of sin and hopes of glory What! and yet sink at this rate as if all your mercies comforts and hopes even in both worlds were buried in one grave Must Ichabod be written upon your best mercies because mortality is written upon one Fye fye What shameful ingratitude is here And really friend Such a carriage as this under the rod is no small provocation to the Lord to go on in Judgment and make a full end of all that remains so that affliction shall not rise up the second time What if God taking notice how little thou regardest the many undeserved favours thou yet possessest should say Well if thou think'st them not worth the owning neither do I think them worth the continuing Go death there 's a husband a wife other children yet left smite them all Go sickness and remove the health of his body yet left go losses and impoverish his estate yet left go reproach and blast his reputation which is yet sweet What would you think of this And yet if you be out of Christ you are in danger of a far sadder stroke than either or all yet mention'd What if God should say Prizest thou not my mercy Hast thou no value for my goodness and forbearance towards thee Is it nothing that I have spar'd thee thus long in thy sins and rebellions Well then I will stretch out my hand upon thy life cut off that thred which hath kept thee so many years from dropping into hell O think then what you have done by provoking the Lord through your vile ingratitude It s a dangerous thing to provoke God when he is already in a way of Judgement And if you be his own people and so out of the danger of this last and worst stroke yet know you have better mercies to lose than any you have yet lost Should God cloud your soul with doubts let loose Satan to buffet you remove joy and peace from your inner man How soon would you be convinced that the funeral of your dearest friend is but a trifle to this Well then Whatever God takes be still thankful for what he leaves It was the great sin of Israel in the wilderness that though God had delivered them from their cruel servitude in Egypt miraculously fed them in the desert and was leading them on to a Land flowing with milk and hony yet as soon as any want did but begin to pinch them presently all these mercies were forgotten and slighted Numb 14. 12. Would to God say they we had died in Egypt And Numb 11. 6. There is nothing at all beside this Mannah Beware of this O ye mourning and afflicted ones You see both the sin that is in it and the danger that attends it Secondly And no less sinful are our Sorrows When they so wholly ingulph our hearts that we either mind not at all or are little or nothing sensible of the publick evils and calamities which lye upon the Church and people of God Some Christians have such publick spirits that the Churches troubles swallow up their personal troubles Melanchton seemed to take little notice of the death of his child which he dearly loved being almost overwhelm'd with the miseries lying on the Church And it was a good evidence of the graciousness and publickness of Elies spirit who sitting in the gate anxiously waiting for tydings from the Army when the tydings came that Israel fled before the Philistins that his two Sons Hophni and Phineas were dead and that the Ark of God was taken just at the mention of that word The Ark of God before he heard out the whole narration his mind quickly presaging the issue he sank down and died 1 Sam. 4. 19 20. O that was the sinking the killing word had the messenger stopt at the death of his two Sons like enough he had supported that burden but the loss of the Ark was more to him than sons or daughters But how few such publick spirits appear even among Professors in this selfish generation May we not with the Apostle complain Phil. 2. 21. All seek their own and not the things that are of Christ. Few men have any great cares or designs lying beyond the bounds of their own private interests And what we say of cares is as true of sorrows if a child dye we are ready to dye too but publick calamities pierce us not How few suffer either their domestick comforts to be swallow'd up in the Churches troubles or their domestick troubles to be swallowed up by the Churches mercies Now when it is thus with us when we little regard what mercies or miseries lye upon others but are wholly intent upon our own afflictions this is a sinful sorrow and ought to be sorrowed for Thirdly Our Sorrows then become sinful and exorbitant When they divert us from or distract us in our dutys so that our intercourse with heaven is stopt and interrupted by them How long can we sit alone musing upon a dead Creature Here our thoughts easily flow but how hard to fix them upon the living God! When our hearts should be in heaven with our Christ they are in the grave with our dead May not many afflicted souls justly complain that their troubles have takenaway their Christ from them I mean as to sweet sensible communion and laid the dead child in his room Poor Creature cease to weep any longer for thy dead Relation and weep rather for thy dead heart Is this thy compliance with Gods design in afflicting thee What to grow a greater stranger to him than before Or is this the way to thy cure and comfort in affliction
to restraine prayer and turn thy back upon God Or if thou darest not wholly neglect thy duty yet thy affliction spoyles the success and comfort of it thy heart is wandering dead distracted in prayer and meditation so that thou hast no relief or comfort from it Rouze up thy self Christian and consider This is not right Surely the rod works not kindly now What did thy love to God expire when thy friend expired Is thy heart as cold in duty as his body is in the grave Hath natural death seized him and spiritual deadness seized thee Sure then thou hast more reason to lament thy dead heart than thy dead friend Divert the stream of thy troubles speedily and labour to recover thy self out of this temper quickly least sad experience shortly tell thee that what thou now mournest for is but a trifle to that that thou shalt mourn for hereafter To loose the heavenly warmth and spiritual liveliness of thy affections is undoubtedly a far more considerable loss than to loose the wife of thy bosom or the sweetest child that ever a tender parent laid in the grave Reader If this be thy case Thou hast reason to challenge the first place among the mourners It s better for thee to bury ten sons than to remit one degree of love or delight in God The end of God in smiting was to win thy heart nearer to him by removing that which estranged it How then dost thou cross the very design of God in this dispensation Must God then lose his delight in thy fellowship because thou hast lost thine in the creature Surely when thy troubles thus accompany thee to thy closet they are sinful and extravagant troubles Fourthly Then you may also conclude your sorrows to be excessive and sinful When they so overload and oppress your bodies as to endanger your lives or render them useless and unfit for service Worldly Sorrow works death 2 Cor. 7. 10. that is Sorrow after the manner of worldly men sorrow in a meer carnal natural way which is not relieved by any spiritual reasonings and considerations This falls so heavysometimes upon the body that it sinks under the weight and is cast into such diseases as are never more wrought off or healed in this world Heaviness in the heart of a man makes it stoop saith Solomon Prov. 12. 25. The stoutest body must stoop under heart pressures It is with the mind of man saith one as with the stone Tyrhenus as long as its whole it swimeth but once broken it sinks presently Grief is a moth which getting into the mind will in short time make the body be it never so strong and well wrought a piece like an old seary garment Philosophers and Physitians generally reckon sorrow among the chief causes of shortning life Christ was a man of sorrows and acquainted with griefes and this some think was the reason that he appeared as a man of fifty when he was little more than thirty years old Joh. 8. 57. But his sorrows were of another kind Many a mans Soul is to his Body as a sharp knife to a thin sheath which easily cuts it through and what do we by poreing and pondering upon our troubles but whet the knife that it may cut the deeper and quicker Of all the Creatures that ever God made Devils only excepted man is the most able and apt to be his own tormentor How unmercifully do we load them in times of affliction How do we not only waste their strength by sorrow but deny relief and necessary refreshment They must carry the load but be allowed no refreshment If they can eat the bread of affliction and drink tears they may feed at full but no pleasant bread no quiet sleep is permitted them Surely you would not burden a beast as you do your own bodies you would pitty and relieve a bruit beast groaning and sinking under an heavy burden but you will noc pitty not relieve your own bodies Some mens souls have given such deep wounds to their bodies that they are never like to enjoy many easie or comfortable dayes more whilst they dwell in them Now this is very sinful and displeasing to God for if he have such a tender care for our bodies that he would not have us swallowed up of over much grief no though it be for sin 2 Cor. 2. 7. but even to that sorrow sets bounds How much less with outward sorrow for temporal losses May not your stock of natural strength be imployed to better purposes think you than these Time may come that you may earnestly wish you had that health and strength again to spend for God which you now so lavishly waste and prodigally cast away upon your troubles to no purpose or advantage It was therefore an high point of wisdom in David and Recorded no doubt for our immitation who when the child was dead ceased to mourn but arose washed himself and eat bread 2 Sam. 12. 20. Fifthly When affliction sowres the Spirit with discontent and makes it inwardly grudge against the hand of God then our trouble is full of sin and we ought to be humbled for it before the Lord. Whatever God doth with us or ours still we should maintain good thoughts of him A gracious heart cleaves nearer and nearer to God in affliction and can justifie God in his severest strokes acknowledging them to be all just and holy Psal. 119. 75 I know also that thy Judgements are right and that thou in faithfulness hast afflicted me And hereby the soul may comfortably evidence to it self its own uprightness and sincere love to God Yea it hath been of singular use to some souls to take right measures of their love to God in such tryals to have lovely and well pleased thoughts of God even when he smites us in our nearest and dearest comforts argues plainly that we love him for himself and not for his gifts only And that his interest in the heart is deeper than any creature interest is And such is the comfort that hath resulted to some from such discoveries of their own hearts by close smarting afflictions that they would not part with it to have their comforts whose removal occasioned them given back in lieu of it But to swell with secret discontent and have hard thoughts of God as if he had done us wrong or dealt more severely with us than any O this is a vile temper cursed fruit springing from an evil root a very carnal ignorant proud heart or at least from a very distempered if renewed heart So it was with Jonah when God smote his Gourd Tea saith he I do well to be angry even unto death Jonah 4. 9. Poor man he was highly distempered at this time and out of frame this was not his true temper or ordinary frame but a surprize the effect of a paroxisme of temptation in which his passions had been over-heated Few dare to vent it in such language But how many have their
them for peace and settlement beyond that state you are in And here I do with much more freedom and hope of success apply my sēlf to the work of councelling and comforting the afflicted You are the fearers of the Lord and tremble at his word the least sin is more formidable to you than the greatest affliction Doubtless you would rather chuse to bury all your children than provoke and grieve your heavenly Father Your Relations are dear but Christ is dearer to you by far Well then let me perswade you to retire a while into your closets redeem a little time from your unprofitable sorrows ease and empty your hearts before the Lord and beg his blessing upon the following quieting and heart composing considerations that follow some of which are more general and common some more particular and special but all of them such as through the blessing of God may be very useful at this time to your souls 1. Consid. Consider in this day of sorrow who is the framer and author of this rod by which you now smart Is it not the Lord and if the Lord have done it it becomes you meekly to submit Psal. 46. 10. Be still and know that I am God Man and man stand upon even ground if your fellow creature do any thing that displeases you you may not only enquire Who did it but Why he did it You may demand his grounds and reasons for what he hath done but you may not do so here It is expected that this one thing The Lord hath done it should without any farther disputes or contests silence and quiet you what ever it be that he hath done Job 33. 13. Why dost thou strive against him for he giveth not an account of any of his matters The supream being must needs be an unaccountable and uncontroulable being It s a shame for a child to strive with his Father a shame for a servant to contend with his Master but for a creature to quarrel and strive with the God that made him O how shameful is it Surely t is highly reasonable that you be subject to that will whence you proceeded and that he who formed you and yours should dispose of both as seemeth him good It is said 2 Sam. 3. 36. That whatsoever the King did pleased all the people and shall any thing the Lord doth displease you He can do no wrong If we pluck a Rose in the bud as we walk in our Gardens Who shall blame us for it it is our own and we may crop it off when we please Is not this the case Thy sweet bud which was cropt before it was fully blown was cropt off by him that owned it yea by him that formed it If his dominion be absolute sure his disposal should be acceptable It was so to good Eli 1 Sam. 3. 18. It is the Lord let him do what seemeth him good And it was so to David Psal. 39. 9. I was dumb I opened not my mouth because thou didst it O let it be for ever remembred That he whose name alone is Jehovah is the most high over all the earth Psal. 83. 18. The glorious soveraignty of God is illustriously displayed in two things his decrees and his providences With respect to the first he saith Rom. 9. 15. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy Here is no ground of disputing with him for so it s said ver 20. Who art thou O man that replyest against God Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it Why hast thou made me thus Hath not the potter power over the clay And as to his Providences wherein his Soveraignty is also manifested It s said Zech. 2. 13. Be silent O all flesh before the Lord for he is raised up out of his habitation It s spoken of his providential working in the changes of Kingdoms and desolations that attend them Now seeing the case stands thus that Lord hath done it it is his pleasure to have it so and if it had not been his will it could never have been as it is He that gave thee rather lent thee thy Relation hath taken him O how quiet should this consideration leave thee If your Landlord who hath many years suffered you to dwell in his house do at last warn you out of it though he tell you not why you will not contend with him or say he hath done you wrong much less if he tell you it will be more for his profit and accommodation to take it into his own hand than let it to you any longer Doubtless reason will tell you you ought quietly to pack up and quit it It s your great Landlord from whom you hold at pleasure your own and your Relations lives that hath now warned you out from one of them it being more for his glory it may be to take it in hand by death And must you dispute the case with him Come Christian this no way becomes thee but rather The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken blessed be the name of the Lord. Look off from a dead creature lift up thine eyes to the Soveraign wise and holy pleasure that ordered this affliction Consider who he is and what thou art yea pursue this consideration till thou canst say I am filled with the will of God 2. Consid. Ponder well the quality of the comfort you are deprived of and remember that when you had it it stood but in the rank and order of common and inferiour comforts Children and all other Relations are but common blessings which God indifferently bestows upon his friends and enemies and by the having or losing of them no man knows either love or hatred It is said of the wicked Psal. 77. 14. That they are full of children yea and of children that do survive them too for They leave their substance to their babes Full of sin yet full of children and these children live to inherit their parents sins and estates together It is the mistaking of the quality and nature of our enjoyments that so plunges us into trouble when we lose them We think there is so necessary a connexion betwixt these creatures and our happiness that we are utterly undone when they fail us But this is our mistake there is no such necessary connection or dependance we may be happy without these things It is not father mother wife or child in which our chief good and felicity lyes we have higher better and more enduring things than these all these may perish and yet our soul secure and safe yea and our comfort in the way as well as end may be safe enough though these be gone God hath better things to comfort his people with than these and worse rods to afflict you with than the removal of these had God let your children live and flourish and given you ease and rest in your Tabernacle but in the mean time inflicted spiritual Judgements upon your souls How much more sad had
I beseech you the time of your childs continuance in the womb was fixed to a minute by the Lord and when the parturient fulness of that time was come Were you not willing it should be delivered thence into the world The tender Mother would not have it abide one minute longer in the womb how well soever she loved it And is there not the same reason we should be willing when Gods appointed time is come to have it delivered by death out of this state which in respect of the life of Heaven is but as the life of a child in the womb to its life in the open world And let none say that the death of children is a premature death God hath waies to ripen them for Heaven whom he intends to gather thither betimes which we know not In respect of fitness they dye in a full age though they be cut off in the bud of their time He that appointed the seasons of the year appointed the seasons of our comfort in Relations and as those seasons cannot be altered no more can these All the course of providence is guided by an unalterable decree what falls out casually to our apprehension yet falls out necessarily in respect of Gods appointment O therefore be quieted in it this must needs be as it is 4. Consid. Hath God smitten your darling and taken away the delight of your eyes with his stroke Bear this stroke with patience and quiet submission for how know you but your trouble might have been greater from the life than it is now from the death of your children Sad experience made a holy man once to say It s better weep for ten dead children than for one living child a living child may prove a continual dropping yea a continual dying to the parents heart What a sad word was that of David to Abishai 2 Sam. 16. 11. Behold saith he my Son which came out of my bowels seeketh my life I remember Seneca in his consolatory Epistle to his friend Marullus brings in his friend thus aggravating the death of his child O saith Marullus Had my child lived with me to how great modesty gravity and prodence might my discipline have formed and moulded him But saith Seneca which is more to be feared he might have been as others mostly are for look saith he what children come even out of the worthiest families such who exercise both their own and others lusts in all whose life there is not a day without the mark of some notorious wickedness upon it I know your tender love to your children will scarce admit such jealousies of them they are for present sweet lovely innocent companions and you doubt not but by your care of their education and prayer for them they might have been the joy of your hearts Why doubtless Esan when he was little and in his tender age promised as much comfort to his parents as Jacob did and I question not but Isaac and Rebecca a gracious pair spent as many prayers and bestowed as many holy councels upon him as they did upon his brother But when the child grew up to riper years then he became a sharp affliction to his Parents for it s said in Gen. 26. 34. That when Esau was forty years old he took to wife Judith the daughter of Berith the Hittite which was a grief of mind to Isaac and Rebecca The word in the original comes from a root that signifies to imbitter This child imbittered the minds of his parents by his rebellion against them and despising their councells And I cannot doubt but Abraham disciplin'd his family as strictly as any of you never man received an higher encomium from God upon that account Gen. 18. 19. I know him that he will command his children and his houshold after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord. Nor can I think but he bestowed as many and as frequent prayers for his children and particularly for his Ishmael as any of you We find one and that a very pathetical one recorded Gen. 17. 18. O that Ishmael might live before thee and yet you know how he proved a son that yeilded him no more comfort than Esau did to Jacob and Rebeccah O how much more common is it for parents to see the vices and evils of their children than their vertues and graces And where one parent lives to rejoice in beholding the grace of God shining forth in the life of his child there are twenty it may be an hundred that live to behold to their vexation and grief the workings of corruption in them It is a note of Plutarch in his Morals Niocles saith he lived not to see the noble Victory obtained by Themistocles his Son Nor Miltiades to see the battle his Son Cimon wan in the field Nor Zantippus to hear his Son Pericles Preach and make Orations Ariston never heard his Son Plato's lectures and disputations But men saith he commonly live to see their children fall a Gaming Revelling Drinking and Whoring multitudes live to see such things to their sorrow And if thou be a gracious soul O what a cut would this be to thy very heart to see those as David spake of his Absolom that came out of thy bowels to be sinning against God that God whom thou lovest and whose honour is dearer to thee than thy very life But admit they should prove civil and hopeful children yet mightest thou not live to see more misery come upon them than thou couldst endure to see O think what a sad and doleful sight was that to Zedekiah Jer. 50. 10. The King of Babilon brought his children and slew them before his eyes Horrid spectacle and that leads to the 5. Consid. How know you but by this stroke which you so lament God hath taken them away from the evil to come It is Gods usual way when some extraordinary calamities are coming upon the world to hide some of his weak and tender ones out of the way by death Isa. 57. 1 2. He leaves some and removes others but taketh care for the security of all He provided a grave for Methuselah before the flood The grave is an hiding place to some and God sees it better for them to be under ground than above ground in such evil dayes Just as a careful and tender Father who hath a Son abroad at school hearing the Plague is broken out in or near the place sends his Horse presently to fetch home his Son before the danger and difficulty be greater Death is our Fathers pale Horse which he fends to fetch home his tender children and carry them out of harms way Surely when National calamities are drawing on it s far better for our friends to be in the grave in peace than exposed to the miseries and distresss that are here which is the meaning of Jer. 22. 10. Weep not for the dead neither bemoan him but weep for him that goeth away for he shall return no
more nor see his native Country And is there not a dreadful sound of troubles now in our ears Do not the clouds gather blackness Surely all things round about us seem to be preparing and disposing themselves for affliction The dayes may be nigh in which you shall say Blessed is the womb that never bare and the paps that never gave suck It was in the day wherein the faith and patience of the Saints were exercised that John heard a voice from heaven saying to him Write Blessed are the dead which dye in the Lord from benceforth Thy friend hy an Act of favour is disbanded by death whilst thou thy self art left to endure a great fight of affliction And now if troubles come thy cares and fears will be so much the less and thy own death so much the easier to thee when so much of thee is in heaven already In this case the Lord by a mercifull dispensation is providing both for their safety and thy own easier passage to them In removing thy friends before hand he seems to say to thee as he did to Peter Joh. 13. 7. What I do thou knowest not now but hereafter thou shalt know it The eye of Providence hath a prospect far beyond thine it would be in probability an harder task for thee to leave them behind than to follow them A tree that 's deeply rooted in the earth requires many strokes to fell it but when its roots are loosned before hand then an easie stroke layes it down upon the earth 6. Consid. A parting time must needs come and why is not this as good as another You knew before hand your child or friend was mortal and that the thred that linked you together must be cut If any one saith Basil had asked you when your child was born What is that which is born What would you have answered Would you not have said it is a man and if a man than a Mortal vanishing thing And why then are you surprized with wonder to see a dying thing dead He saith Seneca who complaines that one is dead complains that he was a man All men are under the same condition to whose share it falls to be born to him it remains to dye We are indeed distinguisht by intervalls but equalized in the Issue It is appointed to all men once to dye Heb. 9. 27. There is a statute Law of heaven in the case Possibly you think this is the worst time for parting that could be had you enjoyed it longer you could have parted easier but how are you deceiv'd in that The longer you had enjoyed it the lother still you would have been to leave it the deeper it would have rooted it self in your affection Had God given you such a priviledge as was once granted to the English Parliament that the union betwixt you and your friend should not be dissolved till you your self were willing it should be dissolved When think you would you have been willing it should be dissolved It s well for us and ours that our times are in Gods hand not in our own And how immature soever it seemed to be when it was cut down yet it came to the grave in a full age as a shock of corn in its season Job 5. 26. They that are in Christ and in the Covenant never dye unseasonably whensoever they dye Saith one upon the Text They dye in a good old age yea though they dye in the spring and flower of youth they dye in a good old age i. e. They are ripe for death when ever they dye When ever the godly dye its harvest time with him though in a natural capacity he be cut down while he is green and cropt in the bud or blossom yet in his spiritual capacity he never dyes before he is ripe God can ripen his speedily he can let out such warm rayes and beams of his spirit upon them as shall soon maturate the seeds of grace into a preparedness for glory It was doubtless the most fit and seasonable time for them that ever they could dye in and as it is a fit time for them so for you also Had it lived longer it might either have engaged you more and so your parting would have been harder or else have puzled and stumbled you more by discovering its natural corruption And then what a stinging aggravation of your sorrow would that have been Surely the Lord of time is the best Judge of time and in nothing do we more discover our folly and rashness then in presuming to fix the times either of our comforts or troubles as to our comforts we never think they can come to soon we would have them presently whether the season be fit or not as Numb 12. 13. Heal her now Lord. O let it be done speedily we are in post hast for our comforts and as for our afflictions we never think they come late enough not at this time Lord rather at any other time than now But it s good to leave the timing both of the one and other to him whose works are all beautiful in their seasons and never doth any thing in an improper time 7. Consid. Call to mind in this day of trouble the Covenant you have made with God and what you solemnly promised him in the day you took him for your God It will be very seasonable and useful for thee Christian at this time to reflect upon those transactions and the frame of thy heart in those dayes when an heavier load of Sorrow prest thy heart than thou now feelest In those your spiritual distresses when the burthen of sin lay heavy the curse of the Law the fear of hell the dread of death and eternity beset thee on every side and shut thee up to Christ the only door of hope Ah what good news wouldst thou then have accounted it to escape that danger with the loss of all earthly comforts Was not this thy cry in those dayes Lord give me Christ and deny me what ever else thou pleasest Pardon my sin save my soul and in order to both unite me with Christ and I will never repine or open my mouth Do what thou wilt with me let me be friendless let me be childless let me be poor let me be any thing rather than a Christless graceless hopeless soul. And when the Lord hearkned to thy cry and shewed thee mercy when he drew thee off from the world into thy closet and there treated with thee in secret when he was working up thy heart to the terms of his Covenant and made thee willing to accept Christ upon his own terms O then how heartily didst thou submit to his yoak as most reasonable and easie as at that time it seemed to thee Call to mind these dayes the secret places where Christ and you made the bargain Have not these words or words to this sense been whispered by thee into his ear with a dropping eye and melting heart
can restore it yea double it in kind if he see it convenient for you And if not then 13. Consid. Consider though he should deny you any more comforts of that kind yet he hath far better to bestow upon you such as these deserve not to be named with You have an excellent Scripture to this purpose in Isa. 56. 4 5. For thus saith the Lord unto the Eunuchs that keep my Sabbaths and choose the things that please me and take hold of my Covenant even to them will I give in my house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off Mens names are said to be continued in their Issue in their male Issue especially and consequently to fail in such as wanted Issue Numb 17. 4. And a numerous Issue is deemed no small honour Psal. 127. 4 5. God therefore promiseth here to supply and make good the want of Issue and of whatsoever either honour here or memorial hereafter might from it have accrued to them by bestowing upon them matter of far greater honour and more durable a name better or before the name of Sons and Daughters It 's a greater honour to be a child of God than to have the greatest honour or comfort that ever children afforded their parents in this world Poor heart thou art now dejected by this affliction that lyes upon thee as if all joy and comfort were now cut off from thee in this world A cloud dwells upon all other comforts this affliction hath so imbittered thy soul that thou tastest no more in any other earthly comfort than in the white of an egg O that thou didst but consider the consolations that are with God for such as answer his ends in affliction and patiently wait on him for their comfort He hath comforts for you far transcending the joy of children This some have found when their children have been cut off from them and that in so eminent a degree that they have little valued their comfort in children in comparison with this comfort I will here set down a pregnant instance of the point in hand as I find it recorded by the grave and worthy Author of that excellent book entitled The fulfilling of the Scripture Another notable instance of grace with a very remarkable passage in his condition I shall here mention One Patrick Mackewrath who lived in the West parts of Scotland whose heart in a remarkable way the Lord touched and after his conversion as he shewed to many Christian friends was in such a frame so affected with a new world wherein he was entred the discoveries of God and of a life to come that for some months together he did seldom sleep but was still taken up in wondering His life was very remarkable for tenderness and near converse with God in his walk and which was worthy to be noticed one day after a sharp tryal having his only Son suddenly taken away by death he retired alone for several hours and when he came forth did look so chearfully that to those who asked him the reason thereof and wondered at the same in such a time he told them He had got that in his retirement with the Lord that to have it afterwards renewed he would be content to lose a Son every day Oh what a sweet exchange had he made Surely he had Gold for brass a pearl for a pebble a treasure for a trifle for so great yea and far greater is the disproportion betwixt the sweet light of Gods Countenance and the faint dim light of the best creature-enjoyment Would it please the Lord to make this sun arise and shine upon you now when the stars that shined with a dim and borrowed light are gone down you would see such gain by the exchange as would quickly make you cast in your votes with him we now mentioned and say Lord let every day be such as this funeral day let all my hours be as this so that I may see and taste what I now do How gladly would I part with the dearest and nearest creature-comfort I own in this world The gracious and tender Lord hath his divine Cordials reserved on purpose for such sad hours these are sometimes given before some sharp tryal to prepare for it and sometimes after to support under it I have often heard it from the mouth and found it in the Diary of a sweet Christian now with God That a little before the Lord removed her dear husband by death there was such an abundant out-let of the love of God into her soul for several days and nights following that when the Lord took away her husband by death though he were a gracious sweet temper'd and by her most tenderly beloved husband she was scarce sensible of the stroke but carried quite above all earthly things their comforts and their troubles so that she had almost lost the thoughts of her husband in God And had not the Lord taken this course with her she concluded that blow had not been possible to be born by her she must have sunck without such a preparative A Husband a Wife a Child are great very great things as they stand by other creatures but surely they will seem little things and next to nothing when the Lord shall set himself by them before the soul. And how know you but God hath bid these earthly comforts stand aside this day to make way for heavenly ones It may be God is coming to communicate himself more sweetly more sensibly than evâ—r to your souls and these are the providences which must cast up and prepare the way of the Lord. Possibly Gods meaning in their death is but this Child stand aside thou art in my way and fillest my place in thy parents heart 14. Consid. Be careful you exceed not in your grief for the loss of earthly things considering that Satan takes the advantage of all extreams You cannot touch any extream but you will be touched by that enemy whose greatest advantages lye in assaulting you there Satan is called the Ruler of the darkness of this world Eph. 6. 12. i. e. his Kingdom is supported by darkness Now there is a twofold darkness which gives Satan great advantage the darkness of the mind viz. ignorance and the darkness of the condition viz. trouble and affliction Of the former the Apostle speaks chiefly in that Text but the latter also is by him often improved to carry on his designs upon us When it 's a dark hour of trouble with us then is his fittest season to tempt That cowardly spirit falls upon the people of God when they are down and low in spirit as well as state Satan would never have desired that the hand of God should have been stretched out upon Jobs Person Estate and children but that he promised himself a notable advantage therein to poyson his spirit with vile thoughts of
a shameful thing for a Christian to be reproved for such an uncomely expression by an Heathen It 's enough to make us blush to read what an Heathen said in this case Never say thou hast lost any thing saith Epictetus but that it 's returned Is thy Son dead he is only restored Is thy inheritance taken from thee It is also returned And a while after he adds 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 i. e. Let every thing be as the Gods will have it 2. Answer It 's no fit expression to say you have lost all in one except that one be Christ and he being once yours can never be lost Doubtless your meaning is you have lost all your comfort of that kind And what though you have are there not multitudes of comforts yet remaining of a higher kind and more precious and durable nature If you have no more of that sort yet so long as you have better what cause have you to rejoyce 3. Answer You too much imitate the way of the world in this complaint they know not how to repair the loss of one comfort but by another of the same nature which must be put in its room to fill up the vacancy But have you no other way to supply your loss Have you not a God to fill the place of any creature that leaves you Surely this would better become a man whose portion is in this life than one that professes God is his all in all 5. Plea O but my only One is not only taken away but there remains no expectation or probability of any more I must now look upon my self as a dry tree never to take comfort in children any more which is a cutting thought 1. Answer Suppose what you say that you have no hope or expectation of another child remaining to you yet if you have a hope of better things than children you have no reason to be cast down bless God for higher and better hopes than these in Isa. 56. 4 5. the Lord comforts them that had no expectation of sons or daughters with this That he will give unto them in his house and within his walls a place and a name better than of Sons or of Daughters even an everlasting name that shall not be cut off There are better mercies and higher hopes than these though your hopes of children or from children should be cut off yet if your eternal hopes be secure and such as shall not make you ashamed you should not be so cast down 2. Answer If God will not have your comfort to lye any more in children then resolve to place them in himself and you shall never find cause to complain of loss by such an exchange You will find that in God which is not to be had in the creature one hours communion with him shall give you that which the happiest Parent never yet had from his children you will exchange brass for gold perishing vanity for solid and abiding excellency 6. Plea But the suddenness of the stroke is amazing God gave little or no warning to prepare for this tryal Death executed its commission as soon as it open'd it My dear Husband Wife or Child was snatcht unexpectedly out of my arms by a surprizing stroke and this makes my stroke heavier than my complaint 1. Answer That the death of your Relation was so sudden and surprizing was much your own fault who ought to have lived in the daily sense of its vanity and expectation of your separation from it you knew it to be a dying comfort in its best estate and it is no such wonderful thing to see that dead which we knew before to be dying Besides you heard the changes ringing round about you in other families you frequently saw other Parents Husbands and Wives carrying forth their dead And what were all these but warnings given you to prepare for the like tryals Surely then it was your own security and regardlesness that made this affliction so surprizing to you and who is to be blamed for that you know 2. Answer There is much difference betwixt the sudden death of infants and that of grown persons The latter may have much work to do many sins actually to repent of and many evidences of their interest in Christ to examine and clear in order to their more comfortable death and so sudden death may be deprecated by them But the case of Infants who exercise not their reason is far different they have no such work to do but are purely passive all that is done in order to their salvation is done by God immediately upon them and so it comes all to one whether their death be more quick or more slow 3. Answer You complain of the suddenness of the stroke but another will be ready to say had my friend died in that manner my affliction had been nothing to what it now is I have seen many deaths contrived into one I saw the gradual approaches of it upon my dear Relation who felt every tread of death as it came on towards him who often cryed with Job Chap. 3. 20. Wherefore is light given to him that is in misery and life to the bitter in soul which long for death but it cometh it not and dig for it more than for hid treasures which rejoyce exceedingly and are glad when they can find the grave That which you reckon the sting of your affliction others would have reckoned a favour and priviledge How many tender Parents and other Relations who loved their friends as dearly as your selves have been forced to their knees upon no other errand but this to beg the Lord to hasten the separation and put an end to that sorrow which to them was much greater than the sorrow for the dead 7. Plea You press me to moderation of sorrows and I know I ought to shew it but you don't know how the case stands with me there 's a sting in this affliction that none feels but my self And oh how intollerable is it now I neglected proper means in season to preserve life or miscarried in the use of means I now see such a neglect or such a mistake about the means as I cannot but judge greatly to contribute to that sad loss which I now too late lament O my negligence O my rashness and inconsiderateness How doth my Conscience now smite me for my folly and by this aggravate my burthen beyond what is usually felt by others Had I seasonably apply'd my self to the use of proper means and kept strictly to such courses and counsels as those that are able and skilful might have prescribed I might have now had a living Husband Wife or Child whereas I am now not only bereaved but am apt to think I have bereaved my self of them Surely there is no sorrow like unto my sorrow 1. Answer Though it be an evil to neglect and slight the means ordained by God for recovery of health yet it 's no less evil to ascribe
inferiour to you in any respect You have one dead child Aaron had two at a stroke Job all at one stroke and both these by an immediate stroke from the hand of God Some godly Parents have lived to see their children dye in their sin by the hand of Justice others have seen them live to the dishonour of God and breaking of their own spirits and would have esteemed it a mercy if they had dyed from the womb and given up the ghost when they came out of the belly as Job speaks In what misery have some Parents seen their children lye God holding them as so many terrible spectacles of misery before their eyes so that they have beg'd the Lord with importunity to let loose his hand and cut them off Death being in their esteem nothing to those continual agonies in which they have seen them lye sweltering from day to day Oh you little know what a bitter cup others have had given them to drink Surely if you compare you must say the Lord hath dealt gently and graciously with you 6. Rule Carefully shun and avoid whatsoever may renue your sorrow or provoke you to impatience Increase not your sorrow by the sight of or discourses about sad objects but labour to avoid them as occasions presented by the enemy of your souls to draw forth the corruptions of your hearts I told you before why Jacob would not have the child of which Rachel dyed called after the name his wife had given Benoni the Son of my sorrow lest it should prove a daily occasion of renuing his trouble for the loss of his dear Wife but he called his name Benjamin Your impatience is like tinder or Gun-powder so long as you can prevent the sparks from falling on it there is no great danger But you that carry such dangerous prepared matter in your own hearts cannot be too careful to prevent them Do by murmuring as you do by blasphemous thoughts think quite another way and give no occasion 7. Rule In the day of your mourning for the death of your friends seriously consider your own death as approaching and that you and your dead are distinguisht but by a small interval and point of time 2 Sam. 12. 23. I shall go to him Surely the thoughts of your own death as approaching also will greatly allay your sorrows for the dead that are gone before you We are apt to fancy a long life in the world and then the loss of those comforts which we promised our selves so much of the sweetness and comfort of our lives from seems an intollerable thing But would you reallize your own deaths more you would not be so deeply concerned for their death as you are Could you but look into your own graves more seriously you would be able to look into your friends grave more composedly And thus I have finished what I designed from this Scripture The Father of mercies and God of all comfort whose sole Prerogative it is to comfort them that are cast down write all his truths upon your hearts that they may abide there and reduce your disorder'd affections to that frame which best suits the will of God and the profession you make of subjection and resignation thereunto FINIS 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Graec Comic * In adolescentia defunctus fuit ideo plus dolendum fuerat quia in flore aetatis suae fuit et cum grandi labore ac solicitudine parentum ad istam aetatem perductus Dion Cath. in loc Mortem levins toleraret si non unicus fuisset si alter qui parentis dolorem leniret superfuisset Ambros. Virgil. Nibil charius unico filio sic dolor de morte ipsius intenfissimus existit Carthus in Loc. Duplici nomine charissimus fuit tum quod esset unigenitus tum quod esset solatium quasi bacūlus viduitatis ipsius Pisc. in Loc. Victurosque dii celant ut vivere durent In eo futurae resurrectionis illustre habemus Specimen Cal. in Loc. Quae ardenter diligimus habita graviter suspiramus amissa Greg. mor. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 * Nec enim pudet sanctos viros postquam renovata corda fuerint per resipiscentiam lapsus sui dedecoris ad dei gloriam meminisse Nihil nobis decedit quod cedit in illius honorem Brightman in Cant. cap. 1. ver 4. pag. 11. Cumque ille nominasset Arcam dei q d. nondum integram sed inchoatam audiens narrationem mente praevolans exitum presagiens ruebat Meneoz in Loc. Tristitia mundi est tristitia secundum mundum quae ex amore mundi nascitur Estius in Loc. * Haec tibi scribo qui tam immodice flevi ut quod minime velim inter exempla sim eorum quos dolor vicit hodie tamen factum meum damno Seneca Ep. 63. p. mihi 637. * In est quidam dulce tristitiae cum occurant sermones eorum jucundi conversatio hilaris officiosa pietas tunc occuli velut in gaudio relaxantur Sen. Ep. 806. Ex eorum more qui luctus sui irritamenta querunt Calv. Nil miserius misero non miser ante seipsum Senecas Epist. p. 84. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 erant amaritudo animi Plut. Moral p. 222. Aequo animo excipenecessaria quam multi post luctum tuum lugent Sen. Ep. 99. Seneca's Ep. 804. Car. in Loc. Habui enim illos tanquam amissurus amisi tanquam habeam Seneca Ep. 63. Melchior Adam in vita Luth. Aug. Ep. 6. Vide English Annotations in Loc. Fulfilling of the Scripture p. 491. M. M. his Appendix to Solomons prescription p. 112. The fullfilling of the Scriptures Quem amabas extulisti quaere quem ames satius est amicum reparare quam flere Seneca's Ep. p. 637. Melchior Adam in vita Lutheri Vide Mr. Baxter's Epistle to the life of Mr. John Janeway Non amittuntur sed praemittuntur Epict. Enchiri Cap. 15.