too much to them or rely too much on them The best means in the world are weak and ineffectual without Gods assistance and concurrence and they never have that his assistance or concurrence when his time is come and that it was fully come in your friends case is manifested now by the event So that if your friend had had the most excellent helps the world affords they would have avail'd nothing This consideration takes place only in your case who see what the will of God is by the issue and may not be pleaded by any whilst it remains dubious and uncertain as it generally doth in time of sickness 2. Answer Do you not unjustly charge and fault your selves for that which is not really your fault or neglect How far you are chargeable in this case will best appear by comparing the circumstances you are now in with those you were in when your Relation was only arrested by sickness and it was dubious to you what was your duty and best course to take Possibly you had observed so many to perish in Physitians hands and so many to recover without them that you judged it safer for your friend to be without those means than to be hazarded by them Or if diverse methods and courses were prescribed and perswaded to and you now see your error in preferring that which was most improper and neglecting what was more safe and probable yet as long as it did not so appear to your understanding at that time but you followed the best light you had to guide you at that time it were most unjust to charge the fault upon your selves for chusing that course that then seemed best to you whether it were so in it self or not To be angry with your selves for doing or omâ—tâ—ing what was then done or omitted according to your best discretion and judgment because you now see it by the light of the event far otherwise than you did before is to be troubled that you are but men or that you are not as God who only can foresee Issues and events and that you acted as all rational creatures are bound to do according to the best light they have at the time and season of action 3. Answer To conclude times of great affliction are ordinarily times of great temptation and it 's usual with Satan then to charge us with more sins than we are really guilty of and also to make those things seem to be sins which upon impartial examination will not be found to be so Indeed had your neglect or miscarriage been knowing and voluntary or had you really prefer'd a little money being able to give it before the life of your Relation so that you did deliberatly chuse to hazard this rather than part with that no doubt then but there had been much evil of sin mixed with your affliction and your Conscience may justly smite you for it as your sin But in the other case which is more common and I presume yours it 's a false charge and you ought not to abet the design of Satan in it Judg by the sorrow you now feel for your friend in what degree he was dear to you and what you could now be content to give to ransom his life if it could be done with money Judg I say by this how groundless the charge is that Satan now draws up against you and you are but too ready to yeild to the truth of it 8. Plea But my troubles are upon a higher score and account My child or friend is passed into Eternity and I know not how it is with its soul. Were I sure that my Relation were with Christ I should be quiet but the fears of the contrary are overwhelming O it 's terrible to think of the damnation of one so dear to me 1. Answer Admit what the objection supposes that you have real grounds to fear the eternal condition of your dear Relation yet it 's utterly unbeseeming you even in such a case as this to dispute with or repine against the Lord. I do confess it 's a sore and heavy tryal and that there is no case more sad and sinking to the spirit of a gracious person Their death is but a trifle to this but yet if you be such as fear the Lord methinks his indisputable Soveraignty over them and his distinguishing love and mercy to you should at least silence you in this matter First His indisputable Soveraignty over them Rom. 9. 20. Who art thou O man that disputest with God He speaks it in the matters of eternal election and reprobation What if the Lord will not be gracious to those that are so dear to us Is there any wrong done to them or us thereby Aarons two Sons were cut off in an act of sin by the Lords immediate hand and yet he held his peace Levit. 10. 3. God told Abraham plainly that the Covenant should not be established with Ishmael for whom he so earnestly pray'd O let Ishmael live before thee and he knew that there was no salvation out of the Covenant and yet he sits down silent under the word of the Lord. Secondly But if this do not quiet you yet methinks his distinguishing love and mercy to you should do it O what do you owe to God that root and branch had not been cast together into the fire that the Lord hath given you good hope through grace that it shall be well with you for ever Let this stop your mouth and quiet your spirit though you should have grounds for this fear 2. Answer But pray examine the grounds of your fear whether it may not proceed from the strength of your affections to the eternal welfare of your friend or from the subtilty of Satan designing hereby to over-whelm and swallow you up in sorrow as well as from just grounds and causes In two cases it 's very probable your fear may proceed only from your own affection or Satans temptation First If your Relation died young before it did any thing to destroy your hopes Or Secondly If grown and in some good degree hopeful only he did not in life or at death manifest and give evidence of grace with that clearness as you desired As to the case of Infants in general it 's none of our concern to judg their condition and as for those that sprang from Covenanted parents it becomes us to exercise Charity towards them the Scripture speaks very favourably of them And as for the more adult who have escaped the polutions of the world and made Conscience of sin and duty albeit they never manifested what you could desire they had yet in them as in young Abijah may be found some good thing towards the Lord which you never took notice of Reverence of your authority bashfulness and shamefac'dness reservedness of disposition and many other things may hide those small and weak beginnings of grace that are in children from the observations of the Parents God might see
of their happiness which returns and remains with them and therefore it can be no such priviledge to them And for their Relations though it be some comfort to receive them again from the dead yet the consideration that they are returned to them into the stormy Sea to partake of new sorrows and troubles from which they were lately free and in a short time they must part with them again and feel the double sorrows of a parting pull which others feel but once surely such a particular Resurrection considered in it self is no such ground of comfort as at first we might imagine it to be It remains then that the ground of all solid Comfort and reliefe against the death of our Relations lyes in the General and last Resurrection and what is in a particular one is but as it is a Specimen and evidence of the general and there the Apostle places our relief 1 Thes. 4. 17. that we shall see enjoy them again at the Lords coming And surely this is more than if with this Mother in the Text we should presently receive them from the dead as she did her Son And if we judge not so it is because our hearts are carnal and measure things rather by time and sense than by faith and eternity Thus you see the Councel with its ground which for the most part is common to other Christian mourners with her the difference being but inconsiderable and of little advantage Here then you find many aggravations of sorrow meeting together A Son an only Son is carrying to the grave yet Christ commands the pensive Mother not to Mourn Hence we note Doct. That Christians ought to moderate their Sorrows for their dead Relations how many afflicting circumstances and aggravations soever do meet together in their Death It is as common with men yea with good men to exceed in their sorrows for dead Relations as it is to exceed in their loves and delights to living Relations and both of the one and other we may say as they say of waters It 's hard to confine them within their bounds It is therefore grave advice which the Apostle delivers in this case 1 Cor. 7. 29 30 But this I say Brethren the time is short It remaineth that both they that have Wives be as though they had none and they that weep as though they wept not and those that rejoyce as though they rejoyced not As if he had said the floating world is near its port God hath contracted the sailes of mans life it s but a point of time we have to live and shortly it will not be a point to choose whether we had wives or not children or not all these are time-eaten things and before the expected fruit of these comforts be ripe we our selves may be rotten It s therefore an high point of Wisdom to look upon things which shortly will not be as if already they were not and to behave our selves in the loss of these carnal enjoyments as the natural man behaves himself in the use of spiritual Ordinances He hears as if he heard not and we should weep as if we wept not Their affections are a little moved sometimes by spiritual things but they never lay them so to heart as to be broken hearted for the sin they hear of or deeply affected with the glory revealed We also ought to be sensible of the stroke God upon our dear Relations but yet still we must weep as if we wept not that is we must keep due bounds and moderation in our sorrows and not be too deeply concerned for these dying short-liv'd things To this purpose the Apostle exhorts Heb. 12. 5 My Son despise not the chastening of the Lord neither faint when thou art rebuked of him These are two extreams despising and fainting when God is correcting to say I do not regard it let God take all if he will if my estate must go let it go if my children dy let them dye this is to despise the Lords chastening and God cannot bear it that we should bear it thus lightly There is also another extream and that is Fainting if when goods are taken away the heart be taken away and when children dye then the spirit of the Parent dyes also this is fainting under the rod. Thou lamentest saith Seneca thy deceased friend but I would not have thee grieve beyond what is meet That thou shouldst not grieve at all I dare not require thee tears may be excused if they do not exceed Let thine eyes therefore be neither wholly dry nor yet let them overflow Weep thou maist but Wayle thou must not Happy man that still keeps the golden bridle of moderation upon his passions and affections and still keeps the possession of himself whatsoever he looseth the possession of Now the the method in which I purpose to proceed shall be 1. To discover the Signes of immoderate Sorrow 2. To disswade from the sin of immoderate Sorrow 3. To remove the pleas of immoderate Sorrow 4. To propose the cure of immoderate Sorrow First I shall give you the Signs of immoderate Sorrow and shew you when it exceeds its bounds and becomes sinful even a sorrow to be sorrowed for and for clearness sake I will first allow what may be allowed to the Christian mourner and then you will the better discern wherein the excesse and sinfulness of your sorrow lyes And First How much soever we censure and condemn immoderate Sorrow yet the afflicted must be allowed an awakened and tender sense of the Lords afflicting hand upon them It s no virtue to bear what we do not feel Yea it is a most unbecoming temper not to tremble when God is smiting The Lord faith to Moses in the case of Miriam Num. 12. 24. If her Father had spit in her face should she not be ashamed seven days The face is the Table and Seat of beauty and honour but when it is spit upon it 's made the sink of shame Had her own Father spit upon her face when she had displeased him Would she not have gone aside as one ashamed by such a rebuke and not have shew'd her face to him again in seven days How much more should she take it to heart and be sensible of this rebuke of mine who have fill'd her face with Leprous spots the signs of my displeasure against her Surely God will be ashamed of those that are not ashamed when he rebukes them It is not magnanimity but stupidity to make light of Gods corrections and for this the afflicted are smartly taxed Jer. 5. 3. I have smitten them but they have not grieved When God smote Job in his person children and estate he arose and rent his mantle and put dust upon his head to shew he was not senseless and unaffected and yet blessed the afflicting God which as plainly shew'd he was not contumacious and unsubmissive Secondly We must allow the mourning afflicted soul a due and comely
more nor see his native Country And is there not a dreadful sound of troubles now in our ears Do not the clouds gather blackness Surely all things round about us seem to be preparing and disposing themselves for affliction The dayes may be nigh in which you shall say Blessed is the womb that never bare and the paps that never gave suck It was in the day wherein the faith and patience of the Saints were exercised that John heard a voice from heaven saying to him Write Blessed are the dead which dye in the Lord from benceforth Thy friend hy an Act of favour is disbanded by death whilst thou thy self art left to endure a great fight of affliction And now if troubles come thy cares and fears will be so much the less and thy own death so much the easier to thee when so much of thee is in heaven already In this case the Lord by a mercifull dispensation is providing both for their safety and thy own easier passage to them In removing thy friends before hand he seems to say to thee as he did to Peter Joh. 13. 7. What I do thou knowest not now but hereafter thou shalt know it The eye of Providence hath a prospect far beyond thine it would be in probability an harder task for thee to leave them behind than to follow them A tree that 's deeply rooted in the earth requires many strokes to fell it but when its roots are loosned before hand then an easie stroke layes it down upon the earth 6. Consid. A parting time must needs come and why is not this as good as another You knew before hand your child or friend was mortal and that the thred that linked you together must be cut If any one saith Basil had asked you when your child was born What is that which is born What would you have answered Would you not have said it is a man and if a man than a Mortal vanishing thing And why then are you surprized with wonder to see a dying thing dead He saith Seneca who complaines that one is dead complains that he was a man All men are under the same condition to whose share it falls to be born to him it remains to dye We are indeed distinguisht by intervalls but equalized in the Issue It is appointed to all men once to dye Heb. 9. 27. There is a statute Law of heaven in the case Possibly you think this is the worst time for parting that could be had you enjoyed it longer you could have parted easier but how are you deceiv'd in that The longer you had enjoyed it the lother still you would have been to leave it the deeper it would have rooted it self in your affection Had God given you such a priviledge as was once granted to the English Parliament that the union betwixt you and your friend should not be dissolved till you your self were willing it should be dissolved When think you would you have been willing it should be dissolved It s well for us and ours that our times are in Gods hand not in our own And how immature soever it seemed to be when it was cut down yet it came to the grave in a full age as a shock of corn in its season Job 5. 26. They that are in Christ and in the Covenant never dye unseasonably whensoever they dye Saith one upon the Text They dye in a good old age yea though they dye in the spring and flower of youth they dye in a good old age i. e. They are ripe for death when ever they dye When ever the godly dye its harvest time with him though in a natural capacity he be cut down while he is green and cropt in the bud or blossom yet in his spiritual capacity he never dyes before he is ripe God can ripen his speedily he can let out such warm rayes and beams of his spirit upon them as shall soon maturate the seeds of grace into a preparedness for glory It was doubtless the most fit and seasonable time for them that ever they could dye in and as it is a fit time for them so for you also Had it lived longer it might either have engaged you more and so your parting would have been harder or else have puzled and stumbled you more by discovering its natural corruption And then what a stinging aggravation of your sorrow would that have been Surely the Lord of time is the best Judge of time and in nothing do we more discover our folly and rashness then in presuming to fix the times either of our comforts or troubles as to our comforts we never think they can come to soon we would have them presently whether the season be fit or not as Numb 12. 13. Heal her now Lord. O let it be done speedily we are in post hast for our comforts and as for our afflictions we never think they come late enough not at this time Lord rather at any other time than now But it s good to leave the timing both of the one and other to him whose works are all beautiful in their seasons and never doth any thing in an improper time 7. Consid. Call to mind in this day of trouble the Covenant you have made with God and what you solemnly promised him in the day you took him for your God It will be very seasonable and useful for thee Christian at this time to reflect upon those transactions and the frame of thy heart in those dayes when an heavier load of Sorrow prest thy heart than thou now feelest In those your spiritual distresses when the burthen of sin lay heavy the curse of the Law the fear of hell the dread of death and eternity beset thee on every side and shut thee up to Christ the only door of hope Ah what good news wouldst thou then have accounted it to escape that danger with the loss of all earthly comforts Was not this thy cry in those dayes Lord give me Christ and deny me what ever else thou pleasest Pardon my sin save my soul and in order to both unite me with Christ and I will never repine or open my mouth Do what thou wilt with me let me be friendless let me be childless let me be poor let me be any thing rather than a Christless graceless hopeless soul. And when the Lord hearkned to thy cry and shewed thee mercy when he drew thee off from the world into thy closet and there treated with thee in secret when he was working up thy heart to the terms of his Covenant and made thee willing to accept Christ upon his own terms O then how heartily didst thou submit to his yoak as most reasonable and easie as at that time it seemed to thee Call to mind these dayes the secret places where Christ and you made the bargain Have not these words or words to this sense been whispered by thee into his ear with a dropping eye and melting heart
Lord Jesus here am I a poor guilty sinner deeply laden with sin fear and trouble upon one hand and there is a just God a severe Law and everlasting burnings on the other hand but blessed be God O blessed be God for Jesus the Mediator who interposeth betwixt me and it Thou art the only door of hope at which I can escape thy blood the only means of my pardon and salvation Thou hast said Come unto me all ye that Labor and are heavy Laden Thou hast promised that he that cometh to thee shall in no wise be cast out Blessed Jesus thy poor creature cometh to thee upon these encouragements I come O but it is with many staggerings with many doubts and fears of the Issue yet I am willing to come and make a Covenant with thee this day I take thee this day to be my Lord and submit heartily to all thy disposals Do what thou wilt with me or with mine let me be rich or poor any thing or nothing in this world I am willing to be as thou wouldst have me And I do likewise give my self to thee this day to be thine all I am all I have shall be thine thine to serve thee and thine to be disposed at thy pleasure Thou shalt henceforth be my highest Lord my chiefest good my last end Now Christian make good to Christ what thou so solemnly promisedst him He I say He hath disposed of this thy dear Relation as pleased him and is thereby trying thy uprightness in the Covenant which thou madest with him Now where is the satisfaction and content thou promisedst to take in all his disposals Where is that Covenanted submission to his Will Didst thou except this affliction that is come upon thee Didst tell him Lord I will be content thou shalt when thou pleasest take any thing I have save only this Husband this Wife or this dear child I reserve this out of the bargain I shall never endure that thou shouldst kill this comfort If so thou didst in all this but prove thy self an hypocrite If thou wast sincere in thy Covenant as Christ had no reserves on his part so thou hadst none on thine It was all without any exception thou then resignedst to him and now wilt thou go back from thy word as one that had out promised himself and repents the bargain Or at least as one that hath forgotten these solemn transactions in the dayes of thy distress Wherein hath Christ failed in one tittle that he promised thee Charge him if thou canst with the least unfaithfulness He hath been faithful to a tittle on his part O be thou so upon thine this day its put to the proof remember what thou hast promised him 8. Consid. But if thy Covenant with God will not quiet thee yet methinks Gods Covenant with thee might be presumed to do it Is thy family which was lately hopeful and flourishing a peaceful Tabernacle now broken up and scattered Thy posterity from which thou raisedst up to thy self great expectations of comfort in old age cut off So that thou art now like neither to have a name or memorial left thee in the earth Dost thou sit alone and mourn to think whitherto thy hopes and comforts are now come Dost read over these words of Job Chap. 29. 1 2 3 4 5. and comment upon them with many tears O that I were as in months past as in the day when God preserved me when his candle shined upon my head and when by his light I walked through darkness As I was in the dayes of my youth when the secret of God was upon my Tabernacle when the Almighty was yet with me when my children were about me Yet let the Covenant God hath made with thee comfort thee in this thy desolate condition You know what domestick troubles holy David met with in a sad succession not only from the death of children but which was much worse from the wicked lives of his children There was Incest Murder and Rebellion in his Family a far sorer tryal than death in their infancy could have been And yet see how sweetly he relieves himself from the Covenant of grace in 2 Sam. 23. 5. Although my house be not so with God yet he hath made with me an everlasting Covenant ordered in all things and sure for this is all my salvation and my desire although he make it not to grow I know this place principally refers to Christ who was to spring out of Davids Family according to Gods Covenant made with him in that behalf And yet I doubt not but it hath another though less principal aspect upon his own family over all the afflictions and troubles whereof the Covenant of God with him did abundantly comfort him And as it comforted him although his house did not increase and those that were left were not such as he desired So it may abundantly comfort you also whatever troubles or deaths be upon your families who have an interest in the Covenant For First If you be Gods Covenant people though he may afflict yet he will never forget you Psal. 3. 5. He is ever mindful of his Covenant You are as much upon his heart in your deepest afflictions as in the greatest flourish of your prosperity You find it hard to forget your child though it be now turned to an heap of corruption and loathsome rottenness O how doth your mind run upon it night and day your thoughts tire not upon that object Why surely its much more easie for you to forget your dear child whilst living and most endearing much more when dead and undesireable than it is for your God to forget you Isa. 49. 15. Can a woman forget her sucking child that she should not have compassion upon the son of her womb Yea they may forget yet will not I forget thee Can a woman the more affectionate sex forget her sucking child her own child and not a nursing child her own child whilst it hangs on the brest and together with the milk from the breast draws love from its mothers heart Can such a thing as this be in nature Possibly it may for creature love is fickle and variable But I will not forget thee it s an everlasting Covenant Secondly As he will never forget you in your troubles so he will order all your troubles for your good It s a well ordered Covenant or a Covenant orderly disposed So that every thing shall work together for your good The Covenant so orders all your tryals ranks and disposes your various troubles so as that they shall in their orders and places sweetly co-operate and joyn their united influences to make you happy Possibly you can't see how the present affliction should be for your good you are ready to say with Jacob Gen. 42. 36. Joseph is not and Simeon is not and ye will take Benjamin away all these things are against me But could you once see how sweetly and orderly all these afflictions
God Do this saith he and he will curse thee to thy face What the Psalmist observes of natural is as true of metaphorical darkness Psal. 104. 20. Thou makest darkness and it is night wherein all the beasts of the forest do creep forth the young Lions roar after their prey When its dark night with men its noon-day with Satan i. e. our suffering time is his busiest working time many a dismal suggestion he then plants and grafts upon our affliction which are much more dangerous to us than the affliction it self Sometimes he injects desponding thoughts into the afflicted soul. Then said I I am cut off from before thine eyes Psal. 31. 22. Lam. 3. 18 19. My hope is perished from the Lord remembring my affliction and my misery the wormwood and the gall Sometimes he suggests hard thoughts of God Ruth 1. 20. The Lord hath dealt very bitterly with me Yea that he hath dealt more severely with us than any other Lam. 1. 12. See and behold if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow which is done unto me wherewith the Lord hath afflicted me in the day of his fierce anger And sometimes murmuring and repining thoughts against the Lord the soul is displeased at the hand of God upon it Jonah was angry at the hand of God and said I do well to be angry even unto death Jonah 4. 9. What dismal thoughts are these And how much more afflictive to a gracious soul than the loss of any outward enjoyment in this world And sometimes very irreligious and Atheistical thoughts as if there were no priviledge to be had by Religion and all our pains zeal and care about Duty were little better than lost labour Psal. 73. 13 14. Verily I have cleansed my heart in vain and washed my hands in innocency for all the day long I have been plagued and chastened every morning By these things Satan gets no small advantage upon the afflicted Christian for albeit these thoughts are his burthen and God will not impute them to the condemnation of his people yet they rob the soul of peace and hinder it from duty and make it act uncomely under affliction to the stumbling and hardening of others in their sin beware therefore lest by your excesses of sorrow ye give place to the Devil we are not ignorant of his devices 15. Consid. Give not way to excessive sorrows upon the account of affliction if ye have any regard to the honour of God and Religion which will thereby be exposed to reproach If you slight your own honour don't slight the honour of God and Religion too Take heed how you carry it in a day of trouble many eyes are upon you It is a true observation that a late worthy Author hath made upon this case What will the Atheist and what will the prophane scoffer say when they shall see this So sottish and malicious they are that if they do but see you in affliction they are straightway scornefully demanding Where is your God But what will they say if they should hear you your selves unbelievingly cry out where is our God Will they not be ready to cry This is the Religion they make such boast of which you see how little it does for them in a day of extremity they talk of promises rich and precious promises but where are they now Or to what purpose do they serve They said they had a treasure in heaven What ails them to mourn so then if their Riches be there O beware what you do before the world they have eyes to see what you can do as well as ears to hear what you can say And as long as your carriage under troubles is so much like their own they will never think your principles are better than theirs Carnal worldlings will be drawn to think that whatever fine talk you might have about God and heaven your hearts were most upon the same things that theirs were since your grief for their removal is as great as theirs They know by experience what a stay it is to the heart to have an able faithful friend to depend upon or to have hopes of a great Estate shortly to fall to them and they 'le never be perswaded you have any such ground of comfort if they see you as much cast down as they that pretend to no such matter By this means the precepts of Christ to constancy and contentment in all Estates will come to be lookt upon like those of the Stoicks only as magnifica verba brave words but such as are impossible to be practised and the whole of the Gospel will be taken for an airey notion since they that profess greatest regard to it are no more helpt thereby O What a shame is it that Religion should in this case make no more difference betwixt man and man Wherefore shew to the world whatever their common censures are that it is not so much your care to differ from them in some opinions and little strictness as in humility meekness contempt of the world and heavenly mindedness and now let these graces display themselves by your chearful patient deportment under all your grievances Wherefore hath God planted those excellent graces in your souls but that he might be glorified and you benefited by the exercises of them in tribulation Should these be supprest and hid and nothing but the pride passion and unmortified earthliness of your hearts set on work and discovered in time of trouble what a slur what a wound will you give to the glorious name which is call'd upon by you And then if your hearts be truly gracious that will pierce you deeper than ever your affliction which occasioned it did I beseech you therefore be tender of the name of God if you will not be so of your own peace and comfort 16. Consid. Be quiet and hold your peace you little know how many mercies lye in the womb of this sharp affliction Great are the benefits of a sharp rouzing affliction to the people of God at sometimes and all might have them at all times were they more careful to improve them Holy David thankfully acknowledgeth Psal. 119. 71. It is good for me that I have been afflicted And surely there 's as much good in them for you as for him if the Lord sanctifie them to such ends and uses as his were sanctified unto Such a smarting rod as this came not before there was need enough of it and possibly you saw the need of some awaking providence your selves but if not the Lord did he took not up the rod to smite you till his faithfulness and tender love to your souls called upon him to correct you You now sit pensive under the rod sadly lamenting and deploring the loss of some earthly comfort your heart is surcharged with sorrow your eyes run down upon every mention and remembrance of your dear friend Why if there were no more this alone may discover the need you had of
and preventing these sinful excesses of sorrow for the death of our dear Relations And although much hath been said already to disswade from this evil and I have enlarged already much beyond my first intention yet I shall cast in some farther help and assistance towards the healing of this distemper by prescribing the following Rules 1. Rule If you would not mourn excessively for the loss of creature-comforts then beware that you set not your delight and love excessively or inordinately upon them whilst you enjoy them Strong affections make strong afflictions the higher the Tyde the lower the Ebb. According to the measure of our delight in the enjoyment is our grief in the loss of these things The Apostle knits these two graces Temperance and Patience together in the Precept 2 Pet. 1. 16. And it 's very observable how Intemperance and Impatience are inseparably linked in experience yea the experience of the best men You read Gen. 37. 3. How Israel loved Joseph more than all his children because he was the son of his old age and he made him a coat of many colours This was the darling Jacobs heart was exceedingly set upon him his very life was bound up in the life of the Lad. Now when the supposed death of this child was brought to him How did he carry it See Ver. 34 35. And Jacob rent his cloaths and put sackcloth upon his loins and mourned for his Son many days And all his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him but he refused to be comforted and he said for I will go down into the grave to my Son mourning Thus his Father wept for him Here as in a glass the effects of excessive love to a child are represented Here you may see what work immoderate love will make even in a sanctified heart O therefore let your moderation be known to all men in your delights and sorrows about earthly things for ordinarily the proportion of the one is answerable to the other 2. Rule If you would not be overwhelmed with grief for the loss of your Relations be exact and careful in discharging your duties to them while you have them The testimony of your Conscience that you have laboured in all things to discharge the duties you owed to your Relations whilst they were with you will prove an excellent allay to your sorrows for them when they are no longer yours 'T is not so much the single affliction as the guilt charged upon us in times of affliction that makes our load so heavy O what a terrible thing is it to look upon our dead whilst Conscience is accusing and upbraiding us for our duties neglected and such or such sins committed O you little think how dreadful a spectacle this will make the dead body of thy friend to thee Conscience if not quite stupid or dead will speak at such a time O therefore as ever you would provide for a comfortable parting at death or meet again at Judgment be exact punctual and circumspect in all your relative duties 3. Rule If you would not be overwhelmed by trouble for the loss of your Relations then turn to God under your trouble and pour out your sorrows by prayer into his bosom This will ease and allay your troubles Blessed be God for the ordinance of prayer How much are all the Saints beholding to it at all times but especially in heart sinking and distressful times It 's some relief when in distress we can pour out our trouble into the bosom of a Wife or faithful Friend How much more when we leave our complaint before the gracious wise and faithful God I told you before of that holy man who having lost his dear and only Son got to his Closet there poured out his soul freely to the Lord and when he came down to his friends that were waiting below to comfort him and fearing how he would bear that stroke he came from his duty with a chearful countenance telling them he would be content to bury a Son if it were possible every day provided he might but enjoy such comfort as his soul had found in that private hour Go thy way Christian to thy God get thee to thy knees in the cloudy and dark day retire from all Creatures that thou mayst have thy full liberty with thy God and there pour out thy heart before him in free full and broken-hearted confessions of sin Judge thy self worthy of Hell as well as of this trouble Justifie God in all his smartest strokes beg him in this distress to put under thee the evering arms intreat one smile one gracious look to inlighten thy darkness and chear thy drooping spirit Say with the Prophet Jer. 17. 17 Be not then a terrour to me thou art my hope in the day of evil And try what relief such a course will afford thee Surely if thy heart be sincere in this course thou shalt be able to say with that holy man Psal. 94. 19. In the multitude of my thoughts which I had within me thy comforts have delighted my soul. 4. Rule If you would bear the loss of your dear Relations with moderation eye God in the whole process of the affliction more and secondary causes and circumstances of the matter less I was dumb I opened not my mouth because thou didst it Psal. 39. 9. Consider the hand of the Lord in the whole matter And that First As a Soveraign hand which hath right to dispose of thee and all thy comforts without thy leave or consent Job 33. 13. Secondly As a Fathers hand correcting thee in love and faithfulness Prov. 3. 11. Whom the Lord loveth he correcteth as a Father the Son in whom he delighteth O if once you could but see affliction as a rod in a Fathers hand as proceeding from his love and intended for your eternal good How quiet would you then be And surely if it draw your heart nearer to God and mortifie it more to this vain world it is a rod in the hand of special love If it end in your love to God doubt not but it comes from Gods love to you Thirdly As a just and righteous hand Hast thou not procured this to thy self by thy own folly Yea the Lord is just in all that is come upon thee Whatever he hath done yet he hath done thee no wrong Fourthly Lastly As a moderate and merciful hand that hath punished thee less than thine iniquities deserve he hath cast thee into affliction he might justly have cast thee into Hell It 's of the Lords mercy that thou art not consumed Why doth the living man complain 5. Rule If you would bear your affliction with moderation compare it with the affliction of other men and that will greatly quiet your spirits You have no cause to say God hath dealt bitterly with you and that there is no sorrow like your sorrow Look round about you and impartially consider the conditions that others are in and they nothing
inferiour to you in any respect You have one dead child Aaron had two at a stroke Job all at one stroke and both these by an immediate stroke from the hand of God Some godly Parents have lived to see their children dye in their sin by the hand of Justice others have seen them live to the dishonour of God and breaking of their own spirits and would have esteemed it a mercy if they had dyed from the womb and given up the ghost when they came out of the belly as Job speaks In what misery have some Parents seen their children lye God holding them as so many terrible spectacles of misery before their eyes so that they have beg'd the Lord with importunity to let loose his hand and cut them off Death being in their esteem nothing to those continual agonies in which they have seen them lye sweltering from day to day Oh you little know what a bitter cup others have had given them to drink Surely if you compare you must say the Lord hath dealt gently and graciously with you 6. Rule Carefully shun and avoid whatsoever may renue your sorrow or provoke you to impatience Increase not your sorrow by the sight of or discourses about sad objects but labour to avoid them as occasions presented by the enemy of your souls to draw forth the corruptions of your hearts I told you before why Jacob would not have the child of which Rachel dyed called after the name his wife had given Benoni the Son of my sorrow lest it should prove a daily occasion of renuing his trouble for the loss of his dear Wife but he called his name Benjamin Your impatience is like tinder or Gun-powder so long as you can prevent the sparks from falling on it there is no great danger But you that carry such dangerous prepared matter in your own hearts cannot be too careful to prevent them Do by murmuring as you do by blasphemous thoughts think quite another way and give no occasion 7. Rule In the day of your mourning for the death of your friends seriously consider your own death as approaching and that you and your dead are distinguisht but by a small interval and point of time 2 Sam. 12. 23. I shall go to him Surely the thoughts of your own death as approaching also will greatly allay your sorrows for the dead that are gone before you We are apt to fancy a long life in the world and then the loss of those comforts which we promised our selves so much of the sweetness and comfort of our lives from seems an intollerable thing But would you reallize your own deaths more you would not be so deeply concerned for their death as you are Could you but look into your own graves more seriously you would be able to look into your friends grave more composedly And thus I have finished what I designed from this Scripture The Father of mercies and God of all comfort whose sole Prerogative it is to comfort them that are cast down write all his truths upon your hearts that they may abide there and reduce your disorder'd affections to that frame which best suits the will of God and the profession you make of subjection and resignation thereunto FINIS 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Graec Comic * In adolescentia defunctus fuit ideo plus dolendum fuerat quia in flore aetatis suae fuit et cum grandi labore ac solicitudine parentum ad istam aetatem perductus Dion Cath. in loc Mortem levins toleraret si non unicus fuisset si alter qui parentis dolorem leniret superfuisset Ambros. Virgil. Nibil charius unico filio sic dolor de morte ipsius intenfissimus existit Carthus in Loc. Duplici nomine charissimus fuit tum quod esset unigenitus tum quod esset solatium quasi bacūlus viduitatis ipsius Pisc. in Loc. Victurosque dii celant ut vivere durent In eo futurae resurrectionis illustre habemus Specimen Cal. in Loc. Quae ardenter diligimus habita graviter suspiramus amissa Greg. mor. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 * Nec enim pudet sanctos viros postquam renovata corda fuerint per resipiscentiam lapsus sui dedecoris ad dei gloriam meminisse Nihil nobis decedit quod cedit in illius honorem Brightman in Cant. cap. 1. ver 4. pag. 11. Cumque ille nominasset Arcam dei q d. nondum integram sed inchoatam audiens narrationem mente praevolans exitum presagiens ruebat Meneoz in Loc. Tristitia mundi est tristitia secundum mundum quae ex amore mundi nascitur Estius in Loc. * Haec tibi scribo qui tam immodice flevi ut quod minime velim inter exempla sim eorum quos dolor vicit hodie tamen factum meum damno Seneca Ep. 63. p. mihi 637. * In est quidam dulce tristitiae cum occurant sermones eorum jucundi conversatio hilaris officiosa pietas tunc occuli velut in gaudio relaxantur Sen. Ep. 806. Ex eorum more qui luctus sui irritamenta querunt Calv. Nil miserius misero non miser ante seipsum Senecas Epist. p. 84. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 erant amaritudo animi Plut. Moral p. 222. Aequo animo excipenecessaria quam multi post luctum tuum lugent Sen. Ep. 99. Seneca's Ep. 804. Car. in Loc. Habui enim illos tanquam amissurus amisi tanquam habeam Seneca Ep. 63. Melchior Adam in vita Luth. Aug. Ep. 6. Vide English Annotations in Loc. Fulfilling of the Scripture p. 491. M. M. his Appendix to Solomons prescription p. 112. The fullfilling of the Scriptures Quem amabas extulisti quaere quem ames satius est amicum reparare quam flere Seneca's Ep. p. 637. Melchior Adam in vita Lutheri Vide Mr. Baxter's Epistle to the life of Mr. John Janeway Non amittuntur sed praemittuntur Epict. Enchiri Cap. 15.