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A92438 The noble pamphlet, or, a pigs head and a poppet-play, provided for the rebels at Westminster, against this Bartholmew Faire: a rattle for the foole Fairfax, halfe a bushell of nuts for the synod to crack, a new godly ballad for the saints of the army, and a paire of sharp knives for the city. By the author of the winding sheet. R. B., attributed name. 1648 (1648) Wing R99B; Thomason E460_30; ESTC R205132 4,777 8

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THE NOBLE PAMPHLET Or a PIGS HEAD and a POPPET-PLAY Provided for the Rebels at WESTMINSTER against this Bartholmew Faire A Rattle for the Foole Fairfax halfe a bushell of Nuts for the Synod to crack a new godly ballad for the Saints of the Army and a paire of sharp knives for the City By the Author of the winding sheet Draw back this leaf and see discover'd That which all this while hath hover'd Behind a cloud here read and see The Iuntos covert Treachery Fairfax his frauds the Synods guile The Army's purpose all this while The Cities madnesse see in short All this and thank the Author for● Printed in the yeere 1648. A Pigges-Head and A POPPET-PLAY Provided for the PARLIAMENT against this Bartholmew Faire PArdon ye Rebels of either house I aske you forgivenesse ere I cut your throats doe you not wonder at it I le tell you I intend to hang you in effigie till the wisht for time arrive that the substance supply the shaddow and esteeming it no disparagement to my function to bee your executioner I observe the heads-mans custome for forme sake and superficially crave your remission Thus doe I kneele thus beg ô cruel Turkes Who defie Pluto yet doe all his workes Most zealous Rebels whom the whole world curses The blest Reformers of our plate and purses Geneva-Goblins sent to fright our soules And quaffe our purple blood in mazor bowles Who love your Prince so well you wish him dead That so a wreath of start might deck his head I do obsecrate you yee fiend in clay No crimes upon my innocence to lay Not to bee angry though J call you kna●es Cheaters and murtherers villains and slaves Not to be mov'd with ire you know that I Am but the instrument of Destin●● You had a plot upon the Poppets that should have adorned St. James his faire but it took not for the tap-houses were erected the mutton-mongers resorted the Curtezans were jumbled the good fellowes tipled and the Oxe was roasted cum privilegio t is faire time with you all the yeer long and therefore no marvell if you envy all others profits but I hope you will permit your associates of the beloved City to make their mercats this next Bartholmew Faire you know the matter is between you and them as betweene the letcher and his whore what he put in at the mouth goes out at the so what they gaine by their trades inricheth your purses I have a strong faith that you will shut up shop 〈◊〉 Westminster for one day and having laid aside the grand affaires of cheating and murthering the people spend some certaine houres in recreation I am of the opinion that it will much solace your tired spirits whet your wits to invent strange and unheard of stratagems and quicken your greedy desire of rule I am confident you will come and in certaine assurance thereof have provided you a Piggs head and a Poppet-play heark in your ears 'T is a Pig of one of these sowes into whom your patron Pluto got when he hurried a whole heard violently into the sea it shall be roasted before the hot fire of Ambition turned about by the Scismatick Sedition basted by the Patriarck Hypocrisie the sawce shall be prepared by the fat cook Sacriledge it shall be usherd by the grave verger Policy and serv'd up by a penitent Skelleton called Too late to Repent after you have sufficiently eaten to your content I have devized a Poppet play t is thus The Sceane is England the Actors are all Parliament-men you may know them by their robes and the fearfull characters written in their faces they are attended by whole troopes of Committee-Cannibals Excise-men Messengers or Pettifoggers Rogues and R●scals their 〈◊〉 will be to work upon the giddy spirits of the people and to inveigh their floating braines that the present Government burthensome Aristocraticall cruell and tyrannous they will underhand deale with them by their agents earnestly to petition that failing to threaten the ruine of their King and his posterity unlesse he presently yeeld his assent for the satisfaction of their desires the King beholding the evils of their intents for the preservation of his own his Queen and childrens lives leaves his chief Metropolis and betakes himself to a place of safety his Parliament inwardly glad at his departure petition the people to petition them that the Government of the Church be alter'd that a most incomparable Statesman and a most unworthy pillar of the Church be put to death which is performed the one prophesieth and the other preacheth at the scaffold or place of execution this bloody businesse over they proceed to take away the fundamentall lawes of the land Root and branch their King perceiving their treacheries declareth against them dubbing them with the due epithites of Rebels and Traytors the people deluded by their pretences crie up their cause as the cause of Gods Armies are by them immodiately levied a cuckoldly Lord chosen for their General and all the land turned into a confusion their pious Prince constrained thereto for his own safety raiseth forces to oppose them the chief gentry of the land side with them he fights with the Rebels for the space of seven yeares to the exceeding decay of his people and to his great grief of Soule yet at last might according to the proverb overcomes right he is totally subdued and forced to flie for shelter amongst his owne Countreymen they unworthily desert him and return him into his enemies hand for money they clap him up close prisoner and like base villaines make a mock at his misery he is beaten and receiveth a black eye of his jailor a slave whom ere this play conclude I present unto you torne to pieces by dogs in the meane time the earth is made drunke with the blood of Innocents prodigally shed by command of the Rebels all order and discipline is taken away the ministers of God are murthered and silenced and mechanick Scums viz. Tailers weavers and mopmakers take upon them the sacred function of the ministery and infect the people with nonsense blasphemy and Treason while the Rebels squeeze out the hearts bloods of the poore Communality by taxations excise contributions loanes plunders and free-quarter and fatten themselves inmischief wallowing in all excesse of riot impoverishing the nation and cramming their own bags till they strut againe and in hope to take away Monarchicall Government and to make themselves 〈◊〉 State they vote they will settle the kingdome without their King neither make any addresses to him or receive any message from him the people perceiving into what a bondage they are brought become as zealous haters as before they were lovers of the Rebels they begin to cogitate the happy dayes they enjoyed under the●r most gracious King and curse themselves that ere they rebelled against him resolving to pull downe these tyrants whom they had advanced and if it be possible to recover their King lost lawes and
liberties they generally rise threatning vengeance against their bloody oppressors who to deferre their punishment vote that they will treat with their King the people see it and laugh at their gullery and perfidious hypocrisie they fetch their King to London with all honour and due respects ceaze on the Rebels and clap them in the dungeon restore their King to his rights and surrender them to the gallowes this is the plot of the play I intend to present you with the Poppets are set on screwes and have their motion by a crabbed fellow called the Crittick observer they are presented by Fame and their severall morions explained by truth How like you this this cannot sure affright you Alas you know I study to delight you I am not without hopes but Tom Fairfax will make a shift to halt to this Faire to make merry with your memberships I have provided the trayterous foole a rattle which I will thus bestow upon him Degenerate villaine perjur'd slave Thou monstrous Asse yet cunning knave Curst in thy mothers womb who brought A fire-brand forth thou that hast sought To strike thy King and nation dead Ore them in triumph for to tread Who with thy sword dost justifie The Rebels in their Treachery Yet at St. Albans once didst sweare To God thy King and all were there For to supplant the Rebels hopes And for to pull out all their props To be the thunderbolt of Fate And Charles thy Lord to re-instate Thy ruine's neere which all shall see Meane time take this forc'd gift of mee Nor are the Synodicall simplicians I hope so Stoicall but they will be pleased also to accompany your grand Rebelships in this invitation come be not nice wee know yee hypocrites that you have fat whores as well as larded benefices and prefer your God belly before the Almighty Iehovah you knew well enough that the outing of the Bishops from their Sees would prove your entrance into wealthy livings while those who formerly injoyed them whose learning and Loyalty pronounceth them worthy of honours and profits wander about the kingdome like forlorne wretches languish in prison or beg their dayly bread of men I have a thing within me whispers you will come against which time I have provided you halfe a bushell of such Nuts as these to crack The first will prove a terror to your teeth t is this whether or no th●r●wout the whole Booke of God there be any warrant any one president or colourable example that a Subject without the hazard of Soule may rise in actuall Rebellion against his Soveraigne upon any pretence or for the attaining of any end tend it nere so much to the glory of God and his Countries welfare and whether the Rebels at Westminster who have pretended both yet have performed neither are not lyable therefore to punishment here and hereafter Whether your selves ought to be censured even to agravation for convening your selves together in opposition to the Bishops Government yea whether you ought not to haue your ears naild for perjury in that you have contrary to your oathes taken at the time of your commencement and when you received Orders beene the principall authors of the Bishops ejectment and the stirrers up of the people against the Book of Cōmon-Prayer with the decent rites and necessary Ceremonies of the Church Thirdly Whether hee that feares not God can honour the King I meane knowingly and as a Christian ought and whether hee that honours the King in order aforesaid can be other thou a fearer of God These are the prime Nuts pray crack them first Then take the rest and feed untill you burst But for that I know the black Saints of the Army are not at leasure to leave Colchester as yet I shall not expect their company at the Faire but as a tender of my love I send them this Ballad which I would have them sing to the tune of a Song J writ some yeares since called I would if I could England Most blessed knaves Who dig the graves For Loyalty and reason You errant holy Zealots Who hug the varlet Treason Shall vertue suffer still England unto your will Shall plunderers bear sway And Loyalty obey Army Wee l nere assen● our Parlement Shall be adjou●●ed quite For who shall vote us money As t is most requisite Wee l rule you all by force While we are foot and horse Your wives your goods are ours Inthral● into our powers England Therefore ye goates Wee l cut your throats And ●ead you swift to h●ll For a●● your Base projections No age can paral●●● Wee l mince you to the pot And hang you up by lo● Your ●●ly hides wee l ore And kill you ore and ore My tame wittols of the City I am certainly assured to have store of you at this Faire with your Faire wives in your wooden houses and for you for that I find now that you begin somewhat to bee reformed cleane contrary to the intents of your Reformers after you have wearied your selves in iniquity you are now sat down to count your gains find you have accrewed nothing but iron in your wounds and gunpowder in your nostrils having exchanged your liberty for slavery your King for Tyrants your God for Besial and your honour for shame I say since I see you have now found your error and resolve no longer to be ridden exhausted I shall bestow upon you these pair of knives They are exceedingly well temper'd and of an exquisite forme fashioned by a most accomplisht Artist call'd Self Preservation with one of them I should have you to cut holes in the skins of those desperate and bloody Sectaries of the Army as also of those under the conduct of the Treacherous Saint Skippon all whom are ingaged by oath to rob and plunder you in case you shall not joyn with them in their damnable intents for the deposing the King for extirpating the Nobility for the setting up of a boundles Independency for the attaining a parrity without nomination With the other I would have you to salute the Rebels of the lower House as Ioab did Abner and to be of the same mind that Ireton once was of when the Army and you were at difference to purge and purge and never leave purging the Houses till you quite roote out all the Regecides and bloody destroyers there That don with speed to search the land And stab all Traytors out of hand Then to bring home your King in Peace All hostile actions for to cease Place him in throne the Church restore Vnto her Pastors as before t Recover your lost lawes age● Which don be happy joyfull men FINIS