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land_n east_n lie_v west_n 6,371 5 9.0154 4 true
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A20087 A strange horse-race at the end of which, comes in the catch-poles masque. And after that the bankrouts banquet: vvhich done, the Diuell, falling sicke, makes his last will and testament, this present yeare. 1613. VVritten by Thomas Dekker. Dekker, Thomas, ca. 1572-1632. 1613 (1613) STC 6528; ESTC S105271 32,341 52

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Will one was at his Elbow presently 〈◊〉 he hugd in his armes and cry'd out Welcome my Sonne thou 〈…〉 euer bind mee vnto thee S r Satrapa● Satan then 〈…〉 him Hee 's 〈…〉 and miserable estate 〈…〉 desperate 〈…〉 being vtterly giuen ouer hee 〈◊〉 for him to 〈◊〉 his Last Will and Testament and 〈◊〉 or Scriuano begins and galops as fast but then as Monsieur Diabole 〈…〉 his chaps The Will 〈◊〉 this The Diuels last Will and TESTAMENT BEHEMAH Dornschweyn Prince of all that lyes betwéene the East and the West the North and the South Mighty both on the Sea and on the Land chiefe Uayuode of Usury Symony Bribery Periury Forgery Tyrranny Blasphemy Calumny c. My Uassails and Deputies with all their Petty Officers vnder them Patron of all that study the blacke and Negromanticke Arts Father of all the Roaring Boyes The Founder and Upholder of Paintings Dawbings Plaisterings Pargettings Purflings Cerusings Cementings Wrinkle-fillings and Botchings vp of old decayed and weather-beaten Faces being confounded and tormented in euery limbe but hauing my Memory and Wits fresh and liuely doe make this my last Will and Testament in manner and forme following Inprimis I will bequeath the World whereof I am Prince with all the Pleasures Inticements and Sorcerous Uanities thereof to bee equally distributed amongst my Sons and Daughters and because of my owne knowledge I find very many of them to be damnable and wicked I lay vpon all such a fathers heauy curse not caring though they ha●g in hell because they haue ran a villanous impious preposterous and diuelish Race Item To all those Ladies Gentlewoman and Cittizens wiues being set downe by their Names in my Black book to whose houses company I haue bene welcome at mid-night my Will is y e they all shall mou●ne Item I further will and bequeath to my louing and deerest friends the Usurers of this Citty all such moneis as are now or shall heereafter bee taken aboue the rate of 10 i th hundred Item My Will is that euery Gentleman who serues mee shall bee kept in his Chaine yea the worst that hath followed mee let him goe in a blacke s●●te of Durance Item Whereas I haue many Base Daughters lurking about y e Suburbs I giue to thē Carbuncles a peece the biggest that 〈◊〉 be goten And to those Matrons that for my sake haue bene euer déere to those my said Daughters I giue to each of them a bottle of the same Aqua-vitae whereof I my selfe drinke Item I giue my inuisible cloakes to all Bankrouts because they made them but to one Poet onely called Poet Comedy I giue my best inuisible Cloake because it onely fits his shoulders better then mine 〈◊〉 but chiefly for that hée will trim it vp well and line it with Come not neere me or stand off And because he is a ●lip of mine owne grafting I likewise bequeath to him my best Slippers to walke and play with his kéepers noses Item I giue to all Officers that loue mee a brace of my owne Angels to hang about their neckes as a remembrance of mee Item my Wil is that all the Brokers in Long-lane be sent to me with all spéed possible because I haue much of them laid to pawne to me which will I know neuer be redeemed and what I giue to them shall bee in Hugger-Mugger and for their brethren the rest of their Iewish Tribe in the Synagogue of Houns-ditch let thē be assured they shall not bee forgotten because I heare they pray for mee howrely I pitty these poore dispised soules because if they should misse mee I know what would become of them Item I giue toward the mending of the High-waies betweene New-gate and Tyburne all the grauell that lies in the Kidneys Reynes and Bladders of Churles Usures Baudes Harlots and Whoore-maisters and rather then those Grauel-pits should grow scanty I will that they bee supplied continually Item I giue to all Iailors and Kéepers of prisons to euery one of them the soule of a Beare to bee rauenous the body of a Woolfe to be cr●●ll the speech of a Dog to be churlish the Tallons of a ●ulture to bee griping and my countenance to beare them out in their office that they may looke like diuels vpon poore prisoners Item My Will is that if any Roaring Boy springing from my Race happen to be Stabd swaggering or swearing three-pil'd oathes in a Tauerne or to bee kild in the quarrell of his Whoore let him bee fetched hither in my owne Name because heere he shall be both ●ookt too and prouided for Lastly I make and ordaint by this my last Will and Testament a common Barretour to bee my Executor and two Knights who are my sworne seruants and are of the Post their Names and seruice being naild vpon Pillers in Westminster Pallace I make them al-be-it they are pur-blind my Ouerseers and for their paines therein I will bequeath to each of them a great round Pearle to be worne in their eyes because I may be still in their sight when I am gone from them And to testify that this is my last and onely Will which shall stand I subscribe my Name vnto it thereby Renouncing Retracting Reuocating Disanulling quite Cancelling all former Wils whatsoeuer by mee at any time or times made In witnesse whereof all the States Infernall Auernall Acheronticke Stygian Phlegetonticke and Peryphlegitonticke haue likewise subscribed in the yeare of our Ranging in the World 5574. Mounsieur Nouerint being a man whose conditions were too well knowne had nothing said to him at this time because the Diuell was very bad and had no stomacke to talke of old Reckonings for Vniuerse was in his debt but had his payment and was glad he got away Now as it often happens to rich Curmudgeons that after they haue settled their estates on their death-beds as they verily feare and that their wiues gape day and night to be widdowes that from their husbands 〈◊〉 they may leape into a Coach and be Ladies their sonnes and heires cursing as fast as the mothers pray vntill they great Capon-bell ring out the daughters weeping when they know their portions onely because they are not marriageable or if mariageble because ere they mourne in blacke they haue not Suiters to make them merry the kindred as greedy for their parts to see the winding sheete laid out that they may fetch their 〈◊〉 Legacies then oh terrible then y e old Fox reuiues fals to his sleepe cals for his victuals feeles himselfe mend remembers his bags cries out for his keies seales vp his mony no talk of a Wil no hope of a Widdow no sharing of his wealth Euen the selfe-same Pill tooke this Diego Daemonum and recouered vpon it For all his children acquaintance and seruants standing round about him howling and ●rying for him behold this howling of theirs made him