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A20065 The second part of The honest whore with the humours of the patient man, the impatient wife: the honest whore, perswaded by strong arguments to turne curtizan againe: her braue refuting those arguments. And lastly, the comicall passages of an Italian bridewell, where the scæne ends. Written by Thomas Dekker.; Honest whore. Part 2 Dekker, Thomas, ca. 1572-1632. 1630 (1630) STC 6506; ESTC S109537 50,947 88

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Colts 't is he Can tame the mad folkes and curst wiues Bride Who your man Cand. My man my Master tho his head be bare But he 's so courteous he 'll put off his haire Lod. Nay if your seruice be so hot a man cannot keepe his haire on I le serue you no longer Bride Is this your Schoolemaster Lod. Yes faith wench I taught him to take thee downe I hope thou canst take him downe without teaching you ha got the conquest and you both are friends Cand. Beare witnes else Lod. My Prentiship then ends Cand. For the good seruice you to me haue done I giue you all your yeeres Lod. I thanke you Master I le kisse my Mistris now that she may say My man was bound and free all in one day Exeunt Enter Orlando and Infaelice Infae. From whom saiest thou Orla. From a poore Gentlewoman Madam whom I serue Infae. And what 's your businesse Orla. This Madam my poore Mistris has a waste piece of ground which is her owne by inheritance and left to her by her mother There 's a Lord now that goes about not to take it cleane from her but to inclose it to himselfe and to ioyne it to a piece of his Lordships Infae. What would she haue me doe in this Orla. No more Madam but what one woman should doe for another in such a case My Honourable Lord your Husband would doe any thing in her behalfe but shee had rather put her selfe into your hands because you a woman may doe more with the Duke your Father Infae. Where lyes this Land Orl. Within a stones cast of this place my Mistris I think would be content to let him enioy it after her decease if that would serue his turne so my Master would yeeld too but she cannot abide to heare that the Lord should meddle with it in her life time Infae. Is she then married why stirres not her Husband in it Orl. Her Husband stirres in it vnder hand but because the other is a great rich man my Master is loth to be seene in it too much Infae. Let her in writing draw the cause at large And I will moue the Duke Orl. 'T is set downe Madam here in blacke and white already worke it so Madam that she may keepe her owne without disturbance grieuance molestation or medling of any other and she bestowes this purse of gold on your Ladyship Infae. Old man I le pleade for her but take no fees Giue Lawyers them I swim not in that flood I le touch no gold till I haue done her good Orl. I would all Proctors Clearkes were of your minde I should law more amongst them then I doe then here Madam is the suruey not onely of the Mannor it selfe but of the Grange house with euery Medow pasture Plough-land Cony-borough Fish-pond hedge ditch and bush that stands in it Infae. My Husbands name and hand and seale at armes to a Loue-letter Where hadst thou this writing Orla. From the foresaid party Madam that would keepe the foresaid Land out of the foresaid Lords fingers Infae. My Lord turnd Ranger now Orl. Y' are a good Huntresse Lady you ha found your Game already your Lord would faine be a Ranger but my Mistris requests you to let him runne a course in your owne Parke if you 'll not doo 't for loue then doo 't for money she has no white money but there 's gold or else she praies you to ring him by this token and so you shall be sure his nose will not be rooting other mens pastures Infae. This very purse was wouen with mine owne hands This Diamond on that very night when he Vntyed my Virgin girdle gaue I him And must a common Harlot share in mine Old man to quit thy paines take thou the gold Orl. Not I Madam old Seruingmen want no money Infae. Cupid himselfe was sure his Secretary These lines are euen the Arrowes Loue let flies The very Incke dropt out of Uenus eyes Orla. I doe not thinke Madam but hee fetcht off some Poet or other for those lines for they are parlous Hawkes to flie at wenches Infae Here 's honied poyson to me he ne'r thus writ But Lust can set a double edge on wit Orla. Nay that 's true Madam a wench will whet any thing if it be not too dull Infae. Oathes promises preferments Iewels gold What snares should breake if all these cannot hold What creature is thy Mistris Orl. One of those creatures that are contrary to man a woman Infae. What manner of woman Orl. A little tiny woman lower then your Ladiship by head and shoulders but as mad a wench as euer vnlaced a petticote these things should I indeed haue deliuered to my Lord your Husband Infae. They are deliuered better Why should she send backe these things Orl. Ware ware there 's knauery Infae. Strumpets like cheating gamesters will not win At first these are but baites to draw him in How might I learne his hunting houres Orl. The Irish Footman can tell you all his hunting houres the Parke he hunts in the Doe he would strike that Irish Shackatory beates the bush for him and knowes all he brought that Letter and that Ring he is the Carrier Infae. Knowest thou what other gifts haue past betweene them Orl. Little S. Patricke knowes all Infae. Him I se examine presently Orl. Not whilest I am here sweet Madam Infae. Be gon then what lyes in me command Exit Orl. Enter Bryan Infae. Come hither sirra how much cost those Satins and cloth of Siluer which my husband sent by you to a low Gentlewoman yonder Bry. Faat Sattins faat Siluers faat low Gentlefolkes dow pratest dow knowest not what yfaat la Infae. She there to whom you carried letters Bry. By dis hand and bod dow saist true if I did so oh how I know not a letter a de Booke yfaat la Infae. Did your Lord neuer send you with a Ring sir set with a Diamond Bry. Neuer sa crees sa me neuer he may runne at a towsand rings yfaat and I neuer hold his stirrop till he leape into de saddle By S. Patricke Madam I neuer touch my Lords Diamond nor euer had to doe yfaat la with any of his precious stones Enter Hipollito Infae. Are you so close you Bawd you pandring slaue Hip. How now why Infaelice what 's your quarrell Infae. Out of my sight base varlet get thee gone Hip. Away you rogue Bry. Slawne loot fare de well fare de well Ah marragh frofat boddah breen Exit Hip. What growne a fighter prethee what 's the matter Infae. If you 'll needs know it was about the clocke how workes the day my Lord pray by your watch Hip. Lest you cuffe me I le tell you presently I am neere two Infae. How two I am scarce at one Hip. One of vs then goes false Infae. Then sure 't is you Mine goes by heauens Diall the Sunne and it goes true Hip. I
my Taylor for I owe him for the making of it Bel. And why did you so sir Mat. To keepe the fashion It 's your onely fashion now of your best ranke of Gallants to make their Taylors waite for their money neither were it wisedome indeed to pay them vpon the first edition of a new suite for commonly the suite is owing for when the lynings are worne out and there 's no reason then that the Taylor should be paid before the Mercer Bel. Is this the suite the Knight bestowed vpon you Mat. This is the suite and I need not shame to weare it for better men then I would be glad to haue suites bestowed on them It 's a generous fellow but pox on him we whose Pericranions are the very Limbecks and Stillitories of good wit and flie hie must driue liquor out of stale gaping Oysters Shallow Knight poore Squire Tinacheo I le make a wild Captaine of forty such hang him he 's an Asse he 's alwaies sober Bel. This is your fault to wound your friends still Mat. No faith Front Lodouico is a noble Slauonian it 's more rare to see him in a womans company then for a Spaniard to goe into England and to challenge the English Fencers there One knockes See La fa sol la fa la rustle in Silkes and Satins there 's musique in this and a Taffety Petticoate it make both flie hie Catzo Enter Bellafront after her Orlando like himselfe with foure men after him Bel. Matheo 't is my Father Mat. Ha Father It 's no matter hee findes no tatterd Prodigals here Orl. Is not the doore good enough to hold your blue Coates away Knaues Weare not your cloathes thred-bare at knees for me beg Heauens blessing not mine Oh cry your Worship mercy sir was somewhat bold to talke to this Gentlewoman your wife here Mat. A poore Gentlewoman sir Orl. Stand not sir bare to me I ha read oft That Serpents who creepe low belch ranker poison That winged Dragons doe that flie aloft Mat. If it offend you sir 't is for my pleasure Orl. Your pleasure be 't sir vmh is this your Palace Bel. Yes and our Kingdome for 't is our content Orl. It 's a very poore Kingdome then what are all your Subiects gone a Sheepe-shearing not a Maid not a Man not so much as a Cat you keepe a good house belike iust like one of your profession euery roome with bare walls and a halfe-headed bed to vault vpon as all your bawdy-houses are Pray who are your Vpholsters Oh the Spider I see they bestow hangings vpon you Mat. Bawdy-house Zounds sir Bel. Oh sweet Matheo peace Vpon my knees I doe beseech you sir not to arraigne me For sinnes which heauen I hope long since hath pardoned Those flames like lightning flashes are so spent The heate no more remaines then where ships went Or where birds cut the aire the print remaines Mat. Pox on him kneele to a Dog Bel. She that 's a Whore Liues gallant fares well is not like me poore I ha now as small acquaintance with that sinne As if I had neuer knowne it that neuer bin Orl. No acquaintance with it what maintaines thee then how doest liue then has thy husband any Lands any Rents comming in any Stocke going any Ploughs iogging any Ships sailing hast thou any Wares to turne so much as to get a single penny by yes thou hast Ware to sell Knaues are thy Chapmen and thy Shop is Hell Mat. Doe you heare sir Orl. So sir I do heare sir more of you then you dreame I do Mat. You flie a little too hie sir Orl. Why sir too hie Mat. I ha suffred your tongue like a bard Cater tra to runne all this while and ha not stopt it Orl. Well sir you talke like a Gamester Mat. If you come to bark at her because shee 's a poore rogue look you here 's a fine path sir and there there the doore Bel. Matheo Mat. Your blue Coates stay for you sir I loue a good honest roaring Boy and so Orl. That 's the Deuill Mat. Sir sir I le ha no Ioues in my house to thunder Auaunt she shall liue and be maintained when you like a keg of musty Sturgeon shall stinke Where in your Coffin How be a musty fellow and lowsie Orl. I know she shall be maintained but how she like a Queane thou like a Knaue she like a Whore thou like a Thiefe Mat. Theife Zounds Thiefe Bel. Good dearest Mat Father Mat. Pox on you both I le not be braued New Sattin scornes to be put downe with bare bawdy Veluet Thiefe Orl. I Thiefe th' art a Murtherer a Cheater a Whore-monger a Pot-hunter a Borrower a Begger Bel. Deare Father Mat. An old Asse a Dog a Churle a Chuffe an Vsurer a Villaine a Moth a mangy Mule with an old veluet foot-cloth on his backe sir Bel. Oh me Orl. Varlet for this I le hang thee Mat. Ha ha alas Orl. Thou keepest a man of mine here vnder my nose Mat. Vnder thy beard Orl. As arrant a smell-smocke for an old Mutton-munger as thy selfe Mat. No as your selfe Orl. As arrant a purse-take as euer cride Stand yet a good fellow I confesse and valiant but he 'll bring thee to 'th Gallowes you both haue robd of late two poore Country Pedlers Mat. How 's this how 's this doest thou flie hie rob Pedlers beare witnes Front rob Pedlers my man and I a Thiefe Bel. Oh sir no more Orl. I Knaue two Pedlers hue and cry is vp Warrants are out and I shall see thee climbe a Ladder Mat And come downe againe as well as a Bricklayer or a Tyler How the vengeance knowes he this If I be hanged I le tell the people I married old Friscabaldoes Daughter I le frisco you and your old carkas Orl. Tell what thou canst if I stay here longer I shall bee hang'd too for being in thy company therefore as I found you I leaue you Mat. Kneele and get money of him Orl. A Knaue and a Queane a Thiefe and a Strumpet a couple of Beggers a brace of Baggages Mat. Hang vpon him I I sir fare you well we are so follow close we are Beggers in Sattin to him Bel. Is this your comfort when so many yeeres You ha left me frozen to death Orl. Freeze still starue still Bel. Yes so I shall I must I must and will If as you say I 'm poore relieue me then Let me not sell my body to base men You call me Strumpet Heauen knowes I am none Your cruelty may driue me to be one Let not that sinne be yours let not the shame Of common Whore liue longer then my name That cunning Bawd Necessity night and day Plots to vndoe me driue that Hag away Lest being at lowest ebbe as now I am I sinke for euer Orl. Lowest ebbe what ebbe Bel. So poore that tho to tell it be my shame I am not worth a dish to hold my meate I am yet