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A63893 Choice experiences of the kind dealings of God before, in, and after conversion laid down in six general heads : together with some brief observations upon the same : whereunto is added a description of true experience / by J. Turner. Turner, J. (Jane) 1653 (1653) Wing T3294; ESTC R27571 50,831 242

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meerly by their words that I durst read it no further but sent it home again resolving to stick to my old principles and so resolved I was that I judged it my duty and accordingly did praise the Lord that I had escaped that snare and stumbling block which it was like to be to me till about half a year after these forementioned Ministers not being satisfyed to speak against those books in private only but brought them into their Pulpits reading particular passages which as they read and applyed it was contrary to the sense of it and sometimes I thought they spake more than was true which did occasion me to desire the book again for my better satisfaction but they not being allowed to be sold at that time it was hard to get any of them but through mercy I got one and then I found they did not deal faithfully but did wrest and draw false con sequences contrary to the drist and scope of it all which occasioned serious thoughts in me remembring when I first read it I laid it aside meerly from a spirit of fear and prejudice occasioned by their words and not that I was able to disprove it from Scripture grounds then remembring those words of the Apostle I Thes 5. 21. Try all things and hold fast that which is good I thought it my duty to lay aside all slavish fear and prejudice and to try it exactly by the Scriptures believing that as it was Gods way to try so he would assist me in it which he was pleased to do and as I read I began to be much affected and I thought it was glad tidings and good news if it were true but I thought it was too good to be true for I could not then believe that God was so free of his Christ as to give him to any other sinners but to such as were qualified fitted and prepared for him or that the way to glory was so easy as he seemed to mak it for if it were so then all that labour and travel which I had been a long time in was nothing which I could by no means yield to at that time For as Christ once said to the Jews that Publicans and Harlots enter into the Kingdom before them Mat. 21. 31. so truly I found it so hard to lay down my own legal righteousness and to submit to the righteousness of God by Faith according to Rom. 10. 3. that I was like to stick here when such as were more profane might receive the truth sooner But seriously weighing these with some other such like Scriptures as Rom. 4. 4. and 5. 8. Ephe. 2. through grace I was in a great measure convinced and brought to see that I had been exceedingly mistaken in my understanding and applying of Jesus Christ and whereas I thought I had attained a good degree of knowledge I now saw my self to be very ignorant and must begin again to learn the first principles of the oracles of God which to suffer so much loss was very hard to me at the first but God was pleased by degrees to strip me of all and to shew me such a beauty and excellency in the Lord Jesus above it that I was made not only willing but joyous to lay down all at his feet and I trust could truly say with the Apostle That what was gain to me I counted loss for Christ yea doubtless and I count all things but losse for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord for whom I have suffered the loss of all things and do count them but dung that I may win Christ and be found in him c. Phil. 3 7 8 9 c. and as God had exalted Christ to be a Prince and a Saviour Acts 5. 31. and had chosen him as the only excellent one in whom he had placed life and salvation for people Mat. 12. 18. so my soul did approve of it to be the most excellent way and I trust could truly say with the Spouse he is the chiefest of ten thousand ye he is one and there is not another Cant. 5. 10. Act. 4. 12. and the more I came to apprehend the glory of the Gospel in the free tenders and invitations of Christ to sinners the more still I was affected with it and did admire it and seeing the tenders of grace so free and the invitations so general that whosoever would come might come and take of the water of life freely Esay 55. 1. Revel 22. 17. and that whosoever came to Christ he would in no wise cast out John 6. 37. by which word come I understood believing vers 40. and then considering the nature of the covenant that it is a covenant of grace free and without all conditions on the creatures part and that the conditions stand only between God and Christ as I then understood by these Scriptures Esay 53. 10. Psal 89. Through these considerations I was not only encouraged but the abounding love of Christ did compell and constrain me to cast my self upon him for life and salvation in a way of believing and not in a way of working and to the praise of his grace as I desire never to forget it I did at this time receive the assurance of the love of God in believing the free and full pardon of all my sins That God had laid them all upon Christ and beholding the travel of his soul was satisfyed Esay 53. 11. and well pleased with me in him Mat. 3. 17. and that they were all carried into the wildernes of forgetfulness and buried in Oblivion according to that type of Christ Levit. 16. 21 22. and that they were washed away in his blood Revel 1. 5. and that God would remember them no more Heb. 8. 12. and 10. 17. These Scriptures with some others of the like nature were by the Spirit of God set home so powerfully upon my heart at that time that truly I cannot express the joyfulness and sweetness of my condition not being able to contain my self from calling to others to tell them what God had done for my soul how he had brought me out of bondage into the glorious liberty of adoption and filled me with joy and peace in believing yea with joy unspeakable and full of glory Rom. 15. 13. 1 Pet. 1. 8. and I remember for a long time after I did delight to be almost continually speaking or meditating of the glory of the free grace of God in the Gospel and of his bounty and goodness to poor sinners and to me the chief of sinners for I know more evill by my self than I do by any other yet doubtless I can say as it was once said of the Thessalonians The Gosspel came not to me at that time in word only but in power and much assurance and joy in the Holy Ghost 1 Thes 1. 5. and whereas formerly I thought that to receive such a principle was the ready way to be loose and carnal I did