as may conduce to the honour of your Ma'ts person safety the comfort of your people and vnyting of both the Realmes against the common enemies of the reformed religion and your Ma'ts petitioners shall c. The names of such Earles and Barrons as subscribed this petion vi'zt Earles Bedford Hartford Essex Mougraue Warwick Bullingbrooke Rutland Lincoln Exetor Uicecomptes Lord Say Seale Mandifeeld Brooke Harford North Willoby Sauell Wharton Loveles Saint John Articles of agreement made concluded and done this 28 of Sep'ter in the yeare of grace 1641. and of the world 5662. By and betweene the high and mighty Prince Lucifer King of sticks and Phlegeton the holy and most superstcious Primate of the roman Church the Cardinals Bishops Iesuites priests and Semenaries of the one party And Iudge bribery Lawyer corruption Aturny contencion Solissitor Sedition Iustice Conivence Iaylor opression and State Negligence of the other party In manner and forme following Imprimis IT is this day mutually agreed by betweene the seuerall parties aboue named That there shal be a league offenciue defenciue concluded confirmed by both parties at or before Holy roode day next insuing the date hereof Item That whereas there hath binn lately by the subtill practises of some Parliamentary reformists a discord and discension raised betweene the state ecleasiasticke and the State of the Inns of court whereby there hath hapned no small preiudice vnto the eclesiasticke state the likes whereof is to be doubted may also fall vpon the state of the Inns of Court and so concequently vpon the Crowne and dignity of ovr Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer Jt is therefore mutually agreed that all former controvercies and contentions betweene both parties shall sease and that all unity peace and concord shall be imbraced on either side according to the expressions in the precedent artickel to the honour of our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer his crowne dignity Item It is agreed that the said state of the Inns of Court and the state Eclesiasticke afore said Shall ioyntly and severally vse the vttermost of their strength power and policy To resist suppress all such proceedings of this present parliament which shall any way tend to the Reformation and suppression of Opression Extortion Bribery Contention Tradition And that they shall will with all their might power and policy endeauour and striue to broche Advance and maintaine All the said severall impietise again To the honour of our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer his Crowne and dignity Item Jt is agreed by berweene our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer and the whole state ecclesiasticke of the one part And Iudge bribery That forthwith vpon the dissolution of this present Parliament He the said Iudge bribery is then againe to put in practise the taking of bribes passing of fals iudgement and maintaining his fals corrupt centences and decreese to be things sacred infaliable Oppressing the innocent by clos imprisonment and also fauouring all Iesuites Priests and Semenaries if any of them happen by the Instruments of Justice to be laid hold on Animating and instructing all Aturnies Soliceters and Clarkes for and to the sowing of strife and contention amongst the people of the land To the honour of our Sofferaign Lord King Lucifer his Crowne and dignity Item It is agreed by betweene our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer and Lawyer corruption that he the said lawyer corrupcion shall notwithstanding any powerfull Parliamentary reformation still parsist in takeing fees both of playntiue and defendant nor shall ever bring any honest cause to its period vntill he hath in fees devoured the whole substance both of plaintiue and defendant neither shall he the said Lawyer corruption euer at any time giue any true and preualent advice to any his clyents but shall delude and delay them vntill he hath draynd them as aforesâ—id to the vtter ruine of them their wiues and children to the honour of our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer and the propagation of his Crowne and dignity To their owne present rich impiety and asured sucsesefull pardition Jtem It is agreed and concluded by and betweene our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer and Aturny Contention That he the said Atturny contention shall and will at all times in all places and vpon all occasions vse his best dilligence to sow debate strife varience contentioÌ„ amongst the people of the land without exception of persons yea he shall not omitt to set the father against the son and the son against the father as also one Brother against the other to the vtter ruine of their estates houses and families to that end he shall dispose of himselfe and all his imphes into all the quarters and severall corners of the Kingdome neither shall there be any market towne or place of habitation but he shall seat himselfe there to the intent and purpose aforesaid To the honour of our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer his Crowne and dignity to the advancement of the said sience of iniquity Jtem Jt is agreed by betweene our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer and Solissetor Sedition That he the said Solissetor Sedition shall will at all times vse his best endeauovr to stir vp animate and encourage all people of what condicion degree profesion soever vnto sutes in the law that he the said Solisetor Sedition shall will proue faithfull vnto all Lawyers Aturnies and shall and will be slow in the prosecution of any mans cause whatsoever and spin out the thred therof to its full length espeacially in the Courts of equity by multiplicity of Begeting orders and by not omitting to haue this clause incerted into every of his orders videliset vnles cause be shewed to the contrary at the next court day by the defendant as also by falsifiing of orders Through the corrupting of registers and corrupting of councell in an honest cause by deceiueing his clyants through false uniust bills of charges by brybing the Judges of the severall courts and the masters of the Chancery Richly to the honour of our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer his Crowne and dignity and the eternall damnation of Solissetor Sedition Jtem It is agreed concluded in Perpetuum between our Sofferainge Lord King Lucifer and Iaylor oppression that whereas through the rigoure of the law many poore Christian soules are commited vnto his keeping safe custody for sundry causes and sometimes for no iust cause at al He the said Iaylor opression shall and will by himselfe his Clarkes and servants be void of all mercy and compassion towards them and shall and will as much as in him lieth endeavour to worke the vtter ruine of the estates and liues of all such as shall be committed to his custody and to that end he the saide Jaylor oppression shall nor will not be slack in giuing bribes otherwise stiled new-yeares gifts yearely unto all the Judges of the courts of Iustis for towards the better incouragement
NEWES FROM HELL ROME AND THE INNS OF COURT WHEREIN Is sett forth The Coppy of a letter written from the Diuell to the Pope The true coppy of the Petition deliuered to the King at York The coppy of certaine artikles of agreement betweene the Divill the Pope and divers others The discription of a feast sent from the Diuell to the Pope together with a short advertisement to the high court of Parliament with sundry other Particulars Published for the futuar peace tranquility of the Inhabitants of great BRITANY By J M. Printed in the yeare of grace and reformation 1641. TO OVR DEERLY BELOVED SON THE MOST PIEOUS AND MOST RELIGIOVS PRImate of the Romaine Church and to all our deerely beloued children the Cardinals and Lordly Bushops in Europe Haste Haste Poste Haste Your intire Prince and God of this world Lucifer Prince of Darknes and Superstition King of sâ—â—ks and Phlegetoâ— Suppreame Lord of Ghehenna Tartaria Colmakia Samoyedia Lappia Corâ—lia and Colmagoria Prince abissus and sole commander of Seeberia Alteenia Pecheora of all the Infernall furies their punise the Jesuites Priests and Semenaries Sendeth Greeting Moste Dearely beloued Sonne and you our dutifull childeren whose sanctity we reuerence whose persons we adore whose wisdomes we admire at whose Pollicis wee wonder at whose power we muse and at whose iunincible stratagems we stand amazed Nor can we in the first place but extoll aplaud most highly commend thee our deere sonn for the extreordinary care in the aduancement of ovr Kingdome And as next in place the extreordinary dilligent and vigilant care of all our beloued children the Lordly Bushops in the advancement of our Regall power to the great enlardgment of our infernall dominions by their rare Subtill plots stratagems And in a more spetial manner we are pleased through our infernall grace fauour to extoll them for this their present and excellent invention in sowing discord amongst the English heririkes as also in prouoking the Scots heririkes to an apparant oposition against their King yea so farr as to an invasion of the Teritories of England al which services are most deare and axceptable unto us Jnrespect of which seruices as also for their fidellity to vs our kingdom we haue caused our princepall secretary of estate Don Antonio Furioso Diabelo to make an especiall Jnroullment of their names in our Callend amongst those our deere seruants the plotters of the gunpowder treason and the most renowned the complloters of the former inuasion of England in the yeare of grace 1588. and since the creation of the world 5609 both which services although their events were no wayes answerable to our royall expectation yet those instruments that so freely aduentured themselues in them shall be euer renouned in our Court infernall and most acceptable to our person And for the better incouragement of these our trusty and well beloued seruants in the speedier advancement of this worke now intended for the vtter extirpation of all heritikes increace of our regall power we are pleased by this our royall manuell to giue vnto them assureance of our aid best assistance in the most efficatious manner that our Princely power can extend vnto And because our former sttatagems put in excecution by our beloued Cosen Councelor the King of Spaine were by him nowayes effected according to our princely expectation We haue now therefore imposed our princely command upon our beloued servant the King of France at the humble sutemade vnto vs by our children the Lordly Bushops and by some of our servants of greatest quality in the Realme of England as also by our servants the Iesuites and Romane Catholikes of England To haue a Puisant armie in readines for the Invasion of England at such a time as those our children and servants shal conceiue it most conuenient efficatious And further our will and pleasure is that you our deere Son shall still parsist to stirr vp Incourage our children the arch-Bishops as also thy disiples our Loyall Subiects servants the Iesuites Priests and Semenaries to this work that they with all their might together with our powrefull policis granted vnto them may striue to effect this work with all Celerity That we may once more see our Kingdome of Superstition Re-established in the Monarchie of great Britayne and Ireland The motiues to be pressed iuducing them to the expeditious effecting of the same is principali their respect to our Kingly honour next their owne increace of greatnes for we promise assure them by the word of a King Jnfernall That every of them shall raigne as Princes under vs not onely ouer the bodies estates of men but also ouer their Soules by through the many infernall graces by vs most freely and beningnly Conferred on them and hreeby to make them the more sensible of these our seueral graces confered on them we are pleased therefore here at preseÌ„t to expres but some few of them in perticular as namely pride vaine glory hipocricy selfe-loue of themselues of this present world loue of will worship advancement of Idolatary Together with that spetiall gift of couetuousnesse The onely piller to all the rest of our infernall garces conferred on them Thirdly In respect of the cleare passadg by us made for them by setting the heritikes for this long time at varience amongst themselues By our trusty servants the Lawyers and advancement of Idolitary amonst them The onely meanes in our Princely wisdom conceaued to be to the breakeing of the bond of unity and peace thereby to provoke the great God of heauen to leaue them to themselues and to our powrfull stratagemse We are likewise pleased to take spetiall Notice of that service done by our children the Lordly Bushops in working the dissolution of the assembly of Parliament in May last past 1640 by which meanes nothing was efected for the good of heritikes either concerning their church or common welth so as the sucses of this dissigne of ourse was thereby no ways hindred you are likewise to let them know from vs that the Noblemen of Engand are dishartened the the Gentry daunted the Comunality devided the number of our servants the Romman Catholiks infinitly increased and the Realme in Genrall greatly oppressed not onely by the sundry Monapolies but also by the invinceable opressing power of our children the Lordly Bishops the multitude of our seruants the corrupt Judges bace minded Lawyers seditious Aturnnies and woden headed Docters of our Siuil lawes Procters Prothonotaries Registâ—rs Advocates Solissitors and Apparrators whom wee haue caused to swarme like to the Egiptian Locusts ouer al the land for the sowing of discord blowing the coals of contention amongst all the Jnhabitants of the same they haueing al of them long since receaued instructions by some of our infernal spirits sent forth from vs to that effect You are likewise to let them know that out of our princely
a certaine number of falce and corrupt Iudges it is seasoned with the spice of aged detestable couetuousnes bribery extortion oppression iniustice unmercifullnes and with parvertion of all the statute lawes garnished with ship money forrest mony lone mony and a multitude of Jsoprises but this dish is by his ma'ties speciall order to be preserved for his owne peculiar pallate Pope His Majesties will be done J shall be ever ready obedient to all his Ma'ties commands nor will I presume to taste of it but onely passe my iudgment on it that it is a Princely dish fit onely for his Majesties table What is the next J pray my Lord Card'i The next may it please your holynes is a large Golden charger contayning a very great number of bace minded covetuous uniust extorting oppressing Lawyers who value every word by them vttered at a barr of iustice at a farre higher price then your holynes doth your Buls issued forth for remission of sins these caterpillers his ma'ti king Lucifer hath brought into such great esteeme with all the Jnhabitants of England as that no man of quality thinks his hous to stand vnles it bee supported by one of those vermine pillars and broud of contention this dish is seasoned with the spice of extorting fees from one twenty-shillings-peece to 5. to 10. yea to 20. espeacially by those who are stiled the iudges favourites all this is giuen some times but for the speaking of 2. or 3. words it is likewise seasoned with the taking fees on both sides deluding clyents spining out the thred of an honest cause to its full length vntill the purs-strings both of plaintife and defendant crack and then they are tied together by a commission into the country where these catterpillers are reverenced and feared like so many Gods by all the people this dish is garnished with some 10000. pestifferous petty fogging sedicious 10-groat Atturnnies one of whose parfidious bills of charges in one tearme advances it-selfe sometimes vnto the sum of 5. 10. 20. yea 30 pounds espeacialy wheÌ„ he finds his clyent naturally inclyned to the conditions of an asse And on every of these garnishes haÌ„gs 5 â—onny-catching deceaitful Solissitors properly termed Lawyers-limetwigs traps or nets to catch the poore silly creatures caled clyents this dish his Ma'ty hath also reserved for his owne table Pope It is a Princely dish indeed and fit onely for the peculiar table of so great a Monarch as is our most dambnable Sofferaigne King Lucifer the opperation vertue of which dish is able to season a whole kingdome to be fit meat for his Ma'ties pallate espeacially if there be but the opperatiue spice added to it called the action of the cace But what is this dish my lord Card'i Card ' may it please your holynes this dish containes a certaine numâ—er of bace muck-wormes stiled Docters of our sivill law Chancelors and Officials this dish is also seasoned with the uniust spice of extortion oppression fraud and deceit and granished about with a most dambnable crue of Procters Notaries Registers Deligates Advocates Sumners and petty apparaters these haue for many yeares proued noteable instruments of strife and vexsation vnto the inhabitants of England and through their deceaueabl wayes haue mightily oppressed the people being not much inferior vnto the preceadent Golden charger But to this dish may it please your holynes there hath happened this yeare a very great mischance in the kooking for when wee thought it should haue bin most Laudably boyled vp to its greatest hight of Catholik operatioÌ„ there happened a Spider to fall into it through a sudden blast of Reformation which hath made it somwhat dangerous now for your holines to taste of For the Lamb that was moste richly seasoned in it is now through this sudden and unexpected misfortune Putrified and the Duck being a watry foule is quite disolved and this dish by his Ma'tys speciall order is to be left now to your holines disposall Pope J am much bound to his Ma'ty for his gracious favour to me herein J shall be very carefull through deliberation mature consideration to study for the most fittest disposall thereof during the time of my vicegerency here then return it againe to his Ma'ties disposall But I pray you my lord Cardinal what do those coper vessels containe Car'd May it please your holines this covered messe is a gallimofre or as the Fleamine cals it a Hutchepot wherein are sundry meates stued together it containes a certaine number of beasts called corrupt masters of the chancery half a dozen corrupt clarkes of the chancery also 150. Of their puni clarkes comonly termed Aturnies in chancery it also containes 6 new Aturnies of the Court of reqvests some 60 of their puny Clarkes this Hutchepot is seasoned with the spice of bribery fallswittneses stieled Knights of the poste a spice greatly in request in those Courts especialy in the examiners offices and the late Couentry affidavit office but his Ma'tys special commaÌ„d is to haue this couered mess preserued in its present condition least contention should sease amongst the inhabitants of England vnity peace take place which cannot but tend much to his Ma'tys dettryment loss of dominion in that Kingdom and to that end he hath caused the same to be sealed vp to be convayed from Couentry to Manchester by the Gâ—ulden Finche Pope Good my Lord Cardjnal J beseech you let his Ma'tys will pleasure herein be very carefully accomplished for it concerns much his Ma'ties honour and our safety But what is in this dish my Lord Card ' this may it please your holines is likewise a Hutchpot contayning meates of sundry sorts and operations it containes a certaine number of Prothonotaries Registers Clarks of the Starrechamber chancery court of requests Kings-bench common please and the excheckquer this galimofre is seasoned with subbornation of falce-witneses falcyfiing of orders and decrees it is garnished with the subtile practises of the renter warden of the fleete and his imphes as also with Killvert killfart killbennet kill Bishop and the like instruments of Lawyers gaine the opperation of this dish chiefely consists in the confusion of mens estates to extract Gold out of all mens purses to suppress vertue and peace and to advance eniquity and contention to wrong oppress every man and to do right to no man And this mess is also to be reserved for his Ma'tys Table Pope Good my Lord Cardinall J pray you let me taste of this mess the opperation whereof by your relation appeares to be admirable J wish from my heart that J might also grow capeabel of that vertue of extracting Gould out of the English nation as som of my predisessors haue done before me J confesse the study of this Art was begun by my Phisition most Laud ably but alas and we ' is mee it was marred by a robustious storm of wind out of the North