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A27395 A collection of certain espistles & testimonies of divine consolation, experience and doctrine written by that faithful, patient and long-suffering servant of Christ, William Bennit. Bennit, William, d. 1684. 1685 (1685) Wing B1891; ESTC R301 142,078 218

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can make afraid for indeed it was Rest my Soul wanted and true Peace in God my Soul many a time longed for and panted after for oh I was oftentimes wounded wounded wounded because of Sin and for want of the enjoyment of the Love and Peace of God I went many a time bowed down in Spirit day after day with an a king Mind grieved Soul and wounded Conscience with my Eyes full of Tears and my Heart full of Sighing thinking in my Heart there was few if any in my State and Condition sometimes wishing and saying in my Heart Oh that I were in a desert solitary place outwardly for so was my condition inwardly where no man inhabits where I might have Mourned and Wept out my fill and have poured out my Tears unto the tender God of tender Bowels of Mercy and have spread my Complaints before him whom my Soul did then sometimes in measure long thirst and pant after even as the Hart panteth after the water Brooks And many a time I did get into a solitary place to ease my Heart a little in pouring out my Tears and Complaints to the Lord for in those daies many were my Prayers and Tears for great was the burden and load which I oftentimes went under day after day which made me cry Night and Day to the Lord for Peace and Rest yet I then not knowing that it was the Light of Christ in my Conscience that did break my Rest and Peace in Sin neither knew it to be a stay to the Mind and a bridle to my Tongue I many a time got into a false ease and liberty in idleness and wildness of Youth but it was broke again and Sorrow and Trouble would take hold on my Mind and true Desires would again be Renewed in me after the Lord and breathing and thirsting after Righteousness and oh my Heart and Soul was many a time made tender and soft and oh pity pity and tender bowels of compassion was in me towards any that I thought was in my condition and a tender love was hid in my Heart towards those that I then thought were the People of God and I can truly say my Bowels and Heart is open still and oftentimes Pity Love Compassion and Tenderness issues forth in me towards those that now are in that condition I then was in oh my Soul my Soul cannot but in some measure simpathize with them and in Spirit bear a part of their Burdens and Sorrows in my Bosom that not without some secret cries in my Heart unto the tender God of Bowels of Pity on their behalf and partly for their sakes is this published hoping that if the Lord will it may be of service unto some of them and if the Lord order it so to be to them or any then will my end herein be answered thereby And in those daies I frequented the Meetings of the People called Independants viz. William Bredges's Congregation in great Yarmouth whom I then thought were the People of God and yet I then saw that many of their Lives and Conversations even some of the chief of them were not consistant with what they professed in words and when I have been amongst them in the time of their singing Psalms the pure Witness of God in my own Heart hath as it were stoped my Mouth that I could not Sing with them but my Heart in the time of their singing was broken into tenderness and many were the tears of my Eyes and verily my outward ●an or earthen Vessel hath quaked and trembled this was before I was by Scorners called a Quaker or had seen any of those People and shaken like a Leaf that is shaken with the Wind which might be a sign of that shaking which since the Lord hath suffered to come upon ☞ them which hath almost shattered and scattered them who will shake all sandy Foundations and blast all Professions that are out of the Light and Power of God by the working of the Light and Power of God in my Heart though I then knew not that it was the Power of God that brought such a trembling upon me and that did in some measure let me see that it was not then a time of singing for me for I was the● in a strange Land in the Land of Captivity and could not sing the Song of Sion which I may truly say not in the least enmity towards the People for my Soul beareth love and good will towards all men and desire to tender and own the least true appearance of God in any they were ignorant of who were then singing what others had prescribed and made ready for them I then wanted the enjoyment of the Love Joy Peace and sweet Presence of God which maketh glad the Hearts of the Righteous and causeth the lowly meek and upright to sing in the Spirit with understanding for joy not that Song or Songs or Psalms which men have invented by their human Wisdom from which Wisdom the Mysteries of God's Kingdom is obscured and concealed but the new and living Song which the Dead cannot sing but the Living that are raised and redeemed out of and from the Earth and from amongst men even the ransomed of the Lord that are returned from Babylon unto Mount Sion whereon they stand with the Lamb whom they have followed through many Tribulations and have not loved their Lives unto Death and have washed their Garments and made them white in his Blood in and by whom they are become Virgins and have cast of all old Lovers and are not defiled with the Woman Jezabel but through the Lamb have gotten Victory over the Whore Beast and false Prophet and in the Heavenly Dominion of the Lamb by whom they are made more then Conquerors do they stand on the Sea of Glass mingled with Fire with the Harps of God and can sing a new Song of praise and thanksgiving unto him that was dead but is alive and lives for evermore And in all the times of my trouble of mind and travel of Spirit I never made known how it was with me nor declared my condition to any Creature though never so intimate with them but kept it secret in my Heart pouring out my complaints to God but not unto any man yet I could gladly have had some to have known how it was with me but I was straitned in my self and kept it in obscurity and in those dayes I knew not what it was that wrought and strove with me and did so frequently judge and reprove me for Sin and gave me power over many Evils which others were overcome withal and raised strong desires in me after the Lord and discovered unto me the thoughts of my Heart I say I knew not then what it was I was then not sencible that it was the Light of Christ Jesus or a measure of the Spirit of Truth neither did I then know I should have taken heed thereunto as unto a Light shining in a