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A29779 The late converts exposed, or, The reasons of Mr. Bays's changing his religion considered in a dialogue : part the second : with reflections on the life of St. Xavier, Don Sebastian King of Portugal, as also the fable of the bat and the birds. Brown, Thomas, 1663-1704. 1690 (1690) Wing B5061; ESTC R13424 82,114 78

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State they forbid the Ecclesiastics all the World over to Marry lest when they should have occasion to use their assistance against their own natural Princes the squauling and cryes of their Children should stifle the voice of his Roman Molocship Had your Priesthood Mr. Bays really believed Marriage to have been a Sacrament that brought Grace along with it you may conclude from their taking away the Cup and several other retrenchments that it had been a favour to be allowed only to the choicer sort of the Laity and that they themselves had been so far from denying Matrimony to their own Tribe that I don't question but they would have pleaded some Reverend Tradition or other nay interpreted the Scripture so far to their own advantage as to make it allow 'em the priviledge of Poligamy in order to secure themselves of as great a stock of Grace as was possible to be had Bays So Mr. Crites you have made a very pretty edifying discourse concerning this business but as I informed you before I was not insensible what usage such a mortifying doctrine as Celibacy must of necessity meet amongst the Sons of the Reformation You that have destroy'd Religious houses and to justifie the Sacriledge have always laughed at the austerites which are practised in a recluse life are too far engaged to your dearly-beloved pleasures to entertain a principle that so severely contradicts the dictates of flesh and blood Eugenius Nay Mr. Bays now you have gone a little too far in this matter for we Gentlemen of the Schism as your party is pleased by way of raillery to call us are not so averse to a Monastic life as you imagine For my own particular I wish with all my heart that all the Brain-sick Statesmen all the besotted Lovers and all the melancholly Zealots all the fine-dressing Fops all the doting kind Keepers all the enthusiastick Poets and all the superannuated Whores with the mighty multitudes of raving Philosophers and litigious Attorneys that are to be found in the Kingdom of England Dominion of Wales and Town of Berwick upon Tweed were shut up within the four Walls of some capacious Monastery Now for your diversion Mr. Bays if you please to afford me a hearing I 'll repeat you a certain Ode in Horace done by a certain friend of mine which may serve to convince you that we are not such enemies to Nunneries and all that as you have hitherto believed Bays An Ode in Horace Mr. Eugenius that has any thing to do with Nunneries Why 't is impossible and you are certainly mistaken Eugen. You 'll correct your opinion Mr. Bays as soon as you have heard it 'T is a Translation of Uxor pauperis Ibyci tandem Nequitiae pone modum tuae only somewhat new-modelled and adapted to the present times You must know it was calculated for the meridian of the Dutchess of Cl land but may indifferently serve any super-annuated Court-Whore in Christendom But pray listen I. At length thou Antiquated Whore Leave trading off and sin no more For shame in your old age turn Nun As Whores of everlasting memory have done II. Why do you still frequent the Sport The Balls and Revels of the Court Or why at glitt'ring Masques appear Only to augment and fill the triumphs of the fair III. To Ghent or Brussels strait adjourn The lewdness of your former life to mourn There brawny Priests in plenty you may hire If Whip and wholsome Sack-cloath cannot quench the fire IV. Your Daughter 's for the Amorous business made To her in Conscience quit your trade As when his Conqu'ring days were done Victorious Charles resign'd his Kingdom to his Son V. Alas ne're thrum your long disus'd Guitar Nor with Pulvilio's scent your hair But in some lonely Cell abide With Rosary and Psalter dangling at your side Well now Mr. Bays pray give me your opinion of this same trifle for unless I am mightily mistaken there is a great deal of pious advice in it Bays Pious advice do you call it I 'd give my Snuff-box here which I value above all things in the Universe I'gad that I had that sawcy friend of yours the Author in the room Eugen. Why what wou'd you do with him Mr. Bays wou'd you draw upon him and whip him decently through the Lungs To my certain knowledge all sober counsel is thrown away upon him for 't is a very graceless unrepenting Block-head Bays No I should scarce give my self that trouble But I 'd make him undergo such a course of Pennance that I believe he 'd scarce have a mind to meddle with Horace or any thing that looks like a Nun in haste again Eugen. Then I suppose Mr. Bays to make him do Pennance for his Translation you 'd oblige him to read over your Translation of St. Xavier's Life and if possible to believe it or if a trespass in Rhime must be attoned in Rhime to read over your noble Poem on the Birth of the Prince of Wales twice a day Bays Sir I don't understand why you should use all all this freedom with me 't is an insupportable rudeness I gad and I 'le have no more to with you But Mr. a. you are a Gentleman of a better temper and pray resolve me this single question before we suffer the business of Celibacy to drop has not the Church authority to prescribe what Laws she pleases to all her Sons Now I think I have nick'd you I gad Crites Faith Little Bays I am not willing at present to determine the bounds of the Churches power 't is as invidious a Case as to make me assign the priviledges of the House of Commons which you know encrease every Session a Man will be apt to speak either too little or too much in relation to such an affair However I think the Church had done very discreetly if when she bound over her Sons to the observation of Celibacy she had order'd 'em a dose or two of Camphire every morning instead of so many Prayers and Ave-Maries and commanded 'em to be let Blood every other day that so he might have prevented all the scandalous consequences of a forced Chastity But I find that as Mahomet when he abridged his People the pleasure of Drinking to make 'em amends gratifyed the other appetite by allowing Women in abundance so likewise a certain Church in the World Mr. Bays by placing no very great penalties on Fornication when she repealed the remedy for it and by allowing the Concubine to supply the place of the disbanded Spouse has made Celibacy not so very uneasy a state as People are apt at first sight to imagine And this consideration is sufficient to perswade me that Conscience and Devotion had no hand at all in the promoting of Celibacy let the Divine Law sink or swim 't is not a Farthing matter with you so long as the Papal Decrees are observ'd where smaller trespasses are severely punished and notorious Sins meet with Toleration as