cur'd by them in an unaccountable manner if you will believe them Now Rabelais who as Thuâ—nus says was a most learned and experienced Physician gives us freely to understand that all those Pretenders are so many Cheats who sometimes deceive themselves but generally others For this Reason the first Port of that Island whereat he makes his Fleet touch is Mateâ—techny 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that the study of foolish improfitable Arts Yet he makes those who profess them give thâ—iâ— Country the Name of Eâ—telechy from 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Actus â—eâ—fectâ—â—â— as it is rendred in Aristotle's second Book de Anima Tully Tuscul l 1. would have it to signify a Perpetual Motion Now as several Learned Mâ—n in former Ages have almost as largely descanted upon the Word as some in This have lost Time about the Thing Rabelais reflects upon them for it in this Chapter and at the same time those Grammarians who diâ—pute so â—otly about Words and neglect Things may be 〈…〉 as deserving to be plac'd among those who apply themselves to unprofitable Studies On Chapter 20. RAbelais ridicules here those Empiriâ—â— whose chief Talent is Impudence and Lyes while they pretend to cure â—â— Incurable Diseases and also those who seek an Universal Remedy Rosaâ—â—ucians Disciples of Trismegistus Raimond Lullius Arnold of Villeâ—â—uve and such who are said to have understood the great Work or Arâ—â—num Philosophicum and if you will believe them the only true Sons of Wisdom This makes him say That Queen-Whims cur'd â—â— all manner of Diseases with a Song full as effectually as some Kings rid Mâ—n of the Eâ—il that takes its Name from their Dignity by which he meant that all those pretended Cures are just as solid as a Song and are nothing but vain Talk The Quâ—en's affected pâ—dâ—ntiâ— Speech mimics the way of Talk of some of our Demy-Vertuâ—sa's who cannot think any one speaks well unless he express himself with far-fetch'd Metaphors long Tropes uncommon Words per Ambages tedious Circonlocutions and such fulsom stuff Accordingly we find that Panurge could not tell how to answer her in the same Cant neither did Pantagruel return a word However they din'd never the worse after it while the Queen fed on nothing but Categories Abstractions Second Intentions Metempsycoses Transcendent Prolepsâ—â—s Expressions Deceptions Dreams c. in Greek and Hebrew On Chapter 21. OUR Travellers see the Queen and some of her Subjects who sift searse boult range and pass away Time and revive ancient Sports This reflects on those who wholly apply themselves to the Study of the Customs of the Ancients while many times they are ignorant in those of the Moderns a sort of Book worms some of which conversing with none but the Dead are hardly qualify'd for tho Company of the Living Our Author who seldom forgets the Monks says That one of the Queen's Officers cur'd the Consumptive by turning them into Monks by which means they grew fat and plump What he says of the Nine Gentlemen who were rid of their Poverty having a Rope put about their Necks at the end of which hang'd a Box with Ten thousand Crowns in 't may refer to some in those Times who either had or fanci'd they were to have the Collar of the Order of St. Michael or some other bestow'd on them with a Pension On Chapter 22. THIS Chapter ridicules those who attempt Impossibilities accordingly our Author says they made Blackamoors white rubbing their Bellies with the bottom of a Pannier plow'd a sandy Shoar with three Couples of Foxes in one Yoke and did not lose their Seed which Undertakings have given occasion to several Proverbs among the Ancients to denote Labour in vain as Aâ—thiâ—pem dealbar arenas arare laterem lavare pumice aridius ex asino lanam and othâ—rs which oâ—â— Author has purposely mention'd Some Mathematicians Dialectitians Naturalists and Metaphysicians are ingeniously satiriz'd in this Chapter On Chapter 23. QVeen-Whims or Quintessence's Supper is not more substantial than her Dinner for she eats nothing but Ambrosia drinks nothing but Nectar and the Lords and Ladies that were there far'd on such Diâ—hes as Apicius dream'd of All this is Dream and Poetical Food and consequently of easy Digestion An Olla or Hotch-podge follows which may represent a mixture of confus'd Notions jumbled together The Cards Dice Chequers and Bâ—wls full of Gold for those who would play the Mules in stately Trappings Velvet Litters and Coaches are the vain hopes of those who are subject to Whims and dream of finding the Philosopher's Stone The Queen tastes and chews nothing her Praegustators and Masticators her Tasters and Chewers do that for her and she never visits a Close-stool but by Proxy This signifies That those who employ those Cheats who pretend to make Gold swallow every thing that comes from them without examining the sense of it oâ— chewing the 〈◊〉 upon the matter all goes down glibly with them so greedy they are of possessing such a mighty Secret But the Alchymists whom they trust bestir their Grinders lustily in the mean time and do not feed altogether on Smoke as do their Patroâ—s who are here said never to go to Stool but by Proxy because they are only fed with Words and Promises all vanishes in Smoke The word Spâ—â—ziater signifies one who fairly gets Sâ—â—t from Brass by trying and melting it down On Chapter 24. THE Ball in the manner of a Turnament which was perform'd before the Queen is a most lively and ingenious description of the Game of Chess The Floor of the Hall which is cover'd with a large piece of velveted white and yellow chequer'd Tapistry means the Chequer-Board The 32 young Persons one half drest in Cloth of Gold and the other in Cloth of Silver are the 32 Chess-men Kings Queens Bishops Knights Rooks and Pawns They play three Games the two first are won by the Silver'd King and the last by his Adversary Our Author who cannot â—e too much admir'd for his Art in raising Satirical Reflections of great moment most naturally out of Trifles where they are least to be expected in the midst of this admirable Allegory seems to have reflected upon his King Francis's Rashness which made him be taken Prisoner at the Battel of Pavia For speaking of the Golden Queen who in this Latruncularian War if I may â—se the expression skirmish'd too boldly and was taken he says the rest were soon routed after the taking of their Queen who without doubt from that Time resolv'd to be more wary and not venture so far amidst her Enemies unless with more Forces to defend her He also brought in very pleasantly Cardinal Cusa's Boyish Observation in his Simile on a Top or Gigg and so he has done almost all over this Work He is not less Artful in bringing off his â—antagruelists that they may no longer be hinder'd by Whims from arriving at the Oracle of Truth For he says that while they minded this pleasing Entertainment and were
who seem to have drudg'd all their Youth long only that they might enjoy the sweet blessing of getting Drunk every night in their old Age. But those men of Sense and Honour who love Truth and the good of Mankind in general above all other things will undoubtedly countenance this Work I 'll not gravely insist upon its usefulness having said enough of it in the Preface to the First Part. I 'll only add That as Homer in his Odysses makes his Hero wander ten years through most Parts of the then known World so Rabelais in a Three-months-Voyage makes Pantagruel take a view of almost all sorts of People and Profâ—ssions With this difference however between the Ancient Mythologist and the Modern That while the Odysses has been compar'd to a setting Sun in respect to the Iliads Rabelais's last Work which is this Voyage to the Oracle of the Bottle by which he means Truth is justly thought his Master-piece being writ with more Spirit Salt and Flame than the First Part of his Works At near 70 Years of Age his Genius far from being drain d seem'd to have acquir'd fresh Vigor and new Graces the more it exerted itself like those Rivers which grow more deep large majestic and useful by their course Those who accuse the French of being as sparing of their Wit as lavish of their Words will find an Englishman in our Author I must confess indeed that my Countrymen and other Southern Nations temper the one with the other in a manner as they do their Wine with Water often just dashing the latter with a little of the first Now here Men love to drink their Wine pure nay sometimes it will not satisfy unless in its very quintessence as in Brandies though an Excess of this betrays want of Sobriety as much as an Excess of Wit betrays a want of Judgment But I must conclude lest I be justly tax'd with wanting both I will only add That as every Language has its peculiar Graces seldom or never to be acquir'd by a Foreigner I cannot think I have given my Author those of the English in every place But as none compell'd me to write I fear to ask a Pardon which yet the generous Temper of this Nation makes me hope to obtain Albinus a Roman who had written in Greek desir'd in his Preface to be forgiven his Faults of Language but Cato ask'd in derision Whether any had forc'd him to write in a Tongue of which he was not an absolute Master Lucullus wrote an History in the same Tongue and said He had scatter'd some false Greek in it to let the World know it was the work of a Roman I 'll not say as much of my Writings in which I study to be as little incorrect as the hurry of Business and shortness of Time will permit but I may better say as Tully did of the History of his Consulship which he also had written in Greek That what Errors may be found in the Diction are crept in against my Intent Indeed Livius Andronicus and Terence the one a Greek the other a Carthaginian wrote successfully in Latin and the latter is perhaps the most perfect Model of the Purity and Urbanity of that Tongue But I ought not to hope for the success of those great Men. Yet am I ambitious of being as subservient to the useful Diversion of the Ingenious of this Nation as I can which I have endeavour'd in this Work and still do in my Gentleman's Iournal with Hopes to attempt some greater Tasks if ever I am happy enough to have more Leisure In the mean Time it will not displease me if 't is known that this is given by one who though born and educated in France has the Love and Veneration of a Loyal Subject for this Nation One who by a Fatality which with many more made him say Nos patriam fugimus dulcia linquimus arva Is oblig'd to make the Language of these happy Regions as natural to him as he can and thankfully say with the rest under this Protestant Government Deus nobis haec otia fecit Explanatory Remarks ON THE Prologue to the Fourth Book of Rabelais being the first of the Voyage to the Oracle of the Bottle THE main design of this Prologue is to teach us to be moderate in our Wishes The Author brings several Examples to prove what Advantages arise from it particularly he makes use of a Fable in which after some long but most diverting Excursions the Moderation of a poor Country Fellow who had lost his Hatchet and wish'd only to have it again was largely rewarded and others who lost theirs on purpose to be thus made rich were undone This is thought by some to mean a Gentleman of Poictoâ— who came to Paris with his Wife about some Business where Francis the First fell in Love with her and having bestow'd large Sums of Money on the Husband who some time after return'd into the Country some of the Neighbouring Gentlemen who had handsome Wives or Daughters made their appearance with them at Court in hopes of the like Fortune but instead of it were forc'd to sneak into the Country after they had spent their Estates which was all they got for their pains Jupiter is brought in complaining of Ramus and Galland who surrounded with a swarm of their Scullions Ragamuffins Sizers Vouchers c. set together by the Ears the whole University of Parts Petrus Ramus or de la Ramée was Royal Philosophy and Oratory Professor at that time and Petrus Gallandus or Galland Royal Greek Professor both were Learned Men and Ramus particularly famous for Rhetoric and Oratory he also wrote three Books of Dialectic Institutions But what divided the University was his Elegant but too Passionate Animadversions on Aristotle's Physics and Metaphysics Carpentarius Scheckius and Riolanus answer'd him and particularly the first I cannot find that Gallandus wrote against Ramus yet either he has done it or oppos'd him vivá voce Priapus is of Opinion they ought to be turned into Stone and associated to their Name-sake Master Peter du Coignet formerly petrified for such a Subject This Du Coignet can be no other than Peter de Coigneres the King's Advocate in his Parliament mentioned by Pasquier In 1329 he caus'd all the Prelates of France to be summon'd before King Philip who sat in his Court of Parliâ—ment attended by several Princes and Lords There the Advocate represented many Abuses committed by the Ecclesiastical Court which had encroach'd upon the Parliament's Rights and us'd to take Cognizance of all Civil Matters under divers pretences of Conscience and unjustly favour'd those that appeal'd or remov'd their Causes to the Spiritual Court The Archbishop of Sens and the Bishop of Autun spoke in behalf of the Church's Right grounded on Custome time out of mind and of equal validity to the Law then proffer'd to rectiâ—y every thing and in short so cunningly work'd upon the King that he told them
deriving it from the Hebrew The Etymological Dictionary indeed tells me that Shalom is peace and peaceful in Hebrew and the French pronounce ch as we do sh yet as the Greek hits better the word Cheli and the Sense of the Chapter I stick to it Thus it may be call'd the Island of the Lips or of Compliments King St. Panigon first of the Name reign'd in that large well-peopled fruitful Kingdom and being attended by the Princes his Sons and the Nobles of his Court comes as far as the Port to receive Pantagruel conducts him to his Palace the Queen the Princesses the Court-Ladies receive him at the Gate Panigon makes them all salute Pantagruel and his Men with a Kiss according to the Civil Custom of the Country all the Compliments and Entreaties imaginable are us'd to perswade Pantagruel to stay there a day or two he excuses himself but is not suffer'd to go till he and his Men have drank with the King all this is Compliment Friar Ihon alone inveighs against this formal Stuff antick Postures and nonsensical Fiddle-faddle Cringes Grimaces Scrapes Embraces Leers c. and flinks into the Kitchins where there was something more substantial for a Monk who does not use to feed on empty Talk So tho the Island was Populous Fertile and of large Extent he admires nothing but the Culinary Laboratories the turning of the Spits the harmonious rattling of the Jacks and Fâ—nders and is for criticising on the Position of the Lard the Temperature of the Potages the Preparation for the Desert and the Order of the Wine-Service All the Eleventh Chapter illustrates that Monastical Inclination to frequent Kitchins On Chapter 12 13 14 15 and 16. ALL these Chapters are occasion'd by Pantagruel's passing by Pettifogging and give us an Account of the way of Living of the Apparitors Serjeants and Bailiffs and such inferior Ministers of the Law Nothing can seem dark in what our Author has said of them if we observe what he makes one of Pantagruâ—'s Interpreters or Droggermen relate That at Rome a world of Folk get an honest Livelihood by Poysoning Ribroasting and Stabbing but the Catchpolâ—s earn theirs by being drub'd so that if they were long without a tight Lambasting the poor Dogs with their Wives and Children would even be starv'd Our Author says this because in Francis the first 's and Henry the Second's Reigns That rascally Tribe had no Income so beneficial as that which came to them from a Beating the Nobility thought it so great an Affront to be cited or arrested by that Vermin that they stood too much on their Punctilio and for that reason they severely us'd those Bailiffs or Apparitors who came to them to discharge their Office and who sometimes were sent out of malice So when the Man-catchers who desir'd nothing more than to be bang'd had been misus'd they had swindging Damages to make them amends Rabelais exposes the Folly Villany and Abuse of this Practise on both sides which has been since so will redrest that if the Bailiffs had nothing to depend on but Bastonadoes those necessary Evils would long since have all been starv'd Panurge relates a Story of the Lord of Baschè who found out a way to have those Man-hounds beaten at small cost so furiously that some of them dy'd of their Bruises by which means he rid his House of their Visits and that Lord is here said to have incourag'd his men with a Story of Francis Villon who reveng'd himself securely on Friar Tappecoue or Ticklâ—toby who would not lend a Cope to some of his Players who were to Act the Passion which is acted still every Year in some Parts of Italy As the Betrothing or Nuptials of Baschè grew into a Proverb so from that Viâ—â—on who was a Famous Poet in the Reign of â—ewis the XIth but more famous yet for his Cheats and Villanies than for his Poetry came the word Villoner which has been long us'd to signify to Cheat or play some Rogues Trick I shall have occasion to take notice of him in my Remarks on the last Chapter of the Fourth Book Pantagruel's Companions are told of two of the honestest Men in all Catchpole-Land who were made to cut a Caper on nothing for stealing the Tools of the Mass and hiding them under the Handle of the Parish This must be some Sacrilegious Theft of Church-Plate in those times and by the by we may see what esteem Rabelais had for the Catchpoles since he makes those Rogues the honestest in all that Country Friar Ihon says That this was as mysterious a way of speaking as St. John's de la Palisse de la Palisse is the Name of a Family in France but he means de l' Apocalypse The Handle of the Parish may mean the Steeple of the Church to cut a Caper on nothing is to be hang'd On Chapter 17. FRom Catchpole-Land Pantagruel comes to two Islands which the Author calls Tâ—hu and Bâ—hu from two Hebrew words which I am told are taken out of the first Chapter of Genesis where 't is said The Earth was Tohu va Bohu that is void and in Confusion without Form or Beauty and in short a Chaos This may well be applied to a Country that 's ruin'd by the War the Fury of Soldiers on one side and the Exactions of Chiefs many times leaving little or nothing behind them This makes Rabelaâ—â— say That the Devil a bit they could find any thing there to fry â—ith which is an Expression often us'd by the French when they would say There is no subsisting in a place The Giant Bringuâ—arilâ—es or Wide-nostrils had taken away the means of frying there by devouring every individual Pan Skillet Kettle Frying-pan Dripping-pan and Brass and Iron Pot in the Land for want of Wind-mills which us'd to be his daily Food By this Giant we may understand those Gigantick Bodies of Mâ—n vast Armies that bring Terror and Destruction with them where-ever they come and in particular those roaring Hectors Free-booters Desperadoes and Bullying-huff-snuffs for the most part like those whom Tacitus stiles Hâ—spitibus tantum metuendi who at the beginning of the War or Campaign live profusely at the Husbandman's cost but when the poor Boor has been ruin'd by those unwelcome Guâ—sts they even destroy and in a manner devour the Straw of the Beds and the Pans Kettles and in short whatever comes in their way Rabelais tells us That at last Gaffer Widâ—nostails was choak'd with eating a huge lump of fresh Butter at the Mouth of a hot Oven by the Advice of Physitians which very well represents the destiny of those swaggering Bravoes who when the War is over too often either take to the Highway and other bad Courses for which they are choak'd sometimes for as inconsiderable matters as a lump of Butter taken from a Higler or else being reduc'd to live obscurely on a narrow Fortune wast and pine away by the Chimny-corner half-starv'd with their small Pittance and lead a
Vow Perhaps this is also design'd to ridicule the Vows and behaviour of Seamen in a Storm Pantagruell's holding the Mast of the Ship tight with both his hands all the while by the Skipper's advice implies that as the Family of Navarre and particularly Anthony of Bâ—urbon was best able to protect the Great Ones who were imbark'd together for a Reformation it was fit he should do it with all his Power and accordingly Du Tillet tells us that none but Miserables poor Wretches suffer'd If any one will say that perhaps Rabelais did not in this Voyage mean any particular Persons I hope at least they 'll grant he has admirably describ'd the different Behaviour of most men in danger and chiefly in persecuting Times On Chapter 25 26 27 and 28. THE Island of the Macreons where the Fleet went into Harbour after the Storm signifies the Island where men are long-liv'd It s Eldest Elderman is nam'd Maâ—robâ—us or long-liv'd We are told in the 26th Chapter that it was in the Dominions of the Ruler of Britain consequently it was a safe Port against the Tempest of Persecution the Reformation being openly profess'd at that time in England under King Edward the Sixth This causes Rabelais to make his persecuted Fleet take shelter there and to say that men liv'd long in that Island because none were put to death on account of their Religion The Ruins of Temples Obelisks Pyramids Ancient Tombs and Monuments which they see there denote the Decay Downfal and Ruin of Popery unfrequented and left in a dismal solitude The Souls of the Heroes who are lodg'd in those Ruin'd Mansions are the true Christians who had cast off the Yoke of Popery and of the blind Worship of Saints many of them Fabulous to which the Superstition of the Papists had made them raise Temples Obelisks and Monuments as formerly the Heathens did to their false gods The Old Macrobius says That the Death of one of those Heroes had occasion'd the Storm by which our Author gives us to understand that Troubles and Commotions are often rais'd in Kingdoms at the death of those Eminent Persons who have govern'd them under their Kings and probably he may have had a mind to mark the death of Margaret de Valois Queen of Navarre Sister to King Francis the first which happen'd towards the latter end of the Year 1549. about a year after the Lady Jane d' Albret Princess of Navarre had been married to Anthony de Bourbon Duke of Vendosme Rabelais's Pantagruel That Princess who had always protected the Reformers and the Reform'd as has been observ'd in the Preface to the first Three Books was not less eminent by her Piety Wit Learning and Virtue than by her Royal Extraction Valentine d' Alsmois a French Lady made the following Epitath for her Musarum decima Charitum quarta inclyta Regum Et soror conjux Margaris illa jacet On Chapter 29 30 31 and 32. THE Sneaking Island which Pantagruel sail'd by when he left that of the Macreons is the Dwelling of Shrovetide by which we must understand Lent For the Ecclesiastics of the Church of Rome begin their Lent before the Layity Shrove-tuesday is to them a Day of Humiliation and is properly the time when men are shriven Our Author calls it Quaresmeprenant that is the Beginning of Quadragesima in opposition to Mardigras Shrovetuesday The Cardinal de Lorraine says a Book call'd l' Heraclite Francois made three Clergymen in a manner Titular Bishops of Metz Toul and Verdun reserving the whole Income of those Bishopricks to himself and leaving them little of them besides the Title of Bishops For this reason they were call'd les Evesques de Caresmeprenant because they look'd as meager and starv'd as if it had been Lent with them all the year But I cannot think that our Author reflects here on that Cardinal His Design seems rather to expose the Superstition of the Papists about Lent and how much the practise of it their way shock'd good Sense This made him run on for two or three Chapters with an odd description of that Ridiculous Monster and probably also to secure himself from the Informations of his Prying Enemies by that mixture of Comical seeming Nonsense For as in the time of Lent the Superstition Grimaces and Hypocrisy of the Papists are most observable and they look on it in a manner as the Basis of the Christian Religion 't would have been dangerous to have attack'd them openly in Point We find that the wise Xenomanes one of Pantagruel's most experienced Companions advises him not to go where Shrovetide reign'd and says it would be much out of their way to the Oracle of Truth that there is very lean Cheer at his Court that he is a double Shaveling Banner-bearer to the Fish-eating Tribe a Flogger of little Children because Papists do pennance and whip themselves then a Calciner of Ashes because of Ash-wednesday that he swarms with Pardons Indulgences and Stations which makes the Author say in the 31st Chapter that Shrovetide being married to Mid-lent only begot a good number of Local Adverbs that is the Stations the Churches and Chappels whither the gull'd Mob must go whence they come and through which they must pass to gain the Indulgences We are told besides that he never assists at Weddings but give the Devil his dâ—e the most industrious Larding-stick and Scure-maker in forty Kingdoms because the Butchers have then little else to do but to make some Lent is an Enemy to Sawsidges and Chitterlings because as well as all other Flesh I mean dead Flesh the People are forbid to taste of any then Friar Ihon always daring and hasty is for destroying Lent but Panurge still fearful and wary is not of his mind Rabelais calls that Island Tapinois that word in French is generally us'd adverbially with the Preposition en to signify an underhand way of acting Some derive it from the Greek Verb 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 humilem reddo and so it suits with the true design of Lent to humble man and make him look sneakingly Besides Lent sneaking in some years sooner and others later may also for that reason well be said to dwell in Tapinois The Ingenious Fable of Nature and her Counterpart is brought iâ— to shew that those who enjoin things that shock Nature as is the Church of Rome â—s way of keeping Lent have the confidence 〈◊〉 make Laws contrary to those of God and the Impudence to pretend to justify them by Reason So Rabelais tells us That Antiphysts the Mother of Lâ—nt begot also thâ— Evesdropping Dissenâ—â—â—â—rs Superstitious Popâ—mongers and Priest-ridden Bigots Scrapers of Benefices mad Herb-stinking Hermits Gulligutted Dunces of the Coul Church-vermin Devourers of the Substance of men and other deform'd and ill-favour'd Monsters made in spight of Nature On Chapter 33 and 34. THE Monstrous Physeter or Whirlpool a huge Fish which dies of the Wounds given him by Pantagruel near the Wild Island where liv'd
Pantagruel to the Mayor I rather take them to be Foes in our Country a Woman would take this as a mortal affront Good People of t'other World reply'd the Mayor you have few such and so near Relations as this Gun and Scowerer are to one another for they both came out of one Shop What was the Shop their Mother quoth Panurge What Mother said the Mayor does the Man mean That must be some of your Worlds Affinity we have here neither Father nor Mother Your little paultry fellows that live on t'other side the Water poor Rogues Booted with wisps of Hay may indeed have such but we scorn it The good Pantagruel stood gazing and listning but at those words he had like to have lost all Patience 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 M. Having very exactly viewed the Situation of the Island and the way of living of the Ennased Nation we went to take a Cup of the Creature at a Tavern where there happen'd to be a Wedding after the manner of the Country bating that shocking Custom there was special good Chear While we were there a pleasant Match was struck up bewixt a Female call'd Pear a tight thing as we thought but by some who knew better things said to be quaggy and flabby and a young soft Male call'd Cheese somewhat sandy In our Country indeed we say Il ne fut one tel marriage qu'est de la Poire du Fremage There 's no Match like that made between the Pear and the Cheese and in many other places good store of such Bargains have been driven Besides when the Women are at their last Prayers 't is to this day a noted saying That after Cheese comes nothing In another Room I saw them marrying an old greasy Boot to a young pliable Buskin Pantagruel was told that young Buskin took old Boot to have and to hold because she was of special Leather in good case and wax'd sear'd liquor'd and greas'd to the purpose even though it had been for the Fisherman that went to Bed with his Boots on In another Room below I saw a young Brogue taking a young Slipper for better for worse Which they told us was neither for the sake of her Piety Parts or Person but for the fourth comprehensive P. Portion the Spankers Spur Royals Rose-Nobles and other Coriander Seed with which she was quilted all over CHAP. X. How Pantagruel went ashoar at the Island of Chely where he saw King St. Panigon WE sail'd right before the Wind which we had at West leaving those odd Alliancers with their Ace of Clubs Snouts and having taken height by the Sun stood in for Chely a large Fruitful Wealthy and well Peopled Island King St. Panigon first of the Name Reign'd there and attended by the Princes his Sons and the Nobles of his Court came as far as the Port to receive Pantagruel and conducted him to his Palace near the Gate of which the Queen attended by the Princesses her Daughters and the Court Ladies received us Panigon directed her and all her Retinue to salute Pantagruel and his Men with a Kiss for such was the Civil Custom of the Country and they were all fairly buss'd accordingly except Fryar Jhon who stept aside and sneak'd off among the King's Officers Panigon us'd all the entreaties imaginable to perswade Pantagruel to tarry there that day and the next but he would needs be gone and excus'd himself upon the opportunity of Wind and Weather which being oftener desir'd than enjoy'd ought not to be neglected when it comes Panigon having heard these reasons let us go but first made us take off some five and twenty or thirty Bumpers each Pantagruel returning to the Port miss'd Fryar Jhon and ask'd why he was not with the rest of the Company Panurge could not tell how to excuse him and would have gone back to the Palace to call him when Fryar Jhon overtook them and merrily cry'd Long live the Noble Panigon as I love my Belly he minds good Eating and keeps a Noble House and a dainty Kitchin I have been there Boys every thing goes about by dozens I was in good hopes to have stuffed my Puddings there like a Monk What! always in a Kitchin Friend said Pantagruel By the Belly of St. Cramcapon quoth the Fryar I understand the Customs and Ceremonies which are used there much better than all the formal Stuff antick Postures and nonsensical Fidlefadle that must be us'd with those Women magni magna Shittencumshita Cringes Grimaces Scrapes Bowes and Congées double Honours this way tripple Salutes that way the Embrace the Grasp the Squeese the Hug the Leer the Smack baso los manos de vostra merce de vostra Maesta You are most tarabin tarabaâ— Stront that 's down right Dutch why all this ado I don't say but a Man might be for a bit by the by and away to be doing as well as his Neighbours but this little nasty Cringing and Curtising made me as mad as any March Devil You talk of kissing Ladies by the Worthy and Sacred Frock I wear I seldom venture upon 't lest I be serv'd as was the Lord of Guyercharcis What was it said Pantagruel I know him he is one of the best Friends I have He was invited to a Sumptuous Feast said Fryar Jhon by a Relation and Neighbour of his together with all the Gentlemen and Ladies in the Neighbourhood Now some of the latter expecting his coming drest the Pages in Womens Cloths and finified them like any Babies then order'd them to meet my Lord at his coming near the Draw-bridge so the Complementing Monsieur came and there kiss'd the Petticoated Lads with great formality At last the Ladies who minded passages in the Gallery burst out with laughing and made signs to the Pages to take off their dress which the good Lord having observed the Devil a bit he durst make up to the true Ladies to kiss them but said That since they had disguis'd the Pages by his Great Grand-father's Helmet these were certainly the very Foot-men and Grooms still more cunningly disguis'd Ods Fish da Jurandâ— why do not we rather remove our humanities into some good warm Kitchin of God that Noble Laboratory and there admire the turning of the Spits the harmonious rattling of the Jacks and Fenders criticise on the Position of the Lard the temperature of the Potages the preparation for the Dessert and the order of the Wine Service Beati Immaculati in via matter of Breviary my Masters CHAP. XI Why Monks love to be in Kitchins THIS said Epistemon is spoke like a true Monk I mean like a right Mâ—nking Monk not a bemonk'd monastical Monkling Truly you put me in mind of some passages that happen'd at Florence some twenty Years ago in a Company of studious Travellers fond of visiting the Learned and seeing the Antiquities of Italy among whom I was As we view'd the situation and beauty of Florence the structure of the Dome the Magnificence of the
Mice Which made him ask Xenomanes what kind of Creatures these were taking them for Squirrels Weâ—sels Martins or Hermins They are Chitterlings reply'd Xenomanes This is the Wild Island or which I spoke to you this morning There hath been an irreconcilable War this long time between them and Shrovetide their malicious and ancient Enemy I believe that the noise of the Guns which we fir'd at the Physetere hath alarm'd 'em and made them fear their Enemy was come with his Forces to surprise them or lay the Island waste as he hath often attempted to do though he still came off but blewly by reason of the care and vigilance of the Chitterlings who as Dido said to Aeneas's Companions that would have landed at Carthage without her Leave or Knowledge were forc'd to watch and stand upon their Guard considering the malice of their Enemy and the Neighbourhood of his Territories Pray dear Friend said Pantagruel if you find that by some honest means we may bring this War to an end and reconcile them together give me notice of it I will use my endeavours in it with all my Heart and spare nothing on my side to moderate and accommodate the points in dispute between both Parties That 's impossible at this time answer'd Xenomanes About four years ago passing Incognito by this Country I endeavour'd to make a Peace or at least a long Truce among them and I had certainly brought them to be good Friends and Neighbours if both one and the other Parties would have yielded to one single Article Shrovetide would not include in the Treaty of Peace the Wild Puddings nor the Highland Sawsages their ancient Gossips and Confederates The Chitterlings demanded that the Fort of Caques might be under their Government as is the Castle of Sulloaoir and that a parcel of I don't know what stinking Villains Murtherers Robbers that held it then should be expell'd But they could not agree in this and the terms that were offer'd seem'd too hard to either Party So the Treaty broke off and nothing was done Nevertheless they became less severe and gentler Enemies than they were before But since the denunciation of the National Council of Chesil whereby they were roughly handled hamper'd and cited whereby also Shrovetide was declar'd filthy beshitten and beray'd in case he made any League or Agreement with them they are grown wonderfully inveterate Incens'd and Obstinate against one another and there is no way to remedy it You might sooner reconcile Cats and Rats or Hounds and Hares together CHAP. XXXVI How the Wild Chitterlings layd an Ambuscado for Pantagruel WHile Xenomenes was saying this Fryar Jhon spy'd twenty five or thirty young slender-shap'd Chitterlings posting as fast as they could towards their Town Citadel Castle and Fort of Chimney and said to Pantagruel I smell a Rat there will be here the Devil upon two sticks or I am much out These Worshipful Chitterlings may chance to mistake you for Shrovetide though you are not a bit like him Let us once in our lives leave our Junketing for a while and put our selves in a posture to give 'em a Belly full of fighting if they would be at that sport There can be no false Latin in this said Xenomanes Chitterlings are still Chitterlings always double hearted and treacherous Pantagruel then arose from Table to visit and scoure the Thicket and return'd presently having discover'd on the left an Ambuscade of squob Chitterlings and on the right about half a League from thence a large Body of huge Giant-like arm'd Chitterlings rang'd in Battalia along a little Hill and marching furiously towards us at the sound of Bagpipes Sheep's-Paunches and Bladders the merry Fifes and Drums Trumpets and Clarions hoping to catch us as Moss caught his Mare By the conjecture of seventy eight Standards which we told we guess'd their number to be two and forty thousand at a modest computation Their Oâ—der proud Gate and resolute Looks mâ—de us judge that they were none of your raw paultry Links but old Warlike Chitterlings and Sawsages From the foremost Ranks to the Colours they were all arm'd Cap a pié with small Arms as we reckoned them at a distance yet very sharp and case-harden'd Their right and left Wings were lin'd with a great number of Forrest-Puddings heavy Patti-pans and Horse Sawsages all of them tall and proper Islanders Banditti and Wild. Pantagruel was very much daunted and not without cause tho' Epistemon told him that it might be the use and custom of the Chitterlâ—â—gonians to welcom and receive thus in Arms their foreign Friends as the Noble Kings of France are received and salâ—ted at their first coming into the chief Cities of the Kingdom after their advancement to the Crown Perhaps said he it may be the usual Guard of the Queen of the place who having notice given her by the Junior Chitterlings of the Forlorn-hope whom you saw on the Tree of the arrival of your fine and pompous Fleet hath judg'd that it was without doubt some rich and potent Prince and is come to visit you in Person Pantagruel little trusting to this call'd a Council to have their advice at large in this doubtful case He briefly shew'd them how this way of reception with Arms had often under colour of Complement and Friendship been fatal to the Parties so receiv'd Thus said he the Emperor Antonius Caracalla at one time destroy'd the Citizens of Alexandria and at another time cut off the Attendants of Artabanus King of Persia under color of Marrying his Daughter which by the way did not pass unpunished for a while after this cost him his life Thus Jacob's Children destroy'd the Sichemites to revenge the Rape of their Sister Dina. By such another hypocritical trick Galienus the Roman Emperour put to death the Military Men in Constantinople Thus under colour of Friendship Antonius inticed Artavasdes King of Armenia then having caused him to be bound in heavy Chains and shackled at last put him to death We find a thousand such instances in History and K. Charles the 6th is justly commended for his Prudence to this day in that coming back Victorious over the Ghenters and other Flemmings to his good City of Paris and when he came to Bourget a League from thence hearing that the Citizens with their Mallets whence they got the name of Maillotius were March'd out of Town in Battalia twenty thousand strong he would not go into the Town till they had laid down their Arms and retir'd to their respective homes tho' they protested to him that they had taken Arms with no other design than to receive him with the greater demonstration of Honour and Respect CHAP. XXXVII How Pantagruel sent for Colonel Mawl-Chitterling and Colonel Cut-Pudding with a discourse well worth your hearing about the Names of places and persons THE resolution of the Councill was that let things be how they would it behov'd the Pantagruelists to stand upon their Guard Therefore Carpalim and