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A89049 Musarum deliciƦ: or, The Muses recreation. Conteining severall select pieces of sportive vvit. / By Sr J.M. and Ja:S. Mennes, John, Sir, 1599-1671.; Smith, James, 1605-1667.; Herringman, Henry, d. 1704,; H. H. 1655 (1655) Wing M1710; Thomason E1672_1; ESTC R202916 33,905 95

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you all good night I 'le tell how 't may properly be sed Though you are up yet I am going to bed Poetaster My slumbring Muse upon thy drowsie bed Rest once againe thine unattired head Where for thy great Mecenas so commands Thy best assayes with saporiferous bands While darknesse did thine outward senses blind Tell me what fancies did usurp thy minde Muse What think you Sir while sleep enthral'd my head What subject could I have except my bed Poetaster A bed no subject to be written on But lain yea by the Muses tread upon Muse The pillow from the bed I think's not farre And yet on that were written T. and R. But to be lien on right I like it well For why in lying Poets bear the Bell And to be trod upon t is not unmeet The Muses scand their subjects with their feet Poetaster The R. O muse thou there saw'st to be brief Was nothing but a Rogue the T. a Thief In the next verse but two I blush to tell Thou first broughtst forth a Lie then a Bell. Take heed of Libels Muse thy Poet feares If thy feet stumble he may lose his eares To sever Theives and Poets I am loath Because I know Mercurius was both Muse Within thy verses as Birds of a feather Liars rogues thieves and Muses flock together By whom I 'm softly to my subject led For flocks and feathers do fill up the bed Bacchus his merry boules may humour breed But divine raptures from the bed proceed Let the Pot Poets in their fury try With dipping their Malignant pens to dry The Muses fountain my inventions streams Can nevr faile while beds procure me dreams If we one Science justly may admire What shall we here where all the Seven conspire The letters on the pillow witnesse may That on this bed some Grammer lately lay In Logick also it must needs be able For 't was a Cord would make a pretty Cable That beds have Rhetorick we need not fear While to his pillow each man lends his eare Who number all the feathers in it can Must be a good Arithmetitian The joynts cry creek when on them any lie As if the stocks hung by Geometry Its musick sure is pleasant which can keep In spight of snorting eyes and eares asleep The bed I take for deep Astronomy Which alwaies studies to eclipse the eye If you seek Planets this is Vulcans gin That Mars and Venus were so fetter'd in Astrologie in this doth also dwell For men by Dreames may future things foretell To read strong lines if any minde be bent Herein the bed can also give content Not sage Apollo nor the sacred Nine Can then this Bed-cord shew a stronger line Methinkes l 'me very sleepy still and loath To rise but that I 've on me ne're a cloath 'T was T. and R. as sure 's I live 't was they That stole the Coverlet and Sheets away Out a Roap choak you both y' are arrant knaves I 'de knock you soundly had I but Bed-staves Epilogue IF ought obscure you in my Verses marke Poets use not their Beds but in the darke If false or foolish any thing you deem Sith't came from Bed account it for a Dream If in my Verses boldly any catches The Bed my subject was as full of patches The blurs and blots I make let none disdaine The Bed in one place had an ugly staine If my unpollish't lines being dull and dry Doe make you heavy I will tell you why Some sudjects make men laugh some make them weep But the Bed-post is to bring all asleep A Letter to Sir John Mennis when the Parliament denied the King Money to pay the Army unlesse a Priest whom the King had reprieved might be executed Sir John at that time wanting the Money for provisions for his troop desired me by his Letter to goe to the Priest and to perswade him to dye for the good of the Army saying What is 't for him to hang an houre To give an Army strength and power The Reply BY my last Letter Iohn thou see'st What I have done to soften Priest Yet could not with all I could say Perswade him hang to get thee pay Thou Swad quoth he I plainly see The Army wants no food by thee Fast oftner friend or if you 'l eate Use Oaten straw or straw of Wheat They 'l serve to moderate thy jelly And which it needs take up thy belly As one that in a Taverne breaks A Glasse steales by the Barre and sneaks At this rebuke with no lesse haste I Trudg'd from the Priest and Prison nasty The truth is he gave little credit To'th' Armies wants because I said it And if you 'l presse it further Iohn 'T is fit you send a leaner man For thou with ease can'st friends expose For thy behoof to fortunes blows Suppose we being found together Had pass'd for Birds of the same feather I had perchance been shrewdly shent And maul'd too by the Parliament Have you beheld th' unlucky Ape For roasted Chesnuts mump and gape And off'ring at them with his pawes But loath he is to scorch his clawes When viewing on the Hearth asleep A Puppy gives him cause to weep To spare his owne he takes his help And rakes out Nuts with foot of whelp Which done as if 't were all but play Your Name-sake looks another way The Cur awakes and findes his thumbs In paine but knows not whence it comes He takes it first to be some Cramp And now he spreads now licks his vamp Both are in vaine no ease appeares What should he doe he shakes his eares And hobling on three legs he goes Whining away with aking toes Not in much better case perhaps I might have been to serve thy chaps And have beshrew'd my fingers end For groping so in cause of friend While thou wouldst munch like horse in Manger And reach at Nuts with others danger Yet have I ventur'd farre to serve My friend that sayes he 's like to sterve The Fart censured in the Parliament House PUffing down coms grave antient Sir Io. Crook And reads his message promptly without book Very well quoth Sir William Morris so But Harry Ludlows foysting Arse cry'd no Then starts up one fuller of devotion Then eloquence and sayes An ill motion Nay by my Faith quoth Sir Henry Ienkin The motion were good wer 't not for stinking Quoth Sir Henry Pool 'T is an audacious trick To Fart in the Face of the body Politick Now without doubt quoth Sir Edward Grevil I must confesse it was very uncivill Thank God quoth Sir Edward Hungerford That this Fart prov'd not a Turd Indeed quoth Sir Iohn Trevor it gave a foule knock As it launch'd forth from his stinking Dock I quoth another it once so chanced That a great Man Farted as he daunced Quoth Sir Richard Haughton no Justice of Quorum But would take it in snuffe t' have a fart let before'um Such a fart as this ne're before was seen