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A43913 The history of the amours of the Marshal de Boufflers, or, A true account of the love-intriegues and gallant adventures which have been privately carry'd on by him ever since he first obtain'd a command in the French king's armies till his marriage with Mademoiselle de Grammont the whole relation being faithfully translated into English out of the French original lately publish'd at Paris.; Histoire des amours du mareschal de Bouflers. English D. P. E. 1697 (1697) Wing H2143B; ESTC R40990 148,763 322

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surprising than the former and which seems to contain somewhat supernatural in its kind It is a Venice Looking-glass which represents People that look into it stark naked If I were Monsieur de Boufflers I wou'd go thither with Mademoiselle de Grammont This Looking-glass will give him a faithful representation of those Beauties which young Ladys take so much pains to hide from their Lovers And at once looking only in the Glass with his Mistress he may learn more in one Moment than two Months Courtship and serious Conversation are able to teach him Away away with these Triffles answer'd Mademoiselle de Grammont with a charming and pleasant Air the Marshal has no occasion either for a Confident or for a Looking-Glass to discover my Defects He is wise enough of himself not to be surpris'd or to be impos'd upon Ladys reply'd the Duke du Maine since these pieces of Gallantry do put you out of Humour come let us have a touch at Morality The Abbot said he shew'd me among the rest another Piece which was no less surprising than the former and as far as I remember I never saw any thing finer and more curious in my Life time Well let us hear what it is said Monsieur de Boufflers but let me desire you Sir not to offer any thing to affront the fair Sex I must needs tell you that I am so very nice in that point that I declare to you I shall be ready to revenge their Quarrel and even not to grudge to employ my Sword in their just Defence if there shou'd be occasion for it Wherefore Sir added he smiling and you had best have a care what you do No no reply'd the Duke du Maine this has no relation more to one Sex than the other but all People are concern'd in it The Abbot Tallement shew'd me a large Painting divided into three Columns In the middle Column on the right hand was represented first of all our Holy Father the Pope as being the Chief of the Church after him follow all the Cardinals Arch-bishops Bishops Prelates Abbots Curates and in general all the rest of the Members of the Clergy In the Column on the right side you might see a great many Portraitures representing Temporal Princes as Emperors Monarchs Kings and other Princes follow'd by the Nobility and a multitude of Courtiers The Column which was on the left side was fill'd up with the third Estate representing the Courts of Justice where you might see the Pictures of Lords Chief Justices and Judges Masters of the Rolls Counsellors Attorneys Sollicitors Notaries Tipstaffs Serjeants and such like So that this whole Piece was fill'd up with an infinite number of all sorts of Persons belonging to the three Estates every one in his Habit according to the rank he bore in the Church in the State or in the Courts of Judicature The Abbot after I had taken notice of the Medley desir'd me to put one Eye to a Hole at one end of the Picture and from thence to look upon the Cylinder which he had plac'd opposite to it at the other end of it All these different Objects having made a reflection upon the Cylinder of polish'd Steel this Instrument did represent no otherwise than in a Looking-glass a Death's Head extremely well done to put us in mind of the end of all Mortal Men who in what station soever must all pay this last Tribute to Nature I assure you said Monsieur Boufflers this seems to me to be one of the most curious Pieces that ever was made in the World and I will give you my Word that Mademoiselle de Grammont and I will to Morrow do our selves the Honour to go and wait upon the Abbot and take a view of all his Curiosities But that which is most admirable in this Piece is added the Duke du Maine that if you cover any part of these Pictures contain'd in the three Columns with your Hand the Death's Head which is reflected in the Cylinder appears defective and there is some part or another of it wanting to convince us that none can be exempted from the unavoidable necessity of Dying We entreat you said the Ladies directing their Discourse to the Duke du Maine let us not talk any more of this doleful and frightful Subject Death Let us rather return to our Jollities and divert our selves with some Pleasant Story or another they are most seasonable at this time when we are met together on purpose to be merry and pleasant Mademoiselle de Grammont is most concern'd in the matter and it is chiefly upon her account that the Ladys desire it Because you will have it so said the Duke du Maine I will relate to you another very extraordinary Story which perhaps you will look upon as one of the most refin'd pieces of Necromancy the whole being altogether full of Gallantry The Abbot continu'd he having given us a view of all the Rarities in his Closet took me on one side whispering me in the Ear. Pray my Lord bring the Ladys who came along with you into this Spacious Appartment I have a mind to shew you the Master-piece of all my Rarities but don't you speak one word to 'em you will divert your self extremely provided you let 'em know nothing of the matter because they will perhaps be unwilling to see this Curiosity which indeed will be very well worth your trrouble and will undoubtedly give you more satisfaction than any thing that you saw before I went therefore to fetch in the Ladys and having taken the Dutchess de Chevreuse by the Hand to lead her into a very fair and spacious Room which was just by the rest of the Ladys follow'd us thither No sooner were we all enter'd the Room but the Abbor having drawn a Curtain and open'd certain Windows we look'd into a great Plain which extended it self beyond our Sight and which appear'd to us to be one of the best and fairest Landskips in the World Sir said the Abbot to me do you see that Country-man and young Country-damsel there in the Meadows I will make 'em come hither in an instant in the same moment that I give the Word of Command they shall come and present themselves in this Looking-glass This was an extraordinary fine Venice-glass of about six Foot high cover'd with a green Curtain the Ladys who suspected some trick or another began to laugh but at the same time gave the Abbot to understand that they were very impatient to see the issue of it because the Peasant and the Damsel were at above a Mile's distance from us The Abbot to satisfie the curiosity of the Ladys who were very eager took a Speaking Trumpet the Invention of Sir Samuel Moreland an English Knight and pronounc'd these Words You young Damsel pull off your shoes and come hither The Damsel obey'd immediately and at that very instant appear'd in the Looking-glass For the Abbot having drawn away the Curtain which cover'd the
Boufflers let us leave these moral Reflections to the Priests Father Bourdalou takes care to furnish the Ladies with 'em in his Sermons Let us hear the end of your Story Whatever pains I took continu'd the Count to obtain from this inhumane Creature the last favour it was all to no manner of purpose so 15 days were spent in vain Attacks and the more Bravery and Eagerness I shew'd to assault the Place the oftner was I repuls'd with Vigor the Governess of the Fort taking as much Pride in defending it as the Vestal Virgins did heretofore in preserving the sacred Fire But pray observe what another trick she plaid me to free herself from my importunities She having therefore again advised with Pasquette her Chambermaid who is as unlucky as a Daemon and more ingenious at a contrivance than Ariadne this cursed Megaera made her a Puppet about the same bigness as my Wife and because I had been so cautious as to get the Key of that private door behind my Bed into my own Custody they had by somemeans or another procur'd a false one by the help of which they intended to deceive me tho I were as watchful as Argus One night supposing that no body was with me in Bed but this cruel fair One and turning my self towards her I found in her place this Puppet which they had taken care to dress up very neatly Thus for several nights together my Wife was accustom'd to undress her self before me so that when I thought my self most sure of her I found in her place a piece of Wood as cold as Ice O Sir not to interrupt your Discourse said Monsieur Boufflers this was most convenient to quench your flame 'T is true Sir reply d the Count but a Block of Wood is a very insipid thing for a passionate Lover If you had been in my place you would I believe with all your Stratagems Bombs and Fire-works have been put to a Non plus You might have planted your Cannon and fixt your Mortars according to the most exact Rules of the best Ingineers of the Kindgom you would have miss d your aim for all this and that too some hundred paces beyond the mark and if at last you had not turn'd Fool you must have had very good luck Sir reply'd Monsieur Boufflers the Art of War is of little use in Expeditions of this nature The Subtilty of a Fox and the Nimbleness of a Cock are sufficient qualifications for such Exploits these will make the Pullets dance after their Pipe take this Doctrine from me Sir as old an Engineer as you are Sir reply'd the Count you are just at the point of giving us some proofs of your Bravery Time and opportunity will questionless inform us with what skill you shall have brought your self off these Quick-sands where the most able Seamen have often suffer'd Shipwrack But Sir said the Dutchess of Artagnan whilst all the rest of the Ladies were laughing out and what issue had this fatal Adventure Madam answer'd the Count the end of the Story is that it cost me a vast series of cruel sufferings which made me lead a languishing Life like a poor condemned Wretch for the space of six months insomuch that I was verily perswaded that this time of Pennance ought infallibly to deliver me from the pains of Purgatory if I should be condemn'd to go thither after my death for I give you my word for it that all the torments of Hell cannot exceed those pains which we endure by the cruelty of a charming Beauty so much belov'd and admir'd as this unlucky Creature was by me pointing with his finger to the Countess his Spouse who laugh'd open-mouth'd when she saw her Husband relate this Story with so much concern But you have forgot my dear Husband said she to tell us the circumstances of our Reconciliation You are in the right on 't my dear Child said the Count but give me but leave to cough and to cleanse my Lungs a little and then Mr. Preacher will begin where he left off before Having thus suffered all this cruel usage which I have just now related to you and having taken no rest day or night for a considerable time I told my Mother-in-law frankly and plainly That I was resolved to give her her Daughter again as good as I had found her if by her authority she could not prevail upon her to accommodate her sentiments to the State of Matrimony The Marchioness being moved by my complaints at last resolved to call an Assembly of Ladies of her next Relations and having given an account to 'em of her Daughters aversion to the Conjugal Bed and to all Men whatever she order'd a most magnificent Collation which was to be the preparative of one of the most famous General Councils that ever was held among Women At last after the Doors of the Appartment where these Ladies were assembled were shut up close the Defendant was call'd up to appear before her Judges where she was examin'd concerning the present state of her natural Parts to see whether she were an Hermaphrodite or whether she had some other impediment which might exclude her from the enjoyment of the Conjugal Union All Parts thereabouts having been found in a very good condition and conformable to the Rules of Anatomy according to the report made by a certain expert Matron who was sent for on purpose to assist at this Inquisition and the Generation-box being found without blemish they past on to Interrogatories The Marchioness my Wife's Mother being there present in quality of my Lady Chief Justice demanded of her Daughter What was the reason that she refus'd to live as a marry'd Woman ought to do with a Man whom Heaven and she had given her for her Husband there being nothing wanting in her Person which Nature had bestow'd on the rest of her Sex for the bringing forth of Children especially since the Count her Husband was a Man of a very considerable Estate and Quality descended from one of the most ancient and noble Families in France She added That the hopes of begetting lawful Heirs was the only motive that induc'd him to desire her in Marriage there being otherwise a considerable disproportion in their Age that he grounded his opinion upon her being so young and descended from a fruitful Family for which two reasons he thought himself sure of Children that might inherit his Estate And finally that he was the last of his Family which was the chief consideration that had made him resolve to marry at that Age. The poor Child answer'd her Mamma that the Count had so frightned her that she would much rather go into a Nunnery than to let that be sacrific'd which was the most precious to her in the World meaning her Maiden-head How Daughter what do you mean by this said her Mother full of indignation Explain your self what reasons have you for so doing Mamma answer'd the young Countess my Husband told me