PSALMES OF CONFESSION found in the Cabinet of the most excellent King of Portingal Don Antonio first of that name written with his owne hand Wherein the Sinner calleth vpon the mercie of God for his sinne Translated out of the Latine copie printed at Paris by Federike Morell LONDON Printed by G. Bishop R. Nuberie and R. Barker Anno Domini 1596. PSALMES OF CONFESSION wherein the Sinner calleth vpon the mercie of God for his sinne PSALM I. WHo shal giue water vnto Esai 9. my head and a fountaine of teares for mine eyes that I may be able to lament and bewayle the losses of my soule with griefe agreeable thereunto for there is a manifest and great cause of sorowe when with the sight of my minde I behold mine auncient dayes and my youthfull yeeres in this meditation my Psal 76. spirite hath failed me for I Psal 79. knowe what I was yea rather what I should haue beene and vnderstand what I am and feare what I shall be and the lesse I sorowe so much the more I feare I would to God I sorowed more that I might feare lesse But woe to me O Lorde for nowe a long time thou smitest and yet I sorowe not thou callest and yet I heare not thou knockest and yet I open not the barre of my heart The sorowes of death Psal 114. compasse me rounde about and being filled with many sorowes without I feele inwardly no sorowe that may worke vnto saluation And I feele not onely the sorowes of old age but I am a man of sorow from my youth vpward and all my Psal 87. dayes are full of trauaile and griefes and yet I sorowe because that alway sorowing I Psal 53. cannot sorowe O marueilous Eccles 2. and vnspeakeable wisedome of the heauenly Physitian O wonderfull goodnesse of the high King O singular benefite of him that is the giuer of all good things for thou O God giuest vnto me sorowe least I perish in pleasures and that I may learne to reioyce without offence thou giuest me sorowe for a time that I may not suffer euerlasting paines thou afflictest my body that thou mayest saue my soule thou scourgest that thou mayest heale and killest that thou mayest quicken But alas vnwillingly doe I receiue thy salue out of the secrete hand of thy mercie and being ignorant doe not acknowledge the soueraigne medicine of healthfull sorowes wherewith thou art mercifully seuere against me and how doe I acknowledge it If I earnestly desire to be deliuered from sorowes who without sorowes cannot be healed for howe shall he be healed without sorowes who by delightes is made sicke Therfore O Lord make me to sorowe and teach me a sauing sorowe that my griefe may be turned into ioy Iohn 16. Psal 12. and that I may reioyce in thy saluation saying Glory be to the Father and to the Sonne and to the holy Ghost As it was in the beginning c. PSALM II. DAyes passe and yeeres slide away but I vnhappie man who after so many corruptions of my soule after so many most grieuous and long falles doe not yet repent nor am afflicted for my sinnes neglect the often falling againe into them care not for rising from them heaping newe vnto olde and greater vnto lesse What shall I doe O Lord or whither shall I goe Psal 138 when my last time shall come where shall I be hidden from the countenance of thy wrath or whither shall I flie away from thy face when thou shalt call me vnto iudgement and require of me accompt of the talent giuen vnto me What shall I answere vnto thee or howe shall I excuse my negligence when thou shalt sit vpon the throne of thy Maiestie and command me to giue accompt of my stewardship to Matth. 5. Luke 16. the vttermost farthing Surely I will say Lord I suffer violence answere for me for who Esai 38. am I that I shoulde answere vnto thee in iudgement But what if thou compel me to answere I will say as a man confounded fearing and trembling O Lord I haue gained Matt. 25. nothing thereupon Yea I haue Luke 15. wickedly and vainely consumed thy talent and by loose liuing I haue spent thy goods surely I haue spoken foolishly by saying liuing for I should better haue sayed by dying But I then thought I liued and loe I was dead because I liued without thee my true life And if I liued at any time with thee I scarce remember it Yea if the life of a wicked man may rather be called death then life I may worthily say that I sooner began to die then liue For I did not perfectly vnderstand what life was whē I had forsaken thee that art the life of liues and the fountaine of life malice did supplie mine age in manifold wickednesse I was scarce come out of my mothers wombe and already was a sinner Comming into the world being yet ignorant of sinne I did bewaile the sinne wherein my parents begotte me neither did I altogether leaue bewailing others sinnes when I cōmitted mine owne which I knowe and did not be wayle Being an infant I followed iniquities and spent my childehood wherein I S. August should haue beene pure vnpurely there breathed sinfull vapours from the slimie concupiscence of my flesh and the spring of my youth and did shadow my heart that it could not discerne light from darkenesse and the cleerenes of the mind from the mist of lust and traitrous and craftie pleasures did carie my weake forgetfull loose age into the headlong rockes of lust so as I boyled vp in whorings desiring to be satisfied in hell from my childehood I grewe to growing yeeres neither was I sooner growing towards youth then my wickednes did growe ripe and I was bold to growe wilde in diuers and shadowie lustes by the which being drawen and entised with the gulfe of wickednesse I was Iames 1. 1. Tim. 6. drowned to death and destruction The euill and wicked dayes of my growing yeeres passed on and I grewe toward youth but I returned backward so much filthie in vanities as I was elder I was a yong man and came to be a man but vice alwayes florished in me in steade of vertue I waxed olde and gray and did not walke in thy wayes but as a child of an hundred yeres being nowe an olde man I liue childishly Where then haue I beene at any time innocent that I would be iudged of thee according vnto the time of mine innocencie though thou diddest appoint it me vnto iudgement For Psal 118. Psal 61. Iob. 9. thou art iust O Lord and righteous is thy iudgement and thou renderest to euery man according to his workes And I feare all mine because they are the workes of darkenesse and I haue beene a worker of iniquitie from the beginning and haue alway willingly followed the pathes of the vnrighteous I haue wallowed in sinne as the swine
loued beside thee but in and for thee Iohn 1. Thou O Lord which art the true light that doest illuminate all men comming into this world cause this light to rise in my darkenes and make me to desire thy iustification that my soule being melted away by the force of loue may faint into thy sauing health Psal 188. and thirste after thy delightes my soule I say but let me call it thine because thou diddest make it and giue it vnto me and mine because I receiued it from thee keepe therefore thy creature which thou hast specially framed according to thine owne image and suffer not thy precious gifte to perish wherein thou hast lifted me vp aboue all the workes of thine owne hands vpon my body and members worke whatsoeuer pleaseth thee let my flesh be clothed with rottennesse Iob 33. and consumed with wormes But I beseech thee O Lord onely spare my soule and stretch not out thy hand against it bring me backe againe into thy wayes before the going downe of the Sunne for it groweth towarde Euening and compell me to come vnto thee if to call be too little constraine me as it pleaseth thee so I may come and not perish not for my selfe who hauing so often abused thy mercie haue made my selfe vnworthy thereof but for thy holy Name take from me a stonie heart and giue vnto Exec. 36. me a fleshy heart and place thy Spirite in the middest of me that I may walke in thy precepts keepe thy iudgements I come too late vnto thee O Lorde I confesse I would to God I had come sooner but I knowe and am assured that thou prescribest no time to them that come so they come and receiuest the last as gently as the first for that although thou hatest Sapi. 1. sinne thou hatest not the sinner neither doest thou reioyce in his destruction and therefore though hee tarrie very long thou doest patiently looke for him O how sweete and pleasant is that thy saying O Lord wherein thou hast giuen hope vnto my Psal 118. Hiere 3. soule Thou hast played the harlot with many louers yet returne thou vnto me I wil receiue thee How delightfull and pleasant is that worde wherewith thou comfortest sinners that are in despaire of themselues If a sinner repent Ezec. 18. him from all his sinnes he shall liue and not die for is the death of a sinner according to my will With great ioy I heare thee when thou sayest that the sheepe that Luke 15. had gone astray shall be brought home with ioy vpon the shepheards shoulders and S. Augu. that the groate shall be layed vp in thy treasures neighbours reioycing with the woman that found it and the ioy of the solemnitie of that house doeth force teares from me when I did reade of the yonger sonne that he was dead and liued againe Therefore Psal 67. giue O Lord vnto my soule the voyce of thy vertue and not of thy vertue alone which shaketh off the slouthe of soules but also the beame of thy light which doeth both shewe vnto men their sinnes and giueth light also to the hidden places of darkenesse Cant. 2. Let thy voyce sounde in the eares of mine heart and say vnto my sleeping soule why art thou so long oppressed with a deadly sleepe and kept captiue in bandes It is nowe Rom. 13. Esai 55. Cant. 6. time to rise from sleepe and that thou forsake thy waye and returne to me that haue redeemed thee returne O Esai 44. thou Sunamite returne that we may behold thee returne and deferre no longer to come vnto me for I am the Lorde thy God that call thee I am I am he that blot out thine iniquities Esai 43. for my selfe neither carie in remembrance things past then will I say boldly to my soule turne thee to thy Psal 144 rest for the Lorde hath done well vnto thee goe safely vnto him and though thou art wearied by thy wicked wayes goe the swifter that thou maiest the sooner take rest be not made afraid for thy sinnes for if they be as redde as scarlet Esai 1. 44. they shal be made as white as snow as a cloude they shall be put away and feare not to be accused of boldnes where thou art praysed for obediēce Goe and make haste my soule vnto him that came not to call the righteous but sinners and Matth. 8. if thou art a sinner thy God is the God of sinners Wherefore then doest thou feare to goe thou that art not called by a cruell iudge but by the father of mercies that thou mayest obtaine mercie therefore goe now willing being called to mercie that thou be not compelled hereafter to goe vnto iudgement In thee O Lorde my noble Father doe I trust and will not be ashamed to confesse vnto thee my deformities S. August and blasphemies who was not ashamed to professe them before men and to barke against thee Let the Marke 2. Pharise murmure say who can forgiue sinnes but God alone for it is God that speaketh vnto me whose worde is liuely and effectuall he that Psal 76. calleth me is milde and pitiful and is not wonted to containe his mercies in his wrath And therefore vpon thy words will I assuredly come vnto thee O my God my trust and my portion in the land of the liuing I wil come and fall downe before thee and not feare thy Maiestie because thou callest me and that I offende not thine eyes when I shall appeare vncleane in thy sight I will wash away my filthinesse with continuall teares and mine eye lidde shall not rest from weeping but my bed shall be priuie vnto my sorrowe wherein I please thee though I displease my selfe and being by thee conuerted vnto thee I repent me of those things I haue committed that I may praise thee with a cleane Psal 88. heart saying O Lord who is like vnto thee for then is thy Eccl. 15. Psal 125. praise bountifull in the mouth of a sinner and hee that hath sowed in teares shall reape in gladnesse Glory be to the Father and to the Sonne and to the holy Ghost As it was in the beginning c. PSALM VII HAue mercie vpon me O Lord for I am in trouble and vexed with vnspeakeable miseries for floods of iniquitie doe vexe me the waters Psal 58. haue entred euē into my soule as a riuer that is ouerflowen so my sinnes which I haue hitherunto dissembled and neglected to confesse or amend are growen so high that they haue passed ouer my head and Psal 37. bowed my minde and will to the concupiscence of sensuall desires yea made me subiect to the slauerie of the deuil Wo vnto me for I am altogether mortally wounded there is no health in me from the sole of the foote to the crowne of my head for mine enemie hath supplanted me and as
in filthines and as he was fed with coddes so was I delighted with filthie and vaine wordes and grieued with earnest profitable sayings I did communicate with those that wrought iniquitie did banquet with the chiefe of them did glorie in sinne Psal 51. being mightie in iniquitie I loued to excuse and could not accuse my selfe and made heauie my heart and the more vncurable is my sinne for that I did not thinke my selfe to be a sinner Neither did I only not seeke a medicine for my soule that was sicke vnto death but refused it being offered yea with an vnreuerent and vntamed mind was wroth against them that would minister it vnto me I persecuted them that reprooued me and imbraced them that spake pleasingly to me and was delighted in their speeches that had not their heart right vnto thee I studied deuises and lies and in all things loued rather darknesse Iohn 3. then light Beholde O Lord I haue declared my selfe vnto thee this is the course of my life wherein I haue deserued thy wrath This will I answere vnto thee when thou shalt aske me of me But doe Psal 25. not remember the offences of my youth nor my ignorances O Lorde and enter not into Psal 142 iudgement with thy seruant for no liuing creature shall be iustified in thy sight but if thou Esai 61. wilt enter because thou art a God that louest iudgement doe iudgement vnto me but not iustice and iudge me according Psal 18. to the iudgement of those that loue thy name that I may sing vnto thee mercie Psal 106. and iudgement Remember O Lord that though I am wicked yet am I thy seruant and the sonne of thy handmaide Psal 81. and doe not looke vnto the multitude of my miseries but vnto the greatnes of thy mercies Abak 3. and when thou shalt be angrie against me for my wickednesse remember thy mercie that thou bee not angrie with me for euer but haue mercie vpon thy afflicted seruant that my soule may praise thee and confesse thy mercifulnesse Glory be to the Father and to the Sonne and to the holy Ghost As it was in the beginning c. PSALM III. VVOe vnto me O wretched man because I haue made my Redeemer angrie against me and haue rebelliously neglected his Law I haue willingly forsaken the right way and as a sheepe that Psal 62. refuseth his shepheard I haue beene caried farre and wide round about through drie vnwatered places wandring in the wildernesse and not in the way I haue gone to all rough vnaccessable places and euery Sapi. 3. where was anguish and tribulation I haue beene wearied in the way of iniquitie and perdition and haue walked in hard wayes seeking rest finding none because I did not seeke thee O Lord but was in a barren lande in the countrie of death where is no rest but continuall labour and affliction of the spirit dwelleth there When I was in honour I did Psal 48. not vnderstand but as one of the flocke of brute beastes my dwelling was among the walkes of wilde beasts I dwelt in anguish with pleasures and among thornes did I make my bed and slept in death and hoped for rest in torments Nowe therefore what shall I doe whither shall I turne my selfe in these so great dangers All the hopes of my youth are fallen downe and I am made like one that hath suffred shipwracke who hauing lost his merchandize swimmeth away naked being tossed with wind and sea I am caried farre from the hauen and doe not take hold of the way of saluation but am caried away on the left hand The enemie hath placed nets for me which way soeuer I went and snares for my feete and I despised them and walked securely in slipperie places and flattered my selfe in sinnes I thought youth was not helde by the lawe of death and being deceiued by this confidence I followed the filthie desires of my flesh and gaue the raines beyonde all measure to sensualitie following it whither soeuer the force thereof did carie me and said a foole in my heart wherfore Psal 5◠doest thou thinke of the ende before the middle thou hast many dayes yet remaining and maiest be conuerted when thou listest So waxed I olde in sinnes and a most wicked custome was turned into nature and nowe like a bondslaue vnto Barnard sinne I serue as it were inchained and as a mad man haling his owne flesh seeketh to hurt himselfe all reason of deliberation being quenched so I more grieuously and dangerously haue hated mine owne soule for the impenitence of my heart and obstinate wilfulnesse hath layed violente and wicked hands vpon me and hath torne in pieces and exulcerated my soule and so hauing brought vnto my selfe the heapes of hell euery day more and more according to my hardnesse and impenitent Rom. 2. heart I doe whoord wrath against the day of wrath I haue made triall sometime to shake off the olde yoke but am not able because it cleaueth to my bones O that at length it may fall from my necke that I may loue thee though late it shall surely sal away if thou O Lord command and send me helpe from aboue I confesse I haue not deserued it but thou O most gracious giuer who makest the Sunne to rise indifferently vpon the good and bad and grauntest temporall blessings to the vnworthy euen when they aske them not how canst thou denie spiritual things to those that shall require them Haue mercy therfore vpon me O Lord and fulfill the desire of a poore man thou that art riche in mercie Ephes 2. and art woont cheerefully to Rom. 12. haue mercie and doest purge the will from euill custome and hearest the gronings of Psal 101. those that are bound and loosest vs from the bands which we haue made vnto our selues vnlesse we raise vp against thee the hornes of false libertie Giue thy right hand vnto the Iob 14. Psal 36. worke of thine owne hands that when I fall I may not be bruised and being bruised I may not be drawen into the Esai 14. deepe lake wherein is no water Deliuer me frō the mouth Psal 16. of the cruell lyon that is ready for the praye and gapeth after my soule that he may deuoure it for thou onely art my protectour and deliuerer and in thy mercie alone is all my hope Let thy mercie therefore Psal 3◠Psal 3◠be done vnto me according as I haue trusted in thee I haue trusted and shall not be confounded but obtaining my desire shall sing vnto thee Glory be to the Father and to the Sonne and to the holy Ghost As it was in the beginning c. PSALM IIII. MY nightes passe away in griese and vexe me with innumerable terrors my conscience shaketh me while I am awake and I am tormented therewith as if I were wounded with a two edged
sword my sleepe is troubled with diuers illusions bringing me no rest but trauaile I watch all night in my thoughts when as being wearied I endeuour to giue some sleepe to mine eye lids by and by sleepe departeth from mine eyes and I sleepe alwayes in sorowes being wakened with an vnquiet wearines from the care of the Iob 30. day and all my inward partes are inflamed without rest The Iob 33. meate which before I desired is made abominable vnto my soule and my drinke is mingled Psal 101. with teares and confusion is before mine eies and rednes in my cheekes whē I remember how grieuously I haue offended thee O my God and in howe many sortes I haue abused my strength and thy gitfes I haue spent my dayes in vanities euerlasting cares haue consumed me and being caried hither and thither with senseles cogitations I haue spent my time I fained to my selfe dreames oftentimes and reioyced and vanished away being deluded in my vanities and madnes I ascended into Psal 106. heauen and by and by descended vnto the deepe and while Psal 41. one deepe calleth another my soule did consume in euill I did rot before the eies of men I wished impossible things by the fantasticall fruition of them I was made like vnto them that sleepe and rising from their sleepe haue found nothing in their hands I am a vile worme and yet O Lord I did neuer know thee but with an high forehead haue exalted my selfe alone aboue all I haue rashly boasted of my wordes and in pride thought them to be wisedome I was an enemie vnto my companions and being angrie with many did reproche them without cause I hated patience loued wrath and would be angry without reason I cursed my seruants and familiars yea and my selfe also when I was angrie and scornefully reproched my friends I did vnwillingly beare mine aduersities and haue put my trust in man more then in God I heard the trueth vnpatiently and answered the wise in furie I sought iniuries and reuenges willingly and neuer reserued reuenge vnto God I waxed cruell against him that defended his owne cause neither did a soft answere or a Prou. 6. gentle man please me I tooke pleasure in strife and contention and as a wicked man did often sow discord hatred among brethrē I receiued with mine eares wholesome and good counsels but did not apprehend discipline I did with a milde countenance beholde such counsailours as tickled mine eares but those that spake vnto mee with a free minde I put farre from me I Tobia helde not out my hand to the needie neither did I eate my Tobit bread with the hungrie the beggers and lepers did lie in the streetes and I passed away turning mine eies from them least my bowels should be stirred and I moued with mercie should giue almes vnto them I payed not my debt to them that did lende vnto me and did borowe to satisfie my inordinate desire I coueted to be rich that I might doe vnlawfull things and in all godly dueties shewed my self poore and what I wanted to godlinesse did largely abound vnto my lust I reioyced beyonde measure in all gluttonie and bankets and with vnsatiable greedinesse offended nature that is contented with little My belly was as it were my Philip. 3. god my glory in the shames of those that sauour earthly things I sought the sweetest and most exquisite meates and with the pretence of necessitie I did often shadowe the desire of pleasure I put my Psal 49. portion among the adulterers and my familiar conuersation was among fornicators I was immoderately conuersant in blood and being like vnto bruite beastes I was so ouerthrowne in this vice that I shame to speake what I shamed not to doe Mine eare and my tongue serued vanitie whilest by the one the oile of sinners did make my head fat and with the other I supplied often that which others seemed to want concerning my prayse and as oportunitie serued I did set foorth to others mine owne prayse and did alwayes reioyce to be set foorth both by mine owne and other mens speeches To conclude I liued in all kinde of pleasure of this world being banished farre and wide from the delightes of thy house and if at any time the feare of death and the last iudgement did quicken my slouth and for a litle time call me frō the deepe gulfe of pleasure by and by I returned as a dogge to his vomite Being dead in them I yet liue and abiding in death I hasten to death and see death also swift by comming vnto me But let thy mercy O Lord Psal 78. quickly preuent me before that terrible day of miserie and calamitie doe come the great Psal 25. and bitter day that though I Zeph. 1. die I may liue and declare thy mercies aboue all thy workes Looke backe O Lord and beholde howe my soule lieth in her concupiscences sicke of the palsie and is euill vexed there with deliuer it from the fast birdlime of death that it may cleaue vnto thee alone who onely art the true life and leauing all others follow thee that art aboue all Say vnto my soule O Lord God of my saluation Psal 27. 54. Math. 15 be it vnto thee as thou desirest make me to heare this thy voyce a voyce of reioycing and saluation that I may runne after it and take hold of thee and keepe thee fast and not let thee goe vntill thou sendest me whole away For being sicke to whom shall I goe but to thee that I may be cured or who can heale mine infirmitie but he that for man mankind came downe from heauen that they might be healed of their griefs who can 1. Reg◠quicken but he that doth mortifie quicken all things who can saue but thou O my God my Sauiour in the time of tribulation saue therefore and quicken me thou that art the life and euerlasting saluation of al that put their trust in thee And to thee that art without 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 beginning be glorie without end to thee be praise and honour to thee be cōtinual worship thankesgiuing thou that art the euerlasting spring of mercies for I was gone farre from thee and did runne away and yet thou doest speedily come to him that is sicke and runne away when he calleth vpon thee doest graunt him health before thou hearest his sighes for to be willing to be healed is ynough that thou shouldest heale and to be willing to liue that thou shouldest graunt life and in the blessing of thy sweetenes doest thou preuent the desire Psal 20. of a sinner that doeth knowe himselfe Therefore I will say vnto thee O Lord and it shall suffice vnto me I knowe mine Psal 50. iniquitie what is it to know but I will bee healed and howe doe I know because all my bones are vexed