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upon_o himself_o for_o any_o thing_n but_o tend_v thereunto_o he_o will_v by_o his_o courtesy_n make_v continual_a purchase_n of_o affection_n but_o especial_o in_o his_o own_o house_n where_o he_o can_v hardly_o overact_v it_o yet_o towards_o man_n of_o insolent_a demand_n and_o carriage_n it_o be_v but_o unmannerly_a to_o employ_v it_o civility_n be_v a_o important_a piece_n of_o society_n especial_o among_o the_o better_a sort_n and_o like_o other_o quality_n it_o be_v to_o be_v exercise_v with_o great_a discretion_n and_o good_a temper_n high_a and_o brave_a spirit_n unseasoned_a therewith_o will_v like_o cock_n and_o mastiff_n impatient_a of_o the_o fierceness_n of_o one_o another_o eye_n uncollected_a and_o unrecal_v assault_v each_o other_o with_o blow_n instead_o of_o salute_v there_o have_v be_v divers_a book_n write_v of_o the_o institution_n of_o a_o prince_n of_o a_o courtier_n of_o several_a
my_o fortune_n and_o course_n where_o to_o dwell_v what_o to_o sell_v or_o keep_v what_o to_o disparke_n what_o and_o how_o to_o build_v at_o or_o to_o forbear_v which_o to_o a_o near_a consideration_n make_v no_o little_a anxiety_n whether_o to_o keep_v house_n or_o not_o find_v my_o wife_n and_o self_n unfit_a for_o it_o and_o yet_o as_o unfit_a to_o sojourn_v what_o physician_n to_o use_v and_o course_n to_o take_v to_o recover_v health_n whether_o i_o shall_v adventure_v to_o buy_v employment_n which_o seem_v necessary_a to_o my_o active_a spirit_n though_o my_o life_n in_o my_o conceit_n be_v desperate_a whether_o to_o adventure_v upon_o a_o strong_a diversion_n by_o a_o course_n in_o court_n and_o how_o far_o to_o comply_v with_o the_o time_n which_o little_o comply_v with_o my_o discourse_n whether_o to_o keep_v or_o break_v a_o rash_a vow_n of_o importance_n that_o cost_v i_o dear_a this_o and_o much_o more_o may_v well_o oppress_v a_o melancholy_a mind_n my_o diversion_n appear_v as_o fruit_n of_o a_o vain_a and_o prodigal_a disposition_n but_o alas_o they_o be_v nothing_o less_o i_o hope_v still_o to_o have_v recover_v myself_o and_o then_o i_o can_v have_v thrive_v well_o enough_o i_o be_v not_o unknown_a nor_o want_v a_o easy_a way_n to_o preferment_n but_o it_o please_v god_n by_o weaken_v i_o by_o confound_v i_o to_o bring_v i_o to_o he_o bless_a be_v his_o name_n i_o reckon_v it_o a_o supreme_a happiness_n etc._n etc._n november_n 8._o 1637._o truth_n exactness_n and_o perfection_n be_v oar_n of_o a_o rich_a mine_n but_o lie_v so_o deep_a that_o they_o often_o hardly_o recompense_v the_o labour_n of_o their_o extraction_n my_o end_n be_v not_o so_o much_o to_o vindicate_v as_o to_o give_v some_o true_a knowledge_n of_o myself_o and_o shake_v off_o the_o burden_n of_o my_o mind_n to_o my_o pen_n and_o paper_n it_o be_v unfit_a for_o i_o and_o i_o for_o it_o and_o yet_o i_o can_v avoid_v it_o and_o this_o be_v one_o of_o the_o unreconcilable_a property_n of_o my_o condition_n i_o write_v not_o to_o please_v i_o write_v not_o for_o ostentation_n and_o if_o i_o do_v praetulerim_fw-la scriptor_n delirus_fw-la inersque_fw-la videri_fw-la quam_fw-la sapere_fw-la &_o ringi_fw-la it_o be_v too_o true_a that_o the_o fine_a curious_a affect_a shoe_n often_o wring_v the_o foot_n high_a seat_n mind_n be_v brave_a and_o airy_a but_o low_a one_o quiet_a romae_fw-la tibur_n amo_fw-la ventosus_fw-la tibure_n romam_fw-la be_v a_o production_n of_o a_o fine_a but_o windy_a melancholy_a spirit_n will_v i_o be_v a_o idolater_n i_o will_v sacrifice_v to_o quiet_a and_o dulness_n i_o will_v affect_v wit_n and_o curiosity_n in_o nothing_o but_o to_o repent_v my_o sin_n and_o please_v my_o god_n gracious_a god_n it_o be_v thy_o infinite_a power_n and_o spirit_n that_o work_v in_o all_o thing_n vegetable_a and_o sensible_a creature_n in_o and_o at_o their_o first_o production_n without_o any_o discourse_n of_o they_o teach_v they_o their_o nourishment_n their_o sustentation_n thou_o be_v omni-present_a omniscient_a omnipotent_a assist_v i_o good_a god_n in_o my_o discourse_n in_o my_o resolution_n of_o dedicate_a myself_o whole_o unto_o thou_o etc._n etc._n november_n 9_o 1637._o go_v now_o presumptuous_a and_o overween_a man_n boast_v in_o thy_o prerogative_n of_o reason_n and_o nature_n confound_v thyself_o in_o thy_o own_o way_n and_o invention_n nature_n may_v lead_v thou_o to_o pleasure_n and_o profit_n and_o so_o common_o it_o do_v the_o most_o base_a and_o vulgar_a spirit_n but_o it_o must_v be_v a_o extraordinary_a supernatural_a spirit_n that_o can_v make_v thou_o thrive_v to_o this_o and_o a_o better_a world_n this_o the_o natural_a man_n discern_v not_o and_o the_o fool_n can_v understand_v but_o this_o the_o school_n of_o experience_n as_o well_o as_o of_o faith_n teach_v we_o thou_o oh_o god_n be_v the_o god_n of_o nature_n but_o the_o way_n of_o nature_n and_o religion_n be_v so_o diverse_a that_o it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o irreligion_n to_o seek_v or_o measure_v thou_o in_o nature_n course_n the_o course_n of_o thy_o spirit_n and_o judgement_n run_v another_o way_n they_o thy_o decree_n thy_o grace_n be_v all_o supernatural_a and_o wonderful_a to_o thou_o be_v ascribe_v all_o wisdom_n justice_n power_n and_o majesty_n and_o here_o my_o most_o gracious_a god_n i_o humble_o thank_v thou_o for_o thy_o merciful_a and_o wonderful_a support_n through_o my_o whole_a course_n to_o my_o body_n to_o my_o mind_n to_o my_o fortune_n for_o it_o equal_v any_o thing_n that_o i_o can_v call_v strange_a that_o i_o have_v subsist_v through_o all_o my_o storm_n and_o suffering_n without_o have_v incur_v utter_a scorn_n and_o ruin_n shipwreck_n be_v not_o ill_o escape_v with_o loss_n and_o a_o good_a haven_n at_o last_o be_v not_o a_o little_a joy_n though_o thy_o storm_n have_v all_o past_a over_o i_o and_o see_v i_o have_v use_v this_o term_n of_o the_o psalm_n i_o can_v let_v pass_n how_o most_o apposite_a and_o accommodate_v i_o have_v find_v many_o of_o they_o to_o my_o condition_n as_o the_o 88_o and_o divers_a other_o in_o my_o friend_n be_v remove_v far_o from_o i_o and_o sundry_a other_o passage_n lord_n i_o humble_o thank_v thou_o that_o thou_o have_v so_o make_v my_o face_n ashamed_a as_o that_o i_o have_v get_v and_o find_v thou_o and_o find_v that_o of_o thy_o very_a mercy_n and_o faithfulness_n i_o have_v be_v trouble_v i_o can_v now_o call_v thou_o the_o god_n of_o my_o salvation_n my_o countenance_n and_o confidence_n for_o i_o have_v find_v the_o beam_n of_o thy_o mercy_n so_o to_o comfort_v i_o in_o darkness_n and_o misery_n as_o that_o i_o doubt_v not_o to_o apply_v to_o myself_o as_o well_o the_o psalm_n of_o consolation_n as_o i_o have_v do_v those_o of_o complaint_n and_o distress_n i_o can_v now_o look_v upon_o all_o this_o world_n glory_n pleasure_n and_o vanity_n with_o contempt_n and_o pity_n continue_v thy_o mercy_n and_o i_o have_v heaven_n upon_o earth_n thou_o be_v perfection_n of_o philosophy_n thou_o be_v the_o true_a summum_fw-la bonum_fw-la in_o thou_o be_v all_o fullness_n all_o joy_n humane_a discourse_n and_o resolution_n can_v do_v much_o but_o first_o motion_n and_o surprise_v upon_o the_o mind_n disturb_v nature_n concoction_n and_o the_o spirit_n even_o in_o mere_a nullity_n of_o conceit_n in_o despite_n of_o a_o firm_a faith_n and_o reason_n it_o be_v from_o god_n alone_o to_o prevent_v they_o to_o allay_v they_o tentation_n be_v often_o above_o the_o power_n of_o flesh_n and_o blood_n to_o resist_v the_o melancholy_a humour_n be_v most_o violent_a in_o hot_a and_o active_a spirit_n and_o constitution_n there_o it_o estuate_v there_o it_o ferment_n and_o boil_n how_o it_o suggest_v confound_v resolve_n and_o then_o again_o forget_v the_o circumstance_n of_o a_o former_a resolution_n and_o by_o forgetfulness_n or_o a_o new_a predominancy_n of_o humour_n relapse_n to_o a_o fresh_a rumination_n and_o confusion_n upon_o the_o same_o subject_n melancholy_n at_o the_o first_o be_v a_o querulous_a humour_n but_o in_o extremity_n it_o wrap_v itself_o in_o silence_n and_o exceed_v expression_n it_o dwell_v in_o inward_a conflict_n hope_n by_o god_n grace_n the_o best_a prepare_v for_o the_o worst_a november_n 9_o 1637._o how_o gracious_a and_o good_a o_o god_n be_v thou_o that_o will_v be_v find_v in_o trouble_n and_o become_v the_o relief_n of_o that_o calamitous_a soul_n which_o have_v neglect_v thou_o in_o the_o time_n of_o seem_a prosperity_n thy_o wonder_n appear_v in_o the_o deep_a and_o out_o of_o the_o deep_a thou_o be_v call_v upon_o the_o deep_a of_o distress_n the_o deep_a of_o melancholy_n discover_v the_o wonder_n of_o thy_o judgement_n of_o thy_o power_n and_o mercy_n even_o as_o the_o star_n and_o glory_n of_o the_o heaven_n be_v discern_v out_o of_o a_o deep_a well_o not_o otherwise_o appear_v lord_n with_o what_o a_o fullness_n do_v i_o labour_v to_o express_v thy_o glory_n and_o my_o comfort_n even_o in_o that_o temper_v i_o or_o i_o shall_v be_v confound_v ipsa_fw-la faelicitas_fw-la se_fw-la nisi_fw-la temperate_a premit_fw-la vouchsafe_v to_o demonstrate_v in_o i_o by_o my_o life_n and_o action_n what_o my_o pen_n can_v express_v what_o be_v say_v of_o fortune_n be_v true_a of_o god_n occaecat_fw-la hominum_fw-la animos_fw-la cum_fw-la vim_o svam_fw-la ingruentem_fw-la refringi_fw-la non_fw-la vult_fw-la according_a to_o god_n determinate_a counsel_n we_o discern_v or_o be_v blind_a we_o judge_v resolve_v and_o execute_v aright_o or_o lose_v and_o confound_v ourselves_o in_o error_n and_o folly_n thy_o decree_n o_o lord_n be_v irresistible_a november_n 11._o 1637._o have_v i_o be_v leave_v a_o freedom_n in_o myself_o or_o be_v constant_a to_o my_o own_o discourse_n and_o inclination_n in_o the_o order_n of_o my_o way_n it_o may_v have_v be_v worldly_a fortune_n enough_o unto_o
etc._n etc._n and_o some_o by_o the_o very_a distemper_n which_o they_o breed_v a_o burn_a fever_n remedy_n a_o palsy_n and_o ague_n ordinary_o clear_v the_o body_n we_o see_v also_o that_o a_o disorder_a and_o ill_o habituate_v commonwealth_n and_o state_n but_o upon_o extreme_a necessity_n and_o violence_n seldom_o grow_v to_o reformation_n a_o vicious_a and_o deprave_a mind_n correspond_v to_o these_o premise_n as_o well_o in_o disposition_n as_o cure_v till_o extremity_n distemper_n and_o affliction_n work_v upon_o we_o till_o god_n the_o good_a gardener_n of_o our_o soul_n cultivate_v weed_n alter_z and_o subdue_v we_o we_o insist_v in_o our_o corrupt_a natural_n we_o remain_v obstinate_a in_o our_o error_n impatient_a of_o good_a and_o healthful_a counsel_n perverse_a in_o all_o our_o course_n happy_a that_o soil_n body_n state_n and_o soul_n which_o find_v he_o their_o gardener_n physician_n reformer_n and_o gracious_a redeemer_n paradise_n be_v our_o first_o plentiful_a garden_n health_n original_a justice_n and_o integrity_n our_o condition_n till_o he_o renew_v heal_v reform_v sanctify_v and_o reduce_v we_o to_o our_o principle_n and_o perfection_n we_o be_v barren_a to_o goodness_n unsound_a corrupt_a taint_a piece_n persist_v oh_o lord_n in_o such_o thy_o grace_n as_o i_o have_v haply_o find_v towards_o i_o be_v it_o by_o break_v sickness_n confusion_n or_o humiliation_n so_o thou_o make_v i_o good_a and_o make_v i_o thou_o i_o shall_v be_v faithful_o fruitful_a athletical_o vigorous_a prudent_a temperate_a just_a religious_o virtuous_a and_o already_o in_o paradise_n and_o in_o the_o confine_n of_o heaven_n what_o shall_v i_o render_v unto_o thou_o oh_o lord_n for_o the_o incomparable_a influence_n assistance_n and_o sweetness_n of_o thy_o grace_n and_o favour_n towards_o i_o i_o possess_v nothing_o but_o what_o i_o have_v receive_v from_o thou_o nor_o can_v i_o pay_v thou_o but_o with_o thy_o own_o the_o grace_n of_o my_o body_n mind_n and_o fortune_n be_v thy_o alm_n unto_o i_o i_o will_v sacrifice_v unto_o thou_o all_o my_o vain_a and_o worldly_a affection_n and_o even_o that_o be_v my_o great_a game_n the_o unspeakable_a sweetness_n and_o comfort_n of_o thy_o favour_n be_v a_o overflow_a and_o superabounding_a recompense_n unto_o i_o that_o wherein_o thou_o have_v invest_v i_o with_o the_o most_o propriety_n be_v my_o humble_a thanksgiving_n and_o imperfect_a obedience_n nor_o that_o can_v i_o offer_v up_o and_o tender_a unto_o thou_o without_o thy_o gracious_a hand_n raise_v and_o assist_v i_o but_o help_v i_o oh_o lord_n and_o i_o will_v never_o cease_v to_o praise_v and_o endeavour_v to_o obey_v thou_o amen_o amen_n i_o most_o humble_o thank_v thou_o my_o most_o gracious_a god_n that_o my_o trouble_n of_o late_o have_v not_o be_v so_o much_o in_o any_o thing_n sonnet_n as_o in_o a_o labour_a affection_n to_o set_v forth_o the_o greatness_n and_o sweetness_n of_o thy_o mercy_n towards_o i_o thou_o have_v be_v my_o sole_a physic_n and_o physician_n my_o preservative_n cordial_a restorative_n and_o support_v even_o then_o when_o in_o take_v measure_n of_o my_o natural_a strength_n i_o may_v have_v conceive_v it_o impossible_a to_o undergo_v what_o by_o thy_o grace_n i_o have_v perform_v thou_o have_v many_o time_n find_v and_o inspire_v way_n and_o mean_n beyond_o i_o as_o well_o to_o assist_v and_o support_v i_o as_o thou_o have_v former_o do_v to_o humble_v i_o thou_o never_o want_v mean_n melancholy_a confusion_n of_o face_n defection_n of_o the_o eye_n cross_n have_v be_v thy_o instrument_n to_o make_v i_o thou_o i_o be_v a_o house_n build_v for_o pleasure_n but_o thou_o have_v make_v i_o a_o receptacle_n of_o all_o calamity_n i_o be_v not_o that_o crooked_a piece_n of_o knee_n timber_n fit_v for_o distress_n i_o be_v frame_v for_o the_o pacifique_a sea_n but_o thy_o storm_n have_v all_o past_a over_o i_o and_o yet_o by_o thy_o favour_n i_o be_o a_o great_a wonder_n to_o myself_o in_o what_o i_o have_v bear_v then_o be_v that_o cockboat_n which_o safe_o transport_v from_o the_o bermudae_n such_o as_o commit_v themselves_o unto_o it_o free_a spirit_a horse_n do_v often_o brook_v worst_a the_o bit_n and_o curb_n and_o soon_o tire_v themselves_o engage_v to_o a_o moorish_a passage_n when_o a_o fen_n mare_fw-la and_o a_o asinine_a patience_n better_a comply_v and_o extricate_v itself_o no_o sweetness_n be_v comparable_a to_o thy_o grace_n nor_o strength_n to_o that_o which_o thy_o good_a spirit_n give_v natural_o i_o be_o impatient_a to_o tread_v my_o shoe_n awry_o i_o have_v abound_v in_o error_n and_o exorbitancy_n but_o thy_o mercy_n have_v ever_o open_v my_o eye_n and_o recall_v i_o to_o disallow_v they_o and_o at_o last_o to_o detest_v and_o abjure_v they_o it_o have_v be_v else_o too_o hard_o for_o flesh_n and_o blood_n they_o can_v never_o cast_v out_o nor_o cast_v off_o themselves_o as_o thou_o have_v say_v a_o kingdom_n divide_v in_o itself_o can_v subsist_v but_o be_v thou_o with_o we_o and_o nothing_o can_v prevail_v against_o we_o invincible_a be_v that_o body_n that_o mind_n and_o estate_n which_o thou_o assiste_v consilia_fw-la quibus_fw-la impares_fw-la sumus_fw-la fatis_fw-la permittamus_fw-la understanding_n fate_n for_o god_n be_v the_o counsel_n i_o take_v a_o ship_n that_o can_v sail_v must_v drive_v etc._n etc._n my_o gracious_a god_n accept_v i_o most_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o my_o humble_a thanksgiving_n for_o thy_o wonderful_a preservation_n and_o favour_n towards_o i_o and_o particular_o for_o bless_v i_o in_o charitable_a affection_n towards_o other_o as_o well_o as_o reverence_v towards_o thou_o daily_o i_o have_v too_o much_o experience_n of_o the_o little_a good_a that_o the_o best_a preach_v work_n upon_o deprave_a mind_n grant_v that_o i_o may_v not_o offend_v thou_o in_o hurt_v myself_o by_o a_o immoderate_a and_o indiscreet_a affect_v of_o other_o good_a give_v i_o a_o cheerfulness_n without_o oppression_n of_o my_o spirit_n in_o thou_o and_o my_o way_n bless_v the_o sincere_a profession_n and_o professor_n of_o thy_o sacred_a word_n teach_v they_o that_o they_o may_v true_o teach_v thou_o withhold_v they_o from_o mingle_v policy_n and_o self-interest_n with_o thy_o religion_n withhold_v they_o from_o shake_v the_o foundation_n of_o our_o faith_n and_o peace_n of_o thy_o church_n it_o have_v former_o be_v too_o great_a a_o tax_n upon_o our_o nation_n to_o have_v be_v too_o inconstant_a and_o troublesome_a therein_o maintain_v the_o true_a light_n and_o pure_a exercise_n of_o thy_o gospel_n among_o we_o our_o iniquity_n deserve_v the_o punishment_n of_o a_o most_o gross_a relapse_n to_o discover_v and_o escape_v superstition_n and_o idolatry_n but_o of_o thy_o great_a mercy_n give_v we_o true_a wisdom_n and_o repentance_n and_o avert_v thy_o judgement_n one_o pious_a churchman_n be_v soon_o to_o be_v believe_v against_o their_o own_o affect_a authority_n than_o twenty_o for_o their_o usurp_a power_n and_o advantage_n luxation_n in_o religion_n breed_v a_o long_a subsequent_a weakness_n and_o the_o adversary_n of_o our_o religion_n as_o well_o as_o atheist_n take_v too_o great_a advantage_n from_o such_o occasion_n contain_v we_o oh_o lord_n from_o over-prying_a into_o and_o censure_v thy_o secret_a counsel_n predestination_n and_o freewill_n strike_v the_o same_o stroke_n upon_o our_o life_n our_o comfort_n must_v rise_v from_o our_o endeavour_n in_o either_o opinion_n the_o most_o subtle_a writer_n lose_v and_o confound_v themselves_o on_o either_o side_n and_o make_v too_o bold_a in_o conclude_v of_o thou_o by_o our_o blind_a fantastic_a rule_n of_o justice_n thou_o dwell_v in_o the_o cloud_n and_o have_v cast_v a_o mist_n about_o thyself_o which_o our_o frail_a fight_n can_v penetrate_v how_o can_v man_n hope_v to_o understand_v thou_o who_o poor_a finite_a capacity_n can_v so_o much_o as_o in_o his_o imagination_n conceive_v either_o way_n of_o that_o which_o he_o see_v and_o know_v of_o necessity_n must_v be_v either_o so_o or_o so_o as_o for_o instance_n we_o know_v that_o this_o sublime_a candens_fw-la mus_fw-la necessary_o either_o have_v bound_n beyond_o which_o there_o be_v nothing_o or_o else_o go_v infinite_o on_o final_o unbounded_a and_o one_o limit_n still_o succeed_v another_o but_o i_o be_o much_o deceive_v if_o the_o strong_a imagination_n can_v conceive_v either_o way_n though_o one_o be_v most_o necessary_a much_o less_o can_v we_o comprehend_v and_o compass_v the_o essence_n and_o infinity_n of_o god_n obedience_n and_o reverence_n to_o his_o reveal_v will_n and_o not_o a_o overbold_a and_o curious_a search_n belong_v to_o his_o incomprehensible_a majesty_n but_o i_o have_v end_v my_o paper_n and_o almost_o myself_o vouchsafe_v oh_o lord_n to_o give_v i_o modesty_n moderation_n faith_n charity_n and_o conscience_n to_o guide_v my_o way_n and_o guide_v that_o guide_n that_o i_o may_v live_v and_o die_v in_o thy_o truth_n and_o to_o thy_o glory_n