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A54745 The mysteries of love & eloquence, or, The arts of wooing and complementing as they are manag'd in the Spring Garden, Hide Park, the New Exchange, and other eminent places : a work in which is drawn to the life the deportments of the most accomplisht persons, the mode of their courtly entertainments, treatments of their ladies at balls, their accustom'd sports, drolls and fancies, the witchcrafts of their perswasive language in their approaches, or other more secret dispatches ... Phillips, Edward, 1630-1696? 1685 (1685) Wing P2067; ESTC R25584 236,029 441

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make If my Master should come he would us take Alass quoth the Maid my Master doth come Alass quoth the Fryer where shall I run Behind you Cloth run thou quoth she For there my Master cannot see Behind the Cloth the Fryer went And was in the Well incontinent Alass quoth he I'm in the Well No matter quoth she if thou wer 't in hell Thou said'st thou could'st sing me out of Hell I prithee sing thy self out of the Well Sing out quoth she with all thy might Or else thou' rt like to sing there all night The Fryer sang out with a pitifull sound Oh! help me out or I shall be Drown'd She heard him make such a pitiful moan She hope him out and bid him go home Quoth the Fryer I never was serv'd so before Away quoth the Wench come here no more The Fryer he walked a long the street As if he had been a new washed Sheep Sing hey down a derry and let 's be merry And from such sin ever to keep TOM a BEDLAM FOrth from my sad and darksome Cell From the deep abyss of Hell Mad Tom is come to view the world again To see if he can ease his distemper'd brain Fear and Despair possess my Soul Hark how the angry Furies howl Pluto laughs and Proserpine is glad To see poor naked Tom of bedlam mad Through the World I wander Night and Day To find my troubled Senses At last I found old Tine With his Pentateuch of Tenses When he me spies away he flyes For Time will stay for no man In vain with cryes I rend the Skies For pitty is not common Cold and comfortless I lye Oh help O help or else I dye Hark I hear Apollo's Team The Carman'gins to whistle Chast Diana bends her bow And the Bore begins to bristle Come Vulcan with tools and with tackles And knock off my troublesome Shackles Bid Charles make ready his Wain To fetch my five Senses again Last night I heard the Dog-Stark bark Mars met Venus in the dark Lymping Vulcan heat and Iron bar And furiously run at the god of War Mars with his weapon laid about Lymping Vulcan had the gout For his broad Horns hung so in his light That he could not see to aim aright Mercury the nimble Post of heaven Stay'd to see the Quarrel Gorrel belly Bacchus giantly bestrid A Strong-beer barrel To me he drank I did him thank But I could drink no Sider He drank whole Buts till he burst his guts But mine were ne're the wider Poor Tom is very dry A little drink for Charitie Hark! I hear Acteon's hounds The Hunts-man hoopes and Hallows Ringwood Rockwood Jowler Bowman All the Chace doth follow The man in the Moon drinks Clarret Eats powder'd Beef Turnep and Carret But a Cup of old Maligo Sack Will fire the Bush at his Back Alas poor Scholar Whither wilt thou go OR Strange Alterations which at this time be There 's many did think they never should see IN a Melancholy Study None but my self Methought my Muse grew muddy After seven years Reading And costly breeding I felt but could find no pelf Into Learned Rags I 've rent my Plush and Satten And now am fit to beg In Hebrew Greek and Latin Instead of Aristotle Would I had got a Patten Alas poor Scholar whither wilt thou go Cambridge now I must leave thee And follow Fate Colledge hopes do deceive me I oft expected To have been elected But Desert is reprobate Masters of Colledges Have no Common Graces And they that have Fellowships Have but common Places And those that Scholars are They must have handsom faces Alas poor Scholar whither wilt thou go I have bow'd I have bended And all in hope One day to be befriended I have preach'd I have printed What e'r I hinted To please our English Pope I worship'd towards the East But the Sun doth not forsake me I find that I am falling The Northern winds do shake me Would I had been upright For Bowing now will break me At great preferment I aimed I looked lately To live most stately And have a Dairy of Bell-ropes milk But now alas My self I must not flatter Bigamy of Steeples Is a laughing matter Each man must have but one And Curates will grow fatter Alas poor Scholar whither wilt thou go Into some Country Village Now I must go Where neither Tythe nor Tillage The greedy Patron And parched Matron Swear to the Church they owe Yet if I can preach And Pray too on a sudden And confute the Pope At adventure without studying Then ten pounds a year Besides a Sunday Pudding All the Arts I have skill in Divine and Humane Yet all 's not worth a Shilling When the Women hear me They do but jeer me And say I am profane Once I remmember I preached with a Weaver I quoted Austin He quoted Dod and Clever I nothing got He got a Cloak and Bever Alas poor Scholar whither wilt thou go Ships Ships Ships I discover Crossing the Main Shall I in and go over Turn Jew or Atheist Turk or Papist To Geneva or Amsterdam Bishopricks are void In Scotland shall I thither Or follow Windebank And Finch to see if either Do want a Priest to shrive them O no 't is blust'ring weather Alas poor Scholar whither wilt thou go Ho ho ho I have hit it Peace good-man Fool Thou hast a Trade will fit it Draw thy Indenture Be bound at adventure An Apprentice to a Free-School There thou mayst command By William Lylies Charter There thou mayst whip strip And hang and draw and quarter And commit to the Red Rod Both Will and Tom and Arthur I I 't is thither thither will I go Superscriptions for Letters To a Duke A Duke first was made by the French Kings when they had chased the Romans out of Gallia bestowing the name of Dux a little altered to the French Idiom upon those to whom they gave the Principal Government over those Provinces which they had recovered in process of time theyusurped the Inheritance of their Governments and made their Feifeswhich before were revocable at the Princes pleasure to be hereditary So that at length their Titles came to be so much esteemed as to be thought the next in order to that of a King The Title which is most usually applied to a Duke is that of Grace and we address ourselves ●ohim by word of mouth thus May it please your Grace If he be the Kings Son or of the Royal blood we write to him thus To the most Illustrious Prince Henry c. To the most excellent Prince Or else To the most High and Noble EArls at the same time and upon the same account were created by the French King only here seem'd the difference to be between them for the Dukes seemed to have the Military Power and the Earls were only made to exercise the Civil Jurisdiction in the Towns where they were plac'd They are now the next in order to Marquess
by word of mouth we make our Addresses thus May it please your Honour And write to him thus To the Right Honourable A Marquess formerly was the Governor of a Fronteer Town and inferiour to the Earl of a Province but superiour to the Earl of an Inland Town In speaking we thus address our selves to them May it please your Honour We write to them thus To the Right Honourable A Viscount was formerly the Lievtenant to an Earl so that their Dignity hath continued next to that of an Earl ever since and indeed between a Viscount and a Baron or Lord there is no difference used in making addresses to them We speak to them thus May it please your Honour my Lord. We write thus To the Honourable A Knight is the next Degree of honour being more peoperly a Military Dignity but of late very much confused They bear the Title of Right Worshipful We make our dress thus May it please your Worship We write thus To the Right Worshipful ESquire was formerly but he that bore the Shield and Lance of a Knight before him It is now the next Degree of Honour to the Knight and now so much used by Gentlemen that he who stiles not himself Esquire is hardly a Gentleman He bears the Title of Worshipful And we write to him thus To the Worshipful J. D. Esquire Note here that the same Titles are appliable to the Wives as to the Husbands and though the Daughter of an Earl marry an inferior person yet she doth not lose her Title which is Right Honorable In the writing of familiar Epistles there are sundry varieties which ingenuity will easily apply to his occasion For example at the beginning of a Letter these Expressions do very often offer themselves Honour'd Sir Dear Sir Dear Friend Learned Sir Madam Dear Lady Dearest Joy of my Life My Heart Fairest Delight of my Heart These Subscriptions also are usual To great Persons Your Graces most faithfull and most obedient Servant Your Honors most faithfull and most obedient Servant Your Excellencies most humbly devoted Servant Your Worships most faithful Servant In familiar Letters thus The admirer of your Vertues Madam The Honorer Of your Perfection Madam The Honorer Of your Vertues Madam Adorer Of your Perfection Madam Adorer Of your Vertues Madam Worshipper Of your Perfection Madam Worshipper Of your Vertues Your most affectionate Friend and Servant Your assured Friend Your most obedient Servant Your most obliged Friend and Servant Your eternally engaged Servant Your Creature Your faithful Servant Yours for ever Yours to command eternally Yours while I have life Yours while I have a being Your faithful though contemned Servant For Superscription these Forms may be used To my much respected Friend To my much Honored Friend For my much Valued Friend For my much esteemed Friend Friend For my approved To the truly Noble To the truly Vertuous To the most incomparable Lady To the fair Hands of To the most accomplisht To the mirror of Perfection To the most lovely ornament of Nature There is something more to be observed concerning the Dignity of places For a Knight being made General of an Army obtains the title of Your Excellency though but a Lord Knight or meaner man by birth A Lieutenant-General is Right Honorable A Major-General Right Honorable A Collonel is Honorable and we give him the title of Your Honor. A Captain is Right worshipful From a Son to Father Your most dutiful and obedient Son From a Daughter Your loving and obedient Daughter From a Husband Your most affectionate Husband till death From a Wife Your faithful and loving Wife till death From a Servant Your most obedient and faithful Servant Forms for the concluding of Letters BUt whatsoever happen I shall be no other then c. I shall endeavour with the best of my care and industry whenever you desire the proofs of the obedience of c. If it could be perswaded that my absence gave you any disquiet or that my presence could afford you any service you should soon perceive by my speedy return how much I am c. If I am able to do you service there wants nothing but that you should command me the imployment there being nothing which I more desire than to witness my self continually c. There being no man who hath a firmer resolution to render you all the testimonies of a willing service in the quality of c. Let this for the present satisfie you till I shall meet with some better opportunity to shew how much I am c. The only happiness that I expect is that I may be able to change my words into effects that I might shew you how much I am really c. I shall now free your patience from reading any more give me leave only to make this conclusion that I am and shall be c. For every time I reflect upon your great obligations I am impatient of an opportunity to shew my self I cannot pass away the unquiet of my mind by any other way than by seeking occasions to testifie how much I am c. Be pleased to take this for a real truth from him who hath made an Oath to live and die c. This is the advice and friendly Counsel of c. And I hope there is nothing shall debar me from continuing for the time to come what hitherto I have been c. Neither is there any thing that I would omit whereby I might give you an assurance of fidelity to your Commands as protesting to live and die c. But I desire to testifie to you rather by words than by discourse how much I am c. Sir I beg you to accept this testimony of my gratitude and my earnest desires to be c. I never reckon up the Catalogue of my friends but I presently call to mind how much I am obliged to give you this Subscription c. My gratitude is as necessary as my being and I can sooner not be then not be most truly c. For I never think of your favours but it renews the remembrance of my engagements to be c. Though I have a very great press and urgency of business at present upon me yet shall my occasions never be so violent but that I will have leisure both to be and to tell you that I am c. I shall be contented to be counted ungrateful when I am less c. Sir if you doubt the truth of my service I beseech you to make use of that absolute power which you have acquired over me to oblige my endeavours to all manner of proofs that I am c. He pleased as yet to take my bare word till I can give you further testimonies how much I am c. Though I am debarr'd your sight yet I hope I am not envied the happiness of giving you notice how passionately I am c. I will lose my life rather than my resolution to die c. If
do believe I could not live in the fortunate Islands and having till I embrace you no other way of traffick but by Letters I am extreamly angry with my self that you have prevented me in returning our old correspondence Though I must acknowledge there is some justice in it for since you were the first that broke it 't was fit you should be the first to reestablish it I write thus of the honour of your favour assuring you notwithstanding that I could no way deserve it Therefore Sir give me leave to beg your pardon for my neglect if I were guilty which I shall never be in any thing that concerns you and to make it more clear to you I never ceas'd to honour you but onely not to express it was like a secret fire not quench'd but cover'd which became the more violent when it had less liberty to appear Wherefore Sir be confident that I shall make you see upon all occasions for what is just that I will never be less then I am Your c. A Familar Return of Thanks SIR THis negligence of my stile be pleas'd to esteem one of the marks of friendship between us Gratitude is one of a poor mans vertues This is the best Rhetorick you could expect in so few Lines and so I would renounce the world and all its promises if a mortal could do so to express my self but truly thankful to you for your exquisite favours The expedition of this messenger would permit me no further at this time but onely to set my hand to this protestation that I love you exceedingly that I honour you and am as much as any man can be in the world Your c. To his Friend inviting him into the Country SIR I will not send you studied complements I know you are born in a Country of good words I am here among Thorns and Thistles among people that are naturally affected with dulness and dream in the best company such as can give no other reason for their silence but that they are entreated not to speak in so much that you may walk our Village and hear nothing but whistling and which is a miracle our Coridons are here arrived to such a height of wilful ignorance as if they held their Lands by no other Tenure but that of never speaking to the purpose I should be quite out of heart if I had not your promise to relie on that you will suddenly give me a visit to witness what I am like to suffer this long vacation except I enjoy your company I wait for you as for a blessing and if you come not hither next week I proclaim to you that I am no longer Your c. To his sick Friend SIR The news of your sickness hath so alter'd my health that I may count my self a sharer in your misfortunes Really it hath so much griev'd me that the sorrow which I sustain is more then the fever which you endure Do you therefore take courage if you will that I should be in good health You know how much I am interested in your concernments In a word I assure you that if you do not quit your bed I shall be forc'd to betake my self to mine These are the absolute protests of Sir Your c. A Letter of Resolution WHY thus in Cynthia's sports do you delight And take from Loves all their due and right Yield brightest and his sweetest pleasures try Whose fires in funeral flames can onely die May I not live if all things plead not sin I wonder what strange sear doth keep thee in Though with Diana thou dost seem to vie Trust me thy face doth give thy words the lie More sit for Venus thou then her wilt prove There 's no Religion sweet but that of Love Were the Gods kinde and to my love agreed With eyes unwilling thou these Lines should read When shall I thee embrace intranc't and lie Languishing wrapt in Loves sweet extasie If Arts will not avail then Arms I le move And so my longing besome force thy love Yet us Loves warfare better will become Soft breathings best please love not the sierce Drum If that thou wilt I can more gentle be Lay shame aside and yield thy self to me Either thy self into my arms resign Or I must fall for I have vow'd thee mine To his Mistress desiring Enjoyment TEll me cruel fair one why When I ask you still deny You thereby unkind do prove Both to Nature and to Love Nature when she gave that eye That hand that lip that majesty Surely then she did not mean Here riches should be onely seen And not enjoy'd were not each sense A Sharer of your excellence Shee 'd wrong her self and so destroy Mankind by making you so coy Oh then yield and let me find That y' are thankful if not kind Cupid in your bosomes snow Losing his Shaft unbent his Bow And woo'd his Mother since he shot So long and wounded not Your eyes henceforth might be his Darts With which he slew so many hearts She did but with all gave you skill To heal again as well as kill She gave your eyes power to enflame A breath with all to cool the same You are just to use that breath To be a Sentencer of death Nay you are impious if you are Less merciful then you are fair And by denying needs must grant That you are proud or ignorant Where Women truly know their price 'T is pride not vertue makes them nice Let us Lucinda henceforth twine With close embraces Let us joyn Lip unto lip and reap the pleasure Of true Lovers without measure Till our Loves are by wonder grown From two bodies into one Yield Lucinda thy consent That from our true and just content Others may a perfect rule obtain How they should love how be belov'd again Thus she striveth to indite That can love but cannot write In every Line here may'st thou understand That Love hath sign'd and sealed with his hand These cannot blush although thou dost refuse them Nor will reply however you shall use them O modesty dist thou not me restrain How would I chide thee in this angry vain Pardon me dear if I offend in this With such delays my love impatient is I needs must write till time my saith approve And then I le cease but never cease to love Tears thou know'st well my heart cannot abide How I am angry when I least do chide Too well thou know'st what my creation made me And nature too well taught thee to invade me Thou know'st too well how what and when and where To write to speak to sue and to forbear By signes by sighs by motions and by tears When vowes should serve when oaths when smiles when prayers If any natural blemish blot my face Thou dost protest it gives my beauty grace And that attire I 'me used most to wear That 's the most excellent of all you swear Or if I wake or sleep or stand or