be empty Comical Dutchess Indeed I am obliged to them more than any other Nation for they give me all the due Respects and Homage to my Greatness for which I love that Nation very well 2. Attendant You have reason but I do observe there is nothing doth keep up a Court more than Dancing and several sorts and kinds of merry pastime for wheresoever there is Dancing and Sport Company will flock together 3. Attendant You say true Comical Dutchess I find my self full of pain I believe I shall fall in Labour 4. Attendant I hope then we shall have a young Prince or Princess soon Exeunt Scene 14. Enter three Gentlemen 1. Gent. I Saw Prince Shaddow 2. Gent. What Prince is he 1. Gent. Why he is the Creating Princess's Husband who made him a Prince 3. Gent. I thought no women could give Title to their Husbands unless they had been Soveraigns 2. Gent. O yes all women can give their Husbands Titles if they please 3. Gent. What Title 2. Gent. Why the title of Cuckolds 1. Gent. Indeed most women do magnifie their Husbands by those Titles 2. Gent. But let me tell you that those women that have Inheritary Honours although not Soveraigns may indue their Husbands with the same Honour but it is not generally so but his Children begot on her are indued and not the Husband yet some Husbands are As for Example a Lord Vicount Earl Marquiss Duke King or Emperor if the Honour as Title goeth to the Female for default of a Male in some Nations their Husbands are indued with their Titles but not commonly known to be so in England as a VVife with her Husband which is only during life and not Inhereditary but if their Titles are only during life and not Inhereditary it cannot derive to another that is not an Successor's for Inhereditary Honour goe like Intailed Lands it goeth only to the next Heir but those that are the dignified are like those that have Joynters or Annuitles for life so when a Husband receives a Dignity from a VVife or a VVife from a Husband it is but so much Honour for life 1. Gentleman But if they have Children those Children inherit the Honour 2. Gentleman Yes as having a right from that Parent that is the Dignifyer but if there be none of the line of the Dignifyer the Honour dies neither is the root of the Honour left to any more than one for though the branches of Honour spread to all the Children yet the root remains but with one For say a King have many Children they are all Princes but yet there can be but one that can inherit the Crown and Royaltie So if a Marquiss or Duke have many Children they are all Lords and Ladies if they be lawfully and in true VVedlock born otherwise they are not neither doth any more but one of the Legitimate Children inherit the Root as to be Marquess or Duke Dutchess or Marchioness neither do the Daughters inherit if there be Sons 1. Gent. But cannot a Dukes Daughter make her Husband a Prince 2. Gent. No not except she hath the Inhereditary Honour for if a Kings Daughter should marry a private Gentleman he would remain as only in the Title of a Gentleman unless the King did create a Title for him or bestow a Title on him 1. Gent. VVhy put case the Inhereditary Honour lay in the people and they elect a King hath that King no power to Create or to give Honour 2. Gent. No they may chuse Officers but not give Titles unless the people did dispossess them of their hereditary power and give it to any man and then the root of Honour lyes in him 1. Gent. Nor doth his Children receive no Titles from their Father 2. Gent. No for the Title he hath is none of his he hath it but during life unless the people will give a Lease as for two or three Lives yet they nominate those two or three Lives So neither can they dispose of their Leases or alter them but at the peoples pleasure like as those that are made Governors they cannot dispose of their Governments to whom they please as without the leave of those that placed them in the Government neither do his Children receive any Titles therefrom like as a Lord Mayor his Son is not my Lord Mayor after him unless he is made one nor his children have no place by his Office and an elective Prince is but as a Lord Mayor or rather like as a Deputy Governor who as I said may dispose of Places or Offices but not give Dignities Honours or Titles 1. Gent. I thank you for your Information for I was so ignorant as I knew nothing of Heraldry Exeunt Scene 15. Enter two Gentlemen 1. Gent. HAve you seen the Imaginary Queen yet 2. Gent. What Imaginary Queen 1. Gent. VVhy a Great Queen that every one goeth to kiss her hand 2. Gent. From what parts of the VVorld came she 1. Gent. From the North parts 2. Gent. And doe so many go to kisse her hand 1. Gent. Yes throngings of Common people 2 Gent. They would kiss the Dogs Tail if it were turned up and presented to them but do any of the Nobles and Gentry kiss her hand 1 Gent. Some few that are newly come out of the Country to see sights in the City 2 Gent. Pish in this Age there are so many of these kind of Bedlams as I am weary to hear of them as the Comical Dutchess the Creating Princess and the Created Prince Prince Shaddow and now the Imaginary Queen 1 Gent. Why Faith it is as good a sight as to see a Play 2 Gent. A puppet Play you mean but the truth is it is a disgrace to all noble persons and great dignities and true titles to be thus mocked by imitators it is a sign that all Europe is imbroiled in Wars so much as every one doth what they list 1 Gent. VVhy they are so far from being checkt or discountenanced for it as there are many true Princes great and noble persons as give the same respect and homage as if they were real Princes indeed and in truth 2 Gent. Then it if it were in my power I would divest those that had the right and true dignities and titles and put them upon those that only acted princely and royal parts since the Actors bear up so nobly and the Spectators do creep and crouch so basely but indeed both sides are Actors both the Spectators and Players only the one side Acts noble parts the other side base parts the one Acts the parts of Princes the other of Servants but I am sorrow to see True Honour wounded as it is 1 Gent. The truth of it is True Honour lies a bleeding and none doth offer to power in Balsimum Exeunt Scene 16. Enter the Imaginary Queen her Gentleman Usher bare headed leads her her Page holds up her Train her Woman follows her and that is all her Train a Company of
of my posterity Lord Singularity Why Sir it were better to lye in dark oblivion than to have a false light to devulge your disgrace and you had better pull out the root than to have a branch of dishonour ingrafted therein Lord Fatherly All these Arguments against Marriage is because you would injoy your Mistresses with freedom fearing you should be disturbed by a wife Lord Singularity That needs not for I observe married Men takes as much liberty if not more than Batchellors for Batchellors are affraid they should challenge a promise of Marriage and married Men are out of that danger Lord Father Then that is the reason that Batchellors Court Married wives and Married Men Courts Maides but howsoever Son if all Men should be of your mind there would be no Marring nor giving in Marriage but all must be in Common Lord Singularity That were best Sir for then there could be no Adultery committed or Cuckolds made Lord Fatherly For shame take courage and be not afraid of a Woman Lord Singularity By Heaven Sir I would sooner yield up my life to death thau venture my honour to a womans management Lord Father Well Son I shall not force you with threates or commands to marry against your will and good likeing but I hope Heaven will turn your mind towards marriage and sent thee a loving vertuous and discreet wife Scene 2. Enter the Lady Wagtaile the Lady Amorous Sir Timothy Compliment Sir Humphrey Bold and Sir Roger Exception SIr Timothy Compliment Bright beauty may I be Servant Lady Amorous If I have any beauty it was begot in your Eyes And takes light from your commendations Sir Timothy Compliment You are Lady the Starre of your Sex Lady Amorous No truely I am but a Meteor that soon goeth out Lady Wagtaile Preethy Sir Timothy Compliment and Lady Amorous do not stand prating here but let us go a broad to some place to devert the time Lady Amorous Dear Wagtaile whether shall we goe Sir Timothy Compliment Faith let us go to a Play Sir Humphrey Bold Let 's go to a Tavern Sir Roger Exception What with Ladyes Sir Humphrey Bold Why Ladyes have been in Tavernes before now Sir Roger Exception It were as good to carry them to a Bawdy-house Sir Humphrey Bold As good say you faith now I think of it better it were the only place to pass a way idle time Come Ladyes shall we go Lady Amorous Whether Sir Humphrey Bold To a Bawdy-house Lady Amorous O sve sve Sir Humphrey Bold how wantonly you talk Lady Wagtaile But would you carry us in good earnest to a Bawdy-house Sir Humphrey Bold Why do you question it when every house is a secret Bawdy-house Na Let me tell you there be many Right Worshipfull Nay Right Honourable and most Noble Pallaces made Bawdy-houses Sir Roger Exception Some perchance that are old and ruinous and the right owners out Sir Humphrey Bold No some that are new large and finely furnished and the owners stately proud scornfull and jeering living therein Sir Roger Exception They should take heed of jeering least they be jeered and of being scornfull least they be scorned Sir Humphrey Bold What say you Ladyes are you resolved Lady Wagtaile No No we will not go with you to such places now but I will carry you to a young Lady whose Father is newly dead and hath left her all his Estate and she is become a great heir Sir Roger Exception Perchance Lady she will not receive our visit if her Father be newly dead Lady Wagtaile I perceive you are ignorant of Funerall customes for widdowes heires and heiresses receives visits whilst the Corpes lyes above ground And they will keep them so much the longer to have so many more visitants nay sometimes they will keep them so long as there dissembling is perceived or so long as they stink above ground for if they bury not the Corpes and set empty Coffins for want of imbalming their miserableness will stench up the Nostrils of their vanity Sir Roger Vanity Nay by your savour Lady there are some that are buried whilst they are steeming hot Sir Humphrey Bold Those are only such whose Executors widdowes or widdowers seares they may revive again and rather than that they should do so they will bury them alive Lady Wagtaile You say rightly true Sir Humphrey Bold Sir Timothy Compliment Sweet beautyes let us go to see this Rich heiress Lady Amorous Content Sir Roger Exception But Ladyes are you acquainted with her Lady Wagtaile O no! But you may know that all women rather than want visits they will go to those they never saw nor spoak to but only heares of them and where they live and I can direct the Coachman to this Ladyes Lodging wherefore let us go Sir Humphrey Bold I shall not deny to visit a Rich heiress Sir Roger Exception I shall waite upon you Ladyes but Lady Wagtaile Nay never make buts but let 's go Lady Amorous Pray let us call Sir Serious Dumb to go along with us Lady Wagtaile Faith Amorous you love his Company because he can tell no tales Sir Humphrey Bold Pray call him not but let him alone for I dare sweare he is inventing of some useless and foolish Art Sir Timothy Compliment Is he so inventive say you but if his inventions is useless he invents in vain Sir Roger Exception Why may not a Dumb mans Inventions be as good as a blind for the most usefullest Artes were invented as the learned saith by one born blind Lady Wagtaile Me thinkes a dumb man should not have much wit for by my troath one that is dumb seemes to me like a fool nay one that speakes but little I cannot for my life but condemn him or her for an Ass Sir Humphrey Bold He may be a fool although he may chance to light on some inventions for Artes are oftner produced from chance than wit but let us go and leave him Lady Wagtaile whispers to Sir H. Bold Lady Wagtaile Faith Sir Humphrey Bold we must call him or otherwise my friend Amorous will be out of humour Sir Humphrey Bold Doth she love silence so well Lady Wagtaile No no it is that she loves secrecy so well Exit CHORUS In a minutes time is flown From a Child to Woman grown Some will smile or laughing say This is but a foolish Play By Reason a Comedy should of one dayes action be Let them laugh and so will I At there great simplicity I as other Poets brings Severall Nations Subjects Kings All to Act upon one stage So severall times in one Age Scene 3. Enter the Lady Orphant and Mrs. Acquaintance MIstriss Acquaintance How do you know the Lord Singularity is such a gallant man For he hath been out of the Kingdom this 7. yeares wherefore you could have no acquaintance you being yet very young Lady Orphant Although I have no acquaintance by sight or experienced knowledge yet by report I have for I remembred I heard my Father
will be very industrious if you please to set me to work Enter Maudlin Huswife her Mother she falls a beating her Maudlin You idle slut do you stand loytering here when it is more than time the Cows were milk'd Mall Mean-bred flings away her milking-pail Mall Mean-bred Go milk them your self with a murrain since you are so light-finger'd Maudlin I will milk your sides first The Mother goeth to beat her again Mall Mean-bred her daughter runs away from her mother she follows her running to catch her Master Inqui. I marry Sir this is right as a Farmers daughter should be but in my Conscience the other Maid that was here before her is a bastard begot by some Gentleman Exeunt Scene 14. Enter Sir John Argument and the Lady Conversation LAdy Conversa. Let me tell you Sir Iohn Argument Love delivers up the whole Soul to the thing beloved and the truth is none but one soul can love another Argum. But Justice Madam must be the rule of Love wherefore those souls which Love must give the bodies leave to joyn Conversat. O no pure souls may converse without gross bodies Argument Were it not for the Senses Madam souls could have no acquaintance and without an acquaintance there can be no reciprocal affection and will you make the Senses which are the souls chief confidence to be strangers or enemies Conversat. I would have them converse but not interrupt Argum. The bodies must have mutual friendship and correspondency with each other or otherwise they may dissemble or betray the souls or abuse the trust loose appetites or wandring senses or contrary humours and what can interrupt Love more than the disagreement of bodies Conversat. The Senses and Appetites of the Body are but as subject to the Soul Argument But 't is impossible for Forein Princes as I will compare two loving souls unto can live in peace and mutual amity if their subjects disagree Enter Mistris Troublesome Conversat. O Mistris Troublesome you are welcome for you shall end the dispute between Sir Iohn Argument and I Troublesome If you cannot decide the Dispute your selves I shall never do it But what is the Dispute Madam Conversat. Whether there can be a perfect friendship of Souls without a reciprocal and mutual conversation and conjunctions of Bodies Troublesome Faith Madam I think it would be a very faint friendship betwixt the Souls without the Bodies Conversat. I perceive Sir Iohn Argument and you would never make Platonick Lovers Troublesome Faith Madam I think Platonick is a word without sense Argument You say right Mistris Troublesome it is an insensible love Conversat. It is the Soul of Love Troublesome What 's that Madam a Ghost or Spirit Conversat. Indeed it hath no material body Argument No for it is an incorporal thing Troublesome What is an incorporal thing Sir Iohn Argument Why nothing Troublesome Pray leave this discourse or else you will talk nonsense Argument That 's usual in Conversation Conversat. Setting aside this discourse at Mistris Troublesomes request Pray tell me how the Lady Contemplation doth Troublesome Faith Madam by the course of her life one might think she were an incorporal thing Conversat. Why Troublesome Because she makes but little use of her Body living always within her Minde Conversat. Then her Body stands but as a Cypher amongst the Figures of her thoughts Troublesome Just so by my Troth Conversat. Pray bring me acquainted with the Lady Contemplation Troublesome If it be possible I will but the Lady Visitant can do it better than I Conversat. I am resolv'd I will visit her Exeunt Scene 15. Enter the Lord Courtship and the Lady Ward LOrd Courtship What is your passion over Lady Ward My passion will strive to maintain my honour and you may take my life but as long as I live my passion will fight in the quarrel But what man of honour will make a Bawd of her he intends to make his Wife and what man of honour will be cruel to those that are weak helplesse and shiftlesse and what man of honour will be uncivil to the meanest of our Sex It is more noble to flatter us than to quarrel with us but that I have heard you are valiant I should think you were a base coward and such a one that would quarrel in a Brothel-house rather than fight in a Battel But I perceive you are one that loves Pleasure more than Honour and Life more than Fame and I hate to be in that mans company or to make a Husband whose courage lies in Voluptousness and his life in Infamy I will sooner marry Death than such a man The Lady Ward goes out Lord Courtship alone Lord Courts Her words have shot through my soul and have made a sensible wound therein How wisely she did speak how beautiful appear'd Her minde is full of honour and the actions of her life are built upon noble principles so young so wise so fair so chaste and I to use her so basely as I have done O how I hate my self for doing so unworthily Exit Scene 16. Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely and Poor Virtue EFfemin. Lovely The more ground is troden on the easier the path to walk in Poor Virtue It seems so that you visit me so often Effem. Lovely Why thou art such sweet company and behav'st thy self so prettily as I cannot choose but visit thee Poor Virtue I would if I could behave my self so to the world as my indiscretion might not defame me Effem. Lovely Why do you think of a Fame Poor Virtue VVhy not since fame many times arises from poor Cottages as well as from great Palaces witness the Country labouring-man that was taken from the plough and made an Emperour as being thought sittest to rule both for Justice and VVisedome and he was more famous than those that were born of an Heroick Line and were of Royal dignity and David a shepherd became a King 'T is Merit that deserves a fame not Birth and sometimes Merit hath its desert though but seldome Effem. Lovely Thy discourse would tempt any man Poor Virtue Mistake not my discourse it hath no such devilish design for to tempt is to pervert 'T is true my Nature takes delight to delight and please others and not to crosse or displease any yet not to tempt or to delude with counterfeit demeanors or fair insinuating words smooth speech or oiled tongue to draw from Virtues side but to perswade and plead in Virtues cause Effem. Lovely Thy very looks would gain a cause before thy tongue could plead Poor Virtue Alas mans countenance is like the Sea which ebbs and flows as passion moves the minde Effem. Lovely I am sure Love moves my minde and makes it in a fiery heat Poor Virtue If it be noble Love it is like the Sun which runs about to give both light and heat to all the world that else would sit in darknesse and be both cold and steril so doth a noble minde run with industry to
I desire you will let her live with me this Poor Virtue Maudlin God bless you Honour from her it is not fit for a Lord and a great Noble-man to meddle with Virtue your Honour should not foul your fingers with her Besides she will never stay in a great mans house neither is it fit she should and your Honours servants will hate her like the Devil for she will please no body as she should do a very peevish ill-natur'd girle forsooth she is Lord Title Why how doth she agree then with you Maudlin Alas forsooth if it please your Honour Virtue may live in a Cottage when she will be whipt out of a Court or a great Lords Palace they may talk of her but they will never give her leave to live and board with them It may be they give their Chaplain leave to talk of her a Sundays or so forsooth but talk's but talk for they forget her the six days after and never mind her for indeed she is a very peevish girle and not fit for Gentlefolks company that 's the truth of it hardly for poor folks Lord Title VVhy you agree well with her Maudlin Nay by the faith of my body do I not for I can hardly goe to Market and be merry as I use to be and all long of her peevishnesse nay I cannot goe to order one of our busie Thrashers but she troubles me or to speak with the Carter but she whip in presently or discourse with the Plough-man about his plough-share how he should order it for my advantage but she troubles me or about our Husbandman how and where he should sow his Seed but she vexes me still Such a life the Gods help me as I am e'en weary of my self Speak Roger is it not true Roger True Maudlin as steel I never was merry since she vvas in my house the May-pole is dovvn since she came Maudlin I Roger that 't is the more the pity Roger And the Towns Green is a Meadow and the poor Big-pipers cheeks are fallen into a Consumption hardly wind to speak vvithall the Morris-dancers bells are silenc'd and their crosse garters held superstitious idolatrous and profane the May-Lord and his Lady depos'd and the Hobby-horse is forgotten nay the Whitson-Lord and Lady are banish'd Merry Wakes abolish'd and the poor Ale-wives beggar'd Maudlin I I and all since this melancholy girle Virtue came into our house She cries I cannot choose but cry Lord Title Thou art true Maudlin then Maudlin Yes with small beer that 's the calamity of it therefore blesse every good subject from so melancholy a thing as this girle Virtue is But we have a Daughter and it please your Honours worship that will give you good content and please most of your Houshold for she is a lusty Wench though I say 't that should not say 't Did you but see her swim like a Tench on our Town-green incircling the May-pole and at the end of a Horn-pipe when she is to be kiss'd how modestly the wryes her head away but so as to be civil nay she hath been well Educated my own natural Daughter for indeed Roger I was with Child with her before you maried me Roger Peace Maudlin all Truths are not to be spoken of for should that be many a Worshipful Person would be very angry but our Vicar made all well betwixt thee and me Maudlin But I beseech your Honour take my Daughter for you will find her another manner of woman than Virtue is for she is not like her ifaith nor any thing that belongs to her she is better blest than so Lord Title No I will have Poor Virtue or none Roger Faith if you have Virtue you are sure to have her poor for I never knew any of her Family rich the Gods do not blesse them I think in this world but if you will have her take her shall he not Maudlin Maudlin Yes Husband and the house is well rid of her and let us bless our selves for it for now we shall be like our Neighbours again we will not abate them an hair the best in the Parish shall not live merryer than we will now for all Sports Why Vanity and Sin Husband is the Liberty of the Subject and the seven Deadly Sins are the Fundamental Laws of the Kingdome from the greatest to the least if poor folks might have their right Well your Honour shall have her but you will be as weary of her as we have been the Gods bless your Honour but alas you do not know what this Girle Virtue is Lords have no guess at her Lord Title Well Maudlin let me have her I desire no more Maudlin Nor we neither if it pleases your Honour and so the Gods give you good of her Roger Let me speak to his Honour Maudlin Lord Title Do so Roger Roger I give your lordship many thanks Lord Title For what Roger For ridding our house of this troublesome Girl Lord Title And I thank you for it too Roger VVhen thanks on all sides happen we are eas'd Lord Title And I with your Poor Virtue am well pleas'd The Lord goes out As they were going forth Maudlin speaks Maudlin Mark the end of it Roger Roger Yes Maudlin the End Crowns the Work Exeunt Here ends my Lord Marquiss's Scene ACT IV. Scene 26. Enter the Lady Visitant to the Lady Contemplation who was musing to her self LAdy Visit. What always musing Shall I never find thee in a sociable humour Lady Contempl. I would you had come sooner or stayd longer away Lady Visit. Why prethee Lady Contempl. I will tell you A while since there came the Muses to visit me being all either mad or drunk for they toss'd and tumbl'd me and rumbl'd me about from one to the other as I thought they would a divided me amongst them At last came in the Sciences to visit me with sober Faces grave Countenances stayd and formal Behaviours and after they had Saluted me they began to talk very seriously to me their Discourse being Rational Probable Wise Learned and Experienc'd but all the while the Muses would not let me alone one pull'd me to Dance another to Sing another to play on Musick others to recite Verses speak Speeches and Act parts of Plays and the like Whereupon I gravely turned the incorporal head of my rational Soul nodding it to them to be quiet and let me alone but still they playd with me At last my Thoughts which are the language of the Soul spoke to them and pray'd them to forbear until such time as the Sciences were gone but they would not be quiet nor silent doe what I could but would interrupt the Sciences in the midst of their Discourse with their idle Rimes light Fancies and odd Numbers insomuch as the Sciences departed Whereupon the Muses did rejoyce and skip and run about as if they had been wilde And in this jocund humour in came the Arts even a whole Common-wealth for there were not
is prevalent Nan but what manner of man is this man that my Father is treating with is he handsome or rich or famous or honoured with title for I would not put my father to charges and not have a Husband worth my Portion Nan He is rich and a thriving man Mistriss Odd-Humour That is to say a rich miserable man and when I am marryed to him I shall be his poor miserable wife for he will not allow me any thing to spend hardly to eat Nan Then your Chair will be big enough for you Mistriss Odd-Humour Or I shall be little enough for my Chair for a spare diet will make bare bones Nan If you be lean you will want a Cushion unless your Husband will allow you one Mistriss Odd-Humour A miserable Husband will never do that for they think ease breeds Idleness Nan If he be miserable he will be pleased you shall be idle for exercise doth cause a hungry Stomack but if he be a jealous Husband he will not be pleased you should be idle for idleness breeds wantoness Mistriss Odd-Humour A jealous Husband and a miserable is to a woman much a-like for the one bars a wife from Company the other from Meat the one will not allow her fine Cloathes the other dares not let her wear fine Clothes the one will not maintain Servants to wait on her the other dares not trust Servants to wait upon her lest they should be corrupted to be Pimps or Bawds also a miserable Husband and a Prodigal one is a-like to a wife the one keeps all his wealth and spends none the other spends all and keeps none the one will give his wife none the other will spare his wife none from himself and Vanities and Vices thus a wife is poor or unhappy either in a spender or a sparer but if my Father would not cast me and my Portion a-way is to marry me to a man whose bounty or liberality is within one part of his wealth as three parts liberality and four parts wealth and one that hath more love than jealousy more merit than title more honesty than wealth and more wealth than necessity Nan But if you never marry till your Father get you such a Husband you will dy an old Maid Mistriss Odd-Humour I had rather dy an old Maid than be an unhappy Wife Exeunt Scene 11. Enter Sir Thomas Gravity and his Lady SIr Thomas Gravity Why are you angry with me because my Brother is an enemy to the marriage I was a Friend to it and did my part consenting to what you desired and why are you angry with me because the Laws have disanulled the marriage I cannot alter the Laws Lady But your Brothers power with the Arch-Prince and the Arch-Princes power on the Judges and Lawyers Divines and Church-men hath corrupted the Laws and caused Injustice Sir Thomas Gravity That 's none of my fault I have not power to mend them but let me have so much power with you as to perswade you to be patient in matters where your impatience will do you no good also let me Counsel you to advise your Daughter to endeavour to forget my Nephew at least not to love him as a Husband but to place her affections upon some other man for she being freed by the law may marry again who she shall think best to chuse And to draw her off from her Melancholy humour you must perswade her to divert her self and thoughts with variety of Company and to take delight in such things as other Ladyes use as fine Dressing rich Cloathing sportfull Dancing merry Meeting and the like and she being very handsome since she is grown to womans years will be admired praised and sued too in which admirations and praises women take glory and are proud to be wooed for it is the pleasure of their life and the life of their pleasure Lady But how if I cannot perswade her to associate her self with young Company like her self or to wear fine Cloaths or to take pleasure in sports and plays Sir Thomas Gravity Command her to adorn her self bravely and to go to Balls Playes and Masks and those pleasures will steal on her unawares and no question but a little time will make her take such delight therein as she will be so fond of Company and Bravery as you will find it difficult if not impossible to perswade her from it Lady I will take your Counsel and follow your advice Exeunt Scene 12. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. My Lord hath sent for his Son to come home for to marry with the Arch-Prince's Neece 2 Gent. She is a Lady that hath more Wealth than Beauty and more Title than Wit 1 Gent. My Lord cares not to marry his Son to Beauty or Wit but to Riches and Honour 2 Gent. My Lord is Covetous and Ambitious 1 Gent. So are all wise men for they know that Wealth and Honour are the Pillars and Supporters to hold up their Familyes that makes Fathers desirous and industrious to marry their Sons to great Fortunes and not to great Beautyes that their successors may not be buryed in Poverty for Beauty is only for delight but not for continuance Beauty lives only with fond Youth Riches with wife Age and Dignity Crowns antient Riches for a long and rich succession is a Gentlemans Pedigree 2 Gent. I thought Merit had been the foundation of a Gentleman 1 Gent. So it is sometimes but not always for where Merit Dignified one Family Riches Dignified a hundred poor Merit is buryed in Oblivion unless Fame builds him a Monument whereas Riches build Monuments to Fames Palace and bring Fame down to his Palace but Merit without the assistance of Riches can neither feed nor cloth nor sustain nor cannot buy Houses to live in nor Lands to live on it cannot leave anything for Antiquity but the memory of it self wherefore my Lord is wise to chase Riches for his Son 1 Gent. But 't is a question whether his Son will take them and leave the Lady be once was marryed too for 't is said that she is grown an extraordinary Beauty Exeunt Scene 13. Enter Lady Gravity and Lady Perfection her Daughter in black very handsome LAdy Gravity Will not you obey my commands Lady Perfection Yes Madam so far as it is my duty Lady Gravity Then do as I command you dress fine and keep Company Lady Perfection Gay Cloths Madam and my mind will not be suitable my indisposed humour and Company will not be agreeable neither know I how to behave my self in this condition I am in nor how to associate my self for since my marriage is disanull'd I am neither Maid Virgin Widow nor Wife Lady Gravity Come come you are my Daughter that 's sufficient Exeunt Scene 14. Enter two Men 1 MAn Faith I pitty my young Lord for since he is returned from his tedious travels he is kept Prisoner at the Court for the Arch-Prince and his Father will not suffer
him to stir out no not so much as out his Lodgings but that 's not all for they will not suffer him to think for their Tongues disturb all his Meditations the one fills his Ears and Head with promises the other rants in threats the Prince strives to hire him with Wealth and Honour to marry his Neece and his Father stands ready if he denyes to load him with Curses 2 Man The Princes Hire will sooner bring him to consent than the Fathers Load Exeunt Scene 15. Enter Father and Son LOrd Dorato Son if you disobey my commands concerning this marriage as to refuse it by heavens fair light I swear I will load you with so many Curses as shall sink you down to Hell The Father goes out Lord Melancholy alone Lord Melancholy By Heavens fair light I swear I wish I were covered with the darkness of Death but my Fathers Curses may exclude me from Heavens blessings Enter a Servant Servant My Lord your Father desires your presence Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Mistriss Odd-Humour and her Maid Nan MIstriss Odd-Humour O Nan I have had such a misfortune as never was Nan What misfortune Mistriss Odd-Humour Why I was sitting in that little Chair you know I take delight to sit in and was singing of Ballads not expecting that any stranger would come into my Chamber without my notice but as I was sitting and singing in comes my Father and the Gentleman you told me of that was to be my Husband whereat I was so surprized as I forgot the Chair was so little I could not readily part from it I started up in a fright and run away the Chair being so little in the seat stood so close to me as it went a-long with me and my back being towards my Father and the Gentleman saw the Chair as it stuck to me the Gentleman seeing the Chair hanging there told my Father that he perceived that I his Daughter was of so lazy a Nature that rather than stay or want a seat I would have a Chair tyed to my breech whereupon he hath broak the agreement he made with my Father and my Father for anger hath vowed to break or burn my Chair O Nan what shall I do to save my Chair for to lose both Chair and Husband will be too great a loss Nan Which had you rather lose the Gentleman or the Chair Mistriss Odd-Humour O the Gentleman Nan for he will not do me half so much service as the Chair hath done me he will never bear with me as the Chair hath bore me and I perceive by his she humour and Courteous Nature that he would sooner break my head with a Chair than ease my hips with a Seat therefore good Nan devise some way to save my Chair from Execution and the fates I hope as a blessing to me have made the Chair a means to break the marriage betwixt this Gentleman and me Nan It seems he loves an active wife Mistriss Odd-Humour Faith all Fools love busy women Nan The best way is to speak to your Mother to pacify your Father Mistriss Odd-Humour I will take your advice Exeunt Scene 17. Enter the Lady Perfection LAdy Perfection And is he married Heavens send him joy and me patience Heaven Crown his life with Happiness and mine with Peace and may he have posterity that may live long and flourish high that may keep alive his memory though I should be forgotten in the grave yet Heaven grant his fame may live eternally Enter Lady Gravity Lady Gravity Daughter have you heard of your Husbands marriage Lady Perfection Yes Madam Lady Gravity 'T is reported that the Princess whom he is married to is ill-favoured foolish and peevish Lady Perfection He is too wise to consider outward favour and for wit he hath enough for himself and his wife and his sweet and noble Nature and behaviour will equalize her peevish humour Lady Gravity There are Balls Masks and Playes to be extraordinary for the joy of this marriage wherefore Daughter I desire you to adorn your self and appear in those Assemblyes Lady Perfection I shall obey you Madam Exeunt Scene 18. Enter Lord Melancholy and an old Servant of his SErvant I wonder your Lordship should be so Melancholy that hath wealth at will it is enough for such poor men as I to be Melancholy Lord Melancholy I would thou hadst my wealth so I had thy freedome Servant O Sir there is no Freedome in Poverry Lord Melancholy Nor no Poverty in Freedome for freedome is the wealth of the Gods Servant If it pleased the Gods would I was bound to Riches Lord Melancholy I wish thou wert so I was free of my Princesses Shackels Exeunt Scene 19. Enter Sir Thomas Gravity and his Lady LAdy Husband the Arch-Prince hath sent a Messenger to give us notice he will come and visit my Daughter Sir Thomas Gravity I hear he is much enamored with your Daughters Beauty since he saw her at the last Ball Lady I will go to her and make her dress her self fine to entertain him Sir Thomas Gravity Her Beauty is bravery enough wherefore she needs no other adornment but what Nature hath drest her in Lady But Art gives additions Exeunt Scene 20. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. The Emperor I hear is sending Embassadors to the Arch-Prince to treat of a marriage betwixt the Arch-Prince and the Emperors Daughter 2 Gent. The report is that she is a fair and Virtuous Lady and the Prince will have great advantages by the alliance with the Emperour 1 Gent. He will so wherefore I hope and pray that the match may be for the good of this Kingdome Exeunt Scene 21. Enter the Arch-Prince and the Lady Perfection ARch-Prince Fair Lady grant me your love and I will ask no more but what accompanyes it your person which I will make an equal to my self Lady Perfection Gracious Sir had I a Virgins Love and Person pure to equal it I would present it to your Highness but both my Love and Person have been wedded unto another man and though the Law hath made a divorce yet Death hath not dissolved the marriage Arch-Prince Heaven hath given you Virtue which keeps your person pure and like a precious Diamond doth remain for though it hath or should have several purchasers yet doth it lose nothing of its value or worth and though you have been wedded to another man your Virtuons Chastity is still as pure as in your Virgins Estate and by the Laws your person is set free and for the Love you gave may be called back or drawn away since 't is not entertained Lady Perfection 'T is true I am Chast and so I will remain and though the law hath set my person free my conscience is not yet at liberty nor will that love I gave away return no more than life that 's past rise from the Urn wherefore most noble Sir ask me not for that which I have not to give you Arch-Prince Equal
out Here ends my Lord Marquesses FINIS This written by my Lord Marquess THE SECOND PART OF Youths Glory and Deaths Banquet ACT I. Scene 2. Enter the Lord de l'Amour and the Lady Innocence the Lord de l'Amour seems to appear angry LAdy Innocence My Lord what makes you frown on me surely I never willingly offended you Lord de l'Amour But the report I hear of you offends me Lady Innocence I hope my behaviour is not lyable to any aspertion or evil censure for as you have used me civily so I have behaved my self modestly Lord de l'Amour I perceive you are a subtil insinuating young Lady Lady Innocence Think me not subtil for being so brod as not to slight your Love not so uncivil as to scorn your noble favours but strive to merit your worthy affections but if I have erred in my endeavours pray pardon me and if you please to tell me my errour I shall rectify it Lord de l'Amour I hear you will speak more lyes than tell truths Lady Innocence Truly I am too strict a Votary to truth to tell a lye Lord de l'Amour I should be glad you were vowed one of her Order Lady Innocence I am so and have taken the habit of sincerity upon me Lord de l'Amour Tell me truly do you never use to lye Lady Innocence If you have opinion that I never or seldome speak truth let me say what I will you will still believe it is a lye but truly I did never tell a lye as I do know of but did alwayes speak truth Lord de l'Amour I hear to my great grief you have many faults pray mend them Lady Innocence I am sory there are so many ill reports or rather aspersions laid on me as to grieve you but surely youth cannot commit many faults but Age that hath had time to commit faults in but if you can believe my faults surmounts not all accounts I shall desire to know them Lord de l'Amour Examine yourself and you will find them Lady Innocence I shall call a particular Councel and make a General search and what thoughts words or actions I can find guilty or prove Criminal I shall condemn and sacrifice them on the Altar of Repentance and crave mercy and forgiveness Lord de l'Amour Pray do so Ex. Lady Innocence alone 'T is strange his humour should be so suddenly changed from loving professions kind expressions and pleasing smiles to sharp words and angry frowns and that he should seem to love me as much as he did now to believe me so little as it seems he doth I hope it is only the superfluities of his affections that runs into the indiscretion of jealousie Ex. Enter Sanspareile and her Audience As soon as she hath taken her standing place A Messenger Enters Messenger The Queen of Attention is come to be one of your Audience The Company makes a bustle Enter the Queen of Attention and her Train Sir Thomas Father Love kneels down and kisses her hand Queen I am come to hear and see your Daughter whom fame reports to be the wonder of this Age Father It had been more proper and fit for my Daughter to have waited at your Court-Gates untill your Majesty had comanded her into your presence than for your Majesty to come hither to hear and see her but she being a plain bred girle durst not be so bold Queen If your Daughters wit be answerable to her beauty she is a wonder indeed Sanspareile comes off from the place where she stands and makes 3. Obeysances and coming near kneels down and kisses the Queens hand Lady Sanspareile Madam this gracious honour and honourable grace is beyond the management of my young years the evil of my weak confidence and the compass of my little wit and my obscure breeding hath made me so Ignorant that I know not in what manner I should behave or address myself towards your Majesty but if I commit faults in misbehaviour pray impute it to my ignorant youth and not to disobedience Queen I see nothing yet in your behaviour but that you may be not only a pattern for young but also for grave Age to take example from Sanspareile Madam the generosity of your Maiesties Nature the Magnificence of your Majesties mind and the Charity of your Majesties disposition gives an overflowing commendation like to the goodness of the Gods that gives more to the Creature than the Creature can deserve Queen Let me tell you young Lady your speeches are as pleasing to the eare as your beauty is delightfull to the eye Sanspareile Your Majesty is like a Deity can turn or translate words like poor Mortals into a glorified sence like as into a glorified body Queen Sir Thomas Father Love if your Daughter speak at all times and alwayes so eloquently I should not wonder you let her speak in publick Father I beseech your Majesty that you will rather judge me an over fond Father which is natural than a vain opiniatour in that I give her liberty to speak in publick Queen If it were a vanity it might be well forgiven but pray let me hear her speak Sanspareile makes three obeysances as she steps back from the Queen to her standing-place and then ascends Sanspareile Great Queen I nor no other should offer or dare to speak before or to such Supreme persons as your Majesty without a sore premeditation for the words and behaviours of speakers should be fitted to the degrees and qualities Powers Offices and Authorities of the Auditory But your Majesties commands makes that an obedient duty that would otherwayes be a presumption wherefore on the ground of duty I speak at this time before your Majesty but the Royalty of your person the brightnesse of your beauty the fame of your vertues and the glorious splendour of your Majestical Grandeur hath so amazed me that my understanding is as it were blind which will cause my tongue to stagger and my words to run stumbling out of my mouth but I hope your Justice will pardon them For as Divine Justice belongs to the Gods moral Justice to Nature so humane Justice to Monarchial Princes which justice is weighed and measured out according to merit or desert be they good or bad For which Justice Gods and Princes are both feared and loved and Justice is the chief Pillar or upholder of Monarchical States and Common-wealths for without Justice there can be no Government and without Government there can be no Rule and without Rule there can be no peace and where peace is not there will be warrs and warrs causeth ruine and destruction But for the most part those Kingdomes that have arrived to the height of Glory declines or falls to ruine The reason is that a low condition is necessitated and weak wherefore they seek for help to strengthen themselves which makes or rather forces every particular person to associate unite either by Laws of Covenants to which they submit
lay Ex. ACT II. Scene 5. Enter the Lady Sanspareile all in white Satin like as a Bride and her Father and her audience which are all Lovers these stand gazing upon her SAnspareile This Noble assembly may chance to think it a vanity in me never to receive any particular visit or adresse from any particular or single person but I do so by reason life is lost in particular acquaintance as small Rivers are in running through the earth But in the publick life swims as in a full Sea having a fair gale of observation and Sailes of opportune time to swim withall marking the Card of actions and the Needle of dispositions drawn or turned by the Loadstone of affection to the North-pole of Experience to guide me safe from the Rocks of slander and quick-sands of scandal till I come to the Port of death there to unload my Lifes Merchandise and I hope my Voyage may be so prosperous as I may be inriched with the praises of After-Ages Likewise the reason why I choose to speak in publick is that I would not speak idely for in publick I shall take care of what I speak and to whom I speak when in private visitations to single persons my speech may be carelesse with negligence in which I may throw away my time with my words For to speak to no purpose is to make words useless and words is the marks to distinguish things and Figures to number merits with and Notes to record the noble Acts of men But at this time I am to speak by my Fathers command upon a Subject which my contemplation hath no acquaintance with which is marriage and I hear by my Father that you have all treated with him or rather intreated him to bestow me in marriage which is to make me unhappy not but that I believe what I hear which is that you are all persons of Quality Birth Breeding and Merit far beyond my desert yet with the best if any best there be being all worthy yet were I a wife to any one I might be unhappy by reason marriage is an incumbered life although the Husband and the Wife were fitly matcht for years Births Fortunes Dispositions Humours Capacities Wits Conversations Constancies Vertues and affections and first by your leave I will discourse of mens marriage by reason Man being accounted the Supremer Creature and alwayes bearing Rule he shall be first placed As for marriage to men it is a great hinderance to a speculative life it cuts off Phancies Wings and quenches out the Poetical Fire it breaks the Engine of invention disturbs sweet contemplation corrupts honest Counsels obstructs all Heroick actions obscures fame and often times causes infamy by the wifes inconstancies and many times by her indiscretion for a man is dishonoured if his wife is but thought wanton or but inclining to be amorous and though she be as sober in her Nature and as constant as any woman can be yet the very suspition is a disgrace and if the suspition is a disgrace what is a visible truth His very Neighbours makes Horns as he passeth by their doors whilst he sadly and shamefully hangs down his head with a dejected countenance which makes him seem a Coward and a Fool although it be unjust that the faults of the wife should be a blemish to the Husbands honour yet so it is this being the greatest cause why Husbands are jealouse which jealousie is more for their Honours sake than for their Wives affections thus you see how dangerous a thing it is for man to marry who must trust his honour to the management of a Foolish Woman and women naturally like children inconstant unlesse education doth rectifie their frail natures peevish humours various appetites and inconstant affection Likewise marriage is not only apt to corrupt the mind with jealousie but with Covetousnesse for the extreme fondnesse and natural love of Parents to their Children maks them strive by all their endeavours to inrich them this makes them gripe their Tennants pinch and half starve their servants quarrel and dispute with their neighbours corrupt Judges take Bribes besides it makes men apt to rebell and turn Traitorus murmuring at their Taxes and impositions it also makes them timorous and fearful in warrs by reason their wife and children may be ruined by their death Also it makes them dull in their Conversations by reason they are alwayes plodding for their worldly affairs and for the Muses had a husband time to entertain them yet the wife would right them or drive them from him with their quarreling disputes or sencelesse prizes besides most women are as jealouse of the Muses as of their Maids but to treat or discourse of married women is to discourse of a most unhappy life for all the time of their lives is insnared with troubles what in breeding and bearing children what in taking and turning away Servants directing and ordering their Family counting their expences and disbursing their revenues besides the vexations with their servants for their quarreling and combining for their sloth and sluttery for their spoiles and carlessnesse for their treachery and couzenage and if they have Children what troubles and griefs do unsue Troubled with their frowardnesse and untowardnesse the care for their well being the fear for their ill doing their grief for their sicknesse and their unsufferable sorrow for their death Yet this is the best part and not to be avoided But if these troubles be joyned with an ill Husband it heightens their torments for if he be a Drunkard she had better be marryed to a Beast her nostrils is stencht with the Lees of wine her eyes are offended with his rude behaviour and her ears are struck with a cursed noise of cursing and Oaths and if he be a Gamester she lives in an unsetled condition she knows not how soon she may want for if she have plenty one day she may be in a condition to beg the next And if her Husband be inconstant and loves variety of women O how jealousie torments her besides the wrongs she suffers from him what affronts she receives from his Mistresse How is she dispised amongst her neighbours sleighted by her servant suspected by the world for having some defect as either to be incontinent sluttish foolish froward crosse unkind ill natured sickly or diseased when perchance the woman may be worthy to be marcht with a temperate wise valiant honest rich and honourable man and if women go fine and take pleasure in themselves and Garments their Husbands are jealouse and if they regard not themselves or Garments their Husbands dislikes them For though men will swear to their wives they like them better in their old cloaths than other women in their glorious Apparrel because they would not have them expensive yet if their wives neglect themselves regarding not their dressing but sleights all outward Adornments and change of Garments as prodigal spend-thrifts they starve their Husbands esteem in their thrifty plainness Consumes
from the bower of bliss into the grave of life the habitation of death from a young Beauty to an old doting Woman Oh I will tear this letter that hath deceived me but stay I will keep this letter to make sport amongst the young Ladies which sport may perchance insinuate me into some favour with the young Ladies for as idle and ridiculous pastime or means as this is hath got many times good success amongst Ladies wherefore I will for their sport-sake jestingly Court Mother Matron and in the mean time of the Progress write her a letter Exit ACT III Scene 11. Enter Madamoiselle Ambition and Monsieur Inquisitive INquisitive I hear Madamoiselle Ambition you are to marry Monsieur Vain-glorious Ambition No for I am too honest to marry one man and love admire and esteem another man beyond him but when I marry I will marry such a one as I prize honour love and admire above all other men or else I will never marry Inquisitive What man could you esteeem honour and love most Ambition He that I thought had the noblest Soul and had done the most worthyest Actions Inquisitive But put the case that man that were as you would have him were so ingag'd as you could not enjoy him in lawful mariage Ambition I could lawfully enjoy him although I could not lawfully marry him Inquisitive As how Ambition As in Contemplation for I could enjoy his Soul no otherwise if I were maried to him for if I were maried I could but contemplate of his Merits please my self with the thoughts of his Virtues honour his generous Nature and praise his Heroick Actions And these I can do as much although I should live at distance from him nor never be his Wife for the mariage of Bodies is no enjoyment of Souls Inquisitive This would only be an opinion of delight but no true enjoyment of pleasure for though an Opinion may affright the Soul yet the Opinion cannot pleasure the Body But say an Opinion could delight the Soul without the Senses yet the pleasures of the Senses are to be preferred before the delight of the Soul for the truth is that the spirits of life take more delight in sensual pleasures than in the Souls imagination for life lives in the Senses not in the Soul for were there no Senses there would be no Life Ambition By your favour there is life in the Soul when Death hath extinguish'd the Senses Inquisitive That 's more than you know you believe it only upon report but who hath had the trial or experience of the truth of it So that the report is upon an unknown ground and your belief is built upon an unsure Foundation Ambition What belief is for my advantage I will strive and indeavour to strengthen it on what foundation soever it 's built upon Exeunt Scene 12. Enter Monsieur Frisk and Mother Matrons Maid FRisk You will pardon me pretty Maid for causing you to stay so long for an Answer of your Mistris's Letter Maid There requires no pardon Sir for I have been very well entertain'd by your man I thank him Frisk I perceive my man hath had better fortune than his Master for he hath had youth to entertain but I hope if you receive the mans entertainment so thankfully you will not refuse the Masters Maid My Mistris would be jealous of your Worship if you should entertain me Frisk Why doth your Mistris love me so much Maid So much as she cannot sleep quietly for dreaming of you nor lets me sleep for she wakes me every night to tell me her dreams Frisk What dreams she Maid One dream was she dream'd that she was Diana and you Acteon Frisk What to set horns on my head Maid No my Mistris said that she in her dream did more as a Godess ought to have done than Diana did for she was generous in her dream and not cruel for instead of horning you she invited you into her Bath Frisk I hope you were one of her Nymphs Maid Another time she dream'd you were Mercury and she Herce and another that she was Venus and you Adonis but the last night she awaked out of a fearful dream Frisk What dream was that Maid She dream'd that she was Queen Dido and you the Prince AEneas and when you were ship'd and gone away she stab'd her self Frisk If she were Dido I should prove AEneas Maid On my Conscience she fetch'd as many sighs when she awak'd and made as many pitious complaints and lamentations as if her dream had been true and she really bad been Queen Dido insomuch as I was afraid that she would have killed he self indeed and was running forth the Chamber to call in company to hinder her but that she commanded me to stay saying that it was but the passion of her dream for she hoped that you would prove a more constant and faithful Lover than to leave her to despair Frisk The next time she is in the same passion tell her I will be like AEneas meet her in Hell In the mean time carry her this Letter Maid Lord Lord she will be a joy'd woman to receive a letter from you and I shall be a welcome Messenger unto her and the letter will be worth a new gown to me Frisk I wish it may be a gown of price to thee Exeunt Scene 13. Enter Monsieur Satyrical and Madamoiselle Bon' Esprit BOn Esprit How shall I pacifie my companions or qualifie their spleens who will be in a furious rage when they perceive and know my real love to you for they made me as their hook to the line of their Angle and hope to catch you like a Gudgion Satyrical All that Angle do not catch yet you have drawn me forth of the salt Satyrical Sea Bon' Esprit But their desire is that you should lie gasping on the shore of Love Satyrical Would they be so cruel as not to throw me into a fresh River Bon' Esprit No for they joy in the thought of your torments and their general prayers are to Cupid imploring him to wound you with a golden-headed Arrow and she you love with an Arrow headed with lead As for their particular prayers they are after this manner One prays you may sigh your self into Air and the Air so infectious as it may plague all the Satyrical of your Sex Another prayeth you may weep tears of Vitriol and that the sharpness of those tears may corrode your soul Another prays that your passion of love may be so hot as it may torment you as Hell-fire doth the damned but Mother Matron besides saying Amen to all their prayers makes her prayers thus That she for whose sake you must endure all these torments may be the oldest and most ill-favour'd deform'd woman that ever Nature Accident and Time made Satyrical She would have me in Love with her self it seems by her prayer Bon' Esprit If she did hear you she would die for want of Revenge
us go then Exeunt Scene 4. Enter Monsieur Malateste to his Wife Madam Bonit MAlateste Lord how ill-favour'd you are drest to day Bonit VVhy I am cleanly Malateste You had need be so for if you were ill-favour'dly drest and sluttish too it were not to be endur'd Bonit VVell Husband I will strive to be more fashionably drest Exeunt Scene 5. Enter Monsieur Pere and Monsieur Frere as newly come from Travelling MOnsieur Pere Well Son but that you are as a stranger having not seen you in a long time I would otherwise have chid you for spending so much since you went to travel Frere Sir travelling is chargeable especially when a man goeth to inform himself of the Fashions Maners Customs and Countries he travelleth through Enter Madam la Soeur and Monsieur Marry her Husband where they salute and welcome their Brother home Pere Look you Son I have increas'd my Family since you went from home your Sisters Beauty hath got me another Son Soeur And I make no question but my Brothers noble and gallant Actions will get you another Daughter Pere Well Son I must have you make haste and marry that you may give me some Grand-children to uphold my Posterity for I have but you two and your sister I hope will bring me a Grand-son soon for her Maids say she is sick a mornings which is a good sign she is breeding although she will not confess it for young marry'd Wives are asham'd to confess when they are with Child they keep it as private as if their Child were unlawfully begotten Monsieur Frere all the while looks upon his Sister very stedfastly Marry Me thinks my Brother doth something resemble my Wife Frere No sure Brother so rude a made face as mine can never resemble so well a shap'd face as my sisters Marry I believe the Venetian Ladies had a better opinion of your face and person than you deliver of your self Soeur My Brother cannot choose but be weary comming so long a Journey to day wherefore it were fit we should leave him to pull off his boots Pere Son now I think of 't I doubt you are grown so tender since you went into Italy as you can hardly endure your boots to be roughly pull'd off Frere I am very sound Sir and in very good health Pere Art thou so Come thy ways then Exeunt Scene 6. Enter Monsieur Malateste and Madam Bonit his Wife MAlateste Wife I have some occasion to sell some Land and I have none that is so convenient to sell as your Joynture Bonit All my Friends will condemn me for a fool if I should part with my Joynture Malateste Why then you will not part with it Bonit I do not say so for I think you so honest a man that if you should die before me as Heaven forbid you should Malateste Nay leave your prayers Bonit Well Husband you shall have my Joynture Malateste If I shall go fetch it She goes out and comes back and brings the writings and gives it him and then he makes haste to be gone Bonit Surely Husband I deserve a kiss for 't Malateste I cannot stay to kiss Enter Madam Bonits Maid Joan. Ioan. Madam what will you have for your supper for I hear my Master doth not sup at home Bonit Any thing Ione a little Ponado or Water-gruel Ioan. Your Ladyships Diet is not costly It satisfies Nature as well as costly Olio's or Bisks and I desire onely to feed my Hunger not my Gusto for I am neither gluttonous nor lickerish Ioan. No I 'll be sworn are you not Exeunt Scene 7. Enter the Sociable Virgins and two Grave Matrons MAtron Come Ladies what discourse shall we have to day 1 Virgin Let us sit and rail against men 2 Matron I know young Ladies love men too well to rail against them besides men always praise the Effeminate Sex and will you rail at those that praise you 2 Virgin Though men praise us before our faces they rail at us behind our backs 2 Matron That 's when you are unkind or cruel 3 Virgin No 't is when we have been too kind and they have taken a surfet of our company 1 Matron Indeed an over-plus of Kindness will soon surfet a mans Affection 4 Virgin Wherefore I hate them and resolve to live a single life and so much I hate men that if the power of Alexander and Caesar were joyn'd into one Army and the courage of Achilles and Hector were joyn'd into one Heart and the wisedom of Solomon and Ulysses into one Brain and the Eloquence of Tully and Demosthenes into one Tongue and this all in one man and had this man the Beauty of Narcissus and the youth of Adonis and would marry me I would not marry him 2 Matron Lady let me tell you the Youth and Beauty would tempt you much 4 Virgin You are deceiv'd for if I would marry I would sooner marry one that were in years for it were better to chuse grave Age than fantastical Youth but howsoever I will never marry for those that are unmaried appear like birds full of life and spirit but those that are maried appear like beasts dull and heavy especially maried men 1 Matron Men never appear like beasts but when women make them so 1 Virgin They deserve to be made beasts when they strive to make women fools 2 Virgin Nay they rather think us fools than make us so for most Husbands think when their Wives are good and obedient that they are simple 1 Virgin When I am maried I 'll never give my Husband cause to think me simple for my obedience for I will be crose enough 3 Virg. That 's the best way for Husbands think a cross and contradicting Wife is witty a hold and commanding Wife of a heroick spirit a subtil and crafty Wife to be wise a prodigal Wife to be generous a false Wife to be beautiful And for those good qualities he loves her best otherwise he hates her nay the falser she is the fonder he is of her 4 Virgin Nay by your favour for the most part Wives are so inslav'd as they dare not look upon any man but their Husbands 1 Matron What better object can a woman have than her Husband 1 Virgin By your leave Matron one object is tiresome to view often when variety of objects are very pleasing and delightful for variety of objects clear the senses and refresh the mind when only one object dulls both sense and mind that makes maried wives so sad and melancholy when they keep no other company but their Husbands and in truth they have reason for a Husband is a surfet to the Eyes which causes a loathing dislike unto the mind and the truth is that variety is the life and delight of Natures works and Women being the only Daughters of Nature and not the Sons of Iove as men are feigned to be are more pleased with variety than men are 1 Matron Which is no honour to the Effeminate Sex
VVherefore Lady take me and make your self happy and me No Musk nor Civet courtly words I use Nor Frenchez-pan promises to abuse Your softer Sex nor Spanish sweets to tell And bribe your quicker nostrils with the smell Or let a false tear down my cheek to fall And with dissembling kneeling therewithall Sigh my self into Air these fools disdain These quarter-wits O kick them back again Nor am I like a Justice of the Peace That woo's you just as he would buy a lease Nor like an Heir whose Tutor for his sake So many lyes of Joynter-houses make Nor like a Lawyer that would fain intail And when he 's try'd doth make a Jeofail Nay thousands more that always do dissemble For your sake make my loving heart to tremble Lest you should be deceiv'd Admired Lady fear not my Profession All my Drum-heads I 'll beat them to soft silence And every warlike Trumpet shall be dumb Our feared Colours now shall be torn off And all our Armour be condemn'd to rust Only my Sword I 'll wear the badge of man Por to defend you and your Honour-still Then Madam take me thus your loving Vassal When lying bragging Castrils will forsake you Oh take a man and joy in him for life A Sword-man knows the virtue of a Wife Here ends my Lord Marquisses writing The Lady Prudence's Answer Lady Prudence Gallant Sir should I accept of your Sute I should be either an Enemy to my self or you or my Country As for my self should I marry a Souldier I should be tormented with the cruellest passions for if I love my Husband as sure I shall I shall be perpetually frightned with his dangers grieved for his absence despair of his life Every little misfortune will be as his Passing-Bell I shall never be at rest asleep nor awake my Dreams will present him to my view with bleeding wounds mangled body and pale visage I shall be widow'd every minute of an hour in my own thoughts for as the Senses are to the Body so the thoughts are to the Mind and Imaginations in these or the like cases are as strong as a visible presence for passions live in the Soul not in the senses for a man is as much grieved when he hears his friend is dead or kill'd as if he saw him dead or slain for the dead friend lives in the mind not the mind in the dead friend But with these Dreams and Imaginations I shall grow blind with weeping weak with sighing sick with sorrowing and deaf with listning after reports And should you desist from that noble Profession for my sake I should prove as a Traitor to my Country by taking away part of the strength and support leaving the weakness to the force of the Enemy for a good Souldier is a strong Fort and Bulwark of Defence Indeed a skilful Commander is to be prefer'd before a numerous Army for a number of men without Order are like dust which the least puff of wind blows about so an Army not being well commanded is quickly dispers'd and suddenly routed upon the least errour besides should you desist you would bury your name in Oblivion when by your valiant Actions and prudent Conduct your memory will be placed in Fames high Tower and writ in large Characters of praise 'T is true should I marry I should prefer my Husbands honour before his life yet would I not willingly marry a man whose life shall be set at the stake and Fortune still throwing at it for that would make me live miserably And who would wilfully make themselves miserable when Nature forbids it and God commands it not Exit Lady The Lover goes sighing out Scene 3. Enter the Lady Parrot and the Lady Minion LAdy Parrot Shall we go and visit the Lady Gravity Minion No she lives so solitary a life as we shall meet no company there for none go to visit her Lady Parrot Then let us goe to the Lady Liberty there we shall meet company enough for all the Ladies in the Town go to visit her Minion If she hath no men-visiters I will not add to the number of her Lady visiters Parrot You may be sure she hath Masculine Visiters or else the Ladies would never go to see her for it is to meet the men the Ladies go to see her and not for her own sake Minion And the men go to see the Ladies Parrot I believe some do yet men are better company in the company of their own Sex than in the company of women Minion By your favour the contrary Sex agree best and are better pleased together than men with men or women with women But if the Lady Liberties House be the General Rendezvouz for Men and Women let us go Parrot Content Exeunt Scene 8. Enter Mistris Trifle and Mistris Vanity VAnity O my dear Heart Trifle O my dear Joy how glad am I to see thee But where have you been that you came later than you promis'd for if you had not sent me word you would come to me to day I had gone to you Vanity Why where do you think I have been Trifle I know not where to think Vanity I have been at a Silk-mans shop to buy me a new Gown but I would not choose it before I had shewn thee my patterns Trifle Let me see them She shews them Vanity What do you think of this stuff Trifle This is out of Fashion besides 't is not a Mode-colour Vanity What think you of this Tabby Trifle The colour is good but it is not of a good water Vanity What think you of this Sattin Trifle The Sattin is a good glossy Sattin but the colour is too pale Vanity But pale colours 't is said are Allamode in France Trifle Who says so Vanity A Gentleman told me so which is newly come out of France Trifle Then he perchance could have told you all the French Fashions Vanity So he did most particularly for he said he went into France for no other purpose but to see and observe Fashions Trifle I believe he only observed mens Fashions being a man and not womens Fashions Vanity Nay he swore he observ'd the womens Fashion more than the mens by reason he knew it would make him more acceptable to our Sex at his return not onely for Discourse-sake but for the kind rewards he should have for his Intelligence which rewards he hath found so full and plentiful as he hath made such a beneficial Journey as he will go once every year and stay a moneth or two and then return Trifle For Ioves sake send him to me Vanity I will but prethee choose my Gown Trifle Let the Gentleman that came out of France choose your Gown for he can put you into the French Fashion Exeunt Scene 9. Enter the Lady Prudence and the Amorous VVooer They take their places and the Assembly about them VVOoer Sweet Lady your Beauty hath wounded my heart imprisoned my senses and hath inslav'd my soul so as I
perfectly and knows your humour so exactly and can match your appetites with pleasure so justly as she hath work'd out her designs skilfully which is to displace me and to place her self in your Affections by which she can make a subtil advantage of your Estate and Fortune I mean good Fortune for in bad Fortune she may chance nay 't is most likely she will desert you for those that will and do forsake Virtue Chastity and Honour are not likely to stick to misfortunes as to follow Banishment or to live with Poverty to bear injury to endure Scorn and to die in Misery True Love may do it but for those Affections that are produced by Incontinency and not bound to Honesty and setled by Constancy will change more often than the wind wavering from person to person Courtly Wife I confess the Amorous Addresses I have made to other Women but though I have strayed in my Actions yet not in my Affections for my love is unalterably constant to you as believing you are unalterably virtuous and I do not only love your Chastity prize your Virtue honour your noble Soul and sweet Disposition but I take delight in your Wit am pleas'd with your Humors admire your Beauty and esteem and believe you to be the most perfect and best of your Sex But Wife know that my Appetites and not my Affections seek after variety for the kissing of a Mistris lessens not the Love to a Wife but rather increases it comparing the falseness and beastliness of the one to the Virtue and Purity of the other Iealousie And shall my Virtue and Chastity be only rewarded with your good Opinion Courtly Virtue Wife is a sufficient Reward in it self and the Chastity of your Sex is crown'd with Honour but the Reward I give you is the free use as a Co-partner of my Estate and the Mistris of my Family Besides I make you the chief care of my Industry the chief subject or object of my Valour the Treasure of my Life the only Possessor of my Heart and for your sake I shall neither refuse Death or Torment Thus you are the Soul of my Soul and since you have my whole soul to you self you may be well contented to lend my person to your Neighbours Wife Daughter Sister Neece or Maid Iealousie And will you be contented that I shall likewise borrow of your Neighbour Courtly No Wife for you can neither lend nor borrow without the loss of Honour Iealousie Nay rather than lose so great a loss as Honour I 'll strive to be content Husband Courtly Do you so Wife and I will strive and indeavour to be contented with my own Wife Exeunt ACT III Scene 21. Enter the Lady Prudence with two Suters a Citizen and a Farmer who both Plead or Wooe and she Answers The Assembly about them CItizen Madam although I cannot Wooe in Eloquent Orations or Courtly Solicitations or Learned Definitions being only bred to Industrious actions thrifty savings gainful gettings to inrich me with worldly wealth and not to studious Contemplations Poetical Fictions Divine Elevations Philosophical Observations State-Politicians School-contradictions Lawes Intrications by which perchance I might have gained Fame but not Wealth But Fame neither cloaths the naked nor feeds the hungry nor helps the distressed neither doth it maintain a Wife in Bravery where if you will be mine you shall sit in a shop all furnish'd with gold and great summs shall be brought you for exchange of my Wares and while you sit in my shop all street-passengers will stand and gaze on your Beauty and Customers will increase and be prodigal to buy whilst you sell not for the use of what they buy but for the delight to buy what you sell besides of all saleable curiosities varieties that are brought to the City you shall have the first offer and the first fruits and meats each Season doth produce shall be served to your taste your cloaths though of the City-fashion yet they shall rich and costly be besides to every Feast the City and each Citizen doth make they will invite you and place you as their chiefest guest and when you by your Neighbours doors do pass their Prentice-boys and Journey-men will leave their shop-boards and run to view you as you go Thus shall you live if you will be mine in Plenty Luxury Pride and Ease Prudence Rich Sir I may sit in your shop and draw Customers but shall get no honour by them I may sell your Wares but lose my Reputation I may be ador'd worship'd sought and pray'd to as for and to a Mistris but shall never be counted as a Saint I may be rich in wealth but poor of the Worlds good Opinion I may be adorn'd with silver and gold but blemish'd with censure and slander I may feed on luxurious Plenty yet my good name starve for want of a good Fame for a Citizens Wife is seldom thought chaste and the men for the most part accounted Cuckolds I know not whether it be a Judgment from Heaven for their Cozening or decreed by the Fates for their Covetousness or bred by a natural Effect of their Luxury which begets an Appetite to Wantonness but from what cause soever it comes so it is wherefore I will never be a Citizens Wife though truly I do verily believe there are as many virtuous and chaste women and understanding men that belong to the City as in the Country and were it not for the Citizens wealth more Antient Families would be buried in poverty than there hath been where many times a rich City-widow or daughter gives a dead Family a new Resurrection wherefore it is more prudent for men to marry into the City than it is advantagious for women especially such women that esteem a pure Reputation before wealth and had rather live in poverty than be mistrusted for dishonesty Then the Citizen goeth from the Standing-place and the Farmer takes it The Lady Prudence keeps her place all the while Farmer Madam although I cannot draw a Line of Pedigree from Gentility yet I can draw a Line of Peasantry five hundred years in length and if Antiquity is to be esteemed my Birth is not to be despised As for my wealth I am not poor but rich for my degree and quality and though it is not fit I should maintain my Wife in silver and gold yet I may maintain her with plenty and with store cloath her in fine smooth soft cloth spun from the fleeces of my Flocks But if you will be mine you shall be crown'd with Garlands made of Lillies Roses Violets Pinks and Daffidillies and be as Queen of all these Downs where all the Shepherds and Shepherdesses shall give you homage and worship you as Godess of the Plains bringing you Offerings of their mornings Milk their Butter Curds and soft prest Cheese and various Fruits fresh gather'd off their Trees also my Kids and Lambs shall sport and play and taught to know your voice
Skill to use it will fight and maintain my quarrel Trusty If I should go home with that Message you would find her dead at your return Lovewell VVhy so Trusty VVhy Sir the very name of a Sword will kill her I wonder your VVorship should forget it and knows her humour so well Lovewell Yes I know she hath a sweet Humour and a tender Nature wherefore return home without any more prating and tell her that I am safe and in very good health Run all the way Scene 41. Enter Sir Edward Courtly and his Wife the Lady Jealousie COurtly VVife you may win me from the imbracing of other women if you have Discretion and Chastity answerable to your Wit and Beauty Iealousie But I perceive men love variety and if so had I the Beauty of Venus and the Wit of Mercury the Wisedom of Pallas and the Chastity of Diana you would be like Iupiter still and make love to mortals which are common Wenches But do not think I will do as Iuno did as to torment my self with vexing and fretting for that which I cannot mend or help but I will please my self with variety as much as you and in the clouds of night will hide my Self and Lovers Courtly 'Faith Wife I shall dissolve your Clouds into showers of Tears and strike your Lover with my Thunder-bolt which is my Poniard But Wife let me advise you to be as you ought to be a good Wife for as I will not incroach upon my Wifes Prerogative so Wife you shall not incroach upon mine being your Husband Iealousie You will not give me leave to have the variety of Courting Servants yet you will take the liberty of variety to Court several Mistresses Courtly It is part of my Prerogative Iealousie What to have whores Courtly Yes and its part of the Wifes duty which she owes to her Husband to be content Iealousie She is not bound to that duty Courtly She is bound to obey all duties for the fundamental Laws in Mariage are for the Husband to rule the Wife to obey the Husband to cherish the VVife to love the Husband to be Valiant to defend and protect her the VVife to be Chaste to suffer and submit and when I leave to Command you may leave for to Obey when I leave to Cherish you may leave to Love when I am a Coward you may be a VVhore for when I basely part with my Honour you are not bound to keep it but until I do part with my Honour I charge you to keep it as you would do your life Iealousie By these Rules maried men are not bound to be constant Courtly Yes to the Sex but not to his VVife in the case of Amorous Imbracements for a Husband hath liberty for variety but the VVife is refrain'd to one Iealousie These are Laws that neither the Gods nor Nature have prescribed but only impartial men which make what Laws they please Courtly Nature taught men to make them for propriety-sake and Gods command men to keep them and that men should do their endeavour to force the Effeminate Sex to obey and practice them strictly for the sake of Civil Common-wealths wherein the Gods are best serv'd Iealousie But women are not such Fools to be forc'd such Asses to bear such intollerable burdens of Troubles Vexations Crosses and Neglects from their Husbands and their VVhores Courtly VVomen are best pleas'd when they are made Asses Iealousie Indeed Husbands make Asses of their VVives but in faith you shall not make one of me Exeunt Scene 42. Enter two Maids of the Lady Poverties 1 MAid My poor Lady sits so melancholy and sighs and weeps as it grieves my Soul to see her 2 Maid Can you blame her when she and her children must go a begging or sit and starve for my Master hath sold most of his Estate at several times and hath spent the money in Drink and VVhores and hath lost it at play and now he hath sent for all his Plate to play away her Jewels were pawn'd before 1 Maid But when all is lost and spent he will be forc'd to be a good Husband 2 Maid VVhen all is gone it will not be in his power for none can be good Husbands as concerning Husbandry when they have nothing to Husband 1 Maid The best of it is he will suffer as much as my Lady 2 Maid No faith for he will rook and shark and cheat and baud to get a poor living when she poor Lady must work hard for her Living 1 Maid Alas she cannot work 2 Maid Then she must get some acquaintance and turn Lady Bawd and shew Ladies how to dress themselves and sell paint pomatoms wax-gloves oyl'd-masks and the like Commodities privately or else she must pretend Skill in Chirurgery or Physick and to make Plaisters Salves Oyntments and the like or make Cordial Powders or Cordial Waters and other waters and powders then perswade old Ladies to take thereof telling them those will make them look as young as one of fifteen 1 Maid But those things require cost to make them 2 Maid No 'faith there requires not much charge for Paint Pomatom and the like Commodities will sell at any price and will be made at a little charge and for Salves and Plaisters and Oyls and Oyntments Hogs-grease Turpentine and Bole-Armonike serves for all sorts of those things and Bread and Meal and Milk and some chopt Herbs and Sallet-oyl serves for all Pultesses and for Cordial Powders some hot Seeds as Anniseed Caroway-seed Coriander-seed and the like Seeds with some powder of Liquoras and beaten Spices with some sorts of Gums as Mastick Myrrh and the like will serve their turn 1 Maid But Cordial Powders are made of Pearl Amber Corall and the like 2 Maid 'Faith a little powder of posts serves as well for they cannot be distinguish'd by their taste but howsoever it is but putting a grain of Musk and Ambergrease and instead of Amber Coral and Pearl 't is but poudring some shav'd Harts-horn and Chiny and they will serve as well and perchance work as good Effects Indeed Cordial Waters are chargeable to make for they require fire to distill them but there is some remedy for that for it is but buying several sorts of ordinary hot waters and mix them together so as no one of the waters may predominate in taste and it will pass for rare extracted Spirits so as she shall never need to venture to distill or lay out money but just for the present to fetch it from those that sell Aqua-vitae Rosasolus and the like which may be had at a cheap rate and she may sell them at a great price 1 Maid But what shall become of the poor young Children 2 Maid VVhy he rooking and she bawding may make a shift to feed them with bread and those two Trades will never fail as long as Mankind lasts for VVhoring and Knaving will last till Dooms-day or for ever 1 Maid But Ursly my Lady hath
him which is dead I shall desire your continued Acquaintance Compagnion softly to Comerade Monsieur Compagnion She wooes me with her Husbands dead skull I shall render my Service to your Ladyship She bowes him thanks with simpring and smiling Countenance and a bridled head Monsieur la Gravity softly to himself Monsieur la Gravity Those young youths I perceive will be my ruin if not prevented Madam will your Ladyship honour me so much as to give me the private hearing of a few words Lady Passionate Yes Sir She removes with him a little space Monsieur la Gravity Madam although I am not such a one as I could wish my self for your sake yet I am a Gentleman and what I want in person or estate my affection respect and tender regard to your person worth and merit shall make good besides Madam my years suiting to your Ladyships will make the better agreement in marriage Lady Passionate Sir you must excuse me for though you merit a better wife than I yet I cannot answer your affections wherefore I desire you will desist in your Sute for I am resolved if I do marry to please my fancy Monsieur la Gravity If your Ladyship cannot love me Heaven forbid I should marry you wherefore I wish your Ladyship such a Husband as you can fancy best and love most They return to the two other Gentlemen they all take their leaves Madam your most humble Servant They go through the Stage and come upon it again as it were at the Street Door Monsieur la Gravity Where is our Coach Enter a Footman Call the Coach to the Door Enter Doll Pacify as from her Lady to Monsieur Compagnion Doll Pacify Sir pray give me leave to speak a word or two with you Monsieur Compagnion As many as you please Doll Pacify Sir my Lady desires your Company to morrow to Dinner but she desires you will come alone Monsieur Compagnion Pray give your Lady thanks for her favours and tell her if I can possibly I will wait on her Ladyship Doll Pacify goes out Monsieur Comerade Now what encouragement have you from the old Lady Monsieur Compagnion Faith so much as I am ashamed of it for she invites me to come alone Monsieur Comerade On my life if thou wilt not woo her she will woo thee Monsieur Compagnion Like enough for there is nothing so impudent as an old woman they will put a young man be he never so deboist out of Countenance Monsieur Comerade But faith consider of it for she is rich Monsieur Compagnion So is the Devill as Poets say Pluto the God of riches Monsieur Comerade I grant it and is not he best served for every one bows with respect nay worships and adores riches and they have reason so to do since all are miserable that have it not for Poverty is a torment beyōd all sufferance which causes many to hang themselves either in the Chain of Infamy or in a Hempen rope or to do act against the strict Laws of a Common-wealth which is to commit self-murther besides Poverty is the Slave and druge the scorn and reproach of the World it makes all younger Brothers Sherks and meer Cheats whereas this old Ladies riches will not only give you an honest mind and create noble thoughts but will give you an honourable reputation in the VVorld for every one will think you Wise although you were a Fool Valiant although you were a Coward and you shall have the first offers of all Offices and all Officers will be at you devotion they will attend you as Slaves the Lawyers will plead on your side and Judges will give sentence according as you desire Courtiers will flatter you and Divines will pray for you in their Pulpits and if your old Lady dy and leave you her wealth you shall have all the young beautifull Virgins in the Kingdome gather to that City Town or Village where you live omitting no Art that may prefer them to your affection Monsieur Compagnion You say well and I could approve of your Counsel if she would dy soon after I had married her Monsieur Comerade VVhy put the case she should live a great while as the truth is old women are tough and indure long yet you will have her Estate to please your self withall which Estate will buy you fine Horses great Coaches maintain Servants and great Retinues to follow you Monsieur Compagnion But she is so divellish old Monsieur Comerade VVhy let her keep her Age to her self whilst you keep a young Mistress to your self and it is better to have an old Wife that will look after your Family and be carefull and watchfull therein and a young Mistriss than a young Wife which will be a Tyrannical Mistriss which will look after nothing but Vanities and love Servants whilst you poor wretch look like a contented Cuckold and so out of Countenance as you dare not shew your face whilst she spends your Estate running about with every vain idle fellow to Playes Masks Balls Exchanges Taverns or meets at a private Friends private Lodging also making great Feasts and Entertainments where after Dinner and Supper there must be gaming at Cards and Dice where for her honour or at least seeming so to lose five hundred or a thousand pounds away and when they rise with or from their losses singing with a feigned voice as if it were a trifle not to be considered or considerable thus if you marry an old and rich Lady you may live and spend her Estate but if you marry for youth and beauty your wife will live and spend your Estate besides the Husband of an old Lady lives like the great Turk having a Seraglio but marrying a young wife you live like a Prisoner never durst show your head Monsieur la Gravity He gives you good Counsel and let me advise you to go to this Lady as she hath invited you for I perceive she hath a young Tooth in her old head by refusing me and there is none so fit to pull it out as you are wherefore go Monsieur Compagnion Well Gentlemen I will try if my Reason and your Counsel can prevail in my choice Exeunt ACT IV. Scene 13. Enter Madam Jantil in her habit with a white Taper lighted in her hand the Tomb bring thrust upon the Stage she goeth to the Tomb then kneels down and seems as praying after that she rises holding out the Torch with the other hand speaks as follow These Verses being writ by my Lord the Marquess of Newcastle MAdam Iantil. Welcome sad thoughts that 's heapt up without measure They 're joys to me and wealthy Sons of treasure Were all my breath turn'd into sighs 't would ease me And showrs of tears to bath my griefs would please me Then every groan so kind to take my part To vent some sorrows still thus from my heart But there 's no Vacuum O my heart is full As it vents sorrows new griefs in doth pull Is there
Inquirer Indeed the strange ridiculousness and folly and mad presumption is that the Apocriphal Ladies take more State or at least as much as sacred Royaltie Lady True Honour But if Royaltie will suffer such Heresies and Hereticks in the Court of Honour they are not to be lamented if their Courts fall to utter ruine for it is with Titles and Dignities as with Laws if there were no Laws there would be no Government and if there were no Degrees and dignities there would be no Royalty so likewise if the Laws be corrupt and abused Government will fall to ruin and if Honour be abused and usurpt Royaltie will fall from its Throne but howsoever I keep up the Right of my place because it is the cause and interest of all the Nobility of my Country so that if I should give place I should be a Traytor to true Honour and dignified Persons Scene 21. Enter two Women of the Comical Dutchess's 1. Woman VVEll now the Duke of Inconstancy hath forsaken our Lady his Comical Dutchess all our State must down 2. Woman Yes and we must lose our places in going before others as being Dutchess's women 1. Woman The Dutchess cryed all night 2. She had no more reason to cry than she had for the matter of Dignity for pray consider her Highness may keep the same State as being Dutchess still as well as she did before for she possess'd the Honour no more than she doth now and so now no less than she did then 1. Woman That is true but the Duke did help to countenance her State so long as he did live with her as a Husband whereas now she will be hist off the Stage 2. Woman Faith Confidence and a Resolution will bear her up wherefore let us perswade her not to be daunted or put out of countenance and she having the same Estate she had may maintain her self as high as she hath done 1. Woman You say true and the flanting shew will dazle the eyes and delude the understanding of the Spectators 1. Woman Yes of the Vulgar Exeunt Scene 22. Enter two Gentlemen 1. Gent. HOnour goes a begging 2. Gent. Why 1. Gent. Why there is an Ale Wife made a Countesse 2. Gent. As how 1. Gent. Why the Earl Undone hath married Mistriss Tip-tape 2. Gent. But he hath a Wife living 1. Gent. That is all one for did not the Duke of Inconstancy marry a Lady and made her a Dutchess although he had a Dutchess to his Wife before by whom he was a Duke 2. Gent. I perceive Great Noble Persons may do what they will for if a poor mean man should have two Wives at one time they would be surely punished nay in some Kingdoms they would be hanged Exeunt Scene 23. Enter two Scriveners Wives 1. Wife DO you hear that the Duke of Inconstancy hath forsaken his Comical Dutchess 2. Wife Yes but that is nothing 1. Wife Have you been with her Highness since 2. Wife Yes 1. Wife And how looks she upon her misfortunes 2. VVife Why she appears the same and keeps greater State than ever she did yea even her Children are served more royally than ever 1. VVife Faith she is to be commended if it will hold out 2. VVife As long as she hath money it will hold 1. VVife O money doth all things Exeunt FINIS THE EPILOGUE Noble Spectators IN Britain Land long long ago I say There were such persons as are in my Play In Chronicle you 'l find a story plain A Britain Queen that happily did Raign At last did marry one below her State Which merited not a Crown or Kingly Fate For he when Power got did put away His Royal Wife and married as they say Another Lady She and he did live Like lawfull King and Queen till God did give The wronged Queen her Kingdom back again For in a Battel she her husband slain And of the rest in Stories you shall read Such persons as my Play presents indeed THE ACTORS NAMES Two Grave Matrons belonging to the Female Academy Two or three Antient Ladies Two or three Citizens Wives A Company of young Gentlemen and others THE FEMALE ACADEMY ACT I. Scene 1. Enter two Antient Ladies 1 Lady IF you would have your Daughter virtuously and wisely educated you must put her into the Female Academy 2 Lady The Female Academy what is that 1 Lady Why a House wherein a company of young Ladies are instructed by old Matrons as to speak wittily and rationally and to behave themselves handsomly and to live virtuously 2 Lady Do any men come amongst them 1 Lady O no only there is a large open Grate where on the out-side men stand which come to hear and see them but no men enter into the Academy nor women but those that are put in for Education for they have another large open Grate at the other end of the Room they discourse in where on the out-side of that Grate stand women that come to hear them discourse 2 Lady I will put my Daughter therein to be instructed 1 Lady If your Daughter were not of honourable Birth they would not receive her for they take in none but those of antient Descent as also rich for it is a place of charges 2 Lady VVhy then they will not refuse my Daughter for she is both honourably born and also rich Exeunt Scene 2. Enter a Company of young Ladies and with them two Grave Matrons where through the Hanging a company of men look on them as through a Grate 1 MAtron Come Lady 't is your turn this day to take the Chair All sit and she that speaks sits in an adorned Chair Lady Speaker Deliver your Theam 1 Matrod You speak Lady like a Robber when he sayes deliver your Purse but you must say propound your Theam Lady Speaker VVhy then propound your Theam 1 Matron I present to your opinion whether women are capable to have as much VVit or VVisdome as men Lady Speaker First I must define what VVit and VVisdome are as for VVit it is the Daughter of Nature and VVisdome is a Son of the Gods this Daughter of Nature the Lady Wit is very beautifull and for the most part her Countenance is very Amiable and her Speech delightfull in her Acoustrements she is as all other of the Female Sex are various as sometimes in plain Garments and sometimes in glittering Garments and sometimes she is attired in Garments of as many several Colours as the Rainbow and she alters in their Fashions as often as in their Substances or Trimmings as for her humour it is according to the nature of her Sex which is as various and changing as her Acoustrements for that sometimes she is merry and jesting other times pleasing and delightfull sometimes melancholy sometimes fantastical other times spightfull and censorious and oft times wild and wanton unlesse discretion rules and leads her who keeps her within the bounds and pales of Modesty also her discourses are various as sometimes