the blessed of the Father Labour by these and all other means that God the Father have the greatest place in your childrens hearts Teach them to know and prize Jesus Christ without this they cannot be true Christians shew them all the fulness and glory of the Godhead in Jesus Christ Labour to make them see his glory as the only begotten Son of God and all that he as Mediator and Redeemer hath done in the state of his humiliation and is doing and will do in the state of his exaltation for the salvation of lost sinners Labour to imprint these great Truths upon their hearts 1. That it was the Will and Law of God the Father that God the Son in our nature should be a sacrifice for our sins this fully appears Heb. 10.5 c. A body hast thou prepared or fitted me meaning to be a sacrifice and saith he Lo I come to do thy will O God and Psal 40. Thy law is in my heart meaning that will and law of the Father which bound him to offer and sacrifice himself for our sins 2. That Jesus Christ by his obedience to the death of the cross did perfectly obey and fulfil this law and will of God the Father 3. That all salvation and happiness is by the Covenant of Grace setled upon all and only those who believe and obey the Gospel only for the sake of this sacrifice and obedience of Jesus Christ and therefore saith the Apostle Heb. 10.10 By the which will we are sanctified through the offering of the body of Christ once for all that is by Christs fulfilling the will of his Father in once sacrificing himself for sinners we and all true believers are sanctified that is perfectly saved Ye must also acquaint them with the office and work of the Holy Ghost which our Saviour tells us John 16.13 is to guide or lead them into all truth that is to inable them to believe and love and obey the saving-truths of God reveal'd in the Gospel for to the end that they may know and keep their baptismal-covenant they must know how all the Three sacred persons the Father Son and Holy Ghost are interested in the great work of Salvation 3dly Labour to convince your children of the Excellency of the Life of Religion and obedience to God commend this to them as the most honourable life for our Saviour tells us John 12.26 If any man serve me him will my father honour What shall be done to the man saith Ahasuerus whom the king will honour But who is able to tell what shall be done to the man whom the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ will honour Let them also know that this is the wisest life it's Jobs inquiry Where shall wisdom be found and saith he Job 28.28 Behold the fear of the Lord that is wisdom and to depart from evil is understanding And further that it is the safest life for God is a shield and rock and wall to all that obey him and although such things which they have in common with other men are expos'd to danger and loss yet their persons and their whole portion is always safe and also that this is the most gainful life for hereby Saints gain God and Christ and Heaven and lose nothing for we cannot lose by a Saviour who saves us from all evil and brings us into the possession of all good and though death it self strips us naked of all things under the Sun yet death is unspeakable gain to all who live this life and ye must further assure them that this is the most pleasant life for it is a life of faith and love and praise and joy and a life of victory over sin and they who live this life have all things to please them they have God to please them Christ and his Merits to please them and a prospect of a holy and a blessed Eternity to please them ye would never be the fathers and mothers of fools if ye could perswade your children to be so wise as to prize and love a life of obedience to God 4. Commend to your children the glory and amiableness of the House and Church of God this is the body whereinto they are baptized take your child with you and go walk about Sion and go round about her and tell the towers thereof and mark well her bulwarks and consider her palaces as ye are taught Psal 45.9 Present to their view King Jesus and at his right hand standing the Queen his Church in gold of Ophir Psal 45.9 say to them as the Angel said to John Rev. 21.9 Come hither and I will shew you the bride the Lambs wife shew them that glorious sight Rev. 12.1 The woman cloathed with the Sun and upon her head that bright and glorious constellation a crown of twelve Stars that so the company of those who live in communion with God and Jesus Christ may be desirable and delightful to them and that they may forsake evil company which is often the bane of youth 5. Teach them to esteem aright of Gods Ordinances for by baptism they are solemnly admitted into that house and family which is blessed with these as the means of salvation Labour to beget in them good thoughts of Gods Ministers for ye shall ever find that those children will despise you who make light of them teach them to pray ye can never have comfort in your children till they cry to God Abba Father teach them to know and prize and long for the Lords-Supper and therein to take Christ and all Salvation in a little bread and wine teach them to honour and delight in the Lords-day as the Diamond in the ring of time those children are always the honour and joy of their godly parents who make conscience to keep holy the Lords-day 6. Make them sensible that time is short and precious that an eternity of glory and misery is at hand and that death and judgment and heaven or hell are at the door of young children I shall further add five Directions to godly parents to prevent this sad calamity 1. Labour to save your children from those sins which provoke God and will destroy them as well as from those sins which will also bring loss and reproach upon you some are sadly affected to see their children given to drunkenness or whoredom or the like sins but are not so much concern'd for their unbelief and impenitency and want of love to God and for their covetousness which shews such parents to have too much of the love of the world and too little love to God and their childrens souls but we must take our measures of the evil and danger of sin from the word of God which tells us 1 Cor. 6.9 10. that the covetous as well as drunkards and whoremongers shall not inherit the kingdom of God and this will teach parents not only to mourn over a debauch'd child but also over a covetous though he be a wealthy child 2.
bow themselves and their children who should be a staff and support to them do break their hearts and cause their grey-hairs to go with sorrow to the grave I now come to make application of this discourse Vse 1. Let such parents praise and honour God whom God hath bless'd with wise and holy and obedient children whether by those words in Psal 144.12 David means children accomplish'd with natural or spiritual endowments or both I shall not determine but to apply them to the case in hand I say it 's the great mercy of God to you that when so many children are as noisome weeds your sons should be as hopeful plants grown up in their youth and when so many make themselves ugly and deform'd with sin your daughters should be as corner-stones in which is seen the beauty of the building and the art and skill of the workman polished after the similitude of a palace Do not hence conclude that you are better parents than others or have had more care in the education of your children than others but ascribe all to the free grace of God who will have mercy upon whom he will have mercy 2. Let none presume to censure godly parents for their wicked children To him that is afflicted saith Job pity should be shew'd him from his friend Have they not trouble enough already but will you add to their affliction They have not hereby forfeited the good thoughts and esteem which you should have of them and if you judge them for this ye must judge as wise and holy Saints of God as ever were in the world though God herein doth sharply correct them yet he will not allow you to sit in judgment and to pass sentence upon them I say to you as Job to his friends Hold your peace let them alone and leave them to stand or fall to their own Master 3. This should fill the hearts of these holy parents with revenge upon Sin and Satan which have so debauch'd and defiled and destroy'd their dear children If a man should murder your child a spirit of revenge would rise in you and you would say to such a one I will have thy life and blood for the life and blood of my child but Sin and Satan have destroy'd both the precious soul and body of the child therefore labour as for other reasons so for this also to be reveng'd of them Labour to do as David did by the Lyon and the Bear which took a Lamb out of his flock he slew both the Lyon and the Bear and delivered the Lamb so do all ye can to reseue your poor lambs out of the jaws of Satan however labour to hate Sin and Satan more to promote Gods honour and kingdom and the salvation of souls more and this is the way to be reveng'd on Sin and Satan for the ruine of your children 4. I do hence exhort all holy and obedient children to acknowledge the grace of God to them that they are or have been the joy and crown of their parents It is his distinguishing grace that made you to differ from all wicked children and perhaps from some that came out of the same womb and sucked the same mothers breasts as you did Consider four things which are great matter of praise 1. That ye are the children of holy parents that ye may comfortably come to God in prayer and say we are the children of thy servant our father we are thy servants and the children of thy handmaid our mother bless God for your parents good counsels and examples and for a great part of an age of prayers which ye are daily receiving the benefit of if your parents are dead and in heaven it may put you into a holy and spiritual frame to think of the graces of God that did shine in them 2. That the same graces which dwelt in your good parents are in you Paul speaks of it as matter of praise to God that the same faith was in Timothy which dwelt first in his Grandmother Lois and his Mother Eunice and the Apostle John rejoyced greatly that he found the children of the elect Lady walking in truth 3. That thou art freed from those stings of conscience which graceless children shall one day feel for their disobedience to their parents thou mayest joyfully reflect that thou wast the joy of thy holy parents and that their lives have been made sweeter and their crosses easier by thee that thou art the honour and seal of their holy education when wicked children are the shame and reproach of their parents 4. That thou hast a right to that rich and precious promise annext to the fifth Commandment and mention'd Ephes 6.2 3. So that thou may'st be assur'd that it shall go well with thee both in this world and in the world to come I do seriously profess I had rather have a right to that one promise made to obedient children than to the best estate and inheritance under the Sun I shall finish this discourse 1. In prescribing some means to be us'd by those that may be or are parents to prevent this calamity 2. I shall direct those parents that groan under this calamity how to bear it 3. I shall give a serious exhortation to such children who are the grief and bitterness of their parents First I shall prescribe means to be us'd to prevent this calamity 1. Use all holy prudence and care in your choice of a yoke-fellow for if ye make your selves the husbands or wives of fools ye are like in time to become the fathers or mothers of fools when before the flood the members of Gods Church married with a wicked generation Genes 6.2 they brought forth a wicked posterity but to have a holy yoke-fellow is the way to have a holy seed and therefore what ye would most desire to have for your selves that labour to find in the person who is to be one flesh with you thou wouldst have thy self born of God thou wouldst have the Image of God and the life of Christ in thy self Labour that these things be in the person whom thou chusest for thy yoke-fellow but never make choice of one for thy husband or wife whom thou shouldst not chuse for thy companion 2. Be faithful and upright with God Prov. 20.7 The just man walketh in his integrity and his children are blessed after him If you would have grace and mercy for your children love and please the God of all grace and mercy whatever secret sins are in thee kill those sins for thy poor childrens sake lest the sins you too much harbour in your own hearts do break out in your childrens lives Parents may often see their own sins against their heavenly father in their childrens disobedience to them when your children despise you remember your want of honour and fear and reverence of God when they vex and trouble you remember how ye have griev'd and provoked him when they decline your company remember how
your hearts have wandered from God in his Ordinances 3. Bewail and beg pardon of God for your failings heretofore to your parents for many do often reap from their own children what they formerly sow'd by their sins against their parents and their miscarriages to their parents do fall upon them in the wickedness of their children the best may sadly reflect upon their want of due honour and obedience and thankfulness to their parents ye may remember your peevish looks undecent behaviour to them your grieving them in quarrelling with your brethren and sisters your unjust censuring them for partiality in their love to their children and judging them to want love to you when you were wanting in your duty to them and many who are now godly parents themselves may remember that by greater sins in their youth they were the grief and bitterness of their fathers and mothers and therefore pray mightily to God to pardon you and not to visit these sins upon you in the disobedience of your children 4. Pray to God not to visit your sins upon your children When Manasseh was in Heaven Amon his son followed the steps of his unconverted estate and Jehoiakim was carried captive into Babylon for the sins of Manasseh Pray that your children may not be like you in any thing wherein ye are unlike God and that their teeth may not be set on edg for the sowre grapes that ye have eaten 5. Be deeply affected with the corruption of nature in your children For as no man will value a Saviour for himself who is not convinc'd of the sin and misery which he must be saved from so ye must be sensible of your childrens sins or else ye cannot labour for their salvation When your sweet babes are born ye rejoyce to find that in Gods book all their members were written but ye should also be sensible of that body of sin they are born with and that by nature they are young Atheists and Infidels and haters of God and basphemers and whoremongers and lyars and thieves and murderers for they are naturally inclin'd to these and all other fins and are by nature children of the wrath of the infinite God and being convinc'd of this ye will find that your chief care of them should be to save them from this dreadful state of sin and misery 6. Be convinc'd what a great deal of work lies upon you to endeavour the salvation of your children young children always make a great deal of work they make work for parents and work for servants and work for all that are about them but to save them from sin and hell is the greatest work that belongs to their parents for this purpose they have a great deal a work to do in their own hearts they must know and believe and love and obey the doctrine of salvation themselves that they may be able and sit to instruct their children therein for a man cannot train up his child in the way he should go if he do not know the way himself We read Deut. 6.6 7. These words shall be in thy heart and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children it 's fitly render'd in the margin thou shalt whet or sharpen them the word of God is more keen and sharp when it hath first done its work on the parents hearts and so comes from their hearts to their children Parents must keep their own graces in exercise to put authority and savour in all that they say and do for the salvation of their children Grace must work in their prayers grace must rule their tongues grace must guide the rod and grace must shine in their lives and then it 's a great work which is to be wrought in the children it is a great work for them who are born of the flesh to be born of the spirit a great work to make Religion and Godliness natural to them to make the children of the devil to become the children of God Almighty and parents must constantly labour in the use of means to accomplish this work 7. Be mighty in prayer for your children for all the good ye desire for them must come from God and therefore must be beg'd by prayer it is in vain for them to be taught of us except they be taught of God Whose words Lord saith holy Augustine were they but thine which by my faithful mother thou hast sung in my heart Pray and pray in faith and hope thy ears saith Augustine again were at my mothers heart when she pray'd for me ye must pray with tender and melting hearts the same Father tells us that his mothers tears watered the earth when she pray'd for him and ye must pray for their salvation this also Augustine calls the hinge of his holy mothers prayers for him 8. Solemnly dedicate them to God by baptism and then ye must heartily consent that God alone be the eternal life and happiness of you and your children and that Jesus Christ be their and your Redeemer to redeem you and them from all sin and misery and to bring both to God and that the Holy Ghost be their and your Sanctifier that by him you and they may have a Scripture-right unto and be made meet and fit for this happiness 9. When they are capable of it instruct them in the Covenant which by baptism they were solemnly entered into For this end ye must diligently teach them these six things 1. To know the evil and danger of sin for till they come to know what sin is and what it is to be saved or damn'd and what it is to lose or enjoy God they will not value or accept of Christ but will despise the Redeemer of the World as good for nothing ye must therefore labour to make sin odious and Christ precious to your children and then they will value Christ and obey you It was prophesied of John the Baptist that he was to prepare the way of the Lord and to turn the children to the parents so let it be your care to make way for Christ in your childrens hearts and if ye prevail in that they will be obedient to you 2. Inform your selves and them in the doctrine of God the Father Son and Holy Ghost for this is the doctrine whereinto they are baptized and by baptism they are solemnly entered into Covenant with these sacred persons against the flesh Satan and the world shew them the glory and love of God the Father in chusing ordaining fitting and sending Jesus Christ and in commanding him to be a sacrifice for us inform them that God the Father is the fountain of life for Christ lives by the Father the fountain of Authority for Christ received all power in heaven and earth from him the fountain of all the Christian Religion for Christ first heard these truths from the Father and then made them known to us and the fountain of glory for the Father hath exalted Christ and all glorified Saints are
for your other wicked children 4. Consider thou hast greater things to affect thee with grief and sorrow than thy wicked children there are whole Empires and Kingdoms of men and women and children who have as precious souls as thine or thy childrens these dishonour the same God and perish under his wrath and multitudes that have the Scriptures and Ordinances despise the same Christ and the same Gospel as thy children do and why shouldst thou be more concern'd for one or more of thy wicked children than for the whole world that lies in wickedness 5. Let your sorrow be guided by Scripture and Reason that ye may not provoke God and defile your souls and wound your consciences by sinful groans and tears For this end observe two Rules First Mourn more for their sins whereby they provoke and dishonour God and defile and destroy themselves and others than for any shame or loss in worldly things that befall you hereby that it may appear that the love of God and your childrens souls and not the love of the World hath the greatest influence on your sorrow for I fear that there is usually in good parents too much of carnal sorrow and too little of godly sorrow in their mourning under this great calamity Secondly Let not thy sorrow disease thy body and impair thy health God doth not require us to mourn more for our childrens sins than our own and he never makes it our duty by sorrow for either to destroy our bodies which are the Temples of the Holy Ghost and the truth is that godly sorrow is the health of the soul and never hurts the body for Grace is always a friend and never an enemy to nature and therefore do not deprive thy self of all opportunities to honour God and serve his Church do not make thy yoke-fellow desolate nor thy children Orphans by such sorrow that will neither please God nor ease thy self nor do any good to thy wicked and miserable children 6. Labour to get your Graces strengthened under this great affliction for ye have need of more knowledge and wisdom and faith and hope and love and meekness and patience to inable and fit you to bear this than most other affections and ye must see and enjoy more of God and Christ to keep up your hearts under this than under most other troubles yet by the strength of Christ ye may be inabled not only to bear but to glory in this tribulation and the greater the trouble is the more good ye may gain by it 7. Comfort thy self in that the greatest and best things which thou hast most pray'd for and trusted unto and expected and chiefly loved and desired are all safe and sure 1. Thy God is and will be blessed and glorious for ever whatever becomes of thy child all his infinite perfections are working for his glory Christ himself is Gods and doth the whole work of a Mediator as his servant and for his glory all the blessed Angels and Saints will for ever honour and admire and love and praise him 2. God the Father Son and Holy Ghost are for ever thy own and will to all eternity be glorified in making thee blessed and glorious thou hast a bad child but a good God all thy work will be done thy sins pardoned and kill'd thy graces perfected and body and soul glorified and shall an ungodly child make all thy consolations herein small to thee Lastly Consider this trouble will last but a little while I confess I do not know or can upon search find any thing that can lift up the heart above this trouble but the knowledge and sense of the infinite love of God in Christ to a mans self and of that holy and glorious eternity which this love will shortly bring him unto to tell you that this is and hath been the case of other godly parents may allay something of your grief But what is this but to tell you that others are and have been as miserable as you or to tell you that as wicked children as yours have been sanctified and saved yields some hopes but it can amount to no more than to think they may be sav'd or thy may be damn'd and there is as much reason to fear the one as to hope for the other But for a man to see a gainful death ready to loose him into that world where there is none of this sorrow and to know that at the day of judgment his wicked children will be no more to him than bloody Bonners or Gardiners or damn'd Devils and that he himself shall sit with Christ to judge them and that he shall love and delight in the holiness and justice of the Judg of all the World in passing that sentence upon them Depart ye cursed into everlasting sire prepared for the devil and his angels This is sufficient to overcome all immoderate grief for his ungodly children Lastly I shall finish this discourse in a serious exhortation to these ungodly children who are the grief and bitterness of their good parents And herein I shall 1. Endeavour to convince them of their sins 2. Of their misery 3. Perswade them to forsake their sins that so they may be freed from that misery First I shall set before you the greatness of your sins in these four particulars 1. Ye have broken your Covenant with God 2. Ye have broken the Bonds wherein ye were bound to the Church of God 3. Ye have broken the Bonds of your duty to your parents 4. Ye have broken the Bonds of your duty to your other relations First Ye have broken your Covenant with God whereinto ye were solemnly enter'd by baptism for it 's clear by that Scripture before mention'd Levit. 19.3 That by casting off the authority of your parents ye have disowned the Lord to be your God Your breach of Covenant with God appears more fully in these four particulars 1. Ye do in your hearts and practices deny the Being of God the first Article of the Covenant is that ye should acknowledge and believe that the Lord he is God for he that cometh to God must believe that he is Hebr. 11.6 But this is the language of your hearts and lives That there is no God Ye deny God to be the first and best Being in preferring the creatures before him and saying in effect That the creatures are all and the great Jehovah is but as a cypher to you Ye deny his Omnipresence he fills all places where ye are but ye take no notice of him the presence of a Father or Master hath some influence upon you but it works not at all upon you that there is a God in the room Ye deny his infinite Wisdom that Wisdom of God in contriving the work of Salvation by Jesus Christ I say that Wisdom which is so glorious and wonderful to the principalities and powers of heaven is to such proud and ignorant boys and girls as you but a foolish and ridiculous thing
Do nothing but what ye are willing should be known if ye would not have your Parents and Masters and the Magistrates and your Friends and Foes know your lies and lusts and theft and prophaning the Lords-day and your haunting evil company do not practise these things ye need not fear who knows how holy and just and sober and chast ye are Religion can boldly shew its shining face to God and man but sin makes you sneak and cowardly and base and fearful and imprints marks of dishonour and shame upon your looks and countenances and fills you with horrour and consternation when ye are discovered Consider seriously that all from whom your greatest shame and misery will come do know you the devils know you and will accuse and disgrace and torment you for the same sins they tempted you unto and they will not help you to hide your sins when time of grace and repentance and pardon is past your own hearts and consciences know you and will awake out of their present sleep to condemn and sting you and God who is greater than all knows you and all your secret sins are in the light of his countenance and he will bring them all to judgment and it will then fully appear to Angels and Devils and to Saints and Sinners what ye are 5. Therefore be not such now as ye dare not at the hour of death profess your selves to be Religion and Godliness is at all times to be profess'd before God and Angels and Men Rom. 10.10 For with the heart man believeth and with the mouth confession is made to salvation But what monsters would ye appear to your selves if ye did profess your selves to be what ye are Suppose ye were reading this but one hour before ye dye and must say We are now falling into the hands of the living God and by that time that the glass is run out and the clock strikes next we are to give account of our selves to the Judg of all the World Dare ye then say We profess our selves to be haters of God and children of the devil and despisers of our holy parents and that we chuse the way to hell 6. Consider what account ye can give in being such burdens of the earth and in being so grievous and chargeable to all who are concerned with you Is it nothing to you to be as biles or scabs in the body or as smoke or a stinking smell or an infectious disease in the house and family where ye are or as weeds in garden to cumber and annoy your place Ye will pay dear one day for all the sighs and groans and tears which ye have caused to your afflicted parents and friends it will sting you to think that so many have been losers by you and that your parents and brethren and sisters have been so much wasted and impoverished by your costly lusts and that ye have given cause to all your wicked companions to curse the day that ever they knew you and that ye have fill'd so many other parents besides your own with grief and bitterness by infecting and defiling and debauching their children and methinks I hear all these saying to you as Joshua said to Achan Josh 7.25 Ye have troubled us but the Lord shall trouble you Lastly I shall ask you this one question What would ye have your parents to do with you their love makes them to be continually concern'd for you but they know not what to do with you for all the means which they have yet used for your good hath but aggravated your guilt and their grief whilst they kept you at home ye did break all the good orders and rules of government in the family at set-times for meat and family-worship either your places were empty or fill'd with sin ye disquieted your parents wasted the estate defiled or disturbed your brethren and sisters and troubled the house night and day When they sent you to School ye plaid the truants grieved and dishonoured your Masters debauch'd your School-fellows and were a reproach and scandal to the School If they set you to be Apprentices ye hated and wrong'd your Masters and were a plague to the family If any of you were sent to the University ye were the rake-hells of the Colledge and the Society was sick of you till it had expell'd and cast you out if after all other means were us'd your parents sent you to Sea the Atheism and Wickedness of some of the Seamen did you more hurt than all the Wonders of God in the deep waters did you good so that ye return'd as if the Sea had made you like it self more raging and boisterous than before insomuch that your miserable parents can do nothing but spend their days in mourning for your sins and in praying for your salvation and in labouring to bear patiently your ruine and to be content to live and die the fathers and mothers of fools And now Children I will take my leave of you and shall leave you to the God with whom ye have to do and with whom ye must have to do for ever he is the God who will plead the cause of his own Name and Honour and of Religion with you and who will plead the cause of your distressed parents with you a God whose wrath ye can neither escape nor bear there is a war betwixt this God and you and if ye can make it appear that ye are greater and wiser and stronger and better than he ye may go on But my design in all this discourse is to perswade you to believe and repent and obey the Gospel and so to make peace with God through Jesus Christ and for your encouragement I do assure you that the grace of God and the Merits of Christ are as sufficient to save you from all your horrid abominations as if ye were as innocent as when ye were new-born God and Christ and Angels and your Parents and Friends and all Saints are ready to rejoyce in your conversion and salvation and your iniquities shall never be mentioned against you but upon your unfeigned turning to him God will as he is represented in the Parable of the Prodigal son meet you in mercy and fall on your necks and kiss you and entertain you with all the blessings of the Gospel saying These my children were dead and are alive they were lost and are found FINIS
Write ye this man and this woman childless the punishment had not been so great as to be afflicted with wicked children such parents may say with our Saviour in another case Luke 23.29 Blessed are the barren and the wombs that never bare and the paps which never gave suck As it 's better to have no herbs in your gardens than to have only stinking-weeds that cumber the ground and better to have no beasts in your ground than a company of foxes and wolves so it 's better to have no children than to have only such who are the continual shame and plague and torment of their parents 2. It 's a greater misery than to have diseased or deformed children This indeed is a sore affliction to be the parents of sick or blind or lame or monstrous children because such children are naturally disabled to do that service to God and their generation and their parents which otherwise they might do but this is not so grievous as to have wicked children for they that are most diseased and uncomely are often called to be the blessed and glorious children and heirs of God and the amiable and beautiful bride and spouse of Christ when all wicked children are the filthy and loathsome children of the devil 3. This is more grievous than the death of children I know it's matter of deep sorrow when parents may say with the tender Patriarch Gen. 42.36 Joseph is not and Simeon is not My son is dead and is not and my dear daughter is dead and is not but this sorrow is not lasting the impression of it usually doth and should wear off but wicked children are constant troubles to their parents and cause them to say with the Psalmist Psal 31.10 My days are spent with grief and my years with sighing 4. This calamity is greater than persecution from wicked men though that be also very grievous insomuch that Paul a man of a great spirit was so affected herewith that he solemnly beseecheth the Roman Christians Rom. 15.30 For the Lord Jesus sake and for the love of the Spirit that they would strive together with him in prayer to God for him to deliver him from persecutingmen it is a sad case to be smitten and wounded in our names by lying and slanderous tongues David and Christ in him tells us Psal 69.20 That reproach hath broken his heart It is sad for the jewels of God to be accounted and used as the sink and jakes of the world and to have our estates wasted and spoyl'd and to be expos'd to beggery and want and to be drag'd from our healthful and pleasant habitations and families and to be cast among rogues and thieves into nasty and loathsome prisons and to have our innocent and precious blood shed by barbarous men but all this is not so grievous as to be tormented by wicked children for in that case we are distressed by the sins of our enemies and if so as David speaks Psal 55.12 We could have born it But in this case we are afflicted by the sins of our own children and may say with David when he was reviled by Shimei 2 Sam. 16.11 Behold my son which came forth of my bowels seeketh my life how much more may this Benjamite It is a far greater torment to have the children of our own bowels tear and break our hearts than to be destroy'd by merciless enemies Fourthly The greatness of this calamity is seen in that it causeth these good parents to do all their work with sorrow I shall instance in three sorts of Works which they do in the bitterness of their Souls 1. Natural 2. Civil 3. Religious Works He that hath a wicked child on his heart doth all these with a sad heart 1. Natural Works these they do with sorrow They are fed with the bread of tears and drink their tears in great measure as the Psalmist speaks in another case Psal 80.5 And as it 's said in the prayer of the afflicted Psal 102.9 They eat ashes like bread and mingle their drink with weeping 2. They do their Civil Works with grief this makes them labour with sorrow in their particular callings it was Solomons trouble to think that a fool should have the rule of his labour wherein he laboured and shewed himself wise under the Sun Eccles 2.18 19 20. And this sad case is often observ'd that the same estates which were the fruit of the wise and good parents prayers and diligence are consum'd upon the childrens lusts and that the good creatures which were a blessing to the parents and wherewith they did honour God and feed Christ in his members do prove a curse to their children and weapons in their hands wherewith they sight against God and his people 3. This also causeth them to do their Religious Works in grief and sorrow I shall only instance in two particulars 1. This makes them instruct these poor ungodly children with sorrow It is a doleful case when men can have their dogs to come at their whistle and their horses to yield to the bridle and their oxen to submit to the yoke but their unruly children will not be subject to the holy government of their parents they can readily learn filthy words and wicked actions from their ungodly School-fellows or Fellow-apprentices or debauch'd companions but they will not hear the instruction of their father nor obey the law of their mother 2. This causeth them to pray for such children with sorrow for according as is the spiritual state of the children so are their holy parents affected in prayer to God for them when they can in prayer call upon God as the Father of their children and can present their children to God as such who are born of God and adopted of him and can beg mercy for them who are the vessels of mercy then they do as the Apostle for the Philippians Chap. 1.4 In every prayer make request for them with joy but when children are manifestly wicked and their good parents must in prayer to God call them what they are and must say Lord my poor children are children of the devil children of disobedience children of thy wrath lying swearing covetous drunken unclean stubborn children Oh pity pardon save convert them they pray for them but they pray in the sorrow and anguish of their souls Fifthly I come to shew how wicked children embitter all the comforts of their good parents so that as Solomon tells us Prov. 17.21 A father of a fool hath no joy I shall exemplifie this in four particulars 1. The good parents cannot be so comfortable and delightful to one another as they would be when both are in bitterness for their wicked children the husband cannot be such a comfort to his wife when he is almost in continual anger and sorrow for his wicked child nor the wife such a delight to her husband when her heart is bleeding for her ungodly child for if they have no joy in themselves as
Observe what sins your children are most prone unto and labour to fill them with revenge and hatred against those sins If your child have a foot or hand gangren'd ye will cut off the incurable member rather than bury your child so ye should do what ye can to pull out the right eye and to cut off the right hand and the right foot of sin in your children rather than suffer their bodies and souls to be cast into Hell As ye should especially kill those sins in your selves which your natures are most inclin'd unto so ye should do by your children who are so great a part of your selves we are taught Prov. 20.11 That even a child is known by his doing whether his work be pure or whether it be right Parents may much discern by the manners and ways of their children in their childhood what they are like to prove in their riper years and therefore they must observe them that they may encourage them in the good and discourage them in the evil which they then appear to be most bent unto 3. Chuse to place your children in families of holiness and prayer ye will not plant your trees among briars and thorns much less should ye chuse to place your children to serve those who will not serve God 4. Give them due correction this hath God commanded to kill their sins and to save their souls Prov. 23.13 14. Withhold not correction from the child for if thou beatest him with the rod he shall not dye thou shalt beat him with the rod and shalt deliver his soul from hell It is better thy child be whipt than damn'd and let not thy childs weeping and crying under the rod move thee to withhold due correction Prov. 19.18 Chasten thy son and let not thy soul spare for his crying If your childs bone be out of joint ye will have it set though he cry and bawl under the hand of the Surgeon and will say It 's better he cry now than be lame so long as he lives so it is better your children cry now under the rod of their father than that they should weep and wail for ever under the wrath of the infinite God and therefore that ye may perform this duty take these five Directions 1. Do not allow your servants to correct your children for correction is an act of authority and therefore cannot belong to those who are meerly your servants I would not have parents to permit their children to despise and abuse their servants but for parents to suffer their servants to correct their children is the way to make their children stubborn their servants proud and themselves contemptible in the eyes of both 2. Convince them that it is your duty to correct them for their sins and therefore it is adviseable that you make them get those Scriptures without book which bind you to correct them also some of those Scriptures which condemn the sins which you correct them for that their consciences may justifie you in doing your duty and that they may be more afraid of sin than the rod and of provoking God than offending you 3. Correct them betimes Prov. 13.24 and Prov. 19.18 Chasten thy son while there is hope Use the rod wisely to them before they become scourges and scorpions to you 4. Labour to be in a good frame when you correct them that love and prudence and meekness and not rage and fury may govern the rod and do not exercise too much severity towards them that ye may not provoke them to wrath lest the wrath of the children prove the grief of the parents 5. Pray to God for a blessing upon your correcting them that it may be effectual to drive out that foolishness which is bound up in their hearts Lastly Be good examples to your children let them not see you in any sin for that may infect them and make them despise you but let them always see you shining in the Image of God and that is the way to make them honour and obey you in the Lord live so that ye may say to them as Paul to the Philippians Chap. 4.9 Those things which ye have both learned and received and heard and seen in us do and the God of love and peace shall be with you 2dly I proceed to direct those parents who are under this calamity how to bear it 8 Directions 1. Abhor it as a great sin to faint under this affliction that is either to be disabled for thy duty or to sink in thy comforts for it 's a sign that thou didst place too much of thy happiness in thy children if their wickedness make thee faint under this calamity I shall only plead with thee as Joab did with David when he made that bitter lamentation for his son Absolom 2 Sam. 19.6 Thou hast declared this day that thou regardest neither princes nor servants So I say to thee thou hereby declarest that thou regardest not God and Christ if thy soul faint under the burden of a disobedient child 2. Consider what I have proved that this is an affliction which ordinarily befalls Gods dearest children ye must not think of this as if ye were the first godly parents of ungodly children or as if herein some strange thing happened unto you I confess where a calamity seems singular or extraordinary it is more apt to overwhelm the afflicted because they will be then apt to think that there is some extraordinary displeasure in God against them and to say with the Church Lam. 4.12 Behold and see if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow wherewith the Lord hath afflicted me in the day of his fierce anger But this affliction is ordinary and is consistent with the saving and distinguishing grace of God to them and is a rod that hath usually lain on the lot of the righteous 3. Consider that there might have befal'n thee greater miseries than this I shall instance in three greater Evils which would have made thee more miserable 1. Thou mightest have been a wicked an ungodly wretch thy self and for the great Jehovah to have curs'd and damn'd thee for ever would have made thee unspeakably more miserable than to be tormented a while with a wicked child 2. Thou mightest have had an ungodly yoke-fellow to be as rottenness in thy bones Solomon seems to speak of a troublesome yoke-fellow as more grievous than a wicked child Prov. 19.13 A foolish son is the calamity of his father and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping This is like the constant dropping of rain into a house which rots the building spoyls the goods and ruins both house and inhabitants and forasmuch as thy yoke-fellow is nearer and ought to be dearer to thee than thy child to be afflicted therein is a greater calamity 3. God might have left all your children to perish in their sins but if ye have but one godly child your joy in that should much abate your sorrow