said 142 The Contents OF The Discourse about the Right Way of Improving our Time THE Introduction 155 The Text explained 156 How Time is to be redeemed 1. Time is to be redeemed from sleep 158 2. It is to be redeemed from dressing and adorning the Body 162 3. It is to be redeemed from eating and drinking 165 4. It is to be redeemed from gaming 168 5. It is to be redeemed from visuing 172 6. Time is to be redeemed from worldly business 179 7. It is to be redeemed from idleness 183 8. It is to be redeemed in sacred and religious Performances by doing them in the best manner 186 Some Motives to Excite you to do these things 1. Motive from the shortness of your Time 197 2 Motive from the uncertainty of your Time 201 3. Motive from the greatness and difficulty of the work you have to do 209 4. Motive from the account you must give how you spend your Time 216 The Conclusion 223 ADVICE TO PARENTS PART I. IT has been always reckoned by the best and wisest men a thing absolutely necessary towards a Reformation in the World to begin with the Instruction and right Education of Children those of elder Years being ordinarily so rooted and hardned in their sinful habits that for the most part there 's very little can be done to reform them and make them better So sensible were some ancient States of this that they made particular Laws for educating Children thinking it too great a Trust to leave it altogether in the Power of Parents to train up their Children according to their Humour and Fancy Amongst Christians there are few restraints upon Parents in most Countries it being in their power to Educate their Children as they think good It is therefore of no small importance for them to know what their Duty is that they may approve themselves to God in doing whatever he requires towards their Children for their Souls their Bodies and their outward Estate The design of this Treatise is to furnish those who want such helps with some plain and easie directions that they may know how to act the part of Christian Parents While Children are yet in the Womb How Parents ought to be affected while Children are yet in the Womb. it is the Duty of Parents to endeavour to bring their mind to an indifferency as to the Sex which shall be born not to prescribe to God by their impatient desires and their bold asking of him a Child of this or that Sex but to leave it entirely to his Will and Pleasure to do what he thinks best The happiness of Parents does not consist in having Children of this or that Sex Sometimes Sons who are most desired ordinarily may prove useless in the World yea very hurtful in many regards they may occasion great grief of Heart and lasting Anguish and Vexation to their Parents by their mad and foolish Courses and wicked doings And on the other hand Daughters may prove great Blessings in the World great Comforts to their Parents and great Examples of Piety and of Zeal for the honour of God On which Accounts Parents ought to resign their will to God and be ready with all gratitude to accept whatever he bestows Secondly When a Child is born How they ought to be affected when their Children are born Parents ought with all thankfulness to return praise and thanks to God who hath bestowed such a Blessing on them giving them a living Child sound and perfect in all its parts and proportions without either defect of necessary parts or excess and deformity thereof This should make them admire and adore the Powerful and Wise Providence of God which appears in framing and fashioning their Infant so curiously and wonderfully in the Womb preserving it and making it grow up from a very small and imperfect beginning to such a bigness with all those comely shapes and proportions which they behold They ought to look upon their Children as given them of God to be taken care of both as to their Souls and Bodies to be bred up in his fear for his Honour and Glory to be made fit to serve him here and to live with him for ever hereafter The Soul being the chiefest part of the charge committed to Parents I shall first shew what they ought to do for their Childrens Souls The first Duty of Parents for the Souls of their Children is to consecrate them to God in Baptism First They ought to consecrate their Children to God in Baptism so soon as conveniently they can They cannot better express their gratitude to God for blessing them with Children than by presenting them to him again in this holy Ordinance that he may set his Seal upon them and admit them into his House and Family that he may bestow upon them the priviledges of his Children and give them a Right and Title to the Blessedness the Grace and Glory purchased by Jesus Christ It is for this End that Baptism is instituted not only to be a Ceremony of Admission into the Church but to seal unto us the pardon of our Sins to assure us of the Divine Favour to make us Members of Christ Heirs of God and Inheritours of the Kingdom of Heaven if we by wilful impeuitency and unbelief do not afterwards hinder and frustrate the Virtue thereof It is not necessary for Parents to enquire how such things are done by Baptism it is enough for them to know That Baptism is appointed for those Ends and we are sure that God appoints nothing in vain Our Saviour is said Eph. 5.26 To sanctify and cleanse his Church with the washing of water by the Word And Tit. 3.5 he is said to save us by the washing of Regeneration and renewing of the Holy Ghost And in the 22d of the Acts and 16. it is said by Ananias unto Paul Arise and be baptized and wash away thy Sins And says St. Peter 1 Epist 3.21 The like Figure whereunto even Baptism doth now also save us not the putting away of the filth of the Flesh but the answer of a good Conscience towards God by the Resurrection of Jesus Christ And St. Paul tells us Gal. 3.27 As many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ Which words import not only our owning and acknowledging him as the Saviour of the World who alone is able to wash and cleanse us with his Blood but also our professing our resolution to live holy lives to walk in newness of life according to his Example in token of which in the ancient Church they who were baptized were presently cloathed with White Rayment to testify their resolution to live in holiness and to put off the Old Man that is all their former wicked Deeds and Customs and filthy Practices Likewise Rom. 6.3 and 4. it is thus written Know ye not that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his Death Therefore we are buried
a loving Son unto her He knew how great an affliction it would be to her to be deprived of the Comfort of his presence in the World he knew to how many necessities and wants she should be exposed by his leaving of her and therefore he gives it in charge to the beloved Disciple to do the Duty of a Son unto her to be to her in his stead to honour her to love her to serve her to take care of her and provide whatever might be fit for her This shews all Children what is their Duty towards their Parents to wit that they ought to take care of them so long as they live and are able to do it they ought with all respect and kindness to perform unto them all those Offices which the Laws of Nature and Christianity require Fourthly May not the Examples of some Heathens 4. Motive from the Examples of some Heathens which have already been mentioned excite Christian Children to perform their Duty to their Parents There are a great many more instances might be added to this purpose I shall only mention two The first is of the brave Coriolanus that Great Roman Commander who being very ill used by his Country-men fled to the Volscians who were at that time at War with the Romans Within a little time after his coming amongst them he was made General of their Forces in which Service he had great Success against the Romans gaining several Victories over them whereby he was encouraged to approach to the very Walls of Rome His Country-men were terribly alarmed with this so that they were forced to make humble Addresses to him to deprecate his displeasure but to no purpose They sent their Priests in their sacred Vestments but to as little Effect But no sooner did his Mother attended with his Wife and Children come to him but he submitted himself to her Now says he you have overcome me indeed when the intreaties of my Mother are added to yours tho' Rome deserve my hatred yet for my Mothers sake I will spare it and immediately he withdrew his Army A second Example is that of the worthy Athenian Captain Cimon who not being able to redeem the Corps of his Father which was arrested for Debt sold himself and became a Slave that his deceased Father's Body might be freed from that Arrest that was upon it and so might have honourable Burial This great Man was famous for his Noble and Valiant Exploits for his great courage and excellent Conduct in Military Affairs but there was not any thing for which he was so much admired and loved as for this wonderful instance of Affection and Respect to his Father May not such shining Patterns amongst the Pagans make many Christians ashamed who come so far short of them in their Duty and Obedience to their Parents Shall not they rise up in Judgment and condemn Christians who tho' they have a more excellent compleat and perfect Rule tho' they have a great deal more Light to direct them in their Duty to their Parents and tho' they have much greater assistances to enable them to perform their Duty do nevertheless carry themselves so undutifully and unchristianly as if they had never heard of the Gospel of Christ yea as if they had been born without any impressions of Natural Religion on their Minds whereby all Nations are so far instructed and enlightned as to acknowledge that to honour obey love serve and assist our Parents is a Duty of unquestionable and indispensible Obligation The Conclusion shewing how Children ought to improve what hath been said From what hath been said Children may see how great reason they have to perform all those offices of Love Honour and Subjection to their Parents that God requires of them It remains that they seriously and impartially consider what their practice has been and whether they have done those things which God requires them to do towards their Father and Mother That you may do this to good purpose it 's fit that you employ some time in looking back on your Lives in considering how you have honoured loved and obeyed your Parents that you may see whether you have carried your selves towards them in words and deeds as became good Children who have a sense of Religion or whether you have not dishonoured neglected and disobeyed them If upon Examination of your selves you find that you have done your Duty that you have sincerely endeavoured to obey them in all things that you have loved them heartily and payed them that Respect which you knew was due unto them Bless God who hath given you to will and to do according to his good pleasure But because there are defects and imperfections which cleave to our exactest performances therefore it is needful that you beg of God to forgive you wherein soever you have been faulty or defective in those Duties you owed them Consider what these defects and imperfections are and resolve to amend them and go on in doing every part of your Duty to them with greater exactness and with all that perfection that 's possible But if upon inquiry into your hearts and lives you find that you have been very faulty and defective in the Duties you owe to your Parents that you have neglected to do what you ought to have done that instead of honouring them you have dishonoured them you have slighted and despised them you have moâ—kâ—d and scorned them you have reviled and reproached them if instead of obeying them you find that you have been stubborn and disobedient to them you have refused to follow their Counsels and Admonitions you have done your own Will and followed your own vain humour and fancy in contempt of their Will if instead of submitting to their corrections and chastenings you have refused submission to them and perhaps have rebelled against them if instead of loving them you have hated them and wished and desired their death if instead of relieving them in their wants and supplying them with what was necessary for them you have wasted their substance by your riotous and extravagant Living you have put off all bowels of compassion and tenderness towards them it I say you find that you have thus carried your selves towards them in a way so contrary to your Duty how ought you to lament and mourn for your wickedness and folly How ought you to accuse your selves for your great iniquity and to aggravate your crimes by all just and fit considerations You may in this manner expostulate the case with your selves What a sad and unworthy Wretch am I who have thus dishonoured hated and disobeyed my dear Parents who are under God the Authors of my Being in the World to whom I owe that I am Who have proved so undutiful to them who took care of me when I could not take care of my self who fed and cloathed me who were at so great pains and charge for me who have employed so much of their time and strength
jam viventem jam hominem jam matris officia implorantem Lam. 4.3 Even the Sea Monsters draw out the Breast they give Suck to their young ones And shall Women degenerate into such unnatural Barbarity towards their young as is not to be met with amongst the most savage Creatures Shall they whose love and tenderness has been so noted and admired prove unkind and cruel to the fruit of their own Womb 2ly When Children are fit for stronger Food 2. Duty about Childrens Diet. Parents are not to indulge them too much in gratifying the curiosity and daintiness of their Palate which not only is apt to make them too soft and tender but likewise disposeth them to gluttony and sensuality to make their Belly their God It is fit to accustom them to a plain and simple Diet which is generally more wholsom than that sort of Food which is very artifically prepared The State of all Humane Things is very uncertain they who have at present all manner of things in greatest plenty and variety may meet with changes and vicissitudes It 's therefore a part of the Wisdom of Parents to accustom their Children so far as their Health and strength can bear it to eat any sort of Food that so if God sees fit to change their outward condition and circumstances they may be the more fit and able to endure such an alteration Thirdly As to their Habit and Apparel 3. Duty about Childrens Apparel Parents ought to cloathe them decently but not gorgeously Fineries and Gayeties in Apparel are apt to make people especially younger persons vain and conceited to value themselves upon their gay Cloathing It is fit often to suggest to them that their Cloaths and Apparel are but borrowed Feathers and therefore that it is a great folly to be proud of that which is not their own but which they owe to the Sheep or Goats to the Worms or Bowels of the Earth It is not fit for Parents to make too great distinction among their Children as to their Apparel because this is apt to cause discontents and jealousies hatred and envy contentions and quarrellings amongst them Joseph's Coat of many Colours which his old Father Jacob gave him caused his Brothers to hate and envy him and at last to conspire most wickedly against him Gen. 37.3 4. c. The same is to be said as to their Diet and other things wherein it is no small part of the Wisdom of Parents not to shew too much fondness to one above all the rest This does not hinder but that Parents may to very good purpose give Rewards to their Children for their Acts of Virtue for their ready and chearful Obedience to their Commands for their diligence and care in performing what was appointed them c. Whereby they who do such things are encouraged and they who do not but are careless and negligent are punished and spurred up to amend their faults But when such marks of favour are bestowed 't is fit to let the rest know that if they do as well they also shall have a Reward By which means they will see that Virtue and Goodness are the things which their Parents love and esteem most and for which they are ready to bestow the marks of their affection The Duty of Parents as to the outward Estate of their Children A third thing that belongs to the care of Parents is the outward Estate of their Children First When they are fit for a Trade 1. Duty to chuse a fit Trâ—… them they ought to chuse an honest Employment for them To suffer them to live in Idleness is to ruin them If they have not some useful thing or other to take up their thoughts they are in great hazard of finding somewhat to do which is bad and hurtful both to themselves and others The Devil is always at hand to furnish Occasions to idle people for employing themselves to their own destruction As to the particular kind of Employment wherein Children are to spend their days it is to be left to the discretion and prudence of Parents They are so to instruct and dispose the minds of their Children that they may be ready to be determined to any Trade or manner of Life that 's honest which their Parents think best and meetest for them to follow But yet a great regard is to be had to the particular Genius and Inclination of Children which ordinarily disposeth them more for one sort of Employment than another It will make them more diligent in learning their Trade when they have a delight in it Otherwise if they are put forth to a Trade against their minds they are more likely to neglect it or to break off from it Seldom do such persons attain unto great perfection in their Employment who follow it against the grain 2. Duty about disposing of them in Marriage Secondly When they are fit for Marriage Parents are so to dispose of them as that in all likelyhood they may be happy in such a state of Life They are not to constrain them to marry against their will for such marriages are seldom happy they end too often in somewhat or other very Tragical and Calamitous to one or t'other party if not to both Great care is to be taken that there be not too great inequality of outward state and condition for that occasions often neglect and contempt of the person that is inferiour to the other in some external advantages Nor yet too great inequality of years for that doth likewise sooner or later cause an abatement and decay and sometimes an utter extinction of that Respect and Love which is necessary to make those who are married happy Parents are not in disposing of their Children in Marriage to govern themselves wholly by their respect to Riches and Honour but are to have a regard to Virtue and Goodness so far as to prefer one who is discreet and wise of a Virtuous and good disposition to another that is foolish or indiscreet and prophane and Atheistical tho' attended with greater degrees of Wealth and Earthly Honour What a great Reproach is it to our Religion to think that so many Parents in disposing of their Children only consider how much Wealth they may have and what Friends and Alliances they may make by marrying into such a Family or what Profits and Preferments may be expected thereby As for any other thing they do not much trouble their Heads about it They know no other happiness but in the things of this life and therefore they seek nothing else for their Children but to make them great and wealthy by which means it often comes to pass that they bring their Children into a most miserable and unhappy state of life in which they must pine away their days in sorrow and grief in the Company of foolish and wicked wretches who are often in a fury and rage who spend their time in gaming and drinking in Cursing and Swearing
their Parents or if what they say hath not the designed effect then they may recommend this charitable office to the care of some other body who is a wise and kind a pious and serious Friend who may have some more influence than themselves towards the reclaiming their Parents This is the greatest expression of true kindness honour and respect to them when their Children sincerely endeavour in the discreetest manner to be the happy instruments of their Conversion and Reformation of turning them from Satan unto God This is to be in some sort the Fathers in Christ to those who are their Parents by Nature O how happy are the Parents of such worthy Children How may they rejoyce and bless God who hath bestowed on them so great a Blessing If Children are thus obliged to honour their Parents Against those who dishonour their Parents what shall be said of those who dishonour despise and slight them all that ever they can who undervalue them in their thoughts who speak of them with great contempt and disdain who speak to them with great insolence who mock and scorn them who laugh at them and make mouths at them and point at them with the finger who reproach and revile them who break indecent jests upon them who make them the objects of their sport and pastime who take pleasure in publishing their weaknesses and indiscretions that others also may laugh at them and despise them How dreadful and terrible are the Curses and Judgments which God hath in store against such wretched Children Prov. 30.17 The eye that mocketh at his father and despiseth to obey his mother the Ravens of the vallies shall pick it out and the young Eagles shall eat it That is he who is a mocker and scorner of his Parents who despises and slights them shall die a shameful death and remain unburied and shall be exposed to the birds and beasts of prey to be eaten of them It does not follow from hence that all perverse wretched Children come to such a shameful and untimely end Only it shews what oft-times happeneth and is very usual to wit that such mockers and despisers of Parents are punished remarkably by the Justice of God in this World and are made Examples to all others who will open their eyes to consider the hand of God against such ungodly Children As for Instances of the Divine Justice against Mockers of Parents all Ages and Countries are full of them C ham was made an Example of this Gen. 9.22 24 25. And C ham the father of Canaan saw the nakedness of his father and told his two brethren without And Noah awoke from his wine and knew what his younger son had done unto him And he said Cursed be Canaan a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren In which words tho' Canaan the Son of Cham is only mentioned yet Cham is not exempted from the Curse his punishment is hereby made so much the greater because he is not only pronounced accursed in his own person which is necessarily to be supposed he having committed the sin which caused the Curse but also in his Posterity which could not but increase mightily his grief and make his punishment lye more heavy upon him 2. Duty to obey their Parents Secondly Children are to obey their Parents to do what they bid them See this in the Example of Joseph when Jacob sent him to his Brethren Gen. 37.13 14. And Israel said unto Joseph Do not thy brethren feed the flock in Shechem Come and I will send thee unto them And he said to him Here am I. And he said to him Go I pray thee see whether it be well with thy brethren and well with the flocks and bring me word again so he sent him out of the vale of Hebron and he came to Shechem The Commands of Parents are either about the same things which God hath commanded or they are about things indifferent or about things unlawful If they are about the same things which God hath commanded they are so much the more to be obeyed as being the will and pleasure both of their Father in Heaven and of their earthly Parents In this case the obligation to obedience is double Secondly If their Parents Commands are about things indifferent that is which are neither commanded nor forbidden by God Children are likewise to obey them God hath made it their Duty so to do Col. 3.20 Children obey your Parents in all things for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. This obedience is very acceptable to him he takes great pleasure and delight in it to see those obeyed and submitted to whom he hath appointed to be as it were in his own stead whom he hath cloathed with some beams of Divine Power whom with relation to their Children he hath made in some sense sacred persons whose Will ought to be a Law unto them tho' only in the Lord. For Thirdly if the thing commanded be plainly unlawful they are to refuse complacence therewith because they are bound to obey God rather than man rather than Father or Mother rather than all the World Their obligations to God are much greater than to their Parents he is the Maker both of them and of their Parents they live by his Bounty the Earth they tread on is his the Air they breathe in the Heavens that cover them the food they eat the water they drink the garments that cloath them and all other things which they enjoy for their benefit and comfort in the World are the Lord's He is their great Master who appoints them their business in the World and assures them of a reward he also will reckon with them and either reward or punish them according to their works and therefore his Commands are to be preferred to those of all others But even in this case Children are to express in their very denial and refusal of obedience all that Honour and Respect to their Parents that 's possible that they may see it is not stubbornness but the fear of God which makes them disobey By this means Parents may perhaps be convinced and made sensible of their sin and prevailed with to shun those evil things which they see their very Children do so much hate and abhor and wherein they refuse to obey Against stubborn and disobedient Children If Children are thus bound by the Laws of Heaven to obey their Parents what shall be said of those who make no account of their Parents Commands but set at naught all their Admonitions and Counsels who will not follow their Directions and be governed by them for their own good but do follow their own humor fancy and the examples and customs of others like themselves What a sad mark is this of approaching ruine and of heavy Judgments which hang over the heads of such ungodly Children as you may see in the Sons of Ely 1 Sam. 2.25 of whom it is said that they hearkened not unto
and tenderness to her Mother that he made it known to those in Power who were likewise so mightily touched with such an unusual instance of tender Affection that they pardoned the Mother as the greatest Reward they could bestow on the Daughter for her marvellous Affection What can there be more just and reasonable than for Children thus to endeavour to requite their Parents for their great care and kindness towards them when they were not able to help themselves The time was when their Parents were as Eyes and Hands and Feet to them they did every thing for them their Children not being capable to do any thing for themselves How ready therefore should they be to serve their Parents to assist them by all good Offices when their condition requires it This is a Duty to which Children are so strictly obliged to wit the assisting and relieving of their Parents that no pretence is sufficient to absolve them from the Obligation thereof The Pharisees thought they had found out an Exception from this Rule which was this that if Children gave away their Wealth to pious and Charitable uses they were freed from the Obligation of relieving their Parents They taught them in this case to tell their Parents It is Corban that is to say a Gift by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me Mar. 7.11 And by saying this they made people believe that they were sufficiently freed from all Obligations to take care of and provide for their Parents But our Saviour reproves them severely telling them that this was no other than the making void the Commandments of God by their Traditions We may see from this Against unkind and unnatural Children what Judgment to make of such unkind undutiful and unnatural Children who do wholly neglect their Parents especially in their old age and in their poor and low Estate who shew them no more pity and express no more love nor tenderness towards them than if they were not their Parents who grudge them the least supply and take all the wicked courses that they can to starve them to death that they may be rid of them who wish and long for and rejoyce in the death of their poor Parents O what a horrid Barbarity and Inhumanity is this Shall not many Pagans rise up in Judgment against such Children and Condemn them How little do they deserve the Name of Christian Children Their true Name is Unchristian and unnatural Children As Solomon bid the Sluggard go to the Ant so may we bid such hard-hearted and unmerciful Children go to the Stork of whom it is told that when the old Dams cannot feed themselves their little ones feed and nourish them when their Feathers fall from them they cover them with their Feathers and when they are not able to fly they couple themselves together to carry them upon their Backs Let uncompassionate Children go to this compassionate Creature and consider her ways and be wise Let them learn from her to be more kind and affectionate and tender-hearted towards their Parents and not any longer to harden their Bowels against them 7. Duty to pray for their Parents Seventhly Because all that Children can do is not sufficient to requite the love and tender care of their Parents therefore they ought to pray to God that he would reward them and preserve them and keep them alive that he would supply all their wants and comfort them in all their troubles and requite their Love their tender care and their great cost and pains they have been at to bring them up and to educate them How happy are the Parents of such Children who are supplicants and intercessors at the Throne of Grace for good things unto them Such Children are the strength of their Parents they are a great blessing unto them If it be the Duty of Children thus to pray to God Against Cursers of Parents in behalf of their Parents what shall we say of those who neither pray for them nor themselves but live like the Beasts that perish and mind nothing that 's good And if their Crime is great who do not at all pray for their Parents how dreadful is their Guilt who Curse them What dreadful Judgments may such Monsters of wickedness expect Prov. 20.20 Who so Curseth his Father or his Mother his Lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness that is he shall be reduced unto a sad afflicted and miserable State his prosperous condition which is compared to Light or to a Lamp shall be turned into Adversity and Misery and that very great which is expressed by obscure darkness he shall be made very miserable his state and condition in the World shall become most uncomfortable as it is for a Man who walketh in a way that is full of Light where he beholds a great many Objects which afford him pleasure and delight suddenly to be deprived of all this and to find himself all alone in obscure darkness without all help and comfort By the Law of Moses such ungodly and unnatural Children were without any pardon to be put to death Exod. 21.17 He that Curseth his Father or his Mother shall surely be put to death From what hath been said Children may see what their Duty is which they owe to their Parents which that they may perform there are several things which serve as powerful Motives and Arguments to excite them Motives to excite Children to do these things First 1. Motive from the divine Commandment It will tend mightily to move them to Honour their Father and Mother if they consider who requires this at their hands This Law proceedeth not from Men but from God It is a Law made by him who is their Maker and therefore by right of Creation may require their Obedience It is a Law made by their faithful preserver and rich provider and therefore by vertue of his daily care over them and kindness to them may command them what he thinks good This is the will of their Father in Heaven of their Lord and King of him who will call them to an account and render to them according to their Works of him who is their greatest and best Friend if they do his Will and keep his Commandments but will be their most dreadful and terrible Enemy if they do not obey his Voice If therefore children have any sense of God on their Souls if they consider his infinite greatness power wisdom justice truth faithfulness mercy and kindness they cannot but endeavour to perform what he requires when once they know what is his holy will and pleasure Now as to what I speak of to wit the Duty of Children to Parents it is plain and clear not only from those Laws which are contained in Holy Scripture which were revealed from Heaven to Holy Men whom God made use of to be the publishers thereof to the World but likewise from the Laws of Nature those clear impressions which God hath made on the minds
of Men in all places and in all Ages whereby they are taught that Children ought to honour and obey their Parents to love them and to relieve them and provide for them if they stand in need of their help These have always been the calm and sober thoughts of all Men and when any were so wicked as to violate this sacred Law they were hated and abhorred by all others and in all well govern'd States were punished according to the demerits of their Crime and the degree of their disobedience and perverseness either immediately by the Parents or by publick Judges upon complaint made by Parents The Sense of all this ought to move Children to honour their Father and Mother that they may approve themselves to God who requires them to do so and that upon the severest Penalties if they shall dare to dishonour them and disobey them Secondly To encourage Children to perform their Duty to their Parents 2. Motive from the Divine Promise God hath been pleased to add a gracious promise That thy days may be long upon the Land which the Lord thy God giveth thee He might only have commanded them to do this by virtue of his absolute Power and Soveraign Authority which he has over all Men without proposing any Reward but such is his infinite Bounty and Goodness that he hath added a Promise to the Command thereby to make Childrens Duty the more easie As to the Promise it self it is not to be understood absolutely as if all good Children should live long promises of Temporal Blessings are made conditionally that is so far as God sees such things best and fittest for us So that as to this promise of long life God will bestow it if it be most for his own Glory and the good and Benefit of Children Oftentimes he does lengthen out the years of pious and dutiful Children whereas the years of wicked and undutiful Children are shortned by their prophane and wicked Courses so that some of them are cut off immediately by the hand of God and others are put to death by the hand of Man As for those Children who live not to a great Age tho' they are very dutiful and obedient to their Parents God doth make up what is wanting in the number of their years here with an everlasting Life and Glory in Heaven In which case there 's no cause to Complain as if God did not fulfill his promise to them For as there is no reason for a Man to complain who is employed to work for so much a day if his Master see it fit to free him from his Work and pay him all his Wages before the third part of his time is out Even so if God think fit to set his Children at Liberty from the toil and labour of this life and to bestow upon them glorious and Eternal Rewards while they are in the Morning or Noon as it were of their Age there is no ground of complaining upon his doing so but rather great matter of praise and thanksgiving unto him whose mercy and love is infinitely great But besides this Reward in the other World there are Temporal Blessings which God will bestow on those who keep this Commandment How acceptable and pleasing to him was the Obedience of the Rechabites unto their Father tho' his Commands seemed very hard and severe to wit That they should drink no Wine nor build House nor sow seed nor plant Vineyard nor have any but should dwell in Tents Jer. 35. 6 7. c. And ver 18. Jeremiah said unto the House of the Rechabites Thus saith the Lord of Hosts the God of Israel because you have obeyed the Command of Jonadab your Father and kept all his Precepts and done according to all that he hath commanded you Therefore thus saith the Lord of Hosts the God of Israel Jonadab the Son of Rechab shall not want a Man to stand before me for ever Which Words import that he would take a particular care of them that he would be mindful of them and have them in his Eye that he would preserve them and shew them his favour and love and continue unto them those Offices and Priviledges which they enjoyed which some think were of being Scribes and Doctors of the Law and having some Charge in or about the Temple 3. Motive from the Example of our Blessed Saviour Thirdly Besides the Command of God and the Reward which he hath promised to them who honour their Parents how strong an Argument ought it to be unto all Children to excite them to this when they consider the Example of their Blessed Lord and Master their King and Saviour Jesus Christ Of whom it is said that he was subject unto his Parents Luke 2.51 And if he who was so much greater than his Parents who was their Lord their King their Maker their Saviour and Redeemer if he who was the Son of God and thought it no Robbery to be equal with God I say if he was subject to his Parents ought not all Children to be so to their Parents and to esteem it their glory to imitate their Prince and Saviour as in his other Virtues so in his Obedience and Subjection to his Parents Shall any Man think himself too good to do this when Christ did it before him Can it be too mean for a Worm to do that which a Man a great Man and a mighty Prince hath done Shall vile sinners think themselves abased and dishonoured by doing that which was done before by him who knew no sin and in whose Mouth there was found no guile who was holy harmless and undefiled separate from sinners and made higher than the Heavens Heb. 7.26 As our Blessed Lord was a great and noble Pattern to us in other things so particularly in his love to his Parents When he was upon the Cross a little before he gave up the Ghost he expressed how great his love was to his Mother and how tender a care he had of her John 19.25 26 27. Now there stood by the Cross of Jesus his Mother and his Mothers Sister Mary the Wife of Cleophas and Mary Magdalene When Jesus therefore saw his Mother and the Disciple standing by whom he loved he saith unto his Mother Woman behold thy Son Then saith he to the Disciple behold thy Mother And from that hour that Disciple took her unto his own home He commends his Mother to John Joseph in all probability being dead that he might take care of her as of his own Mother Tho' he was at this time in the midst of great pain and anguish tho' his hands and his feet were nailed to the Cross tho' his head was Crowned with Thorns tho' he lay under the most insupportable Burden that ever Man lay under yet as if the sight of his Mother had made him forget all his Sufferings and Torments he affectionately recommends her to the Care of another who he knew would perform all the Offices of
made so publick a profession It would make them more afraid to do bad things against which they had protested so solemnly And not only fear but shame in this case would restrain them from doing wickedly This would be to young People a great defence against Temptations Bad men would not so boldly ask them to sin if they knew they had openly and solemnly disowned and renounced them and all their wicked Courses and if they were tempted they would be more apt to say in their own minds Shall we do such wicked things and run the hazard of being Covenant-breakers and perjured persons Shall we commit such Villanies and practice such Abominations and thereby break our solemn Vow and Engagement Shall we by our folly and impiety give occasion of offence and scandal to the Church of Christ which he hath purchased with his Blood Shall we renounce the Captain of our Salvation and prove Deserters who have so lately vowed to renounce the Devil and all his Works What a mighty defence would this be to your Children when assaulted by the fiery Darts of the Devil the Vanities of the World and the lusts of their own deceitful hearts to consider that by their own actual Consent they have renounced all these and given up themselves into the hands of God to be kept by his mighty Power through Faith unto Salvation They have vowed and they ought to perform it to keep his righteous Judgments These things being impartially considered should mightily excite Parents to see that their Children do openly and solemnly profess their Faith in Christ crucified their resolution to obey him to serve him and love him to fight under his Banner against sin the Devil and the World and to continue his Faithful Souldiers and Servants unto their lives end Is not this your Glory that your Children are Christians and do you think it a shame or dishonour for you or them if they make a solemn profession of their Christianity that they avow their Religion and will by Gods help make good the promise which was made in their Name in Baptism Of so great importance is this Custom that the greatest men amongst the Reformers did highly commend it and did earnestly with that it might be restored as a thing of great use towards the reviving the true Spirit of Christianity 8. Duty to encourage them to come to the Lord's Table Eighthly When they are fit for it you should encourage them to come to the Table of the Lord that they may be strengthened in their most holy Faith and further assured of the love of God that they may make a publick profession of their Christianity of their love to their Lord and Master Jesus of their Charity to all Men and of their sincere affection to those who are Christs Members and Followers They ought to make use of this holy Sacrament that their love to their dearest Lord and Saviour may be kindled and enflamed by remembring his Love and shewing forth his Death that they may bind themselves more strictly to serve and obey him and to fulfil their Baptismal Engagement How glad should Parents be to see their Children advanced to this honour to eat and drink at their Lord's Table to partake of so great a Testimony of his Kindness and Friendship How earnestly should they encourage them to embrace this opportunity of renewing their Covenant with the Lord to live and to dye his faithful Servants Do you not desire to have them saved to have them delivered from their Lusts and Passions their Pride and Revenge Uncharitableness and Malice their Hatred and Envy and from all manner of Sin and Folly to be made pure and clean in Heart and Life to be made meet for that holy place where no unclean thing can enter Do you not desire that their Sins may be blotted out that they may be washed with the Blood of their Saviour And yet do you not advise and entreat them for their Souls Health and Safety to come to the Holy Communion which is designed for these excellent and great Ends and Purposes But alas how far are too many Parents from doing this for their Children How many do either wholly or for the most part neglect and slight this holy Ordinance themselves as if our Lord had without any just or necessary ground appointed it How can such Persons expect the precious Fruits of the Death of Christ who will not remember his Death when he so lovingly and kindly calls and invites them to do it Do this in remembrance of me What a great Argument is it of a wonderful decay of true Piety and Religion in the World when Men do thus despise and set at naught the kindness of their Lord and Saviour When they refuse to do a thing so just and reasonable and so easie as this is which tends so much to his Glory and their own true Happiness and Welfare both here and hereafter 9. Duty to take care that they accustom themselves to Self-Examination Ninthly When they are fit for it see that they accustom themselves to Self-Examination that they spend a few moments every night if another time of the day be not more convenient for them to do it in in calling themselves to an account That they may see what good or what evil they have done That they may give praise and thanks unto God for any thing they have done which was good and right and that they may confess their Sins and Follies begging his gracious pardon and renewing their purposes and resolutions to do better for the time to come But besides these daily short Reviews of their Heart and Life 't is fit to call upon them when they are well advanced in years to a more strict and solemn Examination of themselves to Prayer and Fasting as their Age and Strength can bear it This may be done once a Month or once in two Months or once a Quarter at least As to their abstinence from Food on such days there 's no Rule can be given to serve all persons if they can fast one meal or two it is well if not then they may eat less at a time and of such things as are less apt to be a hinderance to their Devotion That is to be done that serves most to render them fit for Prayer and Meditation It will be convenient in order to their doing this to good purpose to be directed to a method that so their Thoughts may not wander and be unfixed For which end it will be of good use to have the direction of their Minister if he be a discreet and good Man or of some other prudent serious Christian Friend Or you may recommend to them some plain and easie short Treatise on this Subject such as you shall find written discreetly with due moderation of Spirit There is not any one method can be prescribed for all persons nor fit for all times But in general upon such days it 's fit for them to
perfect and glorious freedom The consideration of these things should mitigate and asswage your sorrow and grief and fill you with unspeakable comfort and gladness But some are apt to say I should rejoyce if I thought that my Children who are dead were in Heaven But this I do not know As to this you are not to trouble your thoughts about it for God does not see fit to acquaint you with such things Secret things belong to God and things revealed to us and to our Children Deut. 29.29 If your Children while they were alive minded good things and if you did your part to instruct them and to make them what God requires them to be you are not to be any further solicitous about their everlasting state You are to hope that they are very happy and you are to comfort your selves with these thoughts But some are apt to say I am afraid that my Children are not in a happy state they did very bad things and used bad Company and therefore I have cause to fear and to be troubled about them now that they are dead As to such Parents who have had wretched Children they ought not to suffer their minds to be disordered and oppressed with grief and sorrow because their Children who died were wicked If they did their Duty to make them better if they advised and admonished them if they reproved them and as was fitting chastened them if they desired others to deal with them to see what they could do towards the reclaiming of them if they prayed to God for them and gave them a good Example they are not any further to be troubled and disquieted concerning them when God takes them into his own hand He is wise and good holy and just he does all things well for excellent and glorious ends and therefore Parents ought to leave them to his Disposal who is the Supreme Governour of the World and Judge of the whole Earth Whatever he does whether in Mercy or Justice is always best The Inhabitants of the other World who are translated into a state of heavenly Glory are not under the power of such passions and partialities as govern us here below The glorified Parents of damned Children are not under any uneasiness on that or any other account The Will of God and his Glory is their all they know that whatever he does is most perfectly just and good and for his honour and therefore all things afford them great pleasure and delight true and lasting joy and satisfaction of mind There 's nothing able to interrupt the happiness and joy of those in Glory They are perfectly and eternally delivered from all sort of evils both of sin and punishment They are placed above the reach of whatever may render them in the least uneasie But there is a third sort of those who are troubled not only because their Children were bad and prophane but because they were so through their example or neglect As for such I have already in general shewed them what they ought to do I shall only add That since they have been so faulty and defective in their Duty towards their deceased Children they ought to be the more careful of those who are yet alive and to do all that is possible to make them what God requires them to be As to those who have no more Children left them it would be very fit for them to take into their care one or more Children upon whom they may bestow all that pains care which they should have bestowed in the right Education of their own and endeavour by God's help to make them truly pious and religious and Patterns of all sorts of Virtue to others This is an office which will be very acceptable to God and one of the best demonstrations which Parents can make of the sincerity of their Repentance for their not having done their Duty to their own Children 4. They should consider that there will be a Resurrection Fourthly Consider That there will be a Resurrection of all those that are dead The mighty Power of God which made all things cut of nothing will also gather together the scattered dust of those who are deceased and will reform and rebuild as it were their bodies which are fallen down and consumed He will raise them up again in a more excellent perfect and glorious manner Then shall you meet with your Children and Friends who died in the Lord and behold them after another manner than you saw them here in this World Instead of weak and diseased bodies you shall see them strong vigorous and lively bodies Instead of frail and dying bodies you shall see immortal and incorruptible bodies Instead of filthy and vile bodies you shall see pure and glorious bodies And you shall see them so as to be with them for ever so as never any more to be separated from them by death or any other thing for you and they shall die no more 1 Cor. 15.42 43 44. So also is the resurrection of the dead It is sown in corruption it is raised in incorruption it is sown in dishonour it is raised in glory It is sown in weakness it is raised in power It is sown a natural body it is raised a spiritual body And vers 15 53. This corruptible must put on incorruption and this mortal must put on immortality How gladly would poor people part with their dearest Children if they could be assured of seeing them again in an honourable state and condition exalted to great Dignity and Honour And will not you who have the hopes of a glorious Resurrection be comforted in the absence of your Children when their merciful God and Father takes them away from you unto himself not to do them hurt but good to make them happy and blessed with himself for ever to bestow upon them what eye hath not seen nor ear heard nor which hath entred into the heart of man to conceive Consider the words of the Apostle to the Thessalonians 1 Epist 4.13 14. But I would not have you to be ignorant Brethren concerning them which are asleep that ye sorrow not even as others which have no hope For if we believe that Jesus dyed and rose again even so them which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him 5. They should consider that their giving way to excessive Grief and Mourning can do no good but will certainly do a great deal of hurt Fifthly Your giving way to excessive Grief and Mourning can do you no good but will certainly do you a great deal of hurt and mischief in many respects It cannot bring back your Children that are dead Though you should break your Hearts into a thousand pieces by your weeping and mourning and waste and consume your years in constant heaviness and sorrow tho' you should never henceforth allow your selves one moment of relaxation of mind after all you must go to them they shall not return to you Now what a
to provide for me all necessary things and yet that I should prove so wicked as to despise them to disobey them and hate them not to submit my self unto them what base and wicked ingratitude is it That I who should have been a Blessing to them should prove a Curse That I who should have been a Comfort to them should be the cause of their grief and sorrow That I who should have been a help unto them should be so great a hinderance That I who should have been the stay and support of their Old age should prove their ruine and the cause of the spending of their days in anguish and trouble What a prodigious impiety is this What a wretched and abominable Creature am I who have been guilty of such horrid impiety Who have had so little regard to those who are to me in God's stead here in the World What punishment do I not deserve What a wonder is it that God hath spared me and pitied me and hath not cut me off in the midst of my disobedience neglect and contempt of my Parents That he hath not made me an Example to all others and a standing Monument of his just displeasure That he has not bound me hand and foot and cast me into utter darkness and given me my portion with Hypocrites and Sinners but hath lengthened out my years and given me time and place to repent Having thus in your own minds expostulated the matter with your selves you may in the next place adore and bless the Divine Goodness the infinite Mercy and astonishing Kindness of God towards you in having spared and pitied you in not dealing with you after your sins nor rewarding you after your iniquities but that he hath been pleased to wait to be gracious to you Humbly confess your faults and offences unto him with great shame and confusion of face and with true grief and sorrow of heart acknowledge your iniquities make particular confession so far as you remember of your stubbornness and disobedience to your Parents of your contempt and neglect of them of your hating them and wishing Evil to them of your speaking irreverently and wickedly to them or of them of your not submitting to their Corrections of your not heeding their Admonitions and Counsels nor regarding their just Reproofs c. Beg of God for Christ's sake to have mercy on you and to blot out your Sins and to make you what you ought to be After this it is fit to form sincere and hearty Resolutions of doing your Duty in all respects to your Parents for the time to come of loving honouring obeying and serving them as you ought to do Resolve to amend whatever has been amiss and defective either in your thoughts words or deeds with relation to them Beg of God to strengthen you in your Resolutions to fortify you against all Temptations to inspire you with his Fear and Love to guide you by his good Spirit and that he would never leave you nor forsake you If the Example and Society of other wicked Children has been an occasion of making you so bad and of hardening you in your Contempt Stubbornness and Disobedience resolve to break off your Familiarities with them let them and all others know and see that you are sorry for your Disobedience to your Parents for your having dishonoured slighted and neglected them and that you are resolved to do so no more but will by the help of God approve your selves Dutiful Kind and Obedient Children Not only must you in this manner make your Humble and Penitent Confession to Almighty God your Heavenly Father whom you have provoked as by your other Sins so particularly by your disobedience to your Parents and by your dishonouring of them but you must likewise confess unto your Parents the Crimes whereof you have been guilty against them you must say as the Prodigal did I will arise and go to my Father and will say unto him Father I have sinned against Heaven and before thee and am no more worthy to be called thy Son Luke 15.18 19. Let your Parents see that you are heartily sorry for your Offences against them by Word or Deed beg of them to forgive you and desire them to pray to God that he would forgive you You are to be careful after this to fulfil your Purposes and Resolutions and to perform all those Duties of Love Honour and Obedience to your Parents wherein you were formerly so defective For this end it is fit daily and earnestly to beg of God that he would direct and assist you to do what is well-pleasing in his sight It is necessary for you to be very jealous of your deceitful and desperately wicked Hearts to watch over them carefully lest they turn aside towards your former crooked Ways lest you return with the Dog to the Vomit Watch against all those Temptations whereby you are most in danger of being seduced and intangled again in your former perverse Practices and Customs As you have been formerly very negligent and defective in Honouring and Obeying your Parents endeavour for the future so much the more to perform all those Duties which you owe unto them with great care and exactness As you have been great Examples of Disobedience strive to be so much the greater Patterns of Obedience Endeavour to do all that you can that they who have been by your Counsels or Examples corrupted and made stubborn and disobedient may be reformed and rescued from their sins and wickedness that as you have been Instruments to promote Satan's Kingdom so you may be zealous for the glory of God for promoting Piety and true Virtue in the World whereof this is no inconsiderable part that Children honour their Father and Mother and do all those Duties with chearfulness unto them which God requires This is the way to obtain the divine pardon to turn away his Wrath and to keep off those heavy Judgments which are threatned against stubborn Children and such who mock and scorn their Parents Or if God see it fit to punish you here he will make your Corrections and Punishments and all other things work together for your good and after he hath tryed you he will bestow upon you rewards of everlasting Life and Glory As for those who are so perverse as to despise all Counsel and Advice who refuse to hearken to any Instructions who are resolved to go on in their stubbornness and disobedience to their Parents in slighting and vilifying them let them remember what the Wise Man saith Eccles 11.9 Rejoice O young Man in thy Youth and let thine heart chear thee in the days of thy youth and walk in the ways of thine heart and in the sight of thine Eyes But know thou that for all these things God will bring thee into Judgment A DISCOURSE About the RIGHT WAY Of Improving our TIME By a Divine of the Church of England LONDON Printed for S. Lowndes over against Exeter Exchange in the