and murmur'd at thy Providence been discontent in my Condition and complain'd of thy Dealings towards me 'T is true O my God that thou of thine infinite goodness hast convinc'd my Conscience of sin affected my Soul with a sorrow for it and wrought in me Resolutions of amendment but oh how many have been my falls how many and grievous have been my Relapses how negligent have I been of the Covenant of my God! Oh how soon have the tears of my Repentance dried up how soon has the flame of my Devotion and Love slackened and even gone out O God thou holy God thou Witness of all my actions and Judge of all my thoughts and affections what would become of me if thou shouldest enter into strict Judgment with me how should I stand before thy Tribunal cover'd with the guilt and shame of so many sins But O thou God of Mercy O thou God and Father of my Lord Jesus Christ I know that thou art always ready to pardon poor Penitents Lord I repent increase thou my Repentance trouble has taken hold of me my Soul is cast down and disquieted within me I am asham'd yea even confounded for I do bear the Reproach of the folly and ingratitude of my sins O be thou reconciled to me pardon me I beseech thee by the Merits and Intercession by the Agony and Passion and by all the painful Sufferings of thy Son pardon me O pardon me I beseech thee by thine own boundless goodness by those tender Mercies and Compassion which thou art wont to exercise towards Repenting sinners And Lord not only pardon my sins but deliver me I beseech thee from the Dominion and Power of 'em O assist me to break off those Chains of carnal Lusts and worldly Cares in which I have been held bound I have a false deceitful heart O give me Sincerity and Truth have a sluggish and drowsie body O enkindle in me fervency of spirit I am conscious to my self of great weakness and fraily O do thou confirm and strengthen me who alone canst make me a clean heart O O God and renew a right spirit within me give me a true Faith and enflame my heart with a holy Love that I may delight my self in thy Commandments that I may walk before thee in uprightness and fear diligently seeking thee constantly depending upon thee chearfully submitting to thy Will and doing the Duty of my place in singleness of heart as knowing that I shall be accountable to thee as well for those Duties which I owe Man as for those which are more immediately to be paid to thee O Lord keep me that my foot stray not out of the path of Justice O Lord keep me that I offend not with my Tongue and after I have done all O Lord suffer me not to fall short of my Reward through my pride or ingratitude but make me always thankful always humble neither defrauding thee of the Praise due to thine infinite Bounty and Mercy nor Man of the Thanks due to him for any act of kindness or charity towards me help me O my God to walk thus that my Soul may enjoy a true Liberty that my Life may be full of comfort my Death of peace and my Eternity of glory through Jesus Christ our Lord. And O my God bless not me only but this whole Family thou that art the God of Love the God of Peace sow in all our hearts the seeds of unfeigned Charity that we may all enjoy the comfort of a mutual Affection and of a mutual Assistance and Aid in our several places and Lord possess every Soul of this Family with a just sense of our Duty towards God and Man that all of us may be living Members of thy blessed Son and being protected by thy Providence directed by thy Word and assisted by the Influence of thy Spirit we may all at last meet in the Family of Heaven where we shall adore and praise thee love and enjoy thee to all Eternity through Jesus Christ our Lord. A Prayer for the Evening O My God my Strength and the Rock of my Salvation the Day is past and the Evening is come O give me grace to remember that this Life will one time be past and Death will come that I may live so that my work may be then finisht as 't is this day and I may have nothing else to do but go to my Rest where I shall be invested with Liberty and Glory Eternal Eternal O blessed Wages of a short Lifes service how does my Soul praise thee O Lord in Transports and even Extasies thou hast called me indeed to be a Servant but thou hast called me too to be a Son thou hast not indeed given me any great portion of the Wealth or Honour of this Life but thou hast given me the blessed Jesus to be my Redeemer and thy holy Spirit to be my Sanctifier O do but ever continue thus to me the Light of thy Countenance thy Grace and thy Truth and I shall never think my self to stand in need of any thing that the World admires but O my God how often are these my Comforts abated nay even interrupted how often is this blessed this chearful Light obscur'd and orecast by my infirmities and sins my sins the only causes that keep good things from me my sins the only real troubles of my Life Thus O my God though I renew'd my Covenant with thee but this morning though I devoted my self to thee vowing Obedience to thee and faithfulness to my Master yet have I prevaricated my Duty here mention the Errours and Infirmities of the day past have mercy upon me O Lord have mercy upon me and forgive me these and all other my offences and give me grace to keep my self upon my watch and guard against them Enable me sincerely to endeavour to repair and reform 'em as much as in me lies that I may every day grow and increase in goodness and be so much the fiter for Death the nearer I do every day approach to it and whenever it comes let it find me O Lord with my Loyns girt and my Lamp burning in a disposition and frame of spirit fit to die possessed with an unshaken Faith with an humble Resignation and Submission of Mind with a holy Contempt of Earth and a devout Love of Heaven In the mean time thou keeper of Israel thou who never slumbrest nor sleepest watch over me and this whole Family protecting and delivering us in our coming in and going out particularly let thine Angels pitch their Tents about us this night let us lie down securely and let our sleep be sweet to us for thou Lord shalt make us dwell in safety Amen Amen Blessed Jesus If any one expects from me Directions here for Mental or Extemporary Prayers I must tell 'em freely that little less than a Volume much bigger than I purpose this is sufficient for such an undertaking What I have to say in a word here
will one day be Make me O Lord remember that I am always in thy sight and that thou dost ponder all my Paths that I may be fully convinc'd that both my Temporal and Eternal Interest depends upon the Conscientious performance of my Duty that so I may not be seduc'd or discourag'd by any Temptations whatever but still looking up to God and having regard to the recompence of Reward I may run with patience the Race that is set before me Amen Blessed Jesus So be it PART III. The Necessity of Communicating Concerning the Sacraments of the Lords Supper there are two things which Servants are to be Instructed in First Their Obligation to Receive it as often as they can have an opportunity Secondly What Preparation is necessary to it CHAP. I. The Servants Obligation to Receive the Sacrament General Obligations THE Obligations to Commemorate the Death of our blessed Lord which arise from the consideration of his great Love in dying for us and the great benefits we are made partakers of in that Holy Communion and from the need we stand in of the Grace and Mercy that is conveyed and sealed to us in this Sacrament these and such like are Universal Obligations and equally concern all Mankind the Servant as well as the Master the Poor as well as the Rich for the Son of God has died for all alike Mercy to pardon us and Grace to assist us is tender'd to all alike and all do alike stand in need of both And of this sort of Obligation is the command of Christ and the practice of the Primitive Church and the nature of the Duty as 't is the renewing of our Covenant all these do oblige all Men alike to frequent Communion for no sort of Men were excepted in the command of our Saviour no Rank of Men were excluded in the practice of the Church and since 't is a publick owning of our Covenant it seems to me that it cannot be utterly neglected much less contemn'd without Relinquishing the Communion of Saints Renouncing the Faith and falling almost into the guilt of open Apostacy All these Arguments and Motives to the frequent use of the Sacrament do as strongly bind and forcibly press Servants as any other sort of People whatever Obligations peculiar to Servants But besides these there are some considerations which may more peculiarly concern Servants than others and which seem to render the neglect of this Duty more inexcusable in them than in any others As First As they enjoy not the pleasures which Men of plentiful Fortunes do so neither are they distracted by the cares which Masters of Families may reasonably be supposed to be Nor are they engag'd in so many contentions as the many designs and interests of their Superiours do necessarily expose them to they live if it be not their own fault by constant Rules they have all the advantages of retirement in the midst of the World lying under no pressing Temptation either to care or contest or sensuality So that unless they be extreamly careless of their Souls unless they be extreamly insensible of the love of Jesus they must live in an habitual preparation for the Sacrament or at least they can have no tolerable excuse for the neglect of it It deserves well to be further consider'd that the great stress of business which lies upon many Masters of Families in their Trades and Imployments lies not alike upon them or if it do it may indispose and incapacitate the Master for the Communion and yet not the Servant 'T is the Masters choice but the Servants necessity that puts him upon it 't is often the Masters Ambition and Covetousness but 't is the Servants Obedience and Faithfulness that engages him so that the weight of business which may be the Masters fault is the Servants Duty and therefore tho' it keep the one it must not the other from the Sacrament for 't is impossible that any one should be made unfit for the Communion by doing his Duty 'T is true to advance a little further that the love of Jesus in dying for us was equal towards all for all were subject to the punishment of sin but if there were any difference the obligation would be greater on the poor and mean in one respect than on the rich Because such do need the support and comfort which they derive from this Blood not only to uphold 'em against the terrour of another Life but also under the troubles of this and certainly the more low and mean any mans State in this present World is the more unpardonable in him is the love of this Life or the neglect of another for the less pleasure we enjoy from without the more natural is it to seek the pleasures of Religion the pleasures of Faith the pleasures of the mind from all which it necessarily follows that a Servants coldness towards his blessed Lord and Master has something less of excuse in it than any other Mans For in what Heart shall the blessed Jesus find an Entertainment in what Soul shall he find place to dwell unless in that which has no Temptation to love the World Where should the love of Heaven the love of Jesus and the love of Virtue take deeper Root than in that Heart which hath rationally no Foundation no place to raise any other hopes on that are considerable Where might our dear Lord expect sooner to be receiv'd with open Arms and the whole Heart than by these who have no other Friend no other Patron to trust to According to this discourse this was the success the real issue of things in the first times The Poor had the Gospel Preach't unto 'em that 〈◊〉 these generally speaking were the only Men which were affected and wrought upon by the Preaching of the Gospel But now ah now The times are inverted the Servant and the mean Man appears as much more stupid and negligent in the things of another Life as he has less share than others in this they seem to be sunk as much beneath the Virtue as Fortune of their Superiours and being freed from the Cares and Emulations from the Ambition and Designs of those above 'em their Souls seem to be grown so unactive so thoughtless so dark that they carry not one Meditation beyond the works of their hands like him in Ecclesiasticus * Chap. 38.25 How can he get wisdom that holdeth the plough and that glorieth in the goad that driveth Oxen and is occupied in their Labours and whose talk is of Bullocks For shame shew your selves men and convince us that you have Rational and Immortal Souls let me intreat you consider how great a dignity you are advanced to how great an honour you are vouchsafed by God in being invited by him to this feast you do here more nearly approach God you are feasted and entertain'd by him as his Children you are united in the closest Ties and Bonds with your dear Lord and
attention and devout affection Enter into the Church as into the House of God and the place of his more immediate Residence In hearing attend to the great End that is that thou mayest grow thereby that some Infirmity may be cured some Virtue improv'd some fresh Resolution form'd and in a word thy Soul rais'd into a more heavenly and holy frame being return'd home as soon as thou canst find an opportunity bless God that he has spoke to thy Soul that he has affected thee by his Word and his Spirit and endeavour by a solemn Review and Consideration of those things by which thou wast most affected to fix 'em better in thy memory I should have said in thy heart and then lay all thy Desires and Resolutions in devout Prayers before God and earnestly beg and depend upon his goodness for the obtaining the one and his grace for the performing the other In the evening the last thing thou dost call thy self to an account look back on every part of the day examine thy behaviour bewail thy defects bless God for all thy spiritual Advantages of the day and thou shalt find unspeakable comfort and peace thy delight in spiritual things will encrease and thy hopes will grow up thou wilt begin to relish and anticipate the joys and long for the possession of Heaven The Duty of Prayer Another Duty we owe to God is Prayer concerning which a Servant is to observe these three or four things First you must endeavour to awaken a steady Devotion in your heart by imprinting in it a holy Reverence and awful Dread of the Divine Majesty by these or the like thoughts O God thou art the Eternal God the Almighty Lord of Heaven and Earth all things are upheld by thy Power and filled by thy Goodness at thy Rebuke the foundations of the Earth will tremble and the Heavens at the Voice of thy displeasure all the Nations upon Earth are but as the Drop of the Bucket and the Grain of the Ballance before thee Oh what then am I a poor despicable sinful and extremely small part of ' em O suffer me not to forget thy Majesty suffer me not to forget my self Or thus O just and holy God thou art the Creator and Redeemer thou art the Judge of all Mankind thou art the Searcher of the Heart and Trier of the Reins O suffer me not to be cold or careless much less hypocritical in my Addresses to thee for not only * Eccl. 16.11 mercy but wrath is with thee and as thou art mighty to forgive so art thou too to pour out displeasure O suffer me not therefore rudely and inconsiderately to stretch forth my hands towards thine Ark the place where thine Honour dwelleth lest I be smitten like Uzzah and perish in my folly Or thus O Lord thou art MY God by thee have I been holden up ever since I was born thou art my God and I will praise thee I will love thee O Lord my God for thou hast redeem'd me O Lord thou God of Truth thou Rock of my Salvation my Soul thirsteth after thee open thou my mouth that I may praise thee in the joys and transports of my Soul enflame my heart that I may cleave to thee by the Embraces of Love that I may wrestle with thee by unfeigned Faith and devout Desire and not let thee go till I have obtain'd a Blessing for still I have many Infirmities that will separate between thee and me O let me never be divided from thee Lord save me or I perish Secondly See that thou do nothing that is repugnant to thy Prayers for 't is in vain to beg of God that which thou deniest thy self nay 't is extreme Hypocrisie to importune God for that Grace which thou dost manifestly resist or incapacitate thy self for by thy actions if God or his Prophet bid thee wash and be clean 't is mere presumption to expect the Cure of thy Leprosie without the use of the means prescrib'd Thirdly Mark the Issue and Return of thy Prayers that thou mayest be thankful as thou hast been importunate for a Blessing or if thou receive it not that thou mayest correct and reform what is amiss it may be thy Prayer wants Sincerity or it wants Faith or there is a Babylonish Garment and a Wedge of Gold hid in thy Tent some darling Lust conceal'd in thy bosom or thy Petition it self is a foolish Lust or wanton Passion and 't is well if it bring not down a Curse instead of a Blessing As to your Prayer I think it matters not much whether it be a form or a sudden Effusion provided it have in it a steady Faith and humble Devotion which is the Life and Soul of Prayer But as far as I am able to see good forms fitted to their necessities are most useful for Servants because mental Prayer e're it can be such as it ought requires good ability solemn preparation or at least an habitual exaltation of mind and takes up much time Particular Forms suited to particular occasions I have endeavour'd to provide in this Treatise for general ones Morning and Evening you may use these which follow A Prayer for the Morning O Lord my God thou hast preserv'd me this night which might have been my last and for this my Soul blesses thee Thou hast given me another day O give me Grace too to spend it so as if it were to be my last O let it not increase my guilt and the number of my sins but enable me to work in it the work for which thou hast sent me into the World for the night cometh wherein I cannot work The number of my sins is great enough already they would sink my Soul down to Hell if the blessed Jesus had not loved me and given himself for me and if thy Mercy were not as thy Majesty that is Infinite for I have forgotten thee too too often though thou hast given me my Being and hast provided for me when there was none other to help me I have forgotten thee though thou gavest me thine own Son to redeem me not only to free me from the punishment due to my sins but also to procure for me Life Eternal I have fear'd the displeasure of man whose breath is in his Nostrils more than I have fear'd thine O thou just and holy Judge of Mankind I have been more solicitous for the Bread that perishes than for thy Favour which is better than the Life it self and oh well were it for me if I had only omitted my Duty towards thee or perform'd it lifelesly or sluggishly but woe is me I have despis'd thy Goodness and Long-suffering I have harden'd my heart against thy Commandments I have dealt proudly and presumptuously and have done wickedly here mention those sins which most burden thy Conscience if thou hast any such and particularly those of thy Service and yet after all this vain and sensless Creature that I am I have repin'd
Master the Peace and Virtue of the Family and my own both Temporal and Eternal Happiness I know O Lord that no acts of injustice or unfaithfulness between Man and Man shall go unpunish'd I know that for these things sake the wrath of God is reveal'd from Heaven O what then must be my punishment if I heap upon the guilt of injustice and uncharitableness many others namely of Ingratitude Unfaithfulness Lying Perjury O preserve me therefore O my God from all falshood and wrong and suffer me not to forfeit thy favour and destroy my Soul for the sake of those things that perish O let me be fully convinced that the ways of Righteousness are ways of Pleasantness and that all her paths are Prosperity and Peace that so I may delight my self in the Law of my God and may find comfort and a blessing in the discharge of my Duty Teach me O Lord Humility and Obedience Faith and Truth Care and Industry Charity and Meekness that I may adorn the Doctrine of God my Saviour win others over to a love of Virtue and after an humble and contented tho' laborious life here may enter into Rest and Glory hereafter through Jesus Christ our Lord. A Prayer for Obedience O Glorious and Eternal Lord God who dwellest with those who are of a meek and lowly Spirit behold me I beseech thee and pour into my Heart that Virtue of Humility which is so highly esteemed by thee O Lord my Heart is too too apt to be filled with Pride and Vanity O do thou convince me every day more and more of my own vileness and worthlesness that I may be preserved from self-conceit and wilfulness O give me Grace often to consider the Humility of my Lord and Saviour that I may learn of him and obtain the peace which flows from a meek Spirit and Humble Obedience And O my God because I am to give an account to thee who art the searcher of the Heart and the tryer of the Reins the Judge of my most secret Thoughts as well as my most secret Actions teach me therefore to do my Duty chearfully and in singleness of Heart make me to abominate all Lying shifts and pretences as well as all proud wilfulness and sluggishness Make me careful to learn my Duty sincere in the performance of it patient under reproof and diligent in reforming whatever is amiss thus O my God whilst every part of my Duty towards Man shall prove an instance of my Obedience towards thee I shall enjoy the peace of a good Conscience and the hopes of an Eternal Reward Hear me and answer me O Lord for thy Mercies sake and thy Son Jesus Christs Sake A Prayer for Faithfulness O God thou God of Truth Right and Just art thou and there is no iniquity with thee fill my Heart I beseech thee with the love of Truth and Faithfulness make me true in all my words and upright in all my deeds O teach me to take heed to my ways that I offend not with my Tongue teach me to keep my Mouth as it were with a Bridle while the ungodly are in my sight O make me to abhor the sin of Unfaithfulness and let no such cleave unto me Let no slander or detraction no mischievous accusations proceed out of my Mouth nor suffer me ever to stretch forth my hand to iniquity O let me not fall through Covetousness or Distrust in God and let me never commit injustice to maintain my Pride or Riot or Idleness adding sin to sin If sinners entice me suffer me not to consent to 'em permit me not to have any Fellowship with the Unfruitful Works of Darkness but give me courage and discretion to reprove 'em that so my Righteousness may be as the Noon-day and thou mayest make me to prosper in the Land and I may at last obtain the Blessing Well done good and faithful Servant enter thou into thy Masters Joy Amen Amen Blessed Jesus A Prayer for Love O Thou God who art Love give me thy Grace that I may practise more abundantly that Charity which I owe all Mankind towards those of the same Family give me a grateful sense of the benefits which I enjoy under this Roof of the care and kindness of my Master towards me in providing for me both spiritual and bodily Food that so I may make returns to him in the Fruit of Love Obedience and Faithfulness Lord let his interest and his honour let his quiet and content be dear to me as my own that I may not only serve him with Justice but Zeal too And O my God diffuse the gift of Charity through the Hearts of this whole Family that we may all live in Godly love and peace together that our Prayers be not hindred nor we kept back from thy Holy Table or approach it unworthily But that we all enjoy thee our God in the beauty of Holiness enjoy one another in the beauty of Charity and enjoy those Temporal Blessings which thou hast richly bestow'd upon us in the beauty of order and virtue and and all things may finally and uniformly tend to thy Glory and our Comfort through Jesus Christ our Lord. CHAP. III. Of the Duty of Servants § 1st Towards their Masters Children consisting of Affection due Respect Care of their Morals Care of their Honour and Care of their Interest § 2dly Towards Sojourners § 3dly Towards Strangers What the Servant owes his Masters Children WHatever it be that Servants owe the Children of the Family 't is only the result of that Duty which they owe their Master Children are as it were parts of their Parents their Blood and Birth gives 'em a just claim as to the care and love of their Parents so to a proper share of th' Affection and Service and all other advantages of the Family First Therefore a Servant owes the Children of his Master a sincere Affection Affection which will easily be granted if it be but consider'd that 't is impossible for a Servant to bear Faith and Love to his Master and have neither for his Children for Children are the dearest interest and most valuable Treasure of their Parents Children are the joys and hopes of their Fathers they double the pleasure of his prosperity by being sharers in it and ease the toil of his labours by being the Heirs of ' em How therefore can any one pretend to love his Master who hates or despises what is dearest to him Now this affection of the Servant must express it self towards his Masters Children 1st In a due Respect 2dly In his care for their Morals 3dly In a sincere Zeal for their Honour and 4dly For their Interest 1st In Respect Due Respect This their birth Challenges every slight or neglect offer'd the Children by a Servant is some diminution of the Reverence which he owes his Master for the Father must needs suffer in the contempt of the Son and yet this Respect ought to be wisely regulated for
application of your mind runs upon the World this is a State to be repented of and you must enter upon resolutions of greater care and watchfulness and fervency and having done this you may proceed to the Sacrament without making so long a trial of your selves as in the former case because neither the Church nor your Neighbour can receive any scandal thereby Now beside this part of Examination consisting in an enquiry what sins you have been guilty of or now live in there is a second part of Examination consisting in this enquiry what good you have done what resemblance there is between your life and the life of Jesus your Spirit and the Spirit of Jesus for negative righteousness is not sufficient to make a man a good Christian and though it be true that we are not bound to the highest perfection under pain of damnation yet the love of God the love of Jesus and the hopes of eternal glory do all oblige us to aim at it and therefore we ought to bemoan our non-proficiency barreness and unprofitableness I mean not absolutely such but comparatively with respect to what we should attain to And that you may do this aright demand of your selves what requital have we made our Parents What assistance have we afforded them since God has blessed us What share of what God has prosper'd us with have we given to the poor the hungry and the naked What service have we done for the comfort and support of any that have been any ways distressed After this read with a sober devotion the Beatitudes Mat. 5. and examine the state of your Souls by 'em thus am I poor in Spirit contented in the lowest state resign'd up to God both as to my undderstanding and my will filled with humble thoughts of my own endowments both natural and moral do I mourn under the sense of my past sins and my present defects and infirmities Do I weep in secrets for the sins of my people for the Desolations and Divisions of the Church of Christ for the infidelity of Jew and Gentile and in general for the dishonour God's name suffers in the World Am I of a meek and quiet Spirit peaceable and slow to anger full of humility and reverence towards all but especially my Governours and Masters studying to do my own business and to live quietly in my Station Do I hunger and thirst after righteousnes Is my Soul inflamed with a desire of saying knowledge Do I delight in the meditation of Heavenly truths Am I ravish't with the Loveliness and Beauty of works truly great and truly Christian Am I merciful do I delight to imitate my heavenly Father as far as I am able being bountiful to the needy compassionate to the distressed long suffering towards the offender gentle and easily intreated carefully studying and resolv'dly pursuing the good of all even of mine Enemies and such whose either Ingratitude to me or their aversion to their own good renders the work much more difficult Am I pure in heart Is the World crucified to me Do I account all things but dung and dross in comparison of the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord Do I love my God and love my Jesus even to a thirst after a dissolution that putting off the body I may enjoy 'em in Heaven Do I in the singleness and simplicity of my heart pursue the honour of God without regard to any by-interest or corrupt affection Am I a peace-maker content to purchase it for my self or promote it amongst others by any travail or pains and by very great disadvantages to my self Do I pursue peace in the Church of Christ in the State in the Neighbour hood in the Family in my narrow capacity withal imaginable zeal Lastly Am I willing if the will of God so be to part with all and follow Christ to undergo not only reproach and contempt but if need be the spoil of all I have nay Stripes Imprisonment and Death it self These are the heights you are to labour after and though you may fall very short of 'em this Examination will serve to encrease your humility to make you more importunate for the assistance of God and more desirous of being strengthen'd and refresh't by the Holy Sacrament nay it will excite and quicken your graces in you for there is a loveliness in Virtue and therefore the oftner you seriously behold it the more you 'l be enamour'd of it When you have discover'd by this Examination the state of your Souls then proceed to bewail 'em before God thus These and many more which I cannot recollect are my sins O thou Judge of the World and these have all been repeated from time to time so that they now are grown formidable to me for their very number yet besides this how provoking are the aggravations of them that I should sin thus in defiance of the brightest revelation of thy will in contempt of thy long suffering patience and goodness in contempt of thy astonishing love manifested in my redemption by the blood of Jesus in defiance of thy great and precious promises and of all the calls of thy Spirit and of thy Providence nay O my God I have trampled under foot all my most solemn engagements and returned to the commission of sin in contempt even of my repentance my vows and resolutions and canst thou have mercy upon such a wretch as I am I know I have most justly provok't thy wrath and indignation against me my sins are gone over my head as a thick cloud they are a sore burthen too heavy for me to to bear they are more in number than the hairs of my head and my heart has fail'd me but O Lord God I do earnestly repent and am heartily sorry for these my misdoings the remembrance of 'em is grievous to me the burden of 'em is intolerable I am ashamed yea even confounded under the sense of my folly and ingratitude I have consider'd thy terrour and fearfulness and trembling has taken hold upon me I have consider'd thy tender mercies and my Soul is wounded within me for having so falsly and unworthily forsaken and offended thee I have consider'd the humiliation and the sufferings of my blessed Saviour and my Soul suffers an Agony of love and shame with in me for what I have done against my dear Lord. I have consider'd the Beauty of Holiness and I loath my self for the deformity and pollutions of my sins O therefore thou who dost delight to shew mercy to repenting Sinners thou God of love and mercy have mercy upon me and O thou Lamb of God which didst shed thy blood for sinners have mercy upon me thou that takest away the sins of the World have mercy upon me and O my Heavenly Father deliver me not only from the guilt but from the power of my sin I tremble indeed at thy wrath and my soul faints within me when I think of being excluded forever from tny