evil_a but_o as_o he_o be_v israel_n so_o his_o day_n be_v many_o and_o good_a he_o have_v two_o name_n jacob_n and_o israel_n genesis_n 49.1_o 2._o both_o give_v he_o from_o his_o wrestle_a the_o farmer_n name_n be_v give_v he_o for_o wrestle_v with_o his_o brother_n for_o the_o birthright_n in_o the_o womb_n wherein_o he_o miscarry_v but_o the_o latter_a for_o his_o wrestle_a with_o his_o god_n for_o the_o blessing_n at_o penuel_n wherein_o his_o valour_n through_o divine_a condescension_n obtain_v the_o victory_n when_o the_o messiah_n see_v jacob_n undaunted_a courage_n in_o resolute_o detain_v he_o ask_v he_o his_o name_n gen._n 32.24_o 26_o 27._o as_o if_o he_o shall_v say_v thou_o be_v such_o a_o fellow_n as_o i_o never_o meet_v with_o who_o though_o thou_o be_v lame_v and_o lay_v hard_o at_o yet_o will_v not_o let_v i_o go_v without_o my_o blessing_n thou_o have_v let_v thy_o flock_n go_v and_o thy_o herd_n go_v thou_o have_v let_v thy_o wife_n go_v and_o thy_o child_n go_v yet_o thou_o will_v not_o let_v i_o go_v nor_o my_o blessing_n go_v i_o will_v not_o let_v thou_o go_v except_o thou_o bless_v i_o say_v jacob_n v._o 26._o hereupon_o he_o honour_n he_o as_o it_o be_v with_o the_o honour_n of_o knighthood_n say_v to_o he_o kneel_v down_n jacob_n rise_v up_o israel_n for_o as_o a_o prince_n thou_o have_v have_v power_n with_o god_n and_o with_o man_n and_o have_v prevail_v gen._n 32.28_o hos_fw-la 12.3_o 4._o now_o jacob_n be_v a_o name_n of_o weakness_n the_o poor_a worm_n jacob_n isa_n 41.14_o trample_v upon_o and_o tread_v under_o foot_n this_o afflict_a state_n make_v jacob_n sigh_v out_o those_o sad_a word_n all_o these_o thing_n be_v against_o i_o gen._n 42.36_o and_o those_o of_o my_o text_n also_o few_n and_o evil_n have_v the_o day_n of_o the_o year_n of_o my_o life_n be_v but_o so_o far_o as_o he_o have_v princely_a power_n as_o israel_n signify_v both_o with_o god_n and_o with_o man_n in_o this_o sense_n his_o day_n be_v many_o and_o good_a one_o day_n with_o god_n be_v a_o thousand_o elsewhere_o use_v hence_o learn_v we_o the_o reason_n why_o the_o church_n be_v call_v jacob_n through_o out_o the_o scripture_n when_o speech_n be_v of_o her_o weakness_n and_o calamity_n but_o she_o be_v frequent_o call_v israel_n to_o signify_v her_o splendour_n and_o glory_n and_o as_o it_o be_v thus_o with_o the_o church_n of_o god_n in_o general_n so_o it_o be_v with_o the_o child_n of_o god_n in_o particular_a some_o time_n they_o be_v run_v down_o with_o strange_a temptation_n and_o with_o strong_a tribulation_n then_o be_v they_o the_o poor_a worm_n jocob_n isa_n 41.14_o the_o shulamite_n find_v two_o army_n warring_n in_o she_o the_o army_n of_o the_o flesh_n and_o the_o army_n of_o the_o spirit_n cant._n 6.13_o when_o the_o army_n of_o the_o flesh_n or_o amalek_n prevail_v as_o exod._n 17.11_o then_o the_o seed_n of_o jocob_n droop_v but_o when_o they_o be_v make_v strong_a in_o their_o weakness_n 2_o cor._n 12.9_o strengthen_v with_o all_o may_v col._n 1.11_o and_o make_v able_a through_o the_o supply_n of_o christ_n spirit_n phil._n 1.19_o to_o tread_v down_o strength_n as_o judg._n 5.21_o even_o the_o strong_a temptation_n without_o then_o be_v they_o call_v the_o israel_n of_o god_n gal._n 6.16_o for_o their_o princelike_a prevail_a over_o flesh_n world_n and_o devil_n iii_o observation_n from_o the_o circumstance_n of_o the_o text._n the_o three_o observation_n arise_v from_o the_o conjunction_n of_o these_o two_o part_n this_o question_n and_o the_o answer_n to_o it_o which_o be_v it_o be_v a_o duty_n incumbent_n upon_o all_o mankind_n to_o be_v ask_v and_o answer_v how_o the_o day_n of_o the_o year_n of_o their_o life_n do_v pass_v away_o it_o be_v moses_n prayer_n lord_n teach_v we_o to_o number_v our_o day_n that_o we_o may_v apply_v our_o heart_n unto_o wisdom_n psalâ—_n 90.12_o in_o which_o psalm_n it_o be_v â—_o meditation_n of_o man_n mortality_n correspond_v with_o my_o text_n therefore_o mark_v 1._o moses_n mention_n the_o brevity_n and_o uncertainty_n of_o man_n life_n compare_v it_o to_o a_o watch_n v._o 4._o which_o be_v but_o the_o four_o part_n of_o a_o night_n mark_n 13.35_o then_o he_o go_v on_o and_o compare_v it_o to_o a_o sleep_n to_o a_o dream_n all_o vanish_v thing_n and_o to_o a_o tale_n that_o be_v soon_o tell_v and_o be_v as_o soon_o forget_v last_o to_o grass_n which_o we_o well_o know_v if_o it_o be_v not_o cut_v down_o in_o summer_n or_o autumn_n do_v wither_v in_o winter_n so_o such_o mortal_n as_o be_v not_o cut_v down_o with_o the_o scythe_n of_o death_n in_o their_o youth_n do_v yet_o wither_v away_o in_o the_o winter_n of_o old_a age._n quid_fw-la est_fw-la vita_fw-la nisi_fw-la quidam_fw-la cursus_fw-la ad_fw-la mortem_fw-la say_v the_o ancient_a father_n life_n be_v nothing_o but_o a_o post_v to_o death_n the_o second_o occurrence_n in_o this_o meditation_n of_o moses_n upon_o man_n morality_n be_v his_o assign_v the_o proper_a procure_a cause_n of_o this_o humane_a misery_n to_o wit_n divine_a displeasure_n â—gainst_a sin_n which_o cause_v god_n to_o â—urn_v man_n to_o destruction_n ver_fw-la 7_o 8._o man_n at_o the_o first_o be_v make_v immortal_a he_o have_v then_o a_o immortal_a body_n a_o suitable_a companion_n for_o his_o immortal_a soul_n these_o two_o sweet_a associate_n have_v never_o be_v sever_v each_o from_o other_o if_o man_n have_v not_o sin_v against_o his_o maker_n have_v adam_n stand_v on_o his_o state_n of_o innocency_n he_o shall_v then_o have_v render_v to_o the_o lord_n a_o time_n of_o perfect_a obedience_n and_o service_n here_o upon_o earth_n and_o when_o that_o homage_n to_o his_o great_a landlord_n have_v be_v accomplish_v he_o shall_v then_o have_v be_v translate_v from_o earth_n without_o the_o least_o taste_n of_o death_n to_o heaven_n the_o soul_n shall_v never_o have_v be_v separate_v from_o the_o body_n as_o now_o it_o be_v for_o the_o wage_n of_o sin_n be_v death_n rom._n 6.23_o it_o be_v that_o one_o man_n offence_n that_o pull_v up_o the_o sluice_n and_o let_v in_o death_n as_o a_o deluge_n with_o a_o regal_a authority_n over_o all_o the_o world_n rom._n 5.14_o to_o 17._o and_o sin_n do_v not_o only_o let_v in_o death_n but_o also_o all_o sort_n of_o sickness_n sorrow_n and_o suffering_n that_o be_v forerunner_n of_o it_o then_o 3_o moses_n condemn_v man_n dulness_n in_o take_v no_o more_o notice_n of_o this_o divine_a displeasure_n ver_fw-la 11._o all_o other_o creature_n know_v their_o time_n and_o their_o season_n jerem._n 8.7_o but_o man_n know_v not_o the_o day_n of_o his_o visitation_n till_o he_o come_v to_o be_v snare_v in_o a_o evil_a net_n etc._n etc._n eccles_n 9.12_o though_o man_n life_n be_v a_o life_n full_a of_o all_o inconvenience_n of_o indignity_n of_o injury_n of_o infirmity_n and_o of_o iniquity_n also_o yet_o such_o be_v the_o stupidity_n of_o the_o fall_v nature_n that_o man_n put_v the_o thought_n of_o these_o thing_n far_o from_o he_o amos_n 6.3_o four_o hereupon_o moses_n beg_v god_n for_o illuminate_v grace_n wherewith_o to_o make_v a_o more_o distinct_a discovery_n of_o all_o humane_a frailty_n lord_n teach_v which_o to_o number_v our_o day_n etc._n etc._n ver_fw-la 12._o and_o the_o sweet-singer_n of_o israel_n david_n will_v be_v of_o the_o same_o chorus_n with_o moses_n sigh_v as_o well_o as_o sing_v out_o these_o synonimical_a sentence_n lord_n make_v i_o â—o_o know_v my_o end_n and_o the_o measure_n of_o my_o day_n what_o it_o be_v that_o i_o may_v know_v how_o frail_a i_o be_o etc._n etc._n psal_n 39.4_o 5._o thus_o likewise_o jacob_n in_o my_o text_n carry_v on_o the_o like_a concord_n and_o consort_n to_o complete_a the_o harmony_n complain_v here_o few_n and_o evil_a have_v the_o day_n of_o the_o year_n of_o my_o life_n be_v etc._n etc._n add_v only_o this_o one_o note_n of_o discord_n for_o make_v better_a music_n that_o god_n have_v teach_v he_o this_o great_a truth_n concern_v his_o own_o frailty_n he_o have_v see_v it_o for_o time_n past_a and_o he_o will_v be_v sensible_a of_o it_o for_o time_n to_o come_v his_o day_n have_v be_v few_o and_o evil_a now_o they_o may_v be_v few_o and_o worse_o see_v he_o and_o all_o his_o be_v famish_v out_o of_o canaan_n the_o land_n of_o promise_n into_o egypt_n the_o place_n where_o his_o posterity_n will_v be_v evil_o entreat_v gen._n 15.13_o use_v moses_n teach_v we_o what_o use_n to_o make_v of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o our_o own_o frailty_n it_o shall_v strong_o stir_v we_o up_o to_o a_o earnest_n implore_v of_o divine_a mercy_n he_o make_v a_o loud_a out_o cry_v after_o mercy_n cry_v return_v o_fw-la lord_n how_o long_o etc._n etc._n oh_o satisfy_v we_o early_o with_o thy_o mercy_n
what_o we_o come_v for_o i_o go_v to_o he_o and_o tell_v he_o methinks_v that_o my_o soul_n love_v he_o and_o i_o be_v come_v to_o meet_v he_o for_o strength_n against_o corruption_n and_o by_o his_o help_n i_o can_v forsake_v the_o world_n and_o sin_n which_o i_o hate_v to_o enjoy_v he_o etc._n etc._n then_o he_o tell_v i_o my_o pride_n shall_v not_o prevail_v against_o i_o this_o month_n nor_o my_o other_o sin_n but_o by_o own_o neglect_n this_o be_v sweet_a and_o refresh_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o this_o be_v the_o occasion_n of_o the_o devil_n great_a rage_n against_o i_o as_o appear_v by_o my_o diary_n march_v 14._o yet_o can_v he_o not_o prevail_v but_o christ_n keep_v his_o promise_n in_o keep_v i_o from_o pride_n etc._n etc._n oh_o what_o cause_n have_v i_o to_o love_v the_o lord_n jesus_n who_o i_o see_v here_o again_o come_v from_o heaven_n to_o earth_n to_o the_o cross_n to_o the_o grave_a and_o to_o heaven_n again_o and_o all_o this_o to_o save_v my_o soul_n here_o sin_n be_v make_v more_o odious_a christ_n more_o dear_a and_o here_o i_o renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o god_n etc._n etc._n the_o nine_o sacrament_n be_v april_n the_o second_o 1682._o upon_o which_o he_o say_v thus_o some_o time_n before_o this_o i_o be_v in_o a_o dull_a frame_n by_o the_o hurry_v of_o our_o trade_n at_o this_o time_n as_o may_v be_v see_v by_o my_o diary_n little_a life_n can_v i_o find_v till_o the_o noon_n before_o that_o day_n than_o have_v i_o the_o presence_n of_o my_o dear_a lord_n in_o a_o lively_a manner_n and_o measure_n after_o this_o wander_a thought_n dulness_n and_o coldness_n unsuitable_a to_o so_o sweet_a a_o supper_n seize_v upon_o i_o but_o by_o run_v over_o again_o the_o same_o circumstance_n of_o my_o saviour_n suffering_n especial_o his_o agony_n in_o the_o garden_n and_o all_o for_o such_o a_o wretch_n as_o i_o i_o find_v relief_n get_v hatred_n of_o my_o sin_n beg_v pardon_n of_o they_o and_o not_o only_o so_o but_o get_v power_n against_o they_o yet_o wander_a thought_n 4_o or_o 5_o time_n do_v trouble_v i_o but_o by_o christ_n strengthen_v i_o i_o overcome_v they_o and_o hope_v to_o have_v my_o pardon_n seal_v and_o to_o have_v power_n for_o the_o future_a for_o watch_v better_a against_o they_o and_o against_o my_o deadness_n and_o break_v my_o covenant_n etc._n etc._n which_o make_v i_o long_o to_o quit_v the_o world_n whereupon_o it_o be_v answer_v i_o i_o shall_v short_o be_v free_v from_o all_o sin_n yet_o in_o this_o sacrament_n i_o have_v the_o least_o communion_n with_o god_n than_o in_o any_o before_o but_o still_o much_o more_o infinite_o more_o than_o i_o deserve_v who_o sure_a i_o be_o deserve_v not_o the_o least_o mercy_n the_o ten_o sacrament_n be_v may_n 7._o 1682._o upon_o which_o he_o write_v thus_o i_o have_v not_o long_a desire_n after_o this_o bless_a ordinance_n have_v lose_v much_o of_o my_o life_n i_o have_v in_o duty_n before_o through_o much_o hurry_v of_o our_o worldly_a affair_n this_o morning_n i_o wrestle_v with_o god_n but_o have_v not_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n which_o make_v i_o think_v of_o not_o go_v yet_o consider_v that_o be_v not_o the_o way_n to_o be_v better_a i_o venture_v but_o find_v no_o life_n at_o first_o yet_o a_o little_a after_o i_o feel_v some_o reach_v after_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n this_o make_v i_o resolve_v to_o walk_v more_o close_o for_o the_o future_a after_o this_o it_o please_v god_n to_o come_v in_o out_o of_o his_o free_a love_n and_o to_o give_v i_o a_o clear_a sight_n of_o my_o sweet_a saviour_n go_v to_o his_o cross_n and_o i_o follow_v he_o and_o lay_v myself_o down_o at_o his_o foot_n when_o i_o can_v do_v nothing_o then_o have_v i_o plain_a vision_n of_o my_o lovely_a lord_n ascension_n and_o his_o angel_n look_v upon_o he_o whereat_o i_o find_v much_o go_n out_o of_o my_o soul_n after_o he_o yet_o wander_v thought_n do_v trouble_v i_o for_o i_o have_v not_o bring_v my_o break_a covenant_n my_o dulness_n and_o deadness_n before_o the_o lord_n so_o as_o to_o be_v deep_o humble_v for_o they_o the_o eleven_o sacrament_n be_v june_n 4_o 1682._o upon_o which_o he_o he_o remark_n thus_o i_o have_v no_o time_n be_v very_o bad_a in_o my_o preparation_n for_o this_o bless_a sacrament_n so_o doubt_v whether_o i_o shall_v go_v to_o it_o but_o fear_v it_o may_v be_v the_o last_o i_o shall_v enjoy_v in_o peace_n i_o then_o go_v yet_o it_o prove_v the_o worst_a i_o ever_o yet_o have_v i_o hardly_o feel_v any_o moving_n of_o affection_n only_o a_o little_a mourning_n for_o my_o breach_n of_o covenant_n my_o coldness_n and_o deadness_n etc._n etc._n have_v a_o little_a sight_n of_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n but_o o_o my_o misery_n for_o not_o keep_v my_o engagement_n make_v in_o the_o forego_n ordinance_n whereby_o i_o fear_v the_o holy_a spirit_n be_v grieve_v and_o sin_v away_o o_o sad_a sad_a lamentable_a deplorable_a be_v my_o state_n when_o i_o have_v sin_v my_o god_n from_o i_o my_o condition_n be_v wretched_a now_o and_o without_o more_o care_n it_o may_v yet_o be_v much_o worse_o the_o twelve_o sacrament_n be_v on_o july_n second_o 1682._o whereupon_o he_o note_v thus_o i_o be_v but_o little_a in_o preparation_n in_o order_n to_o my_o participation_n of_o this_o holy_a ordinance_n yet_o much_o more_o than_o on_o the_o last_o on_o friday_n morning_n before_o i_o have_v much_o of_o god_n presence_n but_o because_o i_o have_v not_o take_v a_o catalogue_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o have_v break_v my_o vow_n with_o god_n it_o be_v just_a with_o he_o to_o hide_v his_o face_n from_o i_o and_z o_o my_o deadly_a sin_n get_v again_o too_o much_o advantage_n against_o i_o yet_o praise_v be_v the_o free_a grace_n of_o my_o god_n i_o have_v his_o presence_n in_o this_o ordinance_n and_o see_v my_o dear_a redeemer_n go_v along_o bear_v his_o heavy_a cross_n and_o his_o suffer_v thereupon_o and_o when_o his_o side_n be_v pierce_v methinks_v i_o stand_v under_o and_o his_o precious_a blood_n do_v drop_v down_o upon_o i_o but_o still_o i_o be_v too_o little_o grieve_v for_o sin_n and_o have_v 3._o time_n wander_n which_o through_o grace_n pass_v away_o as_o the_o wine_n go_v down_o i_o desire_v my_o sin_n may_v be_v purge_v away_o and_o renew_v my_o resolve_n of_o walk_v better_o both_o before_o and_o in_o this_o sacrament_n design_v to_o shelter_v my_o soul_n in_o the_o hole_n of_o his_o bless_a side_n that_o be_v pierce_v as_o the_o dove_n do_v in_o the_o hole_n of_o the_o rock_n the_o thirteen_o sacrament_n be_v august_n 6._o 1682._o on_o which_o he_o record_v thus_o the_o hurry_v of_o the_o world_n have_v make_v menegligent_a before_o it_o yet_o do_v i_o try_v myself_o by_o my_o catalogue_n of_o sin_n draw_v up_o in_o february_n before_o such_o as_o pride_n whereof_o i_o have_v a_o great_a deal_n breach_n of_o covenant_n whereof_o i_o be_v great_o guilty_a wander_n dullness_n in_o duty_n etc._n etc._n and_o then_o another_o great_a one_o the_o neglect_n of_o self_n trial_n after_o my_o vow_n &_o renew_a covenant_n to_o do_v it_o after_o sacrament_n wherein_o i_o have_v find_v much_o sweetness_n i_o can_v not_o still_o call_v myself_o to_o a_o strict_a account_n nor_o actuate_v my_o repentance_n as_o become_v a_o worthy_a receiver_n though_o my_o sin_n be_v many_o and_o great_a at_o my_o first_o sit_v down_o i_o have_v but_o little_a sense_n of_o sin_n but_o after_o god_n show_v i_o something_o of_o himself_o than_o have_v i_o some_o sorrow_n of_o soul_n and_o something_o of_o my_o dear_a lord_n but_o once_o god_n seem_v to_o come_v out_o in_o fury_n towards_o i_o yet_o methinks_v i_o see_v my_o dear_a redeemer_n stop_v it_o here_o again_o i_o lay_v under_o the_o cross_n to_o be_v wash_v from_o my_o sin_n and_o do_v see_v as_o before_o christ_n come_v from_o heaven_n to_o earth_n to_o hiâ—_n cross_n and_o to_o his_o grave_a and_o from_o thence_o into_o glory_n this_o i_o view_v with_o a_o little_a oh_o too_o little_a life_n than_o the_o devil_n tempt_v i_o to_o make_v no_o new_a engagement_n of_o reformation_n but_o the_o lord_n help_v i_o and_o i_o hearken_v not_o to_o the_o tempter_n about_o 4._o time_n wander_n come_v but_o through_o grace_n they_o continue_v not_o yet_o have_v i_o small_a act_n of_o love_n and_o out-going_n of_o soul_n after_o my_o god_n and_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n the_o fourteen_o sacrament_n be_v september_n 3._o 1682._o on_o which_o he_o observe_v thus_o i_o have_v but_o little_a of_o god_n some_o time_n before_o this_o till_o saturday_n night_n though_o i_o have_v be_v much_o in_o preparation_n yet_o my_o god_n come_v not_o in_o till_o then_o and_o indeed_o i_o
task_n as_o appear_v by_o his_o most_o diligent_a and_o divine_a diary_n this_o necessary_a but_o much_o neglect_a work_n of_o self-tryal_n i_o find_v he_o begin_v at_o the_o spring-time_n aequinoctial_a upon_o the_o 10._o of_o march_n 1681_o ‥_o o_o holy_a and_o happy_a soul_n that_o have_v now_o his_o hard_a freeze_a heart_n thus_o kind_o thaw_v by_o a_o look_n of_o love_n from_o the_o son_n of_o righteousness_n as_o peter_n be_v by_o a_o look_v from_o his_o lord_n luke_n 22.61_o 62_o hereby_o the_o lord_n help_v he_o to_o say_v with_o the_o bridegroom_n in_o the_o song_n the_o winter_n be_v pass_v the_o rain_n be_v over_o and_o go_v the_o flower_n appear_v on_o the_o earth_n etc._n etc._n cant._n 2.10_o 11_o 12_o 13.1_o most_o bless_a spring_n of_o grace_n better_a than_o that_o of_o grass_n be_v now_o upon_o he_o though_o i_o can_v give_v so_o distinct_a a_o account_n of_o his_o diary_n as_o i_o will_v because_o it_o be_v write_v in_o obscure_a character_n only_o with_o a_o black_a pencil_n intend_v it_o seem_v sole_o for_o hiâ—_n own_o private_a use_n yet_o with_o the_o beâ—â—_n key_n we_o can_v get_v it_o have_v be_v open_v that_o such_o precious_a treasurâ—_n shall_v not_o be_v lose_v but_o communicate_v for_o the_o common_a good_a i_o begin_v here_o from_o the_o manuscript_n both_o as_o to_o the_o matter_n and_o as_o to_o the_o time_n as_o i_o can_v judge_v upon_o what_o sabbath_n day_n i_o hear_v a_o sermon_n upon_o peter_n go_v out_o and_o weep_v bitter_o after_o christ_n have_v look_v upon_o he_o say_v he_o i_o go_v to_o prayer_n that_o night_n and_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o give_v i_o peter_n repentanoe_n and_o in_o the_o earnestness_n of_o spirit_n i_o fall_v flat_a upon_o the_o ground_n before_o the_o lord_n to_o beg_v it_o then_o i_o lay_v long_o till_o i_o have_v some_o comfort_n from_o my_o god_n yet_o remain_v i_o dull_a and_o muddy_a till_o wednesday_n night_n and_o then_o have_v i_o some_o communion_n with_o my_o god_n again_o even_o a_o new_a taste_n of_o his_o first_o goodness_n and_o comfort_n in_o prayer_n on_o thursday_n night_n do_v i_o meet_v he_o who_o my_o soul_n love_v again_o which_o i_o find_v very_o useful_a to_o i_o find_v by_o woeful_a experience_n that_o without_o christ_n strengthen_v i_o i_o can_v do_v nothing_o spiritual_o nor_o before_o the_o sabbath_n ensue_v nor_o in_o it_o have_v i_o the_o sweet_a communion_n with_o god_n i_o use_v to_o have_v before_o but_o on_o monday_n night_n i_o meet_v my_o god_n have_v a_o pretty_a deal_n of_o time_n that_o evening_n for_o tuesday_n morning_n be_v not_o so_o good_a nor_o can_v i_o raise_v my_o heart_n at_o night_n till_o it_o be_v very_o late_o and_o then_o have_v i_o my_o former_a sweetness_n but_o much_o more_o upon_o wednesday_n the_o same_o i_o find_v upon_o the_o sabbath_n follow_v and_o on_o monday_n night_n and_o on_o the_o next_o night_n also_o though_o everdul_a at_o the_o first_o yet_o enlarge_v after_o upon_o wednesday_n night_n i_o pray_v twice_o successive_o and_o find_v more_o than_o ordinary_a income_n on_o thursday_n again_o i_o have_v inlargement_n but_o at_o the_o close_a the_o devil_n make_v i_o drowsy_a to_o cut_v short_a my_o duty_n etc._n etc._n but_o on_o friday_n my_o heart_n be_v keep_v better_o raise_v on_o saturday_n i_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o direct_v i_o how_o i_o may_v meet_v the_o blessing_n of_o the_o next_o sabbath_n which_o through_o grace_n i_o meet_v with_o on_o that_o day_n yet_o be_v trouble_v with_o wander_n in_o my_o evening_n duty_n on_o monday_n the_o presence_n of_o god_n be_v with_o i_o and_o make_v my_o duty_n sweet_a at_o night_n on_o tuesday_n i_o meet_v with_o a_o precious_a opportunity_n for_o my_o soul_n good_a on_o wednesday_n i_o do_v not_o so_o well_o which_o make_v i_o chide_v my_o soul_n for_o no_o better_o requite_v the_o lord_n kindness_n on_o thursday_n morning_n i_o have_v god_n presence_n &_o the_o same_o at_o night_n though_o trouble_v with_o wander_n on_o friday_n i_o have_v many_o outward_a mercy_n yet_o can_v improve_v aright_o neither_o god_n word_n of_o grace_n nor_o his_o work_n of_o mercy_n on_o saturday_n have_v spare_a time_n from_o business_n i_o seek_v the_o lord_n thrice_o for_o a_o large_a sight_n of_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n when_o the_o sabbath_n come_v the_o lord_n give_v i_o a_o answer_n of_o peace_n etc._n etc._n thus_o may_v a_o large_a account_n of_o this_o gracious_a youngman_n self-tryal_n and_o watch_n over_o his_o own_o way_n from_o month_n to_o month_n all_o along_o but_o because_o to_o do_v so_o distinct_o from_o day_n to_o day_n will_v fill_v a_o volume_n i_o must_v therefore_o wave_v it_o and_o that_o not_o out_o of_o judgement_n only_o but_o out_o of_o necessity_n also_o see_v the_o key_n that_o open_v his_o charactars_n can_v not_o reach_v they_o all_o neither_o in_o point_n of_o time_n nor_o in_o point_n of_o matter_n the_o judicious_a reader_n may_v easy_o imagine_v that_o this_o defect_n will_v lame_a we_o in_o this_o work_n yet_o though_o it_o cost_v i_o unspeakable_a trouble_n and_o pain_n i_o shall_v follow_v my_o thread_n in_o this_o labyrinth_n i_o have_v already_o give_v a_o exact_a account_n how_o he_o examine_v himself_o upon_o every_o monthly_a sacrament_n from_o august_n 7._o 1681._o to_o jan._n 7._o 1681_o 3._o which_o be_v the_o last_o he_o do_v partake_v of_o for_o not_o long_o after_o his_o dear_a redeemer_n who_o he_o have_v so_o oft_o admire_v and_o embrace_v in_o the_o lord_n supper_n upon_o earth_n call_v he_o home_o to_o sup_v and_o feast_n with_o he_o in_o heaven_n as_o to_o his_o self-tryal_n at_o all_o other_o time_n between_o every_o one_o of_o those_o seventeen_o sacrament_n i_o shall_v proceed_v to_o relate_v so_o far_o as_o my_o key_n will_v carry_v i_o the_o best_a computation_n i_o can_v make_v out_o of_o the_o many_o manuscript_n consist_v of_o above_o thirty_o sheet_n which_o i_o have_v to_o abridge_v and_o methodize_v draw_v out_o of_o his_o diary_n pocket-book_n and_o almanac_n etc._n etc._n he_o renew_v his_o self-examining_a work_n again_o upon_o march_n 17._o 1681_o 2._o be_v friday_n how_o he_o spend_v all_o the_o time_n from_o the_o last_o march_n to_o this_o save_v only_o relate_v to_o the_o sacrament_n we_o must_v be_v content_a to_o want_v it_o for_o want_v of_o better_a help_n but_o upon_o that_o day_n he_o have_v leave_v upon_o record_n he_o have_v wander_v thought_n in_o duty_n do_v little_a for_o the_o good_a of_o other_o my_o sin_n say_v he_o lie_v but_o light_n i_o mourn_v not_o for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n i_o look_v not_o into_o my_o own_o heart_n nor_o be_v i_o concern_v in_o holy_a ejaculation_n the_o same_o he_o say_v of_o himself_o in_o spend_v the_o 18_o and_o march_v the_o 19_o be_v the_o sabbath_n he_o remark_n the_o same_o omission_n and_o not_o have_v a_o frame_n suitable_a to_o the_o day_n yea_o in_o night-duty_n pester_v with_o wander_n on_o march_n 20._o i_o arise_v from_o table_n without_o droop_v be_v full_a glad_a to_o meet_v god_n there_o march_n 21._o have_v the_o former_a omission_n and_o heaven_n little_a in_o my_o sight_n 22d_o day_n can_v not_o mourn_v for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n and_o the_o same_o frame_n be_v upon_o i_o the_o 23._o and_o 24._o nor_o can_v i_o do_v better_a or_o look_v into_o my_o heart_n the_o 25_o of_o march_n 1682._o nor_o the_o six_o follow_a day_n of_o that_o month_n can_v he_o shake_v of_o those_o omission_n april_n the_o first_o he_o brand_v himself_o with_o the_o same_o neglect_v the_o second_o day_n he_o add_v to_o those_o neglect_n that_o wander_a thought_n have_v eat_v up_o the_o life_n of_o his_o duty_n on_o the_o three_o the_o same_o complaint_n on_o the_o four_o miss_v vain_a thought_n in_o a_o good_a measure_n yet_o only_o through_o the_o strength_n oâ—_n christ_n but_o on_o five_o he_o add_v god_n our_o of_o sight_n &_o heaven_n out_o of_o mind_n on_o the_o six_o he_o make_v the_o same_o moan_n of_o seven_o my_o own_o sin_n and_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n lie_v too_o light_a upon_o my_o heart_n etc._n etc._n eight_o the_o same_o and_o that_o he_o have_v do_v nothing_o extraordinary_a for_o the_o church_n in_o herday_o of_o distress_n nine_o the_o same_o yet_o have_v some_o good_a thought_n but_o trouble_v with_o wander_n ten_o the_o same_o and_o so_o the_o eleven_o add_v i_o have_v be_v this_o day_n tempt_v to_o pride_n so_o the_o twelve_o thirteen_o and_o fourteen_o be_v fill_v with_o the_o like_a complaint_n and_o fifteen_o he_o add_v i_o have_v be_v spend_v this_o noon_n much_o too_o vain_o the_o sixteenth_o be_v the_o sabbath_n he_o bless_a god_n that_o distraction_n have_v not_o dull_v he_o
comfort_v isa_n 54.11_o till_o god_n bring_v he_o to_o the_o haven_n man_n life_n as_o a_o ship_n before_o the_o wind_n pass_v on_o without_o any_o stay_n until_o it_o come_v to_o shore_n whether_o the_o mariner_n in_o the_o ship_n be_v sleep_v or_o wake_n work_v or_o eat_v she_o run_v on_o her_o course_n so_o do_v man_n life_n run_v on_o however_o he_o spend_v his_o time_n whether_o he_o sleep_v or_o wake_v serve_v god_n or_o serve_v the_o devil_n the_o wind_n of_o divine_a power_n and_o providence_n be_v carry_v our_o ship_n of_o life_n near_o its_o port_n while_o i_o be_o thus_o speak_v and_o you_o hear_v god_n grant_v it_o may_v be_v the_o cape_n of_o good_a hope_n heaven_n to_o wit_n the_o best_a land_v place_n second_o as_o man_n life_n be_v liken_v to_o a_o pilgrimage_n by_o land_n so_o this_o likewise_o declare_v it_o to_o be_v a_o perilous_a passage_n and_o pathway_n we_o must_v not_o take_v the_o word_n pilgrimage_n in_o the_o text_n either_o strict_o or_o superstitious_o in_o the_o sense_n of_o the_o popish_a votary_n jacob_n be_v not_o to_o be_v look_v upon_o no_o not_o by_o pharaoh_n himself_o to_o be_v a_o popish_a pilgrim_n nor_o any_o of_o the_o holy_a patriarch_n his_o predecessor_n the_o popish_a pilgrimage_n to_o jerusalem_n be_v a_o ridiculous_a as_o well_o as_o a_o superstitious_a practice_n for_o no_o one_o place_n can_v bring_v a_o man_n nigh_a god_n than_o another_o all_o part_n of_o the_o earth_n have_v a_o equal_a distance_n from_o heaven_n though_o the_o romanist_n plead_v that_o father_n cyril_n go_v thither_o yet_o he_o himself_o profess_v that_o he_o go_v not_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o any_o private_a pilgrimage_n to_o jerusalem_n but_o as_o he_o be_v order_v by_o public_a authority_n to_o visit_v the_o eastern_a church_n and_o to_o establish_v they_o in_o the_o truth_n but_o we_o must_v understand_v pilgrimage_n here_o large_o for_o a_o pathway_n a_o thoroughfare_a a_o course_n race_n or_o journey_n from_o one_o place_n to_o another_o thus_o a_o pilgrim_n in_o scripture-sence_n be_v all_o one_o with_o a_o traveller_n a_o stranger_n and_o a_o sojourner_n man_n life_n be_v but_o his_o walk_n and_o way_n there_o be_v many_o congruity_n betwixt_o they_o which_o i_o shall_v reserve_v to_o discourse_v upon_o in_o handle_v the_o six_o observation_n as_o be_v their_o proper_a place_n add_v only_o here_o that_o there_o be_v a_o twofold_n pilgrimage_n first_o a_o natural_a pilgrimage_n second_o a_o moral_a pilgrimage_n first_o the_o natural_a pilgrimage_n be_v the_o course_n that_o a_o man_n ride_v the_o race_n that_o he_o run_v even_o the_o whole_a passage_n and_o progress_n of_o his_o life_n of_o nature_n ab_fw-la vtero_fw-la ad_fw-la urnam_fw-la from_o his_o birth_n to_o his_o burial_n for_o till_o then_o he_o come_v not_o to_o his_o journey_n end_v or_o to_o the_o period_n or_o full_a point_n of_o his_o pilgrimage_n there_o be_v two_o term_n in_o this_o former_a to_o wit_n the_o grave_a of_o the_o womb_n be_v the_o terminus_n a_o quo_fw-la or_o start_a place_n man_z begins_z this_o pilgrimage_n as_o soon_o as_o he_o be_v bear_v of_o a_o woman_n and_o come_v out_o of_o the_o womb_n into_o the_o world_n and_o he_o never_o rest_v from_o his_o travel_n but_o be_v a_o poor_a pilgrim_n sleep_v and_o wake_v until_o he_o come_v to_o rest_v in_o the_o womb_n of_o the_o grave_a there_o the_o weary_a be_v at_o rest_n job_n 3.17_o that_o be_v his_o terminus_n ad_fw-la quem_fw-la there_o be_v second_o a_o moral_a pilgrimage_n wherein_o likewise_o there_o be_v two_o the_o like_a term_n this_o be_v a_o walk_n from_o our_o self_n and_o from_o our_o sin_n up_o unto_o god_n and_o unto_o godliness_n the_o beginning_n of_o this_o pilgrimage_n moral_o take_v be_v the_o privative_a part_n he_o cease_v from_o sin_n or_o depart_v from_o evil_n and_o the_o accomplishment_n of_o it_o be_v the_o positive_a part_n a_o learning_n to_o do_v well_o and_o not_o only_o a_o pursue_v but_o also_o a_o overtaking_a of_o that_o which_o be_v good_a isa_n 1.16_o 17._o and_o psal_n 34.14_o and_o amos_n 5.15_o and_o this_o be_v a_o metaphorical_a walk_n non_fw-la pedibus_fw-la sed_fw-la affectibns_fw-la as_o say_v the_o father_n with_o our_o affection_n those_o foot_n of_o the_o soul_n whereby_o it_o go_v forth_o after_o object_n more_o than_o with_o those_o of_o the_o body_n i._o use_v see_v your_o life_n be_v but_o a_o pilgrimage_n a_o come_n and_o a_o go_v as_o david_n phrase_n be_v and_o of_o joshuah_n before_o he_o behold_v i_o be_o go_v the_o way_n of_o all_o the_o earth_n 1_o king_n 2.2_o and_o josh_n 23.14_o that_o be_v the_o way_n of_o all_o the_o man_n upon_o earth_n who_o be_v all_o doom_v to_o go_v that_o way_n hebr._n 9.27_o oh_o consider_v both_o you_o young_a and_o you_o old_a your_o life_n be_v a_o pathway_n either_o to_o a_o prison_n or_o to_o a_o palace_n it_o be_v a_o thoroughfare_a either_o to_o heaven_n or_o to_o hell_n bethink_v yourselves_o in_o time_n be_v man_n and_o woman_n of_o consideration_n for_o that_o be_v it_o which_o distinguish_v man_n from_o beast_n etc._n etc._n two_o use_n then_o agree_v with_o your_o adversary_n a_o angry_a god_n for_o your_o sin_n while_o you_o be_v in_o the_o way_n of_o your_o life_n matth._n 5.25_o while_o you_o be_v go_v your_o pilgrimage_n before_o you_o come_v to_o the_o judge_n house_n who_o will_v certain_o send_v you_o if_o unreconciled_a into_o a_o everlasting_a prison_n if_o you_o walk_v in_o the_o broad_a way_n be_v all_o for_o elbow-room_n to_o sin_n and_o lead_v loose_a and_o licentious_a life_n you_o be_v hasten_v down_o to_o the_o chamber_n of_o eternal_a death_n matth._n 7_o 13._o but_o if_o in_o the_o narrow-way_n of_o a_o strict_a conversation_n then_o be_v you_o go_v to_o a_o palace_n not_o to_o a_o prison_n ver_fw-la 14._o a_o good_a life_n always_o bespeak_v a_o good_a death_n and_o all_o person_n be_v pass_v either_o to_o heaven_n or_o hell_n while_o they_o live_v and_o when_o they_o die_v their_o death_n be_v but_o a_o flit_a to_o the_o one_o place_n or_o to_o the_o other_o etc._n etc._n have_v thus_o far_o discover_v the_o nature_n of_o humane_a life_n define_v or_o describe_v in_o the_o text_n to_o be_v not_o any_o royal_a progress_n which_o be_v constant_o carry_v on_o and_o manage_v after_o a_o splendid_a manner_n every_o way_n adapt_v to_o the_o grandeur_n of_o majesty_n no_o the_o life_n of_o man_n have_v no_o such_o stately_a prospect_n in_o this_o holy_a patriarch_n eye_n but_o it_o be_v a_o poor_a pilgrimage_n twice_o inculcate_v here_o and_o as_o oft_o aggravate_v with_o contemptible_a circumstance_n relate_v to_o both_o the_o quantity_n and_o the_o quality_n of_o this_o poor_a pilgrimage_n from_o tke_v former_a of_o these_o two_o to_o wit_n the_o quantity_n arise_v my_o five_o observation_n doctr._fw-la 5._o the_o pilgrimage_n of_o man_n life_n be_v but_o a_o short_a pilgrimage_n thus_o this_o bless_a patriarch_n compute_v his_o own_o life_n in_o the_o text_n to_o be_v but_o a_o short_a life_n consist_v only_o of_o a_o few_o day_n though_o he_o have_v now_o attain_v to_o the_o age_n of_o a_o hundred_o and_o thirty_o year_n few_n and_o evil_a etc._n etc._n to_o speak_v distinct_o of_o the_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d that_o it_o be_v so_o of_o the_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d why_o it_o be_v so_o and_o of_o the_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d the_o manner_n how_o it_o be_v so_o can_v be_v expect_v in_o this_o short_a discourse_n save_v only_o some_o promiscuous_a intimation_n of_o they_o all_o i._o reason_n the_o shortness_n of_o this_o pilgrimage_n be_v demonstrable_a three_o way_n first_o in_o as_o much_o as_o man_n life_n be_v measure_v by_o day_n one_o of_o the_o least_o computation_n of_o time_n not_o by_o week_n or_o by_o month_n much_o less_o by_o year_n thus_o jacob_n compute_v his_o own_o life_n by_o day_n in_o the_o text_n twice_o over_o as_o he_o do_v also_o the_o life_n of_o the_o forego_n patriarch_n thus_o job_n likewise_o number_v his_o life_n by_o day_n over_o and_o over_o again_o as_o job_n 7.1.6_o and_o 14.1.5_o and_o many_o more_o place_n too_o long_o to_o enumerate_v so_o david_n 1_o king_n 2.1.4_o and_o psal_n 103.3.11_o etc._n etc._n yea_o and_o all_o the_o most_o mortify_v man_n in_o scripture_n do_v unanimous_o concur_v in_o the_o same_o computation_n of_o their_o life_n by_o day_n ii_o reason_n the_o second_o demonstration_n that_o man_n life_n be_v short_a as_o it_o be_v measure_v so_o it_o be_v number_v by_o his_o day_n yea_o to_o be_v but_o as_o one_o day_n because_o it_o consist_v only_o of_o a_o few_o day_n this_o epithet_n be_v express_v in_o the_o text_n few_o be_v my_o day_n etc._n etc._n man_n appoint_a time_n be_v but_o a_o few_o
word_n with_o he_o for_o his_o promise_n be_v but_o with_o the_o silver_n of_o this_o life_n but_o his_o payment_n be_v with_o the_o gold_n of_o a_o better_a life_n solon_n say_v 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d who_o god_n love_v dye_v young_a he_o be_v take_v away_o from_o the_o evil_a to_o come_v 2_o king_n 22.20_o isa_n 57.1_o he_o have_v live_v long_o enough_o that_o can_v say_v not_o i_o have_v marry_v my_o child_n to_o good_a husband_n as_o worldling_n say_v but_o i_o have_v marry_v my_o precious_a soul_n to_o the_o bless_a bridegroom_n this_o be_v his_o joy_n yet_o can_v be_v content_a to_o pass_v out_o of_o the_o midst_n of_o this_o joy_n on_o earth_n to_o possess_v a_o better_a and_o great_a iâ—_n heaven_n and_o o_o that_o we_o may_v enter_v into_o our_o master_n joy_n as_o he_o have_v do_v as_o a_o post_n that_o have_v deliver_v his_o packet_n to_o god_n a_o ship_n that_o be_v lay_v up_o in_o the_o haven_n of_o heaven_n &_o a_o eagle_n now_o feed_v on_o the_o carcase_n of_o christ_n finis_fw-la a_o brief_a relation_n of_o the_o first_o conversion_n and_o after_o that_o of_o the_o whole_a conversation_n of_o that_o precious_a young_a man_n mr._n john_n draper_n draw_v out_o of_o his_o experience_n exercise_n examination_n of_o himself_o and_o his_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n all_o writ_n with_o his_o own_o hand_n in_o character_n etc._n etc._n chap._n i._n have_v diligent_o peruse_v what_o a_o prodigious_a account_n he_o give_v of_o himself_o with_o â—is_n own_o handwriting_n i_o can_v not_o but_o stand_v astonish_v that_o one_o so_o young_a and_o a_o servant_n too_o and_o who_o have_v so_o much_o business_n on_o earth_n in_o his_o master_n service_n shall_v redeem_v so_o much_o time_n to_o make_v religion_n his_o business_n in_o serve_v his_o great_a master_n christ_n and_o in_o secure_v heaven_n for_o his_o soul_n though_o it_o seem_v almost_o incredible_a yet_o it_o be_v most_o certain_o true_a that_o he_o mellow_a much_o and_o ripen_v fast_o for_o abraham_n bosom_n as_o appear_v by_o the_o sequel_n this_o holy_a young_a man_n may_v be_v a_o very_a eminent_a pattern_n of_o piety_n to_o old_a as_o well_o as_o young_a man_n in_o a_o fourfold_a respect_n 1._o for_o his_o experience_n 2._o for_o his_o exercise_n 3._o for_o his_o self-examination_n and_o 4._o for_o his_o excellent_a character_n and_o evidence_n of_o his_o interest_n in_o a_o better_a world_n all_o which_o i_o find_v very_o strenuous_o state_v in_o his_o own_o handwriting_n though_o in_o character_n yet_o by_o the_o help_n of_o a_o key_n be_v make_v both_o legible_a and_o intelligible_a and_o now_o publish_v for_o public_a good_a i._o for_o his_o experience_n they_o fall_v under_o a_o twofold_a head_n the_o former_a relate_v to_o his_o first_o conversion_n and_o the_o latter_a to_o his_o whole_a conversation_n his_o conversion_n i_o understand_v be_v effectual_o wrought_v notwithstanding_o his_o strict_a and_o religious_a education_n and_o former_a conviction_n hereafter_o mention_v etc._n etc._n by_o a_o sermon_n preach_v from_o matth._n 5.25_o 26._o agree_v with_o thy_o adversary_n quick_o while_o thou_o be_v in_o the_o way_n etc._n etc._n about_o december_n the_o 8_o 1678._o from_o whence_o he_o learn_v those_o bless_a truth_n follow_v and_o not_o only_o have_v they_o fix_v upon_o his_o heart_n and_o seal_v upon_o his_o soul_n but_o also_o i_o find_v his_o own_o soul_n fix_v in_o wax_n upon_o they_o to_o express_v the_o great_a veneration_n of_o they_o for_o their_o be_v so_o ravish_v and_o refresh_v in_o the_o hand_n of_o christ_n to_o his_o spirit_n the_o great_a truth_n that_o have_v a_o abide_a work_n upon_o his_o heart_n when_o this_o time_n of_o love_n come_v upon_o he_o be_v these_o i._o that_o god_n and_o man_n be_v at_o variance_n through_o sin_n they_o be_v at_o a_o distance_n ii_o it_o be_v man_n wisdom_n to_o make_v his_o peace_n with_o god_n his_o adversary_n iii_o this_o must_v be_v do_v quick_o while_o man_n be_v in_o his_o way_n before_o he_o be_v bring_v to_o the_o judge_n house_n by_o death_n etc._n etc._n iv_o there_o be_v great_a danger_n in_o delay_v or_o defer_v this_o agreement_n but_o sinner_n shall_v take_v up_o with_o god_n before_o it_o be_v too_o late_a etc._n etc._n v._o that_o god_n have_v a_o action_n of_o debt_n for_o which_o to_o arrest_v every_o sinner_n etc._n etc._n vi_o this_o debt_n of_o sin_n be_v strange_o circumstance_v 1._o it_o be_v a_o hereditary_a 2_o a_o universal_a debt_n both_o every_o man_n be_v bear_v in_o this_o debt_n and_o no_o man_n live_v be_v exempt_v from_o it_o 3._o it_o be_v a_o increase_a and_o a_o grow_a debt_n the_o long_a it_o run_v on_o in_o a_o man_n life_n etc._n etc._n 4._o it_o be_v a_o infinite_a debt_n and_o therefore_o insoluble_a it_o can_v be_v pay_v etc._n etc._n no_o finite_a creature_n can_v ever_o pay_v this_o infinite_a debt_n to_o the_o infinite_a creator_n those_o bless_a truth_n the_o lord_n speak_v with_o a_o strong_a hand_n as_o isa_n 8.11_o to_o this_o young_a man_n heart_n and_o make_v he_o consider_v first_o that_o till_o this_o agreement_n be_v make_v my_o god_n be_v my_o adversary_n and_o i_o have_v better_o have_v all_o the_o world_n my_o enemy_n the_o maker_n of_o the_o world_n who_o if_o a_o friend_n can_v make_v my_o enemy_n friend_n etc._n etc._n second_o i_o can_v stand_v it_o out_o with_o the_o great_a god_n who_o will_v burn_v up_o those_o briar_n that_o set_v themselves_o against_o he_o isa_n 27.4_o three_o it_o be_v no_o frivolous_a thing_n to_o be_v do_v or_o undo_v but_o it_o be_v a_o matter_n of_o great_a moment_n eternal_a weal_n and_o woe_n hang_v upon_o it_o etc._n etc._n four_o i_o must_v agree_v etc._n etc._n because_o there_o be_v no_o other_o way_n in_o all_o the_o world_n to_o take_v up_o this_o prodigious_a debt_n but_o by_o agreement_n etc._n etc._n five_o it_o will_v not_o always_o be_v my_o privilege_n to_o make_v a_o agreement_n time_n will_v not_o last_v always_o for_o take_v up_o the_o controversy_n for_o when_o death_n come_v than_o it_o be_v to_o late_a etc._n etc._n six_o if_o my_o cause_n come_v before_o the_o righteous_a judge_n i_o be_o sure_a to_o be_v cast_v because_o it_o be_v a_o bad_a cause_n and_o that_o judge_n will_v not_o be_v bribe_v with_o any_o thing_n in_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n seven_o it_o i_o be_v cast_v in_o my_o cause_n i_o shall_v be_v deliver_v up_o by_o the_o judge_n to_o god_n gaoler_n and_o executioner_n to_o wit_n the_o devil_n eight_o if_o i_o be_v deliver_v over_o to_o god_n officer_n of_o justice_n he_o will_v cast_v i_o into_o prison_n that_o be_v drag_v i_o into_o hell_n nine_o if_o once_o i_o be_v cast_v into_o the_o prison_n of_o hell_n there_o must_v i_o lie_v till_o i_o have_v pay_v the_o uttermost_a farthing_n which_o can_v never_o be_v do_v i_o must_v be_v always_o pay_v the_o debt_n yet_o never_o have_v pay_v it_o by_o these_o soul-awaking_a consideration_n the_o lord_n help_v he_o through_o his_o grace_n to_o conclude_v with_o himself_o that_o it_o be_v the_o high_a wisdom_n in_o the_o world_n to_o agree_v quick_o with_o god_n his_o adversary_n as_o he_o be_v a_o child_n of_o wrath_n by_o nature_n eph._n 2.3_o and_o it_o will_v be_v the_o most_o sublime_a folly_n for_o he_o any_o long_a to_o defer_v it_o etc._n etc._n hereupon_o the_o lord_n have_v thus_o open_v his_o eye_n touch_v his_o heart_n and_o break_v down_o window_n into_o his_o dark_a soul_n upon_o further_a inquiry_n he_o learn_v that_o this_o vast_a debt_n he_o be_v owe_v to_o divine_a justice_n no_o less_o than_o ten_o thousand_o talent_n mat._n 18.24_o which_o be_v no_o less_o than_o a_o king_n ransom_n can_v never_o be_v compound_v for_o this_o just_a judge_n will_v have_v either_o all_o or_o none_o and_o till_o a_o agreement_n be_v make_v god_n be_v a_o angry_a adversasary_n and_o better_o i_o shall_v anger_v all_o the_o witch_n in_o the_o world_n and_o all_o the_o devil_n in_o hell_n than_o anger_n the_o great_a god_n i_o must_v agree_v with_o he_o then_o the_o inquiry_n be_v make_v how_o this_o may_v be_v do_v the_o answer_n be_v there_o be_v something_o lay_v on_o god_n part_n and_o something_o on_o you_o that_o on_o god_n part_n be_v 1._o to_o find_v a_o arbitrator_n or_o days-man_n one_o more_o than_o a_o man_n for_o what_o can_v a_o mere_a man_n do_v with_o a_o angry_a god_n 2._o god_n find_v a_o ransom_n a_o surety_n to_o satisfy_v the_o debt_n with_o the_o travel_n of_o his_o soul_n job_n 33.24_o heb._n 7.22_o and_o isa_n 53.11_o 3._o god_n make_v the_o sinner_n heart_n wilâ—ing_v to_o accept_v of_o this_o way_n of_o agreement_n phil_n 2.13_o that_o which_o â—ays_v on_o man_n part_n be_v two_o
etc._n ten_o so_o observant_a be_v he_o 〈◊〉_d all_o the_o working_n of_o his_o own_o heart_n that_o he_o set_v down_o how_o that_o when_o he_o be_v pray_v once_o in_o the_o dark_a cellar_n without_o any_o light_n the_o tempter_n possess_v he_o with_o fear_n that_o something_o will_v appear_v to_o affright_v he_o but_o god_n gracious_o step_v in_o and_o say_v to_o he_o fear_v not_o thou_o son_n of_o abraham_n etc._n etc._n gen._n 15.1_o eleven_o he_o record_v the_o very_a day_n wherein_o he_o miss_v his_o take_v a_o account_n of_o his_o own_o daily_a task_n of_o self_n examination_n and_o when_o he_o omit_v the_o scatter_n of_o some_o savoury_a discourse_n become_v table-talk_a at_o meat-time_n twelve_o he_o compute_v the_o very_a time_n first_o when_o mourn_v for_o sin_n be_v make_v sweet_a to_o his_o soul_n second_o when_o he_o enjoy_v god_n presence_n in_o prayer_n both_o by_o himself_o and_o with_o other_o three_o how_o often_o god_n come_v to_o he_o when_o disturb_v in_o duty_n or_o disappoint_v of_o it_o be_v constrain_v thereby_o sometime_o to_o pour_v out_o his_o heart_n to_o god_n in_o the_o shop_n by_o day_n and_o upon_o his_o bed_n by_o night_n in_o both_o which_o place_n he_o have_v sweet_a warming_n of_o spirit_n four_o how_o oft_o he_o make_v resignation_n of_o his_o soul_n to_o god_n which_o be_v very_o frequent_a as_o also_o how_o oft_o he_o renew_v his_o covenant_n with_o god_n especial_o upon_o sacrament_n day_n which_o be_v the_o most_o material_a remark_n whereof_o i_o will_v not_o omit_v one_o out_o of_o choice_n i_o can_v collect_v out_o of_o the_o many_o sheet_n i_o have_v to_o peruse_v in_o my_o oft_o read_v they_o over_o and_o have_v not_o the_o same_o matter_n so_o oft_o upon_o distinct_a occasion_n repeat_v be_v reduce_v by_o this_o method_n to_o those_o few_o several_a head_n this_o tract_n may_v have_v swell_v into_o a_o volume_n chap._n v._n the_o last_o subject_n of_o this_o discourse_n be_v twofold_a first_o the_o evidence_n he_o have_v for_o heaven_n second_o the_o character_n that_o be_v give_v he_o by_o gracious_a and_o judicious_a witnessing_n of_o other_o as_o to_o the_o first_o i_o find_v several_a evidence_n write_v with_o his_o own_o hand_n and_o which_o give_v sweet_a encouragement_n to_o his_o soul_n that_o he_o be_v a_o choose_a vessel_n of_o mercy_n and_o one_o to_o be_v fill_v as_o with_o grace_n here_o so_o with_o glory_n hereafter_o first_o i_o know_v my_o repentance_n say_v he_o because_o my_o sense_n under_o sin_n as_o a_o burden_n be_v heavy_a to_o my_o soul_n than_o all_o my_o affliction_n be_v to_o my_o body_n i_o be_o ashamed_a of_o my_o secret_a sin_n which_o no_o man_n see_v or_o know_v before_o the_o lord_n who_o see_v and_o know_v they_o and_o all_o other_o thing_n and_o i_o desire_v to_o leave_v my_o darling_n sin_n and_o to_o leave_v all_o love_n to_o it_o yea_o to_o loath_a it_o through_o my_o love_n i_o bear_v to_o my_o lord_n and_o dear_a redeemer_n who_o i_o account_v dear_a to_o i_o than_o any_o sin_n yea_o than_o all_o the_o world_n etc._n etc._n second_o i_o know_v say_v he_o that_o to_o have_v true_a faith_n by_o christ_n be_v more_o precious_a to_o i_o than_o all_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n i_o be_o willing_a to_o receive_v he_o into_o my_o heart_n as_o my_o lord_n and_o king_n to_o rule_v i_o and_o my_o faith_n work_v by_o love_n so_o that_o i_o be_o grieve_v for_o his_o absence_n and_o rejoice_v at_o his_o presence_n and_o i_o be_o willing_a to_o part_v with_o all_o for_o he_o that_o he_o may_v be_v my_o all_o and_o in_o all_o three_o i_o find_v a_o delight_n to_o do_v god_n will_v sometime_o in_o pray_v to_o he_o sometime_o in_o praise_v of_o he_o sometime_o in_o hear_v from_o he_o and_o sometime_o in_o meditate_v upon_o he_o and_o upon_o that_o work_n of_o man_n redemption_n four_o i_o feel_v my_o heart_n mourn_v most_o for_o that_o sin_n which_o most_o disturb_v my_o peace_n and_o most_o separate_v betwixt_o god_n and_o my_o soul_n and_o long_v most_o for_o that_o mercy_n that_o will_v do_v i_o most_o good_a in_o a_o die_a hour_n to_o wit_v not_o general_a but_o special_a mercy_n even_o mercy_n in_o christ_n five_o i_o can_v say_v that_o i_o love_v the_o lord_n for_o i_o hate_v that_o which_o grieve_v he_o and_o that_o because_o it_o grieve_v he_o and_o i_o love_v those_o that_o be_v most_o like_o he_o yea_o the_o place_n and_o duty_n wherein_o i_o have_v find_v the_o lord_n warm_v my_o heart_n and_o can_v be_v content_a without_o he_o in_o any_o sixthly_a i_o can_v say_v i_o have_v a_o principle_n of_o life_n spiritual_a for_o i_o find_v hungring_n and_o thirsting_n after_o a_o enjoyment_n of_o christ_n and_o find_v my_o soul_n grieve_v when_o he_o be_v dishonour_v either_o by_o myself_o or_o by_o other_o and_o i_o love_v long_a and_o look_v for_o his_o last_o appear_v and_o come_v seven_o i_o high_o value_v the_o gospel_n that_o word_n of_o christ_n and_o truth_n which_o bring_v good_a tiding_n even_o reconciliation_n and_o the_o dispensation_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n which_o have_v be_v hide_v some_o thousand_o of_o year_n and_o now_o be_v forfeit_v yet_o gracious_o continue_v to_o we_o though_o withdraw_v from_o many_o nation_n i_o be_o thankful_a for_o it_o labour_v to_o live_v like_o it_o and_o to_o adorn_v it_o with_o my_o life_n daily_o eight_o i_o know_v that_o matter_n be_v agree_v with_o god_n so_o that_o he_o be_v now_o no_o adversary_n because_o i_o find_v a_o oneness_n with_o he_o 1._o in_o mind_n which_o be_v make_v correspondent_a with_o the_o mind_n of_o god_n by_o this_o agreement_n i_o can_v think_v the_o reproach_n of_o christ_n to_o be_v great_a riches_n than_o the_o treasure_n of_o aegrpt_a heb._n 11.26_o 2._o oneness_n of_o will_n i_o can_v say_v whether_o for_o life_n or_o death_n the_o will_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v do_v acts._n 21.14_o though_o there_o have_v be_v much_o ado_n to_o bring_v my_o will_n into_o a_o agreement_n with_o god_n and_o when_o i_o find_v not_o sometime_o a_o actual_a agreement_n yet_o have_v i_o always_o a_o habitual_a agreement_n of_o my_o will_n with_o the_o will_n of_o god_n 3._o oneness_n of_o affection_n i_o love_v what_o god_n love_v and_o hate_v what_o god_n hate_v psal_n 119.70_o jer._n 44.4_o i_o hate_v sin_n which_o god_n hate_v so_o i_o love_v holiness_n which_o god_n love_v 4._o oneness_n of_o way_n can_v two_o walk_v together_o unless_o they_o be_v agree_v amos_n 3.3_o psal_n 119.30_o and_o 25_o 5._o and_o isa_n 56.4_o 5._o 5._o oneness_n of_o interest_n god_n interest_n be_v i_o and_o my_o interest_n be_v god_n i_o can_v say_v in_o the_o witnessing_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n rom._n 9.1_o that_o there_o be_v this_o fivefold_a oneness_n betwixt_o god_n and_o i_o so_o be_v agree_v the_o nine_o evidence_n for_o his_o interest_n in_o heaven_n be_v his_o holy_a jealousy_n over_o his_o own_o heart_n in_o all_o his_o holy_a undertake_n ever_o fear_v that_o some_o by_o respect_n and_o not_o god_n glory_n be_v the_o motive_n that_o lead_v he_o to_o holy_a duty_n this_o he_o oft_o pray_v against_o and_o particular_o caution_n a_o gracious_a youngman_n with_o who_o he_o have_v agree_v to_o carry_v on_o a_o christian_a correspondency_n either_o in_o absence_n by_o letter_n or_o in_o presence_n by_o conference_n that_o herein_o they_o do_v not_o bring_v hurt_v instead_o of_o good_a to_o themselves_o by_o seek_v ourselves_o and_o not_o he_o who_o we_o be_v etc._n etc._n we_o be_v not_o our_o own_o but_o christ_n who_o pay_v dear_o for_o we_o far_o more_o than_o we_o be_v worth_a and_o we_o have_v covenant_v to_o glorify_v he_o not_o ourselves_o etc._n etc._n this_o holy_a jealousy_n be_v a_o bless_a frame_n of_o spirit_n ten_o his_o prize_v a_o union_n and_o communion_n with_o god_n above_o the_o confluence_n of_o all_o worldly_a comfort_n this_o point_n he_o in_o another_o letter_n to_o the_o youngman_n aforesaid_a when_o in_o the_o country_n by_o sickness_n much_o insist_o upon_o say_v while_o we_o enjoy_v god_n presence_n we_o have_v the_o hide_a manna_n and_o that_o joy_n which_o stranger_n to_o god_n intermeddle_v not_o not_o with_o all_o be_v nothing_o and_o worse_o than_o nothing_o without_o it_o it_o be_v heaven_n upon_o earth_n and_o it_o be_v heaven_n in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n thus_o david_n reckon_v one_o day_n with_o god_n better_a than_o a_o thousand_o without_o he_o etc._n etc._n eleven_o o_o what_o carefulness_n do_v i_o find_v in_o all_o his_o manuscript_n as_o well_o as_o in_o his_o letter_n express_v to_o keep_v his_o account_n even_o betwixt_o god_n and_o his_o soul_n that_o right_a reckon_n may_v keep_v they_o long_a friend_n in_o his_o