as other youths did at all these things because thereby did original sin grow in me and hard it was to root it out and hard to believe After this I heard still and more I understood I heard Gen. 16. that the people were full of sin lust and all other sin and therefore the Lord destroyed them and I knew that I had the same sins and therefore I was afraid but I feared only this bodily life and not for my Soul After this my heart did a little desire to pray to God because God found Noah righteous and did save him therefore I desired to pray but again I laid it by and I said it is vain to pray for if I pray and should commit sin I shall be punished or imprisoned but if I pray not I may commit what sin I will and have no punishment for it About a year after I heard the Minister teach another word that the Death of Christ is precious and our death is nothing worth therefore God promiseth pardon of all sins for Christ his sake he bid us remember this against next time When he came again he asked me and I did remember it and do to this day but I confess I did not believe only I did remember it and answered when I was asked And then again I desired to pray to God and would not go away but it was because I loved our place and dwelling I prayed but I believed not I considered not Eternal Life but only this worldly life And thus I went on till they chose Rulers at Natik they chose me and I refused because I believed not After that my Wife and Child died and I was sick to death but lived again and being well I thought I could not pray I was a Child and therefore could not I put off praying to God my Relations died and why should I pray but then I considered why does God thus punish me yea the Minister spake to me about it and said it may be it was because I refused to do Gods work as Moses when he first refused God was patient but when he persisted in his refusal God was angry and then my heart saw my sin and then my heart almost believed I desired to do right and to keep the Sabbath for I further heard in the 4th Commandment Remember the Sabbath to keep it holy and Psa. 101. I will walk wisely in a perfect way Also in Isay 58. If thou turn away thy foot from the Sabbath and do not thy own works nor find thy own pleasure nor speak thy own words therefore my Soul desired to keep the Sabbath then the Souldiers came upon us on the Sabbath day while we were at meeting and took away our Guns and caused us to bring them as far as Roxbury that night my heart was broken off my heart said God is not the Sabbath is not it is not the Lords Day for were it so the Souldiers would not have then come then my heart cast off praying then we came before the Magistrates and Cutshamoquin asked Why they came on the Sabbath-day It was answered that it was lawful but I did not understand it That day I being very thirsty did drink too much and was brought before the Magistrates and was ashamed I came to Roxbury to the Minister and there I was ashamed also because I had greatly sinned then I cried to God for Free-mercy because precious is the Death of Christ oh pardon this my sin Yet again I had temptations to drinking and then I considered what a great sinner I was even like a beast before God Then I heard that word Mat. 5. He that breaketh the beast of Gods Commands and teacheth others so to do shall be the least in the Kingdome of Heaven My heart said Lord such an one have I been for I have been an active sinner yet I cried again for mercy O Lord freely pardon my great sins Again I confess I am very weak even like a very child and I so walk and know not what to do if I die I fear I shall die in my sin yet I cried again O God pardon me for Christ his sake Again further I confess that when I was troubled about our wants poverty and nakedness I considered that text Foxes have holes and Birds have nests but the Son of man hath not whereon to lay his head And again Mat. 6. The Birds plough not and the flowers spin not and yet God doth both feed and cloath them and therefore be not over-much troubled about these things yet I desire to follow labour with my hands because Gen 1. God gave Adam dominion over the creatures and commanded him to Till the ground And Gen. 2. He set him in the Garden and commanded him to dress it and keep it Also Gen. 3. he said Thou shalt eat thy bread in the sweat of thy face all thy dayes till thou returnest to thy dust When I remember these things my heart doth bow to labour also I heard that riches were the root of all evil and Dives with his fine apparel and dainty fare was in hell and poor Lazarus was in heaven When my heart is troubled about our Land â—nd about riches I quiet my heart with these meditations Also I further heard when my heart was troubled about Salvation and doubted I heard that there is no means of Salvation but Christ not any thing in the world can carry us to heaven only Christ which I did believe by Gen. 28. where Iacob dreamed a dream and he saw a Ladder which stood on earth and the top reached up to heaven and that Ladder is Christ who is Man and so toucheth the earth and God and so is in heaven and by believing in him we ascend to heaven as by a ladder This helped me almost to believe and I cried Oh Christ be thou my Ladder to heaven Again Ioh. 14. Christ saith None cometh to the Father but by me therefore I believe nothing can carry me to God but only Christ if I penitently believe in him Again I confess I do still find my self very weak to resist sin for if I read and teach on the Sabbath I teach indeed but I do not as I ought and therefore that Word of Christ doth rebuke me Mat. 23. Hear and do what they say but do not as they do When I do among others reprove sinners that Word of Christ reproveth me Thou hypocrite first cast the beam out of thine own eye and then thou mayest see clearly so cast the moat out of thy brothers eye Again when I pray I find hypocrisie in my heart to do it to be seen of men and that Word of Christ reproveth me Mat. 6. They pray to be sâ—en of men verily they have their reward and then I cryed mightily to God O Lord help me pardon me what shall I do Again I heard Mat. 9. The Son of Man hath power to pardon sin on earth and therefore me O Lord then
you shall have pardon and be saved and therefore sometime I believe and sometimes I doubt again Afterward I had temptation to drinking and to vain courses nigh half a year yet when Sabbath came my heart would turn to God when the Soldiers came upon us on the Sabbath while wee were at meeting and made us bring our guns hither then my heart said Sure God hath not said Keep the Sabbath day holy and then my heart cast off God yet it was only in my heart When wee came to the Magistrates and Cutshamoquin asked Why they came on the Sabbath day my heart was troubled and I did believe when wee went from the Magistrates I was thirsty and I drank a great deal and I was drunk and was carried before the Magistrates and then I was ashamed Then I came to the Ministers house and I was greatly ashamed and my heart said Sure I have now cast off praying to God but I repented and cryed to God Oh God pardon all my sins and this my sin for my sins are great I had other temptations to drinking and I found my heart weak and doubting but my heart was troubled and I was ready to stumble like a little weak childe After this I heard that word of God Mat. 12. Do yee not remember what David did on the Sabbath day and was blamelesse Then I thought the Souldiers did not sin but then I saw that I was a great sinner and that I had broken the Sabbath Again I heard that word Mat. 3. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewen down and cast into the fire and this troubled mee because I had evil fruits Again Mat. 6. Christ saith Be ye not like hypocrites which seem to pray before men I thought this was my case I did only pray before men but I doubted of Christ and his Grace Again Mat. 5. Who ever breaks the least of Gods Commandements and teach men so to do shall be least in the Kingdom of heaven Then I was troubled because I had been an active sinner in lust and other sins and I was worse then a beast in my sins Then I cryed to God Oh Christ pardon all my great sins Oh Christ have mercy on mee Oh God remember mee to pardon all my sins Thus I cryed and desired pardon but I was weak in believing But then about two years after I was greatly troubled about my weakness I desired to do well but I was weak Then I cryed to God Oh God help mee by thy spirit in mee and send thy spirit into my heart Sometimes I read and taught on the Sabbath day but weakly Then I heard Mat. 23. Christ bid the people do what the Scribes and Pharisees said but not do as they do I said Lord that is my case I teach better then I do and therefore I desired repentance for my sin and to forsake my sin Then Mat. 7. Christ saith Thou hypocrite first cast the beam out of thy own eye and then thou mayst see clearly to cast the mote out of thy brothers eye My heart said Truly it is so I teach others but I do not well my self I reprove sin and yet I do it Then was my heart weary and I desired again to do well and amend but I found my self very weak Sometime my heart hated praying to God and meeting on the Sabbath dayes and therefore I see I deserve hell torments and then I cryed Oh Christ pardon all these my sins Then afterward my heart desired strongly to pray unto God but I saw I deserved misery and punishment and I was weak Then I desired my heart might be made strong by Church-covenant Baptism and the Lords Supper which might be as a Fort to keep me from enemies as a Fort keepeth us from our outward enemies Yet my heart was sometime backward and said No matter do it not but still do what thy heart would have thee And I saw Satan did thus follow mee with these temptations to misbelief and doubting But now I see Satan tempteth mee because hee desireth I should be ever tormented with him Then I learned that in Iohn 6. I am the true bread and hee that eateth mee shall live for ever and hee that drinketh my blood shall have life but hee that doth not eat my flesh and drink my blood shall not have life Then my heart saith Truth Lord that is my case Again I learnt Iohn 3. Hee that believeth shall not perish but have eternal life And my heart said Yea Lord let it be so Again Mat. 16. Christ saith Thou art Peter a Rock and on this Rock I will build my Church and the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it Therefore my heart said I desire this because Christ dwells in the Church and is in the midst of them where two or three are met together in my name Oh! I do therefore desire Church Ordinances that I might be with Christ and that I might have the Seals Mat. 3. Christ sayes Let it be for it is necessary that I should fulfill all righteousness My heart said Oh that I might also so do O Lord now my heart desireth and thirsteth Oh God have mercy on mee and pity my weakness that I may have pardon in Christ and strength from Christ in all his Ordinances and that I might leave all my sins and Oh God pardon all my sins for thy mercies sake I know not what to do I am so weak Oh God help and have mercy on mee And the same I desire of you before whom I am in this house help mee for Mat. 16. whom yee binde on earth are bound in heaven and whom yee loose on earth are loosed in heaven and my desire is that Christ would pardon all my sins and that I may be helped Elder Heath propounded this Question which hee answered in broken English Question Whether doth Satan still tempt you with former lusts and temptations and what do you when you are tempted Answer to the first part Yes alwaies to this day To the second part When Devil comes I sometime too much believe him but sometime I remember to do Gods Word because Gods Word is all one a sword and breaks the Devils temptations Deacon Park propounded this Question What is it in sin why hee hateth it now more then before Answ. his answer in broken English I did love sin but now not all one so because I hear Gods Word and that shewes mee that which I loved is evil and will bring mee to hell therefore I love it not now Deacon Park urged Doth hee hate sin because it is against God Answ. That chiefly Anthony FIrst I make confession in the presence of God and of all these Elders and this I confesse that I am not able to speak before the Lord yet I do it according as God requireth I should Assuredly I am a sinner but now I hope Christ hath taught mee his Word Oh let him my Lord help mee to
my heart did desire Christ and to pray as long as I live and my heart was stirred up thereunto by Luke 18. Christ spake a parable that we should pray and not be weary because the Widdow tyred the unjust Judge and made him help her how much more shall God the righteous Judge hear and help his children that cry night and day therefore I desired to pray unto God as long as I lived Then my heart said What shall I do for I am weak and I fear I shall perish then I heard that word Ioh. 3. God so loved the world that he gave his only Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have Eternal Life And again it is said that God loved his Son and gave all things into his hand I am weak and though I pray yet I am weak therefore I desired to be in Christs hand as in a Fort in a Fort we are safe from exercise they cannot easily catch us out of a Fort we are open to them So I desire Church-Estate the Seals of Baptisme and the Lords Supper and all Church-Ordinances as a Fort unto my Soul I heard that Word of Christ Mat. 16. Thou art Peter and on this Rock I will build my Church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it Oh I desire to be there kept Again I heard Mat. 3. God is able of these stones to raise â—p seed to Abraham therefore raise up me O Lord And again Christ came to Iohn to be baptized Iohn refused but Christ said Suffer it to be so It is necessary to fulfill all unrighteousness therefore so I desire to do all that is right and I desire to be baptized Again I confess I fear I shall sin again and defile my self after I am washed and baptized even as the dog returneth to his vomit therefore I cry O God help me for thy free mercies sake Again I heard that in Mat. 18. where two or three are met together in my Name Christ is in the midst of them Therefore I desiâ—â— to have the Ordinances of Christ to be with Christ but my heart saith if I be bound by Ordinances then I shall be imprisoned but yet I desire to be there in prâ—â—on with Christ if my heart say I shall be as dead but yet I desire to be so with Christ Again I heard in Iohn Christ saith Who ever cometh to me I cast him not away but he shall have life But Ioh. 5. Christ doth say Ye will not come unto me that you might have life Therefore my heart did greatly fear and pray Oh that I might come to Christ and Christ is the everlasting Son of God therefore my Soul desireth to be with him And this I confess that though I believe in Christ yet I am still weak and therefore I desire to be made strong by the Seals but I fear I am unworthy because of that word Mat. 7. Cast not Pearls before Swine nor holy things to dogs yet my heart saith O Lord remember me and yet let me a dog come under thy Table to get a crum and I cry to God because of all my weakness I confess I cannot deliver or help or save my self only Christ Jesus can do it and let Free-grace pardon me and save me O God have mercy on me Again Mat. 18. Whatever ye bind on earth is bound in heaven and whatever ye loose on earth is loosed in heaven therefore I desire to be loosed both in earth and in heaven and to be sealed with Gods Seal When I had read this Confession of his I said because the Lord hath said that in the mouth of two or three Witnesses every Truth shall be established therefore I desired that the rest of the Interpreters might attest unto this which I had read FIrst Mr. Peirson said so far as I discern I doubt not of the truth of what Mr. Eliot hath delivered and for that which he hath now uttered though some things the Indian hath added more then he spake in private and some things left out and some things otherwise placed yet for the substance of his present Confession it is the same with that which he delivered in private where we did carefully try all things that we might be sure that we understood him right Then Bro. Fouldyer was desired to speak who saith That he did not expect to have understood so much of his speech and so plainly as he did and his Interpreter did perfectly understand all and to his best understanding that which Mr. Eliot had delivered was the very same which he spake I said unto the Assembly In that he spake so plain to his understanding it is because I had advised him and so all the rest to express themselves in the most plain and familiar words and expressions they could for my more easie and perfect understanding Again for that my Bro. Peirson observed that they left out something and added other and varied in sundry expressions It is true I observed the same and it may well be so for they have not any writing or like helps only their memory and the help of Gods Spirit to read in their own hearts what they utter Then the two Sons of Thom. Stanton were called to testifie the Schollar spoke first and said that he did understand perfectly all that the Indian said and he did not observe any difference in what Mr. Eliot had delivered but it was the same which the Indian spake The other spake and said he did not perfectly understand all that the Indian said but so far as he did understand Mr. Eliot had delivered the truth My Son was called to speak who said I did for the most part well understand the Indian and to my best understanding my Father hath given a true interpretation thereof Antony He was next called who thus spake I Confess my sins before the Lord and all these people and godly men for ye throughly know that we are great sinners not only before God but before man also I confess that in my Mothers Womb I was conceived in sin and that I was born in iniquity my Father and Mother were sinners and lived in fin they prayed to many Gods the Sun Heavens Beasts Trees and every thing in the world they made them their Gods and throughly we followed these sins When I was born I was in the Image of Satan I knew not that God made all this world I was only wise to sin and I did all those things which I liked to do even all lusts from my youth up and now I confess my sins before God and all men for God and men do know them I did all my delights When I was a youth the English came but I regarded them not Afterward I heard that the Indians prayed but my heart-said I will not pray so long as I live for they be vain words to pray unto God my Parents taught me to pray unto many Gods Sometime I came to