that He may leave us inexcusable wash His hands of us and say perditio tua ex te c. Our destruction if it do come is from our selves if wee could but wish well to our owne soules we could not but do well and yet it is not wishing but doing well that doth the deed I will do what I can and I will desire to do what I should and cannot God accepts a willing mind and if I am willing beyond my ability He will either make me able or accept my wil. O God thou that workest in me both to will and to do work my will to thine and my power to my will that I may not onely will or desire but do thy wil. God doth not looke for every thing from every one for ten talents where He left but two onely Hee there exacts much where He hath given much if the seed of thorny or stony ground bring forth no fruit or withered it is no marvell but where He hath dung'd and gooded to expect a crop is but reasonable The more I have the more I have to answere for the greater my trust the greater my account Let others care how to get more my care shall be how to pay for that I have already All lands do not yeeld the same things and the same land doth not yeeld all things thus God divides His blessings to us as He doth to these to some strength of body to another strength of wit to one health to another knowledge c. He hath distributed to no man all things yet to every man some thing he is strangely miserable that hath nothing but this doth not please if every one have not all they growe surly What wilt thou give me since I go childlesse could the best of the Patriarkes say It is hard and rare to see that in others which we want our selves and would have and be still Whil'st I am in this world I shall ever behold this inequalitie and if I cannot make a covenant with mine eyes I will with my heart Since I cannot but see it I will learn not to repine at it it is the Lord let Him do whatsoever He will God calls some men to martyrdome when others would startle at a stake and yet good Christians too all men as all trees are not fit for fewell that are fit for use every one cannot hold out against the prison and the hatchet It is an easie matter to dare affliction before it come and when it doth come run away from it We know not of what spirit wee are what metall we are made of our prayer must be first not to meet with persecutions and next to endure them but not meet them Earth is but our rode to Heaven and the things of this world like high-way fruit are common to all the sunne shines and raine falls alike upon the just and upon the unjust lest they should bee thought evils they are given unto the good and least they should be too well thought of they are afforded to the evill There is another good which is wholly the Godly's and wholly to be sought for the kingdome of Heaven and the righteousnesse thereof they whose kingdome is not of this world can see the kingdomes of this world with their SAVIOVR from the pinnacle and contemn them or at least not fall downe and worship them It shall not trouble me that I am out-bid in these things by others I will bee contented to excell them in better things the comfort I have and the glory I shall have The covetous man never hath enough like Pharaohs leane kine eates but is never the fuller toiles and sweats wakes and wants for all this it is a greater miserie to desire much than to have nothing of no man can it be better said all is vanitie and vexation of spirit he is his owne tormentor and doth at once make himselfe a hell here and provide himselfe one hereafter he is never at rest till hee rest his last which yet is the beginning of a worse torment so he robs himselfe both of the pleasure of this life and of a better It is good to bee covetous of good things and labour for the food which perisheth not of this I will never have enough but pray Lord give me ever more of this bread ever and more All that God made at first was good He made them so He left them so if they be not still so the dishonour may be His the smart will be ours their goodnes consists in their good usage and our sinne in the abuse of them God make us but to remember why they were made and we cannot be to seek how they should be used Our Saviours commendation of Iohn Baptist was that hee was a burning and shining lampe the hypocrit like a glow-worme shines but burnes not others like hell fire burne but shine not and must looke to have their portion in the fire they resemble We are not excusable if we doe onely shine and not burne or burne and not shine the one we see condemned in the Laodiceans because they wanted heate the other in the foolish virgins because they wanted light Hee must first shine one earth that will after shine in heaven and burne on earth that will burne in hell Rest is the whetstone of labour And that which we usually say of hope is true of this if it were not for rest the heart would breake wherefore God hath given for every day a night to rest in and for every seven a day and a night We could not live if wee had not this yet this must not be our life to live at ease he shall never enter into Gods rest that so loves his owne Every one almost with the Iewes is weather wise and prognosticates without booke when you see a cloud arise out of the west ye say there comes a showre c. hypocrites that can discerne the face of the weather and not of the times how vainely are men inquisitive for the provision of their bodies and let their soules shift you will not plant or graft without consulting with your neighbours and your almanack but in the point of salvation huddle on and the Minister and Gods Word is not intended How ill holp up art thou to know the state of the heavens and not of thy soule If thou wilt needs contemplate it behold it as thy home not as thy Calendar to better not thy knowledge but thy life or thy knowledge of a better life and thy desire of that place where the Father of life is and where thou desirest to live God made not death neither delights He in the destruction of the living ôh God suffer not that which thou diddest not make to prevaile over that which thou hast made and redeemed Man is the glory of His maker and thy glorie thou wilt not give to another and suffer not us to sell that glorie thou hast allreadie given that we lose not our
more to redeeme the world than to make it He that made mee with a word speaking when he redeemed me spake and wept and bled and dyed to doe it what can I thinke too much to endure for his sake that was made a curse for mine It is with us heere as with Gedeons fleece one while the ground is wet and the fleece is drye another while the fleece is wet and the ground is drye Sometime wee have Raine and Faire Weather would doe better anon it is Faire and Raine would be welcommer And it fares with our bodies as with our estates now happily we have health and want meanes then againe wee have other things and want health all our delight here is like our selves fading and many times with Balthazar we are fetch'd off in the mids of our jollitie Nothing here but ebbing and flowing tumult and alteration in heaven onely shall we rest from our labours now if wee love our ease why doe we so love our lives The good man takes his God as he doth his wife for richer for poorer in sicknesse and in health we may not alwaies judge of Gods favour by His bounty I am but a novice in Religion if I thinke I cannot be Gods sonne and miserable Commonly those men are hottest in the pursuit of honour that least deserve it While deservednesse sits still and bides his leasure that gives and takes where he list and when and how and to whom and at last is importun'd to the place not for the good he shall receive but for that he may doe he will not be great upon all termes but will rather endure poverty thā part with his honesty and not sell his soule to buy a purchase What will it profit a man to gaine the world and lose his soule Christ is in us as the soule is in the body hee gives life wee are in Christ as the branches in the Vine whence we receive life Let our care be to offer up our selves living sacrifices to him of whom wee live and moove 'T is all hee requires an egge of his owne Bird some minutes of that time which hee hath given us What can I doe lesse one good turne requires another if I love not those that love mee I come short of Infidells Selfe-conceitednesse is the sinne in fashion 'T is a hard matter not to thinke well of our selves I am not behinde the least of the Apostles yee know the Voice and if he had not beene buffeted hee had beene exalted above measure and carried higher in conceite than he was before in his extasie he that well remembers from what he once fell cannot but be ashamed of what hee is and fall yet lower Oh Lord I am lesse than the least of thy mercies Malice never wants a marke He who hath nothing hath something to bee envied for and if nothing else he is envied for this that he is content with his nothing It is hard to bee prosperous and bee loved at once Those that will be great shall be envied it is hard but safe to be contented with a little but if I cannot avoyd ill tongues my care shall be no to deserve them and then let Shimei curse I seldome see sinne but in a religious tire Nay but I reserv'd them for sacrifice was Sauls to Samuel for sacrifice not for prey Goodnesse is the best disguise of evill either seeme what thou art or be what thou seemest God is not mocked Their sinne is more unpardonable that sinne of purpose malice leaves the owner as without excuse so without hope Sinnes of ignorance excuse a tanto save some blowes I may and doe sinne dayly against my will I will not against my knowledge What more glorious Master than God What better Mother than the Church How glorious is that calling that at once serves such a Master and such a Mother As it is our glory to serve them so it must be our glory to doe them good service God in us sets the world copies of piety and wee must live to others no lesse than preach As we are more eye so we are more look'd at motes in others eyes are beames in ours many things are lawfull that are not expedient and some things are expedient in respect of the person that are scandalous meerely for the chaire that which is reproveable in another is in us a reproach seeing it is so what manner of men ought we to be Promotions are neither from the East nor from the West but from God He that hath them and not of His gift hath them with a vengeance who would not rather wish to want than to be great so There was never any that was not ambitious every man is borne a Corah onely some more superlative than other But of all men I most wonder at those that are ambitious onely to be talk'd of and since they cannot bee notable they would bee notorious and with Cain bee mark'd though for murtherers Whether I know much or am knowne of many it matters not onely this I will care for that God may not say to me in the last day I know thee not Pride is good to none worst to it selfe when Adam would better his knowledge hee lost his dwelling in Paradise and when those builders of Babel would mend their dwelling they lost their knowledg The itch of being great potent or pointed at how many hath it undone I will never care to be or to know that which I know shall repent me what commendations is it to have beene some-body The tongue is the only betrayer of the minde The foole while he is silent is not discovered I will not be more thriftie of any thing than of my speech I had rather be thought to know a little than be knowne to know nothing There is but one thing a Christian need desire of God that 's a cleane heart Create a new heart c. there is but this one thing that God desires of a Christian his heart My sonne give me thy heart and this I will onely desire to have that I may give A broken and a contrite heart Oh God thou wilt not despise The Kings daughter is all glorious within but yet her rayment too is of wrought gold our outside our life must tell the world what we are within If our lives doe not answere our profession we are Pharisees we say and doe not It is a common fault to forget what we have beene when wee are changed for the better how many have beene resolved for heaven in their sicknesse that in their whole skinne have disclaim'd it and requited the recovery of the body with a relapse of the soule To receive good at the hands of the Lord and not evill is unreasonable to expect but to receive good at the hands of the Lord and returne evill is wicked and not to be endured I will never pray more hartily to God for a blessing than for grace to manage it Wherefore should I be
to all men once to dye death is a punishment of sinne not sinne itselfe yet sure it is the height of punishment when it is suddaine I doe not desire not to dye at all but not all at once I know I must dye and I thinke of my death yet is it not alwayes in my thoughts the best of us all may be taken napping I will ever pray God when he doth fell me not to doe it at a blowe that I may see my selfe falling and bethink me in the fall and thus it is a comfortable thing to fall into the hands of the living God He that knowes his masters will and doth it not shall be beaten with many stripes and yet I cannot say whether shall bee worse beaten hee that may know it and will not or hee that doth know it and doth it not the one sinnes against his knowledge the other sinnes because hee will not know and shall one day not be knowne God made this world not barely to looke on but to contemplate on and of Him in it here the Christian the Philosopher part they are led by reason we by faith they argue we beleeve they enquire the manner how all were made the Christian why He is not curious in the manner but lookes at the end for the glorie of God and the way to our glorie and useth them not for spectacles but motives to the glorifying of him of whom he hath them and if wee enjoy these as we should we shall one day enjoy him from whom we enjoy them This World is oft compar'd unto a sea our life is the Shippe we are the passengers the grave is the common haven Heaven is the shore and well is the grave compar'd unto a haven for there wee unload the things of this world are neither borne with us nor doe dye with us we goe out of this world as we came into it naked why are wee so covetous of those things which are so hard to get and so certaine to be lost If I enjoy them all I shall not enjoy them long or if enjoy but some I shall shortly have use of none I will comfort my selfe against the want of them with the assurance that I shall one day not have need of them Who can but once look backe upon his creation and dares distrust God for his preservation whether is it easier to give or to continue life to keepe thee or to make thee If He have given thee the greater why dost thou distrust Him for the less Or if thou distrust Him for earth how will you take His word for Heaven Oh God they have forgot of whō they live that distrust thee for their life This life is a race and wee doe not live but travell but we have another race beside this of our soule as well as of our bodie since both must bee runne and the one will not tarrie for the other I will trie who can runne fastest if I have finished my life not my course I have made more haste than good speede Every thing else hath a beginning it is onely Gods title Which was and is and is to come Eternity is only there our glory must be not that wee have liv'd ever but shall doe so If wee looke but out into the World we shall see almost as many miracles as things that trees and plants should every yeare dye and recover that the Sunne should only lighten and warme the earth and not burne it that the heavens should distill its raine in drops and not in rivers full and drowne us where they do but wet us God is not lesse miraculous in preserving the World than in making it and as His mercie so His glorie is over all His workes Religion with some men is but a matter of fashion Many are of Agrippa's Religion almost Christians such men shall be saved as they doe beleeve almost God will never owne such halfe-fac'd followers The hypocrisie of a Pharisee would have shamed thee into an outside of Christianitie and unlesse your righteousnesse exceede the righteousnes of the Scribes and Pharisees you cannot enter c. It is not onely want of grace but wit to dissemble where we may be discernd if I will needs bee a Christian I will be one to some purpose I heare men cōmended now adaies as the Lord did the unjust steward because they deale wisely not honestly 't is held no crime to deceive but to be seene to be discovered that 's a foule fault he is a novice that doth that the care of many is not to live innocent but close they cast how to go as Saul to Endor to the Divell in a disguise but they cosen onely mens eyes Gods they cannot and since they will not be knowne for what they are now they shall not be knowne for what they would be one day God shall say unto them Depart from me yee workers of iniquitie I know you not To dissemble sinne was never the way to be pardon'd it only he that confesseth his sinne shall finde mercie never be asham'd to say what thou wer't not asham'd to do blush to commit them but not to tell of them it is better that the world note thee for a sinner than God for an hypocrite Some there are that heare onely to tell and many times make differences where there were none meant it is not good alwaies to tell all wee heare many a man speaks that in his anger which in coole bloud he would not owne and we doe a double wrong by relating that which the one is sorrie to heare and the other to have spoken when he is himselfe I will heare all and report onely the best he that makes debate betweene others layes a baite for himselfe it is safe and honest to compose discords but sowe none I will labour what I can to set others together but not by the eares When wee behold for who can choose such a world of sinnes in every corner of the world buyers and sellers in the temple and not whipped out selling our soules for the provision of their bodies others with Zimri Cosbi out-facing judgement how doe we not wonder and blesse our selves that we enjoy so good so much some thing any thing that Pharaohs leane kine are not seene amongst us and the metamorphosis of famine of the heavens to Brasse and the earth to Iron that either the clouds are not shut to with-hold their raine or that the windowes of heaven are not opened to raine not water but fire and brimstone It is admirable where the fact is so foule that the reprive is so long Oh Lord we have nothing to say for our selves but acknowledge it is thy mercie that wee are not consumed Good natures are wonne rather with intreatie than curstnesse if wee doe not more love God for His goodnesse that He doth preserve us then feare Him for His power that He can destroy us His mercies are ill bestow'd and worse
imploy'd wee have not receiv'd the spirit of bondage to feare I will love God and honour Him but I will be affraid onely of offending Him God loves timely holinesse remember thy Creator in the daies of thy youth Nature ever begins at the wrong end layes in and layes up indeed but for the theefe and the moth With Absalom the first care is taken to leave a monument behind and when they are setled upon earth they will see if God have any thing to say to them for Heaven the best part is the last provided such shall one day have their heaven to seeke because they will not have it to seeke now He that will not when he may c. You know the Proverbe He that doth not seeke the Lord while He may be found cannot complaine if he do afterward seek and not finde All sinnes are forbidden trees to us and wee are so much ADAMS sonnes in nothing as in our disobedience ever reaching after that wee should not to do good there is a lion in the way like Salomons sluggard but to evil how swift are our feet So then it is not going fast that carries us to Heaven but going right I will care rather to set my foot down sure than to take it up quicke What am I the neerer to goe a great pace and the wrong way Every man is his own worst foe and his greatest enemies are those of his owne house we may thanke our selves that we live at no more ease than we doe In the sweat of thy browes thou shalt eate thy meate was of our own procuring We had never known so much evill if we had not desired to know too much good our ambition hindered our preferment we were at first made happie and we made our selves miserable now we are miserable God hath chalked out a way to our happinesse now if we love misery rather than blisse it is fit we should have enough on 't A good man still the longer hee lives the better he dyes men should grow better as they grow older not like a dead hedge the longer it stands the rottener To see a man white in his leprosie leaving the world and not his avarice and with S. Lukes foole dye thinking of his barnes is horrible I had rather have no portion on earth than buy it with that I shall have in Heaven I will not with the Curre in the fable part with my flesh for its shadow The way to sweeten death is to thinke of it every day I live I will remember I might dye and I will not desire to live a day longer than I growe some drammes better What will it benefit me that I have liv'd some houres which I cannot answere for Worldly minds mind nothing but Worldly things Laban and Nabal think of nothing but their sheep-shearing and making merry when they have done their businesse is thought on not their salvation for they make that no part of the businesse onely matter of course grudge God His service and in His service the length of it and pay God His due as Laban did Iacob his wages with an ill wil and would fetch it back again if they could tell how and yet these men that will steale time from God for their profit and their businesse will steale time from their businesse for their pleasure He that will breake the Sabbath for an houres work will breake off his work for an houres drinking Thus they prefer the humoring of their soules to the saving of them I will never sell Heaven for company it is better being a good Christian than a good fellow Every man would be thought to bee in love with heaven and yet most men are loth to shake hands with earth here is the difference betweene the heavenly Language and ours they cry how long Lord how long and we crie how soone they think He stayes too long and we thinke He comes too fast I will labour to bee a follower of those with whom I would be partner he hath not yet enough conn'd Heaven that is doth to goe to it that voice onely is worthy an Apostle I desire to be dissolved and to bee with CHRIST The just man shall live by his faith and others live by his charitie true faith is seene in its workes he that sayes he beleeves and doth not shew it beleeve him not To make shew of beleeving and not in thy workes is to shew thy Hypocrisie but not thy saith Not every one that eats his meat in the sweat of his browes shal eat bread in the Kingdome of Heaven and yet it is not eaten but with sweating neither but 't is such a sweat as will make thy heart ake and not thy lims prizes are not had but with hazard hee that will drink of the water of the Well of Bethel with Davids Worthies must thorow his enemies the water of life is not had but with hazard of our lives My comfort shall be that though I lose my life for CHRISTS sake I shall not lose my labour Or who would not lose this life which he is ever looking to leave for that which he is sure ever to enjoy Oh Lord wee want lives to lose I cannot endure enough to come to Heaven This life as if it would never be done is ever providing for Eternall life as if it would never begin is never preparing for I will care for this life but not dote on it I will remember I shall live ever but not here The love of the earth is the disease of the world and that gulfe betweene Abrahams bosome and us to forsake house and land c that they do not like of if Christ would but leave out that same leave all men would doe well enough with Him they would enjoy this world but not with the losse of a better Againe they would enjoy that but not with the losse of this they would have their Canaan but they would have their flesh-pots they love the blessing but they would not lose their pottage with Naaman they will worship no other god but yet the Lord be mercifull c. when I enter into the house of the god Rimmon They would so please God as they might neither displease others nor themselves would part stakes with God let such juglers in religion look upon Saul in the Old Testament and Ananias in the New and read their judgement what society hath light with darknesse The Arke Dagon were never friendly householders thou canst not at once have two such guests as GOD and the divel If one heaven could not hold them both how shall one heart No man is so provident for his owne good as God is for every mans every sinner is an Absalom to Him and He doth not only wish Would God I had dyed for thee c. But dyed indeed we doe not so desire our owne salvation as He doth all ours promiseth perswadeth begges our obedience He leaves no way untried
courses to overthrow their health as if God had nothing to doe but to waite on them they are never well when they are well but when they are doing of ill where the affliction is Gods wee may challenge Him of helpe where the disease is debauchnes He may challenge us of sinne when our sicknesse is His correction it is comfortable but when we need to bee corrected for our sicknesse it is fearefull what God laies upon us is to be boarne what men bring upon themselves is not to be answered and if in mercy thou art delivered Go and sinne no more lest a worse thing come unto thee Ill weeds grow apace wicked men like Aegyptian grashoppers ly in heaps when the good like Noah in his Arke are two or three in a corner our blessed Saviour as Hee could never say otherwise said true The way had neede be wide that leadeth to destruction for many there bee that finde it They must looke to suffer that look to reigne this world is Gods house of correction for His Children wee must not think not to have crosses wee must studie to make the best of them I will thinke of afflictions before they come that when they come I may bid them welcom while they tarrie I will make use of them and when they go I will take leave of them onely as of an Ague for a well day or two but to come againe In Heaven all vessells shall be full but none shall runne over here on earth I see some runne over and yet complain of emptinesse they have not enough if they have not all Thus I have seene some beasts not knowing when they were well burst with feeding they had more than enough if they could be content another should have more than they if they could but be lesse envious they would be lesse covetous all Vessels beare not the same sailes those do but speed a tall Ship wherewith a Bark is overborn wee know not our owne strength submitte ourselves to Him that doth Hee that gives us all wee have knowes we have all we should have and that if wee had more wee would sinke that man that thinkes hee is never full is never thankfull Whether I abound or am poore I will endevour but these two to be thankfull and to be content Crosses are harsh but they are the best Physike I know not whether prosperity have lost or adversity recover'd more none praies so heartily for His daily bread as Hee that wants it miserie like Ionah's fish sends them to their prayers that never thought of GOD under their goard it is pitty faire weather should doe any harm yet it is often seen we even adore those Physicians in our sicknesse which being recovered wee onely salute with a complement abundance makes many forget those friends which want wold make crouch to how welcom should that state be which makes us familiar with God I will not I may not wish for afflictions nor meet them I am good Christian enough if I can be content to be poore and not desirous Our practice must be not to make much of crosses but to make use of them yet I had rather endure a world of crosses to come to God than to be crossed in nothing in this world and once want him let my sinnes rather be punished then sooth'd oh God let my hell be here CHRIST hath many followers but few disciples GOD hath many creatures but few sonnes GODS flocke is a little one one of a family two of a tribe like the Prophet Esaiahs tall Tree heere and there a berrie in the toppe of a bough there are many of Israel but few Israelites many that have Abraham to their father but a few his children Many that came out of his loines but few that shall sit in his bosome Goodnes goes not by multitude the many followers may shew thy greatnesse not thy holinesse the most are commonly the worst How fondly then how falsely do any boast of the truth of their religion by their multitude Every thing we say is the worse for wearing it is true of the world the older the more corrupt we are forewarn'd of the last daies that they shall be notoriously wicked the world did almost begin with sinne but it shall end in a manner with nothing but sinne and that in fire Here 's our comfort the just are no part of the world If we had not knowne sinne we had not knowne sicknes and now we know not how to be wel of our sinne but by Him against whom wee have sinned our health is from God our sicknesse is from our selves Heale thy selfe is only for that Physician to whom it was upbraided it is not Saul and his witch or Asa and his Physicians can prevent death or a disease without God all is originally from him yet derivatively by meanes I will use the one but I will trust onely the other if wee are confident either without them or in them we presume Whilest we are here we are in continuall want of somewhat either our mindes are sicke or else our bodies diseases or discontents How should wee long for that place where we shall enjoy nothing but rest and want nothing but a consummation of our rest This world is a lyer and he will find it so that serves it riches like their master are full of deceit promise that they have not How many have we seen that have thoght no joy but in abundance have after ended their joy where they begin to abound and at last envied the quiet rest and merry meales of their labourers To impatient inconstant mindes the present state is ever cumbersome and they would change thogh for a worse If wee can but make the best of our owne and thinke our selves well even when others thinke not so wee are happy men Why should I think that grievous which God thinkes fit If there were no providence I would struggle but now it is hard to kicke against the prickes Lord be it unto thy servant according to thy will Pleasures are pleasing but they are vanishing the Pharisies were not so truly painted sepulchers as these faire but rotten fading nor onely dying but killing Like guilded pills save that they are not Physicke but small and ill tasted if they were either not short or but sweet there were some colour for loving them But now they are not lasting and yet unsavoury Why are we not ambitious of those pleasures which are beyond al time for length and all conceit for sweetnesse Some men are afraid to sinne because they are afraid to smart for their sinne they would goe on in their sinnes if they could go away with them it doth not so much trouble them to be wicked as to be tormented and their study is not that they may not provoke God but that they may run away from Him Oh God if we could runne out of the world we should run farther into thy judgements Oh God if we go downe