thee and be thou confounded and ashamed of all thy iniquities consider who thy Creator is and who thou art how he hath behaved himself towards thee and what ungrateful returns thou hast made in requital to him Thou hast made me O Lord when I was not and that according to thy own Image and from the very instant of my being hast been my God my Father and my Deliverer and with the benefits of thy providence hast preserved my life even till this present moment II. But because these things O Heavenly Father cost thee nothing to bind me more fast to thee thou hast given me a present which cost thee dear thou didst come down from Heaven to seck me in all those ways in which I had lost my self by thy captivity thou hast loosed my bonds and by delivering thy self into the hands of sinners thou hast delivered me from the power of the Devil and by taking upon thee the form of a sinner thou hast destroyed my sin these things thou didst to allure and bind me unto thee and to strengthen my hope to make me detest and abhor sin by beholding what thou hast done and suffered to over throw the Kingdom of sin O how can I without tears call to remembrance how oft times thou mightest justly have bereaved me of my life how many thousand Souls now peradventure burn in Hell who have less sinned than I and yet I burn not there how then can I be so ungrateful as not to prize the large extent of that mercy which cannot be comprehended Monday morning a Preparatory Prayer to the Holy Sacrament O Almighty Lord God thou hast called me to thine holy Table and hast set out a part of consecrated Bread and Wine for me I acknowledge my Ignorance that I must be instructed by such means as thou in thy bounty hast appointed for me and I acknowledge thy divine goodness that thou vouchsafest me to be taught by those 〈…〉 of Grace whereby I may come to that of 〈…〉 I do hear thy word and thy dear Son is 〈…〉 my â—â—r I receive this Sacrament 〈…〉 ffered unto my eye in the testimony of these two witnesses this truth is established in my heart that my Saviour suffered death for my sins II. As it hath pleased thee thus to offer me thy favour so I beseech thee give me that grace whereby I may walk worthy of it Am I thus invited to the heavenly Banquet to the Table of the King of Kings O let me not go without my wedding Garment last the Bridegroom of this Feast say unto me how comest thou in hither without thy richest vestments which are suitable to this great solemnity thou hast now commanded me to examine my self and let me now try and examine my heart and be acquainted with it whereby I may find out all my spiritual wants and necessities and look how I stand in thy sight by making a severe scrutiny into my self The Jews would not eat with unwashed hands dare I eat with an unwashed heart they would not drink but their Vessels must be purified and dare I now drink and my soul not purified before the passover they sanctified themselves and before this Sacrament shall not I now prepare my self I desire to do it Lord help my desire lest eating and drinking unworthily I eat and drink my own damnation A Prayer before examination O Holy Jesus who art a merciful embracer of true penitents but yet a consuming fire to obstinate offenders I am now preparing my self to come to thy holy Table unfeignedly confessing my own unworthiness committed against thy divine Majesty I have sinned against thee many ways and that since I last received this most holy Sacrament I have not known thee in thy word beheld thee in thy works apprehended thee in thy Son served thee in the Spirit applyed thee by Faith fâ—â—râ—d thee for thy Justice nor admired thee as I ought for thy great mercies I have not frequented thine House heard thy word laid it up in my heart nor practiced it in my life as I ought to do 〈…〉 even I by the lusts of my eyes the lusts of thâ— flâ—sh and the pride of life have dishonoured thy great and glorious name and when thou hast forgiven me ten thousand Talents I would not forgive my Brother a hundred Pence II. As one deep calls upon another the depth of misery upon the depth of mercy what shall I say unto thee O thou Preserver of all men much more what shall I do to inherit eternal life I will arise and go unto God my Father and say unto him Father I have sinned against Heaven and in thy sight and am no more worthy to be called thy Son but thou hast said that he which hideth his sins shall not prosper but he which confesseth them shall obtain mercy I confess and am truly sorrowful I have sinned Lord do pardon and forgive me all my sins and grant that in the whole course of my life hereafter I may live to the honour of thy great name and to the comfort and salvation of my own Soul III. O Lord give unto me now a broken heart a contrite spirit a sorrowful soul and a mind hungring and thirsting after Jesus Christ and his righteousness give me I beseech thee grace to know thee the only true God the Creator and preserver of all mankind O give me grace now to feel the burthen of all my sins and that thou wilt speak peace unto my soul and say unto it thou art my salvation O let me be eased of this lump of sin by washing it away with the Blood of thy dear Son I do believe Lord help my unbelief I am sorry for my sins make me to be heartily and unfeignedly sorrowful I promise to live nearer to thee than ever I have done give me power to perform my promise I forgive all that have wronged me even as thou for Christs sake hast forgiven me let this forgiveness of mine be without dâ—ssimulation and Lord grant that I may humble my self under the sense of my ignorance and dulness and weakness and wickedness and spiritual deadness of heart and having emptied my self of my self I may receive of thy fulness and grace for grace in whose name I put up these my imperfect prayers OVr Father which art in Heaven hallowed be thy name thy Kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven give us this day our daily Bread and forgive us our trepasses as we forgive them that trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil Amen Still upon your knees say ALmighty God unto whom all hearts be open all desires known and from whom no secrets are hid cleanse the thoughts of my heart by the inspiration of thy holy Spirit that I may perfectly love thee and worthily magnify thy holy name through Christ our Lord. Amen Some heads of self examination by the X. Commandments to be expressed on
my misguided Conscience and further assure me of the pardon of my sins and interest in his love and favour by the renewed use of his sacred Ordinances XII To which he calls and invites me both by the outward overture of fit occasions and inward incitation of good and earnest desires to pertake of them as the pledges and conduits of my greatest comfort and happiness which happiness I esteem and seek after not only in a freedom from the punishment and misery of my sin but from the power of and the pleasure that seems to be in sin nor do I count it a less degree of Grace and Mercy which enables me to serve and love him than that which saves me from Hell Torments nor do I come to the Sacrament only to quit the score of my sins but to get strength and grace against them to deny mortify and overcome them which above all things that the World accounts will I most abhor and desire to avoid and am most grieved if I do not I make new and reinforced vows and resolutions between God and my Soul against my sinful self which although I have often failed to keep as I intended yet I am not quite overcome while I truly desire pray and endeavour to get the victory and am never more displeased than when I fail of it XIII Thus having tryed and renewed my repentance by my sighs sorrow and humiliation for sin my serious purpose and earnest prayer against sin my faith by my love of God dependence upon him submission to him desire to please him arising out of an apprehension and perswasion of his love to my Soul my love to God and my Saviour by my hatred of sin fear to and greif for offending by my love of his Servants delight in his word zeal for his truth and glory an earnest desire and stedfast hope to enjoy him and by my particular appetite and desires to this holy Sacrament as a special means of communion with my God and Saviour and pertaking of his Grace My charity and love to others by my care and endeavour by all means to further their Souls good by my affectionate prayes for them though they have deserved ill of me by my tenderness of giving offence my slowness to take offence by my grief when any arise by my proneness and joy in reconciling and though I find all these graces in me but in weak and small degrees with mixture of much infirmity and many imperfections nay a contrary power daily opposing and with much impatience striving to break the Cords of pious and solemn resolutions I am as well becomes me humbled and emptied of all opinions of my self XIV Yet am I not discouraged from coming since what did most deter me in it self from coming to Christ my sin and unworthiness is by the operation of faith made as the greatest incitement to provoke me to come being one whose great wants and unworthiness will afford a fit subject whereon to magnifie the Riches of that free Grace and infinite mercy which becomes the majesty of God and may answer the merits of our Saviour from whom as a principle of a new life I expect all the grace comfort strength and happiness which I want and to whom I give the glory of all that I enjoy who as the head derives to every part of his body the Church life motion health and whatever is in his own fullness and perfection whose love and compassion to my Soul to all Eternity will be too little to comprehend and magnify XV. Which that I may more fully discover I have a more lively assurance of be more thankfully affected and live more worthy of it I repeat again this sacred memorial and seal of his love and mercy having first sought by frequent earnest and humble prayer and in some measure obtained the assistance of his holy Spirit which by its preparatory Grace stirs up earnest and hungring desires to receive renew its habitual graces planted in my heart Knowledge Faith Repentance love of God charity to others and thankfulness by actuating a new before I receive assistance in receving by Sacred devout and pertinent Meditations seals and testifies to my Conscience my acceptance and efficacy of receiving by increase of holiness in my heart and care of better obedience in my life after the surest evidence and truest I can have or expect of my worthy receiving XVI Having thus faithfully discharg'd my Duty and Conscience in the way of preparation to the Sacrament though still conscious to and humbled in the consideration of my own unworthiness in any proportion to the great good I aim at yet I will not deprive my self of so neâ—r and inestimable a comfort by refraining nor dare l so far distrust the mercy of God and dignation of my Saviour who propounds not my personal worthiness in a strict sense as the object of my comfort and hopes in coming but his gracious acceptance and merciful indulgence such indeed as becomes the infinite goodness and honour of the Christians God and Saviour XVII The same holy frame and devout temper of Spirit I labour to continue in my receiving carrying my Faith by the visible Representations before me and given to me to behold its invisible but most credible object Jesus Christ crucified and dying for my sins whose love and merits I consider with as great an obligation of love thankfulness and obedience upon me as if he had laid down his life for me alone these meditations raise me to thankfulness to admiration to exaltation of the love of God my Saviour above all XVIII Finally so I endeavour to receive this blessed Sacrament as if each opportunity were my last as if I were to appear before God in Judgment that in the power of that grace I there receive I may live the remainder of my short life virtuously and holily in the hope of its reward and perfection in Heaven I may die willingly and chearfully in the Merit and Righteousness of it I may attain to the Resurrection of the just appear justified before God at the last and great day and obtain the Consummation of all in that glorious estate of Immortality with God and Christ in Heaven XIX The Duty of examining my self is by precept clearly enjoyning me by the Spirit of God let a Man therefore examine himself and so let him eat of that Bread and Drink of that Cup 1. Cor. 11. Chap 28. verse which alone were enough to exact my performance but since all the commands of God who is the most perfect reason to rational Creatures are most reasonable though oft times ignorance or blindness doth not or will not discover it to the equity of this injunction my own reason must needs subscribe for knowing that every thing is received according to the capacity and disposition of the recipient and that a worldly sensual and meer humane mind is unapt to receive things intellectual Spiritual and Divine and perceive objects the
your knees God speak those words and said I am the Lord thy God thou shalt have none other Gods but me Lord have mercy upon me and incline my heart to keep this Law Self examination by the first Commandment If I have not absolutely denied Gods being or in a gross manner renounced him by Apostacy yet Have I not been angry with the Almighty murmuring and complaining against him in an adversity or trouble which he hath been pleased to lay upon me as though he were not both just and merciful Have I had such a confidence and trust in God as I ought to have had together with such a strength and consolation as ordinarily a lively confidence brings with it Have I not put all my confidence in the world and on the things which belong to it fearing man who can only kill the body more than God who can cast both Soul and Body into everlasting torments Have I not denyed my Maker by refusing to wait on him in his holy ordinances or if I have been there have I not been guilty of irreverence and cold devotion Lord have mercy upon me and pardon the breach of this Commandment II. Commandment Thou shalt not make to thy self any graven Image nor the likeness of any thing which is in Heaven above or in the Earth beneath or in the water under the Earth thou shalt not bow down to them nor worship them for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God and visit the sins of the Fathers upon the Children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me and shew mercy unto thousands in them that love me and keep my Commandments Lord have mercy upon me and incline my heart to keep this Law Self examination by the II. Commandment Though I have not set up a graven Image nor fallen down to worship any yet Have I not been troubled with the Fool in my heart in laying up treasures which a 〈…〉 liable to Corruption and idolizing the vain pomps and vanities of this wicked world by covetousness which is I do latry If I have abhorred Idols have I not been guilty of Sacrilege robbing of God in his Tithes and Offerings not extending my charity to the poor as I ought to do but fixing my mind more on the Creature then on the Creator Have I not made a God of my belly by luxuriousness indulging my self with carnal delights and sensual appetites and have been hurried away by every wind of Doctrin Lord have mercy upon me and pardon the breach of this Commandment Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain Lord have mercy upon me and incline my heart to keep this Law Self examination by the III. Commandment If I have not blasphemously profaned Gods nâ—mâ— yet Have I not taken his holy name in my mouth with much irreverence and jestingly and scoffingly abused his holy ordinances Have I not taken many false Oaths and Protestations and have been guilty of too frequent and customary swearing cursing by the dreadful name of God which is only to be mentioned for blessing and adoration Have I been careful to keep those lawful Oaths I have taken as my Baptismal vow or any other Oath which was administred lawfully to me without being guilty of the breach of them Have I not neglected to call upon that name whereby alone I must receive salvation and have turned the grace of God into wantonness to the destruction of my own Soul Lord have mercy upon me and pardon the breach of this commandment IV. Commandment Remember that thou keep holy the Sabbath day six days shalt thou labour and do all that thou hast to do but the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God in it thou shalt do no manner of work thou and thy Son and thy Daughter thy Man servant and thy Maid-servant thy Cattle and the Stranger that is within thy Gates For in six days the Lord made Heaven and Earth the Sea and all that in them is and rested the seventh day wherefore the Lord blessed the seventh day and hallowed it Lord have mercy upon me and incline my heart to keep this Law Self examination by the IV. Commandment If I have not actually ossiciated on that day my worldly calling or employment yet Did I spend my time in the House of God as I ought to do to praise him for all his mercies bestowed upon me Have not I omitted Prayers and Sermons and followed my own idle imaginations not caring at all for the Church but being weary of the Lords day like those in Amos 8. 5. who ask when will the Sabbath be gone that we may set forth Wheat Have I not invented ways to draw others from the service and worship of God by vain sports and idle discourses not remembring to praise God on this day for the Creation and joyful Resurrection Have I at home instructed my Family as I ought to do but on the contrary have neglected those duties of prayers reading and meditation Lord have mercy upon me and pardon the breach of this Commandment V. Commandment Honour thy Father and thy Mother that thy days may be long in the Land which the Lord thy God giveth thee Lord have mercy upon me and incline my heart to keep this Law Self examination by the V. Commandment If I have not grosly abused my parents by cursing or swearing at them yet Have I not spoken meanly and lightly of my superiors and instead of obeying them have made it my study to oppose and contradict them Have I not been undutiful to them in several respects as not hearkning to their Counsel not taking their reprooss with meekness and humility but have despised and mocked them refusing to practice their exhortations not remembring the words of the wise Man Pro. 30. 17. The eye that mockeâ—h his Father and despiseth to obey his Mother the Reavens of the valleys shall pick it out and the young Eagles shall eat it Have not I wisht my Parents death out of greediness of gaining their possessions when rich and have I not when they were poor been so unnatural as to turn my back upon their necessities Lord have mercy upon me and pardon the breach of this Commandment VI. Commandment Thou shalt do no Murther Lord have mercy upon me and incline my heart to keep this Law Self examination by the VI. Commandment If I have not actually committed Murther yet Have I not drawn many to intemperance and other vices which cause diseases or bring death or have I not made strife among men by which means they have engaged themselves in quarrelling and in the encounter come off maimed or killed Have I not out of malice and revenge strove to shorten many ones life or have I not taken a delight to grind the face of the poor making them work of necessity for that which can never maintain their