it if it was capable of prâ—ducing this fruit What better râ—ward could I desire for the pains has cost me Some persons nevertheless haâ— been willing to persuade me that would be unjust to confine its whâ— effect to the conquest of one singâ— Man and that it might by runniâ— through the world gain several â—thers to the Empire of Hymeâ— Thus I was subdued to the solicitations of making it publick which have been made to me from divers places God grant that I may have no occasion to repent of it nor to apply to my Book what Ovid says with lamentation of some of his Writings Hei mihi quam paucos hac mea dicta movent Be indulgent Reader and forget not the saying of the ancient Sages That 't is easy to find fault but hard to excell Of the Parts of this BOOK PART I. Of the Excellence of Marriage pag 8. PART II. Of the Infamy of Incontinence pag. 60. PART III. Of the Motives that might reasonanably induce men to Marry pag. 83. PART IV. Where those objections which are made against Marriage and the false reasons that are alledged to rest unmarried are answered pag. 163. PART V. Of the means to Marry well and to live happy in Marriage pag. 215. ADVERTISEMENT MIscellanious Letter and Essays on several Subjects Philosophical Moral Historicaâ— Critical Amorous c. 〈◊〉 Prose and Verse Directed tâ— John Drayden Esq the Honorable George Granvill Esq Walter Moile Esq Mr. Dennis Mr. Congreve and otheâ— Eminent Men of the Age. B◠〈◊〉 al Gentlemen and Ladies â—ed for Benjamen Bragg â—e White-Heart over againsâ— â—r-Lane in Fleet-street Of the Excellency of Marriage of its Necessity and the means to live happily in it Together with the Apology of the Women against the Calumnies of the Men. THERE never was a bolder undertaking than that of this Book It s design is to establish an opinion which all Men oppose and to disengage them from an Error which is almost as ancient as the World We say every day a thousand injurious things of Marriage One would have it to be the Sepulchre of Pleasures Another looks upon it as a severe Bondage Even those who speak of it with most moderation cease not to term it a necessary Evil. Behold the error I design to confute On the otherside that Marriage is an excellent thing a happy condition and a Society full of sweetness is what exceeds belief It is even ridiculed and it is notwithstanding the truth which I propose my self to persuade Judge Sir what courage is necessary and what strong assurance one must have in the justice of his Cause to be able to prevent a repulse at the entrance of an attempt thaâ— is apparently so difficult Is it not here onâ— may truly affirm Hoc opus hic labor est You know that in effect nothing is more cried down in the World than Marriage People frame to themselves Ideas of it which cause an abhorrence I confess likewise thaâ— it has long served for a subject of detraction Where is he that has no merry Tale to relate of it or to speak better that has no iâ— reason to alledge in order to discourage others and to remove himself from it How acceptable is this Dilemma of the Philosopher those persons If thou Marryest I supposâ— thy Wife to be either handsome or ugly If she be ugly thou canst never love her if handsome thou wilt be jealous of her Whether one or t'other can one find ouâ— a severer punishment for thee How agreeable do they find this precept of another When thou art young say that it is too soon to Marry when old that it is too late How this comparison of Theodectes pleaseâ— them Marriage and Old-Age have this Resemblance to wit that Men equally desire to reach both where they are no sooner arrived but they begin to repent In a word with how much satisfaction do they hear that horrid invective of the most unjust of all men One passes but two good days with a Wife the Wedding-day and the day of her Death She is also good but in two places Vel in Thalamo vel in Tumulo either in her Bridal Bed or in her Grave As little equity as one may have can one observe without passion such vilifying of that fair half of Human-kind to whom it seems as if Nature had given all her Graces in possession The very Gods of our Metamorphosis have been affected with them They have often preferred the pleasure of being captivated under the Empire of our Mortal Goddesses before all the glory of Olympus Is it not surprizing after this that Men should affirm so much ill of them and that they should oppress their innocence with their injuries The contempt which they make of them ought to appear to us so much the more extraordinary as they cannot without them enjoy any satisfaction in life They might in some measure be able to make a shift without us buâ— we could neâ—eâ— excuse our selves from then If one believes Herodotus there was Kingdom of Women withouâ— Men The Amasons but there never was seâ— a Kingdom of Men withoâ—â— Women Even those who are insolent enough tâ— blame their defects in publick are often amorous enough to adore their Charms iâ— private witness he of whom one speakâ— That ridebat in choro amabat in thoro This false prejudice of the Men againâ— the Women is that which discourage them so much from Marriage and whaâ— ought likewise to make me despair of thâ— happy success of my undertaking if it waâ— not the most reasonable of the world But Sir my cause supports it self It is noâ— a particular one and of little consequence As much abandon'd as it is notwithstanding the most general and important causâ— that ever was since it is at the samâ— time the cause of God and Man of Heaven and Earth of Nature anâ— Grace of States and Families of the Church Militant and Church Triumphant May not one affirm in effect thaâ— all these different Subjects have an interest equally sensible in Marriage Is it not the ordinary Channel to give Chosen Vessels to God Faithfull ones tâ— the Church Members to the State Children to Families and to people Heaven and Earth with inhabitants What would become of the World without Marriage What would become of all Human-kind 'T is certain that it would soon be at an end and with it all our Interests This consideration animates my Courage and makes me even hope that in spight of the infatuation of Men and their bloudy Criticks against Marriage God will enable me to support its sacred rights and to convince them that in the bottom this of all conditions of life is most agreeable to them As to what remains I cannot make the Apology of Marriage without making that of this lovely Sex for whom all sensible men ought to have a veneration since by relation to Marriage it self it is the soundest and most considerable part I was
she esteems nothing more worthy of her tears than to have been unmarried and incapable of marrying I am perswaded that the Batchelors had the same desire for Marriage as the Maidens had and that both Sexes were under an equal passion for this condition of life We may infeâ— it from the prodigious multiplication oâ— the family of Jacob in Egypt When iâ— went down there it was composed but of seventy persons in all and when they departed from thence four hundred and thirty years after they were six hundred thousand Men without computing Women and Children Exod. 12.37 who in all appearance amounted to twice or thrice the number as it is easy to imagine Prodigious and scarce to be believed but in supposing what is true and that no People ever so much loved or practised Marriage as this ancient People and that they confin'd themselves under it's pleasing chains almost as soon as they distinguish'd reason This People Sir was the People of God whom he tenderly loved a People whom he lookt upon as his most valuable Treasure A People for whom he multiplied every day the wonders of his Providence and Wisdom In a word a People who ought by consequence to serve for an Example to all other People upon the Subject of Marriage which was in the midst of them and so much recommended and blest of God What do you suppose David calls the greatest of the blessings of God upon earth It is neither Riches nor Honours nor even a Crown He passes beyond all this without haesitation The happiness which he engages to him that fears God is to have a fruitful Bed and a numerous Posterity Would you know Sir those two men of all those whom the Scripture speaks of that I esteem to have been the most happy of the world Do not imagine that it is either a David or a Solomon or an Hezekiah They are Ibzan and Abdon If you ask me the reason Judges 12.9.14 you may read it in the Book of the Judges of Israel in whose number are they There you will find concerning the first that he had thirty Sons and thirty Daughters And of the second that he had forty Sons and thirty Grand-Children whom he saw all together on horse-back What can be a greater happiness to a Father What can be more observable in the life of a man It is likewise true that the sacred Author in speaking to us of those two famous Captains contents himself to report this single circumstance of them which in my opinion goes beyond all the great deeds of Caesar and Alexander You may apprehend it as you please but to me it seems that such a geniture contains somewhat very noble in it and that one cannot be observed in the History of Men through a siner place It must be granted that these Men well understood the Art of immortalizing their Families What Sir will not so great an Example encourage you to look after the Subsistence of yours would you suffer it to perish with your Name for want of marrying will you always entertain a repugnance for Marriage will you never divest your self of those false Ideas you have conceiv'd thereof will you always be ingenious to frame to your self in order to remove your self from it such punishments as do not exist which I shall make appear in the sequel and will you never be convinced of those real delights which I have shewn to be in that state and which ought to attract the whole world It is the only advantage that is wanting to your happiness But assure your self that without this all the rest is of no value As well provided as you are with the goods of Fortune and Morals can you fail to please your self in Hymen and to partake of pleasures a thousand times more affecting than those which can be found in the happiest Celibacy How much satisfaction shall you give to those illustrious persons to whom you owe all things with your being what glory shall you not obtain by adding to their comfort what they desire with the utmost zeal can you decently refuse them this mark of your acknowledgment must they go down to the grave without seeing a young Sprig shoot forth from you that may assure them their Name and Blood will not perish with you will you give them cause to make this sad complaint of you Tecum una tota est nostra Sepulta domus Catull. ad Mal. 69. Grisly Grave is buried our whole house Spare them this heaviness and your self this confusion Do not render your self guilty of your own annihilation Become jealous of your glory Determine your self at last to this generous action whereof one might truly say with reâ—ard to your family â—ota domus laeta est paterque materque The whole family rejoyces Hearken to the Precept of a wise man Ne maneas sine nuptiis ne sine nomine pereas Phociâ— Live not unmarry'd lest you dy without a name An ancient Author of Paganism it is Musonius examining the Motives of Marriage finds none more pressing than those I have offered After having much enlarged upon this matter and in a wise and eloquent way he at length concludes his discourse with these words Quisquis igitur homines nuptiis privat is abolet familiam Muson apud Stobaeum Serm. 186. civitatem totum genus humanam quod absque generatione non potest permanere ut neque justa legitima generatio sine nuptijs Since then without a continual Series of Generations Families Common-wealths and all humane Kind would be absolutely annihilated and that Marriage is the sole lawful cause of these Generations according to the remark of this learned man judge of the obligation you are under to marry The heavenly voice seems to call you to it Resist no longer its Vocation But to the end that you may know all the Engagements you are under to pay obedience to it make some reflections if you please upon the quality of the faithful which you have taken into the bosom of the Church This Sir is the greatest motive which ought to determine you for Marriage It even recollects in it self all the rest What do you take the Church to be It is according to St. Paul the City of the living God Jerusalem from on high Heb. 12.22.23 the Mother of us all The Assembly of the first-born whose names are written in the Heavens 1 Tim. 5. â—5 The Pillar and Support of Truth The house of God The Common-wealth of Israel according to the Spirit The divine Family whereof God is the Father Jesus Christ the eldest Son and the Elect the younger ones if one may be allowed to speak so Tell me I beseech you if in all these regards there is any thing more precious in the world than the Church Tell me likewise if there is any thing to whose Subsistence men are more obliged to contribute What are all our Interests in comparison of that If
you ask me the true reason that ought to make us desire the propagation of Mankind the duration of States and the Conservation of Families It is nothing else but the Subsistence of the Church which is infinitely more excellent than the World and all its Societies This ought to be the chiefest end of all our Vows and all our Cares How ought a Christian do you think to endeavour the advancement of this Mystical Empire of Jesus Christ the exaltation of his Reign the Subsistence of his Church He may Sir acquit himself of this Duty in a double manner both by Passion and by Action First he must suffer he must mortify himself In the Second place it is necessary that he labour and put himself in action for her Now of all the Actions that may contribute to this end Marriage is without doubt the principal Since it is the natural and material cause of the faithful without which all moral causes would be absolutely useless When Moses built his Tabernacle the Men and Women contributed voluntarily and with great Zeal all that was necessary for its construction What scandal would it be for Christians not to do for the Truth what the Jews did for the Figure Those people dispossessed themselves with pleasure of the most precious things they had in order to enrich that ancient Tent of the Desart What should not we perform then for the glory of this Divine Tabernacle which God has planted and not Man But Sir the question here is neither of Gold nor Silver precious Stones or fine Linnen Purple or Scarlet The Tabernacle of the Church is not composed of dead and insensible things Brutal and Inanimate Stones enter not into its construction There must be living ones for that end There must be faithful Men. There must be reasonable creatures There must be Christians sanctified by the aspersion of the blood of Christ How glorious is it for a Father or Mother to contribute a great number of these living Stones for the Edification and Conservation of the Church Marriage is the only quarry 1 Pet. 1 2.16 from whence they must be had God allows of no other Indeed they are not in a condition proper to build this holy structure My Mother conceived me in sin and brought me forth in iniquity says David If we refer our selves even to the Satyrick Poet he will likewise instruct us in what the Scripture every where tells us that all Men are born with Sin Nam vitijs nemo sine nascitur Horat. Serm. L. 1. Sat. 3. But here Grace is added to Nature Marriage makes Men And of these men God makes his Elect. Insomuch that it is ever true to say in a certain sense that Marriage makes the Elect which are members of the Church since it is the Organon of Nature to bring them into the world and that Grace whfch regenerates them acts upon them only as upon works of this very Nature In this prospect it is scarce possible to express the excellency of Marriage and what strong engagements men are under to marry Philosophers say that a Being may destroy it self two ways by Substraction and by privation of means either in doing things contrary to its Subsistence or in omitting those things which are necessary to it Pharaoh destroyed the Church of Israel in the first manner And those who live unmarried now a days destroy the Christian Church in the second That barbarous King by causing all the Male Children of the Jews to be thrown into the Nile rendred their propagation fruitless and those who remain in the state of single men as far as they can make it impossible So that the Church is not beholding to them for its subsistence This Doctrine is even conformable to the expressions of Scriptute which says that he who doth not prevent a mans death by furnishing him with means to live kills him If this Theology be true as we must not question it I can hardly conceive how all those obstinate and professed Batchelors should not be amazed thereat What greater misfortune could arrive to them than not only to have performed nothing for the Glory and Advantage of this undefiled Spouse of our Saviour which cost him his life but also to have laboured for its destruction by not doing what is capable to preserve it Where is the State where is the Family where is the Society more worthy to subsist than the Church All the rest is supported only for her sake Columna est Orbis Ecclesia The World this unhappy World which so outragiously persecutes her would be destroyed without this daughter of Heaven It is preserved only to give place to the fulness of the Elect. So soon as they are all in the Essence of things adieu to the world Heavens What afflictions should not those old Batchelors undergo for not having contributed to its conformation But Sir one of those things which ought methinks to be most prevailing with you for Marriage is that you will infallibly marry at one time or other Sooner or later you will be inclined to it It is with Marriage as with new fashions At first they appear insupportable But by little and little the eyes are accustomed to them and at length one submits to them with others How many men likewise do we observe who after having long declamed against Marriage fail not to confine themselves under its laws Are you ignorant that those who speak of it as of a solly say that it must be done once in a mans life That Poet so knowing in the Art of Love whom I have already cited so often tells us with a grace that Venus never loses her rights and that all men are tributary to her Et Venus ex tota gente tributa petit Ovid. Ep. 4. Venus claims Tribute from all the amorous Race If you are not in Love whilst you are young you must necessarily love being old If not to day you must of Course to morrow Catul. Privil Ven. Cras amet qui nunquam amavit The same Ovid observes likewise what is very true that the later Love appears the more violent it is Venit amor graviùs quo seriùs Ep. 4. Would you Sir deferr your Marriage to a time wherein you 'll be unfit to marry to a time wherein passion is as it were unactive to a time wherein the blood is congealed in the Veins If Marriage is a sort of solly 't is certainly a double one in that decrepit age wherein a man is good for nothing but to bewail the dismal Wast of years wherein by the weakness of Nature he cannot walk without the support of a Stick wherein a defenceless impotence confines him to the Empire of a young wife Sponso Seni mulier juvencula imperat Wherein the Body being crack'd by the severe Efforts of age is no longer able to support its members to speak with another Poet. Vbi jam validis quassatum viribus aevi Lucret. L.