sit down or to bid him leave her company and surely they must needs be both very weary of walking but sure he will leave her when it is time to go to bed Reformer It is to be hoped he will Enter the Lady Bashfull and Sir Serious Dumb following her Reformer Madam you will tire your self and the Gentleman with walking about your house wherefore pray sit down Lady Bashfull What! To have him gaze upon my face Reformer Why your face is a handsome face and the owner of it is honest wherefore you need not be ashamed but pray rest your self Lady Bashfull Pray perswade him to leave me and then I will Reformer Sir my Lady intreats you to leave her to her self Sir Serious Dumb writes then and gives Reformer his Table-book to read Reformer He writes he cannot leave you for if his body should depart his soul will remain still with you Lady Bashfull That will not put me out of countenance because I shall not be sensible of its presence wherefore I am content he should leave his soul so that he will take his body away He writes and gives Reformer the Book Reformer reads He writes that if you will give him leave once a day to see you that he will depart and that he will not disturb your thoughts he will only wait upon your person for the time he lives he cannot keep himself long from you Lady Bashfull But I would be alone Reformer But if he will follow you you must indure that with patience you cannot avoid Sir Serious Dumb goeth to the Lady Bashfull and kisseth her hand and Ex. Reformer You see he is so civil as he is unwilling to displease you Lady Bashfull Rather than I will be troubled thus I will go to some other parts of the World Reformer In my conscience Madam he will follow you wheresoever you go Lady Bashfull But I will have him shut out of my house Reformer Then he will lye at your gates and so all the Town will take notice of it Lady Bashfull Why so they will howsoever by his often visits Reformer But not so publick Exeunt Scene 31. Enter the General and Affectionata Lord Singularity Affectionata Thou must carry a Letter from me to my Mistriss Affectionata You will not marry her you say Lord Singul. No Affectionata Then pardon me my Lord for though I would assist your honest love by any service I can do yet I shall never be so base an Instrument as to produce a crime Lord Singul. Come come thou shalt carry it and I will give thee 500. pounds for thy service Affectionata Excuse me my Lord Lord Singularity I will give thee a thousand pounds Affectionata I shall not take it my Lord Lord Singul. I will give thee five thousand nay ten thousand pounds Affectionata I am not covetous my Lord Lord Singularity I will make thee Master of my whole Estate for without the assistance I cannot injoy my Mistriss by reason she will trust none with our Loves but thee Affectionata Could you make me Master of the whole World it could not tempt me to do an action base for though I am poor I am honest and so honest as I cannot be corrupted or bribed there-from Lord Singularity You said you loved me Affectionata Heaven knows I do above my life and would do you any service that honour did allow of Lord Singularity You are more scrupulous than wise Affectionata There is an old saying my Lord that to be wise is to be honest Exeunt Scene 32. Enter Sir Peaceable Studious and meets his Ladies maid Sir P. Studious Where is your Lady Maid In her Chamber Sir Sir P. Studious Pray her to come to me Maid Yes Sir Sir P. Studious Exit Enter another Maid to the first 1. Maid Lord Lord What a creature my Master is become since he fell into his musing again he looks like a melancholy Ghost that walks in the shades of Moon-shine or if there be no Ghost such as we fancie just such a one seems her when a week since he was as fine a Gentleman as one should see amongst a thousand 2. Maid That was because he kiss'd you Nan 1. Maid Faith it was but a dull clownish part to meet a Maid that is not ill-favoured and not make much of her who perchance have watch'd to meet him for which he might have clap'd her on the cheek or have chuck'd her under the chin or have kiss'd her but to do or say nothing but bid me call my Lady was such a churlish part Besides it seemed neither manly gallantly nor civilly 2. Maid But it shewed him temperate and wise not minding such frivilous and troublesome creatures as women are 1. Maid Prithy it shews him to be a miserable proud dull fool 2. Maid Peace some body will hear you and then you will be turn'd away 1. Maid I care not for it they will not turn me away I will turn my self away and seek another service for I hate to live in the house with a Stoick Scene 33. Enter the General and Affectionata AFfectionata By your face Sir there seems a trouble in your mind and I am restless until I know your griefs Lord Singularity It is a secret I dare not trust the aire with Affectionata I shall be more secret than the aire for the aire is apt to divulge by retorting Echoes back but I shall be as silent as the Grave Lord Singul. But you may be tortured to confess the truth Affectionata But I will not confess the truth if the confession may any wayes hurt or disadvantage you for though I will not belye truth by speaking falsely yet I will conceal a truth rather than betray a friend Especially my Lord and Master But howsoever since your trouble is of such concern I shall not with to know it for though I dare trust my self yet perchance you dare not trust me but if my honest fidelity can serve you any wayes you may imploy it and if it be to keep a secret all the torment that nature hath made or art invented shall never draw it from me Lord Singul. Then let me tell thee that to conceal it would damn thy soul Affectionata Heaven bless me But sure my Lord you cannot be guilty of such sins that those that doth but barely hear or know them shall be damned Lord Singul, But to conceal them is to be an Actor Affectionata For Heaven sake then keep them close from me if either they be base or wicked for though love prompt me to inquire hoping to give you ease in bearing part of the burthen yet Heaven knows I thought my love so honourable placed on such a worthy person and guiltless soul as I might love and serve without a scandal or a deadly sin Lord Singularity Come you shall know it Affectionata I 'l rather stop my ears with death Lord Singul. Go thou art a false boy Affectionata How false a boy howsoever you think me I have an
Come fellow-souldiers are you ready to march 2. Commander Whether 1. Commander Into our own native Country for our General is sent sol home 3. Commander Except there be wars in our own Country we cannot go with him 1. Commander I know not whether there be wars or peace but he obeys for he is preparing for his journey 2. Commander Who shall be General when he is gone 3. Commander I know not but I hear the States offers to make our young Lieutenant-General General but he refuseth it 2. Commander Would they would make me General 3. Commander If thou wert General thou wouldst put all method out of order 1. Commander Faith Gentlemen I would lead you most prudently and give you leave to plunder most unanimously 1. Commander And we would fight couragiously to keep what we plunder 2. Commander Come let us go and inquire how our affairs goeth Exeunt Scene 22. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata LOrd Singularity Now Affectionata we have taken our leave of the States I hope thy mind is at peace and freed from fears of being staid Affectionata Yes my my Lord Lord Singularity They did perswade thee much to stay Affectionata They seemed much troubled for your Lordships departure Lord Singularity Truly I will say thus much for my self that I have done them good service and I must say thus much for them that they have rewarded me well Affectionata I have heard my Lord that States seldom rewards a service done wherefore I believe they hope you will return again and sees you for that end Lord Singularity I shall not be unwilling when my Country hath no imployment for me Affectionata Methinks my Lord since you have gotten a fame abroad you should desire to live a setled life at home Lord Singularity A setled life would seem but dull to me that hath no wife nor children Affectionata You may have both If you please my Lord Lord Singularity For children I desire none since I have thee and wives I care not for but what are other mens Enter a Messenger with a Letter to the Lord Singularity Lord Singularity From whence comest thou friend Messenger From Rome my Lord Lord Singularity If you please to stay in the next room I shall speak to you presently Messenger Exit The Lord Singularity breaks up the Letter and reads Lord Singularity Affectionata From whence do you think this Letter comes Affectionata I cannot guess my Lord Lord Singularity From the Pope who hath heard so much of thy youth vertue wit and courage as he desires me to pass thorough Rome im my journey home that he might see thee Affectionata Pray Heaven his Holynesse doth not put me into a Monastery and force me to stay behind you Lord Singularity If he should I will take the habit and be incloistered with thee but he will not inforce a youth that hath no will thereto Affectionata Truly my Lord I have no will to be a Fryer Lord Singularity Indeed it is somewhat too lazie a life which all heroick Spirits shames for those loves liberty and action But I will go and dispatch this Messenger and to morrow we will begin our journey Exeunt Scene 23. Enter the Lady Wagtail and the Lady Amorous LAdy Wagtail Faith Amorous it had been a victory indeed worth the bragging off if we could have taken Sir Peaceable Studious Loves prisoner and could have infettered him in Cupid's bonds Lady Amorous It had been a victory indeed for I will undertake to inslave five Courtiers and ten Souldiers sooner and in less time than one studious Scholar Lady Wagtail But some Scholars are more easily taken than the luxurious Courtiers or deboist Souldiers Lady Amorous O no! for Luxurie and Rapine begets lively Spirits but a study quenches them out Lady Wagtail One would think so by Sir Peaceable Studious but not by some other Scholars that I am acquainted with Lady Amorous But confess Lady Wagtail do not you find a studious Scholar dull company in respect of a vain Courtier and a rough Souldier Lady Wagtail I must confess they that study Philosophy are little too much inclined to morality but those that study Theologie are not so restringent Lady Amorous Well for my part since I have been acquainted with Sir Peaceable Studious I hate all Scholars Exeunt Scene 24. Enter three Men as the Inhabitants of Rome 1. T Is a wonder such a youth as the Lord Singularity's Son is should have so great a wit as to be able to dispute with so many Cardinals 2. Man The greater wonder is that he should have the better of them 1. Man 'T is said the Pope doth admire him and is extreamly taken with him 2. Man If Iove had so much admired him he would have made him his Ganimed 1. Man He offered to make him a living Saint but he thanked his Holyness and said he might Saint him but not make him holy enough to be a Saint for said he I am unfit to have Prayers offered to me that cannot offer Prayers as I ought or live as I should then he offered him a Cardinals hat but he refused it saying he was neither wise enough nor old enough for to accept of it for said he I want Ulisses head and Nestors years to be a Cardinal for though less devotion will serve a Cardinal than a Saint yet politick wisdom is required 3. Man Pray Neighbours tell me which way and by what means I may see this wonderfull youth for I have been out of the Town and not heard of him 2. Man You cannot see him now unless you will follow him where he is gone 1. Man Why whether is he gone 2. Man Into his own Country and hath been gone above this week 3. Man Nay I cannot follow him thither Exeunt Scene 25. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata as being in the Country Lord Singularity Affectionata you have promised me to be ruled by me in every thing so that you may not part from me Affectionata I have my Lord and will obey all your commands so far as I am able Lord Singularity Then I am resolved now I am returned into my own Country to get thee a wife that thy fame and worthy acts may live in thy Posterity Affectionata Iove bless me a wife by Heaven my Lord I am not man enough to marry Lord Singul. There is many as young as you that have been Fathers and have had children Affectionata If they were such as I am they might father Children but never get them Lord Singularity Thou art modest Affectionata but I will have you marry and I will chose thee such a wife as modest as thy self Affectionata Then we never shall have children Sir Lord Singul. Love and acquaintance will give you confidence but tell me truly Affectionata didst thou never court a Mistriss Affectionata No truly Sir Lord Singularity Well I will have you practice Courtship and though I will not directly be your Band or Pimp yet I
be not so cruel to me as to lay my Wives indisposition to my charge Lady Wagtaile But we will and we will draw up an Accusation against you unless you confess and ask pardon Sir P. Studious Will you accuse me without a Witness Lady Wagtail Yes and condemne you too Sir P. Studious That were unjust if Ladies could be unjust Lady Amorous O Madam we have a witness her blushing is a sufficient witness to accuse him Besides her melancholly silence will help to condemn him Lady Ignorance Pardon me Ladies for when any of our Sex are offended or angered whether they have cause or not they will rail louder than Ioves thunder Lady Amorous So will you in time Lady Wagtail Let us jumble her abroad Come Madam we will put you out of your dull humour Lady Ignorance No Madam Pray excuse me to day in truth I am not well Lady Amorous No let us let my Lady alone but let us take her Husband and tutour him Sir P. Studious Ladies give me leave to praise my self and let my self and let me tell you I am as apt a Scholar as ever you met with and as willing to learn Lady Amorous Farewell Madam we will order Sir P. Studious and try what disposition he is of and how apt to be instructed Lady Ignorance Pray do Madam he promiseth well Ex. Scene 16 Enter Foster Trusty and the Lady Orphant LAdy Orphant Now we are come into the Armie how shall we demean our selves like poor Beggers Foster Trusty By no means for though you beg well yet you will never get what you come for with begging for there is an old saying that although all charity is love yet all love is not charity Lady Orphant It were the greatest charity in the World for him to love me for without his love I shall be more miserable than poverty can make me Foster Trusty But poverty is so scorned and hated that no person is accepted which she presents Nay poverty is shunn'd more than the Plague Lady Orphant Why it is not infectious Foster Trusty Yes faith for the relieving of necessity is the way to be impoverished Lady Orph. But their rewards are the greater in Heaven Foster Trusty 'T is true but their Estates are less on earth Lady Orphant But blessings are more to be desired than wealth Foster Trusty Well Heaven bless us and send us such fortune that our long journey may prove successfull and not profitless and because Heaven never gives blessings unless we use a prudent industry you shall put your self into good clothes and I will mix my self with his followers and servants and tell them as I may truely that you are my Son for no mans Son but mine you are was so importunate as you would never let me rest until I brought you to see the Lord Singularity and they will tell him to let him know his fame is such as even young children adore him taking a Pilgrimage to see him and he out of a vain-glory will desire to see you Lady Orphant But what advantage shall I get by that Enter the Lord Singularity and many Commanders attending him Foster Trusty Peace here is the General Commander The enemie is so beaten as now they will give us some time to breath our selves General They are more out of breath than we are but the States are generous enemies if they give them leave to fetch their wind and gather strength again Lady Orphant Father stand you by and let me speak She goeth to the General and speaks to him Heaven bless your Excellencie Lord General From whence comest thou boy Lord Orph. From your native Countrey General Cam'st thou lately Lady Orph. I am newly arrived General Pray how is my Countrey and Countrey-men live they still in happy peace and flourishing with plenty Lady Orph. There is no noise of war or fear of famine General Pray Iove continue it Lady Orphant It is likely so to continue unless their pride and luxurie be gets a factious childe that is born with war and fed with ruine General Do you know what faction is Lady Orph. There is no man that lives and feels it not the very thoughts are factious in the mind and in Rebellious passions arises warring against the soul General Thou canst not speak thus by experience boy thou art too young not yet a mans Estate Lady Orphant But children have thoughts and said to have a rational soul as much as those that are grown up to men but if souls grow as bodies doth and thoughts increases with their years then may the wars within the mind be like to School-boys quarrels that falls out for a toy and for a roy are friends General Thou speakest like a Tutour what boyish thoughts so ever thou hast but tell me boy what mad'st thee travel so great a journey Lady Orph. For to see you General To see me boy Lady Orph. Yes to see you Sir for the Trumpet of your praise did sound so loud it struck my ears broke open my heart and let desire forth which restless grew until I travelled hither General I wish I had merits to equal thy weary steps or means for to reward them Lady Orph. Your presence hath sufficiently rewarded me General Could I do thee my service boy Lady Orph. A bounteous favour you might do me Sir General What is that boy Lady Orph. To let me serve you Sir General I should be ingratefull to refuse thee chose thy place Lady Orph. Your Page Sir if you please General I accept of thee most willingly Captain But Sir may not this boy be a lying couzening flattering dissembling treacherous boy General Why Captain there is no man that keeps many servants but some are lyers and some treacherous and all flatterers and a Master receives as much injurie from each particular as if they were joyned in one Lady Orph. I can bring none that will witness for my truth or be bound for my honesty but my own words General I desire none boy for thy tongue sounds so sweetly and thy face looks so honestly as I cannot but take and trust thee Lady Orph. Heaven bless your Excellence and fortune prosper you for your bounty hath been above my hopes and equal to my wishes General VVhat is thy name Lady Orph. Affectionata my Noble Lord General Then follow me Affectionata Ex. ACT IV. Scene 17. Enter the Lady Bashfull and Reformer her woman Enter Page PAge Madam there was a Gentleman gave me this Letter to deliver to your Ladyships hands Lady Bashfull A Letter I pray Reformer open it and read it for I will not receive Letters privately Page Exit Reformer The superscription is for the Right Honourable the Lady Bashfull these present The Letter MADAM Since I have had the honour to see you I have had the unhappiness to think my self miserable by reason I am deprived of speech that should plead my suit but if an affectionate soul chaste thoughts lawfull desires and a fervent heart can
as a great Lady But if we could conquer and imprison Monsieur Satyrical in Loves Fetters that would be a Conquest worthy Fames Trumpet Pleasure O that would be such an Exploit as it would be an Honour to our Sex Bon' Esprit There is nothing I desire more than to be she that might infetter him Portrait I long to insnare him Ambition So do I Bon' Esprit Faith I will lay an Ambuscado for him Matron Fie Ladies fie I am asham'd to hear the Designs you have no catch Monsieur Satyrical such Fair Young Noble Ladies to be so wanton as none will content you but a wilde rough rude Satyr Bon' Esprit If I were sure there were no other ways to get him I would become a Wood-nymph for his sake Matron You have forgot the Nymph that was turned into a Bear Bon' Esprit O she was one of cruel Diana's Nymphs but I will be none of her Order Matron No I dare swear you will not for 't is unlikely you should when you desire to imbrace a Satyr Bon' Esprit I do not desire to imbrace him but to enamour him Matron Well Ladies your Parents gave you to my Care and Charge but since you are so wilde to talk of nothing but Nymphs Woods and Satyrs I will resigne up the Trust which was imposed on me to your Parents again for I will not adventure my Reputation with such wanton young Ladies Bon' Esprit Mother Matron let me tell thee thy Reputation is worn out of thee Time hath devoured it and therefore thou hast no Reputation to lose Exeunt Scene 15. Enter Monsieur Censure and Monsieur Frisk FRisk Fath Tom I have emptyed thy pockets Censure Thou hast pick'd my pockets with thy juggling Dice for which if thou wert a woman and in my power I would be reveng'd for my loss Frisk Why what would you do if I were a Woman Censure I would condemn thee to a solitary silent life which to a woman is worse than Hell for company and talking is their Heaven and their Tongues are more restless than the Sea their Passions more stormy than the Winds and their Appetites more unsatiable and devouring than fire they are lighter than Air more changing than the Moon Frisk What makes thee thus rail at the Effeminate Sex Censure Have I not reason when Fortune is of the same gender Enter Madamoiselle Faction Frisk Faith Tom I must tell Faction What will you tell Frisk Why I will tell you Lady he hath rail'd most horribly against your Sex Faction That is usual for all those men which never received nor hope to receive any favour from our Sex will rail against it Censure Those men have no reason Lady to commend you if they never received neither profit nor pleasure from you and those that have been cruelly used by your Sex may lawfully rail against it Faction The Laws of Honour forbid it Censure But the Laws of Nature allow it and Nature is the most prevailing law Faction Natures law is for Men to love Women and Women Men but in you and I there is not that Sympathy for I dislike your Sex as much as you do ours and could rail with as free a will against it The truth is that although I do not hate men yet I despise them for all men appear to me either Beasts or Butter-flies which are either sensual or vain Indeed most men are worse than beasts for beasts are but according to their kind when men are degenerated by beastly Sensualies from which they were made for as most men are worse than beasts so you are worse than most men Censure It is a favour Lady from your Sex to rail against ours for it is a sign you have considered us and that we live in your memory although with your ill opinions yet it is better to live with Enemies than not to be and of all men I have received the greatest favour from the chiefest of your Sex which is your self in that you have considered me most though you have found me worst yet it proves you have thought of me Faction If those thoughts and dispraises be favours I will binde so many together until they become as thick and hard as steel of which you may make an Armour to keep your Reputation from wounds of reproach She goes out Frisk There Tom she hath paid thee both for thy Railings and Complements Censure She hath not payd me in current coyn Frisk It will pass for disgrace I 'll warrant thee Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Madam Ambition Faction Portrait Bon' Esprit Pleasure BOn Esprit There are but three things a gallant man requires which is a Horse a Sword and a Mistris Ambition Yet a gallant man wants Generosity for the greatest honour for a man is to be generous for Generosity comprises all Virtues good Qualities and sweet Graces for a generous man will never spare his life purse nor labour for the sake of just Right plain Truth Honest Poverty Distress Misery or the like for a generous man hath a couragious yet compassionate Heart a constant and noble Mind a bountiful Hand an active and industrious Life and he is one that joyes more to do good than others to receive good Pleasure There are few or none that have such noble Souls as to prefer anothers good before their own Portrait The truth is men have more promising Tongues than performing deeds Faction For all I can perceive mans life is composed of nothing but deceit treachery and rapine Bon' Esprit Indeed mans mind is like a Forest and his thoughts like wilde beasts inhabit therein Ambition Mans Mind is like a Sea where his Thoughts like Fishes swim therein where some Thought are like huge Leviathans others like great Whales but some are like Sprats Shrimps and Minnues Enter Monsieur Sensuality Sensuality What is like a Minnues Ambition A mans Soul Sensuality It is better have a soul although no bigger than a Minnues than none at all as Women have but if they have I dare swear it is no bigger than a pins point Bon' Esprit Very like which point pricks down thoughts into the Brain and Passions in the heart and writes in the Brain witty Conceits if the point be sharp Sensuality No no it serves onely to raise their brains with Vanity to ingrave their hearts with Falshood and to scratch out their lives with Discontent Pleasure We oftner scratch out mens lives than our own Sensuality Nay you oftner scratch out our honour than our lives Faction For my part I have an itch to be scratching Sensuality I believe you for you have a vexatious soul Faction It hath cause to be vexatious for the point of my soul is whetted with Aqua Fortis against your Sex Sensuality I 'm sure Lady your tongue is whetted with Aqua Fortis Faction So is yours Sensuality If it be let us try which point is sharpest Faction I will leave the Trial to Time and Occasion Exeunt Scene 17.
having made her a Lady Lord Lord to see the fortune that some have over others why if my Master would have maried one of his Maids he might have chosen a prettier wench amongst any of us all than she is 2 Maid Yes 'faith for she was thought the veriest Puss of us all for she is neither snout-fair nor well-shap'd she hath splay-feet and chilblainheels 1 Maid Nay all will grant she was the dirtiest slut in the House for there was never a man-servant but would cry so at her when they kiss'd her besides she was the veriest fool amongst us But Lord what Wealth and Honour will do for now she is a Lady she looks as if she never wash'd a dish or scour'd a kettle or spit 2 Maid But I wonder how she came to be his Wife she might have served as her Betters have done before her I am sure there was Nan a pretty pert cleanly Maid who was kind and willing to do any thing either to serve our Master or fellow servants 1 Maid O but Nan had not an old woman that us'd to come to her to get suet and scraps as Briget had and this old woman they say counsell'd Briget to seem nice and coy 2 Maid I wonder what Richard the Carter will say who was turned out of his service because he should not share with my Master 1 Maid 'Faith I heard that Richard was told of her Advancement and 't is said he laugh'd and said my Master had a hungry stomach that he could feed of his leavings but by his Troth he was glad she was become a Lady for now he could say he had kiss'd and courted a Lady as well as the best Gallant of them all Exeunt Scene 19. Enter the Lord Widower and the Lady Sprightly his Daughter LOrd Daughter although you do govern my Family very well for your years yet you are young and wanting Experience may be cozened and though I have a great Estate yet it will be all consum'd if Order and Method be not put into practice wherefore I would have you take the counsel of Mistris Dorothy Subtilty to assist you Lady Who is that my Lord Lord Why do not you know her she that waited on your Mother Lady Pardon me my Lord I did not know her by that Title for she was plain Dol Subtilty when she waited on my Mother and not knowing of her advancement from a Chambermaid to a Gentlewoman I might easily mistake besides she is not so much older as to have much more experience than my self perchance she may have more craft which was learned her in her poverty than I who have been bred at the Horn of Plenty that knew no scarcity nor sharking necessity Lord You have a sharp tongue when spight moves it but let me hear no more of these words but do as I command you Lady I never disobey'd you as I do know Lord Well no more words Exeunt Scene 20. Enter the Bride and all the Bridal Guests they dance and Monsieur Disguise dances with the Bride Sir Spendall seems to whisper Monsieur Disguise in the Ear being half drunk SPendall Sir but that you look more like a woman than a man you might give the Bridegroom more cause to be melancholy for the living than the dead but let me intreat you young Gentleman that you strike not his Head as your News hath done his Heart for I perceive the Brides eyes are fix'd upon you and from the root of a fix'd eye grows Horns when they are set in a maried Head Disguise There is no fear Spendall Yes Sir as long as there are doubts there are fears Disguise There is no doubt Sir Spendall But that she will be Sir Disguise What Sir Spendall What you please Sir and let me tell you young Gentleman that as long as there are women there will be Lovers and Cuckolds Disguise And let me tell you Sir that as long as there are men there will be Fools and Drunkards Lady Inconstant Sir I doubt we have invited you rather to your trouble than your delight Disguise Madam you are the Treasure of Pleasure and Delight which none can receive but from your Bounty nor enjoy but by your Favour Exeunt Scene 21. Enter the Lady Sprightly and Dol Subtilty LAdy Sprightly What had you to do to contradict my commands Dol Subtilty They were not fit to be obey'd wherefore they were forbid The Lady gives Dol a box on the Ear Lady There take that to remember I forbid you to forbid my commands Dol. I will declare your blows to some that shall revenge me Enter the Lord Widower Lord What are you so light-finger'd 'T is time to get you a Husband to govern and rule your high spirit Lady No pray Sir get me no Husband for if my Father takes part against me surely a Husband will be worse natur'd Lord So you will say I am unnatural Lady No Sir I only say it is not my undutifulness that displeases you but some that hath more wit than I or at least good fortune to please you better Lord VVell pray study your Book and VVork and leave the Houshold Affairs to my disposal Lady Sir I took the Office as my duty to your commands not for Delight Pleasure Ease or Profit and I shall surrender it up again upon the same account and with all the trouble care labour vexations and disquiets belonging thereunto Lord In doing so you will do very well Exeunt Scene 32. Enter the Lady Hypocondria as being frightly sick and her Husband Sir VVilliam Lovewell LOvewell Heaven bless you wife what makes you so extremely pale and to seem so affrighted Hypocon. O Husband I have an Imposthume broken within me and the bag will rise and choke me Lovewell Heaven forbid Hypocon. O I am choak'd I am choak'd I cannot fetch my breath She takes her breath very short Sir VVilliam Lovewell in a great fright calls for help Enter some servants Lovewell O send for Doctors strait for my wife is ready to die They go out running he standing by the Chair his Wife sits in trembling and quaking Lovewell How are you dear VVife how do you feel your self now how are you Hypocondria O very ill but yet me thinks I can fetch my breath a little better than I could I believe the Imposthume-bag is fallen down wherefore I will go to bed Lovewell Pray do VVife He leads her out and she goeth softly Exeunt Scene 23. Enter Sir Henry Sage and the Lady Chastity his Wife SAge Sweet-heart I was in your Bed-chamber and in your Cabinet-chamber and missing you in both I was afraid I must have been forc'd to have hir'd a Cryer to have proclamed my loss Chastity Many a Wife doth proclame her Husbands loss without the help of a Cryer for the Wives Adulterous Acts proclame her Husband a Cucold and the loss of his Honour Sage But I am not afraid of that for I am confident of thy Chastity although the old
Procurer LAdy Wanton Prethy my Lady Procurer go into the Country with us since we shall have such good Company this Summer as Monsieur Amorous we will be so merry and have such sports and pastimes as you shall not repent your journey Procurer Faith Madam I cannot besides you have no use of me now Wanton I am not as many others are that when they can make no more use of a friend they strive to shun their Company Procurer Well if I can go with you I will but I doubt I cannot at lest I cannot stay above a week or such a time with you Wanton Nay if I once get you there I will make you stay Exeunt Scene 28. Enter Mistriss Single alone MIstriss Single What a troublesome life is a Married life bless me Heaven who would Marry Enter Raillery Jester at her last words Fool. That would you if you could get a Husband for Maids long to be Wives and Wives longs to be Widows that they might Marry again Single That is because Maids do not know the vexations of Marriage which Wives do Fool. Faith Women take a pleasure in being vext crost and injured for then they have a ground for their anger and revenge is the sweetest and dearest imployment they have or would wish to have otherwise they would be dull and idle without it and to prove it Widows are as earnest and industrious to Marry as Maids and all is because they would be vext and crost Single And are not men as desirous and hasty to Marry as Women Fool. Yes those that are Fools Single Why then you should marry if any VVoman would have you Fool. Such Fools as I never or very seldom Marry for though we are Christened Fools we were Born VVise where other men were Born Fools but Christened VVise as bearing the name of VVise and understanding Men so as they have only the name but not the wisdome the Truth is we Fool and other men are fool'd Single Then VVomen are Born VVise for they Fool Men Fool. Nay saith poor Souls they are for the most part double fool'd first thinking they fool and then in being fooled Enter a Maid of the Lady Jealousy's Maid Mistriss my Lady is very angry that you let your Lute-Master stay whilst you talk to the fool she says you will be as much a fool as he with talking so often with him Single Tell my Sister I shall learn more good from the fool than the fidler Fool. Mark you that Maid Maid I mark that Children and Fools keep company together Fool. And the Maids and the Master Exeunt ACT IV. Scene 29. Enter two Maids of the Lady Hypocondria 1 MAid Alas my poor Lady looks as if she would drop to the earth so pale and ill 2 Maid How should she be otherwise for she smothers in her grief and dares not discover it and then she seldom sleeps or eats or drinks and is so restless as she cannot sit still but walks about her Chamber Exeunt Scene 30. Enter the Lady Hypocondria and a Doctor LAdy Hypocondria O Master Doctor what do you think of my Husband I hope he is in no danger is he Doctor I dare assure you Madam he will be very well again for he is only weak and faint with loss of blood for he taking the wound to be slight did not take care to stop it soon enough whereupon his Spirits with his blood issued out so much as makes him so weak as you see he is forc'd to keep his Bed Hypocondria But Doctor Spirits is life and if he wants the one he must soon lose the other Doctor 'T is true if there were no Spirits left but let me tell you Madam there is more danger when the Body hath too many Spirits than when there is but a few for many Spirits make the Body too hot by giving the Pulse too quick a motion which quick motion fires the heart so much as the blood becomes boyling hot which Perboyls the Liver and the rest of the vital parts and melts the fat wastes the flesh and weakens the Sinnews or Nerves as being boyled as to a soft tender quaking Jelly that is the cause that the Sick is so weak they cannot stand having not that tough strength in their Sickness and some after their sickness and shall continue weak untill such time as the Sinnews and Nerves grow harder and tough again and many times from the boyling blood there arises such gross and so many Vapours which Vapours is Smoak as they stifle the life or at least disquiet the Brain Hypocondria But will you assure me Doctor Doctor As far as Human skill can assure you I will The Doctor goes out The Lady Hypocondria alone Hypocondria Fair Iuno hear me send to thy Brother Pluto to imprison Death in his dark Vault or at least for to forbid him to touch my Husband and fair Goddess send health to raise his weary limbs from off his hated Couch if not give order to grim Death to strike me too for thou hast power on all as being chief in power Enter her Maid Maid Madam my Master desires you would be pleased to come to him Exeunt Scene 31. Enter Monsieur Disguise alone MOnsieur Disguise I will not only make me a Garland but a Bower of Willow where I will sit and lament all forsaken Lovers nay I will sit and Curse so long till I have laid those Curses so thick together as neither sighs nor tears nor prayers shall dissolve them Exit Scene 32. Enter the Lady Procurer and Monsieur Amorous LAdy Procurer I am come to bring you good news Monsieur Amorous Amorous What is that my comfortable Lady Procurer The Lady Wanton is come to Town Amorous Pluto Procurer What do you swear because she is come to Town Amorous No I swear because I must go out of Town Procurer I hope you will not go out of the Town now she is come to town Amorous Alas my occasions are such as I shall be utterly ruined if I stay Procurer Then let me tell you the Lady Chastity begins to listen to your Sute Amorous And is there hopes I shall enjoy her Procurer I cannot tell Amorous Nay Dear Lady speak some comfort Procurer It is a folly if you must go into the Country Amorous Neptune shall swallow the Country rather than I will endanger to lose a Paradise Procurer But if you stay you will be ruined Amorous I rather shall be ruined if I go for now I have considered it I find I have such potent affairs here in the City as they will force me to stay Procurer O Iupiter how Inconstant is Mankind for what they have enjoyed they despise and what they cannot get they earnestly desire and are restless in the pursute Amorous What say you Procurer I say you are an unthankfull Man and not worthy of a Ladyes favour as to forsake her that loves you and seek her that hates you for know the Lady Chastity scorns