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thy_o name_n but_o by_o my_o confusion_n then_o let_v i_o be_v confound_v but_o sure_a lord_n thou_o may_v gain_v more_o glory_n in_o save_v i_o than_o in_o damn_v i_o the_o dead_a can_v bring_v honour_n to_o thy_o name_n for_o who_o shall_v give_v thou_o thanks_o in_o the_o pit_n the_o live_n the_o live_n they_o shall_v praise_v thou_o as_o i_o hope_v to_o do_v hereafter_o many_o time_n i_o pray_v and_o have_v many_o petition_n grant_v i_o present_o and_o at_o other_o time_n i_o prayeâ—_n and_o be_v deny_v what_o i_o beg_v but_o have_v what_o i_o desire_v in_o a_o better_a way_n in_o all_o dispensation_n i_o find_v my_o god_n with_o i_o either_o with_o his_o prevent_n assist_a or_o support_v grace_n i_o receive_v innumerable_a favour_n from_o he_o yet_o can_v i_o not_o be_v persuade_v that_o they_o come_v from_o his_o love_n but_o that_o rather_o they_o be_v to_o augment_v my_o scere_fw-la i_o be_v still_o labour_v and_o inquire_v how_o i_o may_v come_v to_o be_v assure_v of_o god_n love_n which_o he_o be_v please_v at_o length_n to_o show_v i_o in_o some_o measure_n on_o this_o manner_n in_o the_o sixth_o of_o john_n i_o hear_v my_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n tell_v i_o that_o i_o can_v come_v to_o he_o except_o god_n our_o father_n draw_v i_o and_o if_o i_o come_v to_o he_o him_z he_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v i_o out_o but_o will_v raise_v i_o up_o at_o the_o last_o day_n i_o be_o persuade_v that_o it_o be_v my_o god_n alone_o that_o do_v draw_v i_o to_o my_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n that_o will_v receive_v i_o and_o will_v raise_v i_o up_o at_o the_o last_o day_n in_o john_n 17._o i_o hear_v he_o pray_v to_o his_o father_n for_o i_o who_o request_n i_o be_o confident_a shall_v not_o be_v deny_v nay_o further_o by_o faith_n i_o see_v my_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n suffer_v for_o i_o nail_v upon_o the_o cross_n for_o i_o wounded_z buffet_v strip_v and_o spit_v upon_o for_o i_o dead_a bury_v rise_v again_o ascend_v into_o heaven_n and_o sit_v on_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o his_o father_n and_o my_o god_n make_v intercession_n for_o i_o which_o give_v i_o assurance_n of_o my_o god_n everlasting_a and_o unchangeable_a love_n in_o and_o through_o my_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n towards_o i_o and_o that_o not_o for_o any_o thing_n that_o be_v in_o i_o but_o for_o his_o sake_n he_o say_v unto_o i_o when_o i_o be_v in_o my_o blood_n live_v and_o i_o know_v i_o do_v believe_v and_o be_o regenerate_v by_o the_o holy_a ghost_n 1._o because_o i_o find_v such_o a_o alteration_n in_o myself_o that_o whereas_o before_o i_o can_v not_o believe_v there_o be_v a_o god_n now_o i_o be_o sure_a there_o be_v a_o great_a and_o a_o almighty_a god_n and_o he_o be_v my_o love_a father_n 2._o before_o i_o dare_v not_o lift_v up_o my_o eye_n to_o heaven_n now_o i_o can_v with_o boldness_n cry_v abba_n dear_a father_n 3._o before_o i_o do_v not_o regard_v the_o people_n of_o god_n now_o all_o my_o delight_n be_v with_o the_o saint_n that_o be_v upon_o the_o earth_n 4._o i_o love_v to_o hear_v my_o god_n well_o speak_v of_o it_o grieve_v i_o to_o hear_v or_o see_v he_o dishonour_v 5._o i_o long_o to_o see_v my_o saviour_n and_o to_o kiss_v those_o wound_n from_o which_o issue_v stream_n of_o blood_n which_o pacisy_v god_n anger_n towards_o i_o 6._o i_o rejoice_v when_o i_o think_v of_o death_n know_v that_o it_o be_v swallow_v up_o in_o victory_n 7_o i_o often_o hear_v this_o voice_n in_o my_o ear_n arise_v you_o dead_a and_o come_v to_o
to_o submit_v have_v not_o any_o objection_n against_o it_o for_o it_o comprehend_v all_o sort_n of_o sinner_n although_o never_o so_o great_a yet_o whosoever_o believe_v in_o this_o son_n of_o god_n shall_v enjoy_v such_o a_o sweet_a promise_n no_o less_o than_o eternal_a life_n in_o the_o 16._o verse_n god_n so_o love_v the_o world_n that_o he_o give_v his_o only_a beget_v son_n that_o whosoever_o believe_v in_o he_o shall_v not_o perish_v but_o have_v everlasting_a life_n and_o in_o act_n 10.43_o that_o whosoever_o believe_v in_o he_o shall_v receive_v remission_n of_o sin_n then_o in_o gal._n 2.20_o i_o live_v by_o the_o faith_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n who_o love_v i_o and_o give_v himself_o for_o i_o and_o christ_n jesus_n die_v for_o sinner_n of_o who_o i_o be_o chief_a see_v this_o application_n of_o christ_n that_o paul_n make_v in_o particular_a to_o himself_o who_o be_v a_o very_a great_a sinner_n in_o do_v much_o embolden_v i_o in_o the_o like_a rom._n 5.8,9_o god_n commend_v his_o love_n towards_o we_o in_o that_o while_o we_o be_v yet_o sinner_n christ_n die_v for_o the_o ungodly_a and_o i_o be_v ungodly_a therefore_o i_o believe_v christ_n dye_v for_o i_o and_o when_o we_o be_v yet_o without_o strength_n in_o due_a time_n christ_n die_v for_o sinner_n i_o be_o a_o sinner_n and_o therefore_o christ_n die_v for_o i_o and_o he_o be_v reconcile_v unto_o we_o while_o we_o be_v enemy_n for_o the_o lord_n to_o be_v thus_o reconoiled_a to_o ungodly_a to_o sinner_n to_o enemy_n this_o be_v more_o love_n indeed_o than_o ever_o i_o expect_v especial_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v have_v be_v half_o so_o gracious_a to_o i_o this_o turn_v all_o my_o former_a sorrow_n into_o joy_n cry_v out_o what_o shall_v i_o render_v unto_o the_o lord_n for_o all_o his_o benefit_n that_o he_o have_v bestow_v upon_o i_o for_o what_o be_v i_o or_o any_o of_o my_o father_n house_n that_o the_o lord_n shall_v be_v so_o merciful_a unto_o i_o and_o i_o have_v these_o testimonis_fw-la of_o my_o real_a conversion_n to_o god_n 1._o the_o testimony_n of_o his_o spirit_n adopt_v i_o to_o be_v his_o child_n gal._n 3.4,5_o god_n send_v forth_o his_o son_n to_o redeem_v those_o that_o be_v under_o the_o law_n that_o they_o may_v receive_v the_o adoption_n of_o son_n and_o because_o you_o be_v son_n god_n have_v send_v forth_o the_o spirit_n of_o his_o son_n into_o your_o heart_n cry_v abba_n father_n wherefore_o thou_o be_v no_o more_o a_o servant_n but_o a_o son_n i_o be_v once_o under_o the_o law_n dead_a i_o be_o now_o by_o christ_n redeem_v and_o i_o bless_v god_n for_o this_o precious_a privilege_n that_o i_o can_v call_v god_n my_o father_n 2._o christ_n hathfulfil_v the_o law_n therefore_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v condemn_v by_o the_o law_n but_o justify_v by_o jesus_n christ_n without_o the_o deed_n of_o the_o law_n there_o be_v a_o time_n when_o i_o be_v dead_a in_o sin_n and_o in_o ungodliness_n be_v alienate_v from_o the_o commonwealth_n of_o israel_n and_o a_o stranger_n to_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n have_v no_o hope_n and_o without_o god_n in_o the_o world_n but_o be_v make_v alive_a by_o jesus_n christ_n i_o see_v my_o sin_n do_v away_o and_o do_v believe_v that_o christ_n have_v bear_v on_o his_o body_n all_o my_o sin_n he_o be_v bruise_v for_o our_o transgression_n isa_n 53._o and_o the_o lord_n lay_v on_o he_o the_o iniquity_n of_o we_o all_o by_o who_o stripe_n we_o be_v heal_v so_o that_o i_o do_v believe_v that_o by_o one_o offering_n he_o have_v perfect_v for_o ever_o all_o those_o that_o be_v sanctify_v heb._n 10._o and_o that_o christ_n jesus_n be_v become_v a_o full_a and_o perfect_a satisfaction_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o that_o the_o lord_n be_v well_o please_v with_o and_o content_v in_o this_o satisfaction_n mat._n 3._o that_o be_v my_o well-beloved_a son_n in_o who_o i_o be_o well_o please_v 3._o i_o be_o in_o and_o through_o god_n free_a grace_n what_o i_o be_o not_o for_o any_o thing_n in_o i_o or_o that_o i_o can_v do_v but_o as_o in_o titus_n 4.5_o we_o ourselves_o be_v sometime_o foolish_a disobedient_a serve_v divers_a lust_n but_o when_o the_o kindness_n and_o love_n of_o god_n our_o saviour_n appear_v towards_o man_n not_o by_o work_n of_o righteousness_n which_o we_o have_v do_v but_o according_a to_o his_o mercy_n he_o save_v we_o that_o be_v justify_v free_o by_o his_o grace_n we_o shall_v be_v make_v heir_n according_a to_o the_o hope_n of_o eternal_a life_n and_o in_o another_o place_n 1_o tim._n 1.9_o who_o have_v save_v we_o and_o call_v we_o with_o a_o holy_a call_n not_o according_a to_o our_o work_n but_o according_a to_o his_o own_o purpose_n and_o grace_n in_o christ_n jesus_n before_o the_o world_n begin_v therefore_o i_o believe_v that_o god_n the_o father_n love_v i_o in_o jesus_n christ_n 1_o john_n 4.19_o we_o love_v he_o because_o he_o love_v we_o first_o john_n 14.14_o you_o have_v not_o choose_v i_o but_o i_o have_v choose_v you_o that_o you_o shall_v bring_v forth_o much_o fruit_n isa_n 43.25_o ay_o even_o i_o be_o he_o that_o blot_v out_o all_o thy_o transgression_n for_o my_o own_o sake_n and_o will_v not_o remember_v thy_o iniquity_n and_o he_o will_v have_v mercy_n even_o because_o he_o will_v have_v mercy_n the_o blood_n of_o jesus_n christ_n cleanse_v we_o from_o all_o sin_n i_o plain_o see_v it_o be_v the_o lord_n do_n and_o it_o be_v marvellous_a in_o my_o eye_n as_o in_o ephes_n 2._o you_o who_o be_v dead_a in_o trespass_n and_o sin_n have_v he_o quicken_v together_o with_o he_o by_o grace_n you_o be_v save_v and_o that_o not_o of_o yourselves_o it_o be_v the_o gift_n of_o god_n i_o find_v as_o christ_n jesus_n be_v a_o free_a gift_n to_o i_o and_o for_o i_o so_o be_v this_o save_a grace_n of_o faith_n a_o free_a gift_n also_o from_o the_o lord_n to_o my_o soul_n rom._n 3.24_o be_v justify_v free_o by_o his_o grace_n through_o the_o redemption_n that_o be_v in_o christ_n jesus_n to_o declare_v his_o righteousness_n for_o the_o remission_n of_o sin_n that_o he_o may_v be_v just_a and_o the_o justifier_n of_o he_o that_o believe_v in_o jesus_n so_o that_o all_o boast_n of_o the_o creature_n be_v exclude_v by_o the_o law_n of_o faith_n as_o by_o the_o disobedience_n of_o one_o many_o be_v make_v sinner_n so_o by_o the_o obedience_n of_o one_o shall_v many_o be_v make_v righteous_a 4._o i_o believe_v that_o as_o there_o be_v no_o sin_n find_v in_o christ_n and_o yet_o a_o sinner_n by_o imputation_n so_o i_o be_v a_o sinner_n indeed_o shall_v be_v make_v righteous_a by_o god_n imputation_n for_o it_o please_v god_n to_o make_v he_o become_v sin_n for_o we_o who_o know_v no_o sin_n that_o we_o may_v be_v make_v the_o righteousness_n of_o god_n in_o he_o 5._o i_o have_v the_o seal_n of_o the_o spirit_n as_o paul_n say_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n bear_v witness_n with_o our_o spirit_n that_o we_o be_v the_o child_n of_o god_n and_o if_o child_n than_o heir_n of_o god_n and_o joint_a heir_n with_o christ_n in_o this_o our_o freedom_n 6._o i_o do_v believe_v that_o god_n the_o father_n love_v i_o and_o elect_v i_o for_o the_o son_n to_o redeem_v and_o that_o jesus_n christ_n love_v i_o as_o give_v of_o the_o father_n for_o he_o to_o redeem_v and_o manifest_v it_o to_o i_o and_o the_o holy_a ghost_n love_v i_o as_o elect_v of_o the_o father_n and_o redeem_v by_o the_o son_n and_o do_v evidence_n it_o in_o i_o which_o be_v the_o earnest_n of_o my_o inheritance_n and_o there_o be_v a_o expression_n in_o john_n 3._o last_o he_o that_o believe_v in_o the_o son_n have_v everlasting_a life_n 7._o i_o do_v believe_v that_o i_o have_v everlasting_a life_n already_o in_o possession_n 1._o by_o the_o promise_n fear_v not_o little_a flock_n for_o it_o be_v your_o father_n good_a pleasure_n to_o give_v you_o a_o kingdom_n 2._o in_o the_o first_o fruit_n for_o what_o be_v heaven_n hereafter_o but_o a_o more_o full_a enjoyment_n of_o what_o be_v begin_v here_o what_o we_o receive_v now_o be_v but_o a_o taste_n of_o what_o we_o shall_v receive_v as_o 1_o john_n 4.2_o belove_a now_o be_v we_o the_o son_n of_o god_n and_o it_o do_v not_o yet_o appear_v what_o we_o shall_v be_v but_o we_o know_v that_o when_o we_o shall_v appear_v we_o shall_v be_v like_o he_o for_o we_o shall_v see_v he_o as_o he_o be_v 3._o i_o do_v enjoy_v it_o by_o my_o head_n christ_n who_o have_v take_v full_a possession_n of_o it_o already_o for_o i_o therefore_o see_v i_o be_o not_o my_o own_o i_o be_o buy_v with_o a_o price_n therefore_o i_o desire_v to_o glorify_v god_n with_o my_o soul_n and_o body_n which_o
god_n and_o saviour_n but_o i_o be_v dash_v from_o all_o my_o enemy_n satan_n possess_v my_o thought_n suggest_v thus_o unto_o i_o fond_a fool_n quoth_v he_o why_o do_v thou_o thus_o trouble_v thyself_o take_v thy_o pleasure_n do_v what_o thou_o like_v thou_o shall_v never_o be_v call_v to_o a_o account_n for_o any_o thing_n for_o as_o thâ—_n wise_a man_n die_v so_o die_v the_o fool_n and_o both_o ristin_a the_o grave_n together_o there_o be_v no_o god_n to_o save_v thou_o or_o to_o punish_v thou_o all_o thing_n be_v make_v by_o nature_n and_o when_o thou_o die_v there_o be_v a_o end_n of_o all_o thy_o good_a and_o bad_a deed_n thou_o talk_v of_o the_o scripture_n and_o of_o a_o god_n and_o of_o a_o jesâ—s_n which_o thou_o have_v hear_v of_o there_o see_v thy_o simplicity_n now_o how_o can_v thou_o prove_v the_o scripture_n to_o be_v true_a alas_o they_o be_v make_v by_o man_n invention_n there_o be_v no_o hold_n for_o thou_o to_o take_v there_o thus_o be_v unquiet_a i_o spend_v my_o day_n and_o night_n in_o tear_n and_o sigh_n and_o groan_n sometime_o think_v with_o myself_o if_o i_o shall_v be_v save_v why_o be_o i_o thus_o then_o again_o conclude_v that_o there_o be_v no_o heaven_n no_o god_n no_o jesus_n no_o good_a angel_n only_o a_o hell_n there_o be_v and_o devil_n to_o carry_v i_o thither_o who_o wait_v in_o every_o corner_n and_o behind_o every_o door_n to_o snatch_v i_o away_o and_o i_o see_v there_o be_v no_o remedy_n but_o the_o more_o i_o strive_v the_o fast_o i_o stuek_v i_o faint_v and_o lay_v down_o my_o arm_n and_o cowardly_o yield_v to_o the_o enemy_n argue_v with_o myself_o if_o i_o be_o a_o firebrand_n of_o hell_n a_o child_n of_o perdition_n a_o limb_n of_o satan_n and_o my_o portion_n be_v to_o be_v with_o the_o devil_n and_o his_o angel_n why_o live_v i_o long_o upon_o the_o earth_n why_o go_v i_o not_o to_o my_o own_o place_n thus_o content_a to_o perish_v i_o wander_v about_o the_o space_n of_o half_a a_o year_n no_o man_n nor_o woman_n be_v privy_a to_o nor_o know_v the_o least_o of_o all_o my_o thought_n at_o length_n conclude_v that_o the_o night_n ensue_v will_v be_v my_o last_o night_n that_o i_o shall_v stay_v here_o on_o earth_n as_o one_o desire_v to_o be_v at_o home_n i_o careless_o leave_v my_o family_n and_o go_v to_o bed_n as_o it_o be_v invite_v the_o devil_n to_o come_v and_o take_v their_o due_n but_o mark_v i_o pray_v you_o the_o goodness_n of_o our_o god_n who_o be_v with_o i_o all_o this_o while_n and_o i_o be_v not_o aware_a of_o it_o for_o even_o that_o same_o night_n the_o little_a dog_n leap_v upon_o the_o bed_n i_o think_v it_o be_v the_o devil_n who_o be_v come_v to_o fetch_v i_o away_o i_o scream_v forth_o aloud_o but_o when_o i_o perceive_v it_o be_v the_o dog_n and_o not_o the_o devil_n i_o begin_v to_o think_v thut_n sure_o there_o be_v a_o god_n that_o have_v preserve_v i_o all_o this_o while_n in_o a_o most_o grievous_a agony_n i_o spend_v that_o night_n weep_v and_o although_o it_o be_v winter_n yet_o i_o sweat_v that_o the_o water_n run_v from_o off_o every_o part_n of_o my_o body_n be_v in_o this_o sad_a condition_n i_o think_v it_o be_v not_o right_a but_o sure_o some_o mean_n may_v be_v use_v to_o get_v out_o of_o it_o and_o rise_v the_o more_o early_o in_o the_o morning_n go_v up_o into_o the_o high_a room_n that_o be_v in_o the_o house_n and_o look_v forth_o at_o the_o window_n to_o see_v if_o i_o can_v see_v god_n there_o i_o behold_v the_o tree_n to_o grow_v the_o bird_n to_o fly_v the_o heaven_n how_o they_o hang_v and_o all_o thing_n that_o be_v before_o i_o than_o i_o think_v they_o can_v not_o make_v themselves_o no_o more_o than_o i_o can_v make_v myself_o and_o that_o we_o must_v needs_o have_v a_o maker_n and_o this_o maker_n must_v be_v strong_a and_o powerful_a then_o i_o fall_v down_o upon_o my_o knee_n cry_v out_o in_o this_o manner_n o_o god_n if_o there_o be_v a_o god_n show_v thyself_o to_o i_o a_o poor_a miserable_a wretch_n that_o i_o be_o at_o the_o point_n to_o perish_v then_o i_o think_v i_o see_v the_o lord_n but_o with_o a_o frown_a countenance_n he_o look_v upon_o i_o as_o if_o he_o have_v say_v thou_o have_v displease_v i_o and_o i_o will_v not_o hear_v thou_o and_o turn_v his_o back_n go_v from_o i_o which_o sight_n be_v as_o a_o dart_n thrust_v through_o my_o soul_n for_o the_o space_n of_o half_a a_o hour_n divers_a thought_n enter_v into_o my_o heart_n but_o before_o i_o rise_v from_o off_o my_o knee_n i_o resolve_v to_o become_v a_o earnest_a suitor_n to_o he_o and_o not_o to_o do_v any_o thing_n more_o that_o shall_v displease_v he_o hope_v that_o he_o will_v be_v entreat_v for_o that_o which_o be_v pass_v but_o now_o i_o beseech_v you_o godly_a christian_n to_o take_v notice_n of_o the_o wonderful_a working_n of_o our_o good_a god_n who_o judgement_n be_v unsearchable_a and_o his_o way_n past_o find_v out_o he_o have_v call_v many_o time_n at_o the_o door_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o have_v but_o small_a and_o slight_a entertainment_n but_o now_o he_o come_v violent_o and_o powerful_o to_o take_v possession_n of_o his_o own_o and_o set_v i_o about_o his_o work_n in_o myself_o then_o i_o begin_v to_o think_v what_o i_o shall_v do_v and_o whether_o i_o shall_v go_v to_o pacify_v the_o wrath_n of_o this_o terrible_a and_o dreadful_a god_n by_o who_o providence_n i_o be_v bring_v to_o a_o church_n in_o westminster_n where_o mr._n dod_n a_o very_a godly_a and_o reverend_a divine_a be_v preach_v a_o funeral_n sermon_n i_o go_v in_o hope_v to_o hear_v some_o comfort_n give_v attentive_a heed_n his_o text_n be_v with_o my_o dead_a body_n they_o shall_v arise_v see_v here_o my_o god_n do_v not_o only_o make_v a_o scourge_n of_o small_a cord_n and_o whip_v out_o the_o buyer_n and_o seller_n but_o he_o do_v over-turn_a and_o overturn_v and_o overturn_v for_o this_o minister_n do_v not_o only_o preach_v to_o the_o people_n but_o show_v i_o as_o it_o be_v in_o a_o looking-glass_n my_o own_o condition_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o by_o the_o gate_n of_o hell_n many_o time_n god_n be_v please_v to_o bring_v his_o servant_n to_o heaven_n be_v hungry_a and_o thirsty_a i_o be_v glad_a of_o a_o little_a food_n and_o present_o catch_v hold_v of_o that_o word_n be_v it_o so_o think_v i_o then_o there_o be_v comfort_n for_o i_o i_o will_v about_o my_o work_n if_o it_o please_v god_n to_o assist_v i_o in_o his_o sermon_n he_o ask_v divers_a question_n to_o which_o my_o heart_n make_v answer_v so_o that_o i_o come_v home_o joyful_a long_v to_o hear_v more_o of_o his_o doctrine_n which_o fall_v out_o as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v on_o purpose_n for_o my_o sake_n so_o that_o for_o a_o month_n or_o five_o week_n i_o hear_v two_o three_o four_o or_o five_o sermon_n from_o he_o constant_o every_o week_n wherein_o he_o bid_v i_o try_v and_o prove_v whether_o i_o have_v faith_n or_o no_o whether_o i_o do_v hate_v my_o sin_n or_o no_o and_o what_o have_v be_v the_o sign_n and_o fruit_n thereof_o he_o likewise_o bid_v i_o search_v the_o scripture_n for_o they_o be_v true_a and_o compare_v my_o condition_n with_o the_o child_n of_o god_n there_o but_o after_o he_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o condition_n which_o i_o make_v know_v to_o he_o private_o he_o be_v very_o laborious_a to_o bring_v my_o soul_n out_o of_o the_o jaw_n of_o death_n and_o to_o raise_v it_o up_o to_o jesus_n christ_n for_o which_o pain_n i_o hope_v my_o god_n will_v reward_v he_o to_o his_o everlasting_a comfort_n but_o one_o thing_n i_o have_v almost_o forget_v when_o i_o be_v in_o the_o depth_n of_o my_o spiritual_a dejection_n i_o be_v utter_o deny_v all_o outward_a comfort_n my_o god_n hide_v his_o face_n i_o be_v trouble_v the_o sun_n the_o moon_n and_o the_o star_n seem_v in_o their_o course_n to_o fight_v against_o i_o my_o neighbour_n fall_v out_o with_o i_o and_o mock_v i_o my_o kindred_n desert_v i_o my_o captain_n christ_n offend_v make_v i_o run_v the_o gauntlet_n and_o every_o soldier_n have_v a_o lash_n at_o i_o whatsoever_o happen_v unto_o i_o bring_v sorrow_n to_o my_o heart_n but_o when_o i_o be_v persuade_v that_o the_o scripture_n be_v true_a i_o set_v myself_o to_o search_v they_o to_o see_v what_o comfort_n i_o can_v find_v there_o beginning_n at_o the_o alpha_n of_o genesis_n i_o find_v in_o the_o beginning_n god_n create_v the_o heaven_n and_o the_o earth_n and_o all_o therein_o well_o then_o though_o i_o there_o be_v a_o god_n but_o view_v a_o little_a further_o i_o find_v this_o god_n
injurious_a yet_o obtain_v mercy_n that_o in_o he_o christ_n jesus_n may_v show_v forth_o all_o long-suffering_a for_o a_o pattern_n to_o they_o that_o shall_v after_o believe_v on_o he_o to_o eternal_a life_n 1_o tim._n 1.13,16_o so_o god_n strike_v he_o to_o the_o ground_n as_o it_o be_v by_o a_o light_n from_o heaven_n and_o a_o voice_n of_o thunder_n round_o about_o he_o insomuch_o that_o now_o the_o scale_n fall_v from_o his_o eye_n as_o they_o do_v from_o the_o apostle_n paul_n his_o stony_a heart_n be_v open_v and_o stream_n of_o tear_n gush_v out_o the_o bitter_a but_o wholesome_a rear_v of_o true_a repentance_n the_o mean_n which_o prepare_v the_o way_n for_o this_o wonderful_a change_n be_v a_o sharp_a and_o painful_a sickness_n with_o which_o he_o be_v visit_v which_o the_o almighty_a often_o make_v use_n of_o to_o reduce_v the_o wander_a sinner_n to_o the_o knowledge_n of_o god_n and_o of_o himself_o and_o though_o to_o forsake_v our_o sin_n then_o when_o we_o can_v no_o long_o commit_v they_o seem_v to_o be_v rather_o necessity_n than_o choice_n yet_o we_o often_o find_v that_o god_n use_v one_o to_o bring_v about_o the_o other_o and_o improve_v a_o force_a abstinence_n from_o sin_n into_o a_o settle_a loathe_v and_o a_o true_a detestation_n of_o it_o as_o in_o the_o case_n of_o manasseh_n in_o 2_o chron._n and_o of_o the_o prodigal_a son_n luke_n 20._o and_o god_n say_v of_o ephraim_n i_o will_v be_v unto_o ephraim_n as_o a_o lion_n i_o will_v tear_v and_o go_v away_o and_o none_o shall_v relieve_v he_o till_o they_o acknowledge_v their_o offence_n and_o seek_v my_o face_n and_o in_o their_o affliction_n they_o will_v seek_v i_o early_o hos_fw-la 5.14,15_o though_o some_o stubborn_a nature_n fly_n in_o the_o face_n of_o their_o heavenly_a father_n while_o he_o be_v correct_v they_o and_o other_o be_v like_a to_o those_o child_n who_o while_o under_o the_o rod_n promise_v wonder_n and_o present_o forget_v all_o as_o the_o psalmist_n say_v when_o he_o slay_v they_o than_o they_o seek_v he_o and_o they_o return_v and_o inquire_v early_o after_o god_n never_o theless_o they_o do_v but_o flatter_v he_o with_o their_o mouth_n and_o lie_v unto_o he_o with_o their_o tongue_n for_o their_o heart_n be_v not_o right_a with_o he_o nor_o continue_v they_o steadfast_a in_o his_o covenant_n psal_n 78.34_o etc._n etc._n and_o probable_o this_o have_v be_v this_o penitent_n case_v former_o but_o there_o be_v a_o evident_a difference_n betwixt_o the_o effect_n of_o this_o last_o sickness_n upon_o he_o and_o many_o other_o before_o for_o he_o tell_v the_o minister_n that_o he_o have_v now_o other_o sentiment_n and_o thought_n of_o thing_n and_o act_v upon_o quite_o different_a principle_n he_o be_v not_o vex_v that_o his_o sickness_n be_v painful_a or_o that_o it_o hinder_v he_o from_o his_o sin_n which_o he_o long_v again_o to_o be_v at_o but_o submit_v patient_o to_o it_o accept_v it_o as_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n and_o be_v thankful_a blessing_n and_o praise_v god_n not_o only_o in_o his_o extremity_n but_o for_o they_o also_o and_o whereas_o former_o he_o have_v so_o habituate_v himself_o to_o curse_v and_o swear_v that_o he_o use_v it_o almost_o every_o minute_n there_o be_v now_o no_o curse_n no_o rail_n nor_o reproach_n to_o his_o servant_n or_o those_o about_o he_o which_o in_o other_o sickness_n be_v their_o usual_a entertainment_n but_o he_o treat_v they_o with_o all_o the_o meekness_n and_o patience_n in_o the_o world_n beg_v pardon_n frequent_o of_o the_o mean_a of_o his_o attendant_n but_o for_o a_o hasty_a word_n which_o the_o extremity_n of_o his_o sickness_n and_o sharpness_n of_o his_o disease_n proceed_v from_o a_o ulcer_n in_o his_o bladder_n which_o cause_v his_o urine_n to_o pass_v from_o he_o with_o intolerable_a pain_n may_v easy_o force_v from_o he_o of_o which_o one_o instance_n be_v relate_v that_o call_v for_o something_o which_o he_o think_v be_v not_o bring_v he_o soon_o enough_o he_o cry_v that_o damn_a fellow_n but_o be_v gentle_o admonish_v instant_o recollect_v himself_o complain_v of_o that_o language_n of_o hell_n or_o fiend_n which_o he_o say_v have_v be_v former_o so_o familiar_a to_o he_o that_o it_o still_o hang_v about_o he_o whereas_o none_o deserve_v to_o be_v damn_v more_o than_o he_o have_v do_v and_o desire_v to_o ask_v his_o servant_n pardon_v for_o that_o rash_a say_n his_o prayer_n be_v not_o now_o so_o much_o for_o ease_n or_o health_n or_o a_o continuance_n of_o his_o life_n as_o for_o grace_n and_o faith_n and_o perfect_a resignation_n to_o the_o will_n of_o god_n so_o that_o it_o may_v be_v charitable_o and_o just_o conclude_v that_o his_o sickness_n be_v not_o the_o chief_a ingredient_n but_o through_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n a_o effectual_a mean_n of_o true_a though_o late_a repentance_n for_o though_o it_o be_v a_o deathbed_n repentance_n and_o therefore_o full_a of_o danger_n and_o the_o utmost_a hazard_n yet_o it_o be_v not_o whole_o impossible_a to_o be_v true_a nor_o absolute_o desperate_a since_o that_o god_n who_o be_v a_o god_n of_o infinite_a compassion_n and_o forbearance_n allow_v he_o leisure_n and_o opportunity_n for_o repentance_n by_o a_o long_a and_o linger_a sickness_n that_o he_o awaken_v he_o out_o of_o his_o spiritual_a slumber_n by_o a_o pungent_a distemper_n as_o to_o provide_v prudent_o for_o his_o worldly_a affair_n and_o yet_o not_o to_o be_v distract_v nor_o divert_v by_o they_o from_o the_o thought_n of_o a_o better_a world_n that_o god_n lengthen_v out_o his_o day_n of_o grace_n and_o accompany_v the_o ordinary_a mean_n of_o salvation_n and_o the_o weak_a ministry_n of_o his_o word_n with_o the_o convince_a and_o overrule_a power_n of_o his_o spirit_n to_o his_o conscience_n which_o word_n of_o god_n become_v to_o he_o quick_a and_o powerful_a sharp_a than_o any_o two-edged_a sword_n pierce_v even_o to_o the_o divide_v asunder_o of_o his_o soul_n and_o spirit_n and_o at_o last_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n witness_v to_o his_o spirit_n that_o now_o he_o be_v become_v one_o of_o the_o child_n of_o god_n upon_o my_o first_o visit_n to_o he_o say_v the_o minister_n at_o his_o return_n from_o a_o journey_n out_o of_o the_o west_n he_o most_o glad_o receive_v i_o show_v i_o extraordinary_a respect_n upon_o the_o score_n of_o my_o office_n and_o thank_v god_n who_o have_v in_o mercy_n and_o good_a providence_n send_v i_o to_o he_o who_o so_o much_o need_v my_o prayer_n and_o counsel_n acknowledge_v how_o unworthy_o heretofore_o he_o have_v treat_v minister_n of_o the_o gospel_n reproach_v they_o that_o they_o be_v proud_a and_o prophesy_v only_o for_o reward_n but_o now_o he_o have_v learn_v how_o to_o value_v they_o that_o he_o esteem_v they_o the_o servant_n of_o the_o most_o high_a god_n who_o be_v to_o show_v to_o he_o the_o way_n to_o everlasting_a life_n at_o the_o same_o time_n i_o find_v he_o labour_v under_o strange_a trouble_n and_o conflict_n of_o mind_n his_o spirit_n wound_v and_o his_o conscience_n full_a of_o terror_n upon_o this_o journey_n he_o tell_v i_o he_o have_v be_v argue_v with_o great_a vigour_n against_o god_n and_o religion_n than_o ever_o he_o have_v do_v in_o his_o life-time_n before_o and_o that_o he_o be_v resolve_v to_o run_v they_o down_o with_o all_o the_o argument_n and_o spite_n in_o the_o world_n but_o like_o the_o great_a convert_n st._n paul_n he_o find_v it_o hard_o to_o kick_v against_o the_o prick_n for_o god_n at_o that_o time_n have_v so_o strike_v his_o heart_n by_o his_o immediate_a hand_n that_o present_o he_o argue_v as_o strong_o for_o god_n and_o virtue_n as_o before_o he_o have_v do_v against_o it_o he_o declare_v that_o god_n strange_o open_v his_o heart_n create_v in_o his_o mind_n most_o awful_a and_o tremendous_a thought_n and_o apprehension_n of_o the_o divine_a majesty_n with_o a_o delightful_a contemplation_n of_o the_o divine_a nature_n and_o attribute_n and_o of_o the_o loveliness_n of_o religion_n and_o 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