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heaven_n beast_n earth_n fowl_n 2,016 5 9.9276 5 false
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A13436 The complaint of Christmas, and the teares of Twelfetyde by Iohn Taylor. Taylor, John, 1580-1653. 1631 (1631) STC 23745.5; ESTC S1017 21,673 51

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grumbling Seruingman that opened his mouth wider than a trap doore told me there was no entertainment for me but began to raile at me and said that his Master was the worse for me by a thousand pound a yeare therefore bid me be gone for he had warrant from his Master to locke me out of doores telling mee moreouer if I would speake with his master I must to London for he was soiourning there not intending to returne while the Parliament was ended Well thought I it were good if the Proclamation that summons all Country-Gentlemen to returne into the Countrey would ●ake hold of him and many others that lye lurking there because they would not be troubled in the Country with their poore nieghbours As for thy Master that spent more in three or foure yeare than hee is able to get together againe in threescore I did not entice to that expence Can I helpe his riot and excesse I desire to vndoe no man I loue to see men bountifull not prodigall I neuer enticed him to luxury I thought what would become of his prodigality He was prodigall because hee would be accounted a good house-keeper A good house-keeper Oh simplicity that for keeping three or foure prodigall and fulsome feasts he should make himselfe a begger for euer after I thinke indeed now that a good house is abler to keepe him than he a good house No no they are the meanes that blesse no man can liue without them though few haue them What cause had your Master to feast all the richest in the Country and at one sumptuous and sinfull supper to consume more than would releeue a Parish of poore folks a quarter Is this charity No no. But I thinke your Master doth scarce know where he may reade this His fulsome gluttonous and Bacchanalian Feasts did presage of fasts It grieved mee first to foresee it now to know it Is it charity to lard and grease the fat Country Bores I meane the rich chuffes that haue enough in their Barnes to releeue themselues and their poore neighbours This kils not cures charity Gluttonous Feasts cost much doe little good much hurt They mingle Earth Heauen Sea and Fire in their bellies at one sitting What Fowle soeuer flies in the Aire what Beast soeuer treads on the Earth what Fish soeuer swimmes in the Sea and what strange drinkes Wines and strong Waters soeuer that are of fiery natures we barrall vp in our bellies at one dinner or supper So that the confusion of these Elements cannot choose but beget diuers tempests in vs which like earthquakes continually shake our bodies by the arising of hot and fiery vapours from our stomackes So that if Nature could finde her tongue now as in the dayes of Ouid shee would complaine once more to Ioue of her wrongs for is it not against Nature to see fishes that should swimme in the Seas first swimme in wine vinegar then in wine being so scorcht carbonadoed sows'd and so martyred that when it comes to the Table a man cannot iudge whether it be fish or flesh Then to haue another dish brought to the boord couer'd ouer with an inundation of Vinegar Oyle and Pepper Is it not against Nature to haue pounds of Butter rosted whose Cooking with white-bread Cinamond and Sugar will cost more than halfe a dozen Milch Kine will yeeld in a weeke Is it not against Nature to haue Mutton larded with Ambergreece and breaded with Ciuet To haue Birds come to the Table lim'd to the dish with viscous and clammy sawces faster than they were before in the Fowlers lime-twigs And to haue many of these inuented and made dishes come to a Table doe you thinke it would not make Nature complaine Yes yes for all this doth no good to Charity And it is no wonder as the Philosopher faith why so suddenly we dye seeing we liue by Deathe Some will out-Epicure Geta the Emperour that had his Table furnish'd with dishes according to the Alphabet some againe almost as gluttonous as Theocritus Chius that hauing deuoured at one bit a liue fish said that hee had swallowed heauen To whom one answered that he wanted one thing which was to drinke off the Sea at a draught now if hee had but remembred to bid him eat the earth instead of bread he had made a pretty meale of it Alas alas this luxuriousnesse kils as many as Physicke Let Christmas be at a feast where is good store of good cheere but not too dainty or costly but such as a mans owne yard or pasture affords where the Tables are fill'd with guests not rich but poore not so few as the Graces that are onely three or no more than the Muses nine for a feast ought to be absolute for all commers I am of his minde for if I haue a moderate preparation of meat and drinke honest mirth good welcome and a cup of good Wine or Beere I care not for set Suppers high Musicke complementall Cringies No no if your master had but began thus moderately he need not now to haue taken the City ouer his head to hide himselfe from me But he is not the first that hath done so though that bee no excuse for him I would he might be the last for I and my followers fare the worse for him and such profuse Prodigals So away went I and my traine hauing little comfort yet as you may perceiue but as wee were walking and talking of our bad fortune wee might perceiue a plaine Country man come towards vs hee had high-shooes on that look'd as blacke as a Bullice white stockings made of the wooll of his owne Sheepe gray Trunke-hose with all accoutriments belonging to this Country plainenesse As soone as hee came somewhat nigh mee he began to salute mee and bid mee welcome into the Country telling me if it pleased me I should be welcome to his house So without many circumstances I tooke his proffer and with my now merry mates went toward his Farme which was not farre off As soone as we came into the yard well stored with Poultrey the Farmer himselfe shooke me by the hand and bid all the rest welcome The Dame of the house drest vp in her home-spunne Gowne came to meet me the Maid-seruants reioyced to see mee and the Plow-mens hearts leap'd in their straw-colour'd letherd Doublets for ioy of my approach Then with all Country solemnity I was had into the Parlour and set downe by a good fire I was presented with a cup of browne Ale seasoned with Sinamon Nutmegs and Sugar When dinner was ready I was set at the vpper end of the Table my owne company set round about me and the rest eat with the seruants We had Brawne of their owne feeding Beefe of their owne killing wee had braue plum broth in bole-dishes of a quart The White-loafe ranne vp and downe the Table like a Bowle in an Alley euery man might haue a fling at him the March Beere march'd vp and downe and