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B07563 1603. The vvonderfull yeare. Wherein is shewed the picture of London lying sicke of the Plague. ... Dekker, Thomas, ca. 1572-1632.; N. L. (Nicholas Ling), fl. 1580-1607, printer.; Creede, Thomas, d. 1619?, printer. 1603 (1603) STC 6535; ESTC S91632 33,610 47

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S. Clement whereas none of the other thrée euer had to do with any Saint he shall scape the better only let him take héede that hauing all this yeare buried his praiers in the bellies of Fat-ones and plump Capon-eaters for no worse meate would downe this Sly-foxes stomach let him I say take héede least his flesh now falling away his carcas be not plagude with leane ones of whō whilst the bill of Lord haue mercy vpon vs was to be denied in no place it was death for him to heare In this pittifull or rather pittilesse perplexitie stood London forsaken like a Louer forlorne like a widow and disarmde of all comfort disarmde I may wel say for fiue Rapiers were not stirring all this time and those that were worne had neuer bin séene if any money could haue bene lent vpon them so hungry is this Estridge disease that it will deuoure euen Iron let vs therefore with bag baggage march away from this dangerous sore Citie and visit those that are fled into the Country But alas Decidis in Scyllam you are pepperd if you visit them for they are visited alreadie the broad Arrow of Death flies there vp downe as swiftly as it doth here they that rode on the lustiest geldings could not out-gallop the Plague It ouer-tooke them and ouerturnd them too horse and foote You whom the arrowes of pestilence haue reacht at eightéen and twenty score tho you stood far enough as you thought frō the marke you that sickning in the hie way would haue bene glad of a bed in an Hospitall and dying in the open fieldes haue bene buried like dogs how much better had it bin for you to haue lyen fuller of byles plague-sores than euer did Iob so you might in that extremity haue receiued both bodily spiritual comfort which there was denied you For those misbeléeuing Pagans the plough-driuers those worse then Infidels that like their Swine neuer looke vp so high as heauen when Citizens boorded them they wrung their hands and wisht rather they had falne into the hands of Spaniards for the sight of a flat-cap was more dreadfull to a Lob than the discharging of a Caliuer a treble-ruffe being but once namd the Merchants set had power to cast a whole houshold into a cold sweate If one new suite of Sackcloth had bin but knowne to haue come out of Burchin-lane being the common Wardrope for all their Clowneships it had bin enough to make a Market towne giue vp the ghost A Crow that had bin séene in a sunne-shine day standing on the top of Powles would haue bin better than a Beacon on fire to haue raizd all the townes within ten miles of London for the kéeping her out Neuer let any man aske me what became of our Phisitions in this Massacre they hid their Synodicall heads aswell as the prowdest and I cannot blame them for their Phlebotomies Losinges and Electuaries with their Diacatholicons Diacodions Amulets and Antidotes had not so much strength to hold life and soule together as a pot of Pinders Ale and a Nutmeg their drugs turned to durt their simples were simple things Galen could do no more good than Sir Giles Goosecap Hipocrates Auicen Paracelsus Rasis Fernelius with all their succéeding rabble of Doctors and Water-casters were at their wits end or I thinke rather at the worlds end for not one of them durst péepe abroad or if any one did take vpon him to play the ventrous Knight the Plague put him to his Nonplus in such strange and such changeable shapes did this Cameleon-like sicknes appeare that they could not with all the cunning in their budgets make pursenets to take him napping Only a band of Desper-vewes some fewe Empiricall mad-caps for they could neuer be worth veluet caps turned themselues into Bées or more properlie into Drones and went humming vp and downe with hony-brags in their mouthes sucking the swéetenes of Siluer and now and then of Aurum Potabile out of the poison of Blaines and Carbuncles and these iolly Mountibanks clapt vp their bils vpon euery post like a Fencers Challenge threatning to canuas the Plague and to fight with him at all his owne seuerall weapons I know not how they sped but some they sped I am sure for I haue heard them band for the heauens because they sent those thither that were wisht to tary longer vpon earth I could in this place make your chéekes looke pale and your hearts shake with telling how some haue had 18. sores at one time running vpon them others 10. and 12. many 4. and 5. and how those that haue bin foure times wounded by this yeares infection haue dyed of the last wound whilst others that were hurt as often goe vp and downe now with sounder limmes then many that come out of France and the Netherlands And descending from these I could draw forth a Catalogue of many poore wretches that in fields in ditches in common Cages and vnder stalls being either thrust by cruell maisters out of doores or wanting all worldly succor but the common benefit of earth and aire haue most miserablie perished But to Chronicle these would weary a second Fabian We will therefore play the Souldiers who at the end of any notable battaile with a kind of sad delight rehearse the memorable acts of their friends that lye mangled before them some shewing how brauely they gaue the onset some how politickly they retirde others how manfullie they gaue and receiued wounds a fourth steps vp and glories how valiantlie he lost an arme all of them making by this meanes the remembrance euen of tragicall and mischieuous euents very delectable Let vs striue to do so discoursing as it were at the end of this mortall siege of the Plague of the seuerall most worthie accidents and strange birthes which this pestiferous yeare hath brought forth some of them yéelding Comicall and ridiculous stuffe others lamentable a third kind vpholding rather admiration then laughter or pittie As first to rellish the pallat of lickerish expectation and withall to giue an Item how sudden a stabber this ruffianly swaggerer Death is You must belieue that amongst all the weary number of those that on their bare-féete haue trauaild in this long and heauie vacation to the Holy-land one whose name I could for neede bestow vpon you but that I know you haue no néed of it the many want a good name lying in that cōmon Inne of sickmen his bed séeing the black blew stripes of the plague sticking on his flesh which he receiued as tokens from heauen that he was presentlie to go dwell in the vpper world most earnestlie requested and in a manner coniured his friend who came to enterchange a last farewell that he would sée him goe handsomely attirde into the wild Irish countrey of wormes and for that purpose to bestow a Coffin vpon him his friend louing him not because he was poore yet he was poore but because he was a scholler
brought to a new reckoning marry the bloud of the Burdeux Grape was first shead about it but in the end all anger on euery side was powred into a pottle-pot and there burnt to death Now whether this Recantation was true or whether the steeme of infection fuming vp like wine into her braines made her talke thus idlely I leaue it to the Iury. And whilst they are canuasing her case let vs sée what doings the Sexton of Stepny hath whose ware-houses being all full of dead commodities sauing one that one he left open a whole night yet was it half full too knowing that théeues this yeare were too honest to breake into such Cellers Besides those that were left there had such plaguy-pates that none durst meddle with them for their liues About twelue of the clocke at midnight when spirites walke and not a Mouse dare stirre because Cattes goe a Catter-walling Sinne that all day durst not shewe his head came réeling out of an Alehouse in the shape of a drunkard who no sooner smelt the winde but he thought the ground vnder him danced the Canaries houses séemed to turne on the toe and all things went rounde in so much that his legges drew a paire of Indentures betwéene his bodie and the earth the principall couenant being that he for his part would stand to nothing what euer he sawe euery trée that came in his way did he iustle and yet challendge it the next day to fight with him If he had clipt but a quarter so much of the Kings siluer as he did of the Kings English his carkas had long ere this bene carion for Crowes But he liued by gaming and had excellent casting yet seldom wonne for he drew reasonable good hands but had very bad féete that were not able to carry it away This setter vp of malt-men being troubled with the staggers fell into the self-same graue which stood gaping wide open for a breakfast next morning and imagining when he was in that he had stumbled into his own house and that all his bedfellowes as they were indéede were in their dead sléepe he neuer complaining of colde nor calling for more shéete soundly takes a nap till he snorts againe In the morning the Sexton comes plodding along and casting vpon his fingers ends what he hopes the dead pay of that day wil come too by that that which he receiued the day before for Sextons now had better doings than either Tauernes or bawdy-houses In that siluer contemplation shrugging his shoulders together he steppes ere he be aware on the brimmes of that pit into which this worshipper of Bacchus was falne where finding some dead mens bones and a scull or two that laie scattered here and there before he lookte into this Coffer of wormes those he takes vp and flinges them in one of the sculls battered the sconce of the sléeper whilest the bones plaide with his nose whose blowes waking his mustie worship the first word that he cast vp was an oath thinking the Cannes had flyen about cryed zoundes what doe you meane to cracke my mazer the Sexton smelling a voice feare being stronger than his heart beléeued verily some of the coarses spake to him vpon which féeling himselfe in a cold sweat tooke his héeles whilst the Goblin scrambled vp and ranne after him But it appeares the Sexton had the lighter foote for he ran so fast that hée ranne out of his wittes which being left behinde him he dyed in a short time after because he was not able to liue without them A meryer bargaine than the poore Sextons did a Tincker méete with all in a Countrey Towne through which a Citizen of London béeing driuen to kéepe himselfe vnder the léeshore in this tempestuous contagion and casting vp his eye for some harbour spied a bush at the ende of a poole the auncient badge of a Countrey Ale-house Into which as good lucke was without any resistance of the Barbarians that all this yeare vsed to kéepe such landing places veiling his Bonnet he strucks in The Host had bene a mad Gréeke mary he could now speake nothing but English a goodly fat Burger he was with a belly Arching out like a Béere-barrell which made his legges that were thicke short like two piles driuen vnder London-bridge to stradle halfe as wide as the toppe of Powles which vpon my knowledge hath bene burnt twice or thrice A leatherne pouche hung at his side that opened and shut with a Snap hance and was indéed a flaske for gun-powder when King Henry went to Bulloigne An Antiquary might haue pickt rare matter out of his Nose but that it was worme-eaten yet that proued it to be an an auncient Nose In some corners of it there were blewish holes that shonne like shelles of mother of Pearle and to doo his Nose right Pearles had bene gathered out of them other were richly garnisht with Rubies Chrisolites and Carbunckles which glistered so oriently that the Hamburgers offered I knowe not how many Dollars for his company in an East-Indian voyage to haue stoode a nightes in the Poope of their Admirall onely to saue the charges of candles In conclusion he was an Host to be ledde before an Emperour and though he were one of the greatest men in all the shire his bignesse made him not proude but he humbled himselfe to speake the base language of a Tapster and vpon the Londoners first arriuall cryed welcome a cloth for this Gentleman the Linnen was spread and furnisht presently with a new Cake and a Can the Roome voided and the Guest lefte like a French Lord attended by no bodie who drinking halfe a Can in conceit to the health of his best friend the Citie which laie extreame sicke and had neuer more néed of health I know not what qualmes came ouer his stomach but immediately he fell downe without vttering any more wordes and neuer rose againe Anon as it was his fashion enters my puffing Host to relieue with a fresh supply out of his Celler the shrinking Can if hée perceiued it stood in daunger to be ouerthrowne But séeing the chiefe Leader dropt at his féete and imagining at first hee was but wounded a little in the head held vp his gowty golles and blest himselfe that a Londoner who had wont to be the most valiant rob pottes should now be strooke downe only with two hoopes and therevpon iogd him fombling out these comfortable words of a souldier If thou art a man stand a thy legges he stird not for all this wherevpon the Maydes being raisde as it had bene with a hue and cry came hobling into the Roome like a flocke of Géese and hauing vpon search of the bodie giuen vp this verdict that the man was dead and murthered by the Plague Oh daggers to all their hearts that heard it Away trudge the wenches and one of them hauing had a freckled face all her life time was perswaded presently that now they were the tokens and had liked
to haue turned vp her héeles vpon it My gorbelly Host that in many a yeare could not without grunting crawle ouer a threshold but two foote broad leapte halfe a yarde from the coarse It was measured by a Carpenters rule as nimbly as if his guttes had bene taken out by the hangman out of the house he wallowed presently beeing followed with two or thrée doozen of napkins to drie vp the larde that ranne so fast downe his héeles that all the way hée went was more greazie than a kitchin-stuffe-wifes basket you woulde haue sworne it had bene a barrell of Pitch on fire if you had looked vpon him for suche a smoakie clowde by reason of his owne fattie hotte stéeme compassed him rounde that but for his voice he had quite bene lost in that stincking mist hanged himselfe hee had without all question in this pittifull taking but that hée feared the weight of his intollerable paunch would haue burst the Roape and so hee should be put to a double death At length the Towne was raised the Countrey came downe vpon him and yet not vppon him neither for after they vnderstood the Tragedie euery man gaue ground knowing my pursie Ale-cunner could not follow them what is to be done in this straunge Allarum The whole Village is in daunger to lye at the mercy of God and shall be bound to curse none but him for it they should doe well therefore to set fire on his house before the Plague scape out of it least it forrage higher into the Country and knocke them downe man woman and childe like Oxen whose blood they all sweare shall be required at his handes At these spéeches my tender-hearted Host fell downe on his maribones meaning indéed to intreat his audience to be good to him but they fearing hee had bene pepperd too as well as the Londoner tumbled one ouer another and were readie to breake their neckes for haste to be gone yet some of them being more valiant then the rest because they heard him roare out for some helpe verie desperately stept backe and with rakes and pitch-forkes lifted the gulch from the ground Cōcluding after they had laid their hogsheads togither to draw out some holesom counsel that whosoeuer would venture vpō the dead man bury him should haue fortie shillings out of the common towne-purse though it would be a great cut to it with the loue of the Churchwardens and Side-men during the terme of life This was proclaimd but none durst appeare to vndertake the dreadfull execution they loued money well mary the plague hanging ouer any mans head that should meddle with it in that sort they all vowde to dye beggers before it should be Chronicled they kild themselues for fortie shillings and in that braue resolution euery one with bag and baggage marcht home barricadoing their dores and windowes with firbushes ferne and bundles of straw to kéepe out the pestilence at the staues end At last a Tinker came sounding through the towne mine Hosts house being the auncient watring place where he did vse to cast Anchor You must vnderstand he was none of those base rascally Tinkers that with a bandog and a drab at their tailes and a pike-staffe on their necks will take a purse sooner then stop a kettle No this was a deuout Tinker he did honor God Pan a Musicall Tinker that vpon his kettle-drum could play any country dance you cald for and vpon Hollidayes had earnd money by it when no Fidler could be heard of He was onely feared when he stalkt through some townes where Bées were for he struck so swéetely on the bottome of his copper instrument that he would emptie whole Hiues and leade the swarmes after him only by the sound This excellent egregious Tinker calls for his draught being a double Iug it was fild for him but before it came to his nose the lamentable tale of the Londoner was told the Chamber-dore where he lay being thrust open with a long pole because none durst touch it with their hands and the Tinker bidden if he had the heart to goe in and sée if he knew him The Tinker being not to learne what vertue the medicine had which he held at his lippes powred it downe his throate merily and crying trillill he feared no plagues In he stept tossing the dead body too and fro and was sory he knew him not Mine Host that with griefe began to fall away villanously looking very rufully on the Tinker and thinking him a fit instrument to be plaid vpon offred a crowne out of his owne purse if he would bury the partie A crowne was a shrewd temptation to a Tinker many a hole might he stop before he could pick a crowne of it yet being a suttle Tinker and to make all Sextons pray for him because he would raise their fées an Angell he wanted to be his guide and vnder ten shillings by his ten bones he would not put his finger in the fire The whole parish had warning of this presentlie thirtie shillings was saued by the bargaine and the towne likely to be saued too therefore ten shillings was leuyed out of hand put into a rag which was tyed to the end of a long pole and deliuered in sight of all the parish who stoode aloofe stopping their noses by the Headboroughs owne selfe in proper person to the Tinker who with one hand receiued the money and with the other struck the boord crying hey a fresh double pot Which armor of proofe being fitted to his body vp he hoists the Londoner on his back like a Schoole-boy a Shouell and Pick-axe standing readie for him And thus furnished into a field some good distance from the towne he beares his deadly loade and there throwes it downe falling roundly to his tooles vpon which the strong beere hauing set an edge they quickly cut out a lodging in the earth for the Citizen But the Tinker knowing that wormes néeded no apparell sauing only shéetes stript him starke naked but first diu'de nimbly into his pocket to sée what linings they had assuring himselfe that a Londoner would not wander so farre without siluer his hopes were of the right stamp for from one of his pockets he drew a letherne bag with seauen pounds in it this musick made the Tinkers heart dance he quickly tumbled his man into the graue hid him ouer head and eares in dust bound vp his clothes in a bundle and carying that at the end of his staffe on his shoulder with the purse of seauen pounds in his hand back againe comes he through the towne crying alowd Haue ye any more Londoners to bury hey downe a downe dery haue ye any more Londoners to bury the Hobbinolls running away from him as if he had bin the dead citizens ghost and he marching away from them in all the hast he could with that song still in his mouth You sée therefore how dreadfull a fellow Death is making fooles euen of wisemen and cowards of