I haue alledged and diuers others whereas presumption doth only suggest that conceit vnto men but proues it not so that when they are asked why they thinke they shall bee saued they are not able to alleage any sound sufficient reason for the same 3. The witnes within me speaks the same that the word of God doth without me both being the voice of the self-same spirit of God which cannot contradict it selfe but presumptuous presumption speakes contrary to Gods word for whereas the Scripture saith h Mat. 18.13 Vnlesse a man bee conuerted hee cannot enter into the kingdome of God and i 1 Cor. 6.9 the vnrighteous shall not inherit the kingdome of God and k Heb. 12.14 without holinesse no man shall see the Lord and that the Lord will take l 1 Thes 1. vengeance on them that know him not and obey not the Gospell of our Lord Iesus Christ yet presumption beares men in hanâ— they shall be saued howsoeuer and is ready to buzze into their eares â—alas good Sir pitie your selfe these things shall not bee vnto you 4. Gods spirit doth as well m Rom. 8.27 make intercession for mee as witnes to me and therefore brings mee to God making me pray earnestly and feruently to him from a sense and feeling of my manifold sinnes with groanings which cannot be vttered but presumption driues men further from God neither worketh any such feruent prayer in them 5. Gods spirit brings forth the fruits of the Spirit in mee as loue ioy peace long-suffering gentlenes goodnes c. Gal. 5.22 whereas presumption as it is of the flesh so it yeelds the fruits of the flesh as adultery fornication vncleannesse wantonnesse hatred variance wrath strife enuyings murders drunkennesse reuellings and such like Gal. 5.19 and these are the common fruits of these daies which grow more commonly in townes and houses then crabs doe in woods and hedgrowes They which bring forth such fruits as these giue heede to the witch that speakes within them the spirit of Sathan who tells them they shall bee saued as as soone as the best and they beleeue him but I will heare what God the Lord will speake for hee will speake peace vnto his people and to his Saints Yea O Lord let mee heare this thy voyce within mee speake lowder that I may heare thee better O say vnto my soule I am thy saluation Min. There may appeare as manifest a difference betweene the witnesse of Gods holy spirit and the lying suggestion of the Diuell to such as are not wilfully blinde as is betweene light and darknesse truth and falshood But lest I be burdensome to you name one signe more of your saluation and that shall suffice Con. It is no whit irkesome to the men of this world to looke on their gold and siluer their deedes and leases nay they take a meruailous pleasure and delight therein why then should it be burdensome to the children of God to view and looke ouer the markes of their saluation seeing these are much more precious then gold that perisheth But for as much as you require but one signe more I will endeauor to comprehend all vnder one In summe then I perceiue that I am one of those whom God hath faithfully promised in his word to saue The fifteenth signe of saluation for though a number of men yea the greatest number thinke to get heauen though they haue neither scrip nor scrole to shew for it yet I haue both Gods word and his writing to shew or rather his word in writing that heauen belongs to me Now the Scripture is a true copie and draught of the booke of life taken out of the court of heauen by Gods owne hand so that there can be no error in it Hereby I know that my name is written in the booke of life because I finde my selfe enroled in Gods holy scripture among those to whom he hath promised eternall life Min. Indeede If you be of that number there is no doubt but you shall be saued For n 2. Tim. 2.13 he abideth faithfull hee cannot deny himselfe but are you sure that you are such a one Con. Though all that I haue hitherto said and the signes which I haue produced drawne out of Scripture and grounded thereon doe verifie the same yet if you will giue mee leaue I will further proue it by other expresse texts of Scripture though the same for the most part in substance with that I haue already said that as you haue seene my speciall euidences truely taken out of the graund copie so now you may also see the grand copy it selfe in the volume of which book I finde it written of me and that in sundry places that I shall bee saued Min. This would I gladly see proceed then to shew it Con. God in his word hath promised that o Ps 34.8 hee will bee nigh vnto them that are of a broken heart and that hee will saue such as hee of a contrite spirit he himselfe hath vndertaken the cure of such p Psal 147 Hee healeth those that are broken in heart and bindeth vp their wounds as it is in the Psalme and a wonderfull cure indeede he will work vpon them euen then when all helps do vtterly giue them ouer hee like the good Samaritane will binde vp their wounds and poure in the oile of comfort and wine of gladnesse hee will take them in his armes and bring them q Can. 1.4 into his Chambers hee will take the care of them and worke the cure on them for none can doe it but hee none can cure throughly the heart-wound and such as are sicke thereof but onely God Such a one am I I am bruised and broken in heart and spirit and distressed in conscience for my sinfulnesse and wretchednesse hauing by my sinnes O my sins so many great and grieuous deserued no lesse then the heauy wrath of God O wretched man that I am who shall deliuer mee from sin that vnwelcome guest nay that deadly enemy I thanke my God through Christ for by him I haue deliuerance Oh still vouchsafe deere God to visite mee thy poore patient and though I be not worthy with the Centurion that thou shouldst come vnder my Roofe yet farre bee it from mee to say as Peter r Luk. 5.8 Lord depart from mee for I am a sinful man nay rather therefore come to me for I haue the more neede of thee the whole neede not the Physition but the sicke as I am thou lookest for such a Patient sweet Iesus and I lacke such a Physition as thou art Oh bee pleased to come home vnto mee poure forth some more of thy precious oyle into my wounded heart Oh spread a plaister of thine owne heart blood and apply it to my soule r Can. 2.5 Stay me with thy flagons and comfort mee with thy apples for I am sick of loue My heart is wounded within mee but seeing thou hast
set grinnes for me purposing to cause my steps to slide and to ouerthrow my soule these do I see whereas men of the world see no such snares laid in their wayes by their spirituall enemies for the entrapping of their soules the murthering thereof for aske them and they cannot tell you of any but are like Samson f Iudg 1◠20.21 their enemies are vpon them and they fast a sleep in carnall security and so the Diuell preuailes against them puts out their eies and leades them captiues at his pleasure hee makes a mocke of them and makes sport with them but at length hee falls from iesting and brings them to destruction in good earnest Thirdly whereas these my enemies doe continually besiege mee seeking to inuade mee I therefore keepe daily watch and ward fortifying in this my little Kingdome the City of my soule and Castle of my heart I haue a speciall care to looke well to the gates and cinqueports my outward senses whereby oftentimes diuers traiterous thoughts and rebellious lusts are ready to steale in which cause very often much mutinie in the soules common-wealth for if I should grant liberty for sinne to breake in the diuell would enter too with his great Armado of his hellish spirits and would take possession placing his deputies in strongest holds as the spirit of blindnesse in the vnderstanding of error in the iudgement of lying and slumber in the conscience of deadnesse and hardnesse in the heart and so in the rest Thus with his Legions would hee ouer-runne mee desolate Fourthly I resolue when I am in the conflict with the allurements of the world the inticements of sinne the temptations of Sathan * Imperato rem oportet mori stantem said Vespatian so Christianū militantē may we say rather to die then to yeeld to any of them I purpose neuer to giue ouer fighting as long as I haue any breath within mee not doubting but I shall at length haue perfect victory onely through the might of the Almighty God who strengtheneth mee Fight thou O God against them that fight against me and stand vp for my helpe through thee I shall doe vallantly for thou shalt tread downe my enemies and bruise Sathan vnder my feet Min. Who else shall bee saued according to the tenure of the records of holy writ Con. Such as are g 2 Tim. 2.21 purged frō the pollutions of prophane ones and are sanctified are vessells vnto honour that is they which are made partakers of true grace and so haue the Image of God renewed in them h Eph. 4.24 which consisteth in Holinesse and true Righteousnesse shall bee heyres of glory these are they which are called Saints Yea the Lord himselfe that high and mighty Potentate is their Godfather for he hath giuen them this name what mortall man then dares bee so bold as to nick-name them with tearmes of reproach or to finde fault with this name of Saints which their heauenly God-father hath giuen vnto them Min. Me thinks none should dare once to miscall these or to deny them their names saying we cannot bee Saints heere but let them goe What is true sanctifying grace Con. A new created quallitie of holinesse throughout the i 1 Thes 5.23 whole man in spirit soule and bodie that is in minde will and all our bodily members yea in all the powers of the soule and parts of the bodie wrought in vs by Gods spirit for the honouring of him Min. Haue you this new qualitie of holinesse in you Con. I dare not denie but God of his mercy hath begun this worke of grace in some weak measure in mee for how could I possibly bee thankfull to the Lord for such an inestimable gift if I should not take notice of it and acknowledge it especially considering that the very least measure of sauing grace that can be is farre more worth than I can expresse or praise God for enough so long as I liue deny it therefore I dare not though it bee very small least I should bee vnthankfull to the Lord for so great a mercie as the lest seede of grace is but this I dare doe to pray to him for more yea and I beseech him to make me rich in all grace k Ph. 1.12 filled with the fruits of righteousnes vnto his glory and praise for he alone is l Act. 20.32 able to build mee vp further and to giue mee an inheritance among all them which are sanctified Min. It appeares by all these signes which you haue produced that your assurance is not that common counterfeit ware which goes for currant among a number of men a vaine fleeting conceit in the braine but that you are truly assured of your saluation I must confesse I can no way mislike these your euidences hauing thus examined them nor I thinke a whole councell of Diuines if they should sit to determine thereon I cannot see how any can pick a hole or finde a flaw herein I iudge that you haue as good a title to Heauen by these your Scripture euidences as the best landed man in the world hath or can haue to his best freehold by his parchment euidences But I pray you now tell mee further are you not somtimes troubled with feare and doubting of your saluation for all this Con. Oh alas good sir I must needs confesse that I am and that not a little to my griefe I am none of those confident fooles which neuer doubted in all their liues whereby they giue euidence against themselues that they neuer yet beleeued Min. But how then To striue against doubting diuers reasons do you not striue against doubting as being a very euill and permicious thing Con. Yes that I doe for to yeelde vnto that were to entertaine Sathan for my counceller who is my greatest aduersay and to take him for my chirurgian to heale my wounded hart who is my deadliest enemy no Sathan shall not be my chirurgian for in stead of healing the wounds of my heart hee will make himselfe more worke hee will make more sores then hee heales and those which hee seemes to heale hee doth but skin ouer with the stinking salue of falshood and the wounds which are hee will make deeper and more incurable let all good people take heede of this murdering chirurgian I haue experience enough of him therefore though hee doe impudently obtrude his salue vnto mee yet I cast it away from me that is I striue against doubting with all my might and power as one would worke against the pangs of death to retain life and breath and I am bound in conscience so to doe because I know for as much as I haue the true signes of saluation in mee doubting proceeds from the malice of Sathan who meanes me no good and from vnbeleefe of heart in me and is much preiudiciall to my soules comfort it is also greatly dishonourable to God for as a man hurts himselfe most by
shall bee saued by Christ for that perswasion which followes sound humiliation is faith that which goes before is presumption Therefore I may well be out of feare that my beleeuing is presuming nay I can not doe amisse in being perswaded that I shall bee saued I can not bee forward enough herein but this belongs not at all to them that were neuer troubled in minde nor wounded in conscience for the greatnesse of their sinnes the dread of hell and horrible wrath of God due to them for their sinnes for they indeed presume Min. I like and approue well of this that you say but let me heare if there bee any further matter which causeth doubting in you Con. Euill thoughts Doubting because of euill thoughts answered and cogitations are no small dauntment to me for neuer was the land of Aegypt more pestered with noysome vermine than I am with foule filthy impious yea sometimes blasphemous thoughts against the holy maiesty of God they come vpon me thicke and three-fold I can at no time in no place be quiet for them yea when I am in the presence of God speaking vnto him by prayer or he speaking to mee by his word or when I am about any other holy duty euen then they come crowding in vpon me I wonder somtimes with my selfe how or which way they should so creepe in to amaze and astonie me and withall to choke and interrupt the holy businesse I haue in hand the vglinesse of these euill thoughts works horror and quaking in my heart and makes mee thinke my selfe no better than a firebrand of hell and that I might do well O Lord forgiue that horrible and murdering thought to make away my selfe Min. This seemes to bee as strong a Diuell as any that driues you thus neere the gates of death I had almost said of hell how doe you to recouer strength and to get the victory ouer him Con. Strong hee is indeed but o 1 Ioh. 4.4 greater is hee that is in vs than hee that is in the world First therefore I consider that I do not loue like and approue of these euill thoughts wherewith I am so combred nay I abhor them as the Diuell himself by whom they are hatched insomuch as they make mee euen weary of my selfe because of the stinking breath thereof continually steaming forth ready almost to choake my soule and when Sathan by these thoughts doth breake in violently vpon mee I doe not bid him welcome and lay him as it were a cushen to take vp his seat in my minde and heart to haue residence in me by these so vile and horrible motions and cogitations but I deale by him and them as men doe by theeues that breake into their houses at vnawares they giue them no abode but hunt and driue them out againe so soone as euer they come within the threshold with all the speed power that they can and therefore the Lord will not account mee a friend vnto them much lesse the father of them I shall not beare their name much lesse the burden of them he will neuer lay them to my charge to answere for them Secondly I am resolued as long as I liue for so long I shall bee troubled with them to resist them with all my might And like as r Gen. 32.2 6. Iacob ceased not to wrestle though his thigh was bruised till hee had the blessing so neither will I till I haue got the victory Thirdly I know that the Lord will not be angry with mee for these euill thoughts which I consent not to nor take no pleasure in but hate for will a tender mother bee angry with the babe shee beares in her armes because some naughty people fling stones at it hurt it and make it cry nay will not rather her bowels vern to ward it will shee not rather hugge it closer to her stroake it kisse it and bemoane it but her anger is toward them that fling stones at it whereby they bruised and battered the face of it she could finde in her heart to flie in their face and to scratch out their eyes that did her childe that harme surely then the Lord will not bee offended with mee because my enemies Sathan and the flesh cast fiery darts at mee thereby wound mee for I cannot helpe it but his fierce indignation is against them for that they doe so molest me and he doth and will both pitie and helpe mee so much the more for q Psal 103 13. as a father pittieth his children so the Lord pittieth them that feare him and his affection toward his children is infinitely farre surpassing the affection of the tender heartedst mother in the world toward her dearest babe for though a mother could forget the childe of her wombe yet would not I forget you saith the Lord. Min. Yet a litle more I pray you let vs heare of Sathans deepe subtletie and hellish policie in labouring to defeat you of all true comfort here and of heauen it selfe heereafter Con. Doubting because of afflictions answered Sometimes hee would needs perswade mee and my owne heart withall is ouer-greedy I confesse to catch vp and swallow such poysoned morsels that I am none of Gods children and that the Lord doth not loue mee because I am kept so neere and bare and am so followed continually with afflictions I am hardly free at any time from one or other they are like Iobs messengers while one is speaking to me before he hath done his message fully there comes in another sicknes paines aches losses of friends goods good name outward crosses and calamities innumerable beside the inward affliction of the minde oh That the greatest of all for a wounded spirit who can beare a rare thing it is not to see mee vnder some one or other of these to keepe me downe whereas I see the wicked wallow in their wealth as they doe in their wickednesse and Esaus portion is r Gen. 27.39 the fatnesse of the earth they swim vp to the chin in riuers of oyle and wash their paths with butter Å¿ Iob. 21.24 15.27 their breasts are full of milke and their bones run full of marrow their faces are couered with fatnesse and they haue collops in their flanke yea t Ps 73.7 their eyes stand out for fatnesse and they haue more than heart can wish yea u Ps 119.70 their very heart is fat as grease they are so fat so lusty and strong that they kicke vp their heeles against their keeper and will not know their daily benefactor but contemne their master * Iob. 21.14 They say to God depart from vs for wee desire not the knowledge of thy wayes Beholde these are the vngodly who prosper in the world they increase in riches but as for mee poore wretch x Psal 73 14.12 all the day long haue I beene punished and chastened euery morning heereupon my feet were almost gone my steps had