strengthened and set forward to glorifie God in Christ in necessar duties As for the maner and measure to be keeped in the use of things lawfull prudence must be asked of God who will direct us in this as in other Christian duties CHAP. XVI Concerning the converts suspicion that his softness of heart is nothing but a natural disposition to weep upon any occasion VVHen the Lord hath taken away from the sinner a heart of stone and hath given unto him a heart of flesh so that he dar not any more harden himself against the threatnings of Gods Word but doth tremble at the hearing thereof as speaketh Isaiah 66. 2. and in his prayer doth pour forth his heart ordinarily with tears he may as experience hath taught fall in a suspicion of this ordinar or frequent melting of heart as if it were nothing else but a childish or woman-like temper of body and spirit and no evidence of contrition for spiritual causes which the Scripture requireth and commendeth in the penitent 2. In this case there is danger on either hand if the convert be not wary and circumspect in this condition for on the one hand he is in hazard of making light account of the work of God who hath taken from him the heart of stone and given him an heart of flesh On the other hand he is in hazard of laying too much weight on his tears if once he be satisfied about the suspicion he hath of his own tears and made clear that they were proofs and evidences of his sincerity in his prayers to God That there is a danger on either hand experience hath taught for some sincere converts having entertained the suspicion that their tears in prayer proceeded from the soft temper of their natural complexion disposition of spirit have resisted their inclination to mourn and striven against letting forth of tears so far that they have become so dry for a long time and have prayed more perfunctoriously then before that when just causes of grief and tears were given unto them they were not able to bring forth one tear for easing of their grieved heart On the other hand experience hath taught that some looking upon the expressions of the Saints in Scripture concerning their tears have laid so much weight upon their tears as they have numbered in a manner all the drops of their eyes and from the lesse or more quantity of them made reckoning of their own better or worse condition and of Gods acceptation of their prayers lesse or more 3. This tendernesse of heart and easinesse to be moved unto tears for spiritual motives is a rare gift Few they are who with sense of the body of death and original sin bearing them down do lament their natural sinfulnesse in their best condition with Paul Rom. 7. 24. Few shall be found so affectionat to the glory of God and salvation of peoples souls as to pour out tears both in secret and openly for promoving thereof as the Apostle did Act. 20. 19 21. and 2 Cor. 2. 4. Few like Timothy whose heart was so tender that the Apostle could not but observe his tears and remember them 2 Tim. 1. 4. Yet we doubt not that from age to age sundry be who by the grace of God have this constantly melting heart according to the measure of Gods free donation some with tears some without tears And therefore if there be found in such mourners an honest endeavour to walk circumspectly let not the suspicion that their tendernesse is but natural weaknesse of spirit or bodily complexion be entertained Only let the giver of the grace of a tender heart be relyed upon and not their tears as if they were any more then witnesses of their honest affection in spiritual exercises for such prayers may prove sincere and acceptable to God both when they cannot mourn and also when their heart seemeth withered hard and dry CHAP. XVII Concerning the converts suspicion that all his devotion is but lip-labour which is not joyned with a tender and melting heart and with Gods sensible approbation AS some are suspicious of their condition because of their ordinar tendernesse and melting of heart So other some are suspicious of their condition because they find not their heart tender and soft in their devotion All converts do agree in this that God must be worshiped in spirit and truth and that it is not acceptable worship to God if a man draw near him with his lips when his heart is far from him whereupon every convert when he is mindfull of his duty goeth about to worship God with understanding and inward affection of heart to confesse sin deprecat wrath ask of God things necessar interceed for others give thanks to God for his benefits and praise him for his works and working so as his affections may be conform to his expressions and the conscience may approve both his words and his hearty affections and God may with his peace and consolation approve the worshiper But some converts are who albeit in sincerity they worship God yet they count all their devotion to be but lip-labour except they find their affections wakened up and their heart tender and some vigour of spiritual life in their exercises and the sense of Gods approbation of their worship by giving sense of his peace and consolation to them in their worship Hence oft-times doth suspicion arise without just ground that they are deserted of God that he is displeased with them and this suspicion being entertained doth send forth complaints and bringeth on coldrifenesse in prayer and discouragement 2. This unjust suspicion of the grace of prayer the Lord doth oft-times chastise by with-drawing peace and comfort and order in prayer and of words also that he who complained that his devotion was but lip-labour because he sound not such measure of affection as he would have had nor that consolation which he wished to have shall find himself in worse taking after his complaining then he was in at first when he began to suspect his condition It is true that confusion of mind and want of words to expresse the case wherein he is may fall on a convert by reason of afflictions and manifold temptations and yet he may be free from this suspicion of Gods affection and acceptation of his person and prayers as the Apostle doth teach us Rom. 8. 26. Likewayes the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities for we know not what we should pray for as we ought but the Spirit it self maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered But when this cutting short of the gift of prayer in any measure doth follow after suspicion of Gods respect and good will toward the complaining and discouraged convert it is a fatherly chastisement from God threatning the convert with a greater measure of desertion and heavier temptation except he repent his folly and return to God whom by his suspicion and misbelief he hath offended 3. For remedy of
private when he finds an indisposition of mind unto it SUndry converts when they perceive the unfitnesse of their spirits to offer immediat worship to God in prayer praises or thanksgiving especially in private do fall in doubt with themselves whether it be better to delay the offer of their worship till they find themselves well disposed for it or to go on as they may albeit they apprehend their lips polluted and their hearts far away from God Their fear on the one hand is lest they should pollute the worship and take Gods name in vain on the other hand they fear lest they fall in the guiltinesse of omitâ—ing a prescribed duty The question shall be what the doubting convert should determine and do 2. For answer this case is spoken unto before 2. Book Chap. 17. in as far as the convert determineth not and doth not what is right but goeth wrong and pleaseth himself in his bad condition But here we speak to this case as the convert is in doubt only and desireth to be keeped from deceiving himself In which case we say that as it is the converts doubt so we must confesse that this case of indisposition and unâ—itnesse for spiritual exercises is very frequent and is ordinarily and oft-times a chastisement of us drawn on by our selves because we do not watch unto prayer we do not study to keep our hearts in the fear of the Lord all the day long we do not foster that tendernesse of conscience which might furnish us mater of humiliation and of thanksgiving to God upon observation of our faults against God and of Gods favours daily and hourly remarkably running toward us Hence it is when our ordinar time of secret worship doth come we find our vaiging minds hardly called home from their wandering our conscience challenging us for our loose and uncircumspect walking our affections dull and dead and all the powers of our souls taken as with a palsie that we cannot bestir our selves in worship as we should and would Therefore in this case let the convert be humbled and confesse his fault and take with this chastisement and â—â—ye unto Christ who heareth and taketh away the iniquity of our pollution of holy things and let him nor defer his worship till another occasion but wrestle against all impediments and follow out the work in hand blessing God for his pointing out unto him his wants and weaknesse his wandering and vanity of mind his slipping and sliding in his wayes and for opening unto him a â—ountain in Christ for washing his pollutions and healing his wounds And that the convert may be encouraged to aim at and follow on this way let him consider that the converts worship may be pleasant and acceptable to God when the convert is much displeased with himself in the discharge of it for there is a worshiping of God in faith without sense and feeling of the hearts inlargement and there is a worshiping of God with felt enlargement of heart The worshiping of God in faith is pleasant unto God albeit the worshiper in perplexity and wrestling with temptations and corruptions be much displeased with himself The worshiping of God with inlargement of heart is pleasant both unto God and to the worshiper also as Ps. 119. 32. David gives us to understand I will run the way of thy Commandments saith he when thou shalt enlarge my heart But when this inlargement by sensible assistance of the holy Ghost is not perceived the Psalmist is but a dead man in his own estimation yet he doth not forbear or delay to worship God as well in bonds as in freedom Quicken me saith he according to thy loving kindnesse Therefore let the convert in this case 1. follow the example of the Psalmist who Ps. 5. 3. resolveth to call on God with his voice that is to follow the work of prayer externally pre-suppose his spiritual powers were bound up and he unable to back his peâ—itions with suteable affections My voice saith he shalt thou hear in the morning O Lord in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee and will look up And Ps. 27. 7. Hear me when I cry with my voice have mercy also upon me and answer me 2. For his incouragement in this case to go on in his worship let him confesse unto God the truth as it is presenâ—ed unto him by his conscience and say O Lord my God these are my sins which I ought to acknowledge before thee with tears which for the present are dryed up c. These are thy favours and benefits wherewith I am loadenâ—d which I should acknowledge with joy and sense of thy goodnesse c. but thou Lord delights in truth in the inward parts Ps. 51. 8. This will be found our reasonable service which the Apostle calleth for Rom. 12. 1 2. The eight question is how to satisfie the convert doubting what is the sin which God pursueth by long-lasting affliction IT falleth forth oft-times when a true convert being a long time pressed under some lasting crosse or calamity doth inquire after the special causes of his affliction and when he cannot be clear what to determine doth doubt what to think of his condition for he acknowledgeth his sins common to him and other converts to be innummerable but apprehendeth that it is some special sin pursued by God which is the cause of his affliction which because he cannot condescend upon he is at a stand and doubteth what to think or do 2. For answer we say 1. such a case is more troublesom then dangerous for so long as he is observing his sins common to him and other converts and in the exercise of repentance is daily humbled before God for his known sins he must not be anxious albeit he know not the particular sin pursued as he apprehendeth for albeit the Lord afflict no man but such as have sin in them yet he doth not alwayes in afflicting of his children pursue unknown sin in them For sometime he afflicteth his child to preveen his sinning hedging up his way with thornes lest he should follow after beloved lusts Sometime he doth afflict him to try his faith to teach him patience meeknesse temperance and other virtues such as are dying to the world seeking after things spiritual compassion toward others in affliction 2. When the afflicted hath composed his mind to reverence Gods dispensation whatsoever it is or shall be then let him yet again look upon his affliction and it may be he shall read in the rod what is the Lords quarrel 3. Whether he shall find the special cause of his affliction or not let him turn all his indignation zeal and hatred against the body of death the bitter root and bulk of actual sins and watch diligently over the motions of original sin or concupiscence in himself 4. And let his whole exercise stir him up to have Christ in greater estimation to make use of Christs righteousnesse imputed to believers and
to prove a man to be regenerat but he must be proven also a true believer in Christ a man reconciled to God a man justified and an adopted child 2. It is necessary therefore for proving a man to be regenerat to know the right description of the regenerat man which is given by the Apostle Phil. 3. 3. We are the circumcision which worship God in the spirit and rejoyce in Iesus Christ and have no confidence in the flesh Wherein the Apostle holdeth forth the truly regenerat circumcised in heart 1. He is not sinlesse but so sensible of his sinfulnesse as he hath no confidence in himself nor any thing else in himself 2. He is not free of accusations or tentations and doubts but he flyeth to Christ for righteousnesse 3. He is not an idle and unfruitfull branch but a worshiper of God in spirit and truth 1. He is burdened with sin 2. He cometh to Christ for relief 3. He puts on Christs yoke Math. 11. 28 29. If a man have these three properties joyntly in him he is a regenerae man and may defend his interest in the state of grace and right to righteousnesse and eternall life through Jesus Christ. 3. Divine operations and saving graces which accompany salvation such as are faith repentance unto life hope Christian love to God and men for Gods cause effectual vocation justification reconciliation adoption go together in time by Gods gift but one of them goeth before another in order of nature for effectual calling goeth before faith and faith goeth before hope and before charity or love Again these graces which are given to the redeemed child of God joyntly in respect of time do not shew themselves in their evidence alike soon in time nor do they equally manifest themselves when they do appear in time And so the evidences of repentance may be discerned in not a few converts before faith in Christ do shew it self in them clearly So also love to God and his Saints oft-times may be discerned in a regenerat man before he himself dare affirm any thing of his faith in Christ. 4. Albeit there be many regenerat persons who for the present time cannot perceive in themselves any undoubted signs of their conversion yet it is certain also that there be many who to their own unspeakable comfort are assured of their regeneration and that they are translated from death to life and that they have received the spirit of adoption and earnest of eternal life as is pointed out in the experience of the Ephesians chap. 1. 14. And this is certain also that all who are fled to Christ for refuge should by all means labour to make their calling and election clear and certain to themselves 2 Pet. 1. 10. And to this purpose we are commanded to examine our selves and try whether we be in the faith or not whether Christ by his Spirit be in us or not 2 Cor. 13. 5. for otherwise except a convert know certainly the blessednesse of his own state and that he standeth in grace and favour with God it is not possible for him to give hearty thanks to God for the change of his state from being an enemy to be made a reconciled subject and child of God It is not possible for him to rejoyce in the Lord or set chearfully himself to serve God or comfortably call on God as a father to him in Christ Wherefore all who in the sense of their sins and fear of deserved wrath are fled for refuge unto Christ should deal by prayer earnestly with God that he would graciously grant unto them his Spirit by whose operation in them they may know the saving graces which he hath freely bestowed upon them of which gift of the holy Spirit the Apostle doth speak 1 Cor. 2. 12. 5. The knowledge of a mans own regeneration hath many degrees of clearnesse and assurance by reason of the variety of conditions wherein a man truly converted may be For many doubts may arise in the man regenerat which may darken his sight and hinder the assurance of saving grace granted unto him whereof sundry causes may be found and in special these four among others 1. In a man illuminat and renewed by the holy Spirit there remains a great deal of ignorance much doubting mixed with faith by reason of unskilfulnesse of the convert to examine and discern this blessed change made in him where through that cometh to passe in many young converts which will be seen in infants who have a soul indeed but do not know or perceive that they have a soul till they come to some years of discretion yea many sound Christians are oft-times at a stand about their regeneration and know not what to make of their faith or repentance especially when they feel the power of the body of death the strength of natural corruption in themselves and great indisposition for any spiritual exercise they are forced with the Apostle to cry miserable man that I am who shall deliver me Rom. 7. 24. mean time for weaknesse of their faith they are not able at the first to wrestle against discouragment and to come up unto the Apostles thanking God through Christ. 2. By the tentation of Sathan oft-times the perswasion of holy men is darkened so as they cannot see the evidences of their own regeneration clearly for Sathan sets himself to vex the Saints who are delivered from his kingdom and bonds whom albeit he know that he cannot destroy them yet he will not cease to trouble them that at least he may make them some way unfit for Gods service and marr their cheerfulness in his service and because he feareth harm from them unto his kingdom by their dealing with the unconverted to repent their sins and to turn unto God therefore he finds them work at home in their own bosome and puts them to defend themselves and to forbear to invade his subjects till they be setled themselves 3. Oft-times the Lord is offended by the sins of the regenerat and specially by their grosse transgressions for which his Spirit being grieved doth for a time cease from comforting them and doth not bear witnesse with their spirits that they are the children of God as he hath formerly used to do 4. Oft-times the Lord by suffering doubts to arise in their hearts useth to try and exercise the faith of his children and thereby to stir them up to the pursuing of the duties of piety and righteousnesse more vigorously and sincerely that after victory obtained over these tentations they may be more confirmed in their faith and more diligent in his obedience 6. It may come to passe that while the true convert doth most doubt of his own regeneration that the work of Gods special grace may be observed in him and clearly seen by others more experienced in the wayes of God and indued with the spirit of discretion The reason whereof is because howsoever the weak convert and child of light walking
of eternal life Other some doubting of the soundnesse of their conversion because the â—error of God and fear of condemnation and hell prevailed more with them for changing their course then the love of God and true holinesse did and both the one sort and the other do conceive the chief rise of their change to have been natural or carnal self-love fearing harm and loving life 2. For removing of this doubt we grant that there are many who after some notable delivery from death or some notable benefit received or after some sharp rod of chastisement for their sin have changed their outward way of living left off grosse vices and led a more civil and blamelesse outward life and yet have neither seriously repented them of sin nor seriously fled in unto the grace of Jesus Christ offered in the Gospel neither knowing what saving faith is nor carefull to know it but of such we do not speak here for we are speaking of the true convert and renewed man who in the sense of sin is fled to Christ in the sense of his unworthinesse maketh the grace offered his refuge and in the sense of indigence looketh up to Christ and seeketh supply of him in all things and by the holy Spirit is striving against sin endeavouring in some measure of sincerity to bring forth the fruits of faith and repentance and yet for all this he doubteth of the sincerity of his own conversion for the reasons foresaid To this souldier and wrestler we say as before we said to him that doubteth of his conversion because he cannot design the time of his conversion it is not material by what way or means or motives a man is brought unto Christ provided he doth come and indeed adhere to Christ it is all one whether the rise of the mans turning from sin to God was love alluring or terror driving him whether a benefit or a sharp rod whether fear or hope did at the first beginning of his change move him to seek God provided God manifested in the flesh Christ Jesus the Redeemer of sinners be now his beloved Lord and precious in his eyes for he that is most sweetly allured to come to God and without much fear is converted who possibly after serious conviction of sin and deserved death is not keeped long at the door of mercy but forthwith is admitted to the throne of grace and tenderly entertained by the Spirit of consolation may fall in hard exercises afterward This is evident in the experience of the Prophet David in whom his brethren living in the same family with him did not perceive any signes of a sorrowfull or heavy heart as his brother Eliab's words do shew 1 Sam. 17. 28. I know thy pride and the naughtiness of thy heart Thus did Eliab judge of David's chearfull carriage whereof also we have some evidence that David was of a ruddy and beautiful countenance and for some years of his youth did passe the time pleasantly serving God with his songs and harp while he was feeding his sheep in the wildernesse now none can justly question his conversion all this time or his sincerity in this service yet afterward he was otherwayes exercised for oft-times he felt the power of the Law upon his spirit and was tossed with the terror thereof and made to mourn and weep heavily Such doth Iob's condition seem to be in his youth as it is described Iob 29. but afterward in the tryal of his faith what a conflict with temptation he had the sacred History doth testifie Therefore there is no reason why any in whom these evidences of a true Israelit are found in any measure should suspect the sincerity of his regeneration because he hath been gently handled in his conversion for it may come to passe that the same person may fall in firy tryals and so hard temptations as he may fall in doubt of his conversion in regard of the sad afflictions inward and outward whereby he is exercised In which case he will be found to be mistaken no lesse then he was mistaken in the former case and condition for some dear children of God may possibly both in their conversion and most part of their life be exercised with the terrors of the Law and yet retain fast hold by faith on Christs grace in their deepest afflictions For instance we offer that precious soul Heman the Ezrait who came near unto Solomon in the point of wisdom 1 King 4 31. and yet how bitter his afflictions of spirit were the 88. Psalm beareth witnesse specially v. 13. 14 15. But unto thee have I cryed O Lord and in the morning shall my prayer prevent thee And why castest thou off my soul why hidest thou thy face from me I am afflicted and ready to die from my youth up while I suffer thy terrors I am distracted c. And therefore there is no just cause that any in whom the evidences of faith and repentance may be found should call the sincerity of his own conversion in question how hardly soever he seem to be handled of God for whosoever is joyned to the Lord Jesus and will neither suffer himself to be driven from him nor yet will endure sin to remain in himself uncontrolled is certainly a true convert As for these who for some temporal cause are come to Christ as many did come in the dayes of his flesh that they might be delivered from some temporal evil or obtain some temporal benefit and for that cause do doubt of their conversion or sincerity thereof they need not dispute much about the occasions of their first seeking after God provided that they have learned what Christs grace is and do seek righteousnesse and salvation in him for we read in the Evangel that sundry that they might be cured of leprosie palsie blindnesse c. came unto Christ who afterward came and adhered to him by faith as the only Redeemer and Saviour of their souls from sin and misery Wherefore in such doubtings let not the afflicted trouble himself nor call his conversion in question but let him give all diligence to strengthen his faith and to increase in holinesse making his calling and election sure by well-doing for if he do this he shall neither be found idle nor unfruitfull in the knowledge of our Lord Iesus as the Apostle promiseth 2 Pet. 1. 8. CHAP. XI Wherein the converts doubt of his being in the state of grace arising from heavy afflictions and grievous tentations is solved SOme true converts sometime fall into great suspicionâ— of their regeneration of their effectual calling and of the love of God unto them and that because they meet with sore outward afflictions and are assaulted also possibly with horrible inward tentations which do befall them unexpectedly and are ready to swallow them up for whereas after divers conflicts in their conversion and peace of conscience following after these sad exercises of mind they hoped to have injoyed Gods peace still after
and for ever but for a short time and that he keepeth love to them constantly albeit he do hide the tokens of his love sometime and dispose of the acts of his love as he seeth sit for the advantage of the work of grace in them Let him put difference between desertion and the gift of discerning of the desertion for albeit desertion be of it self a sad visitation yet the sight and observation of it testifieth Gods presence with his child giving eye-salve and light and thereby doth not only teach that wound to be curable but also that the Physician is begun the cure of it by pancing and lancing the wound 3. Let him not count it a desertion when God in any service whereunto he puts his child emptieth him of all conceit of his own ability that he may open his mouth wyd and be filled for this emptying of the convert is the very fitting of him for fresh supply from Christ to go about the service in Christs strength and furniture which the Apostle felt by experience 2 Cor. 12. 10. When I am weak saith he then I am strong Poverty of spirit and hunger and thrist for righteousnesse are not to be counted desertions 4. Let him observe the degrees of Gods presence no lesse then the degrees of his absence as the Psalmist did when he recollected himself Ps. 73. 23. after the tentation which troubled him was overcome Neverthelesse I am continually with thee Thou holdest me by thy right hand and ver 26. my flesh and my heart faileth but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever 5. Let him put a right construction upon Gods dispensation believing alwayes that God doth what he doth for good to his afflicted subject whether he draw forth by his desertion the latent-corruption of the heart as he did to Ezekiah 2 Chron. 32. 31. or whether to prevent out-breaking of corruption as he did to the Apostle 2 Cor. 12. 7. 8 9. or whether to exercise his faith love and patience and to sharpen his prayer as he did to the Psalmist frequently And therefore let him in the observation of whatsoever degree of desertion humble himself before God flye in more closely unto Christ and patiently wait upon the change of his conditon in the use of the means and following the duties of his calling as the Lord shall enable him for this is the counsell of the Lord Isa. 50. 10. Who is he among you that feareth the Lord that obeyeth the voice of his servont that walketh in darknesse and hath no light let him trust in the name of the Lord and stay upon his God And this much sufficeth for instances of the third sort of the converts mistaking his condition CHAP. XXVIII Concerning cases wherein the convert is in doubt what to determine about his condition IT resteth that we speak of the fourth sort of cases of the conscience of the convert wherein he is at a stand and in doubt what to determine of his present condition 2. In these doubtfull cases the convert is not properly deceived as in the former ranks of cases it is presupposed of him because in this sort of cases the convert doth not positively determine the question wherein he is fallen but standeth in doubt what to resolve upon 3. Cases of this sort pertain to the mind and judgement of the convert and if his judgment be cleared by loosing of the question incontinent he is satisfied and quiet 4. It is necessar for the converts clearing that he form the question rightly and to this end 1. let him consider his case and condition in himself so accuratly as he can 2. Let him ingenuously lay forth the question or doubt he hath before his Pastor or Christian friend acquainted with cases of conscience and ask their judgement what to think of or what to do in such a case The reason why he must examine narrowly his own condition before he speak of it to another is partly because otherwayes his doubt or question may prove frivolous and unworthy of an answer partly because the convert after examination of his case and prayer unto God may find satisfaction to his doubt and partly because if his doubt remain the question may be the more clearly propounded and so receive the more clear and speedy answer for his satisfaction 5. Of this sort of questions we shall propound some examples and give some resolution unto them whereof use may be made when such like questions shall occur The first question shall be concerning confusion of mind IT cometh to passe sometime when a convert is upon examination of his own estate or condition that such a mist and darknesse falleth on his mind and such a croud and throng of thoughts within him that he can discern nothing but mist multitude of thoughts and darknesse and confusion The question is what shall he think or do for removing of this confusion of thoughts and darknesse of mind Ans. This case befalleth converts frequently and therefore had need to be the more carefully cured Which cure that it may the better go on let the afflicted renew the examination of his former behaviour and see if he can find out the meritorious cause thereof in himself for this case oft-times is the castigation of the afflicted for his former negligence and omission of duties or slight discharge of religious worship yea it may be found possibly that the afflicted hath been so carelesse in keeping his heart in the fear of God that he hath involved himself too far in earthly and thorny affairs or hath exceeded in the use of things lawfull or by some corrupt communication hath grieved the Lords spirit and so hath drawn on some desertion and with-drawing of illumination from him 2. This case may also fall out from some present perturbation of mind and passion whereby his reason is so taken up for the time that it cannot discharge its duty as cometh to passe usually in anger or fear or grief or some such like passion as may be seen when a man is injured by his neighbour or doth meet with some damnage or is put in fear of some imminent evil coming on him or findeth sharp pains of body or some such like cause perplexing him The question is what shall he think of this condition Ans. If the afflicted shall examine how he is fallen in this case and shall in consideration of his weaknesse be humbled before God by prayer he shall not want clearnesse of mind and directions from God what to do and how to behave himself in ordering of his conversation aright Ps. 50. 23. for the Lord gives wisdom liberally to all that ask it of him in faith Iam. 1. 5. and this his present condition giveth him an errand to God The second question is concerning the convert who most part walketh heavily THere are some true converts who after examination of themselves cannot deny but their heart is toward the wayes of God
five qualifications were common operations of the spirit or effects of saving faith not as yet manifested to be such before the person did close covenant with God in Christ for not imputing his sins unto him and making solid reconciliation with him 3. As for judging of others when we observe these qualifications all or some of them we must not determine positively what sort of operation the holy Ghost hath in hand but our part is according to our place and calling to help on the least preparatory qualifications which may serve to be inductive and serviceable to beget and foster saving faith in them even when the sense of sin and unworthinesse is like to drive them from Christ as it did Peter when he cryed out unto Christ Depart from me O Lord for I am a sinfull man For God hath not made us Judges of the operations of the holy Ghost in this or that person but to be their helpers unto faith when we perceive any good qualification in them and helpers of their repentance when we perceive any out-breaking evil in them The eleventh question shall be of the converts doubting what to think of his condition when he finds more freedom of prayer in the presence and audience of others then when he prayeth in secret alone IT is not a case unusual that some converts do find a great deal of freedom of prayer in the audience of others more then alone for they have experience that when they pray in the audience of others in their family or occasionally elsewhere their prayer is more copious then when they are alone their stile of speech more polished their words in better order their expressions more significant their notions more sublime more fervent more zealous then when they are in secret in their closet which difference when they consider they doubt what the matter doth mean 2. For answer first there is a difference to be put between solitary prayer in secret and prayer in society with others for in secret oft-times the converts worship is carried on in the sense of his sinfulnesse unworthiness and indisposition presented to God through Christ with sighs and confused groans without words for he studieth most for affection and not for words having no ear to care for but the ear of the searcher of hearts who knoweth his weaknesse fears tentations and wrestling with doubts But in company he studieth most to make use of knowledge and to expresse himself so as he may carry along the company with whom he prayeth with consent that he may edifie himself and them in worship and in this case he may find greater fredom possibly then he findeth alone in secret Secondly it is oft-times found that God for his own glory and the mutual edification of two or three gathered together in his name doth inlarge the freedom of speech in the speaker Upon which considerations the doubting convert may satisfie himself only let him beware least vain glory or studying to have the applause of such as hear him pray do not blow wind in his sails and in as far as after examination he findeth himself guilty let him when he is in secret alone be humbled before God for it and crave pardon through Christ seeking help and healing of this wicked inclination The twelfth question shall be of the doubt which the convert may have in a case contrary to the former SOme converts do find themselves more inlarged in secret prayer and alone then in the company of one or moe In company saith he I cannot utter my own privat condition without a needlesse and inconvenient discovery of my present case to others and I can hardly conjecture what may be their necessity with whom I pray or condescend upon petitions and thanksgiving fit for us in common I am taken up also with thoughts of what estimation my hearers may have of me c. But in secret prayer I am freed of that care I am not feared that God shall mis-construe my words or thoughts I may in secret make a long pause in my petitions and fall in meditation upon some passage of Scripture and after a while direct my speech unto the Lord I may expresse my affections by voice and gesture as they fall out and pour forth my heart to God with tears without fear of being esteemed an hypocrit c. Mean time I doubt what my indisposition to pray in company doth import when duty calleth for it 2. For answer we grant that God to some of his dear Saints whose prayers in secret he will accept and reward openly hath not given ability to edifie others by way of praying in their audience to others in regard of age of sexe to whom modesty and silence is most suitable he hath not given confidence to pray in name of others whether moe or fewer as their mouth But as for these to whom God hath given ability and a calling by reason of a charge in the family or some occasional exigence to pray in the audience of others and yet notwithstanding they do foster their natural aversenesse from such a duty they had need to examine themselves whether they be hindered by fear to loss some of their estimation at the hands of the hearers if possibly all things should not be found so well digested and expressed in the prayer as they would The thirteenth question shall be of the converts doubting what to think when he compareth his disposition to prayer and Gods dispensation toward him in prayer SUndry converts when they compare their own divers dispositions to prayer with the divers dispensations of God toward them in prayer they are at a stand what to think Sometime saith one albeit I be very hardly drawn to pray at all yet when after wrestling the conscience of the duty doth set me on work my prayer goeth on as I could wish light is furnished to me what to confesse what to thank for what to seek both for my self and others whereby I gather for the time that the Lord is pleased with my person in Christ and hath accepted my prayer Sometime it fareth otherwayes with me for when time place and leisure for prayer concur and I am now about to make use of opportunity and do fall down before the Lord to speak on a suddain I have nothing to say matter words and light do fail me darknesse and confusion falleth on my mind and my prayer suudry times is stopped and closeth with a sigh or groan which dispositions of my heart and dispensations of the Lord when I compare I am in doubt what to think 2. For answer in the first case concerning the Lords blessing of the aiming at duty the matter is clear and speaks for it self for God will have us to aim at a right frame of spirit when we are about the discharge of any part of his worship but not forbear to do the duty if we cannot reach that fitnesse of spirit which we desire let us