Linguistic DNA - Concept Modelling Demonstrator

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
heart_n	work_n	world_n	write_v	408	4	5.0982	4	false

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A60157	Some account of the holy life and death of Mr. Henry Gearing, late citizen of London who departed this life January the 4th. 1693/4. Aged 61. By John Shower. The second edition. With the trial and character of a real Christian, collected out of his papers, for the examination of himself: from which several other particulars are added, for the instruction, encouragement, and imitation of Christians.		1699 (1699)	Wing S3692; ESTC R221466	72,960	188

hope_v i_o desire_v to_o forsake_v all_o my_o sin_n now_o the_o scripture_n say_v 1_o joh._n 1._o 9_o if_o we_o confess_v our_o sin_n he_o be_v faithful_a and_o just_a to_o forgive_v we_o our_o sin_n and_o to_o cleanse_v we_o from_o all_o unrighteousness_n and_o prov._n 28._o 13._o whoso_o confess_v and_o forsake_v his_o sin_n shall_v have_v mercy_n i_o hope_v i_o do_v not_o allow_v myself_o in_o any_o sin_n but_o desire_v power_n against_o it_o as_o well_o as_o pardon_v of_o it_o yea_o the_o sin_n i_o be_o most_o incline_v to_o though_o my_o heart_n be_v often_o apt_a to_o go_v out_o after_o it_o the_o lord_n forgive_v it_o yet_o i_o hope_v it_o be_v my_o earnest_a desire_n that_o i_o may_v have_v strength_n against_o it_o the_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o say_v with_o david_n psal_n 18._o 23._o i_o be_v upright_o before_o he_o and_o keep_v myself_o from_o my_o iniquity_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v from_o my_o soul_n to_o mourn_v for_o heart-sin_n as_o hardness_n and_o deadness_n and_o wander_n and_o distraction_n in_o duty_n etc._n etc._n i_o hope_v this_o be_v a_o good_a sign_n that_o i_o be_o if_o my_o heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o real_o trouble_v for_o secret_a sin_n which_o the_o world_n know_v nothing_o of_o and_o that_o i_o do_v not_o allow_v sinful_a thought_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o mourn_v for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n and_o to_o lay_v to_o heart_n the_o great_a dishonour_v do_v to_o god_n by_o other_o i_o hope_v there_o be_v a_o change_n wrought_v in_o i_o and_o that_o i_o be_o a_o new_a creature_n 2_o cor._n 5._o 17._o if_o i_o be_o a_o new_a creature_n than_o i_o be_o in_o christ_n i_o hope_v so_o because_o there_o be_v such_o strive_n and_o fight_n in_o i_o against_o sin_n such_o struggle_n between_o the_o flesh_n and_o the_o spirit_n there_o be_v certain_o a_o resist_n of_o sin_n if_o my_o heart_n do_v not_o wonderful_o deceive_v i_o now_o mr._n n._n use_v to_o say_v it_o be_v true_a grace_n to_o resist_v sin_n it_o be_v strong_a grace_n to_o conquer_v sin_n i_o consider_v how_o it_o be_v with_o paul_n rom._n 7._o he_o say_v there_o be_v a_o law_n in_o his_o member_n warring_n against_o the_o law_n of_o his_o mind_n and_o the_o evil_a that_o he_o will_v not_o do_v that_o he_o do_v methinks_v it_o be_v so_o with_o i_o sometime_o i_o hope_v this_o strive_v and_o struggle_v be_v a_o sign_n i_o be_o not_o dead_a in_o sin_n and_o trespass_n for_o a_o dead_a man_n strive_v not_o move_v not_o i_o beg_v of_o god_n often_o and_o hearty_o that_o i_o may_v be_v sincere_a and_o upright_a and_o hope_v i_o have_v from_o my_o heart_n many_o time_n pray_v with_o david_n that_o god_n will_v search_v i_o and_o try_v i_o in_o mercy_n and_o find_v out_o if_o there_o be_v any_o way_n of_o wickedness_n in_o i_o if_o there_o be_v any_o sin_n that_o lie_v hide_v in_o my_o soul_n and_o have_v be_v glad_a when_o minister_n have_v come_v to_o examination_n that_o so_o i_o may_v try_v myself_o especial_o in_o my_o young_a year_n when_o i_o hear_v mr._n n._n and_o use_v to_o try_v myself_o by_o character_n that_o he_o lay_v down_o and_o have_v then_o find_v comfort_n and_o great_a hope_n of_o a_o work_n of_o grace_n wrought_v in_o i_o and_o wonder_v how_o those_o that_o hear_v that_o soul-awakening_a minister_n can_v bear_v it_o if_o they_o do_v not_o find_v god_n have_v be_v at_o work_n in_o their_o soul_n i_o do_v remember_v when_o i_o be_v young_a what_o delight_n i_o take_v in_o hear_v that_o good_a man_n and_o have_v be_v as_o it_o be_v in_o a_o corner_n of_o heaven_n i_o have_v often_o have_v my_o heart_n quicken_v warm_v and_o much_o draw_v out_o to_o god_n now_o though_o to_o my_o shame_n i_o may_v write_v it_o i_o have_v abate_v much_o in_o my_o zeal_n and_o love_n to_o god_n and_o his_o way_n since_o i_o have_v have_v more_o to_o do_v with_o the_o world_n and_o a_o family_n to_o provide_v for_o yet_o i_o desire_v to_o remember_v the_o day_n of_o old_a the_o year_n of_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o the_o most_o high_a and_o hope_v i_o may_v take_v comfort_n from_o the_o experience_n i_o have_v have_v former_o remember_v where_o grace_n be_v once_o wrought_v it_o shall_v never_o be_v extinguish_v who_o christ_n love_v once_o he_o love_v to_o the_o end_n and_o that_o god_n never_o repent_v that_o he_o give_v grace_n to_o any_o i_o hope_v though_o by_o my_o sin_n i_o have_v cause_v the_o lord_n much_o to_o depart_v from_o i_o for_o many_o year_n that_o i_o do_v not_o meet_v with_o such_o quicken_a and_o comfort_n in_o duty_n as_o former_o yet_o that_o i_o do_v not_o content_v myself_o in_o this_o condition_n but_o desire_v to_o have_v my_o soul_n follow_v hard_o after_o god_n to_o lament_v after_o he_o and_o do_v i_o hope_v prize_v a_o smile_n from_o he_o and_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n above_o the_o whole_a world_n and_o do_v often_o pray_v with_o david_n psal_n 4._o when_o other_o say_v who_o will_v show_v we_o any_o good_a that_o god_n will_v lift_v up_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n upon_o i_o and_o i_o desire_v with_o the_o spouse_n to_o seek_v he_o who_o i_o hope_v i_o may_v say_v at_o least_o my_o soul_n desire_v to_o love_v i_o hope_v it_o be_v a_o good_a sign_n that_o i_o have_v frequent_a thought_n of_o god_n and_o do_v often_o lift_v up_o my_o heart_n to_o he_o as_o when_o i_o lie_v down_o at_o night_n and_o awake_v in_o the_o morning_n i_o desire_v my_o first_o and_o last_o thought_n may_v be_v with_o god_n i_o hope_v i_o may_v say_v with_o david_n i_o desire_v to_o set_v the_o lord_n always_o before_o i_o psal_n 16._o 8._o i_o hope_v i_o be_o desirous_a and_o willing_a to_o yield_v obedience_n to_o all_o the_o commandment_n of_o god_n and_o not_o to_o pick_v and_o choose_v i_o hope_v i_o will_v not_o allow_v myself_o in_o the_o omission_n of_o any_o duty_n now_o christ_n say_v you_o be_v my_o disciple_n if_o you_o do_v whatsoever_o i_o command_v you_o joh._n 15._o 14._o i_o hope_v i_o have_v from_o my_o heart_n pray_v many_o time_n that_o god_n will_v make_v know_v to_o i_o how_o i_o shall_v walk_v to_o please_v he_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v patient_o to_o continue_v in_o well-doing_n and_o to_o wait_v upon_o god_n though_o i_o do_v not_o meet_v with_o he_o now_o there_o be_v a_o promise_n of_o blessedness_n to_o they_o that_o wait_v for_o he_o isa_n 30._o 18._o and_o the_o promise_n be_v rom._n 2._o 7._o to_o they_o who_o by_o patient_a continuance_n in_o well-doing_n seek_v for_o glory_n and_o honour_n and_o immortality_n that_o god_n will_v give_v eternal_a life_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v my_o will_n may_v be_v according_a to_o god_n will_n and_o will_v do_v better_a than_o i_o do_v now_o if_o i_o be_o but_o real_o willing_a though_o i_o have_v many_o fail_n and_o fall_v infinite_o short_a yet_o it_o be_v say_v 2_o cor._n 8._o 12._o where_o there_o be_v a_o willing_a mind_n it_o be_v accept_v according_a to_o what_o a_o man_n have_v and_o not_o according_a to_o what_o he_o have_v not_o and_o our_o saviour_n speak_v gracious_o to_o his_o disciple_n when_o he_o find_v they_o asleep_o mat._n 26._o 41._o the_o spirit_n true_o be_v willing_a but_o the_o flesh_n be_v weak_a i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v merciful_a to_o they_o who_o be_v in_o misery_n and_o have_v sometime_o be_v glad_a of_o a_o opportunity_n though_o the_o lord_n forgive_v too_o backward_o at_o other_o time_n now_o our_o lord_n say_v bless_a be_v the_o merciful_a for_o they_o shall_v obtain_v mercy_n mat._n 5._o 7._o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o cleanse_v myself_o from_o all_o filthiness_n of_o flesh_n and_o spirit_n to_o have_v my_o heart_n purify_v now_o it_o be_v say_v bless_a be_v the_o pure_a in_o heart_n for_o they_o shall_v see_v god_n mat._n 5._o 8._o i_o hope_v i_o have_v count_v the_o cost_n what_o it_o may_v cost_v i_o to_o be_v a_o christian_a indeed_o and_o be_o full_o resolve_v in_o the_o strength_n of_o christ_n to_o let_v all_o go_v for_o he_o it_o be_v my_o desire_n and_o earnest_a prayer_n i_o hope_v from_o my_o very_a heart_n that_o if_o god_n call_v i_o to_o it_o i_o may_v be_v enable_v to_o lay_v down_o my_o life_n for_o his_o sake_n now_o christ_n say_v he_o that_o forsake_v house_n or_o brethren_n or_o sister_n or_o father_n or_o mother_n or_o wife_n or_o child_n or_o land_n for_o his_o name_n be_v sake_n shall_v receive_v a_o hundred-fold_n and_o inherit_v everlasting_a life_n mat._n 19_o 29._o and_o he_o that_o lose_v his_o life_n shall_v find_v it_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v if_o i_o be_o call_v to_o it_o to_o

of_o it_o the_o devil_n thanks_o be_v to_o god_n who_o have_v give_v he_o and_o assure_v we_o of_o the_o victory_n through_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n to_o he_o be_v glory_n throughout_o all_o the_o church_n for_o ever_o amen_n the_o character_n and_o trial_n of_o a_o real_a christian_a now_o follow_v out_o of_o his_o own_o paper_n the_o manner_n of_o his_o examine_v his_o heart_n and_o life_n state_n and_o frame_n and_o the_o result_n thereof_o record_v and_o write_v for_o his_o support_n in_o after-difficulty_n some_o may_v be_v excite_v by_o it_o to_o a_o imitation_n and_o other_o find_v encouragement_n by_o what_o relieve_v he_o against_o his_o doubt_n and_o fear_n and_o enable_v he_o to_o persevere_v even_o without_o full_a assurance_n henry_n gearing_n though_o i_o have_v be_v under_o much_o hardness_n and_o deadness_n for_o many_o year_n yet_o i_o think_v good_a for_o my_o encouragement_n here_o to_o record_v god_n goodness_n to_o i_o sometime_o by_o look_v over_o my_o book_n in_o which_o i_o have_v write_v down_o in_o shorthand_n every_o night_n how_o it_o be_v with_o i_o in_o the_o day_n i_o find_v that_o i_o have_v sometime_o be_v quicken_v and_o affect_v in_o prayer_n often_o in_o family-prayer_n at_o night_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n though_o i_o begin_v very_o much_o indispose_v yet_o it_o please_v god_n to_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n in_o earnest_a desire_n and_o i_o have_v have_v some_o melt_n more_a than_o usual_a at_o other_o time_n in_o family-prayer_n at_o night_n i_o have_v be_v more_o than_o ordinary_o affect_v and_o sometime_o under_o the_o word_n preach_v once_o at_o the_o morning_n lecture_n when_o i_o hear_v a_o sermon_n of_o buy_v the_o pearl_n of_o price_n at_o other_o time_n i_o find_v i_o be_v affect_v great_o in_o family_n prayer_n so_o as_o scarce_o to_o be_v able_a to_o speak_v for_o weep_v at_o another_o time_n i_o have_v record_v how_o i_o be_v quicken_v by_o hear_v a_o sermon_n of_o mr._n swinnock_n on_o that_o text_n he_o will_v not_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n at_o several_a other_o time_n have_v have_v lively_a affection_n in_o secret_a prayer_n often_o in_o my_o walk_n to_o clapham_n i_o have_v have_v my_o heart_n draw_v out_o in_o earnest_n fervent_a desire_n after_o god_n once_o repeat_v on_o a_o lord_n day_n evening_n a_o sermon_n on_o that_o text_n behold_v i_o stand_v at_o the_o door_n and_o knock_n and_o whosoever_o open_v to_o i_o i_o will_v come_v in_o and_o sup_v with_o he_o i_o be_v so_o affect_v i_o can_v not_o go_v on_o for_o tear_n but_o be_v fain_o to_o lay_v down_o my_o book_n at_o another_o time_n the_o like_a in_o repeat_v a_o sermon_n of_o the_o redemption_n of_o time_n at_o other_o time_n i_o find_v record_v that_o on_o the_o lord_n day_n i_o go_v to_o family-prayer_n very_o sad_a but_o god_n do_v great_o assist_v i_o and_o my_o soul_n be_v melt_v so_o that_o i_o can_v not_o proceed_v or_o speak_v for_o tear_n at_o other_o time_n in_o prayer_n and_o sometime_o in_o sing_v of_o psalm_n but_o for_o the_o most_o part_n i_o have_v be_v a_o great_a stranger_n to_o joy_n and_o comfort_n ever_o since_o the_o day_n of_o my_o youth_n these_o thing_n i_o write_v march_v 18._o 1689_o be_v remark_n in_o general_a of_o near_o twenty_o year_n past_a as_o to_o what_o i_o have_v write_v in_o this_o little_a book_n it_o be_v first_o in_o shorthand_n and_o never_o intend_v to_o be_v transcribe_v but_o afterward_o i_o consider_v that_o many_o thing_n in_o it_o may_v be_v of_o use_n to_o i_o by_o another_o read_n of_o it_o if_o it_o shall_v please_v god_n to_o lay_v his_o hand_n upon_o i_o that_o i_o can_v not_o myself_o read_v my_o shorthand_n and_o i_o know_v not_o but_o something_o in_o it_o may_v be_v useful_a to_o other_o i_o hope_v and_o pray_v it_o may_v be_v so_o unto_o many_o if_o the_o like_a serious_a spirit_n accompany_v every_o reader_n in_o the_o perusal_n of_o the_o follow_a paper_n as_o he_o have_v in_o write_v they_o beg_v it_o of_o god_n and_o then_o begin_v to_o read_v anno_fw-la 1676_o march_v 28._o have_v have_v in_o my_o thought_n sometime_o to_o keep_v a_o secret_a â—ast_n in_o my_o closet_n chief_o to_o search_v and_o try_v the_o state_n of_o my_o soul_n this_o day_n i_o do_v it_o and_o hope_v i_o do_v set_v about_o it_o in_o the_o integrity_n of_o my_o heart_n my_o chief_a design_n be_v to_o examine_v how_o the_o case_n stand_v between_o god_n and_o my_o soul_n whether_o i_o have_v indeed_o a_o work_n of_o save_a grace_n wrought_v in_o i_o and_o that_o i_o may_v get_v corruption_n that_o be_v strong_a more_o mortify_v especial_o the_o sin_n i_o most_o incline_v unto_o and_o that_o i_o may_v be_v enable_v from_o god_n to_o carry_v it_o better_o in_o my_o christian_a course_n both_o in_o my_o family_n and_o in_o secret_a retirement_n to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n after_o prayer_n that_o god_n will_v help_v i_o to_o try_v myself_o i_o go_v to_o the_o work_n of_o self-examination_n by_o the_o character_n that_o mr._n ambrose_n have_v give_v and_o by_o some_o character_n my_o cousin_n calamy_n lay_v down_o and_o other_o of_o mr._n allen_n mr._n nalion_n and_o mr._n swinnock_n i_o spend_v a_o good_a deal_n of_o time_n herein_o and_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o deal_v impartial_o with_o myself_o and_o do_v beg_v of_o god_n hearty_o that_o i_o may_v make_v a_o right_a judgement_n of_o myself_o i_o endeavour_v to_o keep_v my_o heart_n close_o to_o the_o work_n and_o though_o i_o can_v not_o meet_v with_o great_a comfort_n yet_o upon_o serious_a search_n i_o can_v find_v but_o that_o god_n have_v wrought_v true_a grace_n in_o i_o bless_a be_v his_o name_n i_o hope_v i_o may_v have_v recourse_n to_o this_o day_n while_o i_o live_v for_o support_n in_o any_o case_n i_o do_v also_o read_v over_o the_o covenant_n i_o enter_v into_o with_o the_o lord_n about_o nine_o year_n since_o and_o renew_v my_o covenant_n and_o give_v up_o myself_o afresh_o to_o the_o lord_n and_o take_v he_o for_o my_o god_n and_o portion_n i_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n that_o i_o be_v sincere_a and_o upright_a i_o find_v some_o ease_n and_o quiet_v in_o my_o mind_n afterward_o o_o that_o i_o may_v not_o now_o grow_v careless_a but_o live_v answerable_o and_o remember_v i_o have_v renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o the_o lord_n and_o if_o he_o have_v in_o any_o wise_a speak_v peace_n to_o my_o soul_n let_v i_o not_o again_o return_v to_o folly_n for_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n sake_n an._n 1676_o july_n 27._o look_v over_o my_o book_n where_o i_o enter_v at_o night_n how_o it_o be_v with_o i_o every_o day_n i_o find_v i_o have_v be_v out_o of_o order_n many_o time_n in_o duty_n since_o the_o trial_n of_o myself_o mention_v here_o but_o hope_v i_o do_v desire_v to_o have_v my_o heart_n with_o god_n and_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v sometime_o in_o duty_n to_o draw_v out_o my_o soul_n in_o earnest_n and_o hearty_a desire_n after_o he_o my_o heart_n through_o mercy_n have_v be_v sometime_o though_o too_o seldom_o in_o a_o good_a frame_n the_o lord_n have_v mercy_n on_o i_o and_o grant_v i_o may_v be_v sincere_a and_o upright_a with_o he_o he_o be_v please_v still_o as_o for_o many_o year_n past_a to_o withdraw_v from_o i_o and_o i_o do_v not_o meet_v with_o much_o comfort_n in_o his_o ordinance_n but_o i_o remember_v what_o mr._n n._n use_v to_o say_v that_o grace_n be_v better_a than_o comfort_n god_n grant_v that_o i_o may_v make_v sure_a of_o grace_n and_o act_n and_o exercise_v grace_n and_o wait_v upon_o he_o for_o comfort_n it_o be_v worth_a wait_a for_o all_o the_o day_n of_o my_o life_n the_o lord_n help_v i_o though_o i_o sit_v in_o darkness_n and_o see_v no_o light_n to_o trust_v in_o the_o lord_n and_o stay_v myself_o on_o my_o god_n the_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o keep_v up_o faith_n and_o hope_n in_o he_o through_o christ_n to_o wait_v and_o trust_v and_o hope_v and_o believe_v still_o against_o hope_n of_o sense_n to_o believe_v in_o hope_n of_o a_o promise_n the_o lord_n make_v i_o careful_a to_o mind_v his_o glory_n and_o do_v my_o duty_n in_o the_o place_n in_o which_o he_o have_v set_v i_o for_o i_o be_o apt_a to_o be_v trouble_v lest_o i_o shall_v fail_v of_o my_o duty_n towards_o those_o commit_v to_o my_o charge_n the_o lord_n in_o mercy_n grant_v i_o may_v set_v to_o his_o work_n with_o all_o my_o may_v and_o get_v my_o work_n do_v before_o my_o day_n of_o life_n be_v end_v and_o that_o my_o heart_n may_v be_v thorough_o take_v off_o from_o this_o world_n and_o i_o may_v prepare_v for_o public_a calamity_n which_o be_v much_o fear_v by_o reason_n of_o the_o

a_o title_n to_o heaven_n or_o that_o we_o have_v not_o but_o pass_v not_o this_o sentence_n with_o self-flattery_n nor_o from_o melancholy_a terror_n and_o fear_n one_a not_o with_o self-flattery_n alas_o what_o will_v it_o profit_v we_o to_o think_v ourselves_o the_o child_n of_o god_n when_o we_o visible_o express_v the_o power_n of_o sin_n and_o satan_n in_o our_o life_n two_o on_o the_o other_o side_n pass_v not_o this_o sentence_n from_o melancholy_a unbelief_n terror_n and_o fear_n as_o the_o carnal_a man_n fail_v the_o former_a way_n so_o the_o tempt_a christian_n sometime_o fail_v this_o way_n in_o this_o case_n run_v we_o over_o our_o evidence_n again_o and_o again_o and_o proceed_v we_o from_o those_o that_o be_v more_o difficult_a to_o those_o that_o be_v more_o easy_a one_o sign_n perhaps_o may_v be_v more_o easy_o perceive_v than_o another_o and_o if_o we_o can_v but_o discover_v some_o yea_o if_o but_o one_o we_o may_v assure_o gather_v all_o the_o rest_n be_v there_o come_v then_o pass_v on_o now_o to_o sentence_n o_o but_o implore_v the_o spirit_n be_v assistance_n now_o if_o ever_o let_v we_o desire_v he_o to_o shine_v on_o our_o grace_n and_o then_o speak_v ground_o and_o deliberate_o and_o true_o as_o we_o find_v according_a to_o our_o very_a conscience_n do_v not_o conclude_v as_o some_o do_v i_o be_o a_o good_a christian_a or_o as_o other_o do_v i_o be_o a_o reprobate_n or_o a_o hypocrite_n and_o shall_v be_v damn_v when_o we_o have_v no_o ground_n for_o what_o we_o say_v but_o our_o own_o fancy_n or_o hope_n or_o fear_n let_v not_o our_o judgement_n be_v any_o way_n biased_a or_o bribe_v from_o sentence_v aright_o then_o he_o further_o advise_v that_o we_o shall_v labour_v to_o get_v our_o heart_n kind_o affect_v with_o its_o discover_a condition_n according_a to_o the_o sentence_n pass_v on_o it_o do_v not_o think_v enough_o to_o know_v but_o labour_v to_o feel_v what_o god_n have_v make_v we_o to_o see_v if_o we_o find_v ourselves_o renew_v and_o sanctify_v indeed_o o_o let_v we_o get_v this_o warm_a and_o close_o to_o our_o heart_n bethink_v ourselves_o what_o a_o bless_a estate_n have_v the_o lord_n bring_v we_o into_o to_o be_v his_o child_n his_o friend_n to_o be_v pardon_v justify_v and_o entitle_v to_o life_n why_o what_o be_v it_o we_o now_o need_v to_o fear_v but_o sin_v against_o he_o come_v war_n or_o plague_n or_o sickness_n or_o death_n we_o be_v sure_o they_o can_v but_o thrust_v we_o into_o heaven_n thus_o let_v we_o follow_v these_o meditation_n till_o they_o have_v leave_v their_o impression_n on_o our_o heart_n then_o he_o advise_v to_o record_v this_o sentence_n so_o pass_v to_o write_v it_o down_o which_o now_o i_o desire_v to_o do_v this_o 18_o of_o august_n 1676._o have_v search_v and_o try_v my_o heart_n yesterday_o and_o at_o this_o time_n also_o after_o i_o hope_v earneft_v and_o hearty_a prayer_n to_o god_n for_o the_o help_n of_o his_o spirit_n to_o try_v my_o state_n and_o condition_n i_o do_v fall_v again_o to_o the_o work_n of_o self-trial_n by_o the_o forementioned_a particular_n and_o though_o i_o can_v full_o declare_v a_o positive_a answer_n to_o every_o question_n yet_o if_o my_o heart_n do_v not_o very_o much_o deceive_v i_o i_o can_v to_o most_o of_o they_o i_o hope_v i_o can_v i_o beg_v of_o god_n i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v it_o be_v some_o comfort_n to_o i_o where_o i_o can_v so_o full_o answer_v some_o of_o they_o i_o hope_v i_o can_v true_o say_v i_o most_o hearty_o desire_v it_o may_v be_v so_o with_o i_o and_o though_o grace_n be_v very_o weak_a in_o i_o which_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v humble_v and_o mourn_v for_o yet_o i_o dare_v not_o deny_v god_n work_n in_o i_o i_o must_v not_o deny_v the_o day_n of_o small-thing_n but_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n must_v own_v sure_o there_o be_v something_o of_o good_a wrought_v in_o i_o by_o his_o holy_a spirit_n and_o my_o comfort_n be_v christ_n will_v not_o quench_v the_o smoke_a flax_n nor_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n mat._n 12._o 20._o i_o be_o not_o now_o affect_v with_o the_o discovery_n of_o my_o condition_n as_o i_o shall_v and_o do_v not_o find_v at_o present_a inward_a comfort_n in_o my_o soul_n i_o be_o and_o have_v be_v much_o under_o the_o withdrawing_n of_o god_n for_o a_o time_n by_o reason_n of_o my_o apostasy_n and_o backslide_n from_o he_o and_o not_o walk_v close_o with_o he_o yet_o i_o desire_v i_o hope_v to_o lament_v after_o the_o lord_n and_o not_o content_v myself_o till_o i_o again_o meet_v with_o he_o the_o lord_n give_v i_o grace_n to_o wait_v on_o he_o in_o a_o way_n of_o duty_n and_o to_o act_v grace_n though_o i_o want_v comfort_n o_o if_o i_o be_o but_o sincere_a and_o wait_v still_o upon_o god_n who_o can_v tell_v but_o he_o may_v return_v with_o comfort_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n the_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o maintain_v faith_n and_o hop_v through_o christ_n though_o i_o sit_v in_o darkness_n and_o see_v no_o light_n yet_o to_o trust_v in_o the_o lord_n and_o stay_v myself_o on_o my_o god_n isa_n 50._o 10._o the_o lord_n help_v i_o now_o to_o walk_v answerable_a to_o the_o great_a thing_n he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o poor_a soul_n i_o desire_v and_o hope_v i_o may_v have_v recourse_n to_o this_o hereafter_o as_o i_o shall_v have_v need_n and_o that_o it_o may_v be_v of_o comfort_n to_o i_o for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v as_o mr._n ambrose_n advise_v his_o word_n be_v this_o record_n will_v be_v very_o useful_a to_o we_o hereafter_o if_o we_o find_v we_o have_v a_o work_n of_o grace_n in_o we_o what_o a_o help_n will_v it_o be_v against_o the_o next_o temptation_n to_o doubt_v and_o fear_n to_o go_v and_o read_v under_o our_o hand_n this_o record_n may_v we_o not_o think_v if_o at_o such_o a_o time_n i_o find_v the_o truth_n of_o grace_n be_v it_o not_o likely_a to_o be_v now_o the_o same_o and_o these_o doubt_n to_o come_v from_o the_o enemy_n of_o my_o peace_n yet_o trust_v not_o so_o to_o one_o discovery_n as_o to_o try_v no_o more_o especial_o if_o we_o have_v make_v any_o soul_n defection_n from_o christ_n and_o play_v the_o backslider_n see_v then_o that_o we_o renew_v the_o search_n again_o neither_o let_v this_o hinder_v we_o in_o the_o daily_a search_n of_o our_o way_n or_o of_o our_o increase_n in_o grace_n and_o fellowship_n with_o christ_n it_o be_v a_o ill_a sign_n and_o a_o desperate_a vile_a sin_n for_o a_o man_n when_o he_o think_v he_o have_v find_v himself_o gracious_a and_o in_o a_o happy_a state_n to_o let_v down_o his_o watch_n and_o grow_v negligent_a of_o his_o heart_n and_o way_n and_o scarce_o look_v after_o they_o any_o more_o neither_o shall_v we_o give_v over_o in_o discouragement_n if_o we_o can_v at_o once_o or_o twice_o or_o ten_o time_n try_v discover_v our_o case_n but_o follow_v it_o on_o till_o we_o have_v discover_v it_o if_o one_o hour_n or_o day_n will_v not_o do_v take_v another_o if_o one_o minister_n can_v direct_v we_o sufficient_o go_v to_o another_o the_o issue_n will_v answer_v all_o our_o pain_n there_o be_v no_o sit_v down_o discourage_v in_o a_o work_n that_o must_v be_v do_v if_o we_o have_v be_v hypocrite_n or_o ungodly_a person_n all_o our_o life_n yet_o be_v the_o promise_v offer_v to_o we_o by_o christ_n and_o he_o tender_v himself_o to_o we_o to_o be_v our_o lord_n and_o saviour_n neither_o can_v we_o possible_o be_v so_o willing_a to_o accept_v he_o as_o he_o be_v to_o accept_v we_o nothing_o but_o our_o own_o unwillingness_n can_v keep_v our_o soul_n from_o christ_n though_o we_o have_v hitherto_o abuse_v he_o and_o dissemble_v with_o he_o o_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v persuade_v we_o to_o the_o close_a performance_n of_o this_o self-trying_a task_n that_o we_o may_v not_o tremble_v with_o horror_n of_o soul_n when_o the_o judge_n of_o all_o the_o world_n shall_v try_v we_o but_o have_v our_o evidence_n so_o ready_a at_o hand_n and_o be_v so_o able_a to_o prove_v our_o title_n to_o heaven_n that_o the_o thought_n and_o approach_v of_o death_n and_o judgement_n may_v revive_v our_o spirit_n and_o fill_v we_o with_o joy_n and_o not_o apale_fw-la we_o and_o fill_v we_o with_o amazement_n september_n the_o 19_o 1676._o find_v my_o heart_n very_o hard_a and_o dead_a of_o late_a and_o be_v still_o under_o the_o withdrawing_n of_o god_n but_o i_o bless_v god_n i_o hope_v sensible_a of_o it_o and_o desirous_a to_o wait_v upon_o he_o for_o discovery_n of_o his_o love_n and_o favour_n and_o to_o lament_v after_o he_o and_o seek_v he_o in_o his_o ordinance_n for_o i_o hope_v i_o can_v take_v up_o with_o duty_n without_o something_o

sin_n especial_o of_o lie_v and_o steal_v and_o play_v upon_o the_o sabbath-day_n i_o delight_v to_o read_v the_o word_n of_o god_n and_o good_a book_n to_o other_o but_o i_o do_v not_o apply_v it_o to_o myself_o as_o when_o i_o read_v that_o scripture_n that_o except_o we_o repent_v we_o shall_v all_o perish_v except_o we_o be_v bear_v again_o we_o can_v see_v the_o kingdom_n of_o god_n that_o the_o wicked_a shall_v be_v turn_v into_o hell_n etc._n etc._n i_o think_v these_o do_v not_o concern_v i_o because_o i_o be_v guilty_a of_o no_o gross_a sin_n i_o reckon_v my_o condition_n be_v good_a and_o i_o be_v ready_a to_o pity_v other_o but_o i_o be_v not_o sensible_a of_o the_o corruption_n and_o defilement_n of_o my_o nature_n i_o do_v not_o see_v the_o need_n of_o a_o change_n i_o be_v not_o sensible_a of_o my_o undo_a condition_n without_o christ_n i_o see_v not_o his_o excellency_n nor_o have_v any_o desire_n after_o he_o i_o know_v not_o upon_o what_o term_n i_o must_v take_v he_o if_o i_o will_v be_v save_v as_o to_o the_o outward_a duty_n of_o religion_n i_o live_v in_o the_o performance_n of_o many_o of_o they_o but_o as_o for_o the_o more_o inward_a and_o spiritual_a duty_n of_o christianity_n such_o as_o self-examination_n meditation_n self-denial_n mourn_v for_o sin_n and_o watch_v over_o my_o thought_n word_n and_o action_n strict_a observation_n of_o the_o lord_n day_n etc._n etc._n to_o these_o i_o be_v altogether_o a_o stranger_n thus_o i_o go_v on_o in_o rebellion_n against_o god_n have_v a_o form_n of_o godliness_n but_o deny_v the_o power_n and_o if_o god_n have_v then_o cut_v i_o off_o in_o my_o unregeneracy_n certain_o hellfire_n must_v have_v be_v my_o portion_n he_o may_v have_v swear_v in_o his_o wrath_n that_o i_o shall_v never_o enter_v into_o his_o rest_n o_o the_o wonderful_a patience_n and_o forbearance_n of_o the_o lord_n towards_o such_o a_o sinful_a creature_n it_o be_v a_o miracle_n of_o mercy_n i_o be_o yet_o on_o this_o side_n the_o grave_a and_o hell_n it_o be_v of_o the_o lord_n mercy_n that_o i_o be_o spare_v so_o long_o and_o that_o he_o give_v i_o space_n to_o repent_v that_o he_o shall_v afford_v i_o the_o mean_n of_o grace_n and_o send_v his_o holy_a spirit_n to_o strive_v with_o i_o and_o give_v i_o many_o conviction_n and_o all_o to_o reclaim_v i_o and_o bring_v i_o home_o to_o himself_o and_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o only_o give_v i_o space_n to_o repent_v but_o a_o heart_n to_o repent_v that_o he_o shall_v not_o only_o stand_v wait_v and_o knock_v at_o the_o door_n of_o my_o heart_n so_o many_o year_n call_v on_o i_o to_o repent_v but_o that_o he_o shall_v give_v i_o the_o grace_n of_o repentance_n this_o be_v undeserved_a love_n and_o distinguish_a mercy_n for_o i_o be_v dead_a in_o trespass_n and_o sin_n and_o have_v nothing_o but_o my_o misery_n to_o move_v his_o compassion_n i_o walk_v according_a to_o the_o course_n of_o this_o world_n i_o be_v insensible_a of_o my_o danger_n though_o ready_a to_o drop_v into_o hell_n every_o moment_n and_o i_o shall_v certain_o have_v perish_v have_v not_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o open_v my_o eye_n and_o to_o pluck_v i_o as_o a_o firebrand_n out_o of_o the_o burn_a and_o set_v i_o in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n for_o which_o i_o can_v never_o sufficient_o adore_v and_o praise_v his_o glorious_a grace_n in_o christ_n to_o i_o a_o vile_a sinful_a creature_n great_a be_v his_o mercy_n towards_o i_o for_o he_o have_v deliver_v my_o soul_n from_o the_o low_a hell_n which_o make_v i_o say_v with_o david_n come_v and_o hear_v all_o you_o that_o fear_v the_o lord_n and_o i_o will_v declare_v what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n and_o the_o way_n and_o means_n whereby_o he_o be_v please_v to_o work_v upon_o my_o heart_n the_o manner_n of_o my_o conversion_n which_o i_o hope_n be_v true_a and_o real_a be_v as_o follow_v it_o please_v the_o lord_n by_o a_o sad_a providence_n viz._n the_o sickness_n at_o london_n to_o bring_v my_o uncle_n gearing_n and_o his_o family_n from_o thence_o to_o my_o father_n house_n where_o they_o continue_v about_o half_a a_o year_n my_o uncle_n be_v a_o good_a man_n i_o can_v not_o but_o take_v notice_n of_o his_o strict_a and_o circumspect_a walk_v and_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o it_o and_o i_o begin_v to_o think_v sure_o the_o way_n that_o i_o be_o in_o will_v never_o bring_v i_o to_o heaven_n i_o think_v i_o must_v live_v another_o manner_n of_o life_n if_o ever_o i_o will_v be_v save_v i_o have_v many_o conviction_n but_o there_o i_o stay_v but_o go_v no_o further_o i_o keep_v on_o in_o my_o former_a careless_a course_n when_o it_o please_v god_n to_o put_v a_o stop_n to_o the_o plague_n at_o london_n my_o uncle_n return_v with_o his_o family_n and_o i_o go_v with_o he_o and_o continue_v at_o his_o house_n about_o two_o month_n in_o which_o time_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o follow_v i_o with_o new_a conviction_n partly_o by_o the_o good_a example_n of_o my_o uncle_n partly_o by_o many_o excellent_a sermon_n which_o i_o hear_v when_o i_o be_v there_o so_o that_o i_o begin_v in_o good_a earnest_n to_o look_v after_o the_o salvation_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o to_o say_v with_o the_o gaoler_n what_o must_v i_o do_v to_o be_v save_v i_o begin_v to_o be_v very_o desirous_a to_o hear_v the_o word_n i_o take_v all_o opportunity_n to_o hear_v and_o give_v attention_n to_o what_o be_v preach_v after_o another_o manner_n than_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o do_v and_o labour_v to_o make_v application_n of_o it_o to_o myself_o i_o hear_v mr._n vincent_n preach_v upon_o heb._n 12._o 14._o follow_v holiness_n without_o which_o no_o man_n shall_v see_v the_o lord_n urge_v the_o necessity_n of_o it_o as_o the_o only_a way_n to_o heaven_n i_o be_v much_o affect_v therewith_o and_o begin_v to_o think_v i_o must_v set_v about_o the_o work_n of_o a_o thorough_a repentance_n i_o begin_v to_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o original_a corruption_n and_o that_o i_o have_v be_v guilty_a of_o thousand_o of_o actual_a sin_n those_o which_o before_o i_o count_v small_a i_o now_o look_v upon_o as_o great_a and_o upon_o myself_o by_o reason_n of_o sin_n to_o be_v in_o a_o lamentable_a condition_n i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o get_v out_o of_o this_o sinful_a miserable_a state_n and_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o that_o there_o be_v no_o name_n under_o heaven_n by_o which_o i_o can_v be_v save_v but_o only_o by_o jesus_n christ_n i_o think_v if_o i_o can_v have_v a_o interest_n in_o he_o and_o his_o favour_n i_o shall_v be_v save_v but_o i_o fear_v god_n will_v not_o thus_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o because_o i_o have_v go_v on_o so_o long_o in_o sin_n i_o hear_v a_o excellent_a sermon_n upon_o mat._n 11._o 28._o come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o be_v weary_a and_o heavy_a load_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_v prove_v first_o that_o sin_n be_v a_o burden_n and_o second_o that_o burden_a sinner_n be_v invite_v to_o come_v to_o christ_n and_o then_o that_o 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experience_n of_o sen._n one_o who_o hoary_a head_n in_o the_o way_n of_o righteousness_n be_v a_o crown_n of_o glory_n with_o who_o our_o mr._n gearing_n serve_v his_o apprenticeship_n he_o in_o his_o young_a year_n board_v in_o his_o father_n house_n at_o leachlad_a and_o reckon_v the_o example_n of_o his_o holy_a life_n to_o have_v be_v a_o singular_a blessing_n to_o he_o in_o his_o youth_n his_o pious_a father_n die_v of_o a_o consumption_n when_o this_o son_n be_v about_o the_o age_n of_o thirteen_o as_o do_v his_o uncle_n mr._n simon_n gearing_n his_o father_n be_v elder_a brother_n about_o six_o year_n after_o his_o mother_n mrs._n ann_n gearing_n be_v likewise_o a_o eminent_a christian_a and_o die_v at_o ramsberry_n in_o wiltshire_n january_n the_o 8_o 1669_o and_o be_v there_o bury_v but_o to_o

abound_a of_o all_o sin_n and_o wickedness_n more_o and_o more_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o to_o do_v and_o suffer_v his_o will_n and_o let_v i_o have_v his_o presence_n and_o his_o promise_n make_v good_a not_o to_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v tempt_v above_o what_o he_o will_v enable_v i_o to_o bear_v 1_o cor._n 10._o 13._o and_o that_o i_o may_v ready_o let_v all_o go_v for_o christ_n if_o i_o be_o call_v to_o it_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v be_v make_v meet_a to_o be_v partaker_n of_o the_o inheritance_n of_o the_o saint_n in_o light_n and_o get_v my_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n ready_a which_o through_o the_o assistance_n and_o help_n of_o god_n i_o desire_v to_o go_v about_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v but_o may_v gather_v such_o evidence_n as_o will_v hold_v out_o and_o bear_v i_o up_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o trouble_n and_o trial_n yea_o in_o the_o hour_n of_o death_n and_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n the_o lord_n in_o infinite_a mercy_n sanctify_v to_o i_o the_o death_n of_o other_o god_n have_v of_o late_o take_v away_o many_o of_o my_o neighbour_n acquaintance_n friend_n and_o relation_n minister_n as_o well_o as_o other_o a_o little_a while_n since_o mr._n pledger_n and_o mr._n wells_n in_o one_o day_n o_o that_o all_o may_v be_v sanctify_v and_o especial_o the_o death_n of_o my_o wife_n that_o i_o may_v yet_o make_v such_o use_n of_o that_o providence_n as_o the_o lord_n will_v expect_v and_o be_v ready_a and_o prepare_v for_o my_o own_o departure_n hence_o whensoever_o it_o shall_v please_v my_o dear_a god_n and_o father_n to_o call_v i_o home_o be_v now_o about_o to_o enter_v here_o what_o i_o have_v to_o show_v for_o a_o work_n of_o grace_n in_o my_o heart_n and_o a_o right_n and_o title_n to_o heaven_n i_o desire_v of_o the_o lord_n to_o help_v i_o in_o this_o great_a affair_n that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v but_o that_o what_o i_o here_o enter_v may_v be_v the_o true_a state_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o which_o 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to_o do_v i_o hope_v i_o do_v most_o hearty_o desire_v to_o take_v christ_n on_o his_o own_o term_n as_o king_n priest_n and_o prophet_n in_o all_o his_o office_n and_o be_o willing_a to_o be_v rule_v by_o he_o as_o well_o as_o save_v by_o he_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o rest_v upon_o jesus_n christ_n alone_o for_o salvation_n and_o own_o no_o other_o saviour_n but_o he_o i_o hope_v i_o have_v the_o faith_n of_o reliance_n to_o rest_v and_o centre_n in_o christ_n i_o hope_v i_o can_v with_o all_o my_o soul_n throw_v myself_o upon_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n and_o if_o i_o perish_v to_o perish_v there_o trust_v in_o he_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o perish_v bless_a be_v god_n i_o be_o often_o lift_v up_o my_o heart_n to_o christ_n o_o my_o dear_a jesus_n bless_a jesus_n on_o thou_o on_o thou_o alone_o i_o rest_v when_o i_o be_o in_o fear_n and_o doubt_n and_o trouble_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o say_v with_o the_o church_n in_o the_o lord_n have_v i_o righteousness_n and_o strength_n righteousness_n for_o justification_n and_o strength_n for_o sanctification_n and_o the_o subdue_a of_o sin_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o renounce_v any_o trust_n in_o my_o own_o righteousness_n and_o duty_n and_o whole_o to_o rely_v and_o rest_v upon_o jesus_n christ_n when_o i_o have_v perform_v any_o duty_n i_o desire_v to_o own_o that_o i_o deserve_v hell_n for_o the_o sinful_a imperfection_n of_o it_o yea_o for_o the_o best_a duty_n i_o can_v perform_v and_o to_o have_v my_o trust_n only_o in_o the_o death_n and_o merit_n satisfaction_n and_o intercession_n of_o christ_n though_o spiritual_a pride_n be_v very_o apt_a to_o rise_v in_o i_o yet_o i_o hope_v i_o do_v not_o allow_v it_o the_o lord_n set_v my_o heart_n more_o against_o it_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v with_o the_o apostle_n phil._n 3._o 9_o to_o be_v find_v in_o he_o not_o have_v my_o own_o righteousness_n which_o be_v of_o the_o law_n but_o that_o which_o be_v through_o the_o faith_n of_o christ_n the_o righteousness_n which_o be_v of_o god_n by_o faith_n i_o hope_v christ_n be_v precious_a to_o i_o now_o that_o be_v a_o evidence_n of_o faith_n 1_o pet._n 2._o 7._o to_o you_o that_o believe_v he_o be_v precious_a i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o prize_n christ_n above_o all_o the_o world_n and_o if_o i_o know_v my_o heart_n i_o will_v not_o part_v with_o the_o hope_n i_o have_v by_o christ_n of_o heaven_n for_o ten_o thousand_o world_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o prize_n jesus_n christ_n as_o the_o chief_a of_o ten_o thousand_o altogether_o lovely_a the_o lord_n make_v i_o upright_o in_o this_o matter_n that_o i_o may_v see_v the_o worth_n and_o excellency_n that_o be_v in_o he_o so_o as_o to_o be_v in_o love_n with_o he_o second_o for_o repentance_n if_o i_o have_v that_o grace_n i_o be_o sure_a to_o be_v save_v act_v 3._o 19_o repent_v you_o therefore_o and_o be_v convert_v that_o your_o sin_n may_v be_v blot_v out_o when_o the_o time_n of_o refresh_a shall_v come_v from_o the_o 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miscarriage_n i_o hope_v the_o full_a purpose_n and_o resolution_n of_o my_o heart_n be_v for_o god_n and_o his_o way_n it_o be_v upon_o my_o mind_n what_o i_o have_v further_a to_o note_v that_o may_v be_v a_o evidence_n of_o grace_n i_o hope_v these_o thing_n follow_v which_o it_o please_v god_n to_o bring_v to_o my_o thought_n may_v be_v some_o ground_n to_o believe_v god_n have_v wrought_v saving_o upon_o i_o sure_o i_o do_v confess_v my_o sin_n often_o to_o the_o lord_n in_o secret_a and_o desire_v to_o have_v my_o heart_n penitent_o affect_v with_o they_o and_o

bear_v the_o cross_n as_o well_o as_o receive_v the_o crown_n now_o it_o be_v say_v if_o we_o suffer_v with_o he_o we_o shall_v also_o reign_v with_o he_o 2_o tim._n 2._o 12._o these_o thing_n it_o please_v god_n to_o bring_v to_o my_o mind_n as_o some_o ground_n of_o hope_n that_o my_o state_n be_v good_a i_o enter_v these_o thing_n here_o aug._n 11._o 1676._o now_o my_o intention_n be_v if_o it_o please_v god_n to_o make_v use_n of_o other_o help_n and_o search_v my_o heart_n by_o they_o and_o enter_v they_o down_o here_o that_o i_o may_v have_v resort_n to_o they_o in_o a_o time_n of_o need_n anâ—_n the_o lord_n help_v i_o further_o in_o this_o great_a work_n of_o self-examination_n that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v for_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n sake_n have_v endeavour_v to_o search_v my_o heart_n thorough_o after_o earnest_a prayer_n to_o god_n i_o hope_v i_o find_v the_o evidence_n of_o grace_n in_o i_o that_o mr._n allen_n have_v lay_v down_o which_o be_v these_o 1._o where_o there_o be_v true_a grace_n there_o be_v a_o hearty_a willingness_n to_o part_v with_o every_o sin_n where_o ever_o there_o be_v this_o breach_n make_v between_o sin_n and_o the_o soul_n it_o be_v grace_n that_o have_v make_v it_o when_o sin_n have_v lose_v the_o will_n it_o have_v lose_v the_o man_n when_o christ_n have_v gain_v the_o will_n he_o have_v gain_v the_o man._n give_v i_o thy_o heart_n be_v the_o same_o as_o be_v willing_a to_o be_v i_o reason_n say_v i_o ought_v to_o turn_v conscience_n say_v i_o must_v turn_v and_o yet_o nothing_o may_v follow_v but_o when_o the_o heart_n say_v i_o will_v turn_v to_o god_n than_o the_o work_n be_v do_v reason_n say_v these_o idol_n ought_v not_o to_o stand_v conscience_n say_v these_o lust_n must_v be_v subdue_v but_o when_o the_o will_n say_v to_o they_o get_v you_o hence_o there_o be_v a_o work_n of_o grace_n begin_v this_o willingness_n discover_v itself_o to_o be_v prevail_v first_o when_o a_o man_n be_v true_o willing_a to_o 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gold_n he_o be_v better_a please_v and_o do_v rather_o take_v up_o with_o the_o mean_a and_o most_o afflict_a condition_n in_o a_o way_n of_o holiness_n than_o with_o the_o most_o plentiful_a and_o prosperous_a estate_n in_o a_o way_n of_o sin_n he_o prefer_v the_o poverty_n of_o christ_n before_o the_o riches_n of_o the_o world_n 3._o godly_a man_n and_o worldly_a man_n may_v be_v know_v one_o from_o the_o other_o by_o the_o choice_n they_o make_v for_o themselves_o he_o that_o make_v a_o worldly_a choice_n be_v a_o worldly_a man_n and_o he_o that_o make_v a_o godly_a choice_n be_v a_o godly_a man._n 3._o whosoever_o have_v true_a grace_n do_v actual_o live_v a_o godly_a life_n the_o tree_n be_v best_a know_v by_o its_o fruit_n the_o sincerity_n of_o our_o purpose_n by_o our_o performance_n he_o that_o do_v righteousness_n be_v righteous_a 1_o joh._n 3._o 7._o a_o godly_a man_n make_v godliness_n the_o business_n of_o his_o life_n religion_n be_v a_o christian_n trade_n a_o man_n trade_n be_v his_o constant_a work_n and_o not_o the_o exercise_n of_o now_o and_o then_o a_o day_n or_o two_o godliness_n be_v a_o christian_n be_v daily_a walk_n do_v not_o inquire_v only_o about_o your_o affection_n what_o your_o desire_n be_v or_o what_o your_o joy_n be_v what_o your_o comfort_n be_v or_o what_o your_o peace_n be_v but_o what_o your_o path_n be_v when_o all_o come_v to_o all_o this_o be_v the_o sure_a mark_n he_o that_o have_v righteousness_n be_v righteous_a he_o that_o do_v not_o righteousness_n be_v not_o of_o god_n mr._n sheppard_n in_o his_o sincere_a convert_n lay_v down_o three_o mark_n wherein_o a_o child_n of_o god_n go_v beyond_o a_o hypocrite_n and_o i_o have_v examine_v my_o heart_n hope_v i_o find_v they_o in_o i_o 1._o no_o hypocrite_n or_o unregenerate_a man_n though_o he_o go_v never_o so_o far_o let_v he_o do_v never_o so_o much_o but_o he_o live_v in_o one_o sin_n or_o other_o secret_a or_o open_a little_a or_o great_a now_o i_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n i_o do_v not_o live_v in_o any_o sin_n 2._o no_o hypocrite_n no_o unregenerate_a man_n ever_o come_v to_o be_v poor_a in_o spirit_n and_o to_o be_v carry_v off_o from_o all_o duty_n unto_o christ_n in_o regard_n of_o dependence_n and_o trust_n if_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o they_o to_o forsake_v and_o break_v loose_a for_o ever_o from_o all_o sin_n yet_o here_o they_o stick_v they_o seek_v to_o save_v themselves_o by_o their_o duty_n without_o christ_n now_o if_o my_o heart_n do_v not_o very_o much_o deceive_v i_o i_o desire_v to_o renounce_v all_o thing_n and_o rest_v only_o on_o christ_n 3._o if_o any_o unregenerate_a man_n come_v unto_o christ_n he_o never_o take_v up_o his_o rest_n in_o christ_n only_o but_o he_o will_v have_v christ_n and_o the_o world_n too_o be_v not_o content_a with_o christ_n alone_o but_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v content_a with_o christ_n alone_o and_o to_o say_v as_o the_o martyr_n none_o but_o christ_n none_o but_o christ_n mr._n d._n in_o his_o book_n of_o the_o lord_n supper_n to_o prove_v that_o one_o have_v a_o principle_n of_o spiritual_a life_n and_o be_v not_o dead_a in_o trespass_n and_o sin_n write_v thus_o can_v thou_o groan_v and_o cry_v to_o the_o lord_n for_o a_o interest_n in_o christ_n and_o will_v nothing_o quiet_a and_o still_v thou_o but_o jesus_n christ_n then_o sure_o thou_o do_v live_v all_o the_o creature_n can_v quiet_v thou_o till_o thou_o have_v hope_n that_o christ_n be_v form_v in_o thou_o sure_o i_o find_v this_o sign_n of_o spiritual_a life_n in_o i_o again_o do_v thou_o grow_v it_o may_v be_v thou_o can_v not_o say_v thou_o have_v more_o grace_n but_o

this_o thou_o find_v thou_o have_v more_o desire_n after_o grace_n that_o be_v more_o grace_n be_v thou_o not_o only_o thankful_a for_o a_o little_a grace_n but_o art_n reach_v after_o more_o do_v thou_o grow_v more_o weary_a of_o thy_o sin_n and_o more_o earnest_a after_o christ_n i_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n it_o be_v thus_o with_o i_o that_o i_o be_o more_o weary_a of_o sin_n and_o desire_v more_o grace_n now_o growth_n be_v a_o sign_n of_o life_n again_o put_v this_o question_n to_o thyself_o do_v i_o hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o christ_n this_o be_v a_o evidence_n of_o spiritual_a life_n dead_a man_n do_v not_o hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o christ_n now_o i_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n i_o do_v hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o christ_n and_o nothing_o but_o himself_o will_v content_v i_o again_o ask_v thy_o soul_n do_v i_o love_v god_n and_o christ_n or_o do_v i_o not_o these_o mark_v he_o give_v of_o love_n to_o christ_n lord_n i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o be_o grieve_v at_o thy_o absence_n and_o be_o rejoice_v at_o thy_o presence_n lord_n i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o love_v those_o that_o be_v like_o thou_o o_o my_o lord_n i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o love_v the_o place_n and_o duty_n where_o thou_o be_v wont_a to_o meet_v thy_o people_n and_o warm_v their_o heart_n but_o if_o thou_o be_v not_o there_o i_o can_v take_v up_o content_o with_o they_o lord_n i_o humble_o say_v i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o dare_v not_o deny_v but_o i_o be_o grieve_v when_o thou_o be_v dishonour_v by_o myself_o or_o other_o though_o i_o grieve_v for_o this_o less_o than_o i_o shall_v because_o i_o love_v thou_o less_o than_o i_o ought_v lord_n i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o desire_v to_o have_v a_o heart_n that_o shall_v be_v willing_a to_o part_v with_o all_o for_o thou_o thing_n sinful_a in_o themselves_o at_o all_o time_n and_o thing_n lawful_a when_o thou_o call_v i_o to_o it_o once_o more_o i_o humble_o say_v i_o love_v thou_o for_o i_o will_v have_v a_o heart_n to_o love_n 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3._o 14._o we_o know_v that_o we_o have_v pass_v from_o death_n to_o life_n because_o we_o love_v the_o brethren_n james_n 1._o 12._o there_o be_v a_o crown_n of_o life_n the_o lord_n have_v promise_v to_o they_o that_o love_v he_o but_o above_o all_o observe_v these_o text_n follow_v as_o contain_v the_o special_a gospel-condition_n to_o which_o we_o find_v so_o often_o annex_v the_o promise_n of_o justification_n and_o glorification_n joh._n 3._o 16._o god_n so_o love_v the_o world_n that_o he_o give_v his_o only_a beget_v son_n that_o whosoever_o believe_v in_o he_o shall_v not_o perish_v but_o have_v everlasting_a life_n joh._n 5._o 24._o he_o that_o believe_v have_v everlasting_a life_n and_o shall_v not_o come_v into_o condemnation_n but_o be_v pass_v from_o death_n unto_o life_n joh._n 6._o 40._o and_o this_o be_v the_o will_n of_o he_o that_o send_v i_o that_o every_o one_o that_o see_v the_o son_n and_o believe_v in_o he_o may_v have_v everlasting_a life_n joh._n 20._o 31._o these_o thing_n be_v write_v that_o you_o may_v believe_v that_o jesus_n be_v the_o christ_n the_o son_n of_o god_n and_o that_o believe_v you_o may_v have_v life_n through_o his_o name_n act_n 16._o 31._o believe_v on_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n and_o thou_o shall_v be_v save_v rom._n 10._o 9_o 10._o if_o thou_o shall_v confess_v with_o thy_o mouth_n the_o lord_n jesus_n and_o shall_v believe_v in_o thy_o heart_n that_o god_n have_v raise_v he_o from_o the_o dead_a thou_o shall_v be_v save_v heb._n 10._o 39_o we_o be_v not_o of_o they_o who_o draw_v back_o unto_o perdition_n but_o of_o they_o that_o believe_v to_o the_o save_n of_o the_o soul_n 1_o joh._n 5._o 13._o these_o thing_n have_v i_o write_v unto_o you_o that_o believe_v in_o the_o name_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n that_o you_o may_v know_v that_o you_o have_v eternal_a life_n from_o the_o first_o text_n we_o gather_v the_o scripture_n mark_v of_o universal_a obedience_n from_o the_o second_o sincerity_n from_o the_o 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of_o god_n in_o it_o at_o least_o some_o quickning_n and_o drawing_n out_o of_o my_o heart_n after_o he_o in_o earnest_a desire_n and_o long_n and_o pant_n after_o he_o yet_o i_o be_o apt_a to_o be_v cast_v down_o my_o conscience_n be_v apt_a to_o accuse_v i_o that_o i_o do_v not_o my_o duty_n and_o be_o fearful_a lest_o death_n come_v of_o a_o sudden_a and_o find_v i_o unready_a and_o thereupon_o be_o great_o trouble_v and_o not_o know_v what_o to_o do_v methinks_v i_o will_v not_o be_v want_v in_o my_o duty_n and_o often_o pray_v that_o god_n will_v show_v i_o my_o duty_n and_o help_v i_o to_o do_v it_o yet_o when_o i_o think_v to_o go_v about_o any_o thing_n there_o come_v such_o a_o multitude_n of_o thing_n into_o my_o mind_n to_o do_v this_o and_o to_o do_v the_o other_o and_o all_o can_v be_v do_v together_o that_o i_o be_o sometime_o almost_o discourage_v and_o tempt_v to_o let_v all_o alone_a the_o lord_n in_o infinite_a mercy_n look_v upon_o i_o for_o christ_n sake_n and_o 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ourselves_o 1._o if_o you_o will_v judge_v aright_o of_o your_o faith_n be_v sure_a you_o do_v not_o trust_v to_o your_o own_o heart_n 2._o examine_v your_o heart_n when_o you_o be_v in_o a_o calm_a quiet_a compose_a frame_n 3._o take_v heed_n you_o do_v not_o err_v in_o the_o nature_n of_o faith_n to_o think_v there_o be_v no_o true_a faith_n where_o there_o be_v no_o assurance_n 4._o judge_v not_o of_o your_o faith_n by_o some_o legal_a trouble_n that_o have_v be_v in_o your_o spirit_n as_o a_o forerunner_n of_o faith_n but_o judge_n by_o the_o consequent_n of_o these_o trouble_n whether_o they_o bring_v christ_n and_o your_o soul_n near_o together_o 5._o though_o you_o must_v judge_v your_o faith_n by_o the_o fruit_n of_o it_o yet_o they_o be_v in_o some_o of_o a_o high_a degree_n some_o of_o a_o low_a degree_n joy_n in_o tribulation_n be_v a_o high_a fruit_n of_o faith_n that_o every_o man_n can_v attain_v unto_o let_v not_o a_o man_n say_v i_o have_v no_o faith_n because_o i_o 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come_v to_o the_o water_n be_v thou_o a_o thirsty_a soul_n thou_o be_v he_o that_o be_v invite_v say_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n therefore_o stand_v out_o no_o long_o 4._o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n do_v work_v faith_n by_o bow_v the_o will_n make_v it_o pliable_a to_o come_v and_o taste_v how_o good_a christ_n be_v well_o say_v the_o soul_n i_o be_o resolve_v to_o come_v to_o christ_n though_o i_o know_v not_o how_o i_o shall_v speed_v i_o will_v cast_v my_o soul_n into_o the_o arm_n of_o christ_n and_o if_o i_o sink_v i_o will_v sink_v with_o a_o saviour_n in_o my_o

by_o faith_n 6._o true_a faith_n work_v patience_n not_o only_a patience_n in_o wait_v but_o patience_n in_o suffer_v there_o be_v a_o patience_n in_o wait_v for_o the_o accomplishment_n of_o the_o promise_n faith_n say_v to_o a_o believer_n the_o thing_n thou_o wait_v for_o be_v worth_a thy_o wait_n for_o they_o the_o comfort_n thou_o desire_v the_o crown_n of_o glory_n thou_o expect_v be_v worth_a wait_a for_o again_o faith_n work_v patience_n in_o suffer_v heb._n 10._o 34._o they_o take_v joyful_o the_o spoil_n of_o their_o good_n know_v they_o have_v in_o heaven_n a_o more_o endure_a substance_n heb._n 11._o 36._o 37._o they_o endure_v the_o trial_n of_o cruel_a mock_n of_o scourge_n of_o bond_n and_o imprisonment_n they_o be_v stone_v saw_v asunder_o tempt_v slay_v with_o the_o sword_n they_o wander_v about_o in_o sheepskin_n and_o goatskin_n be_v destitute_a forsake_a torment_v and_o yet_o their_o faith_n in_o jesus_n christ_n carry_v they_o through_o all_o these_o suffering_n faith_n tell_v the_o soul_n the_o suffering_n of_o this_o present_a life_n be_v not_o worthy_a to_o be_v compare_v with_o the_o glory_n that_o shall_v be_v reveal_v 7._o true_a faith_n will_v work_v a_o undaunted_a profession_n of_o christ_n name_n he_o will_v profess_v christ_n open_o when_o call_v to_o it_o the_o disciple_n profess_v christ_n when_o it_o be_v death_n to_o do_v so_o i_o be_o not_o ashamed_a of_o the_o gospel_n of_o christ_n say_v the_o apostle_n i_o esteem_v the_o reproach_n of_o christ_n better_a than_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o world_n and_o the_o cross_n of_o christ_n better_a than_o the_o crown_n of_o the_o world_n i_o esteem_v his_o crown_n of_o thorn_n better_o than_o all_o other_o in_o this_o world_n i_o bear_v about_o i_o the_o mark_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n gal._n 6._o 17._o he_o call_v his_o sorrow_n and_o suffering_n the_o mark_n of_o christ_n i_o esteem_v they_o my_o great_a honour_n god_n forbid_v say_v he_o i_o shall_v glory_v in_o any_o thing_n but_o in_o the_o cross_n of_o jesus_n christ_n thus_o you_o see_v what_o fruit_n faith_n work_v in_o reference_n to_o jesus_n christ_n now_o there_o be_v fruit_n of_o faith_n in_o reference_n to_o ourselves_o as_o these_o follow_v 1._o true_a faith_n work_v abundance_n of_o inward_a peace_n and_o joy_n rom._n 5._o 1._o be_v justify_v by_o faith_n we_o have_v peace_n with_o god_n and_o it_o must_v needs_o be_v so_o because_o that_o faith_n tell_v the_o soul_n the_o bond_n be_v cancel_v that_o sin_n be_v pardon_v the_o burden_n be_v take_v off_o wound_v of_o conscience_n be_v heal_v with_o the_o wound_n of_o christ_n a_o believer_n can_v say_v in_o peace_n will_v i_o lay_v down_o my_o head_n in_o the_o bosom_n of_o christ_n when_o storm_n and_o wave_n arise_v a_o believer_n can_v sit_v in_o his_o ark_n christ_n and_o a_o good_a conscience_n be_v a_o ark_n for_o a_o poor_a soul_n where_o he_o be_v safe_a a_o true_a believer_n have_v always_o the_o ground_n of_o joy_n though_o not_o always_o the_o exercise_n of_o it_o 2._o another_o fruit_n of_o faith_n in_o reference_n to_o ourselves_o be_v boldness_n in_o come_v to_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n we_o have_v boldness_n and_o access_n by_o faith_n in_o christ_n ephes_n 3._o 12._o a_o true_a believer_n can_v pour_v out_o his_o soul_n to_o god_n make_v his_o moan_n to_o his_o father_n it_o be_v his_o comfort_n he_o can_v go_v to_o his_o father_n with_o a_o childlike_a boldness_n and_o confidence_n 3._o another_o fruit_n of_o faith_n be_v contempt_n of_o the_o world_n act_v 4._o they_o sell_v their_o possession_n and_o bring_v the_o money_n and_o lay_v it_o down_o at_o the_o apostle_n foot_n they_o regard_v it_o no_o more_o than_o the_o dirt_n under_o their_o foot_n faith_n have_v a_o eagles_n eye_n it_o see_v thing_n a_o far_o off_o and_o a_o eagles_n wing_n to_o carry_v a_o man_n above_o the_o flattery_n and_o the_o frown_n of_o the_o world_n by_o faith_n moses_n fear_v not_o the_o frown_n of_o the_o king_n heb._n 11._o 27._o faith_n let_v a_o man_n see_v there_o be_v better_a to_o be_v find_v in_o christ_n than_o in_o the_o whole_a world_n he_o that_o can_v find_v a_o world_n in_o christ_n will_v be_v willing_a to_o part_v with_o all_o the_o world_n for_o he_o 4._o true_a faith_n will_v produce_v a_o strong_a desire_n of_o strengthen_v and_o increase_n it_o and_o that_o both_o in_o truth_n and_o growth_n it_o will_v make_v a_o man_n still_o be_v search_v his_o heart_n that_o he_o may_v be_v sure_a he_o have_v the_o truth_n of_o faith_n it_o make_v a_o man_n prize_v a_o soul-searching_a ministry_n that_o may_v plough_v up_o the_o fallow_a ground_n of_o his_o heart_n and_o it_o work_v a_o desire_n of_o growth_n also_o it_o make_v a_o believer_n pray_v lord_n increase_v my_o faith_n whether_o thou_o increase_v my_o trade_n and_o wealth_n or_o no_o however_o lord_n increase_v my_o faith_n after_o i_o have_v write_v these_o thing_n i_o go_v into_o my_o closet_n and_o there_o beg_v of_o god_n his_o help_n and_o assistance_n to_o try_v myself_o by_o these_o character_n and_o then_o spend_v a_o little_a time_n go_v over_o they_o and_o try_v my_o state_n by_o they_o and_o i_o bless_v the_o lord_n i_o now_o can_v but_o say_v to_o his_o glory_n that_o i_o find_v they_o in_o some_o measure_n in_o i_o i_o hope_v that_o those_o i_o can_v not_o so_o positive_o answer_v to_o yet_o i_o can_v in_o the_o desire_n of_o my_o soul_n i_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n i_o be_o not_o deceive_v if_o i_o be_o i_o beseech_v he_o for_o christ_n sake_n to_o undeceive_v i_o and_o let_v i_o know_v how_o it_o be_v with_o i_o but_o methinks_v god_n have_v begin_v some_o good_a work_n in_o i_o and_o wrought_v faith_n in_o my_o poor_a soul_n though_o it_o be_v very_o weak_a the_o lord_n humble_v i_o and_o the_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o bless_v his_o holy_a name_n for_o the_o least_o grace_n and_o earnest_o to_o endeavour_v and_o beg_v of_o he_o the_o increase_n of_o it_o i_o hope_v in_o the_o lord_n i_o may_v have_v recourse_n to_o what_o i_o have_v do_v this_o day_n and_o what_o be_v enter_v before_o in_o a_o time_n of_o doubt_n and_o fear_n in_o a_o hour_n of_o trouble_n under_o god_n withdrawing_n yea_o that_o i_o may_v have_v comfort_n from_o it_o in_o a_o hour_n of_o death_n the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v not_o now_o be_v secure_a and_o careless_a but_o that_o i_o may_v walk_v very_o close_o and_o exact_o before_o he_o to_o his_o praise_n and_o glory_n here_o till_o at_o last_o i_o come_v to_o live_v with_o he_o in_o his_o heavenly_a kingdom_n may_v the_o 9th_o 1678._o i_o spend_v the_o day_n in_o a_o secret_a fast_o one_o end_n among_o other_o i_o propose_v to_o myself_o in_o it_o be_v to_o search_v into_o the_o state_n of_o my_o soul_n again_o also_o that_o i_o may_v be_v enable_v to_o suffer_v for_o christ_n if_o i_o be_o call_v to_o it_o etc._n etc._n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v sincere_a and_o hearty_a i_o try_v myself_o by_o the_o mark_n and_o character_n before_o set_v down_o i_o hope_v i_o can_v say_v upon_o search_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v wrought_v save_v grace_n in_o i_o it_o be_v i_o hope_v my_o hearty_a prayer_n that_o if_o it_o be_v not_o so_o i_o may_v not_o so_o enter_v it_o here_o but_o i_o turst_z the_o lord_n have_v turn_v i_o from_o darkness_n to_o light_n and_o that_o i_o be_o not_o dead_a in_o sin_n and_o trespass_n but_o there_o be_v a_o principle_n of_o life_n in_o i_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v towards_o the_o close_a of_o the_o day_n i_o read_v over_o my_o covenant_n and_o hope_v i_o do_v from_o my_o very_a heart_n desire_v to_o bewail_v the_o breach_n of_o it_o and_o renew_v it_o with_o the_o lord_n which_o i_o do_v i_o hope_v in_o the_o strength_n of_o his_o grace_n desire_v christ_n may_v be_v my_o surety_n be_v much_o afraid_a of_o my_o be_v deceive_v lest_o it_o shall_v be_v with_o i_o as_o heretofore_o i_o hope_v i_o do_v hearty_o take_v the_o lord_n for_o my_o god_n and_o give_v up_o myself_o unto_o he_o and_o bind_v myself_o to_o forsake_v all_o sin_n and_o to_o live_v more_o to_o his_o glory_n according_a to_o the_o covenant_n i_o enter_v into_o with_o the_o lord_n about_o eleven_o year_n since_o take_v out_o of_o mr._n allen_n be_v book_n i_o bless_v god_n i_o be_v assist_v to_o day_n in_o the_o work_n i_o undertake_v the_o lord_n accept_v of_o i_o through_o christ_n and_o let_v not_o this_o day_n be_v lose_v o_o that_o i_o may_v not_o prove_v false_a and_o hypocritical_a with_o he_o but_o go_v away_o enable_v to_o live_v more_o to_o his_o praise_n here_o till_o i_o come_v

to_o be_v for_o ever_o with_o he_o hereafter_o january_n the_o 30_o 1682._o i_o spend_v this_o day_n in_o a_o secret_a fast_o in_o my_o closet_n the_o main_a end_n i_o propose_v to_o myself_o be_v to_o search_v again_o my_o heart_n to_o find_v out_o whether_o there_o be_v a_o work_n of_o grace_n wrought_v in_o i_o or_o no_o also_o that_o i_o may_v get_v corruption_n more_o subdue_v that_o be_v yet_o strong_a in_o i_o and_o that_o i_o may_v be_v enable_v to_o suffer_v for_o christ_n if_o i_o be_o call_v to_o it_o etc._n etc._n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v hearty_a in_o the_o work_n though_o hardness_n and_o deadness_n be_v too_o much_o upon_o i_o the_o lord_n forgive_v i_o hope_v i_o may_v say_v to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n that_o he_o have_v begin_v that_o good_a work_n in_o i_o that_o he_o will_v perfect_v of_o the_o day_n of_o christ_n i_o do_v earnest_o beg_v of_o the_o lord_n that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v and_o hope_v i_o be_o not_o i_o trust_v the_o lord_n have_v pluck_v i_o out_o of_o a_o natural_a estate_n and_o turn_v my_o heart_n from_o sin_n unto_o himself_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v now_o live_v answerable_a to_o the_o great_a thing_n he_o have_v do_v for_o i_o and_o keep_v the_o covenant_n i_o have_v this_o day_n renew_v january_n the_o 30_o 1684._o i_o keep_v as_o a_o fast_a and_o spend_v a_o good_a part_n of_o the_o morning_n in_o secret_a prayer_n after_o family_n duty_n i_o go_v to_o hear_v a_o sermon_n and_o then_o back_o to_o my_o closet_n where_o i_o spend_v the_o rest_n of_o the_o day_n the_o end_v i_o propose_v to_o myself_o be_v that_o god_n will_v help_v i_o against_o worldliness_n and_o distrust_n of_o his_o providence_n for_o i_o have_v be_v much_o trouble_v of_o late_a by_o reason_n of_o many_o loss_n and_o trade_n be_v fall_v almost_o to_o nothing_o and_o quiet_a my_o mind_n and_o enable_v i_o to_o trust_v he_o and_o withal_o direct_v i_o how_o to_o proceed_v as_o to_o earthly_a thing_n have_v some_o thought_n of_o leave_v this_o house_n and_o i_o desire_v also_o to_o be_v fit_v for_o the_o lord_n supper_n and_o that_o i_o may_v have_v strength_n to_o suffer_v whatever_o god_n shall_v call_v i_o to_o and_o in_o reference_n to_o the_o public_a i_o desire_v to_o seek_v god_n for_o mercy_n to_o his_o church_n and_o to_o these_o nation_n i_o begin_v with_o read_v some_o portion_n of_o god_n word_n then_o examine_v myself_o of_o the_o state_n of_o my_o soul_n by_o some_o character_n of_o grace_n in_o this_o book_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v hearty_o the_o help_n of_o god_n and_o earnest_o beg_v i_o may_v give_v a_o right_a judgement_n of_o myself_o and_o be_v afraid_a of_o do_v otherwise_o i_o hope_v i_o may_v say_v to_o god_n glory_n sure_o there_o be_v somewhat_o of_o a_o work_n of_o grace_n that_o he_o have_v gracious_o wrought_v in_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o i_o be_o not_o dead_a in_o trespass_n and_o sin_n bless_a o_o bless_a be_v his_o name_n i_o be_o not_o affect_v as_o i_o ought_v but_o be_o apt_a to_o fear_v still_o know_v my_o heart_n be_v deceitful_a the_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o be_v much_o in_o this_o try_v work_n for_o i_o can_v make_v too_o sure_a of_o my_o salvation_n the_o lord_n remove_v doubt_n and_o fear_n and_o strengthen_v my_o faith_n in_o he_o and_o in_o his_o promise_n after_o self-examination_n i_o spend_v the_o rest_n of_o my_o time_n in_o prayer_n and_o hope_v i_o be_v hearty_a therein_o the_o lord_n hear_v my_o poor_a prayer_n for_o myself_o for_o my_o child_n and_o for_o the_o public_a i_o also_o read_v over_o my_o covenant_n enter_v into_o with_o the_o lord_n many_o year_n since_o and_o i_o renew_v covenant_n with_o god_n the_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o live_v answerable_o and_o that_o sin_n may_v be_v more_o subdue_v and_o grace_n strengthen_v that_o i_o may_v find_v the_o benefit_n of_o this_o day_n while_o i_o live_v and_o be_v fit_v for_o the_o everlasting_a enjoyment_n of_o god_n in_o glory_n february_n the_o 6_o 1685._o i_o keep_v a_o fast_a by_o myself_o the_o main_a thing_n i_o have_v upon_o my_o heart_n be_v the_o low_a estate_n of_o the_o church_n and_o of_o these_o nation_n as_o also_o to_o search_v into_o the_o state_n of_o my_o soul_n to_o get_v my_o heart_n more_o take_v off_o the_o world_n to_o have_v corruption_n mortify_v and_o be_v enable_v to_o suffer_v for_o christ_n if_o call_v to_o it_o and_o never_o to_o forsake_v he_o i_o bless_v god_n i_o have_v his_o assistance_n and_o hope_v i_o be_v hearty_a in_o the_o work_n and_o that_o upon_o trial_n i_o may_v say_v god_n have_v begin_v a_o good_a work_n which_o he_o will_v carry_v on_o and_o perfect_a to_o the_o day_n of_o jesus_n christ_n o_o that_o i_o may_v make_v more_o sure_a of_o christ_n and_o grace_n and_o heaven_n especial_o when_o i_o can_v make_v sure_a of_o nothing_o below_o but_o be_o at_o such_o uncertainty_n as_o to_o all_o outward_a thing_n the_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o live_v in_o some_o measure_n answerable_a to_o his_o great_a mercy_n and_o to_o keep_v the_o covenant_n with_o he_o that_o i_o have_v this_o day_n renew_v thing_n whereby_o a_o man_n may_v examine_v and_o judge_v of_o himself_o 1._o if_o you_o will_v be_v save_v you_o must_v by_o deep_a and_o serious_a repentance_n forsake_v the_o world_n and_o sin_n and_o turn_v to_o god_n in_o christ_n and_o firm_o believe_v in_o he_o 2._o you_o must_v resign_v and_o devote_v yourself_o to_o be_v the_o lord_n 3._o you_o must_v take_v the_o favour_n of_o god_n for_o your_o happiness_n 4._o you_o must_v be_v diligent_a in_o the_o use_n of_o all_o holy_a mean_n and_o duty_n 5._o you_o must_v study_v the_o scripture_n to_o know_v god_n mind_n and_o do_v it_o 6._o the_o whole_a course_n of_o your_o life_n will_v be_v set_v to_o please_v and_o honour_n god_n now_o examine_v whether_o you_o be_v like_a to_o be_v save_v how_o be_v it_o o_o my_o soul_n as_o to_o these_o thing_n do_v i_o go_v in_o the_o broad_a way_n or_o not_o let_v not_o the_o devil_n keep_v you_o from_o this_o self-examination_n if_o he_o can_v prevail_v for_o that_o you_o may_v make_v a_o great_a profession_n and_o do_v many_o thing_n and_o yet_o perish_v for_o ever_o judge_n of_o thyself_o by_o these_o thing_n and_o serious_o inquire_v 1._o whether_o eternal_a salvation_n have_v the_o pre-eminence_n of_o your_o esteem_n and_o choice_n that_o you_o prefer_v it_o before_o all_o worldly_a prosperity_n 2._o be_v the_o obtain_n of_o this_o salvation_n and_o prepare_v for_o it_o the_o great_a business_n of_o your_o life_n 3._o under_o the_o sense_n of_o sin_n do_v you_o give_v up_o yourselves_o to_o christ_n as_o the_o only_a physician_n of_o soul_n to_o heal_v and_o help_v and_o save_v you_o 4._o be_v it_o the_o sincere_a desire_n of_o your_o soul_n that_o you_o may_v be_v save_v from_o sin_n as_o well_o as_o hell_n from_o the_o power_n and_o practice_n of_o sin_n as_o well_o as_o from_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n 5._o what_o be_v the_o matter_n of_o thy_o comfort_n be_v it_o to_o converse_v with_o god_n to_o look_v up_o to_o he_o with_o hope_n of_o his_o acceptance_n do_v the_o light_n of_o god_n countenance_n give_v thou_o more_o joy_n than_o the_o increase_n of_o riches_n can_v thou_o say_v from_o thy_o heart_n thou_o have_v rather_o be_v poor_a and_o despise_v and_o miserable_a in_o this_o world_n with_o god_n favour_n than_o to_o be_v the_o great_a person_n in_o the_o world_n and_o god_n to_o be_v thy_o enemy_n examine_v by_o such_o thing_n as_o these_o o_o let_v i_o be_v in_o earnest_n for_o christ_n and_o grace_n and_o never_o rest_n till_o it_o be_v put_v out_o of_o doubt_n that_o god_n in_o christ_n be_v my_o god_n and_o that_o he_o have_v make_v a_o everlasting_a covenant_n with_o i_o if_o this_o be_v not_o i_o be_o undo_v for_o ever_o but_o this_o i_o must_v obtain_v or_o my_o soul_n shall_v be_v in_o bitterness_n before_o the_o lord_n while_o i_o have_v a_o be_v nothing_o shall_v comfort_v i_o while_o i_o be_o graceless_a and_o without_o christ_n i_o be_o resolve_v for_o he_o his_o grace_n and_o favour_n against_o all_o denial_n if_o god_n will_v not_o let_v i_o see_v the_o good_a of_o his_o choose_a and_o reveal_v his_o christ_n and_o grace_n in_o i_o i_o will_v mourn_v i_o will_v mourn_v while_o i_o live_v if_o god_n will_v not_o comfort_v i_o nothing_o else_o shall_v if_o i_o may_v not_o find_v rest_n and_o peace_n in_o christ_n i_o will_v have_v none_o at_o all_o if_o god_n will_v take_v no_o pleasure_n in_o i_o i_o will_v take_v none_o in_o myself_o my_o tear_n shall_v be_v my_o meat_n continual_o i_o

Selected quad for the lemma: heart_n

Text snippets containing the quad