the rest of the Chapter all those places the Lord often made a stay unto my soul And afterwards the Lord so blessed one means or other unto me insomuch as I was kept from sinking and falling into such horrour as many of the people of God sometimes fell into But yet my fears and doubts were so many as that my comfort never lasted long If the Lord did but hide his face I was troubled No longer could I beleeve then I found new strength given in that the Lord would ever have mercy upon my soul. The sense of Original sin and Actual transgressions in their filthiness and guiltiness caused my fears yet to remain upon my spirit my faith then seemed very small if I had any which I much questioned I durst not then say Lord encrease my faith but I could cry earnestly Lord work faith in me I found much dulness and deadness manifold distractions in duties so that God might justly have withdrawn himself from me for ever yet notwithstanding all my uneven walking with God he was graciously pleased to manifest his mercy unto my soul. When I was stricken with such weaknesses as I apprehended might quickly have ended my life I fell into a great fear At the first finding my heart to sink the Lord was pleased to gâ—ive me so much respite as to pour out my soul before him desiring strength and support from him to keep up my spirit and to make me willing to submit to his dispensations and the Lord graciously answered my prayers in that he removed all my former doubtings and fears all the time of that sickness which was long and so dangerous that neither I nor others expected my life The Lord then cleared up my evidences for Heaven and gave me in so much comfort against the apprehension of death as I never had in all my life before Other like trials of the Lords love I found still when I was in the greatest extremity and stood most in need of help from him insomuch as at such times I have hoped that I should never again have questioned the love of God to my soul But I have found it otherwise by sad experience For when these impressions were worn of I have been ready to call all in question again concerning my poor soul. It made me oft to think of that which was laid to Solomons charge that he forgat the Lord that had appeared to him twice I found it the hardest thing to believe that ever I went about But this wavering condition could not satisfie my soul for the Lord giving me sometimes a glimpse of his love made me long after fuller enjoyments of it so that I was carried out with a restless impatience to beg that the Lord would take away the heart of unbelief from me which did both dishonour him and hinder me from that peace which the Lord was willing that his people should enjoy My heart then being brought unto that frame I was more willing than ever I was before to impart my condition unto some spiritual Friends whom I desired to deal impartially with me acquainting them with the whole condition of my soul how far the Lord had carried me on and at what I stuck and still as new objections did arise I laboured to get satisfaction Being convinced that I had too much prejudiced my self in that I had not sooner made my condition known to some who were able to give me advice This way of communicating my condition I found the Lord blessed unto my soul insomuch that my hopes were more confirmed my fears more removed my faith more strengthned and by the hearing of such Sermons and reading such Books as came closest unto the conscience and were most for trial of ones spiritual condition I found the greatest benefit by and received the most comfort from them Formerly I had many fears that I was not one of them who had an interest in the Election of Grace But the Lord afterwards put into my heart to enquire whether I had those Graces of his Spirit wrought in me which none but his own elect people could have Upon the strictest searching into mine own heart the Lord was pleased after many years of fear at last to evidence unto my soul that there was a change wrought in my heart will and affections notwithstanding the remainders of sin and corruption which still encompassed me about being confident that he that had begun this good work would not leave it unfinished unto the day of Jesus Christ and the Lord was pleased to set home divers Promises for the strengthning of my faith to wit those which set down the Everlasting Covenant 2 Sam. 23. 5. The Everlasting love of God Jer. 31. 3. Joh. 11. 13. The certainty of the Foundation 2 Tim. 2. 19. The certainty of the Promises 2 Cor. 1. 20. They are all in Christ Yea and Amen and that the children of God have eternal life promised unto them and that none shall be ever able to pluck them out of Christs hands Joh. 10. 28. Then for divers years the Lord was pleased to stay me to lead and guide me till he had set my feet upon that Rock which is higher than I from whence I trust that I shall never be removed And now my hearts desire is to ascribe that measure of hope and comfort which the Lord hath given me at any time onely unto the praise of the glory of his Grace who hath made me accepted in his Beloved which is so great a mercy as I can never be thankfull enough for nor walk answerable thereunto I know when I look into my heart there is matter of fear that the Lord will withdraw the influences of his comforts from me But that which I rest upon is the free mercy of God in Christ expecting performance of his Promises made Rom. 6. 16. Sin shall not have dominion over you because you are not under the Law but under Grace And Ezek. 36. 25. that he will sprinkle clean water upon me and that he will give me a new heart and put a new spirit within me that he will take away my stony heart and give me an heart of flesh being perswaded that the Lord will keep me by his own Power through faith unto salvation And now that I may have all the Graces of the Spirit strengthened and encreased in me which I finde that I stand in continual need of It is the desire of my soul to be a partaker of the Lords Supper which through the blood of Christ onely I have right unto This is the particular account of Gods gracious dealing with this godly Gentlewoman considering there was no administration of the Sacrament in that Parochial Congregation where she lived and used formerly to receive it nor any Pastor at all to officiate there she being desirous to enjoy that great Ordinance and that after a pure way of administration sent this aforementioned Narrative
the godly and the miserable condition of the wicked in their death and so for ever unto all eternity it pleased the Lord so much to affect my heart with it as from that time my heart was wrought over to a desire to walk in the wayes of God But at that time I fear I did not go upon a right principle for I then did not eye the glory of God in it but only my own safety that it might be well with me for ever But quickly after that I had but begun to set my face towards Sion I was set upon with many temptations and perplexities in my thoughts which were very troublesome to me at all times but especially when I was alone the consideration whereof brought such an horrour upon my conscience insomuch as I did not know what to do That little I had whether from education or from the light of Nature caused a striving in me continually against those thoughts of Atheisme which were most terrible unto me I was sensible that it was a fearfull sin to have any such thoughts to lodge within my brest but I desired from my soul to be freed from them and had continuall reasonings within me against them and yet still for a long time I was troubled but could not acquaint any with my condition I did not think that it was so with any other as it was with me In this strait when I knew not which way to turn me even there did the Lord extend his compassion towards me in my greatest extremity in directing me to read Calvins Institutions and especially that part that treats of the Creation Whereupon the Lord was pleased to give in such satisfaction to my soul concerning those things about which I was troubled as that from that time forwards I was not violently assaulted in that kind But no sooner was I freed from that trouble but new ones sprang up For the very remembrance of that horrid sin of Atheisme left such a terrour upon my spirit as made me fear that I had committed that sin against the Holy Ghost and so my condition seemed to be not only for the present but in my apprehension then for ever most miserable All other sins though never so great I knew upon true repentance were pardonable but this sin that I lay under the fear of I knew out of the Word of God should never be pardoned which caused many sad fears upon my spirit known to God alone For the removall of these fears the Lord in mercy directed me to the reading of Mr. Scudders Works where are laid down the marks of that sin Upon perusall whereof the Lord was pleased to satisfie my misgiving heart by a clear manifestation to my soul that I had not committed that sin and so assured me that though my sins were great yet were they pardonable which put me more chearfully upon the use of such means as the Lord had directed me unto And having satisfaction given in concerning this particular there was a great burden taken off from my spirit Although I found no grace in my heart nor discovery of the love of God unto my soul yet in that there was but a possibility there was a ground of comfort administred to my heart which I formerly feared that I should be shut out from But still my fears remained that I was not one of those in particular for whom Christ died The more I looked into mine own heart the more I saw of sin and Satan discouraging me from having any hope that the Lord should accept of such a vile sinfull wretch as I was who had entertained such sinfull thoughts I likewise thought how small the number was of those that should be saved in comparison of others and my repentance I feared came short of that which was required in the Gospel As for faith I could not find the least measure of it in my soul with many other sad discouraging thoughts But when I was most perplexed with fears and doubts even then did the Lord graciously dart in some beams of his reconciled countenance as I was reading something in Mr. Scudders Christian daily Walk c. which the Lord set home upon my soul and brought into my soul so much joy and comfort at the present as neither my tongue nor Pen can express But this joy remained not long for I quickly lost the sense of it yet the remembrance of it was sweet unto me at all times But after this all my former fears returned afresh again upon my heart only I had a door of hope opened that when God saw it best for me he would return and renew his reconciled countenance unto my soul in the clear light and apprehension thereof and this was when I was about sixteen years of age After which time the Lord did exercise me with various dispensations For for two years space I was by providence cast upon a place where I heard very little powerfull preaching small helps for the good of my soul but what the Lord was pleased to give in by the use of private means But his power and abundant mercy was much seen in that time that though I had not much comfort yet the Lord was pleased to keep up my spirit in a way of depending upon him and my fears were less at that time than formerly when I had more helps So gracious was tâ—â— Lord unto me in keeping me alive in a time of famine After this through Gods goodness I was sometimes under the preaching of a powerfull Minister Mr. Bateman of Ockingam who was Crowned with the conversion strengthening and building up of many souls unto whose preaching the Lord gave me such a blessing as I seldome if ever went away from hearing him without comfort Though I came to hear him with many doubts upon my spirit yet the Lord so ruled and directed him as if his Sermons had been only concerning my particular and he fully acquainted with the whole condition of my soul. Sometimes the Lord directed me to some supporting Promises upon which I relied But those Promises which were made to Believers though I highly prized them yet I durst not apply them to my self fearing that I had no interest in them But that Promise Prov. 28. 13. He that confesseth and forsaketh his sins shall find mercy And that 1 Joh. 1. 9. If we confess our sins he is faithfull and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness And the Promise is 1 Joh. 2. 1 2. If any man sin we have an Advocate with the Father Jesus Christ the Righteous and he is the propitiation for our sins and not for ours onely but for the sins of the whole world and the Invitation Isa. 55. 1. Ho every one that thirsteth come ye to the waters and he that hath no money come ye buy and eat yea come buy wine and milk without money and without price together with
All that thou sees't and readest is Divine Learning thus vs'd is water turn'd to wine Well may wee then despaire to draw his minde View heere the case i' th Booke the Jewell finde 〈◊〉 sculpsit P. V. A. M. fecit A COLLECTION OF THE LIVES OF Ten Eminent Divines Famous in their Generations for Learning Prudence Piety and painfulness in the work of the Ministry Whereunto is added the Life of GVSTAVUS ERICSON King of Sueden who first Reformed RELIGION in that Kingdome and of some other Eminent Christians By Sa. Clarke Preacher of the Gospel in St Bennet Fink London Be ye followers of me even as I also am of Christ 1 Cor. 11. 1. Brethren be ye followers together of me and mark them which walk so as ye have us for an ensample Phil. 3. 17. Ministri vita censura Cynosura LONDON Printed for William Miller at the Guilded Acorn near the Little North-door in St. Pauls Church-yard 1662. To the Candid Reader CHRISTIAN READER I Here present thee with another Volume of the Lives of Ten Eminent Ministers of Jesus Christ and of some other Christians The acceptance of my former Labours in this kinde hath encouraged me to make some further progress herein We see how diligent the Papists have been to write and publish the Lives of their Rome-canonized Saints though most of them were but Ignes fatui that led men into Boggs of Errour or blinde leaders of the blinde as the Pharisees were in our Saviours time till both fell into the ditch How much more diligent and carefull should we be to perpetuate the Memories of those who were fixed Stars not in the Antichristian but in the true Church of Christ And truly if any Church in the Christian world since the Reformation much more through Gods great mercy hath the Church of England abounded with such And now what doth the Lord require of us but that we should be followers of those who through faith and patience inherit the Promises Good examples are for imitation bad for evitation Good examples put a kinde of life into men Even tired Jades seeing other Horses to gallop will easily be put into a gallop also and experience shews that its a good means for our quickning duely to observe the examples of such as have been forward in godlinesse according to that of the Apostle Phil. 3. 17. Mark them which walk so as you have us for an example It s the Spirits end in guiding some men in the right way and that eminently that by their walking therein they might excite others to follow them And it s also a special end of Regestring the Histories of the Saints departed For whatsoever was written aforetime was written for our learning and this is the best learning which we can reap from such Records to imitate their Excellencies and if it be possible to outstrip them therein God in his wisdome hath not Regestred them that they should be known onely as matter of Story for our delight but for our direction and imitation and to shew that the things which he requires of us are possible seeing they have been done by others before us as also to shew the way and means more plainly how to do them and to declare how gratefull and acceptable they are when done For the Scriptures are not penned altogether in a commanding stile but have sweet alluring Examples mingled with the Precepts There are four wayes saith an eminent Divine of teaching Rule Reason Similitudes and Examples The two former enjoyn but work not upon the affections and as for Smilitudes they are for illustration onely Examples conform us in a sweet alluring manner and that we may receive good from good Examples these Rules are to be observed 1. We must eye and pry into them which is the very end why God hath left us a continuall succession of good Examples 2. We must eye them not to observe their weaknesses to discover their shame for this is a poysonous disposition neither may we observe them thereby to take liberty to the flesh from what is amiss in them but we must eye them as we look into Glasses to dress and adorn our selves thereby 3. We must eye them for imitation We must look upon the best and the best in the best We must not compare our selves with those who are inferiour to us in Gifts and Graces For he that thinks himself good by comparison is not good at all St. Paul saith Brethren be ye followers of me even as I am of Christ He propounded to himself the most excellent pattern of all even of Christ himself and he blamed the Corinthians because they measured themselves by themselves 2 Cor. 10. 12. 4. We must labour for soft and sanctified hearts for a stony heart will receive no impression 5. We must look to every one that hath any good thing worthy imitation For in every Christian there is something imitable and therefore St. Paul longed to see the Romans that he might be comforted by their faith Rom. 1. 12. 6. Lastly In things concerning which there is no certain rule to direct us we ought to imitate the Examples of the most holy and sober Christians as in the fashion of our apparrel the length of our hair c. And as good examples are very profitable so there is much danger in those that are evil which by reason of the corruption of our natures are great incentives and allurements to sin Nemo errat uni sibi sed dementiam spargit in proximos accipitque invicem saith Seneca No man erres to himself also but disperseth and communicates his folly to his Neighbours alone and interchangeably receiveth the like from them And as evil Examples are hurtfull in all so they are most pernicious in superiours For seldome do these tall Cedars fall but they beat down all the low shrubs about them Thus Magistrates by their evil example corrupt their subjects Parents their children Masters their servants and especially Princes their people seeing all the Country either for fear or flattery is apt to conform to their Examples Ea conditio est Principis ut quicquid faciat praecipere videatur saith Quintilian Princes actions stand for precepts and their examples have the power of a Law to draw their subjects to imitation As the Heliotrope moves after the Sun so do subjects follow the manners of their Princes Regis ad exemplum totus componitur Orbis Alexander the Great used to carry his head on the one side whereupon his Nobles and Courtiers in imitation of him did the like The common people saith one are like a flock of Cranes as the first flyes all the rest follow after or as a Beast where all the body follows the Head Rulers sins do much hurt as by imputation Delirant Reges plectuntur Achivi so by imitation For man is an Apish creature apter to be led by his eyes than by his ears Magis intuentur quid fecerit Jupiter quam quid docuit
Sir your head doth not lye right he answered It will lye right in my Coffin July the 25 at one a clock in the morning Death began to seize on his left foot from which the spirits retiring he felt the deadness of that part and a very sharp pain in the part of the leg adjoyning to it Hereupon he called for his Son and told him He feared that he should have a difficult death He then commanded two Surgeons to be sent for to look upon his leg whom he required to tell him whether or no his Foot were any whit discoloured It seems he had conceived some fear of a Gangrene but being satisfied by them that there could not be any ground for such an apprehension he rested with patience In the evening of that day being visited by Mr. Santhil and lying in great anguish by reason of the violence of his heat he prayed for pity and patience support here and a comfortable issue July 26. Early in the morning being full of pain gasping and panting he cryed out How long Lord How long Come speedily But though Death had made an encroachment upon his outward perishing part yet his inward man felt no decay For with a full use of reason he that morning ordered the continuance of a weekly relief to certain poor persons as also ofâ—some small monethly Pensions to some widows for a season He also caused his Physitian to be consulted with about taking something that might procure rest and was erected to a more cheerful disposition He also enquired after News and dicoursed freely yet confessed himself to be in pain About three a clock that afternoon feeling some great change after the putting forth of Nature he called his Sister Son and Daughter to receive his last charge and when they were come he thus spake unto them My heart fails and my strength fails but God is my Fortress and the strong Rock of my salvation Into thy hands therefore I commend my soul for thou hast redeemed me O God of truth Then turning his discourse to his Son he said Son you have a great charge look to it Instruct your wife and family in the fear of God and discharge your Ministry conscientiously To his Sister a Gentlewoman two years elder than himself he said Sister I thought you might have gone before me but God calls for me first I hope we shall meet in Heaven I pray God to bless you His Daughter he admonished to minde the worldless and God more for that all things without Piety and the true fear of God are nothing worth He advised also that his Son Draper being a man of means should entertain some godly Minister into his house to teach his children and instruct his family He exhorted them all to love and concord which he said he hoped the rather because he had cleerly settled his estate so as to prevent differences He inlarged himself in each of these a little wishing them all to lay to heart the words of a dying man After this he desired that all should withdraw and leave him to his rest which he hoped was at hand But all his conflicts were not yet accomplished July the 27 His voice began to be less intelligible the putrid preternatural heat having furred up his mouth as is usual in Feavors yet both his understanding and senses were very quick and active About six of the clock in the evening he called for his Son to recommend his soul unto God by prayer and endeavoured to express what he desired but could not do it so clearly as to be well understood yet by his gestures he gave assurance that he understood perfectly and concurred fervently with the devotions used on his behalf Within an hour after Nature being quite spent he gave up the ghost and was translated into that Rest which he so often and earnestly had desired to finde in another World because he could obtain none in this Thus after forty three years inspection of this pious and diligent Pastor of Redrith he left his Flock returning to the great and chief Shepherd of our souls from his gracious hands to receive an incorruptible Crown of glory having almost compleated fourscore years For his Person the express whereof though he was often importuned by dear Friends he would never allow to be taken either by pencel or sculpture He was of a middle stature of a thin body and of a lively countenance of a fresh complexion that looked young when he came to preach at â—incolns Inne and yet was grey betimes which made him to be thought elder than he was because he had long appeared ancient in the eyes of the world of a choicely temperate diet of a free and cheerful conversation addicted much to study yet not secluding himself from fit company He was of a quick apprehension sharp reason solid judgement vast memory which through Gods mercy continued fresh to the last of his dayes He was Helluo librorum one that did not vainly encrease his Liberary for ostentation but chose books for use which also he made of them so happily that he had conquered a strong portion of learning which he made to serve him upon all occasions He was not so great a treasurer as a free dispenser of those riches of the minde which he did communicate readily expeditely and cleerly He was an ornament to the University and of that Society designed for the study of the Law a Light of the Church the salt of the place where he abode a loving Husband a discreet Parent a faithful Friend a kinde Neighbour a courteous entertainer of strangers a candid encourager of Students a stout Champion for the Truth yet a lover of peace preserving the unity of Charity even where there was difference of judgement an Adversary to novel fancies as well as to antiquated superstitons in Religion of a Christian Magnanimity in despising the world and therefore resolute through bad report as well as good to maintain a clear conscience In brief he was a faithful Shepherd and a fit mirrour for Pastors as well as an exact patern for people who having almost compleated eighty years departed full of 〈◊〉 but being dead yet speaks in his living Monuments of sound Learning His Printed Works are these Of the Nature and use of Lots in 4o. A Just Defence of the same against Mr. Jo. Balmford in 4o. Tho. Gatakeri Londinatis Antithesis partim Guilielmi Amesii partim Gisberti voetii de sorte Thesibus reposita in 4o. A Discourse of Transubstantiation with a Defence thereof in 4o. Davids Instructer The Christian mans care The Spiritual Watch. The gain of Godliness with Self-sufficiency The Just mans joy with signs of Sincerity Jacobs Thankfulness Davids Remembrancer Noahs Obedience A Memorial of Englands Deliverance in 88. Sorrow for Sion Gods Parley with Princes with an appeal from them to him Eleazers Prayer being a Marriage Sermon A good Wife Gods gift A Wife indeed Marriage
and her husband who had been a happy instrument of satisfying many others could give her no satisfaction One day as she was complaining that she could finde no comfort O saith he What an Idol do some make of comfort as if their comfort were their Christ In the middest of these trials he yet took notice of these comforts and mercies 1. That she was kept from blaspheming the Highest for so she stiled God and from hurting her self and others 2. That this affliction awakened him and his children for they esteemed her the most conscientious and innocent amongst them all 3. It put him upon more work than his age could well bear that so he might call out his thoughts upon business and not eat up his own heart with grief and care And lastly it wrought in him an holy despair of all creature-comforts for now he could neither enjoy childe nor friend nor food nor sleep having her continually before him in his eye ear and heart and all friends fearâ—ng to come in sight lest they should wound themselves or trouble her onely continual pâ—ayers were offered up for her upon all occasions which gave hopes that the Lord might yet make her end comfortable and conquest glorious However her Husband would often say That the difference was not great whether comfort came at death or an hour after since comfort would come assuredly But leaving her under a general expectation of a blessed issue in the best time we return once more to her Husband now ready to enter into his Haven of rest After a long and laborious life which could not but be painful to him that underwent it we come at length to his last long and painful sickness which is the usual Harbinger of Death In the Summer he began to droop and finding his decay he sent for two Physitians Dr. Bathurst and Dr. Willis who were well known to him and his by former experiences and eminently known in the University to whom he professed that he used means meerly in obedience to God but for his own part he could live and durst dye His â—hysitians as himself confessed had proceeded so far as Art and Learning could carry them but herein they would lose of their worth that they had to deal with complicated diseases which were seldome removed but most of all with old age a disease which was never cured His first encounter was with a vehement Pleuâ—itical pain in his left side which was attended with a Feavor as also with a great defluxion of Rheume and oppression of his lungs with Flegme and when after divers weeks all these his Assailants seemed well-nigh vanquished through the tender care of his skilful Physitians yet then that enemy which had so long lodged in his bosome brake forth into an Empyema which he expectorated daily in so great a measure for the space of two moneths or more that hereby together with some fits of his old diseases the Stone and Strangury he was not able to speak much to those that visited him And herein indeed it fell out according to what he had often foretold in his best strength viz. That little was to be expected from him on his death-bed which occasioned him to write fearing that his tongue might not then be able to utter it his advice and counsel to his Family many years before his death The truth is he the rather forbore to speak because he perceived that some had a design to make his speeches publick which he was utterly averse to neither would he consent that any thing of his Life or Death should be written Nay he could never be perswaded at any time to fit that his Picture might be drawn so desirous he was that all of him might be buried with him And albeit he spit up those Lungs which he had wasted in the Pulpit yet could not that light of Grace be so smothered under a Bushel but that oft-times the beams thereof would shine forth and himself would breathe forth himself in pithy speeches and savoury discourses In the beginning of his sickness being desired to admit of company he answered I am alone in company it s all one to me to be left alone or to have Friends with me my work is now to arm my self for Death which assaults me and I apply my self as I am able for that great encounter And accordingly he spent his whole time in meditation prayer and reading the holy Scriptures especially the Book of Psalmes the Prophesie of Isaiah and St. Johns Gospel taking exceeding delight in the 10 14 15 16 and 17 Chapters of that Evangelist After which time his nights were long and sleeps short and when he could neither sleep nor sit up in his bed to read his manner was to command others to read to him and then himself would collect the most useful things that were contained in the Chapter explaining such things as were difficult and sweetly feeding upon the rest His constant practice was to exhort such as either visited or attended upon him above all things to get Faith It is saith he your victory your peace your life your Crown and your chief piece of spiritual Armour Howbeit get on all the other pieces and then go forth in the Lords might stand to the fight and the issue shall be glorious onely forget not to call in the help of your General Do all from him and under him On the Lords dayes he would not hinder any from the publick Ordinances for any thing that was to be done about him till Sermons were ended and then he would say Come what have you for me meaning something of Repetition unto which he would attend with such diligence as that he would summe up the heads of every Sermon and say O what excellent truths are these lay them up charily you will have need of them When Friends came to visit him he used to say I cannot speak but I can hear And when he was asked where his comfort lay His answer was In Christ and in the free Grace of God One telling him Sir you may take much comfort in your labours you have done much good c. His answer was All is nothing without a Saviour without him my best works would condemn me Oh I am ashamed of them being mixed with so much sin Oh I am an unprofitable servant I have not done any thing for God as I ought loss of time sits heavy upon my spirit Work work apace assure your selves nothing will more trouble you when you come to dye than that you have done no more for God who hath done so much for you Sometimes he used thus to breathe out himself I never in all my life saw the worth of a Christ nor tasted the sweetness of Gods love in that measure as now I do When he was asked what should be done for him His answer was Do not onely pray for me but praise God for his unspeakable mercy
tears put her Prayers to a pause When the heart is full of love the mouth is filled with praise of a person most deservedly and most dearly beloved whereof we have an example in this vertuous Gentlewoman who when time company and occasion did invite her to communicate to others the good matter which her heart had indited of God she used her Tongue as the pen of a ready writer Psal. 45. 1. And when she had that great King for the subject of her speech she spake of him with such hearty and savoury relishes of sacred delight and reverence and with such an affectionate force as if her soul were ready to leap out at her lips into the ears of others to kindle the same holy fire in their hearts who heard her which burned in her own bosome longing as David did that others might taste and see the goodnâ—ss of the Lord Psal. 34. 8. that they might be Rivals with her in her Religious love and glad she was when any sinner was converted or any already called better enabled to promote the glory of God and that was the end which she principally aimed at in her godly discourse of him In giving vent to her heart in this duty she could spend her spirits with great delight both to her self and to those choice friends who had opportunity to hear her when just occasion was ministred unto her and yet when she had spoken best she found matter of complaint in her own expressions as being too faint and too flat and so far below that which was meet for the Majesty of the great God insomuch as all the acceptation which she desired of him was but to pardon her presumption as the errour of her love for taking upon her to speak of his Excellency and the weakness of her spirit and speech which made her fall infinitely short of doing him right in the publication of his praise Another evidence of her dear affection unto God was the great love which for his sake she bore to whom or whatsoever had any near relation to him according to that 1 Joh. 4. 21. He that loves God must love his brother also and he must love him rather in a direct than in a collateral line as Gods childe rather than as his brother more for Gods sake than for his own The dearest degree of love belongs to those persons and things which are nearest to him and to such she bore a sincere and singular good will As to his Saints with David Psal. 16. 3. and to his true Religion and worship both at home and abroad the happy progress and prosperity whereof was with her as Jerusalem with David preferred above her chiefest joy Psal. 137. 6. and it was a great affliction to her heart to hear any ill tidings of any good man or any good cause She highly prized Gods word and in the blessed Sacrament of the Lords Supper she felt such a sweet refreshing as might make amends for the severity of her frequent fasting so that for her part and portion of it in respect of the common sort of Communicants she might say I have meat that ye know not of Joh. 4. 32. Dainties which infinitely exceed whatsoever delighteth or pleaseth a sensual pallate For the house of God she shewed her self just of Davids minde when she said I have loved the habitation of thy house the place where thine honour dwelleth Psal. 26. 8. and How amiable are thy Tabernacles O Lord of Hosts my soul longeth yea even fainteth for the Courts of the Lord Psal. 84. 1 2. If by any imperious impediment she were kept from the Church as by sickness in her body c. her soul was love-sick by her longings to be there and whereas many women take a little occasion to absent themselves from it she would many times force her feeble body to carry her soul to the Sanctuary though the day before she were confined not only to her chamber but to her bed whereby though she hazarded her health yet it pleased God so graciously to accept of her zeal to his House that she was never the worse for those pious adventures She kept a great distance from doting on the world which St. James condemns as enmity to God Jam. 4. 4. Though while she lived she could not choose but be in the world yet did she so love her dear Lord Jesus Christ that for his sake she was exceedingly estranged from the world which appeared 1. By her estrangement from sensual delights which she shewed by her frequent fasting from meats and drinks By her abstinence from such sports and pastimes as before her conversion she had been too immoderately addicted unto and by her fiâ—m resolution to forbear Marriage after her widowhood and to rest in that condition wherein she might best attend upon the service of God Indeed her love and delight in communion with God made her mindeless of meat and careless of provision for the flesh Well she knew that though fasting makes the body weak as David saith My knees are weak through fasting and my flesh faileth of fatness Psal. 109. 20. yet it strengthneth the spirit and maketh it vigorous in conflict and victorious in the event yea fasting and prayer make a potent combination which is able to drive the strongest Devil out of his usurped possession as Matth. 17. 21. These two she used not onely as weapons against the Devil but as wings to elevate her soul God-ward and heaven-ward yet herein was she observant of our Saviours rule Mat. 17. 18. that she fasted without an appearance of fasting onely the next day it might be discerned by her faintness she having spent her spirits in spiritual exercises the day before For those sports and pastimes wherein formerly she had taken too much contentment she not onely abstained from them but much complained of her vanity in them Her eyes which before were used to behold them with delight now shed tears of shame and sorrow that formerly she had set her minde so much upon them and now she imployed them in the more frequent and affectionate reading of the holy Scriptures wherein she took more delight than she had done before in the most pompous Spectacles set out to take the eyes with gazing and the minde with wonder And as for Marriage her heart was so devoted to her Lord Christ that though she had divers fair invitations to it by such as both for profit and credit and other considerable respects were worthy rather to be desired than denied yet she resolved not to change her condition in that kinde and that not onely in love and loyalty to her former Husband but that she might be more free to serve God according to that of St. Paul 1 Cor. 7. 34. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord that she may be holy both in body and spirit but she that is married careth for the things
Gal. 6. 10. Do good unto all but especially to the houshold of faith She indeed shut up her charity from none that had need of it but she enlarged it chiefly to such as were of the faithfull Her love and charity was very intire and great to her friends yet not so confined to them but that she reserved a competent measure for them that dealt unfriendly with her or that were enemies to her If there was any unkinde difference between her and any one though she enjoyed the freedome of her judgement to think as there was cause yet would she not suffer her affections to be estranged from them but was ready to do them good if power and opportunity did furnish her for it She requited love for hatred pity for spight â—riendly offices for offensive usages She bare ill will to none She hated nothing but that which is worse than nothing Sin and that she hated in all and most of all in her own soul. As her Charity was evidenced by doing so also by suffering If any tribulation were upon others or imminent over them she was like minded with her Lord and Master according to that of the Prophet Isa. 63. 9. In all their afflictions he was afflisted She did passionately sympatize in the sufferings of her fellow-members If it was ill with the Church or any particular Saints it was no better with her Charity made her suffer as much by inward affection as they did of their enemies by outward affliction Her Patience also was very remarkable For though her apprehensions were quick enough to conceive any thing tending to the disturbance of peace and patience yet she enjoyed such a calmness of spirit as could hardly be turned to a storm If any were injurious towards her her tongue could more readily pray and her eyes weep for them than with looks or words of indignation or disdain set upon them If she were angry at others which was very seldome it was sin their sin that was the cause of it If news came to her of any losses in her estate as sometimes there did of great ones yet was she never put out of temper with those ill tidings having these considerations ready at hand to quiet her heart It is that God that gave all that now taketh away some why should I take it ill He would not have me to be in love with nor to relye upon uncertain riches which were never true to any that trusted them but upon himself and I willingly renounce them to rest upon him He can if he see it good recompence the loss in the like or some better kinde If he take more there will yet be many poorer than my self and if he take away all my goods he can give me content without them for he is All-sufficient and so though I have nothing I may be as possessing all things 2 Cor. 6. 10. The world and I must part and whether we be unstiched by parcels or torn asunder by taking all at once all is one to me that which he chooseth is best for us both for his owne glory and my good if I grudge not against him but willingly as I pray give way to his will By bodily sufferings her patience was exceedingly tried both for the truth and strength of it For of some of her children she had long painful and very perilous labour but that which exceeded all was a long and sore sickness to which were applied very rough and irksome remedies so that she suffered not onely the anguish of her disease but many things also of the Physitians as that woman in the Gospel Mark 5. 28. and had it onely been pain and torment it had been more tolerable but it was accompanied with a strange infirmity and deformity Her jaw being faln she could not bring it up towards her upper jaw Her mouth was drawn awry towards her ears so that with much difficulty both to her self and others her food was conveyed through so crooked a passage to her throat which might have caused the greater discontent to her minde because it was the shipwrack of much beauty and comeliness which until then was seated in her countenance and whereof she kept remarkable impressions to her dying day yet shewed she admirable patience under this great affliction to which her heart was brought meekly to submit and concerning which she said that if it pleased the Lord still to continue her a spectacle of deformed misery she would not repine at his doing or her own suffering but would willingly abide it until he freed her body from the disease by health or her soul from her body by death Her Modesty also manifested it self by her shame-faced estrangement from sin and vanity concerning which vertue in her it may be said that it was rather sometimes too much than any time too little and it shewed it self divers wayes 1. In her look which was habitually composed to a modest and gracious gravity so that against any thing that was unseemly to be said or done she carried a severe rebuke in her very countenance or if any were so immodest as to speak or do any thing before her not becoming Christianity her modesty made some supply to their want of it she would blush for them 2. In her Speech whereas some would have vaunted themselves or made some vain-glorious shew of such sufficiency as was in her she rather shadowed her own light with a dark Lanthorn and therefore in that wherein she was a teacher she carried her self as in the person of a learner rather asking questions than making resolutions or giving rules and directions unto others 3. By her Silence For as St. Ambrose saith Thoughâ— silence be a rest to other vertues yet is it a chief act anâ— exercise of Modesty yea her pace her habit and he whole behaviour was a lesson of modesty which together with her other vertues wrought a kinde of awfulness in her person so that those that had not grace to do well in private were more afraid and ashamed of an appearance of evil in her presence than in the sight of many a Magistrate As for Humility she made great account of it she studied it seriously and got it so by heart that there was no need of Art to make profession or ostentation of it Solomon makes contention the proper effect of pride Prov. 13. 10. So peaceableness is a sure sign of Humility and this she shewed in that she could endure contradiction reproaches and other trials of Humility without a quarrel or breach of peace with any being still ready to deny her self and to yeeld to others so far as with a safe conscience she could Once a new Gown being brought her to put on and presented as a gift from he Husband wherein his kindness had put him to more cost than she wished to make her more fine than she desired to be she humbly besought with tears that it might not