my head and my Trespass is grown up even unto Heaven All the thoughts and imaginations of my heart have been Evil and only Evil and that continually I have wrought many and great provocations in thy sight especially O Lord c. Here enumerate thy old capital Sins and that in the mosâ— provoking manner They have not been only single but repeated acts of sin for O Lord of this black Cataloguâ— which I have now brought forth before thee how few are there which I have not often times committed nay which are not become even habitual and customary unto me And to this frequency I have added both agreediness and obstinacy in sinning turning into my course as the Horse rusheth into the Battel doing evil with both hands earnestly yea hating to be reformed and casting thy words behind me quenching thy Spirit within me which testified against me to turn me from my evil ways and frustrating all those outward means whether of Judgment or Mercy which thou hast used to draw me to thy self Nay O Lord even my Repentances may be numbred amongst my greatest Sins they have sometimes been feigned and hppocritical always so slight and ineffectual that they have brought forh no Fruit in amendment of Life but I have still return'd with the Dog to his vomit and the Sow to the mire again and have added the breach of many resolutions and vows both at thy Table and in private to all my former Guilts Yea O Lord I desire to confess to my own shame and confusion that since the last time that I humbled my self in thy sight and so solemnly vowed and purposed to forsake every Sin and not to regard any iniquity in my heart I have returned unto the same if not worse Sins than I then came to confess before thee and to beg pardon at thy hands for for my thoughts O Lord have been vain c. Here enumerate the sins My Words have been inconsiderate c. my Actions have been unweighed c. And besides all this O Lord I have still the same proneness to that which is evil aversness and obstinacy towards what is good I have still an impenitent hard heart which is not sufficiently mollified with the sense of my Sins or thy wrath due unto me for them O God! God be merciful to me a Sinner yea I know not how often I have offended O cleanse cleanse thou me from my secret faults Thus thus O Lord am I become out of measure sinful and since I have thus chosen death I am most worthy to take part in it even in the second death the lake of Fire and Brimstone which burneth for evermore This this O Lord is in Justice to be the portion of my Cup to me belongs nothing but shame and confusion of face and that eternally But to thee O Lord God belongeth mercy and forgiveness though I have â—â—belled against thee O remember not my Sins and Offences but according to thy mercy think thou upon me O Lord for thy goodness Thou sentest thy Son to seek and to save that which was lost be hold O Lord I have gone astray like a Sheep that is lost O seek thy servant and bring me back again to the Shepherd and Bishop of my Soul Let thy Spirit work in me a hearty sense and detestation of all my abominations that true contrition of heart which thou hast promised not to despise And then be thou pleased to look upon me in mercy to take away all my iniquity and to receive me graciously into thy favour and for his sake who hath done nothing amiss be thou reconciled to me who have done nothing well Wash away the guilt of all my Sins in his Blood bury them so deep in his grave and hide them in his Wounds that they may never rise up in Judgment against me either here to shame me or hereafter to condemn me and subdue the power of them by his grace and grant O Lord that I may from this hour bid a final adieu to all Vngodliness and Worldly Lusts that I may never once more cast a look toward Sodom or long after the Flesh Pots of Egypt but consecrate my self intirely to thee to serve thee in righteousness and true holiness all the days of my life reckoning my self to be dead indeed unto sin but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our blessed Lord and Saviour Amen After this go on with your Devotions and pray over the One and fiftieth Psalm HAve mercy upon me O God after thy great goodness according to the multitude of thy mercies do away mine offences Wash me throughly from my wickedness and cleanse me from my sins For I acknowledg my faults and my sin is ever before me Against thee thee only have I sinned and done these Evils in thy sight that thou mightest be justified in thy saying and clear when thou art judged Behold I was shapen in Wickedness and in sin hath my Mother conceived me But lo thou requirest Truth in the inward parts and shalt make me to understand Wisdom secretly Thou shalt purge we with Hysop and I shall be clean thou shalt wash me and I shall be whither than Snow Thou shalt make me hear of joy and gladness that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoyce Turn thy face from my sins and put out all my misdeeds Make me a clean heart O God and renew a right spirit within me Cast me not away from thy presence and take not thy holy Spirit from me O take away this stony this hard heart of mine and give me a heart of flesh O give me the comfort of thy help again and stablish me with thy free Spirit Then shall I teach thy ways unto the wicked and sinners shall be converted unto thee Deliver me from blood-guiltiness O God thou that art the God of my health and my tongue shall sing of thy righteousness Thou shalt open my lips O Lord and my mouth shall shew thy praise For thou desirest no Sacrifice else would I give it thee but thou delightest not in burnt Offering The Sacrifice of God is a troubled Spirit a broken and contrite Heart O God shalt thou not despise O be savourable and gracious unto Sion build thou the Walls of Jerusalem Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifice of Righteousness with the burnt Offerings and Oblations then shall they offer Young Bullocks upon thine Altar Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Ghost As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be World without end Amen Conclude your Penitentials with the following Collects ALmighty and everlasting God who hatest nothing that thou hast made and do'st forgive the sins of all them that are penitent create and make in me a new and contrite heart that I worthily lamenting my sins and acknowledging my wretchedness may obtain of thee the God of all mercy perfect remission and forgiveness through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen O
much less can I perform any good Action that might please thee I most humbly beseech thee that as by thy special Grace preventing me thou dost put into my Mind good desires and intentions so by thy continual help I may bring the same to good Effect To that end I beseech thee cleanse the thoughts of my Heart by the Inspiration of thy Holy Spirit and give me such a preparation of Soul as may qualifie me for the Duties of the ensuing day and grant that I may perfectly love thee delight in thy service and worthily magnifie thy holy Name through Christ Jesus our Lord. The Morning being come consider what necessary business you have to do that day and dispose as prudently of it as you can that it may not interfere with your Holy Exercises of Religion when you begin upon it And if any such be you may do well to dispatch it in the Morning In your private Morning Devotions be not unmindful to continue your Requests unto God for his assistance in the Duties of the day in these or the like Expressions which you may find place to insert among your other Petitions O Most gracious God thou hast been pleased to discover unto me my Duty and hast given me an hearty desire to perform the same But O Lord I know without thee I can do nothing but through thine assisting Grace I shall be able to offer up such a Sacrifice this day as may be well pleasing and acceptable in thy sight Let that Grace O Lord be sufficient for me to quicken my Devotions to kindle my Zeal and to work in me a Godly Humiliation for all my past Sins together with stedfast Resolutions of forsaking them for the time to come And tho O Lord I know thou hearest not Sinners wilfully resolved to persevere in their Sins yet thou wilt hear those that confess and abandon them Hear me therefore O Lord in the multitude of thy Mercies even in the Truth of thy Salvation and remove my Sins from before thy sight that they may not hinder good things from me this day but set them full in mine and let them ever be before me that I may not only confess them with an humble lowly penitent and obedient Heart but also actually forsake them that so 〈◊〉 may obtain forgiveness of the same by thy infinite goodness and mercy in and through Jesus Christ Amen Another to this purpose out of the Method of Private Devotions O Lord who seest the purposes of alâ— Hearts and hast been privy to the Intentions of thy Servant touching calling himself this day to an account of his ways and humbling himself before thee for all his Transgressions and rendring thee praise and thanks for all thy Mercies Be thou in Mercy present to mâ— by the preventings and assistings of thy Grace that I may with a true Hearâ— and contrite Spirit perform what I intend Grant that no worldly cares oâ— business may so take off my mind from thee but that I may be able forthwitâ— to return and without distraction to imploy my whole Soul in my designeâ— Devotions to the Glory of thy Name my own amendment and comfort here and everlasting Blessedness hereafter iâ— and through thy Son Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen 1. First abstain from all Food and Sustenance unless thouart of a weak and valetudinary temper until the Solemnity be over If thou art if thou eat and drink sparingly with a design only to strengthen thy self the better for the carrying on of thy Duty I think thou hast not broken thy Fast The Fast it self being not injoyned so much for its own sake but as it is a help and furtherance to other Duties 2. Have a care that you do not only fast from Meat but from Sin also for if you abstain from the former and not from the latter it is a great Argument of your Hypocrisie and that your Righteousness doth not exceed that of the Scribes and Pharisees who fasted to be seen of Men Matth. 6.16 and are promised their Reward shall go no farther than that of Men too This is not such a Fast as God hath chosen or will accept 3. Abstain likewise this day from all gratification of your Senses from all Pleasures and Recreations This day you have design'd for condemning your self for your sins for humiliation of your self for them and mourning over them then how inconsistent will this be with Mirth and Jollity Altogether as great a Soloecism as Musick and Dancing at a Funeral to have silence in the Kitchin and the noise of Mirth in the Chamber is a thing very indecent and incongruous 4. Lastly let not Intemperance be either the Preface or Conclusion to your Fast least the Fast be so far from taking off your old sins that it be an occasion to draw on new guilt Thus I have led you through those previous Acts towards this Duty of Fasting we now come more closely to the Exercises of it Being retired to thy Closet about Noon thy mind being as much as possible disburthen'd of Worldly Thoughts cast thy self down upon thy knees and humbly say In the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost Amen Prevent me O Lord in all my doings with thy most gracious favour and further me with thy continuual help that in all my Works begun continuued and ended in thee I may glorifie thy holy Name and finally by thy Mercy obtain everlasting life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen Our Father which art in Heaven c. And then taking Gods Holy Book into thy hands â—ay Sanctifie unto me O Lord my present Reading and Meditations that it may in some measure prepare me for that great Work I am now about Take off my mind from all Vain and Earthly Things and inspire it with a holy Zeal that I may with spiritual desires and affections perform this spiritual Duty and grant that nothing may find admitâ—ance into my heart but what shall reaâ—ilysubmit to thy Laws and Discipline Grant this O Lord for Jesus Christ â—is sake Amen After you have spent half an hour in â—he reading of that portion of Scripture which you have thought fit to select for his purpose or that good practical â—ook which you have made choice of â—pend another half hour in digesting it â—r Meditating upon it and make partiâ—ular applications of it to your self This â—roximate preparation also you will find â—ery necessary in Order to the calling â—f your Mind from Vain and Worldly â—houghts which without it would be too apt to Straggle and be Distracted and to fix and intend them on that Exercise which you are about This being done you begin again with Prayer after this manner O Lord thou High and Holy one whose glory is above the Heavens and hast Thousands of Angels Ministring unto thee and yet are pleas'd to humble thy self to behold the things that are done by us poor wretched Mortals here on Earth In confidence therefore
Mercies which thou freely and undeservedly at first gavest him and made himself obnoxious to thy Wrath and eternal Misery thou hast not abhorred our Nature but hast so loved and honoured thy sinful Creatures as to manifest thy self in our Flesh O! that Men would therefore praise the Lord for his Goodness and declare the Wonders that he doth for the Children of Men. I revere and adore thee O Most Glorious Majesty for the Son of thy love and for all those mercies we enjoy in and through him I praise and magnifie thy holy Name for the Mission of thy holy Spirit to be the Seal of our Adoption the Sanctifier of our Souls the Earnest of the Inheritance of the Saints and the First Fruits of Everlasting Felicity that thou hast spared me so long and given me so large a time for Repentance whereas thou mightest have justly long since cut me off in my Sins and sent me headlong into eternal Destruction Had I no other Mercies but Here enumeraâ—â— thy spiritual Mercies I have sufficient matter for perpetual Praise and Thanksgiving O what what shall I render unto the Lord for all the benefits he hath done unto me I will take the Cup of Salvation and will call upon the Name of the Lord Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive Riches and Wisdom and Honour and Power and Glory and Blessing Wherefore Blessing and Honour Glory and Power be unto him that sitteth upon the Throne and to the Lamb for ever and ever Besides O Lord those Spiritual Mercies I have infinite Obligations upon me to bless and praise thee for those Temporal ones I have and do yet enjoy Thou followest me with thy goodness day by day and loadest me with thy benefits every moment It is a great mercy that I live and a greater that I enjoy not only the necessaries but the comforts of Life Thou hast been wonderfully gracious unto me in thy protections of me from and deliverances out of many apparent dangers I desire with all thankfulness to remember here mention thy deliverances many more I have forgotten or which I have suffered to pass unregarded through inadvertency for all which my Soul doth magnifie the Lord and all that is within me praiseth his holy Name Praise thou the Lord O my Soul Blessed be thy holy Name in particular for the fresh Testimonies of thy mercies this day for that thou hast put it into my heart and given me an opportunity now to humble my self before thee by Prayer and Fasting to call my self to an account of my Sins to make stedfast Resolutions against them to beg thy preventing Grace to render thee thanks for thy Mercies and to endeavour a reconcilation with thee and for any assurance of thy love and favour which thou hast given in unto my Soul Praise the Lord O my Soul and forget not all or any of his benefits And now I beseech thee O blessed God to accept of my Sacrifice of Praise and Thanksgiving of my Fasting and Humiliation Alms and Oblation and do thou smell a sweet savour from them Let it be a Sacrifice well pleasing and acceptable in thy sight though not for any worth in it self yet in and for the Merits of Jesus Christ I confess O Lord should'st thou be extreme to mark the Iniquities of my holy things my Prayers have need to be prayed for my Repentance to be repented of and my Humiliations and Fastings to be humbled and fasted for But O Lord consider I pray thee that I am flesh and blood yea dust and ashes and so pity and pardon all my Infirmities and deal with me not according to the weakness of my performances but according to the riches of thy mercy in and through Jesus Christ Seal unto my Soul the pardon of all those sins that I have this day confess'd before thee and beg'd pardon at thy hands for especially c. and not only those but all others known or secret of what Nature or what kind soever Grant unto me all those Graces I have this day desired or thou seest me to stand in need of especially c. give me Grace to resist all Sin for the time to come not to regard any Iniquity in my heart but to abstain from the very appearance of Evil to have respect unto all thy Commandments and to serve thee by a constant sincere uniform and impartial Obedience all the days of my Life O mind me continually of all my Vows and Obligations and I pray thee let me receive such strength from thee as may enable me readily to perform the same Of my self I am a frail weak Creature obnoxious to the arrests and victory of all temptations O do thou perfect thy strength in my weakness and let thy Grace be sufficient for me O deliver me Blessed God from my own self and save me or I perish everlastingly that so when I appear again before thee in this manner I may find I have gotten Strength over my Corruptions and that I can now run the way of thy Commandments because thou hast set my Feet at liberty And now O Lord seeing thou hast been pleased to promise that thou wilt give thy holy Spirit to them that ask it I most humbly and ardently beseech thee to send down this holy Spirit into my heart and let him take possession there and rule and reign and govern therein for ever And let this Spirit of thine also if thou see it fit in the close of this Exercise assure my Soul of my pardon and reconciliation with thee and let me have any even the least taste of those joys those ravishments of thy Love wherewith some of thy Saints have been so transported that I may never be weary of well-doing nor faint in my mind but may run the way of thy Commandments with chearfulness and alacrity and may very feelingly and in the sincerity of my heart confess that thy ways are ways of pleasantness and all thy paths are Peace Hear me O Lord for my self Hear me for others Hear others for me and hear the Intercessions of thy dear Son Jesus Christ for us all In whose prevailing Name and holy Words I conclude my imperfect Prayers and Services saying Our Father which art in Heaven c. Thy grace O Lord Jesus Christ thy love O heavenly Father thy sweet and comfortable Fellowship O holy blessed and glorious Spirit of Grace be with me and remain with me always Amen This being over leave thy Closet and carry thy self with a Chearful gravity towards thy own Family or others that thon appear not unto Mâ—n to fast Mat. 6.18 then receive the good Creatures of God with moderation and thankfulness and conclude the day as you do other Days You having been for some time constant in this Duty your Soul will still call for it as your hungry Stomack will for food and you will delight in the â—eturns of it Some time the Week after it may be very profitable if you
if there be any sin upon Examination found besides the common Frailties of humane Nature in which your Conscience must not be partial commit it to your Diary and when you summ up all on your Fast-day you may have a particular Paper Book for that purpose and proceed after this method Jan. I fasted and found my self guilty of unclean and unchast thoughts and with delight and approbation of my will Of some frothy and corrupt Communication and of a propensity to unclean Actions Upon Examination of my self I find that drinking of Wine or strong Liquors using too plentiful Feeding Softness and Delicacy and suffering my thoughts to rove and wander hath been the chiefest cause that hath drawn on this Sin Upon which I intend God assisting me thus to regulate my self for the future 1 First I will labour to keep my body under by a low spare Diet avoiding drinking much Wine or Strong Drinks by spare sleeping and using hard postures in my Prayers 2 I will keep a strict Watch over my Thoughts and not permit any that are sinful or unclean to enter within me much less give them entertainment but as soon as they offer themselves to my fancy I will labour to divert them by holy and heavenly Meditations and Ejaculations 3 I will avoid all light and vain Company frothy Discourse idle Talk and the like 4 I will pray often unto God for a clean Heart and purity of Spirit for Temperance and Diligence Likewise found my self guilty of mis-spending my time in vain and idle Thoughts Discourse Company Keeping Recreations c. which I purpose by God's grace thus to avoid 1 First I will consider every morning what I am to do that day what time my Business or my Studies exact from me and so draw out as it were a platform of the whole days business allowing my self so much time for this thing and so much for the other that I may have no time to spend idly 2 I will be often thinking how precious my time is that I shall shortly give a strict account for it and that for ought I know time this day may expire in eternity or at least may be no more as to me God hath taught me the great value of it by his strait-handedness in the distribution of it insomuch that he gives me not two minutes together but when he gives me one he takes away the other 3 I will fill up the chasms and intervals of my business with holy Meditations and take all opportunities to bless and praise Almighty God and to excite others to do the same Lastly I will watch over my own heart â—nd withdraw my thoughts when I perceive them ramble That so in the whole series and connexion of them I may be careful to prevent what is idle and impertinent and may use my self to think only of such things of which if a Man upon a sodain should ask me What it is I am thinking I may freely answer with that Royal tho Pagan Philosopher this and that Antonin Medit. p. 55. Found my self also Guilty of much deadness dulness and wandering Thoughts in my Devotions Exaamining my self I found the cause to be want of keeping my self always in an habitual temper of seriousness and piety want of due praemeditation before I come to pray and not keeping that watch over my own heart in prayer as I ought Upon which I resolved by God's assistance 1 First To endeavour to abstract my self from multiplicity of business and cares in the World and by frequent returns of my Soul to God to keep my self in an habitual frame and temper of piety continually 2 I will always before my Devotions prepare my self with such Meditations as these That that God before whom I am now going to appear is a God of infinite Majesty and Glory That nothing but what is hearty and from the ground of the soul is accepted by him That it is the fervent prayer only that is effectuaal and prevaileth with him How great need I have of those things that I come to ask and that for ought I know this may be the last opportunity I may have to put up any petition unto God 3 I will be sure to keep a strict watch over my heart in prayer and if I find my thoughts stragling I will presently chide my self and recollect them with greater fervency to cross the Devil's design therein 4 If all my care cannot yet prevent I will implore God's mercy and pardon after and continue to pray for the Spirit of Supplication and Devotion until I have obtained it Lastly Found my self guilty of some â—incture of Hypocrisie directing my Words and Christian Actions to the end of praise and esteem of Men to be thought Religious c. which I purpose â—o avoid 1 By considering the hainousness of â—his Sin how detestable it is to God â—nd odious to Man 2 If I embrace this praise of Men â—his is like to be all the reward I shall have for all my strict and holy Walking â—erily saith our Saviour of the Scribes â—nd Pharisees who did all their holy â—uties for ostentation and to be seen of Men they have their reward and may expect none from God in another World 3 Let me take care of harbouring any thoughts of my own Excellencies in respect of Grace c. or of ascribing any praise and glory to my self which is due only to God and say Not unto me not unto me but unto God give the glory Thus I have given you a taste of the manner of keeping your Narrative and the examples of it in some Sins which you may your self enlarge as there is occasion The use of this Narrative or Catalogue of Sins is obvious to every one especially good Christians who alone oâ— else such as desire to be so I suppose give themselves the trouble of perusing this Manual I have given some Account of it before and shall therefore now but briefly touch on it The great use of it is That on days of Fasting and Humiliation especially before the Sacrament you may read them over with a serious consideration examining your own Conscience strictly with all the heightning circumstances which may make them seem more odious in thy sight and raise in thee a deeper Sorrow Contrition and Repentance for them also to work in thee serious Resolutions against them for the time to come and that not only in general but particular every sin and consider what it was that induced thee to the commission of this or that sin and resolve to avoid the occasions of it for the future and also what it is that may be most useful to thee towards the attainment of this or that Grace which thou either wantest or is but faint and weak in thee And as it will be fit for thee to keep by thee a Catalogue of thy Sins so I judge it will be no less profitable also to preserve a Catalogue of any extrordinary Mercies that God