Selected quad for the lemma: heart_n
Text snippets containing the quad
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A29888
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Prison thoughts written by Tho. Browning, citiyen [sic] and cook of London, who hath been a prisoner in Ludgate ever since the twelveth day of August, 1680.
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Browning, Tho. (Thomas)
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1682
(1682)
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Wing B5188; ESTC R37167
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46,069
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53
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Heart against them O Blessed Jesus that knowest the Necessities of all thy Vniversal Commands to Repentance to all men methinks seems to be peculiarly directed to me who have neglected this most necessary Duty hitherto thou O Lord seest my Danger and pittiest my Approaching Ruine I Bow my Head and Heart and neither can or dare disobey so gracious and loving Advice so useful and necessary a Warning thy bare Words hath been sufficient to command Obedience from me who do expect Eternal Salvation by thee but thou art pleased further to convince me I do believe dearest Jesus the Benefit is great if I shall turn now while thy Grace is offered so freely to all People I know the danger is dreadful if I delay any longer since 't is certain that thy Kingdom shall come but uncertain now soon either Death shall Arrest me or Judgment surprise me in such Delays I have great cause to bless thy Name that neither of these have happened yet unto me though I have even excluded thee out of my Heart and entertained my Sins there yet Lord thou callest on me still and now I am making what hast I can O remember not how long I have staid but consider how little time I have left and by the help of thy Grace make my Work short and easie proportionable to my Time and Strength I confess that I knew before but I never considered it till now and now I dare not stay but through thy help I come O do not cast me off for thy Mercies sake Oh my Soul thou art surely seized with a strange Distemper which resists the Efficacy of the choisest Remedies the Plaister which cures others doth not avail me I confess my Offences every day on my bended Knees but my Faith is Weak my Hope Wavering my sense of Gods Love very small so that I am almost tempted to live like those that are unconverted and unconcerned whether they sin or no because I find no Benefit by all my Humiliations and this Temptation had prevailed if I had not seen that since others receive some Advantage by these meanes the fault is in me and not in them nor in the God whom I Serve he cannot deny his Promises falsifie his Word nor reject those when they come who come upon his Courteous Invitation O where then is this accursed thing that restrains Gods Mercies blasts my Endeavours and puts me upon Injurious Thoughts against Heaven Atheistical Resolutions of totally neglecting those Holy Things the Matter of my Duty is good for God commands it the Benefit is great for many have found it to be so but Is it done in a right manner The failing may be there I have been more careful to kneel reverently look sadly sigh grievously and tell the Almighty a Story of my Sinful Life with Addresses becomming a Penitent but this comes far short of what God requires even a Broken Heart and a Contrite Spirit for I have been so concerned to seem sorrowful that I have not endeavoured really to be so O my God thou that searchest the Heart and tryest the Reins thou hast seen my Heart untouch't in the midst of these Pretences I have not been smitten with the Odiousuess of my Sins to thee nor the Danger to me and therefore I have not fully renounced them nor yet absolutely returned to thee and thy Ways and therefore thou hast not blessed my Confessions which have been rather looked upon by me as an Indulgence to go on since my former were so easily pardoned than an Ingagement to forsake mine Iniquities but now I see my Vileness in making so slight Addresses for so great a Favour I discern my Folly to cheat my self of so considerable a Blessing and my Sloath to slip so many fair Opportunities by my deceitful Behavior before thee O Lord I have deceived my self I am hugely ashamed that having offended so dear and loving a Father I have not been really concerned more and having so gracious a God to turn to I am yet so far distant from him if I want Pardon or Peace the blame must be upon my own Negligence for thou art apt to give and ready to forgive long before thou punishest Sinners but soon intreated to receive Presents dost most joyfully lay aside thy Resolutions of Judgments when we promise our Purpose of Amendment O my Soul will not this real Goodness of thy God shame thy Hyppocrisy Will it not pierce thine Heart to see whom thou hast offended and thaw thy Hopes to behold him whom thou art turning to his Holiness is mixed with Long-suffering his Justice with Mercy his Decrees allayed with Limitations and is it fit to approach him without Love or Fear Hopes or Desires Gratitude oâ— Admiration Or Is the Forgiveness too mean a Favour that it deserves no more Hearty Applications sure enough mine Hyppocrisy hath hindred my Pardon wherefore I begin to detest it and hereafter I will look more to the Disposition of my Heart than the Posture of my Body I will set him before me whose Love I have abused and whose Patience I have tried who is so gracious as to spare me and so willing to be Reconciled to a most ungrateful Wretch that when I come to him I may have my Eyes filled with Tears and my Cheeks with Blushes and my Heart with Sorrow I will remembeâ— who I am that go so that my Heart may be humâ—â—e and what I go for that I may be earnest and who I go to that I may be full of Faith and Hope so thaâ— my Addresses may not be in vain but that all these gracious Attributes may be made good unto me for Jesu Sake to whom be Glory for ever Thomas Brownings 's Prayer O Lord prepare my unprepared and sinful Heart by thy Holy and Blessed Spirit to Pray unto thee for Jesus Christ his Sake pour down into my Heart thy Spirit of â—race Supplication and Humiliation good God do away mine Iniquities and remember my Transgressens no more help me to pour out my Soul before thee under a deepsence of and a true sorrow for all my Sins which I have most wickedly and grieviously committed against thy Divine Majesty from time to time help me to pray with the Spirit and with Understanding let thy Spirit help my Infirmities with Sighs and Groans that cannot be expressed strike my Heart with an Awe and Dread of thy Maiesty help me to approach thy Presence with Reâ—erence a Godly Shame and Holy Trembling there is no secret Thoughts afar off help me to confess my Sins with a true Sorrow for the same help me to depart from all Iniquity that it may not be my Ruine let me hate all Sin with a perfect Hatred and avoid the very Appearance of Evil let me no longer regard any Iniquity in my Heart least it prove my undoing knowing that the very Hope of the Hyppocrite stall perish but work in me a Godly Sorrow for my sin which may cause a